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Hot. Scorching. Sweltering. Searing. Balmy. Parching. Oven-like. Those, and so many other words that mean “ow, ow, the sun is trying to kill me!” can describe the desert Pomni and the others trekking are through, Pomni just can’t think of any more at the moment because her brain is being melted out of her nose.
Not really, but it certainly feels like it.
They’re currently on a nature hike through a park crafted by Caine himself, which he cheekily dubbed the “Devil’s Garden.” Giant, beautiful rock formations colored in every warm shade are dotted across the area- spires, buttes, pillars, and, of course, arches. Maze-like canyons wind like snakes through the earth, and hills run for miles. The valley is a deep, rich orange, colored by verdant green plant life still managing to survive in this biome. The sky is a bright, crisp blue with not a single cloud in sight, letting the shining golden sun rain down on the land.
And Pomni HATES IT.
At first, she thought a nice nature hike would be nice. Even though she’s never really seen the appeal in deserts, she can’t deny how pretty this place truly is. She was actually excited to walk through the place!
And then Caine cranked up the heat to make it more “realistic,” and her interest was immediately lost.
You see, there are stages to hikes like these. Five to be exact.
Stage One is: “Okay, this isn’t so bad!” It’s when you start out bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, thinking that you can easily manage what you’re doing, and you start telling yourself that maybe you were overreacting, maybe you were just being whiny and dramatic. You set a steady pace for yourself, you breathe through your nose in a soothing rhythm, and you don’t even think you’ll need your water bottle at all. All is well!
Stage Two is: “Alright, it’s getting a little rough, but I’m still doing my best!” At about the thirty minute mark, you find that you’re still on this trail (because, let’s be real, you were probably dozing off because the scenery gets real old fifteen minutes in), and it’s going to go on for a lot longer than you mentally prepared for. That, compounded with the brutal realization that you have to make this trek all the way back, too, starts to put a damper on your motivation. But, despite this, you keep trucking forward, even if you are moving more slowly and starting to lag behind! You can do this!
Stage Three is: “I am not having fun.” At the hour mark, the grace period has ended, and you are no longer enjoying yourself at all—if you ever did to begin with. You very well could have just gaslit yourself into thinking that you did. You’re hot, sweat is burning your eyes, and you either have stitches in your side or the arches of your feet are aching—god forbid you have both at the same time. You’re taking more and more sips from your water bottle, which you wished was bigger than it actually is, but at this point in the walk, the water is warm and barely enough to satisfy your raging thirst. You’re breathing more out of your mouth than your nose from the exertion of basic movement, something that is only making you feel even more short of breath, and nothing about the scenery is interesting anymore. Oh, a rock? So cool! It’s not like you haven’t seen one two thousand times already? What’s that? A cactus? Amazing! You’re really starting to lag behind by now, and for some reason, the rest of the group insists on waiting for you, which makes you embarrassed, especially when comments are thrown at you for it, but you really can’t make yourself go any faster because if you do, you will throw up. There’s probably sand in your shoe, and you are just SO tempted to lay your sweat-soggy ass down on the ground and wallow in misery.
Stage Four is: “This is the worst thing I’ve ever endured, and I want it to be over already.” You’ve officially entered a downward spiral. There’s no getting out of this mess now. Whatever energy you had left is depleted, and you’ve reached a point of pure exhaustion, mentally and physically. You simply wish for this nightmare to end, in whichever form it may present itself—whether that means somehow teleporting to the trailhead or dropping dead right here and now. Everything is just a blur of rocks and cacti, one foot in front of the other, again and again. All sense of time has faded away, replaced only by the incessant beating of the blazing sun on your head and the nagging ache in your feet. You wonder if every single person who ever came up with the idea that exercise was good for you was a lying, sadistic freak, who simply took pleasure in other people’s misery. Your legs are burning, your lungs are burning, your feet are burning, your face is burning, there is an uncomfortable amount of sweat pooled in the crack of your ass, that boulder over there looks like a much comfier seat than it has any right to, and this stupid, boring trail is NEVER GOING TO END.
Pomni is at that fourth stage currently.
Every step is a slog, like there are weights locked around her ankles, making an action as simple as walking even more difficult than it needs to be. She is officially out of water, and her tongue is stuck to the roof of her mouth. She stares blankly at the ground, and she hasn’t said a word in about an hour, instead choosing to stew in her anger.
