Chapter Text
Eddie doesn’t totally know how he swims fast enough to get out of the hallway. He’s not sure how he finds his way upstairs or even how he gets out of the boat, but he does.
The only thing, the only stupid thing on his mind right now is how cold the fucking water is.
It’s not until his head is out of the water that he thinks about something else. Only then, when the lights of the handful of rescue boats surrounding him and the rest of the sinking ship, the deafening sound of the helicopters circling around them, the screams from more than fifty first responders all around him, only then does Eddie think of something else.
“Help!” he basically roar, “Over here!” He kicks with his feet in the water and raises his arms as high as he can.
“Eddie?” It’s Hen’s voice that calls for him, from a boat near him. “Eddie!” The boat comes closer and before he can say or do anything else, two strong pairs of hands are grabbing him by the arms and dragging him aboard the boat.
With the forced movement, he lets a very long and strained scream of pain. “Oh my god.” He hears a voice, feminine. He raises his head and finds Bobby and Athena, holding each other, still dressed in civilian clothes. On board with them, there is Ravi, Chimney and Hen, all three looking at him with absolute shock on their faces.
“Eddie,” Hen’s voice is thick and heavy, “Where’s Buck?”
His mouth is dry, “He’s down there.” he says, “the door’s too heavy” he adds, his entire body shaking.
At the same time, another rescue team comes near them. Dressed for the occasion, wearing scuba gear, Hen screams at them to stop and help them, “One of our guy is stuck in the room below! You gotta help him”
He calls for her, “Hen.”
She ignores him and turns to the team instead, “Chimney, call for an EVAC, tell them we’ve got a 30 years old man with potential drowning and another 30 years old man suffering from shock and hypothermia.”
Eddie feels like he might throw up. There are no potential drowning, he calls her again, still weak “Hen.”
She points a finger towards him but keeps her eyes on Chimney, who’s standing on the boat with a hand to his walkie but an unsure look on his face, “Tell them they’re gonna need to be ready for him as soon as they get there!”
Eddie closes his eyes in frustration and screams over all the noises around him, “Hen!”
“What?” she snaps at him.
They look at each other, knowing. His friend looks at him with pleading eyes, almost begging him. The quivering of her lips are begging please, don’t tell me to give up . He inhales and says “The water already filled the room before I left.”
“So what?” She screams at him, hands gripping tightly the boat, “You think someone can die from a lightning strike and come back to life and not survive a sinking ship?” her eyes are shining bright with tears, “If someone can do this, it’s him.”
Eddie wants to believe her, he really does. In other circumstances, he probably would. If Eddie was the one in Hen’s place, he would be saying and doing the exact same things as she is right now.
But he can't. Eddie cannot allow himself any kind of optimism, no hope of any kind. He knew it the moment the door closed and he screamed Buck’s name. He knew it the moment their lips touched, the moment he told him he loved him.
There’s no coming back from this.
Buck’s dead.
Still, they all stare silently into the water as the seconds become minutes. They stare and the pounding noises of everything around them seems to blend into one buzzing sound, surrounding them into this special and unique bubble. When a scuba diver comes up, all of them hold their breath.
When another one comes up, this time holding up something that looks like a six foot tall man with wet curls on his head, they all let out a synchronized sound of relief, “Oh! Thank god!” Hen cries out, reaching her hands towards them, ready to bring Buck back to them.
Eddie’s shaking from his head to toes. He makes himself as small as he can in a corner of the boat, suddenly very much afraid of what’s coming.
The last time he saw Buck, he was alive and telling him he loved him.
If Eddie saw himself from an outsider perspective, he’d say he looks identical to a wounded animal being hunted down, cornered by its hunter and about to be killed. It’s also exactly how he feels.
Nobody is going to kill him, but he might die when he sees Buck’s dead body.
They bring him aboard and everyone starts working on him. Hen screams at Ravi to hand her something, Chimney checks Buck’s airways and starts unbuttoning his shirt. It’s all so very similar to a year ago, when Buck got struck by lightning.
It’s completely useless, Eddie thinks, but he doesn’t do anything to stop them.
Instead, he brings his knees to his chest and stares at Buck while his entire body shakes like a leaf. He feels a hand absently rubbing his shoulder, can’t even tell whose it is. “Eddie?”
Oh, it’s Athena. He looks up to her, she’s got one hand on his and another tightly gripping at Bobby’s, who’s sitting next to her in complete shock as he watches everything unfold. He’s not trembling or crying, not the way Eddie is, but he recognizes the look on his face. Eddie sees it too in Athena’s eyes, hears it in the tone of her voice.
While his friends are trying everything they can to save the life of the man he loves, there are three people in this boat who are already grieving losing him.
He turns to look at Buck. Hen’s excessively crying while Chimney keeps calling for him. In the back, there’s Ravi looking absolutely shocked and terrified at the scene. Eddie can’t stop but think that this is probably the first time he’s losing someone like that.
It’s not Eddie’s first.
It’s Athena who gets them to stop, a firm voice taking over, stopping them. Eddie doesn’t really hear what she says, but it gets them to stop. Both Hen and Chim drop everything and slumps, eyes bigger than ever, mouths open in disbelief. Not a sound on the boat.
