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What had helped was throwing himself into the work, the learning, leaning hard into the exhaustion and riding it till morning so dreams didn't come to haunt him. Not those with Rung. Not those with Day.
Helped in so far as to propel Mhok from day to day, that was.
It didn't help in moments like this where he watched Allie kiss her girlfriend hello as they filed out from their shifts. Mhok had no one to go home to now. Not even a friend like Porjai.
Certainly not Day. Day had blocked him on all channels. Mhok didn't know if it was better or worse that the only glimpses he got of Day were from Porjai and Night's socials. The first time he saw his face again, a beautiful profile in the background of one of Night's photos with Poomjai, Mhok's heart clenched so hard it'd felt physical, the hurt, the squeeze of it.
He liked the photo anyway. That was his niece. She was getting so big.
~
Mhok's English was worse than some of the tourists', especially in the first months. So he kept to himself, didn't say much. But people's faces were all the same. Concern. Joy. Anger. It wasn't hard to read them.
Attraction too.
Mhok broke eye contact and moved his arm away. It had been a long time since anyone last touched him with intent. "Sorry."
Good thing the girl, very cute but very much not the person his heart wanted, backed off quickly.
Mhok couldn't help but wonder -- was Day attracting attention too? He had to be. He was that handsome.
~
The first time Night called him, Mhok was half asleep, it being barely five in the morning. Ten in the evening for Night. Mhok stared at his phone, at Night's name lighting up the dimness of his room.
"P'Night?"
The chuckle was decidedly not Night, and Mhok sat up, all the way awake now. "...Day?"
"P'Mhok." He sounded so happy Mhok wanted to punch the wall. Was he the only one destroyed by their breakup?
Then Day sniffled, like he was five cups past wasted and Mhok's heart softened just like that, wondering where he was and if anyone was taking care of him.
"Are you okay? Where are you? Where's Night?"
"Mmm! Don't want my brother. I want P'Mhok."
Mhok sat in the dark, heart pieces trying to re-piece themself back together. "Do you?"
"I always want P'Mhok."
Mhok swallowed down the lump in his throat. He didn't know whether he liked drunk Day or hated him. He was saying all the things Mhok wanted to hear.
"I hurt him. On purpose," Day whispered into the phone. "I knew it wasn't his fault but-"
The call cut off just like that. Mhok stared at it and debated whether he should spend whatever it cost for international calls to call back.
The texts came quickly, making the decision for him.
Sorry, Mhok. This is Night.
Day is wasted. I need to get him home.
Mhok dropped the phone on the bed, scraped his hands through his hair. Fuck. What was not his fault? Did Day really still want him?
~
The second time his phone lit up in the early morning with Night's name, Mhok was prepared.
"Hello?"
"P'Mhok."
"Day."
Day seemed less drunk this time. No slurring. No declarations he may or may not have meant.
They stayed on the phone just breathing for a minute.
"I'm sorry."
Mhok wanted to ask for what? Why? But what came out was a reciprocal, "I'm sorry too."
The silence felt peaceful. Mhok closed his eyes and it felt like sitting in the dark with Day, just breathing together.
At length, Day spoke. "Have a good day, P'Mhok."
"Have a good night, Nong Day."
And it felt like something clicking back together.
~
The first time Day called him from his own phone, Mhok was not at all prepared. Besides, it was just past four in the morning.
"Day?"
"P'Mhok, I'm not drunk."
"Okay?" Mhok waited for whatever sober Day might say.
"I know I have no right to call you. I broke up with you and blocked your number everywhere."
Mhok opened his mouth to say something. Anything. But nothing came out.
"You talked about your sister that day, and P'Mhok, I wanted to tell you it wasn't your fault. Just like my blindness was not P'Night's fault."
Oh. Mhok thought their first real conversation would be about them, the lie Mhok told because he couldn't let go of Day. His throat made a croaking sound and Mhok was dimly aware of the tear running down his face.
"P'Mhok, are you okay?"
