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Once again, Jan’s mind was doing tricks on him. The darkness of the night surrounded him from every direction; it was meant to be tiring and relaxing. To Jan, the darkness is mostly just distressing and sorrowful. He felt how Igor hopped on the bed and moulded the blanket in a good form, where he felt comfortable. Igor lowered his small head on top of Jan’s leg, closing his eyes.
Jan knew Nace was in the next room, he knew that Nace’s girlfriend had stayed over for the seventh time this week, Jan knew how much Nace loved his girlfriend, Jan also knew how jealous he was.
When Jan first met Nace Jordan, their new bassist, it didn’t take him a long time to form a crush on him. Also, it didn’t take him a long time to discover that this dreamy-looking man had a long-term girlfriend.
Nace’s girlfriend, Audrey, is from London and when Joker Out gathered in London to finish up their new album, it was only natural for Audrey to join them. And oh boy, did that crack Jan’s nerves?
It would’ve been a lot easier for Jan if Audrey was a nice person or even an okay person, but she was a complete bitch to him. When they met for the first time Jan tried to be nice to her.
“Hi, I’m Jan, the other guitarist in Nace’s band. It’s nice to meet you”, Jan introduced himself when Nace had introduced him to Audrey for the first time. Jan felt proud when Nace smiled at him reassuringly. “Oh, you’re that guy”, Audrey looked him up and down and immediately Jan felt small and insecure about himself. “So this is Audrey, my girlfriend”, Nace had stepped into the conversation, trying to save it.
Jan still tries to be as friendly to her as he can, but Audrey just isn't a nice person.
Jan rolled onto his other side and tried to squint his eyes close. Could he just fall asleep? Is that too much to ask?
Igor was purring on Jan’s legs, deeply asleep. Jan has never wanted to be his cat this much. He would pay so much to cure his insomnia, he would give everything.
Jan heard that his door opened, and he felt that someone had walked into his room. “Janči?” A soft voice called him and Jan’s heart started racing immediately when he realized that it was Nace. Jan wasn’t sure if he should pretend to be asleep or respond to his best friend.
“I know you’re awake”, Nace knows him too well. He walked towards him and sat next to Jan on the edge of his bed. Jan rolled back onto his other side, blinking his eyes at Nace. “What’s up?” Jan whispered, keeping his voice low and rubbing his eyes. “I can’t sleep… uhm there is a thing that has been running in my mind lately”, Nace said, sighing lightly. Jan sat up still confused by his friend just appearing in his room. “I’m here for you, tell me”, Jan said, lowering a reassuring hand on Nace’s shoulder. “Okay, so I’ve been thinking…”
That I don’t really love Audrey, actually, I really like you and I’ve been just trying to ignore my feelings but I can’t do it anymore. I’m madly in love with you Jan, and I can’t hide it anymore. We should be together, I think we belong together. I think I lo-
“...that I should propose”, Nace ended his sentence. Jan’s bubble was quickly popped and he fell from cloud 9. “What?” He asked, his eyes wide. “So you think it’s too early”, Nace sighed. “No, no! I didn’t say that!” Jan quickly fixed and cleared his throat. “I mean, if you’re ready and it feels right, then you should go for it”, Jan said, speaking against his wishes. “Yeah, well there is this other thing…”
I think I love you Jan.
“Audrey is pregnant”, Nace dropped and Jan felt like he could faint at that exact place. “Woah, many big things at once. She’s pregnant?” Jan questioned and Nace nodded his head. “Yeah, but it’s really early, she told me not to tell anyone, but I just can’t hide this from you”, Nace sighed. “I need someone to know it, you’re the only one who is able to comfort me”, Nace added and Jan was startled. Jan spread his arms and Nace immediately leaned into Jan’s touch. “Everything will be alright”, Jan whispered, but he, himself, didn’t believe that.
Nace left the room and immediately Jan broke down. His crush on Nace had been a stupid thing from the beginning, but now it felt like an impossible thing. Nace was never going to like him back. Jan will be alone forever... well, he has Igor. Igor probably would really enjoy another dad. Jan swept his tears away and sighed deeply. Igor meowed quietly and Jan sniffed. "I know Igor, he will be a happy husband with many cute kids... and I will have nothing to do with it".
Since Jan and Audrey's first meeting, Audrey didn’t seem to change her opinion about Jan. Jan tried to be as nice as possible to her, just for Nace, but when Audrey wasn’t anything else than an asshole to him, Jan started to lose it.
