Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kaveh was truly a… person to live with. Though he was not as unorganized as he looked, but only when it came to his surroundings. Blueprints neatly stacked next to one another, rolled up. Quills and pens always in their designated holders, hair ties and hair clips hidden away in a drawer, always kept clean. Kaveh liked to have things in neat order around him, though the same could not be said about him.

And in all three years of the two living under the same roof, Alhaitham paid close attention to Kaveh. He collected all sorts of things in his head, and when his collection of observations grew, he laid them out to paper. A list of ten items on how to live the most peaceful life possible with Kaveh, the Light of Kshahrewar. 

1. Collect rent (only to respect his wishes) 

Ever since Kaveh moved in, Alhaitham gained a new source of income. Not that he needed it. He was perfectly fine without Kaveh's share of rent, since Alhaitham owned the flat, so the only thing he needed to pay for was water and that small amount of electricity he used before Kaveh started living there. Aforementioned electricity spiked a tad, because Kaveh usually used the late night hours to catch up on some projects he managed to procrastinate until the second after the last. 

However it was, Kaveh always insisted on paying rent, no matter how many times Alhaitham told him that it was unnecessary, so after the first few months he gave up.

“About rent…” Kaveh said, hiding a bit of awkwardness in his voice. 

“It comes out to one hundred-thirty thousand this month”, Alhaitham answered, knowing the question very well. 

“That's… thirty thousand less than last month”, Kaveh noted, shooting a questioning glare at Alhaitham. 

“Something about the electricity, I'd say. Seems like you've come to your senses and started sleeping at actually humane hours. Keep it up, and you'll pay me even less next month”, Alhaitham says, a teasing grin on his face. 

“Hey! Just because you can't function without eight hours of sleep, doesn't mean I can't either! I'm doing very great on four hours, thank you very much”, Kaveh retorts, face scrunched in annoyance. “I'll give you the money tomorrow”, he says with a sigh, dismissing the conversation. 

Truth to be told, the rent really came to thirty thousand less than last month, but it wasn't because of the electricity. What caused the deflation in price was nothing more than Alhaitham's simple… good will, he'd say? But that'd sound wrong, and with nothing else coming to mind on how to describe his newfound urge to not make Kaveh pay a full amount, he left it at that. Though he was sure if Kaveh knew that he paid less than he was supposed to, he'd have gone on a small equivalent of a rampage. 

He'd think of it as Alhaitham taking pity on him, that he thought Kaveh is in desperate need of some sort of a patron saint. Needless to say that none of that was true. Even Alhaitham himself didn't know what the truth was. Something in him simply told him that making Kaveh pay the full amount would be… unfair. It seemed dumb. It was unexplainable, really. He was sure that if it were to be anyone else, he'd even purchase a calendar to remind them when their rent is due. If he'd let a stranger move in, that is. But not Kaveh, no, never. It was intriguing, honestly, because simple reason wasn't enough to explain. 

Was it their friendship? Even the thought left a weird aftertaste in his mouth. They weren't friend, but they weren't exactly not friends either. Surely, once in a blue moon they shared the same viewpoint on something, and those days could be declared a national holiday with how rare of an occurrence they were. Disagreements however… it was safe to say that they had their fair share of that. 

Their worldviews simply clashed against one another, usually so much that not even an entire debate team would've been enough to make peace and have them reach something of an agreement (agreement to be said with the best of intentions. Most people would call it a ceasefire). But that is what intrigued Alhaitham the most; someone who wasn't willing to give up on their views and ideals for others. Kaveh had a strong and unwavering character, and Alhaitham almost liked that about him. Almost. 

2. Do not let him miss a deadline 

Kaveh's habit to overwork himself was not a joke by any means. He pulled all nighters almost every two weeks. It honestly amazed Alhaitham how he was still able to function with rather great efficiency even after almost 48 hours of constant scribbling, drawing and working. 

Alas his mind was occupied by the completion of a project, all the while he was very much capable of sitting above a blueprint for hours on end without getting up. Or when he did, he usually got up to fill his glass with water, or get a miniscule amount of food. His hands never stayed empty, though. A small piece of paper with calculations so thorough that upon seeing them, a person with the average understanding for mathematics would crumble in a second. Yet Kaveh saw through them like no other. 

What he had trouble with is managing to figure out what day it was after an all nighter. It was somewhat characteristic of him, really, but Alhaitham found it to be rather unpleasant to watch Kaveh make up a ten minute long apology to one of his clients when he missed a deadline because he thought he had one more day left. Did he not look outside while working? 

So Alhaitham took up the noble role of being Kaveh’s personal calendar and reminding him. Just to avoid any foreseeable unpleasant events that could take place if Kaveh was to scatter his mind once more. No other reason, that is for sure. 

“You have a meeting tomorrow”, Alhaitham said, out of the blue, laying on the couch. He didn’t bother looking up from his book, but he did note the way Kaveh halted in his steps with a coffee mug in his hands.

“Do I?” the question was pointed towards rather Kaveh from himself than at Alhaitham, and however much it was meant to be left without an answer, it wasn’t.

“Yes. The person you met at the Grand Bazaar a few weeks ago and agreed to redesign something for him, because he found the other architect to be unsympathetic”, Alhaitham reminded. It was like he was reading it from paper, the way he had everything so punctual, “You are finished with that project, no?”

Alhaitham heard steps, then, a moment later Kaveh’s pointer and middle fingers were on the top of his book’s current page, pushing it down until it hit Alhaitham’s lap. Kaveh’s face hovered above his, blond hair falling around him like a golden curtain, slightly tickling at his jawline.

“Oh? Seems the Acting Grand Sage has my schedule all memorized”, he says with a beaming grin.

“Remembering things is part of my forte. Don’t flatter yourself”, Alhaitham pointed out, lifting the book from his lap, resuming right where he left off.

“You are… annoyingly perceptive”, Kaveh huffed out.

“A compliment? Never would have thought you would tell me one”, Alhaitham said with a grin, lowering his book to look at Kaveh once again.

“In your dreams!” came the annoyed retortment, a flustered blush spreading on his face.

“That’s your way of thanking me? It seemed to me that you have completely forgotten about the meeting altogether”, Alhaitham said with a shrug, and almost laughed when he saw Kaveh’s expression, twisted into something full of anger and frustration.

He watched as Kaveh let out a loud sigh, his shoulders slumping. The ridiculous expression from before smoothed into something peaceful, as if something occurred to him in those very moments while he was trying to figure out a witty comeback.

“Thank you”, Kaveh whispered, seemingly on the very brink of embarrassment, “I’ll do the dishes when it’s your turn again”, he offered as a gesture of thanks.

“You meet him at noon for lunch. At Lambad’s Tavern”, Alhaitham adds to the original information, seemingly just as crucial as the other parts.

“Thank you”, Kaveh repeats, a small smile on his lips. Something in Alhaitham twists, but before he could even decide to unwrap that, his mouth acts before his mind.

“They say third time’s the charm if you are ernest in your gratefulness. Can’t hurt to say it once more”, he says, tone as teasing as ever.

Alhaitham doesn’t expect Kaveh to say it for the third time. He never does, but it is fun to watch him fall for it every time he pulls this card. It’s something Alhaitham never gets tired of, really. No matter how quick a study Kaveh might be, some things he just can’t seem to wrap his mind around. This joke for example. It has even become something regular between the two, now that he thinks about it. Alhaitham will always find a way to make him say it twice, and then comes the punchline, and Alhaitham’s almost trademark saying, that he should repeat it once more just for it to be believable.

But then Kaveh slid a hand down Alhaitham’s shoulder and leaned down to his ear to whisper the third “Thank you” for the first time ever. An unexplainable full-body shiver ran through Alhaitham, his eyes wide in both surprise and confusion.

His eyes followed Kaveh as he left the living room towards his study, and for a moment he caught the self-satisfied grin and the slight mischief in Kaveh’s scarlet eyes. He won this round, Alhaitham had to give him that. 

The whole scheme is only to tease, though, anyway. Alhaitham knows Kaveh is earnest whenever he thanks something. Kaveh is not used to receiving things, so when he does, even though it takes him by surprise, it’s always known that those two words will always carry honesty in them. At least known to Alhaitham. He was always the person to give, but never to receive. It was one of the very few things Alhaitham never understood. How can someone give so much and so often that they have nothing left for themselves? It’s absurd. One should only owe oneself, and Alhaitham lived his life through this philosophy. This is usually where he crashed with Kaveh on worldviews.

But he had to admit, it was refreshing to have someone whom he collided with so head on. The other scholars would just nod, not daring to argue with someone of his position. But not Kaveh, and it wasn’t even a challenge of authority. It was just Kaveh speaking his mind in all his honesty and earnestness, and Alhaitham was once again on the brink of almost liking a quality of Kaveh. Almost.

3. Help him out if you can

One of the many things Alhaitham noted about Kaveh was his determination. However, the skill of procrastination he had mastered to the military level was sometimes in the way of said determination. Safe to say that those two clashed head on in such ways that sometimes it caused Kaveh to extend the deadline until the very last second. But no matter how bad it got, he never asked for help. Probably because he somehow knew nobody would be able to catch up to the speed of his brain when it came to his craft

Sometimes it seemed sad, the loneliness of an artist. Alhaitham noticed sometimes how Kaveh was babbling to himself about calculations, different types of materials used for certain buildings. His mind was running at such speed that people with the average intelligence level would not bother listening to him after Kaveh’s monologues stopped benefiting them. That usually meant his clients. They always stopped listening after they negotiated a price. Kaveh pretended not to notice, but the way he halted in his speech and the way his voice got more quiet after each word always had Alhaitham wishing that Kaveh just grabbed them by the collar to demand at least a miniscule amount of attention. He never did. Sometimes Alhaitham thought he should do it, just to see how Kaveh would react

Kaveh’s mind only seemed to slow down whenever he was asleep. Sometimes he was still talking in his sleep, but those words were usually not coherent. Kaveh often left the door to his study open in the evenings, to have some fresh air move through. Whenever Alhaitham removed his sound-blocking earphones, he always heard the scribbling of the quill in Kaveh’s hand

But when that noise stopped for a longer time, Alhaitham always peeked in. Sometimes Kaveh was just taking a break by leaning back in the chair, letting his head fall. He’d sigh loudly time and time again, massage his eyes, trying to muster up whatever energy he had left after another cruel all-nighter.

Other times he fell asleep right at his desk, arms folded neatly under his head, yet somehow his face was smudged with ink. Not to mention his hair (queue a long string of curses coming from Kaveh the next morning when he notices). Alhaitham liked this version of Kaveh, in all honesty. Definitely because he was quiet and finally Alhaitham had some peace for himself without Kaveh’s voice somehow breaking through the noise canceling ability of his earphones. Definitely not because there was something divinely captivating about Kaveh and how his features were all calm, his hair falling over his face in an almost breathtaking way. Definitely not because there was something utterly charming about the steady rise and fall of Kaveh’s chest and the small huffs of his breath

Alhaitham shakes his head, and steps out of the room to get one of the spare blankets from the living room. He decides against waking Kaveh up. Knowing him, he’d scold himself endlessly for falling asleep over the project, nevertheless making a mess of the blueprint. His face and hair would only come second, if not later. So he just confiscates the blanket, tiptoes his way back to Kaveh’s study, and slowly covers Kaveh’s shoulder with the green cover. A soft huff of Kaveh’s breath catches his attention, making him stop every single movement. His pulse spikes to the roof when Kaveh’s sleep talk comes out as something coherent.

“Hai…tham”, he whispers out, and Alhaitham is not sure whether Kaveh is awake and is teasing him, because he’s been caught red-handed in an act of selflessness, or it’s just a weird coincidence. (Though saying your roommate’s name in your sleep would rarely be considered as a coincidence.)

Before leaving the study, Alhaitham takes a quick glance at the blueprint. Or at least the parts Kaveh’s unmoving, resting body is letting him see. His eyes catch over a rather long calculation. It’s unsolved, scribbled over and re-written in multiple places, undeniably Kaveh’s handwriting. It’s clear and neat, something he’d recognise even after not seeing it for decades. Weird thing to think about.

