Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“She thinks I’m a nice guy. But women don’t want nice.” Zuko spoke up, standing next to Azula, who was looking straight ahead. The street was busy, but that didn’t affect the conversation they were having.

“I haven’t seen one person go into that restaurant since it opened. Pathetic.” Azula observed as people just walked in front of the business, the older man trying to hand out coupons for the establishment.

“Why is nice bad? What kind of sick society are we living in where nice is bad?”

“What’s that smell? What are you wearing?” Azula turned towards Zuko.

He covered himself self-consciously. “A little cologne. Why?”

“It smells similar to one Mai wears.”

“No, it doesn’t. I bought this one because Jin told me to wear it.”

“And why did you agree?”

“Because I’m nice!”

Azula rolled her eyes. “Sure. Anyways, look at this guy. His family is probably halfway across the world, waiting for him to send back money. It’s so sad.”

“She wants me to take an IQ test.”

“It’s because you’re stupid enough to wear Mai’s cologne.”

“It’s not Mai’s cologne!” Zuko yelled, making a couple of the people on the street look at him confused. “She’s taking a course on education for her master’s. It’s part of her research project, so I have to be her guinea pig.”

“I’ve never been a guinea pig. I’ve been a wolf, been a dog…”

“You know what? I can’t talk to you anymore.”

Azula groaned. “Don’t be so dramatic Zuzu. Go ahead. You’re taking the IQ test.”

“Yes, she’s gonna find out I’m a moron. You know, people think I’m smart, but I’m not smart.”

“Who thinks you’re smart?”

“I’m not gonna break 100 on this thing.” Zuko sighed in defeat.

“I completely agree. I would tell you to study, but if you’re not smart, you’re not smart”

“You know, I don’t get why she’s doing this in the first place.” He said with a bit of anger in his voice. Azula still faced forward, a frown on her face from looking at the pathetic restaurateur. “IQ tests are outdated. There are so many ways to measure intelligence that one score doesn’t define you. Plus, it has a racist history that is biased against people of color, which we are.”

Azula rolled her eyes once nomre. Sometimes she couldn’t understand how she was fully related to the waste of space she called brother. It was as if they had been raised by two completely different people…which was true in a sense. Zuko had been raised by their mother while she was raised under her father’s guidance. Apparently, it did a number on their values as grown adults.

“Oh please, that’s just what people who score low tell themselves to feel better about their underdeveloped brains. And for God’s sake, don’t use being a person of color as an excuse. We went to a private school. We weren’t discriminated against…we did the discrimination.”

“He’s serving Mexican, Chinese, Italian. He’s all over the place, that’s why nobody’s going in.” Azula looked at the restaurant from her apartment, binoculars in hand.

Mai put her coffee down. “Why do you keep watching?”

“I don’t know, I’m obsessed with it.” The girl turned around to talk to her friend. “It’s like a spider in the toilet struggling for survival, and even though you know he’s not going to make it, you root for him for a second.”

“Then you flush.”

“Well yes, it’s a spider.”

Azula brought the binoculars back to her face and looked out the window, analyzing the not-so-ins and outs of the restaurant.

“You know, sometimes people won’t go in a place if they don’t see anyone else in there.”

“That’s because most people are sheep.”

Mai returned to read the newspaper as Azula looked out the window. A few seconds passed before the buzzer for the intercom sounded. The two women stayed doing their own thing, which irked Azula a bit. She turned to stare at Mai, who was still reading the newspaper.

With a motion towards the entrance, Azula spoke up. “The buzzer.”

“It’s your house,” Mai spoke up without looking up from the article.

“My house…you can use the bathroom and pass out in here, but you can’t press the buzzer.” She muttered as she walked towards the buzzer. “Who is it?”

“It’s Zuko.” He said through the intercom.

“Come on up.” Azula pressed the buzzer to let Zuko in, then made her way back to the window to watch the restaurant once again. “Go in peasants.”

Mai looked up from the newspaper and crossed her arms. “Have you gone in there?”

Bringing the binoculars down, the owner of the apartment faced her friend. “Well, no. I’m afraid we’ll start talking and I end up investing in the restaurant. You know I’m a born philanthropist.”

Mai scoffed but said nothing else. It was typical of Azula to make an excuse to make her seem not hypocritical, as well as the good person everybody knew she wasn’t.

“Shikata ga nai.”

“What was that?” Azula asked

“Some Japanese phrase which basically says it is what it is. Wanted to say it out loud.”

“Hey.” The door opened and Zuko walked in with a thick SAT prep book and seven rolls of bread in hand. He walked towards the table where Mai was sitting and placed the bread rolls on top.

“You know, I could probably shoot him from up here. I’d be doing us both a favor.” Azula talked to herself, still watching the restaurant from the window.

The stoic woman suddenly scrunched up her nose and began to sniff. She looked towards Zuko and sniffed a bit harder.

The scarred man groaned. “I’m wearing some cologne, alright?”

“Is that Chanel? I think I have the same one.” Mai commented.

“No, you don’t.

“Since when do you wear cologne?” She asked, taking her mug of coffee and sitting down on the couch at Azula’s apartment.

“Why is what I do so important?! Why must I always be the focal of attention? Let me be. Let me live!”

Azula smiled at her brother’s discomfort. It was fun watching him get annoyed over the slightest things.

“So, how’d you do on that IQ test?” She asked, moving towards the couch and sitting down next to Mai.”

Zuko grimaced and sat down on the chair adjacent to the couch. “I haven’t taken it yet.”

“What IQ test?” Mai inquired.

“The poor woman dating Zuzu is making him take a test for some course.”

“Fun.”

Zuko rolled his eyes and covered his face with his hands. “Yeah, fun. IQ tests are totally bogus. They prove nothing!”

“You won’t fail. You’re somewhat smart.” Mai shrugged.

“No, you see, he’s not smart. Apparently, people think he is, but he’s not.” Azula grinned at Zuko.

The stoic woman furrowed her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side. “Azula, didn’t your parents take you to get tested when you were younger? Shouldn’t they have taken Zuko too?”

“Yes, they took me because they had suspicions about me being a genius. And they were right. But, my mother didn’t want to let Zuko feel inferior to me, so they never took him to get a test. My father was against the idea, of course, but never fought against her in that regard.”

“And now I have to take the test so the woman I’m dating can see I’m dumb.”

“I’m curious. What’s your IQ Azula?”

“161”

“Mine’s 145.” Mai commented.

Zuko sat up straight and looked at his ex-girlfriend. “145?! No way.”

“I believe it. After all, she was smart enough to break up with you Dumdum.” Azula chuckled.

“Maybe you should take the test for me.” Zuko scoffed

“Wouldn’t that be something? Cheating on an IQ test…hey, remember in High School when you passed your mutt friend the test out the window? What was his name again? The darker-skinned, ugly, stupid face with the unbearably whiny sister. You know, he was dating Suki…Ty Lee had a crush on him.”

“Sokka?” Mai asked before taking a sip from her coffee.

“Right. Sokka. You helped him cheat in Piandao’s class. For once in my life I respected you. Not because you helped your friend, but because you didn’t get caught.”

“I really had some guts back then…” Zuko smiled. His face suddenly morphed into realization as his brain came up with an idea. “Why don’t we do it again?”

“What?” Mai asked, playing with a hair tie by launching it into a bowl in the kitchen.

“You could take the IQ test for me!” The scarred young man faced Mai with a smile. "I could pass it to you out the window. We could do it! She lives down on the first floor.”

“Are you serious?”

“Why not?”

Mai sat up straighter and faced her ex, who was gleaming at his ingenious idea. “Where would I take the test?”

“She lives around the corner. You could take it here, or go to the coffee shop.”

“No, that’s too noisy.”

“What do you think about it?” Mai asked Azula

She shrugged and stood up from her seat. “You can take it in the Dream Café. It’s always good to help those less fortunate. Plus, it’d be a great way to pass time. Better than being bored.”

Mai contemplated for a second. As she did, Azula stood up and walked to the window, once again taking her binoculars and looking at the empty restaurant.

“Please, Mai? I’ll owe you one.” Zuko begged

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll take the test for you.”

“Yes! Thank you so much!”

A middle-aged man stood by the window of his restaurant, looking outside to see if there was anybody coming to eat. It had been a week and he had still to get one customer. His whole family was waiting in Pakistan for him to send that very first check. The one thing he wanted to do was to be part of the American dream. He has his restaurant, helps his family back home, and eventually becomes a rich and successful man with a blonde wife.

But so far, nothing seemed to be working. He had put his whole life into opening The Dream Café, yet his efforts weren’t reflected in his checkbook.

As he looked outside, he noticed a beautiful woman walking to the restaurant and, for the first time ever, headed inside. Before she reached for the door, he opened the door for her with a great smile.

“Welcome to the Dream Café.” He greeted with a smile on his face.

“Well, I’ve been looking forward to it,” Azula said, looking around the restaurant. The tables had checkered red and white cloths on top, and there were Chinese, Italian, Greek, and Mexican flags hanging around the restaurant. A photo of the 45^th president hung on the wall, right beside a replica of Michelangelo’s David.

“Oh, how did you hear about us?”

She turned around and faced the pathetic smiling man. “People. People are talking.”

“Please take a seat over here.” The man headed towards one of the tables and pulled out a chair, allowing Azula to sit on it. “My name is Chey Chouhan. I will be your waiter.”

Chey looked back and grabbed a towel with his thongs.

