Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nina stormed inside the music room. 

“Well hello, Nina”, Jesper said. He was lying on a couch, guitar next to him. Although he wasn’t playing it right now, because he was playing some game on his phone.

“Where’s Inej?” she said, looking around the room.

Jesper shrugged. “Dunno, she’s proba-”

“I’m here”, a soft voice called from behind Nina. Inej had been sitting next to the door, but stood up now. Her long black hair was braided and hung over one shoulder.

“Great!” Nina called. “I have this amazing new idea for a song, and I need you, Wraith. And you as well, Jesper.” She slumped down next to him. Inej followed and sat opposite them. “Okay guys, you know I have been working on this song, right?”

“No, really?” Jesper said sarcastically. “You only mentioned it like… every minute since last week.”

“Shut it or I’ll make you quit the band.”

Jesper held up his hands in defense. “We both know you need me, sweetheart.”

Nina shook her head and sighed. “So, Inej, I want you to sing the third verse. Jesper, you can have the second one. What do you think?” Her eyes were shimmering as she looked at her friends.

Jesper bounced his leg up and down. “I’m in. I’m definitely in. The world is not ready for my voice, baby. I’ll blow them all away!” He mimicked shooting a gun at an imaginary audience.

“Uh…” Inej said. “I’m not sure. You know I don’t like drawing that much attention to myself.”

“You haven’t heard these lyrics yet. You’ll love them! And your voice is really good, you know that.” Nina stood up and sat next to Inej. She took her hands. “But, if you really really don’t want to do this, we’ll find someone else.”

Inej smiled. “You know I adore your lyrics, Nina. But I think holding an audition is not such a bad idea after all. We still need a bass player since Joost left.”

Nina groaned. “Don’t remind me of him. I should have known that he liked his girlfriend more than showing up to practice.”

“And that mustache of his was just not it”, Jesper added. 

The door opened again, and Matthias entered. He looked around with his usual frown, until he looked at Nina. His blue eyes lit up. Nina could feel her heart skip a beat. Ever since she kissed him last week, she could only think about his lips. They should maybe tell the others about that somewhere soon.

Inej looked from Matthias to Nina and back. She perched an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Nina drew her attention to the present again. “So, how about we hold the audition next week? I’ll make some flyers to hang around school.”

Matthias sat down next to Jesper. “I can help you with that, Nina.” His low voice curled around her name.

“That’s wonderful”, she said. “Now, let’s practice our song from last week.” 

They all got up and walked to their places. Nina stood up front, holding a microphone in one hand. Jesper was next to her, his guitar thrown over his shoulder. Matthias sat down at the drums, and Inej played the keys. Before them, a bit shaggy but still readable, stood a wooden board with The Crows painted on it. Inej had also drawn a little crow figure next to it, holding a music note in its beak.

“One, two, three, four…”

They burst into an uptempo song. Matthias played a fast, steady rhythm. Jesper joined this with some rich chords. Inej provided the melody. And Nina sang.

“ You know why I did

but I couldn’t resist it

it’s okay that you’re gone

because I know it was wrong

to … ”

At the chorus, Jesper joined in.

“ Steal your heart

and steal your clothes

Yeah that’s what you get

When you love a Crow

You broke my heart

I broke your nose

Yeah that’s what you get

When you leave a Crow ”

They played the rest of the song. Jesper hit the last chord together with Inej. There was a moment of silence before they all cheered.

“That was great guys!” Nina said. “If I can finish our new song” - Jesper rolled his eyes at this - “then maybe we’ll have enough songs to give a mini show at the school ball this year.”

Matthias nodded. “If we find that bass player like you said, then I’m in.”

Jesper made a gasping sound and choked on the air.

“Are you alright?” Inej asked, not really worried.

He coughed again, and said, “I’m fine. I was just thinking about our fantastic outfits we’re gonna wear! I was thinking of something with a bare chest for you, Matthias.”

Nina, who had been drinking some water, nearly choked.

Matthias turned red. “I don’t think that I approve of your choice.”

“Oh no,” Jesper said, “guess that I’ll have to wear that then.”

“You can wear whatever you want, Jesper”, Nina said. “Let’s do Shipwreck next.” She picked up her tambourine, and they started playing again. This song began slow, but took up pace after the first verse:

“ I was a shipwreck

before I found your land

You showed me an ocean

when you touched my hand

I need to go home

to tell my mom and dad

I am just a shipwreck

slowly going mad ”

She couldn't resist it - Nina walked over to Matthias, and sang the chorus to him. Jesper exchanged a look with Inej.

"Now you pulling me in

As I'm losing my mind

I know I can't win

Or stay behind"

When the song was over, Nina and Matthias were staring at each other. 

Jesper cleared his throat and said, “Soooo, I guess this means you two are dating?”

Nina blushed. “Oh no, I mean- yes- I mean, it’s only been a week. I-”

“We kissed last week”, Matthias said. He put his drumsticks down and stretched his fingers. “But let’s discuss that after our practice. Nina?”

“Okay”, she said. “But I need a break first.” She walked out of the room, her heart racing.

Chapter Text

When Wylan saw the flyer, he ripped it off the board. Could it really be…? 

