Work Text:
Shima was very confident in her attraction to Kae.
Even though Kae’s gaggle of suitors seemed to make it a mission to make fun of Shima whenever she made a move, she didn’t think of herself any less of a competitor. If anything, it made it easier for her to slip under their radar. At the same time, though, it frustrated Shima to think that Kae didn’t truly see her as an option, in spite of them having shared a kiss within the first few hours of meeting each other.
(Which, she admits now, may have been slightly the wrong move. But all’s well that ends well, right?)
If anything, Shima was just happy to be one of Kae’s few girl friends. She thought that being surrounded by all this male attention while being so inexperienced was probably overwhelming, so she could cut some of the tension by relating to her in the way women tend to be able to. Even if she wasn’t as traditionally feminine as Kae, there are just certain understandings that pass between them from time to time that the others don’t get.
On the inside, though, Shima felt unsettled by two facts: not only that Kae felt so at ease with her, but also that her desire to be acknowledged by Kae grew more by the day. She felt antsy about the former because of the latter, and she was upset at herself for the latter warping her perception of the former. It had gotten to the point that Shima had forgotten how she normally acted around Kae, because she was so focused on acting “normal” that she felt like she turned into some kind of robot.
Thankfully, the self-interested boys around Kae hadn’t picked up on this — except for Mutsumi, in a way, but he wasn’t terribly concerned with the competition despite his outwardly caring demeanor.
But how did Kae feel about this?
If you asked her, she would say she felt “weird.” Which was not a great descriptor, and didn’t reveal much considering her nonexistent dating experience.
Kae turned away from her computer and stood up to stretch briefly, taking a break from her weekend homework-neglecting-nostalgia-rewatch of Mirage Saga , which she was not only livetweeting but also occasionally bothering Shima about over text. They were all typical conversations about ships and forgotten filler plot points, but Kae felt a fluttery happiness settle in her heart as she reread some of the messages from earlier in the day.
Humming the OP, she slowly walked downstairs to get a snack. Her brother was thankfully out doing something (she didn’t really care what), so she didn’t have to deal with his teasing about whatever she decided to eat.
Luckily, it seems her mom had brought back some pastries from a bakery she recently visited with some old friends of hers. Kae was struck with the sudden urge to let Shima know this.
[IMG32343.JPG] woaa… look at these cute cakes my mom left over ^_^ theyre so pretty i dont wanna eat them lmao . but i will!!!!
She stood there after sending the text, feeling a little embarassed. They tended not to text each other about frivolous things like that; that was more reserved for Amane, her long-time best friend. Kae figured, though, that maybe it was okay, that if Shima didn’t respond she wouldn’t force it.
Kae still had a few scars from her times of being…less positively received socially due to her weight, but she had worked her confidence up over time. And while her confidence boost definitely was helped by her drastic, practically inhuman weight loss, she had also become more internally accepting of her interests and goals, cultivating them rather than shoving them down. Of course, she wasn’t about to start shouting on rooftops about being a fujoshi, but her fanfiction writing skills were improving and her few twitter character analysis threads had done fairly high numbers in the Mirage Saga fandom. Regardless of her weight, she knew she had a number of things to value about herself.
Of course, these factors were also improved by her new group of friends, particularly Mutsumi and Shima, who seemed to have the deepest understanding of her quirks with no real inward or outward judgment.
Sighing a little bit, Kae set down her phone and reached into the fridge for a mini strawberry bavarois that was calling her name. As she savored it, she resisted reaching for her phone lest anything she read on there taint the taste of this very good dessert.
After finishing she finally caved and woke the screen on her phone.
Shima Nishina
Those look lovely! Good fuel for continuing your marathon…
Kae laughed softly. Of course it all tied back to her otaku interests…not that she was wrong.
Another text popped up.
Shima Nishina
I think I know where your mom may have gotten those desserts. It’s a bit expensive, but if you’d like, I could take you there sometime :-)
Kae felt her face heat up and she set her phone back down on the kitchen counter.
Though it had already been months of incessant courting from a certain group of five, it never got easier whenever any of them directly asked her out. But Shima being a girl dealt a massive blow to her built-up armor around those kinds of situations, and she never knew what to do about it.
As a connoisseur of BL, Kae had of course crossed the line into its sister genre, GL, on occasion, especially at the beginning of her journey. But the stories she found waiting there didn’t soothe her weary soul the way a tender (or not-so-tender) love story between two super hot guys could, and she decided it was simply not for her.