Nace’s birthday was a hell of a blast…
“I was thinking that we could do like a nice dinner and then call his family on Zoom or Skype or something like that so they can also join our party, we could bake a cake, Nace loves the red velvet cake, but of course we have to make it gluten-free. Would he prefer pizza or pasta? Maybe pizza? What do you think?” Jan rambled, getting so excited while planning his best friend’s birthday party. Kris just chuckled and placed a hand on Jan’s shoulder. “I’m sure Nace will love it either way”, Kris smiled and Jan sighed. “But I want it to be perfect! He’s turning 30 Kris! It’s a big thing!” Jan said, spreading his arms. “I know, but as I said Nace will appreciate everything you do to him”, Kris reassured.
“So, do you have plans for your birthday?” Jan asked, hopeful that Nace was free on his special day. “No, I don’t think-”, Nace was saying but Audrey cut him off. “Yeah, we have plans”, she said, looking Jan up and down. “We do?” Nace questioned and Audrey nodded his head confidently. “Of course we do!” She said glancing at Jan. “Oh”, Jan said sounding really disappointed. “Well, I hope you have fun then!” He tried to be as polite as possible, but disappointment shone in his voice. “Did you have something in mind?” Nace asked and Jan just shook his head with a small smile. Just a full-on party planned out, but of course, your girlfriend is more important. “No, not really. You should spend your birthday with your girlfriend”, Jan smiled through the pain.
Jan lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Igor was purring right next to him and Jan petted him to calm himself down. Then there was a knock on the door. “Come in”, Jan said, just loud enough that the person behind the door could hear it. “Hey. What did Nace say?” Kris asked walking in and sitting at the end of Jan’s bed. “Nace was going to say that he doesn't have plans but Audrey cut him off and said that they do have plans”, Jan sighed. “Of fucking course, sorry to say this but that Audrey is a whole of a bitch”, Kris said, lowering his voice. Jan just chuckled dryly. “Don’t worry, I think she hates me”, Jan said. “Oh, because you like Nace?” Kris asked and Jan shushed him. “If she knew that I’d be dead already”, Jan said and Kris gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry Jan, I hope that someday Nace will see how wonderful boyfriend you’d be”, Kris said, tapping Jan’s ankles. Jan just hummed as a response, but honestly, he really hoped that as well. “I don’t think that is going to happen, Nace loves Audrey and their-”, Jan cut himself off, realizing that Kris doesn’t know about the baby.
Jan coughed before he continued: “Uhm, but I would’ve loved to arrange a party for him”, Jan sighed leaning his back onto the wall behind his bed. Kris scrunched his eyebrows looking at Jan, but let it slide, continuing to the previous topic. “You should tell him, say that you have a party planned and don’t care about Audrey, I’m sure they can change their plans”, Kris decided to say. “As I said, Audrey hates me and I don’t want to make her hate me even more”, Jan said and Kris sighed. “Talk to Nace then”, Kris said, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s not that important, they have plans and I’m not a that big part of Nace’s life so I don’t matter that much”, Jan sniffed. “HEY!” Kris gripped Jan’s shoulders and shook him a bit. “Don’t fucking say that, you are a really big part of Nace’s life, and if you don’t do something then I’m going to do”, Kris said, looking straight into Jan’s eyes. “I guessed that”, Jan whispered with a slight smile. “Good”, Kris looked proud, letting go of Jan’s shoulders.
Nace and Audrey had sat down in the restaurant Audrey had picked. “Good evening, what could I get for you?” The waitress said happily. “So what gluten-free options do you have?” Nace asked nicely, eyeing their menu. “I’m sorry but we don’t have that many options, only our salads are gluten-free”, the waitress said and Nace glanced at Audrey, who clearly wasn’t paying attention. “I’m sorry” the waitress apologized once again. “Don’t worry, I’ll just take the caesar salad then”, Nace smiled at her. “Okay, would you like it with turkey or chicken?” She asked, writing the order into her little notebook. “Chicken please”, Nace answered. “Okay, and how about you?” The waitress turned towards Audrey. “I’ll take the cheeseburger with fries, thank you”, Audrey answered. Nace never thought that Audrey was straight away mean, but this felt pretty bad. It was his birthday and his girlfriend took him to a restaurant where he can’t eat anything. Life is tough sometimes.