“A steaming hot towel for your lovely face.” He said as he handed Azula the towel. She grabbed it and could immediately tell that if she were any other person, that towel would have given her second-degree burns. “Our specials are moussaka, tacos, and chow mein.”

This was certainly a mistake. Azula thought as she looked at the menu. “Well, what do you recommend?”

“Oh, the turkey,” Chey said with a smile.

“Then I shall have the turkey. And may I say that you have a lovely establishment here. I am sure it will flourish at this location for many years to come.”

“You are a very, very kind woman.” Chey smiled as he retired to the kitchen.

With a smile, Azula sighed satisfied with herself. Very kind. I am a kind woman. Who else would do something like this? Save a failing horribly defined establishment from certain doom? Giving hope to the less fortunate? Nobody. Nobody thinks about people the way I do.

“Now, you go in the living room and I’ll take the test right here.” Zuko slightly pushed Jin out of the bedroom.

“But why?”

“I won’t be able to concentrate with you around me.” He gave a simple excuse.

“Aw, I think you’re making too much of this. IQ tests don’t mean anything.” Jin said with a smile on her face.

“Are you kidding me? This is the best tool we have so far for measuring a person’s intelligence.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get started, please.”

Jin smiled and kissed him on the lips. “Good luck.”

“Don’t need it.” Zuko smiled back as he closed the door and locked it. He then ran to the window and opened it, revealing a scowling Mai with her arms crossed.

“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes.”

“I’m sorry. Here’s the test. Thanks again for doing this.”

“Whatever. What time do you want me back here?”

Zuko looked at his watch. “Uhhh 2:40. Should give you enough time.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Azula sat at her table in the empty restaurant, dreading the day she decided to become a good person. Being deplorable was so much more fun and entertaining.

Chey stood next to her, refilling her glass of water after every sip she took. The turkey was not very good, and the overly nice owner was getting on her gear.

“Thank you, Chey.” She said after the waiter/owner once again refilled her already-full glass of water. “I must say, you are quite the restaurateur.”

“It is indeed my pleasure.”

“Oh please.” It is your pleasure.

Just then, the door opened and Mai came in with the test in hand.

“Oh! Welcome to The Dream Café!” Chey walked over to Mai with a smile. “Our specials today—”

“I’ll just have tea and toast,” Mai said, sitting in front of Azula and not sparing a glance at the owner.

“Tea and toast,” Chey repeated with a defeated tone.

Azula turned angry at Mai. “Eat something! Chey, come over here.”

He returned and handed Mai the menu. She looked it over with a bored expression. “I’ll have the rigatoni.”

“Oh! Oh, very good choice.” Chey smiled and went back to the kitchen.

Mai then took out the papers from the envelope in her hand.

“Wow, you’re actually helping Zuko cheat.”

“I know.”

The door of the restaurant opened once again and in came a familiar face.

“Hey!” The bubbly friend said as she entered the establishment.

“Hi, Ty Lee.” Azula greeted, continuing to eat her turkey.

The third woman walked over to the table and sat down next to Mai. “Azula, let me ask you something. So I have this friend who has this boyfriend, and one day I was cold and he offered me his hoodie. I was freezing, so I took it and then forgot to give it back. Now my friend is calling me because I’m apparently stealing her boyfriend because I didn’t give back the hoodie! It’s such a cute hoodie too. Look at it.” Ty Lee said, stretching the front of the hoodie she was wearing to show her friend.

“It looks like a normal hoodie.”

“It’s more comfortable. Anyways, I’m not giving it back.”

“This is why you have a reputation for being a homewrecker.”

“It’s a hoodie! It’s not that deep.”

Azula rolled her eyes. “Please, everyone knows it is that deep.”

Ty Lee ignored her friend’s comment and reached out to the chips that were on the center of the table, spilling some on Mai’s test.

“Okay,” Mai said as she took her papers and sat elsewhere.

“Anyways, I’m not giving it back. It’s a matter of principle now.”

“What principle? You have her boyfriend’s hoodie.”

“I think there should be a statue of limitations on this. You know, it’s been more than a month. Just let me have the hoodie.”

“Statute.”

Ty Lee frowned. “What?”

“Statute of limitations. It’s not a statue.” Azula corrected

“No, it’s statue.”

“Fine, it’s a sculpture of limitations.”

“Wait a minute.” Ty Lee put her hand up and turned around. “Mai. Mai. Mai.”

“What?”

“You’re smart. Is it statue or statute of limitations?”

“Statute,” Mai said with a glare.

Ty Lee scoffed. “Well, I think you’re wrong.”

“Look, Ty Lee, I really gotta take this test. I don’t have a lot of time.”

“What test?” Ty Lee asked as she moved across the restaurant to sit next to Mai.

“An IQ test.”

“Huh? Why are you taking an IQ test?”

“It’s for Zuko.”

“Zuko?”

“Yeah, look. Can I explain it to you later?”

“But why are you taking an IQ test for Zuko?”

“Would you please let me do it?”

“Is it for like a job or something?” Ty Lee kept asking.

“Later!”

The bubbly woman looked around and then quietly approached Mai’s ear. “Are you 100% sure it’s statute?”

“Yes”

The door began rattling, and Zuko looked up from the magazine he was reading.

“Zuko? The door is locked.”

“Are you sure?”

“I need to get something.”

Zuko grimaced. “Jin, I’m really concentrated here. This stuff is hard.”

“Zuko!”

“Wish I could, sorry.”

The Dream Café had turned out to be the worst place to take the test. Not only did the owner, Chey, begin to sing out loud as he cleaned his empty restaurant, but his so-called help accidentally made Mai’s rigatoni spill on the test.

“I’m out of here.” She said, taking her dirty test out of the restaurant.

Chey looked crestfallen as he saw one of his only customers leave with such a negative attitude. He sat down on a chair, looking down at his hands, wondering what had gone wrong. Azula sighed and made her way to him, sitting down at the opposite side of the table.

“It’s alright. She was cheating anyways.”

“You’re a very kind woman.”

“Chey,” Azula leaned forward. “You’re Pakistani, correct?”

“Yes! Pakistani, yes.”

“Chey, may I say something?”

“Of course! You’re a very smart woman. I will listen”

“I am not a restauranteur by any means. However, it occurs to me that perhaps, you might serve some dishes from your native Pakistan, as opposed to say the chow mein, for example.”

Chey motioned outside. “But there are no Pakistani people here.”

“It doesn’t matter. You would have the only authentic Pakistani restaurant in the neighborhood.”

“Yes…” Chey's smile began to creep up. “You see everything, don’t you?”

“I do see things most people miss,” Azula said with a cocky voice.

The man hit the table. “I will close today, and when I open again, it will be an all-Pakistani restaurant. Thank you so much. You’re a very special person. Very special.”

Azula smiled to herself. I am such a great person. Who else would have gone through all the trouble to help this poor dirty immigrant? Nobody, that’s who. I am special. My father was right. Of course, I’ve never had Pakistani food, but how bad can it be?

“It was an accident.” Mai sighed.

Zuko looked at the sauce-filled test papers with a pale face. He could not believe the luck he had. The one time he cheated to make himself look better in front of his girlfriend, and this is what happened! Maybe Mai had done it on purpose to make him look stupid.

“What, did you go on a picnic?”

“Chey Chouhan did it.”

“Chey Chouhan?” Zuko stared at the papers. “How am I gonna explain this?”

“Time’s up Zuko!” Jin said from beyond the door.

“Good luck,” Mai told him as she walked away from the window.

“Okay…” Zuko closed the window and walked to the door, opening it with a smile. “Here you go.”

“How did you do?”

“Piece of cake.” He chuckled.

Jin's laugh cut off as she looked at the sauce-filled paper in her hand.

“What happened to the test?”

“What? Oh, I spilled some food on it.” Zuko replied without a second thought. There was no way to cover that the test was, in fact, dirty from food.

Jin frowned as she looked at Zuko, who was trying to maintain an innocent look.

“Food? What food?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Where did you get food?”

“From my pocket,” Zuko answered as if the answer was as obvious as 1+1.

“Your pocket?”

“I had a sandwich in my pocket.”

“And coffee?” Jin asked, noticing that the papers also had the distinct look of coffee spilled on them.

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, had some coffee too.”

“Where did you get the coffee?"

"From the coffee shop, obviously.”

“How did you get there?”

“I walked.”

“But how? I didn’t see you leave the apartment.”

“I climbed out the window. I used to sneak out a lot when I was a teenager, so it wasn’t hard.”

Jin grinned. “You’re a fascinating man Zuko.”

“Well, we’ll see if you still think that after the results.”

“The average person sees a situation like this and walks right by it. Not me. I help those in need without asking for retribution.” Azula smiled as she looked out the window, Chey’s restaurant being closed for renovation.

“You’re a wonderful person,” Mai said sarcastically, reading her book on the couch.

The door opened and Ty Lee entered. Azula had gotten used to her bubbly friend never knocking on the door, even if she didn’t like the fact.

“Hey Azula, can you do me a favor? If a woman comes here asking if you’ve seen me, can you tell her you don’t know where I am?”

“Of course, that’s what I always do.”

“It’s my friend, or ex-friend maybe.” Ty Lee rolled her eyes. “She’s been way too annoying about the hoodie.”

“Just give it back,” Mai commented.

“She’ll have to kill me first.” Ty Lee replied, closing the door.

“And I thought Zuko was the dramatic one.” The stoic girl muttered.

“Speak of the devil,” Azula said. “Hey, Zuko!”

“I’m coming up.”

“How did you do on the IQ test?” She yelled out the window.