He had heard The Crows practicing when he passed the room to go to his English tutor. Nina's voice sounded so desperate, when she sang about love and being stranded. But what really lured him in, were those amazing guitar melodies complimenting her. He had tried to take a sneak look into the room, but the windows were boarded up. And by then he had to run to get to his lesson in time.

The Crows are looking for YOU! the flyer said. Do you play bass? Can you sing? Do you like waffles? 

No, maybe and yes. The bell rang and Wylan shoved the flyer into his pocket. He hurried off to his chemistry class.

Some weeks ago, he had walked into a room where the band was sitting. He had been looking for an empty class to study. When he had opened the door, he had immediately noticed three things. One, the little board with the band's name on it. Two, four pairs of eyes on him. And three, Jesper.

“Oops, sorry, wrong door”, he had said and quickly taken off again. He found another room and sunk down into a chair. His heart was racing like he had run a kilometer. 

I wanna join this band, Wylan had thought. But they were all older than him, and he didn't quite know how to introduce himself. He also could only play the flute.

Auditions are next week! the flyer had stated in a funky print. Join us in the music room, 16:15.

That's when he had his extra English lessons that his dad paid so much for. Wylan didn't exactly hate the lessons, or the tutor, but he hated how his dad thought that his son was too dumb for anything. But he wasn't stupid, or shy, or anything else that his dad had shouted at him. He could just not read or write as well as others.

He did need a tutor, though, not for English, but to teach him how to play the bass. And it would just happen that he knew someone.

After class, Wylan ran to where he thought he would find him. And there he was, standing on the roof of the school building, looking over the town but not quite seeing it.

‘He’ was Kaz Brekker, the self-proclaimed bad guy of the school. Not bad boy, no, he hasn't been a boy for a very long time. No one knew exactly what had happened to him and his older brother, but the rumors were getting more absurd each day.

“Kaz”, Wylan said. “Hi.”

Kaz turned his head a bit, so that one dark eye was looking at Wylan. He leaned heavily on a crutch. “Wylan.” His voice showed no emotion at all. “Why are you here?”

“I was just wondering… I-I can pay you if you want, but-”

Kaz strode over to him in three steps, his face centimeters away from Wylan's. “I don’t want your dad's filthy money.” He spat the last word out like it had a bad taste.

Wylan felt a pang of fear, and wondered for a second if Kaz would throw him over the edge. But Kaz had already taken a step back. “Go on then,” he said, “what do you need from me.”

“I was just thinking about how you play the bass and now I wanna join this band for no particular reason at all because they're looking for a bass player but I can't play and maybe you could teach me? If you want?” 

There was a long silence. Wylan was beginning to turn back around and go away, when Kaz said, “ Yeah. I can teach you.”

“Really? Oh thank you!” 

Wylan felt the strange urge to hug Kaz, but something in his eyes and the way he clutched his crutch held him back.

“But,” Kaz said, “I want you to introduce me to this band as well. We're a unit, you and I, you understand?”

“Yes?”

“Great. See you tomorrow for your first lesson.” And he walked away, leaving Wylan on the roof, dreaming about playing the guitar together with a certain boy.

Chapter Text

It was the day of the audition, and The Crows were gathered in the music room. Nina had brought waffles for everyone, but had said that they had to wait to eat them. She was sitting next to Matthias.

Jesper came into the room. “Well, I have some good news and some bad news.”

Inej, who had been reading a book, put it down. “Tell us the good first.”

“Aah, well,” Jesper said as he sat down next to her, “there will be plenty of waffles left for us after the auditions!” He reached for one, but Nina slapped his hand.

“And the bad news?” Matthias asked.

“There is only one candidate. Or, one and a half, to be more precise.”

“How can there be half a candidate, Jesper?” Nina asked, before she took the plate with waffles off the table. She gave one to Matthias and took one for herself. Inej took one too. Jesper tried again to get one, but Nina held the plate out of his reach.

“You can call them in, then you can get a waffle”, she said with a mischievous look in her brown eyes.

“Ugh, fine.” Jesper left the room. When he came back, a dark haired boy was following him. He was carrying a guitar. Behind him was a skinny pale boy with reddish hair.

Nina stood up and walked over to them. “Hi! I’m Nina, and these are Jesper, Matthias and Inej. So, who are you guys?”

Kaz put the guitar down. There was a brief expression of pain in his eyes, but only Inej noticed. “This is Wylan”, he began. “He’ll play the bass for you.”

“And who are you?” Inej asked, even though she knew. Everybody knows who Kaz Brekker is. But she wanted to… she didn’t know exactly, but it felt good to act like he was just another student.

Kaz looked her way. He took her in for a brief moment, but said then, “I’m Kaz. I’m Wylan’s manager. So if you take him in, you get me too.”

Jesper laughed at this. “A manager? Dude, we’re a high school band, not superstars.”

“Just because it isn’t like that right now doesn't mean it can’t become like that.” He walked over and sat down on a crate. “Now, can we get started? I’ve got stuff to do.”

Inej glared at Matthias, who looked as confused as she felt. Who was this boy, and why did he think he could start demanding things like that? She could feel annoyance creeping up, but also a strange curiosity. Was it an act, or did he mean it?