So, while Kae would be well-equipped with an arsenal of moves and cheesy lines in a mythical scenario where she becomes a man and is faced with another man flirting with her, she is completely lost in a situation where the genders are flipped.
Thus, after a series of rapidfire thoughts in which she wished for guidance from the gods, Shion, anybody, Kae gingerly picked up her phone and typed back a response.
ooo sounds good!! we could actually go p soon if youre not busy, i dont have many upcoming plans rn ;-;
And so the minutes ticked by, a date was set, and Kae was left with an unknown feeling poking at her brain that she couldn’t quite place.
The next weekend, Kae found herself sitting on a bench in a beautiful grassy park nearby a fancy-looking shopping center. She had dolled herself up the same as any other date she would have gone on with the guys, but her nervousness felt like it ran deeper today than normal. Twirling a lock of her hair obsessively, she checked the time every ten seconds just in case she got the time wrong. That was a common habit across all of the dates and “dates” that she had been on — but Kae was just generally terrified of showing up at the wrong time, ever since she misread a fan event promo flier and arrived at the venue a day late. The resulting emotional damage was immeasurable.
Luckily, Shima was the type of person to be on time. Maybe she’d developed the habit from being a regular at conventions, or maybe it was her high-class upbringing, but it certainly was a nice trait to have.
Unfortunately, Kae wasn’t thinking about the time when Shima arrived. In fact, she had stopped thinking entirely when she saw her step into her field of vision. Despite Shima’s outfit being fairly unremarkable for a high schooler on her off day, Kae was rattled by how .. cute? pretty? attractive? handsome? she looked.
“They really don’t call her a prince for nothing,” she mumbled to herself.
Shima waved to Kae and yelled over to her. “Serinuma! Glad you could make it!”
When the two finally met up, Kae nodded. “No problem! It was a date, right?”
“Of course, of course, a date…” Shima swooped in front of Kae, making her stumble a bit. “Which means you won’t object to some date-like activities, right? The others aren’t here, after all.”
Kae attempted to stammer out a response, but Shima just offered her hand to her. “Here, hold on.”
“But the cafe is just over there!” Embarrassed by public displays of affection, Kae was hesitant to hold hands. However, something in her mind overpowered her, and she slowly moved her hand out to grasp Shima’s.
Maybe it’s a good thing she’s holding onto me, Kae thought, I don’t think I could do anything on my own right now, these nerves are shocking my system…
Anxious to make conversation, Kae started rambling. “So, I mean, I know we planned this thing already and all but I do want to say I mean I’m really sorry if I seemed like I was being too forward in our friendship by texting you usually we just talk about anime and fan stuff and I thought maybe it’s okay but if you want to go back to just being otaku together that’s fine?”
She was definitely at least a little red in the face.
Shima just laughed. “Serinuma, you’re so cute when you’re nervous. I think I’d say our relationship is a little more complicated than friendship, wouldn’t you? And besides, why would I be upset that the person I like is texting me about their life?”
She was definitely really red in the face.
After grasping at possible responses for what felt like one hundred years and coming up with absolutely nothing, she laughed a little bit and turned away to look at the scenery, panicking internally.
A nudge at her side a few moments later brought her back to reality. “We’re here, Serinuma. Are you okay?”
“Ack! Yes, definitely, thanks, let’s go inside.” Suddenly self-conscious that her hand was probably sweaty, Kae ripped her hand from Shima’s grasp and wiped it on her skirt, smiling up at the other.
Shima tilted her head slightly in confusion but walked into the cafe, graciously holding the door for Kae.
As Shima confirmed their reservation, Kae tried to pull herself together. She found herself feeling slightly nauseous, which didn’t bode well for an afternoon of sweets tastings. As soon as the two sat down, she excused herself to the bathroom for a brief moment alone.
Kae crashed into an empty stall and sat down, tapping through the works of some of her favorite pixiv artists to hopefully calm herself down. However, every time she was slightly calmed, she was immediately brought back to the current situation in a panic. Perhaps the best thing to do in this case was get out and focus on the food. Maybe if she only really commented on what was in front of her, she could get out of this situation without embarrassing herself majorly and still maintain her friendship with Shima.
After washing her hands and splashing her face a bit, Kae returned to the table, where Shima was already examining the menu.
