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Joining the military had been good for Soap, joining the 141 even better. It kept him out of his head and occupied, gave him an outlet for the boundless energy and need to think and do that coursed through his veins every moment of every day. But even his incredibly successful career with the military hadn’t been enough to fend off the bouts of… whatever it was… that seemed to follow him. It never happened during the height of stress, only when things finally calmed down and the weight of events settled on his shoulders would it make itself known.
It always started as irritability. He’d wake up feeling not right, his clothes felt weird, nothing sounded good to eat, training was a chore, and he couldn’t sleep. He'd get snappy with his friends, even get tense with Ghost, and torture the recruits with awful drills that Price would do a double take at. That feeling would grow and grow until finally he just gave in to it, spending half a day in his room curled up in his blankets crying.
It always felt like too much, he just wanted to stay in his room and nap, hide away from the world until the feeling passed.
Since he and Ghost got together, it had gotten a little easier to handle. He could go to Ghost during those first days and Ghost would give him orders, something he had to do, and it would help just a little. It took the edge off, having someone direct him around, but it was still there. What he really wanted was to surrender every decision over to his partner, to not have to worry about eating or working or training, just have his love take care of him wholly, even if only for a day.
They’d just gotten back from a very tense, very long deployment, successfully taking down the last of a human trafficking ring they’d been after for years. Price had given them at least a week off, after paperwork was done, considering they'd had no breaks in at least eight months. They had a job to do, sure, but Price wasn’t so cruel as to shove them into something again so soon. Even he had been craving time off.
So Soap found himself with nothing to do, his paperwork finally filed after almost two straight days in his office with breaks only to eat (if he remembered) and sleep (if he could.) He could feel that telltale prickle building in the back of his mind, caught himself fussing over which pen to use to sign his name (they were all the same kind of pen) or where he put his water on his desk. It wasn’t a good sign.
A knock on his office door pulled him out of his dreadful thoughts, looking up to see Ghost opening the door.
“Solid, Johnny? Knocked three times and you didn’t answer.” Soap frowned, looking at the clock. He must’ve spaced out for a good while because at least an hour had passed since he last looked at the clock.
“Sorry, lt. Just finished my paperwork.” He heard Ghost sigh as he walked into the office and made his way to the desk. Soap finished gathering all the papers and slipped them into their designated folder, tucking it safely into the drawer to be handed in the next day. When he looked back up, Ghost stood in front of his desk with his arms crossed, leveling him with a very blank stare.
“I haven’t seen you leave this room once in the last eight hours, Johnny.” Soap felt his face flush. Had he really not gotten up in that long? As if to prove Ghost’s point, his stomach growled. Soap deflated in his seat, looking up at his partner with the best puppy dog eyes he could manage. For a moment he thought it wasn’t going to work, but Ghost dropped his head into his hands and scrubbed them down his face.
“Up with you. We’re going to the mess to get you food and then you’re coming to my room and sleeping.” By the tone of his voice, there was no arguing with that. Those were orders, not a suggestion. With tired reluctance, Soap followed Ghost to the mess. Thankfully they had access to the fridges, considering their base wasn’t the biggest, and Ghost guided him into the kitchen. Soap wandered between the fridges for a good three minutes- opening one, staring, closing it, rinse and repeat. He’s considering making a dash for it when he feels Ghost’s arms wrap tightly around his waist.
“Want me to pick?” The question has tears burning behind Soap’s eyes but he pushes them down quickly. Nope, not dealing with that tonight. He’d probably be dealing with it tomorrow, anyway, if history has plans of repeating itself like it usually does.
“Yes, please.” He mutters, and Soap can hear how miserable he sounds even to himself. Ghost squeezes him reassuringly, it does help, and gently moves Soap to the side as he gets a container and fills it. He heats it up for a minute or so, making a note of how quiet Soap is, before taking him by the hand and leading him to his quarters.