“Yeah, good”, Nina said. “Wylan, dear, you can sit down here and play whenever you’re feeling ready.”

“Can I get my waffle now?” Jesper asked.

The band sat down in front of Wylan. His ears had turned red, but in his eyes was a fierce glow. He took a quick look at Kaz, and started playing.

It wasn’t good. His notes creaked and he hit a few wrong ones. Inej saw Matthias and Jesper exchange some looks. But as Wylan went on, his playing became better. At one point, he lost a certain nervosity and played more casually. 

Inej glanced at Kaz, who looked her in the eyes. She cast her eyes away, concentrating on Wylan again.

When the song was over, there was a short silence. Then Jesper began applauding, and soon the others followed.

“That was good!”, Nina said. “We’ll have to decide if you’re in or not, but you sure have talent.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous”, Kaz said. “He’s your only candidate. He’s part of your band now.”

“I don’t like your tone”, Matthias said. He gave Kaz a dirty look, but Kaz just looked straight back at him.

Jesper was taking Wylan in from head to toe. “You sure have beautiful hands”, he said. 

“I- what? I mean, thanks?” He gave Jesper a smile, then stood up and stored his guitar away. “I’ll wait outside, then you guys can talk to each other without us, right, Kaz?” he said.

“No, no, you can stay here”, Nina said. “Kaz is right. You’re in. Congratulations! Do you want a waffle?”

Inej stood up and walked to him. “Welcome in The Crows!” She turned to Kaz. “And you too.”

He gave her a tiny nod, then stood up. “I have to go now.” He walked out the door.

I'm gonna find out who you are, Kaz Brekker, Inej thought.

Chapter Text

Nina was wiping away the crumbs from her waffle that had fallen on her sweater. She looked up and met Matthias’ eyes. Jesper and Inej had gone home already. 

Matthias started picking up the plates that were laying around the room. When she looked at him with those green eyes, he had to do something or he would burst.

“So, what do you think of Wylan?” Nina asked.

“Jesper likes him.”

Nina laughed. He loved how the sound drifted around him. “Yeah, but I asked for your opinion. I think that he’ll do great, actually.”

“I’m worried about that friend of his.” He put the plates down on the table between the two couches. “His energy was very… dark.”

“His energy ? Did you, Matthias Helvar, just say that?” She laughed hard. When she saw that he was serious, she got up and walked to him. “Why are you worried?”

Matthias brushed a curl out of Nina’s face. His heart was racing, but so was his mind. “We’re not a band that needs a manager. I think that he’s going to use us for something. You’ve heard the rumours, right?”

“About his criminal activities? Yes, I have.” Nina was silent for a second. “But then he also lost his brother. I don’t think that he has a bad heart. Just… bad times.”

Matthias nodded at this. “But I’m gonna keep an eye on him. One wrong move, and he’s out.”

“Speaking of out, do you want to go out with me this weekend? We could order some food or go dancing or maybe to that new café?” rambled Nina on.

A big smile broke through on his face. He lowered his face and kissed her shortly. “Anything’s fine with me. As long as you’re there.”

Nina kissed him back. Her hands stroked through his hair.

They let go of each other again.

“See you tomorrow then?” Nina said.

Later that week, Matthias met up with Kaz. He had searched for Wylan and had asked him where he could find “that dark friend of yours.”

“Well he’s not really my friend”, Wylan had said.

“I don’t care. Do you know where he is, yes or no?”

Wylan had said that Kaz could usually be found on top of the school. “Good luck”, he had added with a grin.

So Matthias climbed the four sets of stairs. He wondered why Kaz, who was never seen without his crutch, preferred this place. But then again, that boy’s energy was off.

“Hello, Matthias.” Kaz kept looking straight ahead. His raven black hair made his pale skin even whiter.

Matthias walked up to him. “Listen here, demon-”

“Demon? That’s a first. Or at least, in my face.” He glanced at Matthias. “Go on, what do you want.”

“I don’t know what your plans are, but I don’t like it. We’re not some tools you can use for your own good.”

Kaz turned, so that he was leaning with his side against the wall. “I would never use you. When I start managing your little band, I’ll make sure everyone gets their part. I’m not a monster, or, as you said it, a demon.”

“Hmpf.”

“Fine, don’t believe me then.” He shifted his weight onto his crutch. “But I can tell you this already about your bandmates. Jesper is only in this band to score a romance. Nina wants to get famous, but doesn’t want to put that pressure on you. Inej has a mental block that stops her from owning her rightful space. And you believe in destiny.”

“What does that have to do with music?” Matthias asked, perplexed.

Kaz shrugged. “You won’t fight for things. You wait for them to happen. If you want to make it in this world, you can’t just sit and hope for a brighter future.” He stepped closer and poked Matthias’ chest. “Wake up and do something, for a change.” 

Matthias could feel himself getting angry at this, but why? Because Kaz stood too close to him, or because he was right? “And what about Wylan then? What is his part in all of this?”

A hint of smile touched Kaz’ mouth. “He wanted to join your band, that’s all. I just took the opportunity. He’s not to blame.” He started to walk to the stairs. “Now, see you at rehearsal?”