Because, yeah, she is angry.
Pomni isn’t a person cut out for long, exerting hikes. She doesn’t have much stamina or endurance, and she gets tired easily. And that’s okay. Not every person needs to be some insane, well-adapted athlete who can easily traipse through the desert without struggling. Not every person can do these three mile long trails and still come out with a smile on their face. It doesn’t make her lazy or some overweight slug that hates exercise- it makes her human.
And it isn’t even the walking that’s getting to her, although it’s certainly a factor after this long. It’s also the fact that she’s had to scramble up rock formations that can barely be considered a “trail” and drag herself up steep hills. When the hike becomes more like an obstacle course, then she doesn’t want anything to do with it, and if she doesn’t have a choice, like right now, she’s going to have a rough time getting through.
Why couldn’t Caine choose an easier course to hike? Or at least lower the temperature? The desert, in all its hellish glory, is not the right environment for his adventure. Pomni can’t help but wonder if he did this on purpose. This has to be torture in some form.
The group is finally on their way back to the start. The trail ended in a view of a grand, magnificent arch, and it was certainly beautiful, Pomni can’t argue against that, but it really didn’t feel worth it.
Pomni is lagging so far behind she can’t even see the others anymore, but she doesn’t care. They can be mad at her for taking so long all they want- she is NOT going faster than she is right now.
At some point, Pomni swears that it’s getting cooler, even though the sun is still as blisteringly hot and bright as it has been this whole time. Her skin feels like it’s covered in goosebumps, and she thinks she’s shivering slightly, but it’s probably just her mind playing tricks on her.
She carefully makes her way down a steep incline covered in piles of giant rocks, nearly slipping and busting her head open at one point—which she almost wanted to have happen so she could pass out and be done with this whole thing. When she gets to the bottom and turns the corner, she sees the others all waiting for her.
Of course. Why can’t they just leave her behind? She’s clearly not cut out for this, and that’s fine. She’s not trying to drag anyone else down with her, so why not just let her be?
“Finally,” Jax says. “Did you take a nap or something? What took you so long?”
Pomni glowers at him. She’s too tired to even argue with him, so she just keeps plodding forward. Surely they’re close to the end by now. Surely.
Ragatha comes up beside Pomni, her expression a mix of sympathy and worry. “Hey, honey. How are you feeling?”
“Mmmmnnnnngggg,” Pomni replies in a grunt. That cowish noise truly is the best way she can articulate how she’s doing right now.
Ragatha gives her a small, rueful smile. “I know. But don’t worry, it’s almost over! You’re doing so well!”
Ragatha’s praise makes Pomni feel a little better. The water bottle she passes over, too, also helps.
Slowly, Pomni starts to recognize the landscape. They’re close to the end, and then they can go back to the Tent. The torture is almost over!
And then, Kinger points something out.
“Hey, have we gone this way yet?”
He’s looking in the direction of a path split between two behemoth rock formations. The way shadows cage the trail certainly makes it look interesting, but seeing it fills Pomni’s stomach with a dark oil spill of dread.
“I don’t think we have,” Zooble says.
“Oh, we should do it!” Gangle suggests, perking up. “It looks cool!”
“W-wait, what—” Pomni sputters. Her heart is racing all of a sudden. She’s dizzy.
Ragatha nods. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
“B-but—” Pomni can’t even get the words out.
Ragatha turns to her with an encouraging look. “Come on, hon. Just a little bit more. You can do this!”
No. No, she cannot.
Like boiling water frothing over the edge of a pot, Pomni finally reaches the fifth stage of hiking.
Stage Five: “I’m done.”
And she is.
“N-no,” Pomni stammers, stepping back. Her sore knees shake beneath the weight of her body. “I can’t— I can’t—”
Kinger attempts to get through to her, “It’ll be fun!”
But Pomni has had enough. Everything hurts, she’s horrifically hot, and she’s tired of this shit.
“No!” Her voice comes out rough, barking. “I can’t do this anymore!”
And then, she turns and storms off down the path leading to the entrance.