They had gotten the food and Nace brought up the topic he wanted to talk about. “So should we tell them? I really hate keeping this a secret! I’m going to be a dad, I want to tell all the people I love”, Nace said looking up from his plate. Audrey’s face fell and her mouth popped open. “Uhm, I- I don’t know. It’s still so early and I think it’s better to keep this a secret for now”, Audrey said and Nace coughed. “Uhm, well Jan knows already”, Nace admitted then and Audrey’s eyes widened. “What?” She blinked her eyes. “You know he’s my best friend and I can’t keep any secrets from him”, Nace said and Audrey shook her head. “Fuck you, Nace”, Audrey said and that was the last thing she said to him this whole evening.
Audrey had gone straight to sleep when they had come back home. She was mad, of course, and Nace was exhausted. He wanted to drink something before going to sleep. When Nace entered the kitchen, there were balloons, cards, gifts and a cake on the table. Nace blinked his eyes a few times before believing what he was seeing.
“Jan had a whole party planned for you”, Kris said, standing behind Nace, arms crossed. Nace turned around, his eyes wide. “Why didn’t he say anything?” Nace questioned and Kris sighed. “You know how he is. Jan is a people pleaser, and as you know Audrey despises him. So he isn’t going to argue with Audrey”, Kris explained and Nace sighed. “I hate that they don’t get along”, Nace sighed, when Kris opened his mouth Nace cut him off. “And I know that it’s Audrey, Jan has only tried to be nice to her”, Nace sighed again. “I’ve tried to talk to her, but she always avoids the topic”, he added. “Oh, do you think Jan would’ve done something that could’ve upset Audrey?” Kris asked, raising his other brow. “I don’t believe a single second that Jan could’ve done something like that”, Nace said. “As you said, he’s a people pleaser”.
“I think Jan is waiting for a thank you. He baked the cake all by himself, you should’ve seen how carefully he did it so it was surely gluten-free”, Kris said and Nace raised his look. “Jan made the cake?” He questioned moving his gaze to the red velvet cake. There was Happy birthday Nacko! written on it, with a chocolate. “Yeah, he baked for like three hours”, Kris chuckled slightly. “But he hates baking?” Nace responded. “Exactly, Nacko”, Kris nodded his head. His best friend had baked him a cake, a cake that was surely gluten-free. Nace was ultimately fucked.
“Janči?” Nace knocked softly on his best friend’s door, balancing with two plates of cake in his hands. “Yeah?” Jan’s quiet voice answered. “Can I come in?” Nace asked and Jan agreed. “I brought you cake as well”, Nace smiled when he stepped in. “Oh, thanks. Did you like it?” Jan smiled slightly. “I didn’t taste yet”, Nace said, sitting opposite Jan on his bed. Jan had lit candles all over the room, which made a really nice atmosphere in his room. “Janči”, Nace said, sighing lightly. “You should’ve told me that you have plans, we could’ve gone out to eat any other day”, Nace continued. “I-I just-”, Jan rambled, then took a deep breath and continued: “I don’t want to argue with Audrey, I think she doesn’t like me that much”. Jan’s voice was much quieter than before and Nace couldn’t do anything else than lower his plate on Jan’s nightstand and scoop his best friend into his arms. “I’m sorry Janči, I hoped so much that you two would eventually get along”, Nace whispered. “It’s not your fault Nacko”, Jan answered smiling into the hug. “Happy birthday”, Jan then whispered and for the first time Nace felt something different. "Thank you, I appreciate you so much", Nace answered, the tingling feeling filling his chest.
The feeling was small at first but in just a few hours it grew so much bigger. They ate cake and talked about little things in life, they loved to talk with each other because they got along really well. Soon it was close to midnight and they were just still talking, laughing and hanging out together. “Thanks, Jan, this was a really nice birthday and I’m so sorry for ruining your plans”, Nace had said and Jan shook his head. “You didn’t ruin anything, how could you ruin something you didn’t know about”, Jan chuckled and Nace nodded. “You’re right”, he answered and at that moment when Jan’s eyes were glimmering with happiness and his mouth was curved into a smile, he looked so kissable. Nace caught himself off-guard. Did he just think that he could kiss Jan?
To be honest it wasn’t the first time Nace had thought that.
The first time was a little after he had joined Joker Out. They had been in their studio, just practising around when Nace locked eyes with Jan. Jan’s hair tied in a bun, but some of his hair was able to escape the hair tie. Jan was smiling softly at him, dark eyes glistering because of the sun shining from the window. Nace felt a tingling feeling in his stomach, but he denied the feeling immediately. Nace was a man in a relationship, he couldn’t fall for his bandmate.
Still, Nace was a man in a relationship and he loved his girlfriend and their child, dearly.