It’s at this moment that Eddie feels a sudden urge to move. He’s not sure whether he wants to jump back into the water and go hide in the darkness of the pacific ocean, or if he wants to crawl over Buck’s body and hold him so close they both might break into pieces.
He hesitates briefly before scooching himself near Buck. He doesn’t hover over his body, but rather sits near his head. With shaky hands, he turns his face to him and holds him between the palm of his hands. He touches him like he’s fragile, like he might break. Eddie touches him the same way he would if he wanted to admire him in his sleep and not wake him up.
Eddie can admire all he wants, Buck’s not waking up.
“Hey,” he whispers to him and him only, “I love you too” he says, bringing his cold lips to his forehead. He keeps going, leaving small and soft kisses all over Buck’s face, the same he had before leaving the room, thirty minutes ago.
Thirty minutes ago, Buck would’ve kissed him back , the thought is fleeting and passing.
Eddie’s face is so close to Buck’s he can’t see anybody else. He tries to memorize everything, every mole, every little acne scar and every beauty mark on his face. He looks over and over again at the birthmark, tries to memorize the shape of it, the pink shade of it. Eddie knows he won’t ever see Buck like this ever again.
It takes multiple times before he finally hears his name being called out, but even then, he’s just so focused on Buck that he doesn't move. It’s not unusual, after all, they’ve always been the kind to get lost into each other.
Even death can’t break BuckandEddie apart apparently.
Eddie might be going insane.
“Eddie!” It’s Athena’s voice again who’s calling him, both of her hands on his shoulders. “We need to evacuate. Now!” She tries to tear him away, but he won’t let her. He wants one more minute, one more moment holding Buck’s face close to his. One more, just one.
Someone, somehow, gets him on the freaking helicopter. He doesn't know how it happens, but at some point, he’s seated and attached to a seat next to Chimney and Buck’s body is trapped to the ground, the same way a patient would.
“Oh my god!” A woman’s voice pierce through the cacophony of the helicopter’s wings over them, “Is that Buck? Is he? ”
Eddie briefly registers that the voice belongs to Lucy. He doesn't say anything and he guesses nobody else does, because the next thing he hears is Lucy’s gagging noise and shivering “What the fuck .” she says in pain.
Eddie knows he’s crying, but he doesn't feel it. He knows that he’s shaking and his heart is pounding through his chest and there’s a heaviness in the pit of his stomach, but nothing’s going to come out of him.
He knows the body in front of him is the body of his best friend, dead, but he can’t understand it, not really. The same way he hears everyone around him cry and sniffles and he can hear Hen’s sobbing next to him, Eddie cannot comprehend anything.
Everything’s going so fucking slowly right now. Sound feels heavy and thick, every movement looks like syrup, sticking to everything around him. There’s no way any of this is truly happening.
“Guys,” Lucy screams at them from the cockpit, “We’re here.”
They feel the helicopter touching the ground and the engines being turned off. In any other situation, this would be the moment the team would get to work. Unload the patient, insure that the patient is in safe hands. Congratulating each other by clapping shoulders once a job is well done, a proposal for getting something to eat once the shift’s over, anything but what’s happening right now.
Instead, the entire 118 are completely frozen in their seats. Hen’s tears are fogging her glasses and she’s holding Chimney’s hand so hard his fingers are starting to change color from the lack of oxygen. He doesn't say anything about it.
Athena’s holding Bobby as they both silently cry together. Eddie can see Ravi in the corner of his eyes, his head between his legs, his shoulders slumped and shaking. From the cockpit, Lucy reaches over and brings one hand to Ravi’s shoulder and she squeezes it, a silent effort of comfort, and she stares blankly at Buck’s body still on the ground. It’s what brings Eddie’s eyes back to him.
He looks like he’s sleeping.
Eddie, with shaky hands, unbutton his harness on the seat. There’s no rational thoughts going in his head as he lets himself fall to the ground, his knees banging the floor really loud. He doesn't feel the pain. He crawls to Buck and holds his face in between in his hands. “Baby?” he whispers, a soft kiss on his cheek, “Baby, wake up.” There’s a shocked sound behind him coming from someone, but Eddie’s too out of it to care. He pulls at Buck’s hair, keeping it out of his face, “Buck, wake up.” He orders him, “C’mon, baby. Baby, wake up.” Eddie’s lips quivers as an hysteric laugh begins to creep out of them, “I love you” he says, his heart in his throat, “I love you” he goes again before some hands are grabbing at him from behind.
“Wait!” he pushes the hand away, “I need to tell him.” Eddie cries out, hands grabbing at Buck’s shoulders firmly, “I didn’t tell him,” he says, “I didn’t tell him” he screams as another pair of hands goes around his waist and drags him out of the helicopter. Eddie fights, as hard as he can, and throws his hands and feet up and down, screaming until his voice breaks out, “I didn't tell him” he’s sobbing now, trying to run back to him.
“Don’t hurt him!” Hen’s voice is thin and full of emotions as she steps out of the helicopter and runs towards Eddie, quickly followed by Chimney. “Let him say goodbye!” She screams at them. Soon enough, Eddie isn't the only one with multiple hands over him holding him down.
The next thing Eddie remembers is being pinned to the floor, Athena running towards him, a finger accusingly pointed towards the medical staff as they shove a needle in the crook of his neck.
Everything then goes black.