Fanfic is the Best Medicine

With the second chapter of his latest fake mascot marriage masterpiece pending publication and ridden with misspellings, Normal Oak is in desperate need of a beta reader. Luckily, a fellow San Dimas High School Teen takes interest: Hermie Unworthy, an apparent drama prodigy Normal has somehow never met. Through their subsequent email exchanges, Hermie proves to be the perfect beta... but is he really just in it for the love of the fic?

Chapter 1: Sept. 24

Notes:

This is a multimedia fic that relies entirely upon CSS work skins and HTML. It reads better on desktop, but it should look mostly the same on mobile (except some elements might look squished, and some fonts might be different). If you are able, I HIGHLY recommend keeping ‘Creator's Style’ on! However, the fic should still technically be readable if you choose to ‘Hide Creator's Style’ for accessibility reasons, although it won't look very nice.
This fic is just meant to be silly and fun! Hope you all enjoy ^_^

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Normal: Hey guys!! 🤗; Since we all had detention together this weekend I wanted to make a group chat with you so we can be detention pals!!!!!; (This is Normal aka the PATRIOT in the Teeny suit standing up for SCHOOL PRIDE (GO TEENS)); At least Lincoln should know me. Right Link!? Linky?! Are we on a nickname basis??? You could call me "Norm". Hi!!! 😁
"Link" Li-Wilson (BFF) ⚽👬: Oh hi Normal
Normal: Hi!!!!!!!!!! 👋🤸; Your dad is a librarian right? 📖🤓
"Link" Li-Wilson (BFF) ⚽👬: Uh yeah; Well my one dad Grant is; Why
Normal: Are you good at english then? I need a beta reader; 🥺🥺
"Link" Li-Wilson (BFF) ⚽👬: What's that
Normal: So you might not believe this, but I'm actually quite the prolific author 😎; I want somebody to edit my spelling errors! I just get so excited to post my new chapters that I don't always catch them without autocorrect like I have on here.; And I'm bad at spelling 😞
"Link" Li-Wilson (BFF) ⚽👬: Oh ok; My dad Grant's an author, actually
Normal: NO WAY!!!; Does he write mascot RPF too? 😇
"Link" Li-Wilson (BFF) ⚽👬: What
Normal: Here I'll send my current chapter! If you want to review it (or maybe your dad????? 😯) I could also transcribe the new chapter from my notebook and send it over!; Heartbreak is the Best Medic... archiveofourown.org

	Rating:	Teen & Up Audiences
	Archive Warning:	No Archive Warnings Apply (phew!)
	Category:	M/M (mascot/mascot)
	Fandom:	BUSDSTM – Bonita Unified School District Sports Team Mascots
	Characters:	Teeny the Teen, Pomona Panther, Chaparral Bulldog, Bonita Bearcat, House MD
	Additional Tags:	Marching Band Injury, Hospital Romance, Platonic School Mascot Friends, Friends to Enemies, Enemies to Lovers, Lovers to Enemies, Enemies to Friends, Election Interference, Body Swap, Astral Projection, Time Loop, Marriage Contracts, Trolley Problem, Body Horror, Electrocution, Cozy Mystery, House (TV Series), House/Wilson, House/Cuddy, Patient of the Week, Propolene Glycol Toxicity
	Language:	English
	Stats:	Words: 1,389...Chapters: 1/?...Kudos: 1...Bookmarks: 0ㅤ...Hits: 4

Heartbreak is the Best Medicine

JustANormalKid123Abc!!!

Summary:

After Teeny the Teen breaks his leg in his Marching Band Dance Off against Chaparral Bulldog, his best friends Pomona Panther and Bonita Bearcat try to cheer him up at Mascot Hospital... but his new doctor, House MD, tells him he has Propolene Glycol Toxicity!!