“Ah, welcome back. They have a rotating menu here, so I had hoped there’ll be something new you’d be interested in trying!”
Kae nodded and clumsily picked up the other menu at the table, focusing as hard as possible on the words on the page and not the apparently serenely calm girl in front of her. Thankfully, there were plenty of things to catch her attention. “Wow, they have specialty flavored madeleines? Those look so good! And mille-feuille too…I’ve only had that once before, but I remember dreaming about it for weeks after.”
“It seems everything comes with at least two pieces, so we can order a little bit of everything and share, if that sounds alright?”
“Absolutely!” Having completely forgotten about her emotional turmoil of earlier, Kae looked over her menu and gazed at Shima with sparkling eyes, excited about their upcoming treats.
They agreed on what to order and Shima dictated the slightly long list of desserts to their waiter. After he left, Kae tapped her fingers on the table, trying to think of interesting conversation topics. “Any new cosplay plans?”
Shima pulled out her phone and started vigorously tapping at the screen. “I’ve been working on someone from Red Exorcist lately, and I’m thinking about maybe doing a cosplay from Seraph of the Beginning , but I try to focus on only making one at a time during the school year,” She turned the screen toward Kae and started scrolling through what seemed like sewing progress photos.
“That’s so impressive…I still can’t believe how skilled you are at making cosplays. I can’t wait to see how this one turns out!” Finally back in her element, Kae felt less nervous as the conversation started to flow more naturally.
“Happy to have your support, Serinuma. How are your recent works faring online?” Shima’s eyes gleamed with a bit of a mischievous glint to them. Ever since their fanfiction battle, while Shima had backed down in the competition aspect, she found it a little funny that it had fueled a fire in Kae to continue writing.
Opting to ignore Shima’s playful tone, Kae smiled. “I’m working on the next chapter in my long, ongoing series, but I’m thinking of writing some oneshots to keep myself fresh too! I have a list of stories I want to write at some point, but I always get too distracted to actually write…”
“Well, discipline is an important part of any creative pursuit.”
“Hey! I like my update schedule quite a bit, thank you.”
Shima laughed. “I feel like calling it a schedule isn’t quite accurate, but your dedication is admirable. I love that about you.”
And there goes the comfortable atmosphere, at least for Kae. She shifted in her seat a bit and tried to appear unphased. “Do you read my work?”
“Some of it, though we did go over this — your pairings don’t exactly align with my viewpoints…”
Kae waved her hand around. “Right, right, let’s not do this again. Glad to have the approval of one of my idols, though.”
Shima felt the tips of her ears turn red. “I do think you calling me your idol still is a bit funny, considering we’re actually friends now.”
“It’s only natural! Even if we’re friends, I have to show respect to someone who influenced so much of my Mirage Saga experience!”
Plates began arriving to the table, and soon both Kae and Shima were caught up in a world of sugary decadence.
“I’m not really the type to take pictures of non-otaku things, but I guess just this once…” Kae positioned her phone to snap a photo of some of the desserts at their table before quickly snatching one up to try. “Oooo this is so good! And the chocolate is so rich!”
Shima gazed lovingly at Kae, basking in her happiness, before grabbing a dessert of her own. “You’re right, it’s delicious! I’m glad we came here.”
As the two tried out the copious pastries and cakes that they ordered, they chatted away about various otaku topics that particularly Kae was itching to talk about, particularly because she had spent most of her time in the past week with the boys who weren’t typically very interested in her hobbies even if they were accepting of them.
However, all of that came to a grinding halt as they neared the finish line with their pastry consumption, when Shima nervously asked a question.
“Serinuma…I know you spend all your time scouring BL, but you do understand that gay people are actually real, correct?”
Kae jumped a little bit in her seat. “Of course I do! What kind of question is that?”
“Oh, right, yeah, sorry.” Shima scratched her neck and laughed a little bit. “I just…well. Maybe we should discuss this outside.”
Any of the unease Kae felt was replaced by confusion. The waiter came back with the bill and they sat in silence for a moment.
“You don’t think I’m homophobic or anything, right? You know, I am upset that gay marriage isn’t recognized legally here…” Kae sipped her water nervously, trying to look anywhere but right at Shima.
Shima winced a bit and shook her head. “No, that’s not why. But…” She put her card on top of the check and pushed it to the side of the table. “I don’t want to talk about it here. Let’s wait until we’re done, okay?”