“EIGHTY FIVE”

Mai closed her book and turned around.

“What?” Azula laughed

“Eighty-five, Azula! Eighty-five IQ!”

The younger sibling couldn’t hold her laughter. It was too good to be true. Not only had Zuko made a fool of himself in multiple ways, but Mai was also humiliated by the score. It stood to reason that Mai wasn’t as smart as Azula, but an eighty-five IQ was simply too funny.

“Eighty-five?” Mai asked from the couch.

“Well, well, well.” Azula walked away from the window and closer to Mai.

“Is he coming up?”

“Well, I’m no genius. Wait, yes I am, and the only one here according to the new studies. If I trust my calculations, he should be here any second.”

Mai stood up and began pacing. “An eighty-five, that’s ridiculous.”

“Well, maybe the test was gender-biased. Did they ask anything about testicles or gaslighting?”

Mai stared Azula down, but her glare was not as intimidating as it could be. Part of her was wondering how she scored such a low score on an IQ test. A 60-point drop was insane, even more considering she didn’t have a brain injury or anything of the sort.

The door opened and in came Zuko with an angry face.

“Oh, hello doctor.”

“Zuko, there must have been a mistake.”

“You should have seen her face. It was the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be an actor." He sat down on a dining chair and looked up.

"I wish I could’ve seen that,” Azula muttered

“There were too many distractions. Chey…whatever his name was, and Ty Lee. I couldn’t concentrate.”

“It was a madhouse,” Azula exclaimed with sarcasm.

“It was.”

“Oh please, you wouldn’t last a second in a real madhouse. I would know.”

“Let me take it again Zuko.”

“Oh no.” He stood up.

“I guarantee you a 140. What do you have to lose?”

“You can do worse!”

“Impossible. I guarantee that I will do better.”

Zuko sighed defeated. “Fine, I’ll ask her.”

“Good. Now, where am I gonna take it?”

“I’m in a generous mood. You can take it here and I’ll leave. You will have no distractions.” Azula proposed.

Mai turned to Zuko and gave him a very brief, but very real smile. He only rolled his eyes.

Chey looked out the window of his restaurant, waiting for customers to enter his establishment. He wore a traditional kurta and a turban. It may have been seen as stereotypical for anybody looking, but he wanted to make his customers think they were in Pakistan. For those who had never traveled to the country, this could be a way to expose them to some aspects of his culture.

But the customers never came, and he was alone in the restaurant, traditional Pakistani music playing in the background as it mocked his situation.

Suddenly the door opened, and in came the person responsible for all of the changes in the restaurant.

“Well, congratulations Chey. I am sorry I missed the grand re-opening. I was out of town for the week.”

“You see how I listen?” He spoke up in a somber tone. “I work very hard, borrow more money.”

“I think it’s fantastic. It has a certain indescribable charm, that while not my style, I commend you for it.”

“You wish to eat?”

“That would be nice, yes. Tell your chef I want the works.”

“Very good,” Chey said, pulling out a chair and putting it down harshly. Without another word, he walked towards the kitchen.

Azula walked around the restaurant and grinned. Very good? No, not very good. Very great. I am very, very great.

Mai stretched her back as soon as she finished the test. She was positive that this time she would get at least a 120. If she didn’t…she would have to rethink her whole life.

As she stood up, Ty Lee came into the apartment and closed the door, locking it behind.

“What are you doing?” Mai asked

“Shh, don’t say anything.”

“What’s going on?” She whispered harshly

Someone knocked on the door from outside. “Ty Lee! I saw you go in there. I’m not leaving until you give me that hoodie.” A woman’s voice spoke. “Open up.”

“Ty Lee, why did you come in here?”

“Well, I thought I’d throw her off. See, she knows where I live.”

The door was pounded harshly again.

“Look, Ty Lee, I have to return this test. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

“I thought you took the test already.”

“I had to take it again.”

“How come?” Ty Lee inquired further.

“Why does it matter? Point is, I gotta go.”

“Well, you can’t leave now.”

The door pounded again. “Come on Ty Lee, I want that hoodie back!”

Ty Lee looked around nervous for a second, before shouting. “Never!”

Zuko looked out the window to see if Mai was anywhere near. But alas, his ex-girlfriend had apparently screwed him once again.

“Come on Zuko, time’s up,” Jin said from outside the room.

He looked around and saw no way out. He had to face her one way or another, and at least putting on a face was a bit more honorable than just jumping out the window.

With a brave face, Zuko opened the door and let Jin in.

“Well?” She asked with a smile.

“How are you doing?” He gave her a handshake.

“Where’s the test?” Jin asked, looking around the room.

Zuko chuckled. “You know, it’s the damnest thing. I went outside the window to get a cup of coffee and…”

Jin’s face showed all he needed to know.

“Chey, can you come over here?” Azula asked as she ate the traditional Pakistani dish. The owner walked over with a serious face. “Chey, I never do this. But I must tell you. The shrimp is a little stringy. Slightly inedible. Do you have any chicken?”

“The shrimp is a stringy?”

“Well, maybe your fridge—”

“Quiet!” Chey yelled, making Azula shut up and look at the owner with surprise.

“No, I—”

“You shut up!” Chey pointed his finger at the black-haired woman. “You made me change the restaurant, but nobody come. You said make Pakistani, but nobody come. Chey made an all-Pakistani restaurant, but where are the people? Do you see people? Show me the people!”

“You know, I think I’ll just take the check.”

“You’re a bad woman. A very, very bad woman.” Chey exclaimed as he walked away.

Azula frowned. Bad woman. Could my father have been wrong?

Mai knocked on the window very lightly, trying to see if Zuko was still inside. She knew she was late, but Ty Lee had really held her up. Why did she have to be friends with such a troublemaker?

The window opened and, much to her dismay, a woman looked at her with some anger.

“Are you looking for Zuko?” Jin asked

She knew she couldn’t lie her way out of this. “Yes.”

“Zuko left.”

“Oh.”

“Is that the test?”

“Oh. This? Yes, it is. Here you go.” Mai handed the folder with the test in it to Jin.

“Thanks. I hope you do a lot better this time.”

“I think I did. The first time I couldn’t con—” She was cut off by Jin shutting the window and walking away. Mai just rolled her eyes. “Bitch.”

The movers came out of the restaurant, each holding a pair of chairs. On the door, a big red sign indicated the fate of the restaurant.

Azula, Zuko, and Ty Lee stood on the street, looking at the movers.

“You know what it was? Bad location.” Azula said.

“Come on, let’s not stand here too long. We might run into him.” Zuko said.

Ty Lee stood shivering at Azula’s left.

“Aren’t you cold? Where’s your hoodie?” Azula asked, and her friend just gave her a side-eye. “Oh, right.” She grinned.

“I’m going upstairs.” The bubbly girl said before leaving.

“Hey,” Mai passed by. “I just ran into Jin. My IQ is officially 151.”

“Just ten points below mine. Nice job.” Azula commended

“Not bad,” Zuko muttered.

“So, what are you guys in the mood for? Mexican?” Azula asked

“Italian,” Mai said

“No, Chinese.”

“You know what would be great? One restaurant that had all those options. Someone should make that.” Azula nodded her head at her grand idea.

Mai and Zuko just stared at her.

Chapter Text

The three girl friends sat at Batu’s, the diner where they frequented. They sat at the same booth they did every other time, laughing around in silly banter.

“Let me ask you a question.” Azula started saying. “You’re a hostage captured by terrorists.”

“Who, me?” Mai asked.

“Yes you, your parents have connections. Anyways, say you’re in the little room. You’re chained to the floor. You’re there for a long time. Do you think they’d ever consider doing the laundry?”

“They have to. It’s in the Geneva Convention.”

Ty Lee frowned. “I think it depends on who the captors are. If they’re nice, they might make a wash once a week.”

“Nice terrorists?” Azula raised an eyebrow. “I bet they would only do laundry if they had to live in close quarters with you. Or if they were to take advantage of the situation. Nobody would like to have relations with a very dirty prisoner.”

“You’d be surprised at the kink of some people.” The bubbly woman shrugged.

“We’re talking about risking an infection.”

Just then, the door to the diner opened, and in came a very down-looking Zuko.

“Hey, Zuzu.”

The other two girls greeted him as well, but the man just sat down next to Mai silently.

“What's with the attitude?” Azula asked.

Zuko looked around and shrank in his seat. It had been a while since he had been so silent, which worried the three women in the booth. The scarred man sighed before answering his sister.

“Mom caught me.”

“Caught you? Doing what?” Azula asked.

“You know…” He looked at Mai, who was sitting next to him. “I was alone…”

Ty Lee’s eyes widened in realization and she smiled as she had never done before. “You mean—”

“Uhuh.”

“She caught you?” Mai smirked, which was her equivalent of a smile bigger than Ty Lee’s at the moment.

“Where?” Azula smiled.

Zuko sighed. “You know how I was using her car these past few days because mine had that problem? Well, I dropped by the house to drop her car off, and I went inside for a few minutes. Nobody was there. They’re supposed to be working.”

Mai picked up her soda and sipped, delighted by the story being told by her ex-boyfriend.

“There was a National Geographic magazine on the coffee table, and I started looking through it.”

“National Geographic?” Azula laughed

“Yes. I saw an article about one of these tribes where the women don’t wear any clothes. One thing led to another…”

“So what did mother do?” Azula asked, completely invested in the story. Her BLT sandwich was completely forgotten about at this point.