Soap only comes back out of his thoughts when he’s gently herded onto the bed and handed the warm container of leftovers, opening it to find some sort of beef stew, mashed potatoes, and soft looking vegetables. It smells delicious. He takes the fork Ghost is holding out for him and takes a bite, finding it tastes just as good as it smells.
He lets himself be pushed further into the bed and shrouded with a soft blanket. It’s nice, letting Ghost fret about, making sure he’s comfortable, at least for now. They don’t risk spending the night in each other's rooms frequently, though with what Soap knows is coming tomorrow he wishes tonight would be one of the nights they do. He just… can’t bring himself to ask. He knows Ghost would say yes, especially if it’s because Soap is struggling with something. Who knows how many times Ghost has told him to tell him when he’s struggling. Easier said than done, though, even when the sugar sweet praise he gets when he does tempts him. Just this, he knows, is the one thing he can’t ask Ghost to help him with. Too ashamed of how weak he feels, the need to hide, like the world is much too big, much too scary to come out of the covers.
He lets himself savor the quiet evening time with Ghost instead of worrying, worrying won’t stop the inevitable. They curl up against one another in Ghost’s bed, Soap’s computer playing some show they’d said they would watch but end up too focused on the other to actually know what’s going on. When sleep starts to tug at his mind Soap forces himself to stand, stealing one last slow kiss from Ghost before resigning himself to his bedroom for the night.
Soap trudges his way to his quarters, not even bothering to turn on a light as he strips down, tosses a couple extra blankets onto his bed, and buries himself into them. It takes the longest time for sleep to come, and what sleep he does get is either restless or filled with nightmares.
A rough hand shaking him awake tears Soap out of what had to have been a nightmare, tears streaming down his face as he clutches to the blankets like it’s a lifeline. He can hear a voice talking to him but he can’t understand what they’re saying, still too panicked to really focus. He knows he’s hyperventilating but his thoughts are too hazy to do anything about it, trying to pick a thing to focus on and actually do something too large of a task for him.
Whoever the voice must belong to is pulling him out his blankets. He panics, not willing to be pulled out of the only safety he has, and the thought of Ghost flashes into his mind. The thought of his partner, big and strong and safe, tears a sob from his chest as he cries out for him.
“I’m here, love, look at me.” The combination of the words and a secure but gentle grip on his chin have him focusing just enough to see that in front of him is, in fact, Ghost. As soon as that processes, Soap launches himself out of his bed and into Ghost’s arms, knocking them both over in the process. He’s immediately wrapped up into those familiar warm arms, his strong grip, and Soap feels the barest hint of safety that draws even bigger sobs from his chest. Everything’s too much, too big and too loud and too scary, and he just wants to hide in Ghost’s hold until everything goes away.
Ghost isn’t sure how much time passes before Soap’s crying calms enough for him to be able to speak. He’d noticed how off Soap had been the day before, quiet and tired, and he’d woken up earlier than he needed to so he’d decided to check on Soap. Nothing had prepared him to find his boyfriend crying in his sleep. They all dealt with nightmares or night terrors but this was new, he’d never seen Soap cry in his sleep. He decided to take the risk of trying to wake him, knowing there was a good chance Soap would panic and start swinging.
He also hadn’t been prepared for the man to nearly jump out of his bed and into his arms, but here he was, gently rocking his partner in an attempt to calm him down. Soap’s face was buried in his chest as he sniffled, doing much better at taking breaths with Ghost’s guidance. He could feel Soap’s hand gripping and letting go of his shirt, toying with the fabric in his hand, so he finally loosened his grip a little. Soap looked up at him with wide, red eyes still rimmed with tears.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” Soap furrowed his brow, trying to find his words and shaking his head when he couldn’t. Odd, and concerning, but since Soap had calmed down significantly now he figured he could try and work out what was going on even with Soap struggling to talk. When he tried to stand them up, however, Soap just stayed sitting on the ground. He looked up at Ghost with the most pitiful look and for a split second Ghost’s heart shattered. He’d never seen Soap look so distressed. When he realized Soap was about to start crying again he sat back down and pulled Soap into his lap again, Soap immediately grabbing onto his sleeves.