After going through the base equation multiple times, Alhaitham took a few mental images of it. Leaving Kaveh’s study to move to his own, Alhaitham takes a piece of paper and a quill and starts scribbling. Surely, he was never one to study mathematics, but he had a tad bit more than a basic level of understanding to it. Just enough to help Kaveh get one step closer to finish up the project

Though he’d never admit out loud, Alhaitham had to retry a few times as well. New approaches each time, all the same, but still a bit different, and suddenly he understood why Kaveh gave up on this initially. Though it was not entirely scribbled out, which probably meant that Kaveh was going to return to it eventually. He was too stubborn to try out an entirely new way and not go through with what he had originally come up with. This very quality of him was something Alhaitham almost admired about him. Kaveh was innovative, he liked to do things with a new sort of twist to them. This is what caused most of his declined projects, though. But no matter the number of rejections, Kaveh’s resolve never wavered.

After multiple annoyed sighs and muttered curses, Alhaitham had the finished equation on the paper in front of him, scribbled and scratched out just as many times as on Kaveh’s blueprint, if not more. He took slow, silent steps back to the other study, making sure he was being very cautious when he placed the paper down on the table, right next to Kaveh. As he was pulling away, his palm accidentally brushed against the top of Kaveh’s head, blond hair incredibly soft against his skin. Alhaitham was by no means a weak man, but it took some immense strength to not touch again, but this time deliberately. 

And the next morning, while having his morning tea, Alhaitham watched as Kaveh stepped out of the study, eyes still dazed with sleep, hair uncharacteristically messy, the green blanket from last night tightly wrapped around his shoulder. Again, something twisted in him, his stomach fluttering at the sight. Somehow this felt… intimate. He never saw the real morning Kaveh, their schedules differed way too much. This was basically one of the first times he did. 

He watched as Kaveh stepped to the stove, gathering the necessary components to the little coffee maker. Soon enough, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the living room. Something Alhaitham grew to like, even though he was not one for coffee. 

“Thank you for your help”, Kaveh said, his voice raspy from sleep. Another flutter in Alhaitham’s guts. “Lunch is on me today, what do you say?” he asked, turning around with a small smile. One more flutter, because three times’ the charm. His own words are haunting him. 

Morning Kaveh is much nicer, Alhaitham notes. Suddenly, he wishes to see more of this version. He thinks, once again, that he almost likes him. Almost. 

4. Do not let him spend money on useless things from the Grand Bazaar (buy them for him)

Kaveh's company became more and more enjoyable by time. Especially when they weren't in an argument, but those times were rather rare. Though during ceasefire, he was dangerously close to enjoying their time spent together. 

For example, walking through the Grand Bazaar when the streets weren't so buzzing, usually at later hours when residents of Sumeru already decided to rest up and call it a day. The weather wasn't so cruel then with the Sun already taking a dip behind the mountains in Liyue. Alhaitham wasn't one for crowds by a long shot, and Kaveh was probably aware of this. He always decided to invite Alhaitham out with him during these hours. Considerate, Alhaitham thought. 

Alhaitham was mostly silent during these walks, and Kaveh was doing the talking. The only times Alhaitham opened his mouth was to warn Kaveh not to walk straight into a streetlight pole (sometimes he succeeded, sometimes he didn't. He got a good laugh out of it either way). Kaveh's ability to ramble on about the same topic for hours was not to be treated lightly by any means. It was amusing, honestly, that he could go on and on about blueprints and different building methods without stopping. Not that Alhaitham minded, though. He grew to like these rants and infodumps of Kaveh, and before, he could simply block him out. After a while, he started paying attention. He would never reveal this to Kaveh, but he enjoyed listening to him, even though he usually didn't know how to react. 

The only problem with these walks was the location itself. Or more accurately, the surroundings. The Grand Bazaar had one too many merchant stands, and though Alhaitham would simply walk past them, even the ones that called out for him, Kaveh was by no means the same. He had an eye for things that were colorful or shiny, or he thought would fit the interior of their home. Their home. Alhaitham was getting tired of these twists in his gut that usually happened when he had a thought merely involving Kaveh. 

“‘Haihtam, look! These would be able to somehow drag the new couch into the overall color scheme of the house!” Kaveh said, shooting Alhaitham a look. Kaveh was holding up two vases, slightly sunset coloured, a comforting kind of orange. 

Alhaitham recently bought new cushions for the couch in the living room; bright red comforter, small pillows a matching color. Kaveh almost fell to his knees in horror when he saw them, and went on a full ramble on how it doesn't fit other components of the interior. Alhaitham found it incredibly entertaining. 

“Do you mean to say that my choice of furniture does not fit your ideals in my house?” Alhaitham asks, a teasing grin on his face. 

“Oh, I mean just that!” Kaveh says, turning towards him, hands on his waist. Alhaitham has to drag his eyes away from Kaveh's fingers curling around his waist. A tingling sensation swirls in his stomach.

“What, you're planning on ruining my impeccable interior design?” Alhaitham inquires, and Kaveh looks at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“You can't be serious…” he sighs, massaging his temple. 

“I think our home is fine as it is”, Alhaitham shrugs, slightly pressing at Kaveh's wrist to encourage him into putting the vase down. 

“So it's our home all of a sudden, huh?” Kaveh asks with a teasing grin on his face, and Alhaitham's brain short circuits for half a second. 

“It is”, he answers, trying to ignore the warm feeling all over his face, possibly a blush that he cannot seem to explain. 

Kaveh let's out a small laugh and puts the vase down, waving goodbye to the old lady who was shooting judging glares at both Alhaitham and Kaveh. Kaveh was open about his orientation, even back at the Akademiya, so it was a known fact to anyone who has met Kaveh that he had his fair share of male partners. But this openness didn't necessarily bring acceptance with it. Kaveh usually seemed to pay no mind to it, but when such innocent interactions got judging looks or, at worse times, even some aggressive remarks, he'd just fall silent, staring at the ground in front of him. 

It somehow made Alhaitham angry. He himself did not really give much about what others thought of him, and he wanted to tell Kaveh that he should do the same, but he knew it would not be possible for him. Kaveh had too much of a generous heart to just close out others the way Alhaitham did. 

Said generosity showed itself in many ways. For example, as they passed a smaller stand at the end of the main street. of the Grand Bazaar, Kaveh slowed in his steps, then came to a stop, his gaze stuck to the small stand. Rather, a child standing behind the counter, a little girl with dark skin and long, black hair. She had big, colorful earrings, creating a beautiful contrast with her dark brown eyes. She was waving peacefully towards Kaveh as she noticed his staring. Kaveh accepted the invitation, stepping towards the stand with a big smile. 

“Good evening!” she greeted them, smile beaming as ever, “I made these by myself!” she says proudly, holding up an entire tray of earrings and rings, all different colors and shapes. 

“You did?” Kaveh asks, honest surprise and amusement in his tone. He genuinely seemed interested in the products presented in front of him, and Alhaitham stepped closer as well, “May I?” Kaveh asked for permission, fingers reaching towards the jewelry tray, picking up a nice, teal coloured pair of earrings and a ring, the color of the ring’s stone matching the teal of the earrings. 

They were a fine craft, Alhaitham had to admit. Shaped like water droplets, the color was brought out to its maximum, the small copper hook finely bent. Even though Alhaitham was never one for jewelry (the dangling against his skin made him ick in the worst way possible), so he didn't have any real understanding of it, but he knew when he saw something beautiful. Though his gaze slid from the earrings to Kaveh's smiling face rather fast, the same thought, the same word echoed through his mind, beautiful. 

“How much do you sell it for?” Kaveh asked, already reaching for his wallet. The girl’s smile slowly faded, her face blushing as if in embarrassment. 

“They're… not that cheap”, she admitted, voice low. 

“That's not a problem”, Kaveh shrugged, quickly making a quick calculation of his Mora. 

“The pair you're holding, including the ring, would make it to fifteen thousand”, the girl said in the end, doing her best to avoid Kaveh's eyes. Alhaitham's eyes went wide upon hearing the price. “My brother would like to apply to the Akademiya”, she explained, “My parents recently moved from the desert to the city so his original funds went to the house”, she says, a sad smile on her face. 

“Look, I don't have that much on me right now. But I'll come back tomorrow!” Kaveh promises, “Could you put these away for me?” he asks, a polite smile on his face. 

“Of course! Thank you very much!” the girl smiles at Kaveh, her eyes blinking with pure happiness, “They'll look wonderful on you! They match your partner's eyes!” she points out with an innocent smile.

Alhaitham swears he can see Kaveh crumble for a second. Had his pulse not just spiked through the roof upon the innocent suggestion, he'd have even made a remark about the sound that just left Kaveh's throat. 

“They… they really do”, Kaveh agreed, shooting a quick glance at Alhaitham, their gazes locked for a mere second, but it's enough for Alhaitham to simply lose sight of everything as he looks into Kaveh's scarlet eyes. Beautiful, he thinks again. 

As they walk away, Kaveh's shoulder slightly brushes against Alhaitham's, the light touch something so special that Alhaitham has to restart his brain to pay attention to Kaveh rumbling about how it's unfair to have such a small child making bread for the family. If he could, he'd buy all the jewelry from her to help her out and rid her of this burden. But then again, he was so, so far away from being in that financial situation. 

Alhaitham, in the middle of his nighttime routine, was still thinking about what Kaveh said. He is so… generous. Most people he's generous towards, would not deserve it. But this little girl, she does, Alhaitham decides. The kindness and innocence in her eyes reminded Alhaitham of Kaveh when he was younger, during their years in the Akademiya. Some of that innocence faded, replaced by seriousness, and that of an artist, but the kindness remained. Alhaitham was sure that it would continue to be a part of Kaveh until the day he died. Kaveh will remain kind, always, unlike the world around him. 

So the next morning, while Kaveh was still asleep, Alhaitham went back to the Grand Bazaar. He first returned to the old lady who shot weird glances at them. He purchased the vase without saying anything, not even a ‘good morning’, or a ‘thank you’. Not even a bow of his head to show gratitude. Not that he was grateful at all, but he was willing to make this barely-interaction for Kaveh. 

Next, he went to look for the little girl's stand. He followed the exact trail he walked with Kaveh the day before, trying to recite what he said at certain points of their pacing. He realized that has started to happen more often, as of lately. With that impeccable memory of his, Alhaitham managed to remember each and every word of Kaveh. Not that he had any problems of this sort, since his field of work required his brain to work without malfunction. He managed to remember all sorts of conversations, had he tried hard enough. But with Kaveh, it was easier. Kaveh made remembering easier than it usually was. 

When Alhaitham reached the little girl's stand, he slowly stopped in his steps. She was half-asleep in her stand, the tray of jewelry in front of her again. The teal pair Kaveh came to like the previous day was neatly separated from the others with a small sign saying ‘reserved for pickup’. He huffed out a small laugh at the neat handwriting, almost absurdly similar to Kaveh's. 

“Good morning!” the little girl greets him, the bags looking wrongly out of place under her sleepy eyes. “May I help you?” she asks, ready for duty. 

“I was here yesterday, with my… partner”, Alhaitham says, the word leaving a strange taste in his mouth, “He really liked the teal colored set. You have that reserved for him, right?” he asked. 

“Yes, I do. Would you like to take it right now?” she inquired, reaching for a small paper bag, hidden somewhere in the stand. 

“Yes, thank you. Also… the ones with the scarlet color, are they for sale as well?” Alhaitham pointed at the other earrings and ring. 

Unlike the teal pair, the earrings didn't have chains attached to them, they resembled piercings more. They probably wouldn't bother Alhaitham like normal earrings would. Also, he could hide it with his headphones. If Kaveh decided to gift those to him. It's a strange thing, that Alhaitham suddenly wants Kaveh to give the red earrings to him. 

“I would like to buy those, too”, he says. The little girl's eyes lit up, and she reached for another paper bag. 

“Thank you so much”, she grinned as she took the Mora from Alhaitham. She quickly counted them, hands shaking from excitement, “This is… thirty-five thousand, sir. The two together cost thirty thousand”, she pointed out, ready to give back the amount of the overpayment. 

“That was intentional. The rest is for you. I'm guessing that by collecting for your brother's Akademiya funds, you don't get much to save for yourself”, Alhaitham said, and judging by the girl’s expression, he hit the nail right on the head. 

“Thank… thank you so much!” she yelled out, eyes prickled with tears, “Wear them with pride”, she smiled, handing Alhaitham the two paper bags. 

