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Hypnos could not believe his good fortune.
A plush, nectar-orange fainting couch had appeared right below him, complete with big, cushy pillows. Tailored to his comfort level, an exact match for his aesthetic taste... This had to be a dream.
He pinched himself. Ouch!
...OK, this had to be a prank.
The shades were feeling whimsical. Meg wanted revenge for his "dodge-more-attacks" comment. Or perhaps Thanatos had grown a sense of humor. Gods knew Hypnos couldn't make that guy laugh. Good things didn't happen to Hypnos.
He carefully searched for wet paint or hidden traps, even getting down on all fours to check underneath. Nothing.
Still, he floated. Afraid to sit down. What if this was a test from his mom, or Lord Hades? The minute his butt touched those cloud-soft cushions, Hades, Mom, Thanatos, and everyone would pounce! Yell in his face! Lazy! Lazy! Lazy! Lazy!
"Hey, Hypnos."
"Hey!" He straightened up, smiling wide as he could. "Redacteds again? You gotta be careful with those."
"You know me," Zagreus laughed. "I can't resist fighting a Redacted."
Rich and warm as the nectar he passed out, Zag's voice was a lifeline for the sleep god. Pulling him from a sea of painful thoughts.
So rarely did the shades talk back, standing in line with their eyes on the floor, or marching right past him to present their all-important claims. When Hypnos said "Welcome," it felt like screaming into a void. His short sarcasm-fights with the prince were a nourishing bright spot in a dull routine.
But something looked off. His head slumped forward. He swayed unsteadily. His eyes wouldn't focus, ringed by small dark circles.
Hypnos frowned. "If you don't mind my saying, you look awful."
Zagreus said he'd felt bad for a long time. Described his symptoms. Clumsiness, slowed reflexes, brain fog... Zag knew gods didn't catch illness, but he bled. Anything was possible.
"I've seen this before," Hypnos remarked. "You're not sick, you're tired. And I know what'll help." He gestured sideways. "Can you believe someone just left this great sleeper seat?! Why not try it out?"
"If I sit, I won't want to get up."
"That's the point of resting, silly!"
He warily circled the couch, as if it would draw a sword and fight him.
"Look, there's nothing wrong with taking a break. Watch." Hypnos flopped backward, bouncing slightly on the pillows. "See? I'm doing it. No one's judging me!" At least I hope they aren't. "Come on, it's comfy."
Zagreus lowered himself with stiff, reluctant movements. Perched tensely on the edge of the couch. Shot a cautionary glance at a certain huge desk. "I'm glad you think it's nice."
Hypnos laughed, "I lucked out. Who'd abandon a perfectly good seat in the middle of the hall?"
"It's not in the middle, it's directly in your spot! You really have no idea where this came from?"
"Like I said, I lucked out."
"So..."
"So," Hypnos repeated brightly.
They talked about everything. Childhood memories happy and sad, favorite books and characters, the glories and pitfalls of past escape attempts... He recalled the early ones. Watching Zag rise form the Styx, drenched and defeated.
Hypnos had wished for the power to heal wounds. Or to fight like buff, perfect Thanatos. Saw himself tagging along, lending strength he didn't have in real life, Hypnos I never would've reached the surface without you...
Instead, he made jokes. Offered some hints. Took a verbal jab and wore it like a badge of honor. For the prince said those words with a grin on his Styx-wet face. That was all the sleep god wanted.
Soon the conversation took a dark turn, toward Lord Hades and a nasty name he'd called Zagreus.
"Hey..." Hypnos soothed. "Don't think that. You're not any of that."
"I know, it just feels like I am."
"Come on. You're one of the best people in the Underworld. If I'm saying it, it's true and stupidly obvious! You know me, giver of annoying advice..."
"You're not annoying, Hypnos."
He blinked in surprise. "...Huh. Well, neither are you. Your father is so wrong about you."
...Silence.
"You believe me, right?"
His answer was a snore.
"Zagreus? …Hey, careful!" Hypnos caught him as he pitched forward, heaving him upright. His head flopped down onto his chest.
"You must be exhausted." Strange that his almost-fall hadn't woken him up. "Your neck'll hurt if you sleep hunched over. I'll lean you back, like so..."
He struggled, his skinny arms against the prince's limp form. He ended up leaning on the sleep god's shoulder.
"...OK. This is cozy." His thick, wild hair tickled Hypnos's cheek. "But I'm not supposed to sit down on the job..."
More snoring.
"Please move?" Hypnos elbowed his ribs. If anything, he leaned closer. "I'll have Thanatos carry you to bed."
Nothing.
"Sorry about this." He shrugged. Zag slid down his body, landing on his side with his head on the sleep god's legs. His eyes still closed. "...Sheesh. I really thought that would wake you up. You're worn out, aren't you?"
No reply. Hypnos watched the steady rise and fall of his ribs.
"At least I'm trapped on a comfortable sleeper seat."
He took the time to update his list, scroll floating safely above the prince's head. It felt rude, bothering a guy who hadn't slept in years... But pen scratches were soothing, right?
With Hypnos' luck, something could go wrong. His pen would explode, drenching them both in ink. Or he'd say something so annoying, Zag would never speak to him again!
That didn't happen.
They passed the hours in tranquil near-silence. Hypnos worked on his list, Zagreus laid in his lap. Poor guy. His deaths seemed to get worse every time. He'd been through so much, been strong for so long. Hypnos shrugged out of his blanket cloak and draped it over Zag's upper body. This person deserved rest, deserved all the warmth and coziness in the world...
Before long, he finished his work, tucked away his pen. Nice one, Hypnos. You know how to illustrate an edge.
He almost wondered if he was dreaming, but he felt the softness of his seat. Felt those scratchy laurels poking his legs.
Good things didn't happen to Hypnos, but nothing bad would happen to Zagreus. Not while they were so close, not while Sleep Incarnate had breath in his lungs to shush people. He'd make sure of it.
As a shade scurried past, he rose a finger to his lips and whispered, "Welcome to the House of Hades."