Work Text:
Sid Phillips was skateboarding along the sidewalk with his headphones over his ears. He skated by a yard sale where something caught his eye. Sid halted his skateboard and turned off his Walkman, then removed his headphones from his ears. Sid spotted a few toys sitting on a small table. Perfect. He was looking for some new victims. He hadn’t had any new toys to ‘upgrade’ since giving his sister’s new Barbie doll what he called ‘plastic surgery.’ By ‘plastic surgery,’ Sid had melted the doll’s face and replaced all her limbs with plastic animal claws, making sure to fuse the limbs to Barbie’s torso so that Hannah couldn’t remove them.
Sid picked up his skateboard and walked over to the small table with the toys. He spotted a clown doll with a huge grin. Sid thought it looked rather weird. He would definitely need to take that doll home and ‘fix’ it. He looked over to see what the woman running the yard sale was doing. Sid waited until she was distracted and wasn’t looking in his direction. While the woman was busy collecting money from a couple customers, Sid quickly grabbed the clown doll, plus a Macho Guy action figure that was popular a decade earlier, as well as a teddy bear. Sid then hopped on his skateboard and fled with his new haul. Whether the woman saw him and tried to catch him, Sid didn’t know as he put his Walkman back on and began blasting some tunes. When he figured he was far enough away, Sid stuffed those toys into his backpack and then skateboarded all the way home.
As soon as he got to his house, Sid ran right up to his room with his new playthings. He tossed his skateboard to the side and threw his Walkman onto his bed. Sid then opened up his backpack to take a look at his new soon-to-be-victims. He eyed them with a sadistic grin on his face. Sid reached into the backpack and pulled out the smiling clown doll. He looked at the toy with a mixture of intrigue and revulsion. Sid tossed the toy onto the worktable in his room and switched on the light that dangled overhead. Sid then opened a toolbox and took out a dust mask. He pulled the dust mask on over his face and then leaned in menacingly close to the clown doll.
“Look at these teeth! You haven’t been brushing and flossing regularly, have you?!” Sid exclaimed, pretending he was an evil dentist. He then pulled over a box of latex gloves. Sid took a pair of gloves out and began putting them on. “Patients who don’t take care of their teeth need to be taught a lesson,” Sid said as tightened his gloves and then flexed his gloved hands in an intimidating manner. The kid then picked up a power drill and whizzed it in front of his patient. “Now, open wide and try not to scream too much,” Sid laughed evilly.
Sid placed the end of the drill on top of the clown doll’s mouth, then pressed his finger against the power button while using his other gloved hand to hold the doll firmly in place. The drill began boring into the toy’s plastic teeth. Sid felt his ‘patient’ required some intense dental work.
“This hurts you more than it hurts me, but don’t worry, I don’t feel a thing,” Sid laughed in a sadistic manner. If only he knew just how much that statement was true.
“I said no screaming!” Sid then shouted at the doll. If only the clown doll could scream, then he’d certainly be doing that at the moment. However, toys had to remain completely motionless in the sight of humans to not give away their secret.
The two other toys watched in horror at what Sid was doing to their companion. They shuddered in fear inside Sid’s backpack as they had a sinking feeling one of them would be next.
While Sid was busy with the clown doll’s dental treatment, Scud burst into the room and immediately started sniffing around in Sid’s backpack. The dog began growling at the toys inside.
“Scud! Don’t interrupt me while I’m in the middle of an important dental procedure,” Sid sighed. He put down the power dill and walked over to his backpack. He reached in and pulled out the teddy bear. He wiggled it in front of Scud’s face, then tossed it down the hall. The dog chased after the teddy bear. Once Scud had the stuffed animal in his jaws, he began tearing the poor thing apart. Sid used that time to shut his door and bolt it so that there wouldn’t be any more distractions. He then returned to the worktable where the clown doll still lay.
“Now, where were we? Oh, right,” Sid said in a menacing manner as he tightened his latex gloves and gave them a snap. He then took the drill once more in hand. “Let’s continue the root canal,” he said and resumed drilling as he gazed down at his ‘patient’ with an intimidating look in his eyes. Once all the clown doll’s teeth had been thoroughly drilled away, Sid then took a nail file and filed down the remaining parts of the clown doll’s smile. Sid then reached into a milk crate full of toys and took out a toy shark. With a screwdriver, Sid removed the toy shark’s plastic sharp teeth. With some work and a bit of glue, Sid managed to fit the shark teeth into the area where he had drilled out the toy’s original smile.