Matthias turned to look over the school and think.

Chapter Text

The next day, Inej and Nina were hanging in the practice room. They were going over Nina’s new song. Inej was making some adjustments on the lyrics, while Nina was trying to convince her to sing.

“It’s that this part is perfect for you”, Nina tried. “ I'm that knife in your boot, girl, I got ya .”

Inej smiled weakly. “It’s great, really. But I… just don’t like singing on my own, for an audience.” She hummed the melody and nodded her head along.

“Okay… hear me out, what if we performed this song blind?”

“What? Like ‘I can’t see them so they can’t see me’? I’m not five anymore, Nina”, Inej laughed.

Nina laughed too. “Yeah, but that’s basically my idea.” She put down her sheet of paper. “I was thinking that we could stand behind a curtain or screen of some sort. Then they’ll only see your shadow.”

“They will still know it’s me though.” Inej wrote something down.

“True, but then you don’t look them in the eye. It’s a huge difference. Think about it.” Nina feared that her song would flop without Inej in it, but she didn’t say that to her. The others didn’t know about her dream to play in a much bigger band, to take over the world with her music. They would probably support her, but each had their own struggles. And they were high schoolers.

“I’ll try next repetition for you guys. Make sure Kaz’s there.”

Nina turned her head at this. “Why? We don’t know him, I would think that-”

“Then he’ll see we’re not as marketable as he thinks, and maybe he’ll leave us alone”, Inej said with a clear voice. Her dark eyes were shimmering.

“Ooh, is that a scheming face, Wraith?” Nina teased. “But he’ll be there, I’m sure. Something else, I’ve got a date with Matthias this weekend, but I need your help to pick an outfit.”

Inej shrieked a little and hugged her friend. “That’s amazing! Where are you going? Oh, do you still have that red dress? You should wear that. Also, are you going to the ball together? I mean, obviously, but have you asked each other yet?”

Nina shook her head. “No, but I’ll ask him on the date! And thank you for your advice about my dress. We should go shopping for the ball soon!”

They made plans to go somewhere soon and then said goodbye. Inej had to go to her math class, while Nina had history.

That evening, the band met again for practice. Nina was adjusting her microphone as Inej walked in. They locked eyes and she went over to her.

“I’m ready”, Inej said. She sat down at the piano and played an accord. 

“Does Wylan know we have practice?” Nina asked Matthias, who was cleaning his drums. It was a ritual he did every time before they started playing.

He shrugged. “I’m sure Kaz will have found everything out somehow.” He muttered something that sounded like “that demon”, but she was sure she misheard him.

The door opened, and Jesper walked in with Wylan next to him. He was in the middle of explaining something. “... and then you can try it without the recording, because otherwise you’ll rely too much on it. It’s actually the best to practice it live. So say, when can I come over?”

At this, the room fell silent. Nina glanced at Inej, who raised her eyebrows at her.

“Um, well,” Wylan said, “tomorrow? My dad’s out of town, so-”

“Wow wow wow merchant boy, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Jesper winked at Wylan, who turned pink.

Matthias cleared his throat.

“Oh hey Crowsies! Are you ready to hear me sing?” Jesper walked over to his guitar, tugging Wylan along. “You can stand over there, perfect.”

Nina rolled her eyes and said, “Does anyone know if Kaz’s coming?”

“I’m here”, a dry voice said. “Let’s begin. Or wait, no.”

“No?” Nina said, getting annoyed already. “Since when do you decide that?”

He looked at her and continued, “Your alignment is all messed up. No one can see Matthias, Nina, you need to have space to move around. Jesper and Wylan, stand farther apart. Inej, I guess you can’t move, but you’re quite alright.”

Nina looked over her shoulder and saw that he was right. She bit her cheek, trying not to snap at him. “Fine. Everyone, move.”

They looked at each other and moved, under guidance of Kaz, to new places. Nina was now more at the right side, with Jesper and Wylan diagonally behind her. They all helped move Matthias more to the left, behind Inej.

“Can we begin now?” 

Kaz sat down with his legs stretched out before him. He gestured with his hand, and The Crows played Nina’s first song for the first time.

“ We wear red so they don’t see us bleed

Hundred dollar bills under our sleeve

We intent not to sleep ‘til we’re dead

Drink our problems right out of our heads

Singing oh, oh-oh-oh, oh

Trouble (trouble)

Singing oh, oh-oh-oh, oh

Trouble (trouble) ”

At the second verse, Jesper had to set in, but he began too late. 

“Dangerously havin' - ah shit. Sorry, sorry.”

They all stopped playing.

Nina sighed. “It’s fine. We’ll do it from your verse. Ready?” 

Chapter Text

Kaz wasn’t really sure what he was doing here. It was partly true that he thought this band could use some management, but on the other hand, he had his personal reasons.

As he was watching the Crows struggle with their new song, his gaze fell on Inej. She was humming to herself, practicing the words.

His leg was hurting. He hoped they would hurry up a bit, so he could go lay down and get some rest.

When they finally finished the song for the first time, Kaz could feel five pairs of eyes on him. He let the silence linger some more. 