“Alright, love, I’m here. Not going anywhere. Can we move to the bed?” Soap shook his head, curling back up into Ghost’s chest. He felt so small like this, practically hiding against him. Maybe that wasn’t too far from the truth.
“There’s blankets up there, though, love. We can get comfortable and then figure out what’s going on.” It took a moment of thought, probably processing what Ghost had said, before Soap hesitantly nodded. He made no move to get up, though, so Ghost just lifted him up and sat onto the bed with Soap still in his arms. He wrapped a blanket around them both and then leaned against the headboard, Soap’s head nestled into the crook of his neck.
“It’s ok if you don’t have words but we need to work out what’s going on here, ok Johnny?” He gave Soap a moment to process again, glancing down to see that he was deep in thought. His hands were working at Ghost’s shirt again so he decided to give it another moment before he pushed for an answer.
Slowly, with a flush rising on his cheeks, Soap looked up at him and mumbled something. His eyes welled with tears as he realized it was too quiet but Ghost hushed him.
“It’s ok, try again love, I’m listening.” He felt Soap’s hand tighten in his shirt at the term of endearment and made a note of that. The encouragement seemed to help calm the frustration and Soap was working himself up for a second attempt at talking. Ghost waited patiently, rubbing gentle circles across his back.
“Too big.” The words were a tad slurred but loud enough for Ghost to understand this time. He frowned. Too big?
“What’s too big, love?” Soap mirrored his frown, tugging on his shirt. He looked around the room, Ghost watching as his eyes stopped on his gear, the rickety desk in the corner and some work out equipment Soap had stored next to it. After finding it was just taking Soap some time to find the words he needed to respond, even if they were only a couple words, Ghost knew to give him time.
“Everythin’...” Ghost was sure he was going to cry, he hated the way Soap’s voice sounded so small and broken. He knew his partner had been feeling out of it yesterday but he had no idea it’d been affecting him this bad. He knew Soap always had a little crash after bigger deployments or missions, and he wondered if this always happened, just alone. He didn’t want to ask Soap any big questions, though, if he was this distraught. Instead, he took a deep breath and pushed all those thoughts away. His priority was Soap.
“That’s ok, love. I’m here now. You’re safe with me.” Soap nuzzled closer at the reassurance. Ghost took a moment to take stock of the situation. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on, though the way Soap was behaving gave him a couple ideas, but until he was in a better headspace to talk he couldn’t be certain.
Soap, for the time being, seemed perfectly content to just sit in his lap and mess with his shirt. He definitely needed a change of clothes, if not a shower, considering his shirt was still wet with sweat from the nightmare. It was still fairly early in the morning, a quick glance at the clock told him it was only 0716. Breakfast would still be available for a couple hours but he didn’t think Soap would be anywhere near ready to go out into the mess. Thankfully, though, they were starting their time off, so Ghost would be able to figure out a plan on how to tackle the day.
Despite having been panicked when he woke, Soap was almost happily entertained with the hem of Ghost’s shirt. He kept scrunching it up and then watching as the stitching expanded again. There was also a tag he kept messing with, which was doing nothing to dispel his running theory.
With Soap calm, it was time to put that theory to test. With a little hesitation Ghost reached out, replacing the hem of his shirt with his hand, watching the way Johnny happily grabbed onto his fingers. Ghost couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips.
“Baby, it’s time for breakfast. We gotta get up to shower.” Soap promptly shook his head, gripping Ghost’s hand tighter and pouting.
“No shower.” Oh was it hard to argue with those eyes, wide baby blues staring up at him from his arms.
“Need to, baby boy. We need you all clean for the day, yeah?” That little nickname seemed to do something, Ghost noting how Soap’s eyes widened just the slightest, mouth open in a silent gasp.