“There we are. Much better. Now, you’re a killer clown,” Sid said in a very satisfied manner and removed his latex gloves. He felt the clown looked much cooler and scarier with the shark teeth than it had with that dopey smile. Sid placed the clown doll on the shelf just as he was called down for dinner. He put his dust mask back in the toolbox and then left his room.
As soon as Sid was gone, the clown doll immediately broke down into tears. The Macho Guy action figure climbed out of the backpack and climbed his way up to the shelf to try and comfort his crying companion.
“Hey, are you okay? What did that kid do to you?” Macho Guy asked. The clown doll turned his head and startled Macho Guy with the shark teeth. He then went back to sobbing.
Macho Guy gave the clown doll a comforting pat on the shoulder. “We should try and get out of here while the coast is clear,” he said. He didn’t want to think about what horrors had befallen their teddy bear companion. It would likely just be the two of them that could make their escape. However, the clown doll didn’t budge. He was too traumatized by what just happened and too horrified by his new appearance. He wanted to make children smile, not scare them.
“Well, I’m going to find a way out of here. You can come if you want or you can stay here in the domain of that lunatic kid,” Macho Guy stated. He then hopped down and ran out the door that Sid had left open. Macho Guy stopped in his tracks when he saw the pieces of teddy bear strewn about the hallway. If Macho Guy had had a digestive system, he probably would have vomited. However, he had to psych himself up. He was a manly man. That was the purpose of his design. Macho Guy had to be tough. He looked away from the teddy bear carnage as he made his way to the stairs.
Just as Macho Guy approached the stairs, he heard the voice of his tormentor arguing with someone who sounded like a little girl. Macho Guy heard someone running up the stairs and quickly ran back into Sid’s room and dove back into the backpack. Sid quickly ran into his room and slammed the door shut.
“You suck, Hannah!” Sid shouted and bolted all the locks on his door so no one could get in. That meant no one could get out either. Sid walked over and flopped face-first onto his bed. Macho Guy looked up to see how the clown doll was doing. The clown doll was still sitting in the spot he was placed with those plastic shark teeth.
“I hate everyone!” Sid shouted into his pillow. After laying there for a moment, Sid turned his head and looked in the direction of his backpack. There was still one new toy that he hadn’t done anything to yet. It would give him something to pass the time. Sid got up and walked over to his backpack. He reached in and pulled out the Macho Guy toy.
“Oh, what is this? It appears we have captured one of the members of the resistance. We must make him reveal the locations of the other freedom fighters so that we can crush their forces. Permission to use the special interrogation methods, sir? Permission granted, soldier,” Sid stated as he began a different roleplay with the Macho Guy toy.
Sid then began slamming Macho Guy against the worktable. “Talk, I said! Talk!” Sid exclaimed. He then stared down at the toy. “Hmm, you think you’re so tough, do you? This is just the beginning,” he said with an evil laugh. He then took a glass of water that had been sitting on his nightstand and stuck Macho Guy’s head in it. Sid held the action figure in the glass for about half a minute before pulling him out.
“Are you going to talk now? No? Okay then,” Sid said and proceeded to dunk the toy headfirst into the water several more times.
After doing that, Sid then threw Macho Guy onto the worktable. “It’s no use, sir. We can’t get him to reveal the information,” Sid said while still in roleplay mode, “Don’t worry, soldier. He’ll still be of use for experiments by our mad scientist, Dr. Pain.”
Sid took the dust mask out of the toolbox once again and walked away while putting it on. He then walked back to the worktable as he adjusted the mask over his face. “Ah, what is this? You must be my latest test subject,” Sid said, now doing a different voice as Dr. Pain. He took a pair of latex gloves out of the box and began putting them on.
“These experiments will be extremely painful, but it’s all for the sake of furthering my scientific research,” ‘Dr. Pain’ stated while putting on his gloves. Sid then took his tools and began removing Macho Guy’s limbs.
“Let’s see what sort of creature I can turn you into,” Sid said with sadistic glee as he stared intensely down at the ‘test subject.’ Once all of Macho Guy’s limbs had been removed, Sid began sorting through a box of toy parts to see what things he could put in their place. Sid also plugged in a soldering iron that he would be using to attach Macho Guy’s new limbs.
