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Floyd sighs as yet another letter is dropped in his lap. He waves off the critter that delivered it. That’s gotta be the eighth letter this week with his name written on it in overly flowy handwriting, and it’s not even Friday yet. He sighs and puts it to the side to get rid of later. Right now he’s trying to enjoy a night camping with his brothers.
“More fan mail?” John Dory jokes as he finishes getting a spot ready for the campfire. All it needs now is for the rest of their brothers to come back with some kindling and firewood.
“I wish. It’s all been letters from my ex.”
Floyd doesn’t miss the way his eldest brother clenches his fist. “The guy that was mean to Branch for almost 2 decades? The guy that traded all of Pop Village to save his own skin?” John Dory gets angrier and angrier as he goes on. “The guy that lied to you and treated you like shit? The guy that you couldn’t actually leave until he got arrested?”
“I know.” Floyd sighs. “Ever since I called to check in on the jail after the… the talk, he’s been sending these letters. I’ll just throw it out later.”
John Dory snatches up the letter before Floyd can do anything about it and sits down next to him on the makeshift bench. “Hey, I used to read through your fan-mail before you got to it, remember? The things Creep writes to you can’t be worse than the kind of creepy fan-mail some of you guys got. Especially Bruce.” He shudders.
“Alright just—” Floyd crosses his arms and looks around. “Just hide it away before everyone else gets back. Branch was in a good mood, and I don’t want it ruined.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it, brother.” John Dory opens the letter and begins to read. Floyd watches the way his face twists. “Ew.”
“Yeah.”
“What’s this ‘I forgive you’ crap? You didn’t even do anything to him!”
Floyd hugs himself. “Well… I was an important witness in the case against him. And I helped provide evidence…” This is why he avoided reading the letters. Creek always figured out how to twist things into being Floyd’s fault. And even as stupid as that would be at times, he had a bit of a point.
“Yeah, no. No one needs to ‘forgive’ you for that. He got off easy with whatever he got.” John Dory reaches over and pats Floyd’s shoulder. “If he wasn’t in prison, we’d all probably kill him.”
“But I handled it myself.”
“Yeah, you did!”
And that makes Floyd feel better.
Then John Dory’s face turns into complete rage. “Okay, what? What? Is he— oh, I need a second opinion on this before I march up to the Indie Mountains to commit murder, weather and consequences be damned!”
Oh, that would not be a good idea. One, because it’s bad enough that one brother is reading that letter. The last thing he needs is more of them reading it. Two, because there’s a troll in the Indie Mountains who once hiked the Neverglade Trail, and had a kid with bluish skin and turquoise hair. And Floyd does NOT want to confront that whole situation while trying to hold his brother back from a murder mission.
“John—”
“Oh, no!” John Dory holds the letter out of Floyd’s reach as he tries to reach for it. “I am NOT letting you read this trash!”
“What trash?”
To Floyd’s horror, his other three brothers return with sticks and a few foraged berries.
“Floyd just got a creepy letter, is all,” John Dory answers before Floyd can say anything.
Branch furrows his brows. “What, like fan-mail? All the way out here?”
“Mail critters can be very determined.”
Bruce walks briskly over, putting his bundle of sticks to the side. “Is it something, like, risqué?”
“Eh.” John Dory shrugs “I might need a second opinion. I can’t figure out if this creep actually has that much audacity.”
“Wait guys…” But John Dory already hands the letter over to Bruce. The second oldest makes a face.
“Ew.”
“That’s what I said!”
Floyd sighs. Well, at least Bruce can keep John Dory from going on a murder rampage. Branch comes over and puts his foraged things down. “So, dare I ask what’s in the letter?”
“I haven’t read it yet.”
“John Dory, are you reading our fan-mail for us again?” Clay asks with a hand on his hip.
“Floyd was gonna throw it out, and I wanted to make sure there weren't any threats that could be acted on.”
Bruce makes a face. “What even is this? Wait is this from—”
“Yep.”
Branch and Clay share a confused look for a second. They look to Floyd. “Wait, is it from Creek? ” Branch snarls the name out like it’s poison.
Floyd sighs. “I was gonna throw it out.”
“What is he trying to say to you?” Branch reaches out to grab the letter, and Bruce holds it away from him. Branch continues trying to swipe for the letter.