It was just a normal-feeling, rainy afternoon. Everything seemed to be fine. Nobody knew that this afternoon was going to change everything .
“Nace?” Audrey walked into the living room where Jan and Nace were watching the F.R.I.E.N.D’s. Jan and Nace had been watching it together from the beginning and they were already in season five, even though they’ve been watching it just the past month.
“Mhm?” Nace hummed, not moving his gaze from the TV. “We should talk”, Audrey said, side-eyeing Jan as always. “Okay, just a sec, this episode will end soon”, Nace said and Audrey snatched the remote from the coffee table, shutting the TV. “We are talking now”, she demanded, crossing her arms. Nace raised his hands and gave up. “Okay, let’s talk then”, he said standing up and following Audrey to their room.
“What’s up? Are you okay?” Nace asked, tilting his head to the side. “Don’t ask me what’s up, only Jan uses that stupid phrase. I think you hang out with him too much anyways”, Audrey said and Nace squinted his eyes at her. “Was that the thing you wanted to talk about? Really? Did you ask me here to insult me for hanging out with my best friend?” Nace questioned and Audrey shook her head. “No, I really need to tell you since this embryo is soon turning into a baby, meaning that I can’t do an abort anymore…” Nace cut her off: “Have you thought of doing an abort?” Nace sounded really hurt. “Without even saying anything to me?” He was shocked. “Audrey, we’re in this together, I know it’s your body and your choice but it’s our baby. I want to be here for you and our baby and be the best dad to them and…” now it was Audrey’s time to cut Nace off. “You’re not the dad Nace”, she said.
Nace’s world came crashing down, just in seconds everything was gone, everything was fucked up. He couldn’t believe what she was saying. “W-what?” Nace’s voice was trembling. “Yeah, well sorry, but I think maybe we could still be a fami-”, Audrey tried with a slight smile. “Oh fuck no, you can’t go there and fuck someone else and then act as if nothing happened, get pregnant, make me think for a month that I’m the dad and then just expect me to want to play little family with you and someone else’s child”, Nace’s volume was raising. “But we could try?” Audrey said, still fucking SMILING. “Audrey, you fucking cheated on me!” Now Nace was full-on shouting. “Yeah, but I don’t see a problem here. It was just a little vacation romance and that’s it, we’re nothing Nace, I lo-”, Audrey tried. “Don’t you fucking dare to say that”, Nace was furious at this point, he knew that this was the end of his and Audrey’s story. Nace took a deep breath calming himself down a bit. “If you’ve cheated on me that means I’m not enough for you and if you’ve done it once, you’ll do it again. I won’t be the person you’ll cheat on again”, Nace said coldly.
“You made me all of a sudden regret that I met you. I regret even thinking of proposing to you”, Nace said, his mouth pressing into a thin line. “You were going to propose?” Now Audrey’s smile faded away.
Nace opened his nightstand drawer and stuffed the small box into Audrey's hand. “I really thought this was a life-long thing, Audrey. I used so fucking much money on that”, Nace pointed to the ring box. “But it doesn’t matter. What matters is the time I’ve wasted with you. I can earn all that money back, but I can’t get these years back”, Nace’s voice had calmed down a bit, but his eyes were on fire. “Maybe we could try to-,” Audrey said a small smile climbing back onto her lips. “No, I’m not trying anything with you anymore. Have fun with your new family and get the fuck out”, Nace said, opening the door for her. “Can I take my stuff?” Audrey asked her voice quieter than ever. Nace was really mad, but still, he wasn’t an asshole. “Of course, but be quick”.
Nace walked Audrey to the hall. “I’m-”, Nace was waiting for her to apologise. “I’m ready”, she said and Nace wiped all the hope away. She won’t apologize. “Okay, go on then”, Nace pointed to the front door. Audrey opened the door and stepped out. Standing on the porch Audrey turned around the last time. “I hope you’ll find the right one”, she said then closing the door.
Nace was just staring at the door. Everything had happened so quickly, or well everything had been happening behind his back for quite a while already, and he gets to know it now.
Nace was in shock, he didn’t shout, he didn’t cry, he just stood there. “Hey Nace! Should we continue watching the Friends? I made popcorn!” Jan said and his voice was so happy and excited when he said he made popcorn. Nace felt a little warmth in his chest. He turned around and faced a smiling Jan with a popcorn bowl in his hands. “Yeah, sure”, Nace said.