Alhaitham simply bowed his head towards the little girl, then started walking home. He still had a few hours left before he had anything remotely important to do with anyone remotely important. So he headed home, unpacked the vase and the jewelry and put it on the dining table. He settled on one of the chairs next to the table, continuing the book he started a few nights prior. Kaveh was still asleep, the quietness and stillness of the house told that much. 

Once Kaveh woke up, things got a tad bit louder, but still in a comforting way. The sound of water flowing from the tap, the cracking of the coffee machine, Kaveh's light steps all around the kitchen, all combining into a noise Alhaitham associated with calm and warmth. The smell of coffee lingered around once again, and Alhaitham found himself reaching for the coffee maker, pouring a portion into his own cup. 

“Joining me on my journey towards caffeine addiction?” asked Kaveh with a small laugh as he sat down next to Alhaitham. His hair is still messy from sleep, eyes dazed. 

“I wouldn't say so. You're already at the destination”, Alhaitham shrugged, taking a sip from his coffee. He slowly slid the two paper bags on the table towards Kaveh, “I paid a visit to the little girl earlier today. Consider this… a gift”, Alhaitham said, voice shaking in a way he couldn't explain. 

“Ah… thank you”, Kaveh smiled at him, and now it wasn't just his voice that was shaking, Alhaitham experienced a full body shiver, “And the other?” he asked, peeking into the other bag. 

“I thought you'd like those too. They're a bit different in style, though”, Alhaitham explains, and watches as Kaveh holds the ring with the scarlet stone and the earpieces with the same color. 

Kaveh inspected both, then picked up the teal jewelry. He turned to his side, now facing Alhaitham. He held the earrings up in front of him, next to Alhaitham's face. Lifting his free hand, his fingers curled under Alhaitham's jaw. His gaze was bouncing between Alhaitham and the earrings, inspecting both with fierce attention. 

“She was right”, Kaveh huffs out, “They really do match your eyes”, he declares with a small smile. 

Both of Kaveh's hands pulled away. He removed his previous earrings, fumbling as he tried to get the teal colored pair in. 

Alhaitham reached out, carefully took the earrings from Kaveh, his breath almost stuttering as his fingers brushed Kaveh's. He paid little to no attention to the shaking of his hands. One quick motion after the other, and Kaveh was already wearing the new purchase. 

“Thank you”, Kaveh said after clearing his throat, a faint blush creeping at his cheeks. 

Alhaitham was so caught up with his own fast heartbeat and shaking in his gut that he somehow forgot to tell Kaveh to blurt out a third ‘thank you’, and he didn't even realize it until much later. 

But what he did realize is that he likes Kaveh. Not almost , but truly, entirely likes him. And not as a friend. 

5. Listen to his ramblings and lectures (alternative title: get under his skin (it’s funny))

“Alhaitham, you turn around right now and look me in the eyes!” the sudden shouting caught Alhaitham off guard, flinching at the unexpected volume. Regardless, he did as he was told; turned around to look at Kaveh. 

“Something happened?” asked Alhaitham, but judging by Kaveh’s voice he had a few guesses about what the fuss was about. 

“You and your complete incompetence! Have you never learned color theory, for Buer’s sake!” Kaveh yelled, face flushed with frustration. 

Kaveh was holding up a new set of mugs Alhaitham purchased recently, and apparently, without consulting Kaveh. It was probably intentional, however. Missing out on a chance to mess with Kaveh? Alhaitham would rather die, twice. 

The mugs were of the same size and shape, only the colors differed (bright orange and an unnatural sort of blue, to be specific), so much it would’ve needed serious scientific research to find two colors that manage to not fit together. 

“I don’t see your problem”, Alhaitham said, tone innocent. 

“Do not play dumb with me! This is the third time this month… One more and you’ll find yourself getting lectured by me for hours on color theory. Take this as a threat”, Kaveh said, looking Alhaitham right in the eyes, gaze determined. Alhaitham looked right back at him, still trying to stifle a laughter. 

“Fine”, Alhaitham broke the few seconds of silence. 

“What now?” Kaveh asked, dumbfounded. 

“You can lecture me”, Alhaitham clarified, having an insane amount of fun looking at Kaveh’s surprised expression, “What, didn’t expect me to accept your generous offer, Senior?” he asks, tone overflowing with teasing and sarcasm. 

“You and that goddamn title”, Kaveh says, sighing loudly, massaging his temple with his fingers. 

A few days later, they sat down at the kitchen table, Kaveh with a bunch of handwritten notes. They were old, Alhaitham could tell that much. The writing on the paper was nearly not as neat as it would be on a note the current Kaveh would take. Alhaitham was still able to make out what was on the paper, of course, and some of the characteristics stayed the same, standing their ground against the trial of time and change. Change that Kaveh himself went through.

“They’re from when I first started learning art. Before architecture”, Kaveh explains, as if he was able to read Alhaitham’s mind. He poured some leftover coffee for himself, then, for Alhaitham too.

“So they’re ancient”, Alhaitham said, not even looking up from the papers. 

“I am only two years older! That’s nothing!” Kaveh argued, sliding a mug towards Alhaitham. 

“I’m just going to pretend you never said that. Do you know how many things can happen in two years?” Alhaitham asked, “Thank you for the coffee, though”, he adds, smug smile on his face upon seeing how the additional sentence confused Kaveh. 

“Apparently, an asshole like you can be produced”, he grumbled, “And you’re welcome”, he added, sitting down on the opposite side of the table, gathering some of his old notes.

They sat there for multiple hours, with Kaveh talking and explaining, and Alhaitham listening. Sometimes Kaveh stopped and asked questions to test whether Alhaitham was actually listening to him or not. When it turned out that he was, Kaveh got a bit… flustered? He seemed flustered. He was not used to having people listen to him for so long, Alhaitham was aware of that. He probably wouldn’t have listened either, if it wasn’t Kaveh. 

Somehow those almost four hours they spent at the table seemed like nothing. Time reduced to something secondary, and Kaveh’s rambling became his only focus while they were sitting at the table. It was interesting, he had to admit. It was probably something he wouldn’t use in his field of work, but knowledge is knowledge, no matter what kind. Though the way Kaveh presented probably helped the case. 

There was something utterly captivating about watching Kaveh at work or talk about his work. He truly seemed to love his job, even though those feelings were often not mutual. Not with his work, probably just life in general. But when he got to talk about a new project of his, he seemed to forget about every bad thing that has ever happened to him. Or when they passed a building that had a part to it that would go unnoticed by the unknowing eye, Kaveh managed to lock onto it. 

Sometimes Alhaitham caught his thoughts wandering, but the conclusion was mostly the same; there were multiple amusing and captivating things about Kaveh other than how he seemed to make everything more interesting. A round of Genius Invocation TCG for example. Alhaitham would never play unless Kaveh joined too. It was entertaining to play against him, Cyno or Tighnari could never bring that same entertainment to him. 

He could talk for hours on end and somehow he still succeeded in making it interesting. For Alhaitham, at least. Most people weren’t like him. Most people weren’t like Kaveh, either. This probably explained Alhaitham’s feelings for Kaveh properly. He isn’t like most people. And that’s just enough for him. Kaveh is just enough for him. Would he be enough for Kaveh? Is he enough for Kaveh?

With a weird feeling in his chest (oddly similar to annoyance, Alhaitham supposed), he almost started to come to terms with his feelings for Kaveh. Almost. 

6. Don’t let others bother him (sexually?)

Kaveh was popular, amongst both men and women, though the latter almost always failed in catching his attention. In the Akademiya, around the time Kaveh and Alhaitham were seen more and more often, Alhaitham has had multiple rather awkward conversations with all types of female students. Some of them were about Alhaitham himself, inquiring whether he was in a relationship or had his eyes on anyone for that matter. The answer was the same for both; no. Though most people were curious about Kaveh and his relationship status. 

They weren’t particularly good friends at the time (not that they are good friends even now), but Alhaitham was known for his blatant honesty, so if people wanted straightforward answers about anyone, they just needed to ask him. He managed to answer each and every question. Mostly. Except when it came to Kaveh and how people could probably catch his eye. What colors should they wear? How could they strike up a conversation with him? What food does he like? Such simple questions, and yet Alhaitham couldn’t answer them. Back then, it didn’t occur to him that maybe he didn’t want to answer them at all. No matter how hard Alhaitham tried, he couldn’t imagine any of them with Kaveh. They just didn’t fit. 

Would Alhaitham fit? 

In the past few weeks, Kaveh spent his days back at the Akademiya’s library, trying to change his working environment, hoping for the slightest idea concerning his next work. Maybe it would even serve as some motivation to catch up on some deadlines, but he had to be really hopeful for that. 

Kaveh often did this, looking for various places to work at, not limiting his options to the house only. These new places lasted for three to four weeks, and then he looked for a new one. He wasn’t an uncommon sight around the whole of Sumeru city, but where his home was, remained a secret to almost everyone. 

Kaveh was a proud man, on the surface, but he simply couldn’t let others know about his… complicated living situations. So he kept quiet about it around everyone, and had asked Alhaitham to do the same. It was weird, really. Alhaitham had no backhanded intentions towards Kaveh, but knowing that he was in possession of such vulnerable information made him feel a tad bit… evil, he would say, not knowing how to explain. There was something negative about the whole thing, something he couldn’t grasp. 

One day, around twenty minutes after Kaveh arrived home from a rather productive day at the Akademiya library, someone knocked on the door. 

“That’s weird”, Alhaitham muttered and waited for Kaveh to close the door of his study, hiding himself from the outside world. This was an unspoken rule of theirs; Alhaitham waits until Kaveh can remain unseen, and only then he opens the door. 

Visitors were a rare experience for Alhaitham, so to say that seeing a young man dressed in the typical Akademiya Senior uniform was a surprise would be the understatement of the century. Alhaitham stood there for a second with a raised eyebrow, waiting for the Akademiya student to say anything, possibly to state the purpose of his visit. 

“You are… not Senior Kaveh”, he muttered finally. 

“What an observant young man”, Alhaitham said, voice overfilling with sarcasm. The boy turned up unexpectedly, and Alhaitham disliked visitors altogether, especially unannounced visitors. Having his personal space invaded by anyone was a little too much, something he couldn’t deal with on the regular. 

“I thought he… he walked into this house”, the student said, voice genuinely confused. 

“What do you need from him?” Alhaitham asked, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, trying to block the view from the visitor. He heard a door opening behind him, caught a glimpse of Kaveh’s blond hair as he was peeking out from his study. 

“He uhm… I wanted to ask him something. Regarding Akademiya matters”, the student replied, seemingly avoiding eye contact, face buried in a deep blush.

“I am afraid I can’t help you”, Alhaitham says simply, taking a step back to close the door. Just as he’s about to shut the entrance, Kaveh steps out from his study, and walks to the door, sighing deep before opening it again. 

The student is still there, his blush getting deeper when he sees Kaveh at the door. Alhaitham catches a weird look on Kaveh’s face, something between anxiety and a bit of… fear? He’s not sure, but he stays near, standing behind Kaveh, arms still crossed. 

“I don’t think you should be here”, Kaveh says without greeting the student. He sounds confident, but the way his fingers are gripping the doorknob, Alhaitham knows his skin is prickling with anxiety. He even sees the way his others hand twists into the material of the shirt he’s wearing. 

“Why would you say that? You said I can come to you any time!” the student argues, the tone of his voice completely different from when he spoke to Alhaitham. It creeps Alhaitham out, the way this kid talks to Kaveh. 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it”, Kaveh sighed, then, took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, “You said you had a question for me”, he said as a reminder. 

“Yes, for you. The other guy doesn’t need to hear it”, the student said, voice low. Too bad Alhaitham heard it. 

“You said it’s related to Akademiya matters. Doesn’t seem private to me. Also, you’re standing on my doormat”, Alhaitham reminded him, eyes locked on the student, “So you either ask away or leave. Immediately ”, there was something very sketchy about him, Alhaitham knew. Kaveh wouldn’t react this way if there wasn’t anything wrong. 

The student sighed, accepting that Alhaitham was going to stay no matter how he twisted his words, so he seemingly gave up on the quest of getting rid of him. 

“You have been so kind to me, Senior Kaveh. You act around me as if you like me, but you’re afraid to make the first move, so here I am, doing it for you”, Alhaitham felt as the pure second-hand embarrassment crept up on his back, going straight for his head, and he had to hold back a small laugh.