After making his selections, Sid began attaching a rubber tentacle in the spot where Macho Guy’s left arm had been removed. Once the tentacle was firmly glued on, Sid then took the wheels and axle from a remote-control car and soldered them to Macho Guy’s leg sockets. Finally, Sid took the grapple of a toy excavator and attached it to Macho Guy’s right arm socket. Once he was finished, Sid unplugged the soldering iron and held up his new creation.
“The experiment was a success! Soon the world will know of my scientific genius! No one will be able to stop me! Ha, ha, ha!!” Sid laughed, still playing the role of Dr. Pain. Sid then placed the newly altered Macho Guy on the shelf next to the clown doll.
“That’s some good work, if I do say so myself,” Sid said as he looked at his new creations. He then removed his latex gloves and threw them in the trash. Sid also put his dust mask back in the toolbox. He was proud of the work he had accomplished with his newly found toys. He would keep them on display until he got bored with them.
A couple of weeks later, Sid had found some more toys to take apart and cobble together as frankensteinish creations. He looked up at the modified clown doll and Macho Guy on his shelf. He was about to take them down and toss them aside like his other discards, but then he suddenly had a roleplay idea. He still never cared much for that clown doll, even with its dental enhancement. As for the Macho Guy, Sid never had any particular attachment to it either. The boy took a sandwich press off the shelf (which he had acquired from an earlier yard sale in a very similar manner to how he had acquired those two toys). He placed it on the worktable and plugged it in. Sid then took the clown doll off the shelf. Once the clown doll was lying on the table, Sid put on his dust mask and a pair of latex gloves.
“You still haven’t made your payment for your new teeth,” Sid said, once more playing the part of an evil dentist as he snapped his gloves. He then leaned in closely and glared down at the clown doll. “Do you want to know what I do to patients who aren’t able to pay my very expensive dental bills?” Sid asked in a threatening manner. He then took the clown doll and placed it on the grill of the sandwich press. Once the press had heated up, Sid grabbed the handle and folded the top part of the press down onto the clown doll. The heat and pressure of the sandwich press started melting the toy.
“This is what happens when you don’t take care of your teeth,” Sid as the evil dentist said, then let out a triumphant laugh. The Macho Guy figure watched in horror as he witnessed the clown doll being transformed into a mess of plastic goo in the sandwich press.
Sid then turned and looked at the Macho Guy figure on the shelf. He had a sadistic smile under his dust mask. “I have special plans for you,” he said to the figure in an ominous tone.
A couple of hours later, Sid was ready to dispose of the Macho Guy figure that he had altered with different limbs. Sid put on a respirator mask that he had found in the basement. “I look so cool,” he said as he looked at himself in the mirror. Sid gave his reflection a thumbs up as he admired his appearance in the respirator mask.
Sid brought Scud out with him and tied the dog’s leash to the side of the shed. He didn’t want his pet getting anywhere he might get hurt. Sid placed the Macho Guy figure on the ground in the backyard and then brought out a can of hairspray and a lighter. Ever since Sid found out that a person could make their own improvised flamethrower with just those two items, many a toy found itself being torched.
“Sir! Dr. Pain’s creature has escaped and it is wreaking havoc! We need to destroy it at once!” Sid said, now pretending to be members of a military force, “Very well, soldier. Ready the weapons and wait for my command!” After removing the lid from the can of hairspray, Sid then approached the Macho Guy toy with the hairspray in one hand and the lighter in the other. Sid lit the lighter and held it in front of him. He then positioned the can of hairspray behind the lighter.
“Fire!” Sid commanded and then pressed his finger down on the aerosol trigger. The Macho Guy figure was soon engulfed in a flame that began burning and melting the toy.
After a moment, Sid stopped spraying to get a look at what the toy looked like now. “It’s still moving. Hit it again!” Sid exclaimed, then hit the toy with another round of fire. Eventually, the Macho Guy figure was nothing but a pile of burnt plastic and rubber.
“Good job, men! We’ve successfully stopped the dangerous creature. All in a good day’s work,” Sid said, playing the role a military commander.
Sid proceeded to bury the remains of the Macho Guy figure in the ground. He also scraped the goop that was the clown doll out of the sandwich press and dumped it in the trash. The remains of the teddy bear remained sprawled around the hallway until Sid’s mother eventually cleaned it up.
Sid then got to work on destroying or making ‘alterations’ to the newest collection of toys he found.
Sid would continue with his terror of toy torture right up until that fateful day when a toy sheriff changed his life and view of toys forever.