“That was not bad”, he said. “For a first time. Sort of.”

“Oh come on,” Jesper said, “it’s normal that we suck at the beginning. We all need to get into it.”

Kaz held up his hands. “Fine, but if you want to make it to the school ball, you’ll need some advice.”

Jesper was about to protest again, but Inej hit him with her sheet of paper. “Let him talk.” She looked at him, and his ears began ringing. Her eyes were two black holes, sucking him in, leaving everything else behind.

Kaz shook his head to clear his mind. “Okay, let me see…”

The practice took forever. Kaz’ leg was killing him now. After a while, he gathered his strength and pushed himself upright. “I’m out.” He walked away, into the cooler hallway. He hadn’t realized how warm it was in the band room. As he went on, he felt his head starting to spin. Oh no. His hand pushed against the wall. Not here, not now.

The dark was creeping up on him. The spinning became worse and worse. His hand slid away from the wall and he couldn’t make up from down.

“Kaz?” a voice called from afar. “Kaz, what happened?”

He opened his eyes and saw Nina standing over him. She reached for his forehead, but he pushed her hand away. The feeling of her skin made him flinch. “D-don’t touch me”, he grunted. “Where’s my crutch?” He looked frantically around. “Where. Is. It.”

Inej came to him, holding his crutch. “Here, I’ve got it.” She looked at him, seemed to realize something and handed it to him. He almost clawed it out of her hands. 

He pushed himself back up. The world started to spin again, but Kaz took some deep breaths to stop it. “I’m fine. You can all go back inside now.”

Nina and Inej exchanged a look. “You just fainted, Kaz”, Nina said. “Shouldn’t you sit down for a while, or drink something?”

Kaz could feel his anger rise. He wanted to get out, get away from here, anywhere but this place. “No, I’m fine, Nina. I’m going home now.” He started to walk. When they didn’t follow him, he let out a sigh and slowed down. 

Kaz reached the exit and was about to walk outside, when something made him stop. He looked to his right. Inej was standing next to him.

He couldn’t bring the energy to snarl at her. Instead, he raised his eyebrows. “What?” he said soft.

“You dropped your wallet.” Inej gave it to him. “And… We're meeting again tomorrow, same time. Will you be there?”

Kaz wanted to say no. He wanted to stay in bed. He didn't think he could handle another day with so many people around him. But instead he said: “I'll see you tomorrow again.”

Inej looked at him. The sun caught her hair and set it on fire. Kaz could feel his breath shake. He turned abruplty and went home.

The next few weeks the Crows met up and practiced Trouble. Kaz came when his leg would let him. Slowly, they were making progress. The school ball was in two weeks already, but Inej still wasn’t sure if she would sing her part. Kaz decided he should try to convince her.

One day, when the rehearsal was done, he walked up to her. “Hi.”

She turned around to face him. Today, her hair was pinned up, leaving her neck bare. Kaz could feel his eyes being drawn to her warm bronze skin. He wanted to… touch her. Wanted to trace the line of her jaw. 

He crossed his arms. What was wrong with him? Where did this come from? “I, uh, I heard you weren’t sure about singing yet.”

Inej sighed. “I know I can sing, it’s… I've had some bad experiences in the past. I don't like it when people are looking at me.” Her eyes became glossy. “I want…”

Kaz’ heart skipped a beat. What did he think she would say? He barely knew her, this mysterious girl. “Yes?”

“It sounds stupid, but I want to be free.” 

“No, I get it.” Kaz shifted his weight. “I think. I… I've had some bad things happen too.”

She looked up at him and nodded.

“Sooo, what are you two up to?” Jesper called out. He threw an arm around Inej and opened the other one to Kaz. The latter pushed his arm away with his crutch. “Okay, not a hugger then. Wylan and I are going to this new waffle place and Nina basically invited herself, so if she's coming that means she'll bring Matthias with her. Are you two going with us?”

“Wait- Wylan and you were going… as in a date?” Inej asked playfully.

“Um…” 

“Wow, that's the first time I've seen you speechless.” said Kaz.

Jesper laughed. “And the first time you made a joke.” 

Kaz’ smile faded away.

“Okay, Kaz and I will come with you.” Inej gathered her stuff and followed Jesper. At the door, she turned. “Kaz?”

And Kaz, the boy the entire school knew and was afraid of, smiled at her and came along

Chapter Text

Jesper felt like throwing up. Why must everything he does go sour? He had wanted to ask Wylan on a date, but he should have waited until they were alone. Now he’s stuck with his friends. And he loves his friends, but not on a date.

That first moment Wylan and Kaz had walked into the practice room, he hadn’t know where to look. There had always been something about Kaz that attracted him. Jesper couldn’t pinpoint what exactly. Maybe his jawline, or dark eyes, or dark past. It could also be because Kaz was so unavailable, Jesper felt safe to have a crush on him.

But that all changed the minute he saw Wylan. He had never stood out to Jesper, and he immediately wondered why. Wylan was handsome. No, he was gorgeous. How the dusty sunlight had caught his hair and set it ablaze. Those big round eyes nervously scanning the room.

True, his playing was terrible, but Jesper was nonetheless entranced.