Mhok wiped the errant tear away. "Why wouldn't I be? I'm in Hawaii. It's-" aesthetically beautiful but meaningless without you. "I'm fine," he finished lamely.
Leaning heavily against the wall, Mhok closed his eyes and imagined Day was there, right there next to him in his bright orange slippers. "You? Are you okay?"
"As okay as you, P'Mhok."
Mhok chuckled. Yeah. They were such a pair, weren't they? "So, what have you been up to?"
Mhok ended up having to run to the bus stop to make his shift. So he slept much less than he intended. But did it matter? His heart felt light, the lightest it'd felt in ages.
Was the sky bluer today? The wind more welcoming?
In any case, Mhok was all smiles as he hummed around the kitchen.
"Had a good night?" His coworkers teased him.
"Had a good day," he returned.
~
Mhok was just a sous chef. He didn't get called to go out to the diners for either praise or criticism. His domain was solely the hot, quick serve of the kitchen where he was improving with every dish.
So, this was very unusual to say the least.
"Me?" Mhok pointed to himself again. "Are you sure?"
Singha gestured for him again. "Yes, Mhok, you. Come, quickly."
Mhok got a move on, trying to think back on the service so far tonight. Had he messed up somewhere? He didn't think he had.
"Chef Mhok!" Night's greeting was warm and confusing. What was he doing here?
Mhok looked around but there was no sign of Day. "P'Night?"
"I wanted to give my compliments to the chef."
"Sous chef," Mhok said absently.
"You can take your break now, Mhok." Singha slapped him on the shoulder and left to check on another table.
Mhok nodded. Right. So, Night. Halfway around the world. Probably not for him. "Did you have business in Hawaii?"
"Day couldn't come," Night started.
Right. Of course. What was Mhok thinking?
"By himself. At least my mother wouldn't allow it. So."
Mhok swung his head around again. Day. Day was here on this island somewhere.
Night gave up the pretense and jerked his head at the partition. Right. Where else? Day was in their private room, the one reserved for wedding parties and graduations. Reunions.
Mhok stood just inside the door after he closed it, soaking it in. That there was his ex, the love of his life, Day. Even after the long trip, he still looked so damn good.
Mhok took a deep breath and started walking. "Was the service so bad that Sir Day had to travel all the way to Hawaii?"
"What can I say? I couldn't find anyone that was like you."
Mhok stopped to bend down next to him, mouth just close enough to Day's cheek. "Like me? In what way?"
"Rude."
Before Mhok could reply, Day continued. "Did you know that it was rude to stay in my head twenty-four seven and in dreams so vivid I didn't want to wake up?"
Mhok blinked at that, couldn't help the smirk that followed. "Then you're just as bad, Nong."
"P'Mhok, are you accusing me of things you can't prove?"
"Nong Day, are you asking me to prove it?" At Day's fidget, Mhok said directly into his ears. "You're welcome to come watch me sleep."
Day's blush was so pretty and so, so satisfying. Mhok stopped teasing him enough to take his dessert order.
Much later, out on the beach with the waters lapping at their feet and Day succumbing to the jetlag by nods, Mhok marveled, "The moon's beautiful tonight."
Day smiled bright, so bright. "Yes, Phi, it is."
When Mhok said nothing in reply, Day turned to face him.
"You're staring at me, aren't you, Phi?"
"Am I? You'd have to check for yourself."
And Mhok held himself still, patient, as Day cupped his face with both hands, as Day swiped warm fingers over his lips.
"There's no one around, Day. If you wanted to kiss me."
Day started, almost as if he were unaware he was touching Mhok's lips. "Who wanted to kiss you?"
"Well, I want to kiss you."
Day swallowed, his hands twitching, warm. Then, by degrees, Day came to him, trading a smile for a smile, a gasp for a gasp, a tongue for a tongue, until they had to break apart and rest their foreheads together so they didn't plunge head first into a fistful of tickets for public indecency.
When they stumbled back into Mhok's tiny one bedroom apartment, it was a different story. They had a lot to catch up on, after all. A lot.