So, after the bill was paid, the two ventured outside, back over to the park where Kae had been waiting a few hours ago. The sunset bathed everything in shades of orange, and the two sat next to each other on a bench for a while, feeling the warm breeze on their faces.
“So, what didn’t you want to tell me inside the cafe?” Kae turned her inquisitive eyes on Shima in earnest, trying to understand.
Shima looked down at her lap, and as the seconds ticked by it seemed like her ‘prince’ persona faded away into a more vulnerable presentation of herself.
“...you know that I like you, right? Romantically.” Shima continued to focus on her legs as if they were the most interesting things in the world.
“Well, yes—” Kae was swiftly cut off.
“I’m asking because it seems like you don’t truly understand what I mean when I say that. You blush, and you giggle, and you act embarrassed, but unlike the others, I can’t ever act with the assurance that you understand that I’m pursuing you, because I don’t even know if you could like me back.”
Kae was speechless. The normally assured speech she heard from Shima had been replaced by a tone that was honest and slightly insecure, but conveyed emotions she’d never really received from her before.
Rubbing at her arm, Kae tried to say something constructive, at least. “To be fair…I don’t even know what it feels like to like someone. I’m new at all of this, and I’m not exactly a shoujo manga reader, I don’t have a lot to go on!” She forced out a small laugh.
“We kissed once, right?!” Shima blurted out. The tips of her ears were red again.
“I mean, I didn’t really know you…” Kae didn’t exactly look back at that moment with disgust, but she definitely hadn’t filed the experience into the ‘romantic’ category because it was so startling.
“Well,” Kae felt Shima’s arm move and her fingers dust along her jawline and turned towards her. “if we did it again, would it help you figure things out?”
Even at her most vulnerable, it seemed Shima was still pretty smooth. Kae wasn’t sure what things she was supposed to be figuring out, but before rational thought could take over she was nodding and leaning in.
When their lips softly landed together, Kae was first overcome with fear; her last kiss was more one-sided than anything, so she’d never had to reciprocate before. Thankfully the kiss itself didn’t last that long. Once she had broken away, though, she felt as though she had been smacked down by a wave of emotion and felt the need to run.
Since her rational thought started to return, she simply turned away from Shima instead and took deep, ragged breaths trying to process what was going through her head.
“Serinuma?” She heard Shima’s tentative voice behind her trying to get her attention, and slowly turned back.
“Do you understand, now?” It almost looked like tears were welling in her eyes, but she held them back remarkably.
Kae did understand. But the weight of what that meant for her hit her with another wave of nausea, and she tightly gripped her hands into fists. After another beat, she picked at a spot on her shirt and started speaking.
“If I did, what does that mean? And why ?” Now Kae was the one tearing up. Perhaps the reasons she had thrown herself into BL was partially repression. Maybe she couldn’t see herself with men at all, and that’s why? She didn’t feel well.
It seems Shima hadn’t entirely considered this as an outcome to this conversation. She stuttered a bit before settling for rubbing Kae’s back as she sniffled. “I’m sorry…I came to this conclusion for myself years ago and I guess I hadn’t thought…” She trailed off.
“What do I tell the others? What do I tell Amane? I don’t—”
“Please, Serinuma, try to take things one step at a time,” Shima interjected, trying to talk her off the ledge. “I just want to establish something. It’ll help you too, I think.”
Kae looked up at Shima, face red and puffy from crying. She tried to wipe her face, but Shima pulled a signature move and gently swiped under her eye with her thumb, which honestly just made her tear up more. “What is it?” She asked.
“Do you like me back?”
Despite her tears, Kae laughed a little at the childish wording of the question, a far cry from the deeply serious confessions she was used to reading about in the BL genres she enjoyed. But that didn’t stop her from finally acknowledging that the swell in her heart that she felt looking at Shima in this moment was a kind of romantic affection, causing more tears to fall down her cheeks.
“I would say I do!”
Shima finally smiled and moved her hand to Kae’s chin, tilting her properly for another kiss, one marginally less tentative than the last. The two spent some time talking about their usual subjects as the sun fully set, but this time they had an understanding between them that they were more than just friends.
As they traveled home, Shima suggested a variety of comedically jarring methods they could announce their relationship to the others, all of which Kae shot down as they were all massively embarrassing.