“Where did Audrey go?” Jan asked as they sat down on the couch, the popcorn bowl seated between them. “She left”, Nace said so calmly that he surprised himself as well. “Left?” Jan questioned and turned to look at Nace, the remote in his hand. “Yeah, uhm she, well uhm we- we broke up”, Nace muttered and Jan’s eyes widened.
“Wait what?” Jan lowered the remote onto the coffee table. “Are you okay? What happened?” Jan was worried because he knew Nace and he wouldn’t just leave Audrey. “The baby-”, now there were first tears in Nace’s eyes. Jan replaced the popcorn bowl on the coffee table and scooted closer to Nace wrapping his arms around him. “I’m not the dad of her baby. She had cheated on me on the vacation in Italy”, Nace whispered and Jan’s grip tightened on him. “Omg, I’m so sorry Nacko”, Jan said feeling Nace’s tears on his shirt. “It’s okay, I just- I can’t believe she didn’t tell me”, Nace whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“The worst thing”, Nace hiccuped because of the crying. “Is that I thought I was becoming a dad, I really liked the thought, I would’ve never thought that she’d lie to me”, Nace’s voice was weak and Jan just tightened the hug. “I don’t know how to help you, but I’m so sorry for you and I’ll be here for you”, Jan responded. “Thank you, you just being here helps a lot”, Nace mumbled into Jan’s shirt. “I’m here”, Jan whispered back, trying to save his best friend from all the bad things. “And I’m sure you’ll be a great dad to someone someday”, Jan added, still whispering. “Thank you Janči, you’re everything to me”, Nace leaned his face into Jan’s shoulder.
“Hey, everything okay?” Bojan asked when he was walking through the living room. “Where’s Audrey?” he added, lounging himself to the armchair. Jan’s hand slowly stroked Nace’s back, trying to keep him calm. “She uhm… she left”, Nace sniffed. “And she’s not coming back”, Nace’s voice was quiet and Bojan placed his hand on Nace’s knee. “I’m sorry, but I’ll say that I never liked her”, Bojan said and Jan nodded his head. “Same, or well she didn’t like me”, Jan shrugged his shoulders. “Can I ask why you broke up?” Bojan asked and Nace chuckled sadly. “She cheated on me and uhm she lied to me, badly”, Nace said and Bojan’s eyes widened. “Woah, that’s horrible”, Bojan said, squeezing Nace’s knee. “Yeah, she was pregnant or she is still pregnant but she told me today that I’m not the dad of her baby”, Nace sighed deeply, a little tears escaping his eyes. “I’m really sorry my friend”, he said. “Thank you, Bojan”, Nace responded. “Can I tell the others? Or do you want to do it yourself?” Bojan asked and Nace nodded. “Maybe I should go to have a nap or something, you can tell them. Actually, I would be really grateful if you did”, Nace said and Bojan stood up, spreading his arms. Nace accepted the hug and Bojan rubbed his back. “Go to rest, you must be so upset”, Bojan whispered to him, tightening the hug.
Jan and Nace walked side by side towards Nace’s room. “Have a good nap, sleep as much as you need”, Jan said before flashing a smile and continuing his way towards his own room. But before Jan could go any further, Nace grabbed his wrist. Jan immediately turned around. “Could you maybe… nap with me? I don’t want to be alone”, Nace said nervously. “Oh Nace”, Jan said his face turning into a soft smile. “Of course”, he added and Nace’s nervous expression changed into a relieved one. “Thank you, Jan”, Nace said, pulling Jan into a hug. “You’re just the type of person I need right now”, he whispered, leaning into Jan’s warmth.
Nace’s arm had pulled Jan as close as humanly possible, while they were napping. Jan didn’t complain, but this position made him really hope that this was his everyday life. Jan can’t even describe how much he wants Nace to be his boyfriend. He wants to hug him, kiss him and tell him how much he loves him.
But Nace is broken now. He is traumatized and Jan needs to be there for him, Jan will be there for him.
When Nace fluttered his eyes open he looked really peaceful and comfortable at first but then he realized that he was cuddling Jan. Nace’s face changed quickly to look like he was sorry about the situation and he also moved further away from Jan. Jan’s heart ached slightly but he just tossed the feeling away. “How did you sleep?” Jan asked with a smile. “Really well, thank you for staying with me”, Nace flashed a small smile at him. “No problem. You can ask me anytime”, Jan reassured with a smile.