“If we get showered then we might even be able to ask the mess for some extra pancakes.” And oh that did the trick, because Soap didn’t have the biggest sweet tooth, but for some reason he absolutely adored pancakes. He didn’t put any syrup on them, just a little butter, but Ghost had definitely bribed Soap with pancakes on more than one occasion with a surprising amount of success.
Soap seemed to be about to agree but he hesitated, glancing down at Ghost’s hand that he was holding. He wrapped his hands around two of Ghost’s fingers and held them close to his chest. His cheeks were flushed again as he wiggled, frowning.
“Think I need help…” Ghost, although wildly thrown by the discoveries he’d made that morning, wanted nothing more than to kiss away the shame he heard in Soap’s voice. Soap had a tendency to resist help, despite being the first one to offer it to whoever was in need. Ghost thought it was more of a subconscious thing than self deprecation, but it was something he still struggled with.
“I’m so proud of you for telling me, Johnny. If it’s ok with you, I’m happy to help you with whatever you need.” He gave Soap time to process and smiled when his love nodded shyly, hugging himself closer to Ghost, if that was even possible.
“Ok. Let me get up and get our things together, and then we’ll walk to my room and shower there, alright?” Soap latched onto Ghost with both hands at that, but this time he made to stand as Ghost shifted. Thankful that Soap was now calm enough to stand and walk, he held his hand as they stood.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere, love, you’re staying with me. Want to pick out what you’re going to wear today?” Soap nodded again, not letting go of the death grip he had on Ghost’s hand but following him over to the dresser. With his one free hand Ghost grabbed a pair of boxers and then opened the drawer that held Soap’s pants.
“Pick out a pair of pants.” He instructed, and Soap did as he was told, humming quietly as he sorted through the clothes. He found the softest pair in there, large black sweats that used to be Ghost’s. He gave Soap a kiss to his temple and closed the drawer, opening the one with his shirts.
“Alright, time to pick a shirt.” If his choice of pants was anything to go by, Ghost was fairly certain he knew what shirt was about to be pulled out of the drawer. Sure enough, a large black shirt was tugged out from the bottom of the stack, the name “Riley” in big black letters across the back.
“Good choice, baby boy. Ready to go to my room?” Soap pulled on his hand, back in the direction of the bed, and without words that was as good of a request as Ghost was going to get. He followed Soap back to the bed and watched as Soap grabbed one of the blankets and wrapped it around his shoulders. He returned to Ghost’s side and nodded, their cue to make the short walk to Ghost’s room.
Luckily, no one was out in the halls in their part of the barracks this early, considering Price had threatened laps to anyone that dared interrupt his morning, and they were able to escape into Ghost’s room unseen. It was nice having an attached bathroom, however small it was, anything was better than communal showers. Tucked away into his room, Soap seemed to relax a little more. His grip on Ghost’s hand loosened a little, but still didn’t let go as he was led towards the bathroom. Ghost made do, though, more than happy to provide Soap the comfort he needed.
He gathered two sets of towels from the cabinet as well as the shampoo and conditioner he kept just for Soap, knowing his preference for more specific hair products. He convinced Soap to give him his hand back with lots of kisses, sitting him down on the counter. The shower was turned on and as Ghost waited for the water to properly warm up, he got everything ready. He placed all the soaps and shampoos into the little rack he had on the shower wall so everything was within reach, and hung up both bath towels right outside the shower. He put the two washcloths on the curtain rod and walked over to Soap.
“Alright, little love, ready?” Soap was blushing furiously, on the verge of tears again as he reached out for Ghost. He met Soap with open arms, wrapping him up in a safe embrace once more.
“Embarrassed.” He grumbled into Ghost’s neck, and Ghost pulled away. Tears were slipping down his cheeks again and he pulled at Ghost, trying to hide again. As much as he wanted to let Soap hide, he didn’t, taking his cheeks in his hands to guide his gaze up.
