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It’s stupid, screams a voice at the forefront of your mind. It’s stupid and impulsive and so, so wrong. It goes against everything you promised yourself the day you finally remembered.
You promised that you would end this quickly, without involving any of your friends from the Other Side. You promised to not be selfish for once in your life, because all you ever did was take, take, take, and look where that got you.
It’s stupid and impulsive and so, so wrong, but the voice that screams this at the forefront of your mind is not in charge after Jun places the lighter in your hands and closes your fingers around it. You deliberately look away from the black mark on your hand, even as you grab his shoulders.
You lean in close and brush your lips gently against his. You can’t see his expression because you’ve closed your eyes, but you don’t miss the quick, slightly shrill gasp that comes from Jun as you quickly pull away. Jun’s eyes are wide and his cheeks are flushed pink when you can finally bring yourself to look, and you feel guilty all over again. The blimp is crashing to the ground, the world is ending, and all you can do is take, take, take.
(Belatedly, it occurs to you that you’ve never kissed Jun before, even on the Other Side – and you didn’t even have the decency to ask for permission first.)
You promised that you wouldn’t be selfish this time, and look where you are now.
It only takes a tiny push to send Jun over the edge like you’d originally planned, and you turn away before you can look at his shocked expression for too long.
Behind you, Maya stands with her eyes wide and one hand delicately covering her mouth – and wasn’t all of this supposed to be for her?
“Go,” you whisper tiredly. By the time you push her out and jump after her, you’ve regained the presence of mind to put as much distance between yourselves as possible.
(Later, Katsuya will assure you that Jun was only surprised, not angry, and he helps you compose an apology note.)