“Oh fuck no”, were the words Kris let out on a random Saturday. The guys were just chilling in their living room, the movie’s end credits rolling on the television. “What?” Bojan was the first one to react. “My aunt asks if I can take Brina with us next weekend”, Kris said, staring at the screen of his phone. “Omg! That would be nice!” Jure said smiling happily. “I’m not that good at babysitting”, Kris said with a sigh. “No worries, we will help you! How old is she?” Jan asked, being clearly excited. “She’s only one”, Kris said rubbing his face. “We’ll help you to take care of her, don’t worry Kris!” Jure ensured. “Okay, thank you guys”, Kris smiled slightly before he started to write an answer to his aunt.
Nace had been quiet when they were talking about Kris’s small cousin who was coming to visit them. Nace was still pretty sensitive about the kid thing and Jan sensed it. When Nace stood up from the armchair Jan followed him.
“Hey, you okay?” Jan asked when they were in the kitchen and no one else could hear them. “Yeah, of course”, Nace said, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it with orange juice. “Nace”, Jan’s voice was mellow, but still a bit demanding. “I know you, you’re not okay”, he said and Nace sighed lowering the glass on the counter. “Well, I am a little scared of how I will react to a kid being here with us. I’m scared that I will break down, Jan”, Nace said sighing loudly and taking a sip from his drink. Jan walked closer and placed his hand on Nace’s arm. “Please remember that I am here for you. If you break down I will be here for you, whatever happens, I love you Nace”, this wasn’t the first time Jan had said those words to Nace. “I love you too, thank you Janči”, Nace said and closed Jan into a hug. To Jan those words were so much more than just friendly things, but Nace didn’t need to know that, at least not yet.
“Welcome Brina!” Jure said with open arms when Kris had picked his cousin up. Brina didn’t talk much yet, but she knew all the guys so she ran straight to hug Jure. “It’s so nice to have you here!” Jure smiled at her and she just let out happy noises. “Did I hear right?” Jan asked when he stepped into the living room. “YES! It’s Brina! Hi!” Jan’s voice became immediately an octave higher.
Brina ran to hug him next and Nace who had walked in after Jan, couldn’t do anything else than smile. He took a place on the armchair and focused on Jan and Brina. Then all of a sudden, Nace felt something in his chest. It felt like a bang when he looked at Jan embracing Brina. He was so gentle and looked like he just belonged with kids. “I’ve missed you”, Jan cooed and Brina sat on his lap, smiling brightly at him. Nace looked at them, Jan having the softest gaze in his eyes. Suddenly the same feeling was back on Nace’s chest. “Are you okay Nace?” Bojan asked, placing a hand on Nace’s shoulder. “Yeah, I feel a bit weird”, Nace said, his voice low, still looking at Jan. “Hey, come here”, Bojan offered his hand and helped Nace up. “Let’s get some water for you”.
“What’s wrong Nacko? You’re looking really pale”, Bojan said, handing a glass of water to Nace, who was sitting at the dining table. “My mind is just tricking me again, I just see this amazing, adorable kid, who is so nice and happy and it just makes me wonder how it would be to have my own”, Nace sighed, taking a sip of the water. “I’m not just over it yet, I think I’m going to be fine at some point”, he added. “Oh Nace”, Bojan said, sitting next to him and pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay for you to take time off if you feel too overwhelmed”, Bojan said, stroking Nace’s back. “Thank you Bojan”, Nace sniffed.
“Hey, oh sorry did I interrupt”, Jan said when he stepped into the kitchen, where Bojan was still hugging Nace. “Oh, no worries”, Nace said sweeping the little tears away from his cheeks. “Hey, are you okay?” Jan’s voice was apprehensive and that made Nace feel even sadder. “Yeah, I think I am”, Nace smiled through the small tears. “You look really pale Nacko, should you lie down? I can come with you”, Jan offered immediately and Nace broke down. Jan is way too sweet.
Jan loved Nace dearly, as a best friend... and maybe something more, so he wanted only the best for this man.
“SURPRISE!” Was shouted when Nace came back home from his run. He blinked a few times before he realized that his whole family was there. “Omg, hey!” Nace said, taking his earbuds off. “Mom, dad! What are you doing here?” Nace smiled happily at his parents who were there, arms spread, ready to hug their son. “We’re here to celebrate your birthday, it’s later than we thought but here we are”, his mother said, hugging her dear son. Then his father hugged him as well. “Happy late birthday Nace”, he smiled brightly. When Nace turned around he couldn’t miss the wide smirk on Jan’s face. “You planned this, didn’t you?” Nace said taking a few steps closer to Jan. “Maybe”, Jan said and Nace swept him off his feet, spinning him in the air. “Thank you, I love you so much”, Nace said when he lowered Jan back onto his feet. Those words made Jan’s stomach turn around but he tried so hard to act cool. Bojan saw how Nace’s parents changed a knowing look between each other. “I reserved a table for all of us in the nearby restaurant, you may want to get ready”, Jan smiled. “I can’t thank you enough, you’re awesome”, Nace said, ruffling Jan’s hair.