Normal: What do you think, Link?; (Rhyme not intended!!! 😆); My "raw" writing isn't this nice to read. My mom beta'd this first chapter for me, but she cut out the Schrodinger's Panther plotline and gave me $20 not to write another chapter so I can't ask her 🙁
Normal: Link???
Normal: No prob! I'm sure you're probably busy hanging out with your two cool dads!!!!!; We can discuss it later 😊 Maybe I'll start hosting Teen Literature Talks during yearbook club! That would be fun, right?!?!?! (You guys should totally join my yearbook club); OK. I'll go hang out with my two cool parents now too! 😃 Goodnight, fellow Teens (and future mascotheads)!!!
Normal: What about Scary??????? You're a writer, right?; Taylor???????????????????????? I've heard your Substack is pretty "sugoy"! 😋
Taylor Swift (popular) 😎⚔️: *pushes up glasses*; i think you'll find it's SUGOI.; すごい。
Normal: Oh hey Taylor!!!!!; Do you like gifs?
Taylor Swift (popular) 😎⚔️: 🍆💦
Normal: Haha OK! 🙂; Do you wanna beta read my harrowing tale?; Or... tail?!?! Several BUSD mascots have tails.
Taylor Swift (popular) 😎⚔️: no 😎👍💯💯💯💯
Normal: Well OK! 😅 I'm glad we share an appreciation for a good emoji!!!; Do you know anybody who might be interested?; Scary?
Taylor Swift (popular) 😎⚔️: i think scary left the group chat dude
Normal: Aww man! I guess it's just you and me then!!!; (Sorry if the gifs are getting annoying)
Taylor Swift (popular) 😎⚔️: hrmm.... *thinking sound*; well. heh.; i do know one other person who likes to write weird crap like this... 🧐; but...; *hair billowing in the wind as i turn away from u* 🌬️🥷 i'm not sure you'll like it, kid.
Normal: How mysterious!!!!! 😯; Who is it? I probably know them. Not to brag, but Teeny the Teen knows the whole SDHS student body 🥰
Taylor Swift (popular) 😎⚔️: that's the issue; he's my cousin or nephew or something 🤷
Normal: Ohhh; Not a high schooler then? That's a shame! 😔 I would love a real Teen proud teen to beta!!!; No prob, "Bob"! They don't have to be a student to appreciate high school literature 😊 Anyone can have Teen Spirit!!!
Taylor Swift (popular) 😎⚔️: like i said, that's the issue!; he IS a student... at chaparral; dun dun DUN! ムフ 🙊🙈; lmao; normal? are u afk???; heheh... *sheathes blade* my work here is done.

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Big Sis Hero 🙄🚀: can u shut uppppp GOD; i can hear ur music thru the wall; r u plotting against chapparal again; ur never gonna prank the bulldog or whatevr; dadddd tell normal to stop playing tswift bad blood; dont want 2 get out of bed; norm i can see u reading thsi
Mom/Mamá 🔮🍦: Maybe you could try putting in some earplugs :-)
Big Sis Hero 🙄🚀: ughhhh; cant u and dad hear it down the hall; im trying to SLEEP
Dad/Papá ☮️🐺: We can also hear you watching your animes. Maybe turning it off would help you sleep? You do have school and work tomorrow.; :-)
Big Sis Hero 🙄🚀: this family is a nightmare
Dad/Papá ☮️🐺: Lark? Any input?

the handle, Teeny pulls with all his might. He's really strong becuase he's the base of the piramid and he's also really good at flips so he does a back hand spring. Soreing thru the air, Teeny kicks the handle back thus divertting the train to hurdle down the tracks toward only 1 person—the principal of Chaparral High!!! THE END.

9/24/20XX: Still looking for a beta for this chapter. (see above) I think my fellow mascotheads on the ol' AO3 will really like the cliffhanger and cool action! Uncle Lark came up stairs and told me to turn off my music so I did. I thought it was becuase Hero tattled in the family groupchat but uncle Lark said he could hear it from the basement. Not my fault this household can't apreciate 1989 and Reputation!

Today I feel annoyed becuase I asked my new detention pals if they wanted to beta for me but nobody wanted to. Taylor said he knew someone but he goes to CHAPARRAL!!!!! I can't have someone like... well like THAT beta reading my story! Sure Teeny and Chaparral Bulldog have a burgeoning romance in my plot but at the end, Dr House is still going to recognize San Dimas High as the No. 1 school and give Teeny a trophy for overcoming his afliction (and still managing to win the Marching Band Dance Off Rematch)! I can't have a CRAParral student tainting my cozy mystery with PROPOGANDA!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh. OK. I am going to sleep and maybe I will brain storm some ideas for Chapter 3! I want to introduce Bonita Bearcat's ability to travell to the astral plane. Maybe they will be able to percieve the timeloop? I will also print up some flyers before school tomorrow to find a beta. I am sure their are plenty of prospective copyediters roming the halls of San Dimas High who would want to help with this cool teen project!!! Good night!

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed this chapter despite how short it was! The chapters are broken up by date, so there will be some longer chapters in the future. I actually have another already done, and I'm impatient, so I'm probably going to publish it very soon after this one! That being said, I won't guarantee an upload schedule for this fic; it's just a fun little project for me, and my main focus right now is my Silver Linings series, anyway (subtle plug hehe).
Don't compliment me on the (very fun) tags on Normal's fanfic; they're actually canon and pulled directly from a Teen Tribune issue. However, I WILL try to incorporate them into the snippets we see of the fic, along with the tapeworm and fake marriage AU shenanigans described in S2E35! :)

This chapter's work skins (in order of appearance)

iMessage - Azdaema Codes
AO3 work tags/meta info - lordvoldemortsskin
Invisible text - La_Temperanza (used to space out stats in AO3 meta info)
AO3 work summary - ElectricAlice
Google search history - BookKeep
Notebook paper - La_Temperanza

Thank you so much to all of these talented users! <3 I have very little experience with HTML/CSS, so these tutorials have been immensely helpful.

Thanks again for reading! Comments, bookmarks, kudos, etc. are always appreciated! I'm cha1cedony on Tumblr <3

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