“Johnny, you’re safe with me. You can ask me for help with anything, and if you need help with your shower or your paperwork or sniper shots, you know I’m right here for you.” Soap sniffled rather aggressively but nodded, trying his best to take Ghost’s words to heart. He’d had quite a few talks with Ghost about how hard it was to ask for help, especially when he had such a difficult time identifying what it was he needed help with most of the time. But he’d known that morning, and Ghost had said he was proud of him, called him his baby boy and offered his help.
“Safe.” He parroted, and Ghost nodded.
“Safe.” Ghost gave him one last kiss on the forehead before pulling back.
“Are you comfortable with us both showering, or do you want me to stay dressed?” Ghost was happy to see Soap give it genuine thought, looking up before giving him a confident ‘both.’
“Alright, I’m going to get you undressed and into the shower and then I’ll join you, okay?” Soap hummed his agreement and slid off the counter, letting Ghost help him out of his sweaty pajamas. He shivered at the cold air of the bathroom but didn’t have much time to actually be cold before he was ushered into the soothing warm water of the shower. True to his word, Ghost followed soon after and found Soap putting his hand in and out of the stream of water close to the shower head, watching the way it spread out where his hand blocked its path. A little idea snuck into his head as he watched Soap mess with the water.
“Hair first, little love.” Ghost smiled as Soap grabbed his shampoo and handed it to him, seeing the first smile of the day on Soap’s face. He poured some of the sweet, fruit smelling shampoo onto his hand and worked a nice lather into Soap’s hair, feeling the man melt under his fingers. He guided him under the water and washed the bubbles out before moving to the conditioner, then switched places so he could do his own hair. He watched as Soap drew in the moisture, for once happy that his weird bathroom and shower had a glass wall.
He switched them around again to wash Soap, warmth blooming in his chest as he took care of his partner. They didn’t often get time to themselves, and rarely did they have the opportunity to spend so much time together like this without work at the edge of their minds. Despite the rough start to the morning, Soap was happy again, and Ghost was content to care for him and comfort him.
With the warm water running out and both of them clean, he ushered Soap out first and wrapped him in a towel before covering himself up. He took an extra hand towel to wipe down their arms and legs before tossing it over the shower rod.
“Blow dry or towel dry?” Soap bounced on his feet and pulled at his towel.
“Towel dry it is. Pants first, then hair, then shirt.” Soap nodded dutifully and tip-toed his way over to the counter, waiting patiently for Ghost to follow.
Ghost was certain his heart was going to stop at some point if he was going to have to watch his partner be this cute all day. Have to, as if it was a problem.
After a little help getting into his boxers and sweats, Ghost grabbed the hand towel from the shower and tossed it over Soap’s head, covering his eyes. The giggle that followed actually stopped him in his tracks, chest seizing as that glorious sound played over and over in his mind. He quickly pulled the towel back into his possession and found the brightest sunshine smile greeting him in the mirror.
“Silly boy.” He teased, unable to resist pulling Soap into his hold to squeeze him, earning another soft little giggle. After a little more messing around with the hand towel they were finally dressed and ready to depart for the mess. Before they made it to the door, though, Ghost stopped and turned to Soap, holding the hand that wasn’t permanently attached to his person.
“We’re going to be going out to the mess now, Johnny, I know you’re very happy with me here but I want to make sure you’re okay being around other people right now.” To Soap’s credit, he took a long moment to think about it. If Ghost was right, especially considering the previous events of the morning, while Soap wasn’t one hundred percent all there, it wasn’t in a way that took away his ability to make decisions. So, when Soap whispered a soft “‘S okay.” Ghost trusted him.
They walked into the mess hand in hand, Ghost silently thankful that there were very few people there, and when they got up to the counter he grabbed two trays for the both of them.
“Can you point at what you want for me?” Ghost barely even needed to ask because he was being dragged to the warm section, immediately being directed to the pancakes. Soap also pointed at the eggs and bacon, a nice well rounded breakfast.