Jan wanted to compliment Nace’s looks so much. He looked fucking hot but Jan couldn’t say that out loud. “Heyy, I like that shirt”, Jan settled to say. “Oh, thanks”, Nace smiled at him and then he realized. “You got this for me, didn’t you?” Nace smirked. “Yeah, I think it was my first present to you. I really thought you got rid of it already”, Jan said, shrugging his other shoulder. “I would never”, Nace said, combing through his hair with his fingers. “Ready to go?” Nace’s mother walked into the hallway. “Yeah, I think so, Bojan is just fixing his hair”, Kris responded as he met them in the hallway as well. “That’s going to take”, Jan rolled his eyes, making Nace’s mother chuckle. “Let the handsome man make his hair look good”, she tapped Jan’s shoulder.
Jan had reserved a table at this one specific restaurant which was located near the harbor. The restaurant was specialised in gluten-free food. “Here we are!” Jan said and smiled widely as they approached the restaurant. “Omg, I’ve wanted to visit here since they opened, but it’s always fully reserved”, Nace said smiling widely. Jan’s face was happier than ever as they were entering it. “You’re lucky to have me”, Jan stated and quickly regretted those words but luckily the head waiter greeted them. “A table for Jan Peteh”, Jan said and she nodded her head with a smile. “So a party of seven?” She made sure and Jan nodded. “Great! Follow me!” She led them to their table, which was located right next to a big window showing them the beach. “Here you go, feel free to look through the menu, your waiter will be soon here to take your drinks and orders”, she said and everyone thanked her.
The night went on really quickly. They had good food, nice drinks and the best possible company. Jan had completely forgotten how fun it was to hang out with Nace’s parents. They had met a few times when Nace had just joined the band. Jan got along with them like they were his own parents and that was amazing.
At the end of the night, Nace’s parents wanted to get back to their apartment, since they had travelled from Slovenia on the same day. The band, however, wanted to go out. So they did.
mother❣️
I think Jan is a real catch! 😄
23.37.
me
Mom, you know I’m freshly broken up…
23.45.
And don’t use the word catch.
23.45.
mother❣️
Aww, baby. I know you’ve broken up and please heal yourself, but I’m just saying that it’s been almost six months, you can also move one, (like she did 😑).
23.46.
Jan is a really nice man and I can see you two together. ❤️
23.47.
me
Okay, I’ll note that. Thanks, mom.
23.47.
mother❣️
That’s what I’m talking about, darling! Have a fun night!
23.47.
me
I will, thanks!
23.48.
“Let’s go!” Jure had shouted right away when they had entered the nightclub. The music was blasting and bright neon lights flickering. Jan did a little jump of excitement before he made his way towards the bar. Nace chuckled at them being so excited but couldn’t hide his own excitement. He hadn’t been in a nightclub for so long time. Audrey wasn’t a big fan of partying and especially she wasn’t a big fan of Nace’s partying. They had been out together just a few times and those were the most stressed nights of Nace’s life. But now, he’s free to do whatever. He should’ve been free even though he was in a relationship, but with Audrey that wasn’t the point. “Nace! Let’s go dance!” Jan had already a drink in his hand, smiling widely at Nace. “I’m coming, I’ll just take a drink for myself first.
When Nace had gotten his drink he joined the others on the dancefloor, he saw how this random man was dancing with Jan. Immediately there was a weird feeling in Nace’s chest.
Was Nace jealous?
He took a sip of his drink, before heading towards them. “Nacko!” Jan turned to him with a happy smile. Nace glued himself to Jan’s side, automatically wrapping his arm around Jan’s middle. “Oh, I didn’t think you had a boyfriend”, the random guy said, raising his hands in the air. “I’m sorry”, he said with a smile, at least he’s polite. “He’s-” Jan turned to look at Nace’s eyes, which were looking dark. “He’s my boyfriend, yeah. And you’re okay, I should’ve told you”, Jan spoke, smiling slightly. Nace felt satisfied with that answer but then he realized what he was doing. When the guy left them alone, Jan turned to look at Nace with squinted eyes. “Sorry”, Nace whispered then and Jan chuckled, pulling him into a hug. “Don’t be sorry, it was fun to be your boyfriend”, Jan said with a smile.