“Well, first she screamed: Zuko! My god, what are you doing?!” Zuko imitated his mother, at a laugh from his friends. “It looked like she was going to faint. She started to grab the wall, trying to hold on to it. I didn’t know whether to keep her from falling or zip up.”

“What did you do?” Inquired Ty Lee.

“…I zipped up.”

At this point, Azula was laughing too much, her face red from the story that could only happen to Zuko.

“So, she fell?” Mai asked.

“Yeah.” He muttered, noticing the judging looks Mai and Ty Lee were giving him. For her part, Azula was trying to keep herself dignified as she kept laughing. “Well, I couldn’t run over there the way I was! So then she fell and she started screaming: My back, my back! So I picked her up and took her to the hospital.”

“Oh.” His sister tried to stop her laughter but failed. “How is she?”

“She’s in a bed at the hospital. Has to be there for a couple of days.”

Azula closed her eyes to keep herself from looking at her brother, whose face alone caused her to laugh louder than possible. Mai resumed eating, and Ty Lee leaned forward to hear the rest of Zuko’s unfortunate tale.

“All she said on the way over to the hospital was: Why Zuko, why?” Zuko brought his hands to his head. “I’m telling you, I’m never doing that again.”

“You mean putting your mother in the hospital?” Ty Lee asked

Azula shook her head. “No, he means disappointing our parents. Quite an impossible task for Zuzu.”

“No! I meant…” He looked down and then to his hand. “You know…”

“What? You mean in your parent’s house, or altogether?”

“Altogether.”

“Oh please!” “Yeah right.” “Come on.” The three women said at the same time, all of them doubting that Zuko could ever do that.

“What, you don’t think I can?”

“No chance,” Azula said. “You don’t have the self-control to do so. You’re not me, after all.”

Zuko scoffed. “Like you could hold on. I still remember going into your room and there being random jeans out of your closet. And when mom used to tell you to stop crossing your legs that way, and you said you couldn’t because it felt good? You’re hornier than I am.”

“I would still be able to hold out longer than you.” Azula crossed her arms, looking to the side as a red tint rose to her cheeks. She didn’t like getting reminded of the embarrassing things she did as a child.

“Care to make it interesting?”

Azula looked at her brother. “Sure, how much?”

“$250”

“You’re on.”

Ty Lee raised her hand up. “Wait a second. Count me in.”

“You’ll be out before we get the check,” Azula smirked. “Actually, sit with both feet on the ground. I can see where your heel is.”

The bubbly woman humphed but put both feet on the ground.

“I want in too,” Mai said

The three friends all complained at the same time at her proposition.

“No way. You’ve never been as horned up as the rest of us.” Ty Lee said

“If you want to be in, you have to give us odds. Two to one. You have to put in 500 dollars.” Zuko spoke up.

“A thousand!” The bubbly woman exclaimed.

Mai crossed her arms. “That’s too much. I can put up 350.”

“Okay, that’s reasonable,” Zuko said. “Alright now, how are we going to monitor this?”

“Well, obviously we know each other very well.” Azula leaned forward. “We were raised with the same values. So, I propose that we all follow the honor system.” She said as she pointed to each of her friends.

They all looked at each other and nodded.

“Alright, come on.” Ty Lee said as she put her pinky in the middle. The rest of the friends followed her lead, putting their pinky fingers in the middle and linking them together. From that moment on, they could not perform any form of self-gratification.

“No Mom, I’m not going to see a psychiatrist,” Zuko spoke on the floor in Azula’s apartment. His sister sat on the couch, watching TV as she ate some mochi. “I don’t care that it helped Azula, or if you pay for it!”

Azula looked at her brother as she heard her name getting mentioned.

“No, discussion over! Alright? I’ll see you later. Of course I’m gonna come by, and I’ll try to bring Azula too. Okay? Bye.” Zuko hung up the phone and sat down next to his sister. “Mom wants me to see a psychiatrist now!”

“They are helpful.” She said, eating her mochi and watching Attack on Titan. “I don’t know if this is the best show to watch during this contest. I’m trying to simply watch people get eaten, but the characters are….”

“It’s an anime,”

“Your point?”

The buzz sounded and Azula stood up from her seat to see who it was. “So, how is she?”

“She’s fine. You should come with me to visit her tonight.”

“Mai?” Azula ignored Zuko's proposition.

“No.” Mai’s voice said from the intercom.

“Come on up.”

Azula pressed the button and then sat down in her seat once again.

“So, are you coming tonight?”

“Sorry, I have a date with Yue.”

“The Virgin ex-Mormon?” Zuko asked

She rolled her eyes. “Yes.”

“So, any progress?”

“Yes but not enough. I need to keep trying. That Mormon conviction is still strong.”

Ty Lee came in the room without so much as a knock and began to pace towards the window.  “Jie told me there’s a naked woman across the street.”

The siblings both stood up from the couch and went to join Ty Lee. To their surprise, there was a woman across the building, completely nude, just walking around her apartment.

“Who walks around the house like that?” Azula asked in surprise.

“I don’t think we should be doing this,” Zuko said

“Right,” Azula answered, not looking away from the beautiful woman.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ty Lee nodded, taking the figure of the woman into her mind. Silently, she turned around and left the apartment, closing the door behind her.

“Aren’t you sort of cheating on Yue by watching another woman be naked?”

Azula shook her head. “No. I see myself in the mirror all the time, and I’m hotter than that woman.”

“I don’t think that’s the issue.”

The door opened and in came Mai. “Hey.”

“Hey Mai,” Zuko said, finally taking his eyes off the woman. He walked and sat down on the couch, stealing one of Azula’s mochi earning no notice from his sister.

“So, where’s my money? Who caved?” Mai asked.

“Not me.” The siblings said at the same time.

“What is she looking at?” Mai asked Zuko, sitting down on the chair adjacent to the couch.

“A naked woman.”

The stoic girl frowned. “Isn’t that cheating on Yue?”

“Doesn’t count!” Azula yelled from the window, not taking her eyes off the woman in the opposite building.

“So, Suki is teaching an aerobics class tonight. I’m gonna go and check it out.”

Zuko leaned back. “I didn’t think aerobics was your thing.”

“Normally it isn’t, but she begged me to go. Can’t say I’m excited.” She sighed.

The door opened and Ty Lee came in with a satisfied grin. On the dining table, she loudly placed some money. “I’m out.”

The three friends turned to her, surprised at how fast it had been. They all knew Ty Lee wasn’t going to win, but they thought that she would at least last longer.

“What?” Mai asked

“Yeah, I’m out. I’m out of the contest.”

Zuko motioned to her with his hand. “You’re out?!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Wow, that was fast.” Azula smiled.

“Well, it was that woman across the street.” Ty Lee said in her defense. “You know Azula, you better be careful or you’re gonna be next.”

As she left, Mai, Zuko, and Azula all looked at each other.

“And then there were three,” Mai spoke.

“I don’t understand you, I really don’t,” Ursa said, lying on her bed. Zuko sat next to her with a bored expression, tired of all the berating his mother had done. On the one hand, it was annoying him to death. On the other, it was his fault that she was in this predicament. “What would you have done if your father had come in? Or God forbid your sister?”

“I’m sorry Mom, okay?”

“No, it is not okay Zuko. You have to learn to do that at an appropriate time, in an appropriate setting. Next thing I know, you’re one of those people who pleases themselves on the subway.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Alright Mom, that’s enough. I already apologized.”

“I want you to go see a psychiatrist.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not crazy.”

“Azula has one.” Ursa said.

“Exactly.”

“Hello, Aunt Ursa.” A male voice said from the entrance. Zuko looked up and saw his cousin Lu Ten walking in with a smile on his face. “Look at you! How did this happen?”

“Is that important?” Zuko said loudly. “She’s been through enough. Does she have to relive the experience now?”

At that moment, a beautiful nurse came into the room and talked to the patient on the other side of the room, which was separated by a simple white curtain. “Hi Minxia, it’s 6:30. Time for your sponge bath.

“Mmm, 6:30 already?” The woman on the other side said, her voice sounding particularly attractive. Zuko stiffened at the sound, feeling himself slightly lose control.

“So, Zuko,” Lu Ten began saying, apparently not noticing the shadows of the nurse and the patient on the other side. It was nothing more than a sponge bath apparently, but the shadow told a very different story. The patient was also making some very erotic sounds, which were extremely distracting for the scarred fellow. “What are you doing now? I heard you got some writing contract…Netflix was it?”

“Yeah, Netflix.” Zuko chuckled.

“Here, let me help you with that.” The nurse on the other side said as the shadows showed a figure taking off her top. Zuko was flustered at this, never feeling more uncomfortable in his life.

“Well, it’s about time.” Lu Ten grinned. “Dad never gave up his hope, but I actually thought you were going to wind up doing nothing for the rest of your life.”

Zuo couldn’t look at his cousin. The shadows were too erotic, as the scene seemed to come straight out of a porno. It was like a fantasy becoming reality, yet with his family members in the room.

“So, what is it you’re doing exactly?”

The scarred man just looked at the shadow, trying to calm himself but failing to do so. The sounds of the sponge bath were very distracting, overly so.

Ursa looked at her son. “Zuko! Your cousin Lu Ten is talking to you.”

Zuko just winced. There was no way he was winning the contest after this.

“So, when was the last time you took a class?” Suki asked Mai, who was checking in at the gym’s desk.

“I’ve never taken a class.”

“Are you excited?” She asked with a smile.

Mai sighed and replied with her signature monotone voice. “Yeah, I’m excited.”

“Well, you’re gonna thank me for getting you in here.”