Alhaitham saw as Kaveh’s hand around the doorknob tightened, the end of his fingers going white with the grip. 

“Oh, that’s not… Look, you are a talented kid, really. I was happy to help you out during your project, but I did not mean for you to misinterpret anything”, Kaveh said, tone soft with apology. 

“Come on now, Senior. You know you like me”, he said, voice grossly teasing. Alhaitham was getting sick of him. 

Kaveh shook his head in disbelief, and stepped away from the door. Alhaitham noticed the way his breathing caught up, getting faster and faster each second. His gut twisted, a mixture between anger and worry, so he stepped in front of Kaveh, shielding him from the student. 

“I’m going to ask you one time; leave. It’s not only that you followed him home, which in itself is creepy enough, but now you’re making it even worse. I have a really good friend who is high ranking in the Matra. But if you leave now, and keep yourself away from my home and your Senior, I won’t mention you. Understood?” Alhaitham asked, and watched with satisfaction as the student nodded, face twisted into a scared look. 

Before the Akademiya student could say anything, Alhaitham shut the door, and even turned the key, just for good measures, to make sure. Turning around, he searched for Kaveh, who was now sitting on the couch, trying his best to calm his breathing, inhaling and exhaling, shuddering even in this simple process. Alhaitham slowly made his way towards him, careful in each and every step.

“He’s gone now”, Alhaitham informed, “I don’t think he’ll come back. But keep an open eye at the Akademiya”, he said, sitting down on the couch next to Kaveh. He didn’t dare to attempt a touch, not knowing whether it’d make the situation worse or better. Knowing his own sort of meltdowns , he’d only make Kaveh more unstable if he were to comfort by touch. 

“You aren’t even friends with Cyno”, Kaveh said after some time, huffing out a small laugh, “Even he wouldn’t find this funny, no matter how much he’s into bad jokes”, he said, breathing slowed back to its normal pace. 

“Just a small white lie. He would say things like that in such a situation”, Alhaitham argued. 

“You’re right”, Kaveh agreed, “Thank you. And I’m sorry. I never would’ve thought he’d follow me home. I thought I was clear enough in my rejection the last time”, Kaveh said, voice quiet, as if in shock. 

“It’s nothing. He was disturbing my peace too, but unlike you, my patience is limited. So is my kindness”, Alhaitham pointed out. 

“Your what ? Patience, that you have, but kindness…”, Kaveh said, jokingly, “Never would’ve associated that word with you”, he said, voice teasing. 

“This kindness, you have to earn”, Alhaitham shrugged, but a small smile still crept to his face. 

“Oh, surely” Kaveh laughed, “Full time worker for your kindness, Acting Grand Sage”, Kaveh said, standing up from the couch, bowing his head, voice filled to the brim with irony, “I’ll even do overtime”, he added. Alhaitham just snorted out a laugh. 

Truth is, Kaveh already had Alhaitham’s kindness, without having to work for it. Though next to Kaveh’s own, it was nothing. Of course, he could never be as kind as Kaveh was, at least according to Alhaitham. Not that he wanted to. Alhaitham didn’t joke when he said he thinks that kindness is to be earned. You can’t be kind to everyone by default, because you’ll end up getting used. Somehow Kaveh never seemed to admit it, and always ended up making the same mistakes. 

And yet, Alhaitham never thought he was dumb to do it. It was all part of Kaveh, the very same Kaveh he found himself liking more and more each day. It wasn't almost , he was certain . 

7. Keep his sketches

Kaveh with a pencil behind his left ear slowly became a trademark look of his. When he got out of his study to pick up some snacks or coffee, or when he went to the nearby market, the pencil seemed to magically stay there, held by nothing but a miracle and a few strands of Kaveh's hair. 

Though sometimes he put the pencil to good use. Kaveh was an artist, no matter what label he decided to pull on it. He was born to create with the stroke of a brush, a pencil or a quill dipped in ink. To his biggest regret, he didn't really have the time to indulge himself in the process of creation other than curling over his desk to finish and modify blueprints. 

On the rare occasions he did, Kaveh would sit on the couch of their living room, basking in the sunlight, just sketching while humming a tune. It was a rare thing to have Kaveh sit around for so long, and be so quiet, except for the humming. With his hair tied up in a bun, tongue occasionally sticking to the corner of his mouth in concentration, he provided a scene so beautiful that Alhaitham had the all too similar butterflies in his stomach again. 

The themes of his sketches were always up to his mood. Sometimes he'd just draw something he saw the other day, trying to fully recite all details. He usually managed, his memory was almost as good as Alhaitham's, though usually not when he needed it the most, such as remembering deadlines and dates. But for that, Alhaitham was there to help him. 

“This is driving me insane”, Kaveh mumbled, ripping out another page from his sketchbook. He balled the paper up, tossing it to the basket next to the couch. 

Alhaitham watched him from the divan under the window, his reserved place for reading. It was lit up by sunlight at almost all hours of the day, and it was big enough for him to stretch all his limbs out. He could sit there for hours, not moving an inch while reading page after page. And even though Kaveh was being mostly quiet, he provided an impeccable distraction, but this time it wasn't negative. Alhaitham caught himself peeking over his book more and more often, just taking a quick glance at Kaveh, face scrunched up in concentration, buried way too deep in his sketchbook to notice, even if Alhaitham was going to stare at him for hours. 

However weird it was to admit, he could. He definitely could look at Kaveh work for hours, and probably wouldn't tire of the sight at all. Kaveh was nice to look at, that was a fact even Alhaitham had to acknowledge and agree with. 

“You could just erase the parts that don't work. You're wasting perfectly good paper”, Alhaitham said, eyeing the half-filled basket

“Giving me tips about a sustainable way of living now?” Kaveh asked, voice filled with sarcastic annoyance. 

“You could say”, Alhaitham said, standing up from the divan and he sat down on the floor, next to the couch Kaveh was laying on, “Also, you're making a mess”, he observed, picking up three paper balls from under the furniture. 

“Says you!” Kaveh exclaimed, “You do not get to lecture me about keeping my surroundings clear, because it's your books that have been piling for weeks now!” he said, pointing at the bookshelf behind him. At least three piles of freshly bought books were towering at the bottom of the shelf, all waiting for their rightful owner (Alhaitham) to arrange them. 

“I'll do it later”, Alhaitham shrugs dismissively. He was too busy fighting off the urges to look at Kaveh's discarded sketches. 

“You always say that. You keep delaying and just simply never do it”, Kaveh says with a sigh, returning his attention back to his sketchbook in his lap.

“That's rich coming from someone who puts the ‘pro’ in procrastination”, Alhaitham deadpans, watching with a grin as Kaveh's jaw falls open at the comment. 

“... fuck you”, he says finally, dropping the argument. He huffs once more before grabbing his pencil once again, resuming his work. 

Alhaitham peeks at him for a second, then starts to unfold one of the crumpled papers he picked up from the ground. The sound it makes has Kaveh peeking at the side again, but this time he fully puts the sketchbook down and sits up properly, with his legs dangling off the sova on Alhaitham’s left. Alhaitham observes the unfolded sketch, trying to smooth the paper with his fingers. It was a sketch of a dome, probably one made up by Kaveh's mind, some parts of it were an unusual sight, something architects from the olden days would think of, but Alhaitham couldn't put his finger around it. 

“I don't see anything wrong with this one”, he declared after a few seconds of close observation. 

“Thank Archons I am the architect out of the two of us then”, Kaveh says, and he leans forward, elbows on his knees, “I drew the scalings in size wrong here. I don't like the way they look”, he explains, tracing his finger over the lines he spoke of. 

When it came to his art, Kaveh was a perfectionist. Even if the sketch came out weird, he'd start all over, erasing every trace of the previous version’s very existence. He always aimed for everything to be picture perfect for the first time, even if it wasn't about architecture. He succeeded, most of the time, but the enthusiasm from said successes nearly didn't last as long as the lows of a failure. That explained the basket half-filled with crumpled up paper. 

Alhaitham unfolded one more, and found the same dome, though now from a different perspective. He shot a questioning look at Kaveh, his face dangerously close for a brief second before he decided to look back at the paper in a near-panic state. Still, something in him urged to do the same, to look at Kaveh again, to have their skin almost brushing. It was so tempting, Alhaitham nearly went half-crazy with the urge. And no matter how much he wanted it, he still experienced a full-body shiver when Kaveh slightly touched his left side, his knee meeting Alhaitham’s shoulder, but Alhaitham didn’t pull away. 

“What about this one?” he asks, trying to calm the slight shaking in his hands. This whole ‘Alhaitham liking Kaveh’ thing started to become embarrassing to him. His body was acting all strange around Kaveh, and Alhaitham did not always like it. 

“The whole concept and perspective was wrong. Had to redo the whole thing just to have a clear view”, Kaveh explained, his palm just covering the entire page. 

Alhaitham reached for the third crumpled paper he found under the couch, but before he could unfold it, Kaveh reached for it, and tossed it in the basket. He shot a confused glare at him, to which Kaveh answered with a simple shrug. 

“You said that I shouldn’t make a mess. Changed your mind all of a sudden?” Kaveh asked with a teasing grin. Alhaitham simply reached into the basket and took another paper out. 

He unfolded it with utmost care. Kaveh watched him for a while, then, he decided to go back to sketching whatever he had on his mind, lifting both legs to lay back on the couch. Alhaitham’s left side suddenly felt unexplainably cold, his body missing the contact Kaveh gave him by mere accident. 

The paper Alhaitham chose had an Aranara on it; Kaveh told him about it a few days ago when he went on a little walk to the nearby forest. He said that he only managed to take a brief look at it, but the sketch told the exact opposite of it. It’s been long since Alhaitham saw an Aranara himself, but he remembered how they looked. And the sketch he held in his hand was a picture perfect copy of it.

Alhaitham shot a quick glance at Kaveh, checking if he was paying any attention to him. He was leaning close to the sketchbook in his lap, seemingly buried so deep in concentration that even if someone were to knock down their door, he wouldn’t even bat an eye. Alhaitham quickly folded the sketch in his hands in half, sliding it into the pocket of his pants. He paid extra attention to not make any noise or damage the paper any further than the wrinkles did. 

The next sketch he picked out was a sketch of the Akademiya’s main entrance. Upon closer inspection, Alhaitham realized that it was either an older drawing or Kaveh has the ability to recall pictures and moments of the past. The sketch showed the entrance way before a bigger wave of renovations. It looked just the same as the picture Alhaitham had in his memory, back when they used to go to the Akademiya together. He did the same as he did with the previous sketch; folded it in half with a careful motion and slid it into his pocket, next to the Aranara. 

The next few didn’t pique his interest as much as those two did. They were unarguably nice, each and every stroke of the pencil measured and calculated. All the sketches Alhaitham saw until now, they all felt perfect to him. He was sure though, that if he asked Kaveh about them, he could tell at least ten reasons why they belonged to the trash, and if he had a Pyro vision, he’d surely burn them to ash.

If he could, he would keep them all, he realized. It didn’t matter how, but he wanted to savor them, even though he was sure Kaveh hated most of them. But to Alhaitham, they all resembled the small gap that Kaveh’s perfectionism left between flawless and flawed. It was there, barely, and Alhaitham wanted to peek into that side of Kaveh a bit more. He already had the privilege of seeing a side of Kaveh that most people wouldn’t even dare dreaming of, but Alhaitham was greedy at times, and Kaveh sometimes managed to awaken said greed. 

It was a weird thought, but Alhaitham wrote it on the tab of that very certain part of his brain that was helplessly on the way to falling for Kaveh (sometimes he was sure he was past the point of no return). And that part of his brain wanted more . Wanted more of Kaveh, more of him in a way that he wouldn’t show others. Alhaitham wanted to fully see through the cracks he only got to peek at so far. He wanted to know each and every side of Kaveh so bad, he was practically aching for it. 

“I’ll be back in a jiffy”, Kaveh said, yanking Alhaitham out of his train of thought. It’s probably for the better that he did, because the aforementioned train was awfully close to crashing. 

As Kaveh walked out of the living room, the sketchbook on the couch, left completely unattended, became an object of temptation in less than a second for Alhaitham. He waited for a few moments before reaching for it, his hands scrambling to grab it. All of a sudden he felt like a kid, wandering into forbidden territories. It had a certain thrill to it, that’s for sure. 