They were all walking to the waffle place. Nina was leading with Matthias, hand in hand. They looked so at ease with each other. Jesper wished he could grab Wylan’s hand, but he didn’t know how he would react. So instead he shoved his hands in his pockets, fumbling with a spare coin in it.

Behind them, Inej and Kaz were having a soft conversation. He wondered what on Earth Kaz had in common with Inej. 

“Jesper”, Wylan said suddenly. “I was thinking…”

He turned his head and met Wylan’s gaze. “About me? Late at night? What was I wearing?”

Wylan flushed, but replied, “Oh I don’t think I can speak about that in public.” He glanced at Jesper, who didn’t know how to react. He cleared his throat. “But, as I was saying…”

“We’re here!” Nina exclaimed. “Let’s get inside.”

Jesper looked over, annoyed, and then back at Wylan. “What is it?”

But they were already going inside, and Wylan didn’t answer.

The Crows were seated at a table in a corner of the waffle place. They had ordered the big Waffle Plate Deluxe™ to share. Even Kaz seemed to be enjoying himself.

Nina cleared her throat and raised her mug of hot chocolate. “Friends, enemies and everyone else, I would like to take this moment to say that I’m really grateful you’re my bandmates.” She looked one by one into the eyes of everyone. “We’ve come a long way and our show in two weeks will be amazing.”

“Showstopping, spectacular, never been done before, totally unique-” 

“Thank you, Jesper. Now, as a matter of fact, I had a friend who had to do me a favour, and she agreed to help make our costumes!”

Inej cheered at this.

“She’ll come around tomorrow, so make sure you have an idea of what you want. Also our budget is… minuscule so think about stuff you already own. I know Jesper that you have a pair of pants with a lot of glitter?”

Jesper put his fork down and placed a hand on his heart. “My dear Nina, I own multiple. Who do you think I am?”

Wylan chuckled at this. He was sitting next to Jesper, and he didn’t know if their legs were touching because of the limited space or because neither of them wanted to move. Jesper was hoping it was the latter.

They went on talking about clothes and make-up. Nina saw it big, but Kaz and Matthias were not a fan of sequins. A shame , Jesper thought.

“Hey, um, Jes, can I speak to you for a second?” Wylan asked him.

Did he just call me Jes? he thought. But Jesper said, “Sure. Guys, we’re going to the bathroom. See you later.” He stood up and pulled Wylan along. “Back in a bit.” He acted like he didn’t see the looks Nina and Inej exchanged. Or the way his heart was racing.

Chapter Text

Jesper pulled Wylan into the tiny bathroom in the back of the café. The light was dimmed, but the dark tiles still shimmered. Jesper pulled the door shut behind them and locked it. He leaned against it, arms crossed. Wylan didn’t know if he wanted to fall beside him or pull Jesper towards himself. He ended up standing in the middle.

“Okay, shoot. What is it you’ve been trying to tell me so desperately?” Jesper looked at him with his deep brown eyes.

Wylan’s heart gave an anxious twitch. He was not ready. “I know that you wanted this to be just us…” he began. “And I like hanging out with your friends!”

“They’re your friends too now, Wylan.”

“Ah, that means Kaz is your friend too now?” Wylan wanted to bite his tongue. Why did he have to bring up the others? He was finally alone with this beautiful boy and he somehow still messed it up.

Jesper raised an eyebrow, but said then softly, “I really want to go on a date with you, Wylan Van Eck. Just you and me.”

“Me too.” Then he took a big breath and said, “Will you-”

“Marry you? Why, I am charmed, but I’m afraid I’m way too young, beside-” Jesper kept on rambling.

Fine, Wylan thought, I guess I’ll have to shut him up. He walked over to Jesper, who was still talking, placed his hands on his cheeks and pulled him towards him. Their lips met and Jesper made a soft sound in the back of his throat.

Wylan pulled back and gazed at Jesper. His heart was beating uncontrollably. Then Jespers hands were around his waist, pulling him back in and they were kissing again. One hand crept up and grabbed a handful of Wylan’s hair. Jesper tugged lightly and Wylan bent his head, leaning into the movement.

He gasped before placing a hand on Jesper’s chest. It felt warm and reliable. “Jes…”

“God don’t call me that.”

A cold fell over him. “Why? Do you not like it?”

Jesper chuckled. “No, I enjoy it very much, but I’m afraid it makes me weak in the knees. I don’t want to fall over while we could be doing this.” He lowered his head again and took Wylan’s lower lip between his.

Wylan completely forgot why they were there. Why did they come in this room? He had a faint thought in the back of his head, but he couldn’t concentrate on that now. He didn’t want to.

At last, Jesper pulled back. His lips were swollen and his cheeks flushed. Do I look like that too? Wylan thought.

“Tell me”, Jesper said.

“Do you want to be my date for the ball?” Wylan asked in a low voice. He traced Jesper's jawline with a finger, starting at the ear and going down to his chin.

“Yes. Yes, of course!” He took Wylan's hand and spinned him around. “I am a great dancer.”

Wylan laughed.

Jesper gasped. “Do you wanna get matching suits? Oh or maybe I'll wear a dress.” He let go of Wylan's hand and looked at himself in the mirror. “I would be so hot.” He flexed his biceps. 