“Can we get two orders of eggs, bacon, and pancakes? And possibly an extra pancake for both of those?” The lady happily gave them two extras each, to Soap’s excitement, and gave them their trays back with their breakfast. Ghost grabbed them both and watched as Soap trailed over to where the drinks were, staring the fridge down with intense contemplation. He was surprised to see Soap go for milk, and looked to his face to see a little frown settled on his lips.
“Do you not want the milk?” Soap shook his head but went to place it on the tray anyways. Ghost huffed, leaning over the fridge to see what their options for the day were.
“Orange juice or apple juice?” Soap looked at him, brow furrowed in confusion.
“Special breakfast isn’t complete without juice, love, which one would you like?” The return of Soap’s smile eased the worry that had built. Nothing had really been wrong, Soap had probably just thought Ghost was going to make him get milk to offset the sugary pancakes.
“Apple, please.” Ghost grabbed two cups of apple juice, one on each tray, and guided Soap over to a table at the back of the mess. There still weren’t a lot of people there which was nice, but with Soap in this kind of headspace, Ghost really didn’t want to risk having to interact with anyone other than their team.
Soap settled down easily enough, rocking in his seat a little as he watched Ghost put his breakfast down in front of him. As he reached for the silverware, though, he froze. That frown had returned.
“Need help?” When Ghost kept his voice calm and casual, it eased Soap’s anxiety. He could let Ghost help him, he didn’t have to force himself to do things that felt too big or too hard, Ghost hadn’t said anything about him causing any trouble or problems that morning, but he couldn’t help the fear and guilt that crept into the back of his mind. He was a soldier, eating his breakfast shouldn’t feel like such a difficult task.
But then Ghost was sliding the tray over and cutting up the pancakes, nice little bite sized pieces, and holding out a bite on the fork for him. He paused, searching Ghost’s face for any hint of judgment or teasing, but just found a soft smile and love in his eyes. A little hesitantly, he leaned forward and opened his mouth, taking the offered bite.
The pancakes were warm and soft, with just the slightest hint of butter like he always had them. Usually he ate them with coffee, the sweetness a wonderful pairing with the bitter but rich flavor of the coffee. But this morning Ghost had let him indulge, and he reached for the cup of juice. He almost knocked it over, letting out a little yelp as he steadied the cup. A warm hand covered his own, guiding him as he picked up the cup to take a sip. It tasted fresh and sweet.
Ghost alternated bites of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, letting Soap pick up his cup for sips in between once he seemed to get a hang of grabbing it. It was curious, watching the man struggle with small tasks like grip or dressing, and how easily he handed the responsibility over to Ghost. While he did seem a touch frustrated, like when trying to grab the cup of juice, he trusted Ghost to help him when he needed it. It felt good having Soap let him take care of him like this. It made him feel needed.
Breakfast passed by quietly, which Ghost was still trying to get used to, but it was nice and peaceful. Soap was happy to munch on the food Ghost held out for him, inching closer and closer to him as the meal went on, practically in his lap by the time they were done. Soap helped him clean up, stacking the trays and the plates neatly, carrying them slowly to where dirty dishes went.
“Ok baby boy, we need to go back to my room for a minute so I can send Price an email, but then we have plenty of free time to ourselves. Would you like to do something inside or outside?” Soap had latched back onto his hand almost immediately after putting the dishes down, letting Ghost guide him back to his quarters. He was quite for a while, Ghost almost repeated his question before he felt Soap tug on his hand.
“Inside. Wanna stay with you…” Soap’s soft voice warmed Ghost, adoring the way he clung to him. Before Soap, he’d detested any kind of contact from other people, but after seeing the way Soap thrived on the contact, the way he looked at Ghost with wonder and awe in his eyes when he relented to Soap sidling up to him in the helo or the mess, he couldn’t bear to tell him no. Had grown to look forward to the way Soap looked at him like he was everything.