“Oh no. We’re not letting you read this! Not letting Floyd read this, either. I don’t think even Clay should read this.”
“Hey! I’ve read lots of things! I’ve read all kinds of books!”
“I don’t think you’d want to read this, Clay.” Bruce shudders. “Okay, John, he’s in jail.”
“I know.”
“John. John Dory, he can’t do anything from prison.”
“Yeah, and he just asked Floyd to help him break him out of prison!”
Floyd blinks. “What? Seriously? Why? Why would I do that?”
“Gross stuff.”
Branch makes a face and backs away from trying to swipe the letter. “Ew! Gross! No!”
Clay also quickly gives up his offense at being kept from reading the letter. “Yeah, no. I don’t wanna read gross stuff about any of my brothers.”
“Burn it.” Branch starts setting the wood up to start the fire. “Let’s burn it, then bury the ashes.”
“Hang on, now. In every true crime podcast I’ve listened to, when letters like this get dismissed, it ends up being the evidence that could have kept things from going sideways.”
Floyd gives Bruce a look. “You think he’s gonna come out of prison and murder me?”
Branch scoffs. “Wouldn’t put it past him. And I’d like to see him try!” He picks up a particularly pointy stick and holds it up threateningly.
“Wouldn’t it be better to gather evidence and get a restraining order?”
“Thank you, Clay!”
“Tsk! I don’t know. I mean, what is he in for right now? They don’t even know about the attempted genocide, do they?”
Clay puts a hand to his chin and hums thoughtfully. “Well, it would probably add more time to his sentence if we can gather the evidence for it. Plus, if he’s sent enough of these letters, it’d probably make a good case for harassment. Then a restraining order, maybe.”
“Exactly!”
Floyd balks. The idea of a restraining order wasn’t something he’d ever thought about. He’d figured that leaving the Indie Mountains would be enough distance. (or maybe being trapped in that bottle so soon after leaving would be enough distance, both physically and emotionally.)
“Shouldn’t he already be banned from trying to contact Floyd?” John Dory gets on the ground to help Branch get the campfire ready. “No offense, but I think going and teaching him a lesson would be more effective.”
“Though keeping evidence will be good if he tries his whole ‘Oh, I’m a victim! Oh, it was an accident! I didn’t mean any harm!’ schtick.” Branch mimics Creek’s accent and voice. “You know, he shoved me to the ground when we escaped the Troll Tree. And no one believed me when I said it wasn’t an accident. He told me to get out of his way when he shoved me! I could have been trampled!”
Clay makes a face. “Wait. He shoved you during the escape?”
“Yeah. Add it to the list of shitty things he’s done.” Branch passively waves off brushes past that little snippet, as he usually does when he randomly drops something Creek has done to him. “As a matter of fact, maybe we should make a list, then get that restraining order, then we scare him off when he thinks he’s ‘spiritually beyond the bounds’ or whatever.”
“Great! We’ve got evidence! And when we gather it, we can send it to the authorities, and everything will turn out fine.” Clay looks to Floyd and asks, “How do you reach the authorities in the Indie Mountains?”
Floyd is thrown off for a moment. For a second, he’d forgotten he’d been a part of this conversation, and that he wasn’t just watching his brothers converse and enjoying the presence. “I— well— we can sort that out after the camping trip? We’re supposed to be having a nice time right now.”
John Dory puts on a sly smile. “I think going after a guy that’s hurt more than one of us would be great family bonding.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to leave the kids for too long.”
“You could bring them with! Or just the older ones. Family bonding!”
“I’m not taking my kids on a revenge murder quest!”
“Oh! But consider.” John Dory casually gets the fire started without looking. Branch looks at it both baffled and impressed. “We could end up on one of those true crime podcasts you love so much.”
Bruce hums thoughtfully. Clay laughs a bit. “It should be concerning that we’re just cool with a murder here, but considering everything we’ve heard about him so far, I’m not against it.”
Floyd sighs fondly. This is just how his brothers are. Protective and ready to defend each other. Creek will never get to Floyd like he once did, because his brothers would be in the way. Floyd will never get put down and shamed like that again, because his brothers will remind him that Creek is full of shit. Floyd is safe, because he has his brothers now.
(They might go crazy, though, if they find out he’s been keeping all of the other letters tucked away somewhere in his room.)
