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with this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful

Summary:

"But dreams change..."

Notes:

title from never love an anchor by the crane wives

Work Text:

The bagel really does taste like everything.  Not just the usual everything on an everything bagel, but quite fuckin' literally everything.  Kugrash can taste every flavor in existence and then some.  Fuckin' wild.

He can already feel his consciousness expanding, filling the phylactery and then going further.  He shakes Kingston's hand for the first and last time as a man.  It feels good, seeing eye to eye with someone he respects so much.  He knows he's leaving this city and these people in good, capable hands.  He bites Robert Moses just for the hell of it, relishing in his confusion and pain.

Greed is good.  What a fuckin' joke.

And then he can see it all, the whole universe swirling through him like one of those kaleidoscope things Wally loved as a kid.  What's left of his consciousness, the bit that's still him in whatever way it still can be, aches at the thought of his sons.  He's abandoning them again.  At least, that's how they'll see it.  The guilt is enormous.  But then, what else is new?

He hears singing, just at the edges of his consciousness, in a voice like an angel and he can smell a bacon egg and cheese and the salt of tears.  Pete pulls him in one last time and he sees Wally sporting a full beard and Santa's hat.  He knows that there's no better man to fill the role of Santa.  And he sees David and his grandchildren and, oh, his heart aches.  The last thing he hears before expanding back out to fill the universe is David, calling him dad and telling him he loves him.

Eh, maybe things aren't so bad.  After all, he can still taste the bagel. 

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