Kaveh left the sketchbook open at a design he was working on. It was a rework of a building they walked past a few days ago and Kaveh took huge interest in it, his only remark being that it could be modernized by a few touches only. And he was right, with only the basics on the paper, Alhaitham found himself liking the fictional version of the construction a lot more than the one Sumeru City actually had. 

On the next page, he came across the scenery of a desert sunset. Alhaitham remembered this exact picture; Kaveh took the photo around a year ago, before he had to sell his beloved Kamera to pay a portion of his debt. The colors were mesmerizing, Kaveh somehow finding the exact shade from the picture. Alhaitham slowly traced his fingers over the brushwork. He knows Kaveh works carefully, his art being ever so precious to him. 

When he turned the page to see what the next sketch was about, Alhaitham felt as his breath got caught in the back of his throat. An exact copy of his face was laid out on paper. All the details were perfect, down to the slight bump on the column of his nose to the length of his eyelashes. It was impressive . Not because he saw himself on the page, but because it was so detailed, so carefully curated that Alhaitham was suddenly too aware of the fast beating of his heart. There was something utterly charming about the Alhaitham drawn by Kaveh, something the real Alhaitham never saw in himself. Probably the soft expression that Kaveh decided to give him. Or was he actually wearing that face? 

Something tingled in Alhaitham’s chest, oddly similar to excitement. Was this how Kaveh saw him? Does he want Kaveh to see him this way? He does, he was sure. He took one more glance at the drawing, and for a second he had to fight back the urge to go up to Kaveh and ask him about it, but a moment later he realized it to be a terrible idea. It would probably cause Kaveh to lock himself into his study and never show any of his sketches to Alhaitham, or anyone. And Alhaitham, as he has recently found out, would not like that, at all. 

He heard a faint noise coming from the kitchen, and startled by it, he quickly turned the pages back how he found it, putting the sketchbook back on the couch as fast as possible. Kaveh appeared a few seconds later with two mugs, and the pencil behind his left ear. He handed one of the mugs to Alhaitham, the smell of tea filling his nose in a pleasant way. 

“Thank you”, Alhaitham said, slightly surprised by the gesture. Kaveh sat down on the couch, taking a sip from his own mug (presumably coffee), then shot a questioning glare at Alhaitham. 

“You said something?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I said thank you”, Alhaitham repeated, lifting the mug to his mouth, taking a sip. By some miracle, Kaveh managed to hit the right amount of sugar in it. 

“And now the third, just so I know you mean it”, Kaveh said with a grin almost vicious, and Alhaitham’s eyes widened, “Serves you right, bastard”, with a victorious smile, Kaveh picked up the sketchbook once again, “Walked into your very own trap there. If you can hold still for a second, I’ll just sketch this down, to savor the moment of my triumph”, he said with a small laugh. With the absurdity of it all, Alhaitham laughed with him. 

Kaveh, to Alhaitham's biggest regret, didn’t sketch him in the end, but it was known that his small moment of victory would be treasured forever, if not by Alhaitham, then by Kaveh himself for sure. And he was glad to remind Alhaitham that he was able to trick him, but he didn’t mind. There was something nice about seeing Kaveh thrive with the feeling of victory. The grin on his face seemed childish, and Alhatiham almost said ‘adorable’ out loud. Almost. 

8. Don’t let him fall into misery - mentions/descriptions of panic attacks

If Alhaitham had to pick one trait of Kaveh that he liked a tad bit more than the others, his answer would have been the fact that how well Kaveh knows his own capabilities. He wasn’t always the most down-to-earth person, but he was aware of what he could achieve through art and architecture. He always had a clear sight of his own talents. If Kaveh was sure that he is completely incapable of completing a project, then he simply wouldn’t take it. 

Others are… not this aware of Kaveh’s talents. Some would even call his plans childish fantasies, saying they’re either too complicated or overdesigned. It was rare for Kaveh to simply nod and take constructive criticism. Most times he would get into an argument with his clients, causing them to think that Kaveh was simply not the man for the job. This was mostly the reason why his debt still remained unpaid. 

Kaveh once jokingly said that he was used to rejection. Even people he didn’t have one formal discussion with about a potential project would reject him, saying that Kaveh gives off an unsympathetic vibe. There was even an older man who said no before they even started talking about a plan of renovation because he noticed the eyeliner Kaveh decided to put on that morning. After that, Kaveh’s makeup bag was untouched for three months. 

One afternoon, the two were out in the nearest marketplace. It would have been Alhaitham’s turn to do the groceries, but Kaveh insisted on going with him, reason being he needed to tear himself from work for some time, hoping for a spark of motivation or a string of ideas. They were standing next to a fruit vendor’s stall when a middle aged man walked up to them. 

“Ah, good afternoon, Mr. Bahri!” Kaveh greeted him. Alhaitham shot him a questioning glare upon seeing the stranger, “A client of mine”, Kaveh says quietly, to which Alhaitham answers with a quick nod. 

“‘Afternoon”, the man answers, slightly waving his hand at them. He seems to completely ignore Alhaitham, something he can’t be more grateful for, “It’s a good thing I ran into you”, he says. 

“I completely agree”, Kaveh’s voice suddenly turned professional, dropping the casual tone Alhaitham is used to. It’s weird, something he doesn’t get to hear often, “About the blueprints, I will have them finished up by next week, and then we can-”

“No need to go further than that”, the man interrupted him, raising a finger, causing Kaveh to fall completely silent. 

“Is there a problem with the basics I gave?” the architect inquired, worrying rising in his voice, “I can run through them once more if that will bring us to an agreement”, he said, his speech getting faster with each word. 

“The thing is, I don’t need the blueprints anymore. I have decided to step back on the project”, he declares, and Alhaitham sees as something inside Kaveh gets destroyed. 

“I’m sorry?” he asks as if he misheard the man, voice trembling. 

“Look, kid. The plans are great, but some might see them as overcomplicated. I happen to be one of them”, the man says simply, the word ‘kid’ leaving his voice as if it was some sort of slur. 

“I- That’s no problem at all! I can re-do them, and just like we talked about it, I’ll have them done by next week!” a promise even Kaveh himself doesn’t seem to believe, the uncertainty of his voice, his slight stuttering betraying him. 

“No need for that. I haven’t paid the builders just like I won’t pay you”, the man declares, and even though he probably didn’t mean to be cruel, even Alhaitham experiences those words as gut punches. 

“Please, think again!” Kaveh pleads, seemingly seconds away from begging on his knees, “Under usual circumstances, it wouldn’t be about the money, but right now, I need it. Mr. Bahri, this project is like a last resort to me!” he exclaims, suddenly forgetting his surroundings. 

The man sighed, shaking his head, and Alhaitham wasn’t sure if he said anything. He was too occupied by looking at Kaveh, suddenly too confused to do anything. Kaveh was trembling , he looked as if his knees were about to give out. Once again, he wasn’t sure if touch would help. Hell, it was certain that it’d make things worse since they were in public. 

“I understand”, Kaveh said, after multiple failed attempts, only sounds similar to choking coming out at first. 

“Thank you for your understanding”, the man says, tone awkward, as if he is the one on the verge of breaking down in the middle of the street, “Have a good day”, he bids goodbye. As if having a good day was possible. 

Kaveh watched as the man walked away, breathing labored, picking up speed with each second. He looked at his own trembling hands, then scoffed. ‘Pathetic’ , he muttered. Then, seemingly with all his willpower, he looked at Alhaitham, forcing a smile on his face. Normally, Alhaitham would have found him utterly charming, but this time, he felt a sharp pang in his heart, as if a part of it just shattered. 

“Let’s go home”, he said, his voice low, raspy. Almost broken. He didn’t bother waiting for Alhaitham’s answer, but headed straight towards their house. 

Alhaitham stood there for a second, but then with quick steps, he caught up to Kaveh, holding out a hand, a silent request towards him to hand him the bag of fruits he was holding. Kaveh, without looking at him, obliged. Though it was a short walk, around five minutes, Alhaitham shot quick glances towards Kaveh every ten seconds. He was still trembling, shaking with every step, eyes fixated on the ground, and Alhaitham was ready to catch him if he were to fall, ready to drop everything he had on his hands. 

As they stepped in the house, Alhaitham kicked his shoes off, then pushed them to their place with his feet. Kaveh was right behind him, closing the door, his gaze still low on the floor, hair falling forward. After a last checkup over his shoulder, Alhaitham walked to the kitchen, putting the bag of fruits on the table, but before he got a chance to sort them out, he heard a loud noise from the hall. He rushed back, Kaveh’s fast, panicked breathing making way to his ear, even through the noise canceling headphones. He grabbed the earpieces, sliding them into his pocket. 

Kaveh was kneeling on the ground, one hand braced in front of him, the other covering his mouth. As Alhaitham stepped closer and crouched down, he noticed the tears in Kaveh’s eyes, slowly streaming down his face, then hitting the ground beside him. His breath was heaving, small whines escaping his throat after each inhale. The hand covering his mouth started twitching. 

“Kaveh”, Alhaitham said softly, sitting down in front of him, “Kaveh, can you listen for a second?” he asked, voice quiet, but Kaveh heard him, and answered with a shaky nod, “Good, that’s good”, Alhaitham whispered, “Breathe with me, okay?” he waited for another nod, “Good. Inhale”, he said, and he himself inhaled as well, Kaveh copying the action, “And now exhale”, he said after a short second, exhaling, Kaveh doing the same, “Again, with me”, so they repeated it. 

The same thing went on and on for a few minutes, Kaveh beginning to calm down more and more with each. Once he was able to move, he scooted closer to Alhaitham, silently asking for permission, which Alhaitham gladly granted. His own arms wrapped around Kaveh’s back, while the other man’s arm sneaked around his shoulders, his neck. Kaveh’s hand was still twitching, the unwanted motion slightly hitting Alhaitham’s back, but he took it without complaints. It was nothing, he decided. They sat there for what seemed like hours, wrapped around one another, small sobs still leaving Kaveh every few minutes, his sniffing breaking the silence of the room. 

Alhaitham only saw Kaveh in this state once before all this. Back at the Akademiya, tucked away in some corner of the library. Thinking back, guilt started eating him alive from the inside. When he was the one way too overwhelmed to even think, Kaveh was there to help him. He wasn’t able to do the same then. He knows he can’t make the mistakes of the past right, but now, he thinks he succeeded in the present. At least, he thinks. Kaveh, with his breathing almost back to its normal pace, in his arms, was a living proof of that. 

“That fucking asshole”, Kaveh’s voice was raspy, again, “He made a promise”, he said, shaking his head with a disappointed laugh. 

“He didn’t seem too reliable to me”, Alhaitham admitted, thinking back to the man’s face. Yes, there was something definitely wrong about him, he thought so even before Mr. Bahri has started talking. 

“You say that about everyone”, Kaveh huffed out another laughter. His words were slightly muffled with the way his face pressed into Alhaitham’s shoulder. 

“No. Just only unreliable people”, Alhaitham answered and felt as Kaveh smiled against his shoulder. It sent a tingling sensation up his spine. 

Another set of silence sat between them. Kaveh’s hands were unmoving on his shoulders, unlike Alhaitham’s. He wasn’t the best at comforting people, never even tried to be. Life never needed him to be. Though he lived for learning. He came to the conclusion that it was worth learning for Kaveh, to have the ability to help him. So, as a small experiment, he slowly started rubbing small circles to Kaveh’s back, touch barely lingering. Kaveh seemed to ease to it, so he didn’t stop. It was almost uncanny that he didn’t comment anything on it. 

“I met Dori the other day”, Kaveh said after a few minutes, “She said that it pains her to remind me, but I still owe her. Like I could forget”, he continued, voice bitter, “This is why I wanted Mr. Bahri to stick to the project so bad.”

“Better people will come along”, Alhaitham says, knowing that this is not a way to comfort someone. Kaveh smiles against his shoulder once more, the same tingling running up Alhaitham’s back again. 

“You are right”, he whispers. 

“As per usual”, Alhaitham says, a smug smile on his lips, only widening when Kaveh lightly swats his shoulder. 

All tangled up with Kaveh, Alhaitham finally gets to the conclusion he had been so afraid to reach; he is a goner for Kaveh. But what he also realizes that his initial fear is just simply dumb and unfounded. Even if his feelings are unrequited, there’s something inherently nice about this. It is nice to love Kaveh. Not almost love him, but truly. Truly. 