Wylan tried very hard to not think about those arms when he answered. “Yeah, sure. My dad will probably make me wear a boring black suit though.” 

Jesper dropped his arm. “Nu-uh. We’ll have to get you something.”

“We?” Wylan asked, but he had a clear assumption of who it could be.

“Nina and Inej of course. I must say, I also have a great fashion taste, but we’ll need a neutral opinion.”

“So, does that mean, are we gonna tell them? About us? Or what do you want this to be?” 

Jesper looked at Wylan, and Wylan looked at Jesper.

“What do you want it to be?” Jesper asked earnestly. He had turned around from the mirror towards Wylan.

Wylan wanted to kiss him again instead of talking, but he knew that they both needed to hear it. “I want to be your boyfriend. And I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Then that's what we are.” He smiled. “Boyfriend.”

“Jes.”

“Just kiss me already.”

And Wylan did.

Chapter Text

Inej was sitting next to Nina on a couch. Jesper and Wylan were walking around the shop, picking things they wanted to try. This surely couldn’t have gone wrong, as seen when Jesper planted a giant purple hat on Wylan’s head, who started to parade.
A few days before, Nina’s friend Genya had popped in to help create some stage outfits. They had settled on black with red accents and glitter. Lots of glitter.
“We’re a band,” Nina had said, “so we have to look like one.”
For Wylan and Matthias, they had a black glittering pair of pants with a red T-shirt. Jesper had a red skirt with a black tank top. Nina wore a red dress and Inej a black one. She had a red scarf that she’d tie in her hair.
Kaz had refused anything with glitter. “No one will see me anyway”, he had said. “There’s no point.” They’d settled on a black suit, and, with some help from Inej, a sequined tie.
“So,” Nina said now, “what color do you want?”
Inej sighed. “Can’t I just keep on wearing my band outfit? I really like that dress.” She pictured it in her mind, with some red killer shoes underneath.
Nina shook her head. “This is your only chance to wear the most ridiculous dress until your wedding day. Or outfit, I mean, it doesn’t have to be a dress of course.” She got up and walked over to a clothing rack. “Blue? No, not this one, … Green maybe?” She pulled a dress out of the rack. “Oh no, this is horrendous. Jesper would like it though.”
“What would I like?” Jesper popped out from two aisles further. He saw the dress Nina was holding. “Oh yeah, definitely!” He disappeared again.
Inej smiled at her friends. Wylan emerged from somewhere and sat down next to her. He exhaled loudly. “I didn’t know shopping was this exhausting.”
“Did you find anything yet?”
“No- I- oh this is gonna sound so spoiled, but my dad gets my clothes made by someone. So I never had to choose anything.” He glanced at Inej.
“It’s overwhelming you”, she said. She stood up. “Com’on, tell me what your favorite color is and then we’ll go find the one!”
Inej saw that Wylan wanted to make a remark - probably about Jesper being the one for him or something as cheesy as that - but they got interrupted by Nina.
“I’m sorry, Wylan, I’m stealing Inej for a moment.” She had a couple of clothes draped over her arm. “Jesper is over there, or you can help us choose.”
Wylan exchanged a look with Inej. She saw that he had refound new energy.

The first dress was orange. Inej didn’t even try that one, as much as she loved Nina, but she hated it at first sight.
Nina pouted at that, but she respected her friend too much to really complain.
The second one was an icy blue suit with bronze accents. It looked really cute on the hanger and Inej liked the feel of it.
She emerged from the dressing room. “What do you think?”
Nina looked her up and down. “I like it. You look amazing in it, but I dunno…” She got up and walked around her. “I mean, it’s your choice after all, but I think you should try the last one and compare them first.”
Inej turned to look at herself in the mirror again. “Yeah, it’s really cute, but I’m not sure.” She went back into the dressing room, closing the curtain behind her.
The last outfit was a dress, in a purple so dark it looked almost black. But when you moved the fabric, it shimmered and shone like there were stars woven in it. When Nina had seen it on the hanger, she knew immediately that that was the one.
Inej came back out. She had loved it from the moment she laid her eyes on it. Nina always knew exactly what Inej wanted, even if she herself didn’t know it yet.
“How does it look?” she asked. Then she lifted her chin and said, “Or actually, I know I look stunning in it. Nina, you’re the best.”
“I know.” But her smile went from ear to ear. Inej walked over and hugged her.
“And Kaz will like it too, I assume.”
Inej froze in her embrace. She pulled back to look at her friend. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, the most mysterious boy in the entire school who only one person, not saying who, can get to smile or wear a sequined tie? Nah, I’m just imagining things.” Her eyes shimmered.
“He didn’t ask me, if that’s what you’re trying to say.” But what if I-? she thought. She sighed and sat down next to Nina. “I don’t think he’s a person that goes to school dances. He’ll stay for the concert, because we asked him too, but my best guess is that the minute we’re done he’s going away.”
Nina nodded. And then she shook her head. “For someone that clever, you can be so stupid sometimes.”
“What do you mean, Nina?” Inej perched an eyebrow.
“You said it yourself. You’re assuming he’ll go home. You’re assuming he doesn’t like dancing.” Her voice got serious. “People assume things all the time, but you don’t know it for sure until you’ve asked them. So go, Inej, ask him.”
Inej thought about that. Nina wasn’t the only one that encountered small-minded people. They had talked about it before. And sometimes you think that there’s no way you’ll do the same, but it happens.
“You’re right. I’ll ask if he wants to go to the dance.”
“With you?”
“With me”.

