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I imagine Goro as my significant other…
“You’re pouting. Is something wrong? I didn’t mess anything up, did I?”
Goro flickers his gaze at him. “Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“Oh?”
“From the courtship, to the proposal, all the way down to the wedding itself.” Goro's smile is as sincere as it is deadly. “Once again, you’ve outshone me in every single way. You will never tire of winning against me, will you?”
Akira can’t help it - he laughs. “Oh, c’mon. Can’t this be something you’re happy to lose? I’d say you weren’t complaining earlier.”
The smile is wiped right off of Goro’s face. “I was caught in the moment,” he huffs. “And to answer your question, no. I can’t. I was supposed to blow you away with the wedding of your dreams. In the end, you didn’t even let me lift a finger. I could divorce you right this second.”
“What, just so you can have a turn playing wedding planner?” He reaches out to Goro, grins when Goro easily slots himself into Akira’s arms even as he glares daggers into him. “Weddings are expensive, you know. If you wanna compete with me you’re gonna be paying for it out of pocket.”
“Has anyone ever complimented you on your sense of humor?” Goro asks drily. “If they have, allow me to show you the truth: they were lying right to your face.”
“You’re such a charmer,” Akira swoons, leaning in to nuzzle at Goro’s neck. The sharp notes of his expensive perfume hits Akira’s senses, slightly faded after a long day. Goro sighs when he presses kisses onto his skin, and Akira feels his hands sinking into his curls.
“Seriously, though,” Akira says eventually. “You’re happy this happened, right?”
For a moment, he’s only met with silence. Despite his better judgment, Akira can still feel a lump forming in his throat, a pit forming in his stomach. Which is ridiculous - he knows Goro like the back of his hand, knows that the silence means nothing except that he needs time and space to formulate his words. And yet he’s still struck with the fear that he dragged Goro into something he never wanted, that he unwittingly trapped him into a life he has no control over, all over again.
Eventually, Goro’s hand pulls him up and away from his neck, forcing him to look into his eyes. “Would I have gone along with everything if I didn’t want it?” he asks.
“No.”
“Correct. You gave me plenty of time to back out, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“And yet, I stayed. I answered every stupid little question you asked, from the cake flavor to the exact shade of off-white I preferred. Is that right?”
“Yes,” Akira answers, letting the corners of his mouth twitch upwards despite himself, “You did.”
“Then why are you still doubting me?”
It’s a question that pierces straight to his chest, a sharp and physical pain.
Because it’s too good to be true. Because you were my greatest wish, back in that distorted reality. Now you’ve come back, you let me propose to you, you let me plan this wedding, and now you’re mine for the rest of our lives. If it all turns out to be fake then I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.
“... Because I don’t want to be like every other person who’s tried to control you,” is what he settles on. He tightens his grip around Goro’s waist; Goro steps closer until they’re chest to chest. “That’s the last thing I want. I want you to be exactly who you are, in exactly the place that you want to be in. Even if it means not being able to be there with you.”
“I see,” Goro says. “And do you know what I’ve gathered from this conversation?”
“What?”
“That you still are, and always will be, the biggest fool I will ever know.”
“Wha–” Akira sputters, and Goro laughs. It’s his real one, loud and sharp, echoing against the walls of the empty church. “Hey, I’m baring my heart out to you, and that’s what you have to say?”
“Get used to it.” He reaches out to pinch Akira’s cheek, the pressure a touch too painful. “It’s something you need to hear. You’ve seen me be more willing to die than be under someone else’s thumb for the rest of my life. But getting married, tying myself down to someone else for the rest of my days… you think I’d let that happen to me if I didn’t want it?”
“I… I suppose you wouldn’t.”
“You know I wouldn’t.”
Something in Akira’s chest loosens and falls away. All at once, he feels as if he can breathe again. “Okay,” he exhales. “Okay. You’re right, I’m sorry.”
“No, I want you to understand.” He takes Akira’s chin in his hand and forces their gazes to lock. “You were the one who cut my strings and gave me the life of freedom I so desperately wanted. And I have decided, entirely on my own, to spend that freedom with you. Nothing will make me change my mind. Do I make myself clear?”
His vision is blurring. When he blinks to clear it up, Goro’s fingers are there to wipe away his tears. “Yes. I understand.”
“Good.” Goro’s smile is soft. Akira’s never seen anything like it before. “Then let’s get out of here. I don’t want to be late for the flight.”
“The flight?” Akira asks, letting Goro take his hand and pull him towards the exit. “To where?”
“Ah, that’s a surprise. After all, I’m not letting myself lose to you.”
“Dude? Are you okay?”
Someone’s shaking his shoulder, snapping him out of his daydream. Ryuji’s there when he opens his eyes, looking at him worriedly. “There you are. Thought we lost ya for a second. Did you even hear what I asked?”
Of course he did. How else could he have spiraled into such a stupid, indulgent fantasy - of what they could have in the future, if only he hadn’t failed all those months ago - when he had been doing such a good job at keeping his thoughts away from Goro in the first place?
He was doing so well at keeping himself distracted. At reining his thoughts in whenever they drifted too close to the man he might never see again. All at once, he feels plunged back into his own grief once more, as if it had never left. The glove in his pocket burns against his skin.
“Yeah, I heard you,” he says anyway.
“Well? C’mon, who’s your pick?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’d marry anyone here.”