9. Help him home when drunk

Kaveh being a social person meant one thing: he was set on dragging Alhaitham to socialise as well. Not that he did it often, and without Alhaitham agreeing, Alhaitham just liked to tease. They didn’t really share mutual acquaintances, but the ones they did, they usually met them together. For example, Cyno and Tighnari. They didn’t meet too often with the matra being away more often than being home, but when they did, even Alhaitham enjoyed their time together. 

Their usual destination was Lambad’s Tavern. They’d play Genius Invocation, which almost always resulted in a huge showdown between Alhaitham and Cyno. No matter how much Alhaitham tried to beat the Genius Invocation TCG enjoyer allegations, he never managed. Each time he bested any of the other three, a smug smile would sit on his face until Cyno wiped it off with a nasty move. 

“I’m telling you, he’s cheating!” Tighnari exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Alhaitham. Though his finger was rather unsteady, the alcohol he had consumed taking a toll on him, “He has a deck hidden somewhere, I’m sure”, he grumbled while taking down his now knocked-out active character after Alhaitham had the luckiest throws and pulls for three rounds in a row now. 

“You’re free to tap me down if you want to prove yourself wrong”, Alhaitham said, shrugging while arranging the cards in his hands. 

“Ew, no!” Tighnari deadpanned, shaking his head, his ears almost hitting Cyno’s head next to him, “I’ll leave that part to Kaveh”, he said a shit-eating grin on his face. The matra next to him snorted. 

Kaveh, who was resting his head on Alhaitham’s shoulder until now, suddenly shot up, sitting straight, and for good measure, he scooted away from Alhaitham. His face was flushed red, probably from the alcohol, hopefully from something else , Alhaitham’s unhelpful, slightly wine-addled mind added. 

“Your turn, Kaveh”, Alhaitham said, without addressing Tighnari’s comment. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Cyno and Tighnari exchange a quick glance, but decided to ignore it. Somehow becoming a couple granted them a braincell they shared, adding rather interesting moments to their meetings. 

Kaveh reached for the dice in front of him, lifting the bottle of wine to his lips, taking a rather big gulp out of it while rolling the pieces. Two Dendro, one Pyro, three Cryo and two Electro. 

“You’ve gotta be fucking joking”, he mumbled, words slurred. He was positively drunk, Alhaitham could tell that much, “Can’t do shit with these”, he said, peeking at the cards in his hands. 

Tighnari was only partially right about the cheating part; with how close Kaveh was sitting to Alhaitham, he had a perfect sight at his cards, without even having to shift in his position. Not that he wanted to, but it was like an invitation, and Alhaitham was not one to refuse. Kaveh was far too gone to even notice, anyway. 

Despite being an avid drinker, Kaveh never managed to establish a resistance for alcohol, and he wasn't always aware of his limits either. Unlike Alhaitham, who had a rather high tolerance for it. Sometimes it seemed Kaveh didn't even want to stay within his body's limits when it came to drinking, but at least that was the conscious part of it. It was some sort of an outlet for him, a way to get rid of the stress that sometimes seemed to eat him alive. But even when he drank until he walked like the world would slip from under his feet, Alhaitham took care of him. 

After a few minutes had passed, Kaveh's head was back on Alhaitham's shoulder, his face flushed, once again. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Kaveh to get extremely affectionate and physical when the alcohol got the better of him. Alhaitham never minded it, no matter how much he disliked contact. With Kaveh, it was different. Everything was different with him. 

It was around sunset when their routinely gathering started, and now the clock struck midnight. Cyno and Tighnari left first, with the half-asleep matra’s arm around the forest ranger's shoulder. Kaveh insisted on finishing the bottle he had ordered, and even though he told Alhaitham multiple times that he was free to leave and that he’ll catch up to him later, Alhaitham flat out refused. Mainly because Alhaitham somehow knew that finishing that downing however much remained in that bottle would wind Kaveh into a state similar to Cyno’s, and partly because his own alcohol-fused brain craved for Kaveh’s company than it would fully sober, and Alhaitham simply wasn’t in the mood to argue with his own self and sense. 

They sat there for around twenty more minutes, the bottle being passed between the two, though Kaveh usually took bigger sips than Alhaitham did. They were silent, mostly, Kaveh’s head still resting against Alhaitham’s shoulder, a source of heat that came with an insane amount of comfort. Touching Kaveh was always like this; he runs hot, like a furnace. Alhaitham found comfort in said heat, so much that sometimes he wanted to embrace it, embrace Kaveh. 

“You want to split?” Kaveh asked, peeking into the bottle, hoping that it still had a few drops at the bottom. A disappointed pout on his face when he saw that it was completely empty. 

“I’ll pay for us both”, Alhaitham said, nudging Kaveh’s temple with his finger, waiting for him to lift his head, only standing up after. 

“You’re the best! I could kiss you right now”, Kaveh says nonchalantly with a smile, but Alhaitham felt as if lightning just struck him down. It took all his willpower to walk to the bar without commenting anything on it. 

His hands were slightly shaking as he handed the bag of Mora to the barista, and he knew his entire face was flushed, up top to the tip of his ears, thankfully hidden by the soundproof earpieces. He walked back to Kaveh, trying to gather back some of his sanity that was lost with that simple sentence, that simple joke , almost failing altogether when his roommate smiled at him, face flushed from the alcohol, eyes dazed with sleep. Note to self: drunk Alhaitham is twice as a goner for Kaveh as sober Alhaitham. Good to know, he supposes.

“You ready?” he asked, and Kaveh nodded, standing up. The motion was too fast though, he stumbled in his steps, almost falling back to the chair, “Need a hand?”

“I’ll be fine”, Kaveh shook his head, visibly regretting it, because a slight hiss escaped his mouth, “Oh, I’m wasted wasted”, he observed, stating the obvious. Alhaitham huffed out a laugh. 

The cool air of the summer night served as some sort of a sober-up for Alhaitham, his head becoming a tad bit more clear. The street, basking in the yellow glow of streetlights, was quiet, all residents retreating to the comfort of their own home for the night. 

As they were walking away from the tavern, Kaveh bumped into Alhaitham multiple times, his steps wavering, not being able to keep walking in a straight line. After the third collision of their bodies, Alhaitham wrapped his arm around Kaveh’s upper back, and slightly bowed his head, an invitation, which Kaveh took after a few seconds of hesitation, throwing his arm around Alhaitham’s shoulder. Once again, heat wrapped around Alhaitham’s side, this time in a bigger portion, and it was almost enough to have his knees buckle beneath him. It was comfort he wasn’t sure he deserved. 

Arriving at the house, Alhaitham tapped his pockets for his keys, with this other arm still wrapped around Kaveh, who was now dangerously close to falling asleep standing in place. Alhaitham gently nudged him, opening the door in front of him. Kaveh slipped from his embrace, leaving Alhaitham a bit cold, shivering, his body already missing the warmth of Kaveh. He almost reached out for him, just to turn him around and pull him back, so that he can feel the heat again. 

With a quiet yawn, Kaveh walks in, Alhaitham close behind him. The house is quiet, slightly illuminated by the moonlight from outside through the window of the living room. Trying to kick his shoes off, Kaveh stumbles, causing him to almost fall back, his back hitting Alhaitham’s chest. He giggles, regaining some of his balance, whispers a quiet sorry , but doesn’t move away. No, he presses further into Alhaitham, tilts his head back on until it hits his shoulder, looking up at him with a small smile. 

“Hello there”, he says, eyes dazed, but there’s something in his gaze, something incredibly close to adoration, to admiration, and Alhaitham is so weak in that moment, so weak that he almost believes it. 

“Let’s get you to bed”, Alhaitham manages to say, whispering. He was terrified that if he were to speak loudly his voice would shake. 

“What an idea”, Kaveh grins, lifting his head. He started walking towards his bedroom, steps still a bit unsteady. He looked back at Alhaitham with a raised eyebrow and a smile, “Thought you meant you were coming with.”

This man is going to be the death of Alhaitham, he is willing to bet on it. So he goes after Kaveh, a fluttering feeling in his stomach. Once Kaveh reaches the door, he falls to the bed, face forward. Laying on his stomach, he looks at Alhaitham standing still in the door, and holds out his hand, an invitation for him. 

“You should go to sleep”, comes Alhaitham’s advice. 

“Don’t wanna”, Kaveh argues, shuffling in the bed until he’s laying on his back. Once again, he reaches out, as if he really wants Alhaitham to lay with him. 

“You are going to wake with a headache either way. The sooner you go to sleep, the less it will hurt”, Alhaitham says, knowing Kaveh’s hangovers just as much as Kaveh. 

“I’ll go to sleep if you take my hand and come here. And stay until I fall asleep”, Kaveh grins. Had it been anyone else, the request wouldn’t have been a power move, but since it’s Kaveh, the hit is critical, and Alhaitham loses. 

He takes Kaveh’s hand, long, slender fingers warm against his palm. He climbs into the bed, and Kaveh’s scent practically numbs his brain. It’s something that fills the house every day, something he meets every day, but it’s so strong and vibrant here that he almost loses his mind. Not sure if he hasn’t already. Though probably all his sanity flies out the window when Kaveh scoots closer to him, his forehead resting against Alhaitham’s arm. 

“I’m sorry”, Kaveh mumbles after a few minutes, his previous cheerful tone vanishing without a trace. 

“What about?” Alhaitham asks, confused. 

“All of it, I think. That you had to drag me home. That I am in your home. That I am being a burden day by day”, he lists, voice shaking. For a moment, Alhaitham is sure that he can see tears in his eyes. 

“You are not a burden”, Alhaitham says, fighting the urge to turn to his side to face Kaveh, “I would not let you live with me if you were.”

“I thought you were just being nice”, he admits, to which Alhaitham answers with a laugh. 

“Because it’s a known fact that I am so nice and generous with everyone”, he deadpans, and Kaveh snorts, “Thought you were a genius, Light of Kshahrewar.

“Now you’re being mean. Nothing like the nice Alhaitham I know”, Kaveh says, poking his arm. 

They fall silent again. Kaveh’s breathing turns slower with each passing minute, the rise and fall of his chest becoming even. It’s quiet, it’s calm, and Alhaitham suddenly wants to be stuck in this moment, wants to have this on repeat, like it’s the day of the Sabzeruz Festival. Except that it’s not a nightmare. No, it’s so far from that. 

“Back at the tavern…” Alhaitham whispers, not sure whether Kaveh is awake or not, “You said you could kiss me”, he recalls, the simple memory sending a shiver down his spine. 

Something in him tells that he should regret saying this, that he should’ve stayed quiet. Another part of him hopes that Kaveh is already sleeping and didn’t hear him. And yet another part wants Kaveh to be awake and answer him. 

Kaveh shifts against him, slowly pushing himself up on one arm. So the third part wins. 

“Oh, that’s just a figure of speech. Don’t think too much about-”

“What’s holding you back?” Alhaitham asks. His heart is pounding in his chest with such intensity and volume that for a second he thinks Kaveh can hear it too. 

Kaveh doesn’t answer him, but his gaze is fixated on Alhaitham. It almost burns him, those scarlet eyes watching him with such intensity that he almost crumbles under them. But in the next moment, warm fingers curl under his jaw, slowly tilting his head up, and Alhaitham shakes with anticipation. 

“Nothing, I suppose”, Kaveh whispers, then, he leans down. 

Well, if Alhaitham wasn’t clearly in love with Kaveh from head to toe up until now, he surely is from this moment on. The kiss is slow, it’s sweet, it’s something he wanted for what he realizes to be years now. Kaveh’s lips are soft against his, his whole body’s warmth enveloping Alhaitham like a blanket, and he feels so safe and so comfortable. He still vaguely tastes of wine, much finer than it was from the bottle, and it’s addicting. He smells of Padisarah, almost dazing this close up.

Maybe it lasts for only half a moment, maybe minutes, possibly hours when Kaveh pulls away. He smiles, a soft thing, then he lays his head on Alhaitham’s chest. Thankfully, on the right side, and Alhaitham is so grateful that he gets to keep the fast beating of his heart to himself. 

“Good night, ‘Haitham”, Kaveh whispers, snuggling even closer. Alhaitham’s hand moves on its own, his palm smoothing against the back of Kaveh’s head, fingers sliding into blonde hair. It’s even softer than it looks. 