All at once, she’s having a panic attack, and she doesn’t even know why. She gasps, her throat burning like she’s breathing in fire, and exhales a shaking sob. Her face feels so scorched that she can’t even produce tears, but she’s still crying.
This is just so unfair. Despite how awful she felt throughout the whole hike, she did her best to not complain or whine, as she didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s good time. She sacrificed her mood for them, and they can’t even sacrifice a walk on one trail, one trail that probably won’t even lead to anything worth it in the end, in return.
Of course.
Pomni moves faster than she has the whole time on the hike, even when her legs scream at her in agony, and stitches thread their way through her side. She just wants to get out of this stupid place as quickly as possible and be done with all of this. She never wants to see another cactus in her life.
“Stupid, stupid,” she hisses between heaving breaths and weak sniffles. “I hate them. They don’t give a s[@#$] about me.”
The physical and emotional fatigue has built up for too long without her properly expressing it, and now she’s just breaking apart at the seams. Her body feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. Her mind is racing, running a marathon of worries and fears, and she can’t even keep a single thought straight before it flies off like a bee. It’s too much. It’s all too much. She’s overwhelmed by the heat, the exertion, everything.
And it feels like none of them cares. Not really. They only care about having a good time and could care less about how she’s doing.
Why is she even surprised?
Pomni gets to the start and immediately collapses, her knees abrading roughly over hot, dusty stone, but she doesn’t give a damn. She sits against a rock, trying to steady her breathing as she continues to cry.
It’s so stupid that she’s even worked up about this. It’s really not that big of a deal, just a stupid adventure that Caine probably set up on purpose because it’s funny to him. But she just can’t take this bullshit anymore.
She’s so tired.
It’s almost comical just how miserable Pomni is. Her legs are all scraped up, bruised from falls and bumping into sharp rocks, her back hurts, her chest aches from wheezing, and she’s still crying like a little girl. She wants to curl up so tightly that she just disappears, melts down into the ground and becomes one with dirt.
Because this isn’t just about the hike. It’s all of it.
It’s the fact that they don’t care about her, that they don’t care about her feelings.
And maybe that’s not true at all, but they’ve certainly done a good job at making it seem that way.
Pomni isn’t sure how long she’s slumped on the ground, sniffling and whimpering pathetically, her head buried in her knees, but eventually, footsteps approach.
She doesn’t look up.
There’s a murmur of voice, but she tries not to listen. Then, the footsteps depart.
She still doesn’t look up.
And then, she feels a presence close to her- someone kneels beside her. “Pomni?”
It’s Ragatha.
“Pomni, honey, are you okay?”
Pomni just sniffles softly.
Something cool and wet touches the back of Pomni’s heated neck, making her gasp softly. She peeks up, and Ragatha is, indeed, there, looking very concerned. She lowers her head again quickly.
“Pomni, listen… I’m so sorry.”
That surprises Pomni. Is she really being apologized to?
“I shouldn’t have insisted that you should have come with us,” Ragatha goes on. “I saw how tired you were, and yet I did it anyway. We should have just kept moving. I’m sorry.”
She blinks. She isn’t being scolded for not pushing herself enough? She’s being apologized to?
Pomni looks up again. Ragatha’s expression is so contrite and genuine that Pomni is caught off guard.
“I— I—” Pomni’s throat is dry and tight, and it takes her a moment to speak properly. “I-I just… It was all too much. I couldn’t do it anymore.”
Ragatha nods in understanding. “I get it, Pomni. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
“I-I thought… I thought you didn’t…care.”
Ragatha frowns deeply at that. “No. We all care about you. I care about you very much.” She tilts her head a little. “Did you think we didn’t?”
Pomni nods faintly.
“Oh, sweetheart… I’m so sorry we made it seem that way, but I promise you, it isn’t true. We care about you a lot.” Ragatha opens her arms. “Would you like a hug?”
Pomni would. She really, really would. She leans into Ragatha’s arms, nestling into the embrace. And even though it makes her even hotter, she’s comfortable and starting to feel a little bit better.
“Now,” Ragatha says, gently brushing away a strand of hair glued to Pomni’s face by sweat. “Let’s get out of here, hm?”
Pomni nods. “Yes, please. I never want to walk ever again.”
Ragatha laughs, and despite the insistent ache in her feet, Pomni finds herself laughing a little, too.