“Why?”

“You see that guy over there?” Suki pointed with her pen at a beautiful man with slightly long hair. Mai looked over and her eyes widened as she recognized the movie star.

“Ruon Jian is here.”

“Uh huh, and he’s going to be in your class.” Suki grinned. “I can get you a spot right behind him. He has got a great butt.”

Mai looked at the handsome man with desire in her eyes. It wasn’t every day when she could say that she was going to do an aerobics class with a famous movie star, much less to be so close to him.

“…sounds good.”

Two women sat in a car, kissing each other as if their lives depended on it. On the one hand, was Yue, who was new to everything. She had grown up in a very religious household, and while she had separated from her family and religion, her childhood beliefs still crept up. It was hard accepting who she was, that she was attracted to both men and women and that she could do whatever she wanted.

On the other hand, was Azula, who was trying very hard to win the contest. Sex didn’t count as self-gratification, so doing stuff with Yue wouldn’t make her lose the contest, and it would help her situation a lot.

As they kissed, Yue stopped and pushed Azula off lightly.

“Let’s slow it down a little.” The woman with the white hair said.

Azula looked at her, mouth agape. “Slow it down?”

“Well, you know…” Yue looked to the side, ashamed of what she didn’t say.

“Ah, yes. I know.” Azula didn’t care that Yue was a virgin. Losing her virginity was never a big deal, she didn’t even remember when she did! But Yue cared about hers, so she had to respect that, even if it killed her.

“You’re okay with that, right?”

“Yeah! Of course.” Azula smiled. “What? Do you think I care about the sex? What kind of person do you think I am? That doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t care about that,”

“So I’ll see you Saturday night, then?”

“Sure! Saturday night. Nothing more exciting than watching a PG-13 movie with chocolate milk and going to sleep at 10 pm.”

Apparently, Yue could not detect sarcasm, because she just smiled and hugged Azula. “Great, I’ll see you then. Have a good night!”

“Yep, good night,” Azula said as she watched Yue leave the car and close the door. Once she was alone in the car, she closed her eyes and sighed. There was no way she was going to survive this contest. Her self-control was amazing, but dating Yue was killing her.

“Good morning.” Ty Lee opened the door with a singing voice. She was in such a good mood after doing all her necessities.

Azula glared at her as she poured milk into her coffee.

“So, is our friend up yet?” The bubbly woman said, heading over to the window.

“She’s not there. She’s doing laundry.”

“Oh. So, did you make it through the night?” Ty Lee asked

Azula brought the coffee she was drinking down. “Yes. I’m proud to say I did. I am still the master of my domain. But I will tell you this. I’m going over to her apartment and telling her to put her blinds down!” She said as she walked towards the window.

“Are you insane?! I mean poor choice of words, but are you out of your mind?!”

“She’s driving me crazy!  I can’t sleep, I can’t leave the house. I’m stuck in my own devices with that temptress. Meanwhile, I’m dating a virgin, I’m in this contest, something’s gotta give!”

Ty Lee just stared at her friend. “Can you hear what you’re saying? This is a beautiful woman, walking around naked, and you want to tell her to stop? That’s not the Azula I know. The Azula I know would take advantage of this situation for her own good. She would not give up.”

Azula rolled her eyes. “I’m not giving up. There’s just no point in making this even harder than it has to be. Now get out of my way, I’m doing it.”

The bubbly friend stopped Azula in her tracks. “You can’t. Please don’t do it, for my sake. God knows I don’t ask you for much! Please!” She begged. 

Azula looked at Ty Lee with a straight face while her friend gave her those sad puppy dog eyes. With a groan, she turned around. She was such a great friend, too great for her own good.

Ty Lee smiled and hugged Azula tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Please don’t touch me right now.”

“Sorry.” She smiled and headed towards the window.

“She’s not there!”

Ty Lee crossed her legs. “Oh, I can wait.”

“So the nurse was giving her a sponge bath?”

Azula and Zuko sat opposite each other at Batu’s. They were sharing some mozzarella sticks as an appetizer, waiting for their order to come.

“Every night at 6:30.” Zuko nodded. “The nurse was gorgeous. Then I got a look at the patient. She was like something straight out of a Victoria's Secret show.”

“Is that so? I guess I should give our mother a visit then.”

“She has been asking when you’re coming.”

“I’ll surprise her then.” Azula sipped from her coffee. “Now, I must ask. Are you still master of your domain?”

Zuko smirked. “King of the county. You?”

“Lady of the nation.”

The door to the diner opened and in came Mai with her ever-serious face. She approached the table and sat next to Azula.

“Ruon Jian.”

“What?” Azula asked.

“He was in my aerobics class,” Mai smirked.

“Really? Did you talk to him?”

“You don’t understand. He was working out in front of me. Then, after the class was over, I met him in the lobby. He was taking an Uber and I said that my phone was dead, so he offered to share the car since he was going uptown.”

“But you live downtown.” Zuko frowned.

“I didn’t tell him that. So, I got in the car and kept my cool because I didn’t want to scare him off. Then he asked me where I lived, and I said close to your block ‘cause we were close.” Mai said, pointing and looking at Azula. “So he dropped me off in front of your building.”

“How’d you get back to your house?”

“Well, I took an Uber back home.”

Zuko tilted his head. “But I thought your phone was dead.”

“She lied about that Zuko. Keep up.” Azula rolled her eyes. “The question is, are you still master of your domain?”

Mai smirked. “I’m Queen of the castle.”

“You’re here!” Ursa smiled from her bed as she saw Azula enter through the door.

Azula looked at her mother with a weird look. “Of course I’m here. Why wouldn’t I be? My mother’s in the hospital, it's only natural that I’m going to visit.”

“I’m so glad you could make it.” The older lady smiled at her daughter. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“You’re my mother. What wouldn’t I do for you?”

“You know what you could do? I haven’t eaten lunch or dinner. I can’t eat this hospital food. Maybe you could run down to the deli and get me a sandwich?”

Azula smiled at her mother. “Of course mother. A little later.”

She sat down in the chair next to her mother, patiently scrolling through social media on her phone.

“Could you go now Azula? I’m very hungry.”

“Wait a little mother, what’s the difference?”

“Why can’t you do this for me?”

Azula replied without looking up from her phone. “I just got here! I want to spend a little time with you before you throw me away. Is that a sin?”

“But if you wait they won’t let you back in. Visiting hours are almost over.”

“Ten minutes. Here,” Azula reached into her purse and threw a packet of mints to her mother. “Have some Tic Tacs.”

Ursa grabbed the Tic Tacs and then looked angrily at her daughter. “Just leave. I’m sorry you came.”

Azula sat down as the nurse came in with all the bath supplies. Apparently, Zuko wasn’t kidding, she was very hot.

“6:30, time for your sponge bath.”

The patient moaned and began to take off her shirt. Azula just stared at the shadows in the curtain, happy to see that her plan had worked out. This was the closest to action she was going to get if she kept dating Yue.

“Azula. I’m hungry!” Ursa complained at her side.

“Just wait a little more Mother. Just wait.”

Mai entered the gym slowly, her eyes scanning her surroundings. As she looked around, she noticed a certain lack of Ruon Jian. Maybe he was in the locker room.

“Did you get your hair done today?” Suki asked as she folded some clothes. The stoic girl was wearing her hair down, yet it had more volume than before. It also shone even in the gym’s dim lighting.

“No, I just fixed it a little bit,” Mai answered, glancing into a mirror and correcting her bangs.

“You-know-who isn’t here. He was in the early class today.” Mai looked at Suki, noticing that the woman had a small grin. “But, I think you made quite an impression on him yesterday.”

“Me?”

Suki rolled her eyes. “Yes, you. He asked about your situation.”

“My situation? You told him I don’t have one, right? Me and Zuko are broken up and I’m not talking to anybody. There is no situation.” Mai said with a straight face but a faster pace in her wording.

“I told him you were single. He said you were just his type.”

Mai glared at Suki. “If this is a joke, I am going to stab you.”

“He told me that he’ll be in your neighborhood tomorrow at around 9 o’clock, so he’s going to stop in front of your building if you want to come down and say hello.”

“You swear this isn’t a joke?”

“Why would I lie to you about this? I’m rooting for you. You deserve to be happy for once.”

“Thank you Suki.”

“Just invite me to the wedding.”

“Alright Father, I’ll talk to you later. Remember to take care of Mother when you come back.” Azula said over the phone. She was sitting on her couch, watching Kung Fu Panda. It was the only thing she could watch that could keep her mind away from her urges. Nothing about a fat panda mastering Kung Fu would make her hornier than she already was.

She hung up the phone and turned to Ty Lee, who was sitting beside the window, looking outside.

“To think that one day my fantasy was going to become reality.” Ty Lee said. “Maybe I should walk around naked in my apartment. You know, to pay it forward.”

“You should sleep with me if you want to be a good Samaritan,” Azula said, turning back to watch her movie.

The bubbly woman rolled her eyes. “I would help you out, but you’re in a relationship.”

“With a virgin!”

“That was your bad.” Ty Lee shrugged. “Look, Azula. Yue is a wonderful girl. Just be patient and things will go your way.”

Azula just rolled her eyes and continued to watch her movie. Since when was a tiger hot?

“Why don’t you buy some real bread?” Zuko said, closing the cabinet door much too harshly. He was in a bad mood. It had been around a week since he had helped relieve himself, and with no prospects of sleeping with anybody, his irritability had increased tenfold. “What’s with this keto shit.”