It doesn’t take long for Alhaitham to be on the brink of sleep, too, his mind still dazed from the alcohol, and well, from Kaveh. His other hand, he brings to his mouth, fingers ghosting over his lips. It almost feels unreal. For a moment he thinks it’s unreal, that all this is just made up by some very creative, desperate and mean part of his mind. But he falls asleep with the thought and knowledge that it was real, and that he did kiss Kaveh. And he falls asleep with the thought and knowledge that it was unlike anything else. And he falls asleep with the thought and knowledge that he wants to do it again. 

In the morning, Alhaitham wakes before Kaveh. He slips from the bed, covering the other with the blanket. He walks to the kitchen, and fills the kettle with water. As he puts it up to boil, he picks out a pack of tea that he purchased specifically to soothe headaches. Knowing Kaveh, he will be up soon, but with a headache so cruel that he will be as good as a ragdoll for the bigger part of the day. He also rummages through a drawer of bandages, balms and medicines, looking for something that can help Kaveh with his anticipated hangover. 

Alhaitham’s prediction was right; a few minutes after the tea was done, Kaveh walked out of his bedroom with a blanket wrapped around his shoulder. He yawns, stretches, the morning light falling around his head like a halo, and Alhaitham has to fight all the urges to walk up to him and repeat the kiss from last night. That comes later, he supposes. If Kaveh wants it, he hopes. 

“Good morning”, he mumbles, voice still raspy from sleep.

He watches from the other end of the table as Kaveh sits down, groans slightly while massaging his temple. His gaze falls to the tea and the medicine prepared right next to it and he looks at Alhaitham with a grateful smile. They sit in silence, Kaveh swallowing the pill, helping it down with the tea. Alhaitham is drinking his own while reading, a different kind of tea in his own mug. He managed to survive the night without a hangover, but there’s a craving in him so strong that it suffices as one. Something he hopes, prays to soothe soon. 

“Who won yesterday?” Kaveh asks suddenly. 

“Won what?” Alhaitham looks at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“The last TCG game”, he specifies, lifting his mug to his lips, taking a long sip. 

“Cyno won, to almost nobody’s surprise. Why do you ask?” he inquires. 

“I uhm… can’t really remember what happened last night. I really skipped past my limits with the wine”, he admits, slightly embarrassed. 

“You can’t recall anything?” Oh, this is bad. This is… soul crushing, Alhaitham realizes. 

“Not really. Why? Did I do something?”, Kaveh asks, suddenly worried. 

Alhaitham doesn’t answer him. Does not want to. Not sure whether he would be able to. Something in him feels as if it has been shattered to pieces, not sure what part of him is that. He felt immeasurably dumb for believing that last night was not unreal. Surely, it happened, but it has been erased from Kaveh’s memory, somehow the past was unmade. Though for only one of them. It was almost real. Almost. 

10. Don’t let him move out. Important. 

Somehow, Alhaitham restrained himself from bringing up that night and what happened between them. Maybe he should have. It would have made things easier. However much it burned him from inside and out, he didn’t say anything. There was something swirling in his chest, similar to anxiety, almost like fear. 

Though when Kaveh announced that he managed to nail down a huge project with a hefty paycheck and wanted to celebrate it, Alhaitham almost refused. He wasn’t sure whether he was ready to have even the chance of that night having another round. Somehow this hurt more than the thought of rejection. But in the end, he accepted the invitation, merely out of respect, and because he was happy for Kaveh. Something he never really experienced with others. But then again, Kaveh was different from others. In every single aspect of his. 

They met at Lambad’s once again, the same company as that night, Cyno and Tighnari joining them. The script was the same, with the matra opening his box of Genius Invocation cards after they downed the first round of drinks. Though Alhaitham had no particular dislike for alcohol, this time it tasted horribly . But he continued to drink, the feel of it somehow becoming a painful comfort in his gut, no matter how much it burned. 

“Tell me about this project, though”, Tighnari said, “What we know so far is that it was big and that they paid you good. Who was the commissioner?” he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. 

“It was a lady from Fontaine, her surname was Monteil. Apparently she heard about me from a Sumerian friend of hers, and when she visited here she looked for me. She wanted a whole new headquarters designed for her company. She works in the fashion industry, so she wanted it to be extravagant”, Kaveh explained, his hand going around in an excited motion. 

“Fontaine, you say”, Cyno echoed, an impressive nod, “They really like to show off. Seems like she found just the person for that.”

“Oh, definitely. Not to mention the paycheck. I had to look at the amount twice just to believe it”, Kaveh laughs, a proud smile on his face. His face was slightly flushed, the wine he had consumed so far taking a toll on him, though he was still gripping the bottle’s neck like his life depended on it. 

“How much are you getting?” Cyno asked, “No need to share though”, he added, out of simple politeness. Kaveh was one to brag when he managed to land a project, no matter the size, so that piece of information would have been shared either way.

“She paid me four million!” Kaveh tells with a self-satisfied grin, it only getting wider when he Cyno and Tighnari repeated the price in unison, their mouths agape, “That means I’ll be out in two weeks”, he said while looking at Alhaitham. 

“Out of… where?” he asked, confused. 

“The house, of course. With this payment, I’ll be able to rent my own place”, he says, as if stating the obvious. Maybe it was obvious, Alhaitham just simply did not want it to be. 

“That’s… nice”, he says, voice low, probably obvious that he is lying. No, it was not nice. Once again, it was soul crushing. 

From the corner of his eyes he sees Cyno and Tighnari exchange an all-knowing gaze, and it’s like they know as much as Alhaitham does. Maybe they do. Maybe he was all open about his feelings in front of everyone except for Kaveh. Is it too late to be honest? He will be out in two weeks, and will bury himself in his work, in different projects until he will be able to repay his debt to Dori. 

With a strangling feeling in his chest, Alhaitham downs the last of his drink, then slides a bag of Mora on the table. He stands up, trying his very best to ignore the confused question Kaveh blurts out

“I don’t feel well”, he says simply, probably another obvious lie, “I’ll go home”, he declares, ready to leave but Kaveh catches his wrist, and even this minimal contact has his mind running circles. 

“Want me to come with?” he asks, real concern in his voice, and Alhaitham’s chest tightens once more

“No need to. Stay here and celebrate”, he says, tone flat. Kaveh is still holding his wrist, his scarlet eyes scanning Alhaitham’s face. Then, with a sigh, he lets go, turning back to the table

“Take care”, he says, and for a second, Alhaitham is convinced that there’s disappointment in his voice. 

Walking home in the dark, Alhaitham’s mind stated the obvious; he does not want Kaveh to move out. He was never a person for change, and this counted as a huge one at that. Kaveh became a part of his life, something he longed for to be permanent. His irrational part, probably madly in love with Kaveh, says that he should try to convince him to stay with him, at least until his debt is paid back. That would make saving money easier, right? 

But his rational part, also undeniably gone for Kaveh, says that he has already made his decision. With the way he announced that he will be moving out in two weeks, he had already found a place, no? It was like he just simply forgot to tell Alhaitham about his plan and that he had already made up his mind and no matter what would happen, he would stick with it. 

Kaveh got home rather faster than he had anticipated. Alhaitham was in his room, sitting on his bed, back braced against the headboard, trying to read, but his mind was unable to focus on the book in front of his eyes. A quiet knock on his door had his heartbeat spiking up. 

“It’s open”, he says. The next moment, Kaveh is standing on his doorstep with a mug in his hand

“I made you tea”, he says with a small smile, something soft, and Alhaitham feels as if he’ll fold in half upon seeing it, “You took care of me when I was unwell a few weeks ago. It’s only fair if I do the same”, he walks into the room, handing the mug to Alhaitham. He takes it with a small nod. 

“Thank you”, he mumbles after taking a sip. And once again, Kaveh managed to hit the exact amount of sugar he usually takes. 

“Are you feeling better?” Kaveh asks, taking a quick glance at the end of the bed, asking for permission. Alhaitham, after half a second of hesitation, nodded. 

He sits down, pulling his knees up, hugging them to himself. He rests his chin on one of his arms, looking at Alhaitham with a smile, a tender thing. Somehow Alhaitham finds the strength to look into his eyes and keep his gaze. 

“A little bit”, he answers the previous question, “You left early”, he observes. It was unlike Kaveh to come home early during a night out. It wasn’t even night, the clock’s arms barely moved over nine. 

“You said you weren’t feeling well. And celebrating without you is not the same”, he says. Alhaitham stays silent.

Instead, he takes another sip from his tea, using it as an excuse to tear his eyes from Kaveh’s. One more second and he would have probably slipped. No matter how much he wanted to fight the thought, this felt like the end of something. How could something end without it beginning in the first place? 

“So… you are moving out”, Alhaitham says, the words slow, sticky in his mouth like they don’t want to come out. 

“Most certainly”, Kaveh says, a proud smile on his face. But there was something about his voice that did not mirror that, “I’ve bothered you enough. I bet you’re glad I’ll be out”, he says, assuming. 

Alhaitham has to fight tooth and nail against his own mouth to not say that none of that is true. However often they had their differences, Kaveh was never a bother. No, Alhaitham was happy to have him inside his house, his life. He did not invite him to live here because he was kind and generous, because Alhaitham does not see himself as that, not even close. But no, he stayed quiet, because saying all this out loud would leave him vulnerable, and he just can’t imagine himself baring his feelings to anyone like that. Not even to Kaveh, while they are talking about how he is about to leave. 

“Why do you think that?” he asked, genuine curiosity in his voice. 

“Well, for instance, it will be quiet. And peaceful. You like that, right?” Kaveh says. 

And he is right, Alhaitham is aware of that. But Kaveh’s voice, the sounds that came with him suddenly seemed like something vital for him to survive on a daily basis. The whistling of the coffee machine in the mornings, his humming while he would sketch, his ramblings about buildings and blueprints, the way his voice would pinch when he was snapping back at Alhaitham with a remark. These were all part of Kaveh that Alhaitham loved, so much that the thought of these suddenly disappearing left him incredibly empty. 

“I suppose you’re right”, Alhaitham answers, lying, for the Archons know how manyth time. 

Those two weeks passed by painfully fast. Seven days before the date of Kaveh’s departure from the house, Kaveh’s belongings slowly went into big wooden crates. Alhaitham helped where he could, though sometimes he found himself delaying each task Kaveh asked his help with. It was a futile attempt at extending Kaveh’s stay, he was aware of that, but there wasn’t anything better he could think of. 

The day before Kaveh moved out, Cyno and Tighnari came over to help with the last of the crates. There weren’t many left, but it was mainly the thought that mattered. Their last meeting wasn’t proper, anyway. Not to mention that Alhaitham was happy to have some people take his mind off of… well, everything. 

With the last wooden crate being put to a carriage, Kaveh got on as well, wanting to arrange the payment with the Eremites he had hired for help. The place he had rented out was not far, as Alhaitham found out. Kaveh would live only twenty minutes away. That’s like twenty minutes further from where Alhaitham wanted him to live, permanently. 

Cyno and Tighnari took advantage of the time while Kaveh was not near. The matra and the forest watcher sat on the couch, across from the divan in the living room. Tighnari had his arms crossed, his face twisted into a frown. Alhaitham watched them for a while, as if he was waiting for either of them to say something. After a few minutes, Tighnari finally spoke his mind. 

“So you are letting him leave”, he said, stating the obvious. 

“Why would I not?” Alhaitham asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Alhaitham, do not play dumb with me”, Tighnari said, voice somehow on the border of scolding and sarcastic. 

“It’s what he wants”, he said simply. 

“Is that what you want as well?” Cyno asked, tone soft. 

Of-fucking-course that’s not what Alhaitham wants. No, that’s the last thing he wants. And it seems like it’s obvious to everyone, except for Kaveh. But telling him to stay, that would be the same as confessing his feelings. He is nowhere near ready for that. Rejection was something Alhaitham normally would not have feared, but this time it’s different, and he feels like his life is at stake with it. And in this moment, with Kaveh out of the house, with his last day as its resident coming to an end, Alhaitham felt hopeless. What would Kaveh say if he confessed? 

“It doesn’t matter what I want”, Alhaitham said, tone flat, honest. 

“That’s…”, Tighnari massaged his temple, his ears flattening down to his head. This usually happens when he’s frustrated. 