Chapter Text

Nina could hear the people on the other side of the curtains. They were a shapeless crowd of indistinguishable noises. She could feel the nerves tingling down her back, making her heart race.

Jesper was pacing back and forth, moving his fingers in the air, practicing the last notes. He looked stunning in his silver eyeshadow. He had tried to get Matthias to wear some, who reluctantly let him. 

Nina made eye contact with Inej. “You’ve got this!” she whispered, as they could hear the school’s principal announce them.

“Ladieeeees and gentlemeeeen! Or, I mean, dearest students. Let’s make some noise for our beloved high school band, The Crows!”

A polite applause.

Nina took one last big breath before getting in position. Here goes nothing, she thought.

The curtains opened and lights shine in her face. Nina had to squint her eyes. She realised that there are a lot more students on this ball than she had imagined. Like, a whole lot more. Adrenaline rushed through her veins and she’s living for the thrill of it.

“Who’s ready to party?!” she shouted. Matthias counted down on his drumsticks and they opened with Steal Your Heart. 

At first, the only thing Nina could notice were all those eyes staring at her. But, as the song continued, she saw more and more people starting to dance and jump.

They played three more songs - Shipwreck, Let Me Be Your Wolf (Awoo) and a cover of Sweet Caroline for some reason - before heading over to the last one.

“And now,” Nina said, “a brand new song, for the most epic audience ever!”

Jesper played a riff on his guitar. The students cheered.

“Thank you, Jes. This song is very special, because I’ve got two of my dearest friends to sing with me.” She shot a look at Jesper and Inej. “It’s called Here Comes Trouble, and it's about… Well, it's about us.”

She shot a look at Inej, who smiled at her. Then she looked over at Jesper, who grinned, his eyes like two diamonds.

Nina got back behind her microphone at the center of the stage. She glanced one last time at Inej, before giving the signal to start.

You got this, girl, she tought.

We wear read so they don't see us bleed

Jesper emerged next to her to sing his verse. His voice sounded relaxed and he walked around the stage like he owned it. Nina took over again for the pre-chorus.

Oh-oh-oh, here comes trouble.

Jesper joined again and their voices blended perfectly. The crowd was loving it.

Next up was Inej's verse. Nina could feel her heart in her throat.

"There are dogs on the loose", a tiny voice sang out. "There are snakes in the desert."

Nina beamed at her. She was doing it! Jesper gave her a giant grin.

Inej continued singing, with more and more confidence.

They reached the chorus. Matthias, Wylan and Jesper stopped playing, so that only Inej's voice could be heard.

She closed her eyes, and her clear voice filled the auditorium, curling around everyone's ears. The crowd was gaping at her. Was that really that girl they barely saw out of class? Who made herself invisible?

Not anymore.

Jesper and Nina joined again for the last chorus.

The last notes played. Nina's chest was heaving, both with anticipation and relief. She looked over at Inej, but she only had eyes for a dark figure looming near the front of the stage.

The band joined around Nina and they bowed.

- - -

Backstage, they piled up in a huddle. Matthias was getting some drinks for everyone.

"We fucking did that!" Jesper shouted. "What's next guys, global world tour?"

"You know global and world mean the same thing, right?" Wylan said to that.

Jesper threw an arm around him. "Emphasis, my dearest, I was exagerating." He kissed his cheek. "You did amazing, by the way."

Wylan flushed. "You too."

Nina found Inej and hugged her. "Inej! You were incredible! I knew you could do it!"

"I know! I just did that, oh my god!" she reeled, her eyes sparkling.

"And I'm sure that your date noticed you too." She wiggled her eyesbrows at that.

"Oh, he's here as a friend."

Nina gave her a look. "Yeah, sure, and Matthias will do a hopscotch next."

Inej smiled. "I know, but he has so many walls build up around him. I don't really know him yet. So tonight will be a good start."

"Yes", she agreed.

Matthias came back, arms loaded with fizzy drinks. Nina felt her cheeks blush when looking at his face. He did look good in make-up. She would enjoy it while it lasts.

"What are you guys waiting on, let's go dance!" Jesper called out. "See you guys later!" Wylan dragged him along and they went out of view. Inej followed them, probably to go break some walls down.

"You look magical, little red bird", Matthias said.

"You too, love. Thank you." She draped her arms around him and kissed him slowly. "What a night, huh?"

"Do you wanna go dance?"

"In a minute, maybe. Let me just take it all in." She rested her head against his chest.

Some time later, she looked back up at his blue eyes. "You know, I kinda wanna do this forever. And I know that life as a musician is hard. But… would you stay by my side?"

"Always. Where you go, I'll go. And if we're not together, I'll be dreaming of you."

They stayed like that for a minute, before making their way to the dance floor.