“Some of us want to keep a lean figure.” Azula bit right back. “And it’s gluten-free, so it helps with my skin. You know since some of us can afford the luxury to think about the skin in our face.”

The buzzer sounded before Zuko could insult her back.

“Yeah?” Azula yelled at the intercom.

“It’s Mai.”

“Come on up!” She pressed the buzzer and opened the door.

“Where did you get that shirt?” Zuko asked, pointing at the T-shirt Azula was wearing.

She crossed her arms. “At Uniqlo.”

“Liar. That’s my shirt!”

“How is this your shirt?”

Zuko stepped forward. “I don’t know, but I know for a fact that is my shirt. I had the same shirt with Mikasa from Attack on Titan, and now suddenly I don’t have it anymore.”

“That is ridiculous. If I were to steal one of your shirts, it would have Levi.”

“That’s my shirt!”

“It’s mine!” By now, the siblings were nose to nose, preparing to attack each other viciously. Looking at each other, they both came to the realization of what they were doing, and backed off.

“What are we doing?” Zuko asked.

Azula sighed. “We always argue, but it’s been a long time since we almost fought. And over a shirt.”

“And your skin comment.”

“Right,”

Silently, Mai walked into the apartment and placed some money on the counter. Zuko and Azula widened their eyes and stared at their friend, who was looking down with a straight face, but her cheeks were red from embarrassment.

“You caved?” Zuko asked, jaw dropped.

“Oh my god, the Queen is dead.” Azula crossed her arms. “What happened?”

Mai sighed. “Ruon Jian.”

“Ah,” Both Zuko and Azula said at the same time. Now it all made sense.

“But you made it through the days before,” Azula said.

The stoic girl nodded. “Yeah, but yesterday he told Suki that he wants to meet me outside here at 9:00 tonight.”

“Why outside here?” Zuko asked.

“Because he thinks I live here. Remember when I took that Uber?”

“Well brother, it looks like it’s you and me. How it was always meant to be. I’m sorry it has to end this way.”

“No you’re not.”

Things were getting pretty heated on the couch. Azula had Yue pressed against her, as the white-haired woman straddled her. She kept her hands on Yue’s hair, trying to keep the ex-Mormon to give in to her desires.

They separated a little, and Yue spoke. “Let’s go in the bedroom.”

Azula’s eyes widened. This was her chance. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, a smile on her face.

“Yes.”

“You really want to?”

“I do. I’m ready.”

“Okay,” Azula said, beginning to stand up.

Yue touched Azula’s arm, which only made Azula more excited about what was about to happen. “I know how difficult this must have been for you.”

“Oh,” Azula chuckled. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“What do you mean?” Yue asked, chuckling a little.

“Well, it’s kind of silly, but my friends and I made a contest about who could go the longest without, you know…”

“Without what?”

“Masturbating. And let me tell you it has been pretty rough. But, after today, I think I’ll be able to win the contest”

Yue’s demeanor changed completely as she separated herself from Azula. There was anger in her eyes, and Azula did not know why she had changed so suddenly.

“Contest? A contest! This is what you do with your friends.” The white-haired woman said, putting on her coat.

Azula walked towards her. “Well, no, it was just a bet. It actually started when Zuko was doing it in front of our mother—”

“I don’t want to hear another word!” Yue exclaimed. “And to think how much I came to you being the one. I must’ve been out of my mind.”

Yue reached for the door and left, leaving Azula at a loss for words.

Downstairs, Mai stood waiting for Ruon Jian to appear. She had been waiting for about twenty minutes, losing hope with each passing second. It seemed that Suki had actually made her the butt of the joke.

As she waited, she saw Yue come out of Azula’s building and hail for a taxi.

“Yue. Hi.” She said, starting a conversation for once in her life.

“I don’t want anything to do with you or your perverted friends.”

“What?” Mai asked, making the mistake of touching Yue’s arm.

“Get away from me! You’re horrible, all of you!” Yue exclaimed, walking away from a confused Mai.

“What happened?” Mai asked Azula as she entered the apartment.

“I told her about the contest.” She replied, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, that’s it? She’s weird.”

“You can take the person out of the Mormon, but never the Mormon out of the person.” Azula shrugged her shoulders.

The door opened and Zuko came inside. “Hey, what happened? I thought you were meeting Ruon Jian.”

“He didn’t show.”

“Yeah he did.” Zuko said. “He was out there talking to Yue.”

Azula turned to face him. “Yue?”

“Yeah, you know, she was crying and he was consoling her, and then she got in his car and they drove away.”

Mai stared at Zuko with her jaw dropped. “He left…with Yue the Virgin.”

“Yeah. They drove away.”

Azula looked out the window for a second, and good thing she did. She could not believe her eyes.

“Oh my god,” She said as she approached the window. From behind her, the other two got closer and Mai let out a surprised gasp.

“No way…”

“Ty Lee?!” Zuko asked, surprised to see his friend in the naked girl’s apartment.

“At least one of us is getting some action tonight.” Azula scoffed, leaving the window and locking herself in her bedroom.

Chapter Text

“I don’t want to live.” A woman cried in the car, facing her boyfriend. She was distraught at what he had just told her, feeling her whole world crashing down. “I don’t want to live!”

Zuko stared at her in confusion. “Because of me? You must be joking. Who wouldn’t want to live because of me? I’m nothing! Even my father said so.”

“No. You’re something.”

“You can do better than me.” The scarred man shook his head. “You could throw a pebble out the window and hit someone better than me. I’m no good.”

“You’re good. You’re good.”

“I’m bad. I’m bad.”

The woman faced forward and threw her hands down, startling Zuko. “You’re killing me!”

“So what could I do? I couldn’t go through with it…she threatened to kill herself!” Zuko whined at Batu’s, sitting with Mai and Azula in their designated booth. His sister was looking at her phone and texting, while Mai was actually paying attention to her friend.

“Over you,” Mai said sarcastically.

“Yes, why? Is that so inconceivable?”

“Well…”

Azula rolled her eyes and spoke up without looking up from her phone. “Please Zuko, tell me you aren’t that naïve. Threatening to kill oneself is a classic manipulation technique.”

“But what if she does kill herself because of me?”

“Why would you want to date someone like that? She’s clearly not sound of mind if she wants to keep dating you. And on the off-chance that she does kill herself, then I guess you dodged a bullet.” Azula shrugged before putting her phone down. “I love canceling plans at the last minute.”

“You had plans?” Mai asked

She nodded. “Yeah, I was supposed to meet up with this girl who does these street interviews. She wanted to get to know me before interviewing me.”

“I thought those interviews were just with people they met randomly on the street,” Zuko said

His sister rolled her eyes. “That would be boring. It would take them hours to find somebody worthy of a 3-minute long TikTok interview by just asking every moron walking on the street. By asking people like me for an interview, it not only guarantees views but also increases their social ranking. So, me being the good Samaritan I am, decided to help her in her work.”

“Good Samaritan my ass. You don’t do anything that doesn’t directly benefit you.” Mai said. “She’s hot, isn’t she?”

“…she may be very physically appealing.”

“Then why did you cancel?” Zuko asked.

“I’m not in the mood to meet people today.” Azula shrugged. “Besides, she hasn’t seen me in person yet, so I want to be in my peak fertile window. Scientifically, that’s when I look best.”

“Hasn’t seen you? Gotta envy that.” Mai sighed, earning a chuckle from Zuko.

Azula frowned. “You know, you’ve been developing quite the acid tongue lately.”

“Maybe…” She drank from her tea. “What would you do if a genie gave you a wish, but you can’t directly ask for money, more wishes, or more genies.”

Zuko looked down. “I’d ask for my father to love me.”

“Pathetic. I’d ask for every blind person to experience 3 days of vision.” Azula smirked.

“Only three days?”

She nodded. “Yes. That way they get used to it and believe it’s not a dream, but a miracle. Once those three days are over, they return to their blind states. Devastated, they will wish to find a cure and a way to experience vision again, yet the only way to do it is by paying me $150 a month for the rest of their lives, which will increase by 3% every year. At one point, they must keep paying me because they can’t imagine living their lives in blind ignorance ever again.”

Her two friends just stared. It wasn’t uncommon for Azula to be evil, that was one of her personality traits after all, but sometimes they would forget just how messed up she was. It made sense why she had gone to the mental institution, even if it wasn’t exactly for those machiavellian traits.

“I could also make certain levels of payments. So people who only pay $100 pay get only one eye with sight, or perhaps at a 5/20 vision.”

Mai pushed her lips together and nodded, while Zuko just stared at his sister in bewilderment. The stoic woman then noticed the girl sitting beside Azula and Zuko leaning slightly back.

“Hey, come here.” She said in a whisper, which made the siblings lean forward towards her. “Those two girls behind you are eavesdropping on us.”

“Really?” Zuko asked.

Mai nodded and leaned back. “You know,” She began saying loudly. “Just because you two are siblings, so what? You two should just tell the world what really goes on behind closed doors.”

Zuko looked mortified, while Azula smirked at his embarrassment. “So, what do you say?” She asked, facing her brother. “You know you’ll be the only man, hell, the only person I’ll ever love.”

“What is the matter with you?” Zuko hissed.

“You’re no fun.”

“I just don’t want people thinking that. Enough already do.”

Mai crossed her arms. “Now that you mention it, people ask me that about you too.”

“Yeah, because I’m single, have daddy issues, and have a close relationship with Azula.”

“But Zuko,” Azula moaned, putting a hand on her brother’s thigh, “You know it feels so good when you take your tongue and—”

The scarred man stood up quickly. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“I’ll be waiting.” Azula bit the air, making Zuko blush in embarrassment and walk away quickly.