“You want it to matter”, Cyno says, a declaration, as if he sees right into his head. Barely noticeable, but Alhaitham nods. 

“I don’t think you should let him move out”, Tighnari says. 

“He doesn’t need me anymore”, Alhaitham argues, the thought he had for a few days now spoken out to the world. 

“With all due respect, are you blind?” Tighnari scoffs, “Of course he needs you! He has needed you for three years straight, and will need you even after that!” he exclaimed, as if he was stating something ever so controversial. 

“Then why is he leaving?” to that, Tighnari can’t say anything. He sighs, looking at Cyno with a helpless gaze. 

“Kaveh thinks you don’t need him”, Cyno says, as if this was a fact, something that Kaveh himself told him, “Which, as I see, is not true at all”, he adds, a small smile on his face. It’s not teasing, not mocking, it’s just simply there. Like he is happy that Kaveh is proven wrong, that all this is just a misunderstanding that can be solved by talking to one another. 

“By Archons, sometimes I feel like if you two were to have a normal, honest conversation, Celestia would fall”, Tighnari sighs, slumping against the couch. 

The next morning came way faster than it should have. Kaveh made them coffee, and decided to peel some fruits with it. The coffee beans they bought together a few weeks ago. It was a mix that a Fontainian merchant sold, it was fused with hazelnut. Under normal circumstances, Alhaitham would have enjoyed it, but somehow this morning felt like doomsday. Maybe it was. 

After they had finished up, Kaveh walked back to his room to gather the very last of his belongings. Alhaitham waited for him in the living room, the inside of his chest tightened up again. Some part of him wanted to listen to Cyno and Tighnari. Some part of him wanted to believe that what he wanted mattered too, that what Cyno said, that Kaveh needs him, is true. And not needing him as in needing anyone , but Alhaitham wanted Kaveh to need him, in a sense that Alhaitham needed Kaveh. 

Kaveh walked out to the living room, a rather big bag stuffed full on his shoulders. He was walking with his hands behind his back, cleary hiding something. He walked closer, a sly smile on his face. 

“I thought I should get you something”, Kaveh said, revealing what he has been hiding, “It’s… somewhat of a parting gift. I thought you’d like this more than anything bought from a store.”

Kaveh was holding up a canvas; a painting of their living room, illuminated by the setting sun. The colors were mesmerizing, just like they looked like on that day. Alhaitham remembered; it was the day he looked at Kaveh’s sketches. Kaveh was right, it really was better than anything all Teyvat’s merchants had to offer. 

“You don’t necessarily have to hang it”, Kaveh said, as if he was giving instructions, “I just wanted to give you something before I-”

Driven by a sudden urge, Alhaitham wrapped both hands around Kaveh’s back, pulling him in for a hug. At first, Kaveh tensed, and Alhaitham’s mind almost went full-panic mode, but the next moment, he eased into it. Kaveh’s free hand was around his shoulder, holding him close. It wasn’t the first time the two had hugged one another, but Alhaitham was never one to initiate. 

“Thank you”, Alhaitham whispered, a lump in his throat, something foreign that he had not met with for a really long time. 

“Anytime”, Kaveh says back, his arm tightening around Alhaitham. 

It was nice like this, Kaveh’s warmth enveloping him once again, tugging around him like a blanket, like a layer of safety. Alhaitham was not sure whether he would be able to let go, even if Kaveh asked him to. Yet, somehow he was able to peel himself away from Kaveh, who was now looking at him with a solemn smile. 

“If you’d ever need company, you know my address” Kaveh grins at him, standing on the doormat, already outside. 

“The same goes to you”, Alhaitham manages, trying his very best to smile back. Not sure whether he failed or not. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Kaveh. 

“Goodbye. For now”, the architect says, his voice shaking at the second sentence. 

“For now”, Alhaitham repeats. His voice stayed steady, but the shakiness in his chest became somewhat permanent. 

And as he closed the door, he was greeted with silence. Cold, unwelcoming silence, like a graveyard. It has been less than five minutes since Kaveh was last in there, but it already feels so different without him. It makes Alhaitham wonder if he will ever get used to it. Something in him says he will not. And this time, there isn’t another part to him that says otherwise. 

The next week, he was an upright mess. He found himself preparing coffee each morning. It always remained untouched, or only one portion missing. It only happened twice, but he caught himself making two boxes of lunch. One he took with him, the other waited for him on the counter until the evening. Untouched.

Something else Alhaitham could not get used to other than the slight shift in his routine was the complete, utter silence of the house. With Kaveh around for the last three years, Alhaitham was used to always having a background noise, let it be the scratch of a quill against paper, the sound slipping out from Kaveh’s study; or a tune Kaveh would hum while making dinner. It was all part of the house, and now, without it, it felt empty. Alhaitham felt empty. 

Each morning when he walked through the hall to the door, he would look at the bowl he had left there to have somewhere to put his keys. Upon seeing two of them, he just sighed loudly, mumbling something about how Kaveh forgot them again. But then, the realization hit him; Kaveh does not need those keys anymore. Kaveh does not need him anymore. 

But then again, what if Cyno was right? What if Kaveh needs Alhaitham the same way Alhaitham needs Kaveh? The matra sounded incredibly convinced, and so did Tighnari. Did they see something that he didn’t? Did they know something that slipped past his attention?

With these questions on his mind and his brain basically on autopilot, he walked down the main street of Sumeru. The gears in Alhaitham’s ever so busy mind were turning with twice their usual speed, trying to figure out something coherent to say when he finally gets to Kaveh’s place. It was still a strange thing to think, that Kaveh did not share a space with him anymore. 

It was a nice neighborhood, the one Kaveh moved to. The square in front of the house was spacious, a fountain in the middle, different trees planted all around. It was bright, the wind was free to move through. Truly a scenery. Kaveh likely already sketched it once, if not twice. Would he be able to work with such punctuality here as well?

With shaking hands and a tightness in his chest, Alhaitham raised a hand to knock on Kaveh’s door. A few moments had passed, almost enough for his bravery to vanish without a trace. It wasn’t even ten seconds, but during that miniscule period of time, Alhaitham almost turned around to leave with all his pride suddenly deciding to leave his body. But then the lock clicked, and if Alhaitham had anything in his mind regarding his confession, it was now out the window. Even though it’s only been around two weeks since he last saw Kaveh, the sight of him has some of his remaining courage crumbling away. 

"Alhaitham? Did I leave something at your place?" Kaveh asks after opening the door. His hair is tied up to a bun, the pencil behind his left ear once again, and now Alhaitham is way too aware that his face is already turning to a lighter shade of red.

"Me", Alhaitham says without thinking. Not the best way to start the confession, he realizes with a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

"What are you... is this some kind of joke?" clear confusion twists Kaveh's face. Alhaitham has to bite back a snarky comeback. He already feels like he's on thin ice, throwing in a playful insult would probably just take his remaining footing. 

"I couldn't bring myself to say this before you left, so I'll just say it now, as it is. I know you value honesty and I fear there won't be another chance for me to be honest with you.”

There, he takes a deep breath, probably the deepest he's ever taken. Tighnari’s words ring in his mind for a second, so for good measures, he looks up at Celestia, and it’s still unmoving in the sky, and definitely not threatening to fall down upon them. 

"After you moved out, the house felt silent. Unbelievably uncomfortably so, with or without the noise cancellation. A silence I could not get used to. An emptiness I could not get used to. And it wasn't just the house, I... I felt empty too. Your presence was, is not replaceable. Not for me", Alhaitham feels himself crumbling under the gaze of Kaveh's widening eyes. He simply avoids eye contact, and it feels wrong to do so, "You challenge me like nobody else before. Your way of thinking intrigues me no matter how many times I might disagree with you. You can slam the door in my face, but please, listen. Kaveh, I-" 

"How can you be so incredibly smart and stupid at the same time?" Kaveh says with a small laugh. Then, he reaches out to grab Alhaitham by the collar of his cape with both hands and yanks him inside, the question remaining unanswered. 

Alhaitham, with the last bit of his sanity remaining, kicks the door closed, and lets himself be dragged into the house, Kaveh's hands still gripping the fabric around his shoulders with immense force. His back hits the wall next to the entrance, and he has a mere moment to look at Kaveh. His face is flushed, scarlet eyes glimmering, and Alhaitham's mind short circuits when he tries to find a word to describe his smile. He loses sight of Kaveh's lips, but in the next second he is reminded of the softness of them, something he got to experience weeks ago.

Indescribable, once again. Somehow Kaveh has the power to reduce Alhaitham's vocabulary to nothingness. His mind is in a very similar state, his only focus now being Kaveh and it feels just right. Kaveh, Kaveh, Kaveh, his brain echoes, as if he's the only thing that's all there is, the only thing that's all there was. For a moment, Alhaitham is so in love that he believes that thought. 

The way Alhaitham's hands are around Kaveh's waist feels just right. The way Kaveh's palms smooth against Alhaitham's shoulder feels just right. The way Kaveh's weight fits against him feels just right. Everything about this feels just right. Everything about Kaveh feels just right. 

Kaveh's hands move to cup Alhaitham's face, pulling him in closer, and he takes the invitation, palms sliding to hold Kaveh by the hips, fingers greedy and pressing into his skin. He feels a shiver run down his spine as Kaveh sighs against his lips, and it makes him want to draw out more. Kaveh's mouth is hot against his, a perfect fit. 

“Will you remember this?” Alhaitham whispers against Kaveh’s mouth.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, but does not pull away. Hell, if it’s possible, he shuffles closer, pressing Alhaitham even more against the wall. 

“This isn’t a first time, you know”, Alhaitham says, finally getting it off his chest. 

“It’s not?!” Kaveh pulls back, face twisted with disbelief. Alhaitham shakes his head, “Who… what… when…?” not knowing where to start, Kaveh just looks at Alhaitham, hoping for an answer, his face flushed deep red with embarrassment. 

“A few weeks ago. When we were out with Tighnari and Cyno. When I paid for our drinks, you said you could kiss me”, Alhaitham recalls, and watches as Kaveh’s eyes widen. He has to hold back a laughter, “After I brought you home, you asked me to lay with you. And then, I asked what’s holding you back from kissing me. You said nothing was”, Kaveh’s face is now almost as red as his eyes. For a moment he was so still that Alhaitham thought he was going to panic. 

“That’s… embarrassing, if we consider my side”, he manages, then he bursts out laughing, “I'm sorry” he whispers, fingers tangling into Alhaitham's hair, “I think I will remember, though”, he adds, leaning in once again, “But I might have to try again a few times. You know, just to make sure”, he whispers, then the miniscule remaining distance between them is gone, his lips fitting against Alhaitham’s. It feels just as dizzying as it did before. He will probably never get tired of it, as long as he lives.

To Alhaitham’s biggest disappointment, Kaveh slows down after some time, only pressing feather-light kisses to his lips. When he pulls away, he wears the very same smile he did Archons know how many minutes ago. 

“It’s my turn now”, he says, and Alhaitham looks at him a tad bit confused until Kaveh continues, “No matter how many times I marked you as the most annoying, infuriating person to ever graze the surface of Teyvat…”

“Ouch”, Alhaitham says, tone humourful, and Kaveh swats his shoulder. 

“I am not finished”, he hisses with a smile, “I could never get you out of my head. You have always had a reserved spot there, and by the time I caught up with myself, you have craved a place for yourself in my heart, too. I love you, Alhaitham. Have loved you for years now, I think”, Kaveh admits, and now he knows what Cyno and Tighnari meant. Their feelings do mirror one another, much more than Alhaitham could ever hope for. 

“Move in with me”, Alhaitham blurts out, not being able to think straight, “I love you”, he adds, Kaveh’s words hitting his mind with slight delay. Kaveh’s eyes widen for a second, then he snorts, leaning forward, his forehead hitting Alhaitham’s shoulder. 

“How much my landlord will hate you”, Kaveh laughs, “You are incredibly lucky I haven’t finished unpacking yet”, Kaveh whispers, planting a soft kiss on his jaw. Alhaitham shivers into it, his hands pulling Kaveh in closer, holding him tighter. 

With how often Alhaitham found himself uncertain about practically anything that involved Kaveh, he had found something that is certain, that is concrete; he loves him. This time it’s not an almost, no, it’s further from that. He knows, and he knows it so well that this is a piece of information craved deep inside his brain, and even more, his heart, and all parts of his soul.