“We can stay inside, but I’m not going anywhere, love. You’re stuck with me today.” Ghost pinched his side lightly and Soap giggled. The man squeezed his hand, staring down at where their fingers were laced together. He smiled again, looking up at Ghost with those baby blues.
“We can watch a movie, play some games, read? What do you want to do?” Soap hummed thoughtfully.
“Read?” Ghost nodded, immediately realizing that all his books were non-fiction and not the easiest reads. He didn’t want to overwhelm Soap with difficult topics, especially when this whole thing seemed to be caused by stress. They entered Ghost’s quarters and locked the door behind them, Ghost didn’t want anyone bothering them, and Soap wandered over to the bookshelf. He was running his fingers along the spines of the books, pulling one out occasionally just to put it back.
Ghost joined him, reading the titles printed on the spines. He found his section of informational books, topics ranging from weapons to nature, and found one about space.
“What about this one?” He asked, holding it out for Soap to investigate. Wide eyes passed over the words on the back, whether he read them or not Ghost had no idea, before nodding and pulling Ghost to the bed. They flopped down on the covers and got comfortable, Soap curling up into Ghost’s lap.
“This one’s all about space. Get comfortable and I’ll start at the beginning, ok?” Soap nodded again, grabbing the blanket he’d brought with him and covering them with it, tucking the edge neatly under their legs. He settled down, nuzzling into Ghost’s chest, eyes now trained on the book.
It was a shorter one, a bit bigger in size with some pictures scattered in the pages. It was an introduction to astronomy, some of the basics of the physics, science, and math involved. Of course Soap had been eager to read this one, he loved physics. Ghost started the first chapter and watched as Soap hung onto his every word, sometimes pausing him by tapping on the page by something he had just read. It took a couple tries to figure out that this meant Soap wanted him to repeat it.
It felt fitting that even as tired and drained as Soap must have been to hit a headspace like this, he still wanted to learn, probably saw the word physics and latched onto it. A good hour or so had to have passed before Ghost realized Soap was asleep, curled against his side, peaceful. The man couldn’t have gotten any quality sleep in the past couple of days, and he had no intention of disturbing the nap. Belatedly, though, he realized he’d forgotten to send an email to Price.
He pulled out his phone, happily resigning himself to typing on the little screen if it meant Soap would stay asleep. He told their Captain where to find the hard copies of Soap’s paperwork, and that they’d likely be hard to find this week during their leave. Ghost wasn’t sure how long Soap would be in this headspace, whether it would last the week or he’d be out of it by the time he woke up. Not that it mattered, he would be there to care for Soap regardless.
Ghost took the opportunity to open up the web browser on his phone and do a little research. He’d heard the term ‘regression’ once or twice in passing, and the word had popped into his head when Soap had been upset about everything feeling ‘too big.’ He had a suspicion that was exactly what Soap was experiencing.
His research told him that regression could be a trauma response or stress reaction. It was likely to happen as a way to get away from stressful or traumatic events to cope with them easier, like giving the mind a break. Some sources said that people could regress to different ages, which had Ghost considering where Soap was at. He’d been able to verbalize what he wanted well enough but struggled with actually getting the words out. He could tell Soap had been experiencing a little difficulty with finer motor skills but would probably have been able to manage on his own, not that Ghost had any intention of ever letting that happen. The sources also said that regression could be voluntary or involuntary, and Ghost was leaning towards Soap’s regression being involuntary with how distressed he had been that morning.
Eventually Ghost realized that Soap was probably out for the count, having finally had a good, proper meal and the opportunity to safely fall asleep. Ghost shut off his phone, if the Captain needed them, he had a key to their doors, and carefully adjusted himself and Soap so they were tucked under the covers of the bed. He knew they’d have to have a conversation about this, but until then, he was more than happy to hold Soap safe in his arms, closing his eyes as he joined Soap in his rest.