Azula was taking some groceries out of the bag when her apartment door opened with Zuko making an entrance. He was wearing a sweatshirt and shorts, while his head was wet with sweat.

“You stink.”

“I just thought of a great name if I ever become a porn star,” Zuko said, ignoring his sister and taking a seat in a highchair.

“What? Adolf Titler?”

“No! That’s so…no. It’s Ben Dover.”

“Original,” Azula said sarcastically.

“Better than Adolf Titler,” Zuko muttered. “Anyways, let me ask you something, and be honest. What do you think of this sweatshirt?”

Azula looked up from storing the groceries and scanned her brother. The sweatshirt overall was nice, but then her eyes caught up with some anime characters on the bottom. Now, Azula wouldn’t consider herself an avid anime watcher, but unfortunately, being raised with Zuko left her with no choice but to be knowledgeable about many shows in that genre. And even worse, she knew what anime the characters on the sweatshirt were from.

“Well…aren’t those two characters sibling lovers?”

Zuko groaned. “Ugh, I knew you would recognize them.”

“Why would you wear that?”

“Ginger bought it for me.”

“So she really is mentally disturbed.” Azula chuckled. “How are you going to get out of that one?”

“I don’t know. I guess I have to wait for her to die.”

The sound of a text notification interrupted their conversation. Azula looked at her phone and read the message.

“Sorry, I gotta go do the interview. Do you want to come watch?”

Zuko raised his good eyebrow. “You want me to come?”

“No, I was just being nice by offering. But you can’t stay here and stink up my apartment.”

“Alright fine, I’ll go.”

The siblings left the apartment and headed down the stairs. The meeting point was a park just outside the building, which was very convenient for Azula since she didn’t want to have any hassle when it came to bringing a girl into her apartment. Efficiency was always key.

A pretty, young, brown-haired, and blue-eyed woman was sitting by a bench, patiently waiting for her interviewee. As soon as she lifted her eyes, the woman smiled and stood up, walking forward to meet up with Azula. Her eyes trailed behind her subject and saw Zuko, who was standing awkwardly.

“H-hi, I’m Kirima.” The woman said, bringing her hand forward to shake Azula’s.

“Hey. I’m Azula. Dum-dum, introduce yourself.”

“Hello. Zuko here.” The man with the scar said, lifting his hand as a greeting.

“Nice to meet you.”

Kirima stared at Azula and then at Zuko, seemingly petrified by what she was seeing.

“Is something the matter?” Azula asked.

“N-no! Everything is good. Do you want to sit down?”

“Yes, of course. I invited my brother to watch the interview, I hope you don’t mind.”

“That’s perfect!” Kirima said. “I’d actually like to talk to him too.”

“Oh…okay.” Azula frowned. This wasn’t going the way she expected. “I’m sorry if this sounds weird, but you smell familiar. Do you use any special fragrance?”

“Not at all,” Kirima answered while setting up the tripod so the bench could be seen to full capacity.

“Huh. I swear I’ve smelled your scent before.”

“Azula stop talking like a werewolf.” Zuko berated his sister, who just stuck her tongue out in a childish manner.

Kirima pressed the record button and then sat on the bench, next to Azula. Zuko then took his seat right next to his sister. He wasn’t expecting to be interviewed that day, so he was a bit nervous about the fact.

“Hello everybody, today is a very special day because we’re going to talk with Azula Higami, and her brother Zuko. Thank you so much for doing this.” Kirima spoke.

Azula casually raised her hand. “Don’t thank us. We are glad to help your platform grow. Aren’t we Zuzu?”

“Y-yeah.”

“That’s very nice to hear. Okay, so Azula. We know you’re a comedian who has found success with abrasive, sarcastic, dark, and some might say offensive humor. But, do you do something else besides that?”

“Well, I could say that my podcast and books are in the same realm as my standup career,” Azula answered. “But besides that, my brother Zuko and I are currently writing a Netflix show.”

“That’s great! So you two also work together.”

“Yes.”

“Azula is very hard to work with sometimes,” Zuko spoke up, making Azula turn to him slowly with murder in her eyes. “She’s a perfectionist who likes to keep everyone on their toes, but it’s for the best. I’ve learned how to calm her down, and she has learned to let other people be in control from time to time, even if she doesn’t like being submissive.”

Azula blinked. “What are you talking about? I let you run things as well.”

“Only a few times. Your dominating nature can get suffocating after a while.”

“That’s because you don’t know how to take control.”

Zuko scoffed. “Do you see the way she talks to me?” He told Kirima.

The interviewer smiled. “You should hear the way my girlfriend talks to me.”

Azula turned her head to face Kirima. “What?”

“Kirima, can you answer me something?” Zuko said. His shyness dissipated as soon as he opened his mouth during the interview. “What do you think of this sweatshirt?”

“It’s nice.”

Zuko shook his head. “Azula said she didn’t like it.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. I implied it was a curious choice of clothing, but not that I didn’t like it.”   

“So, when did your relationship change?” Kirima asked.

“What do you mean?” Azula asked

“Well, during our childhood, Azula was the worst sister ever. Everything you can think of when you think of an evil child, that was Azula.” Zuko began to say, earning an eye roll from Azula’s part. “But then, during puberty, it all began to change. We grew up and matured, and with it came the realization that we would always be there for each other. Sure, we insult one another and act as enemies, but at the end of the day we always make up in a way no other siblings can.”

“Do you two live together?”

“Live together?” Azula asked.

“No, I have my own place.”

“Do your parents know?” Kirima asked

Azula frowned. “Know what?”

“Our parents? They don’t know what’s going on.” Zuko laughed.

Azula furrowed her eyebrows as she took a look at Kirima, and with one sniff, she suddenly recognized why the smell was so familiar. Her eyes widened in realization.

“Oh God, you’re that girl in the diner that was eavesdropping us. I knew you smelled familiar!” She said in realization.

Zuko’s eyes widened and stood up. “Oh no. No!”

“I think it’s best if we leave this here,” Kirima said, standing up also and walking towards the tripod.

“There’s been a misunderstanding here,” Azula spoke up, walking towards Kirima. “We did that bit for your amusement. We knew you were eavesdropping. That’s why my friend said all of that. We’re not incestophiles.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Zuko said, always the progressive.

Azula turned to him. “Yes, there is. It’s immoral first of all, and it’s also illegal in 48 states.”

“But if it’s between two consenting adults—”

“Still illegal!”

“Look, I know what I heard,” Kirima said as she dismounted the tripod and put away the camera.

“Heard? It was a joke! You even said my sense of humor was abrasive and dark!”

“Hey guys!” A friendly and familiar voice said from not far away. Ty Lee always had a knack for having just perfect timing with her interruptions. She was getting closer as she waved towards her friends. “I was just going to text you. Do you guys wanna take a steam at my place?”

“No! No steam!” The siblings said at the same time.

“Oh come on! My sister Ty Lat is also going to join us. I don’t want to sit there naked with just her. It’ll bring us back to some weird times in Middle School…”

“This whole thing is your fault,” Azula told Mai after ordering a grilled cheese sandwich. “It was your idea to have Zuko and I act so unbecoming.”

“I didn’t put a gun to your head. You chose to act that way.”

“You know I always take the opportunity to annoy Zuko.”

“And look how that worked out!” Zuko yelled. “Now the whole world is going to think we do it.”

“She’s a small creator. After she refused to delete the video, I blocked her and reported her, so there’s no way for it to be linked back to me.”

Zuko and Mai stared at Azula, who had just acted like she discovered the Americas while in reality, she had just said the stupidest thing a person could ever say.

“You blocked her…”

Azula nodded. “Yes. Now she cannot tag me, so the video can’t be traced back to us.”

“The video with both of our faces and names.”

“…yes.”

“How can you be so smart and yet so stupid?” Mai genuinely asked

“Shut up. Like you had any better ideas.”

“I would’ve bribed her.”

“I tried! She didn’t want to take the money because she’s a real journalist.” Azula scoffed. “ Please, you have a street interview TikTok account.”

A silence settled on the table as the three friends felt various degrees of anger and uncomfortableness over the news.

“Hey, why are those two people pointing at you over there?” Mai spoke up, gesturing with her head at two guys on the counter. Just as she said, the two men were pointing at Azula.

“I don’t know,” Azula answered. She looked straight at the men and then pointed at herself. The men pointed at her once again and then took their phone and shook it. With confusion, Azula stood up from her seat and walked over to the two men. “What do you have there?”

“You’re trending on Twitter.” The random man said.

Azula frowned and took the guy’s phone, who happily obliged. “Azula Higami took ‘Keep it in the family’ way too literally.” “To be fair, Azula’s brother is scorching hot, no pun intended?!” She read out loud. “I’ve been outed…and not even for being gay!”

“And more importantly, for something that’s not real!” Zuko yelled.

“What will my followers think now? I’m a lesbian woman. I only sleep with other women. Not even trans women, only cis women with vaginas. They must feel like I’ve lied to them all this time by secretly sleeping with a man. Poor them.” Azula sighed as she gave the man his phone back.

“That’s what you care about?! Your followers?! The whole internet now thinks that we do it, and it’s not true!”

Azula sat on a chair, browsing her social media on her laptop while Zuko and Mai huddled together.

“This is insane. Seems like Azula only likes her carpet munched by her brother. Why is everyone forgetting about the part where Zuko talks about Azula being submissive? Why doesn’t everybody get a life.” Azula said as she read through all the tweets.

The door to the apartment then opened and in came Ty Lee with her phone in hand and a frown on her face.

“I thought we were friends.” She said.

“Here we go.” Azula sighed.

“I mean, how could you two keep this a secret from me? Am I not your closest bestest friend Azula?”

“It’s not true!” She stood up, getting closer to Ty Lee.

“Enough lying! The lying is through.” The bubbly woman said. “Come on Azula, the mascara is over. Yes, you sleep with dozens of women, but none of them ever last.”

“Like you.”

“Yeah.” Ty Lee short-circuited when she admitted it, but quickly dismissed the comment. “You can say whatever excuses you want, but the truth is that your heart is occupied by someone already. And that someone is Zuko.”

“You know what, believe whatever you want Ty Lee.”

“Oh, I will. The truth shall prevail.”

Just then, Azula’s phone rang and, for some absurd reason, Zuko picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Zuko?” The familiar voice of an older man said.

“Father?” Zuko grimaced.

“Oh my god, give me that!” Azula basically jumped her brother and took back her phone. “Dad!”

“If Father knows then… Mom!” Zuko yelled, taking his coat off the coat hanger and running off towards his mother.

“Dad, it’s not true.”

“I knew there was something wrong. I could understand when you had a crush on your cousin Lu Ten when you were a child, but this is completely different. If this had been 200 years ago, then there wouldn’t be anything wrong. But times have changed. And Zuko? Really Azula, you can do so much better.”

“But Dad it’s not true.”

“I told Ursa not to let you watch that weird leftist Mexican propaganda TV show when you were little. Don’t think I didn’t see you making drawings of the two cousins being in love.”

“This has nothing to do with Dora the Explorer.” Azula blushed as she remembered her weird childhood phase.

“You need to make this right. From now on, you have to stop doing your inappropriate acts with Zuko.”

“I don’t do anything with him!”

“Do not interrupt me!” Ozai yelled from the phone. “Contact that girl from the interview and make it right. Don’t disappoint me again.”

“Yes, father,” Azula said before hearing the line go dead.

She sighed and opened up her social media, typing Kirima’s name on the search tab, and unblocking her profile. With a sigh, she messaged the woman an apology and asked to talk things out. Hopefully, that would work.  

“I go on my phone to relax, and this is what I had to see?” Ursa said, lying in her hospital bed. Her back was still injured from having caught her son pleasing himself. “I fell right off the toilet. The nurse had to come and help me up. I was half naked!”

“It’s not true!”

“Every day is something new with you! I thought you couldn’t top yourself, but clearly, you love proving me wrong! How can you do that with your sister? That is not how your father and I raised you.”

“Of course, it isn’t, because it never happened!” Zuko yelled. “Mom trust me, I would never, in a million years, do anything like that with Azula.”

“At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re making porno films.”

Zuko looked at his mom with a bored expression. “Yes, I’m Ben Dover.”

“Who? Ben Dover? What does that even mean?” Ursa asked, and Zuko just shrugged her question away.

“Whatever.”

“I would expect Azula to advance you. You know how she’s sick in the mind.” Ursa said and her son sighed. It was common for Ursa to think of Azula as either an evil mastermind or a frail child with an uncurable mental disorder. No in-between. “But you should’ve stopped it. You’re her big brother, not her lover!”

“I’m not her lover.”

Ursa dropped her shoulders and sighed. “I thought you were dating that pretty girl, Ginger was it? What happened with her? Has she seen the news?”

“No, she hasn’t,” Zuko replied. A few seconds passed and with them, a wonderful realization came to Zuko’s mind. It was the biggest eureka moment of all the eurekas ever eurekad. “Oh my God.”

“What?”

“She hasn’t seen the news. When she sees it she’s going to think…” He stood up from his seat at Ursa’s bedside. “I’m out!”

He quickly grabbed his coat and left the hospital room, leaving Ursa perplexed about what had happened. She didn’t know what to make of the entire situation. It seemed almost impossible for her two children to be sleeping together. It was madness.

But perhaps it was a bit better than when they genuinely wanted to kill each other.  

“Yeah? So?” The woman asked as she finished the video of the interview. She faced Zuko, who just stared at her in disbelief.

“Yeah, so?” He repeated.

“Well, this is nice. You’re in a popular interview.” She innocently smiled.

Zuko furrowed his brows. “Don’t you see what the comments say? Don’t you understand what that’s implying?”

“No. What?” She kept smiling.

“I’m an incestophile!”

“What’s that?”

“I sleep with my sister! I’m sick. I’m very very sick.”

Ginger frowned. “You sleep with your sister?”

“Very much so. Every chance I get.”

She looked him up and down with her eyes narrowed. Zuko felt his breath stop as if his whole future depended on what this woman said next.

“I don’t believe it.”

Zuko sighed. “Fine. If you don’t believe me, ask Azula.”

“I will.”

“What do you mean you will?” Zuko asked. It couldn’t believe that a girl so…dimwitted could call him out on his bluff. “Y-you can’t do that. Azula is a very private person.”

She grabbed him by his collar and pulled him up close. “I want to hear it from Azula.”

Two women were kissing on the couch, their bodies pressed together. Azula’s hands held the other woman tightly, not even thinking of letting her go. It hadn’t taken long to convenience the other woman that she was as gay as they could be and that the statements said in the interview were nothing more than taken out of context.

“Oh, can you ever forgive me?” Kirima asked, separating herself from the kiss to ask that.

Azula sighed. “I don’t know.”

The woman then took Azula’s face in her hands and kissed her fiercely and passionately.

As they separated, Azula grinned a little. “Alright, I forgive you.” She relented.

“You know, the funny thing is, I was attracted to you immediately.”

“It’s nice to know you have functional eyes and good taste.” Azula nodded. “I guess I may have been attracted to you as well.”

That much was obvious. Azula had wanted to sleep with Kirima as soon as she saw her on TikTok. With a smile, both women closed in and began to kiss again, only for them to be interrupted by the apartment door opening.

“Azula, oh my God! What are you doing?!” Zuko yelled in a very badly acted manner. Next to him, his girlfriend Ginger stood in confusion.

“What?” Azula asked.

“You’re with a woman!”

“I know! What are you doing here?” She asked, danger slipping in her tone.

The scarred man looked towards his girlfriend, trying to see if she was still invested in what was happening. To no surprise, she was.

“I leave you alone for two seconds, and this is what you do?” Zuko moved forward, looking at Azula with wide eyes and motioning towards Ginger with his head. “I trusted you.” He motioned towards his girlfriend once again.

The golden-eyed woman stood up from her seat.

“Would you get the hell out of here?” She grabbed her brother and pushed him outside.

“What’s going on?” Kirima asked, standing up as well.

“Yeah, what’s going on?” Ginger asked as well, looking at Zuko as if begging him to confess to his lies.

“Tell her. Go on.” Zuko muttered, touching his sister’s arm.

“Tell her what?!” She broke free from his grasp and stepped backward.

“You know, about us.” Zuko touched her hair.

“Are you crazy?!”

“Come on.” Zuko tried to hug Azula, but the woman was trying very hard to get him off of her. “Tell her.”

“I’m not saying anything! Do you have any idea of what you’re saying?!”

“This is too weird. I’m leaving.” Kirima said, grabbing her coat and walking out.

Zuko stepped in front of the door. “Wait a minute! You’re the girl that did the interview. Tell her!”

“I’m out of here.” Was the only thing she said, sidestepping Zuko and stepping out the door.

“It’s not true!” Azula walked to the door and yelled at the corridor. To no avail, Kirima kept walking and ignored any words the famous comedian said. The golden-eyed woman turned to her brother with fury in her eyes. “You stupid idiot!”

“Oh, please don’t be upset.” He said while grabbing her hands, which she instantly shook off.

“Would you stop it with that stuff?” She yelled, stepping back as far away as she could from her brother.

“What’s going on?” Ginger asked, looking dangerously at Zuko.

“Alright, I’ll tell you the truth.” He grimaced. “I’m not in an incestuous relationship with my sister. My name is Ben Dover. I’m a porn star.”

Azula rolled her eyes and brought her left hand to her face, covering herself from second-hand embarrassment. She could not believe she was related to someone as pathetic as her brother. It was incredible how much of a loser he could be.

“Really?” Ginger smiled, grabbing one of Zuko’s arms and hugging him.

“Oh my god.” He groaned.

“Would you rather sleep with your clone or your sibling?” Mai asked. The four friends were sitting in the diner, a few days after the whole incest drama had ensued. Thankfully, Kirima had been nice enough to clarify the situation on her channel, and Azula addressed everything under the public eye. There were still some who believed the fabricated story to be true, but nothing could be done about those anomalies.

“Clone.” Both Ty Lee and Azula answered.

“Sibling,” Zuko answered at the same time, but was singled out by being the only one to answer that. The three girls stared at him in disbelief.

“Gross!” “Me?” “Really?” The three girls asked at the same time.

“What? I’m not gay!”

“Still! You would rather fuck Azula than yourself? That’s weird.”

“Being straight isn’t an excuse either. I would rather fuck myself than my younger brother.” Mai added.

“That’s different.”

“It's the same.”

“Whatever. I’m out of here.” Zuko stood up from his seat and left the diner.

Ty Lee smiled. “Wow, he has a short temper.”

“Sexual frustration will do that.” Azula shrugged.

“What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean.” She answered with an evil grin which made the two other women uncomfortable.

“Please, don’t elaborate.” Mai sighed.