Jan didn't drink that often, but sometimes he drank a little more of this magic liquid. And this time was sometimes. “Naceee!” Jan’s desperate whine filled Nace’s ears. “Hi”, Nace responded and Jan smiled at him. “What’s up?” He added when Jan leaned onto him, seemly drunk. “I don’t feel good”, Jan murmured and Nace was immediately warned. “Do you need to throw up?” Nace questioned and Jan just nodded slightly. “Okay, let’s get you out of here”, Nace said dragging Jan by his hand towards the exit.
As soon as they got outside Jan threw up in the nearest bush. Nace was there, holding his hair to keep it away from his face. When Jan was done he turned around looking really pale and weak. “I’m sorry”, Jan muttered and Nace pulled him into a hug. “Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. Do you want to go?” Nace asked and Jan shook his head. “No, it’s- we celebrate your birthday, you have to have fun!” Jan whined and Nace chuckled. “Oh Janči, I’ve had so much fun today. If you don’t feel good, we should get you home”, Nace said and Jan gave up. “Okay”, Jan mumbled. “Do you want to come with me to get the other or stay in the fresh air?” Nace questioned. “I stay here”, Jan said and Nace nodded. Then Jan felt a jacket being placed on his shoulders and before he could react Nace was already back inside. Jan pulled the jacket tighter around him and drowned in Nace’s smell.
“Janči, let’s go”, Nace's arm had wrapped around Jan’s waist and guided him towards the taxi. “Mhm”, Jan hummed and Nace helped him into the car. Jan was drunk and he was clingy. When Nace was together with Audrey Jan wanted to be clingy to him when he was drunk, but Nace knew that Jan didn’t want to. Jan was sure that Adurey would kill him if he did, but nowadays there was no one to stop him. So, Jan clung to Nace as much as he could. “Tell me if I’m too much to you”, Jan rambled, pressing his face to the crook of Nace’s neck. “You’re never too much to me”, Nace whispered back, pressing a small kiss on Jan’s forehead.
It had been six months after Nace and Audrey’s breakup. Nace wasn’t fully over it yet, but still, he felt like a special someone would help him get fully over her. Audrey had seemly got over him since she had already moved in with her baby daddy to Italy. Nace had been mad when he saw that Instagram post, but soon the anger changed into relief. At least now, he wasn’t able to accidentally meet her.
They had been out celebrating New Year's, but all Nace could think was Jan Peteh. Safe to say that they ended up in the same bed after long-term partying. Nothing really happened, and no kisses were exchanged but still, when Jan opened his eyes he saw Nace’s back. Jan immediately felt anxiety in his chest. Jan hadn’t been that drunk the previous night and he knew that nothing happened, but still waking up next to this amazingly handsome man felt so amazing. Jan decided to just wait for Nace to wake up and then they could talk about it.
Nace opened his eyes and immediately he felt that he wasn’t alone in the bed. Nace was almost scared to turn around, but when he did he felt relieved because next to him was Jan. He was sleeping, eyes closed, looking peaceful and Nace felt like he could fall in love. That was a weird feeling, but Nace was thankful for it. What had happened the previous night? It hit Nace suddenly. Had something happened? Did they kiss? Did they- oh no, they must not.
“Hey”, Jan fluttered his eyes open and met with Nace’s confused face. “Before you think too much, nothing happened”, Jan confirmed and Nace nodded. “Okay”, Nace studied Jan’s face. Could he be disappointed? “Happy birthday”, Nace then said and Jan’s face turned into a smile. “Thanks”, he said. “Hug?” Nace suggested and Jan immediately scooted into Nace’s arms. The hug felt a bit too intimate being just between two best friends.
“Were you disappointed that nothing happened?” Nace then whispered. Jan’s eyes widened and he looked at Nace, still in his arms. “What do you mean?” Jan whispered back. “Are you disappointed that nothing happened between us?” Nace then explained and made Jan even more confused. For a little moment, Jan thought this was a joke so he answered: “Well, I was hoping for a New Year’s kiss”. Nace squinted his eyes trying to figure out if Jan was serious. “Really?” Nace asked and now Jan realised that Nace was serious. “Yeah”, Jan started being serious as well. “It’s still a New Year, you know?” Nace then said. “You just want to kiss me, don’t you?” Jan said with a smile. “Maybe”, Nace whispered and that whisper Jan already felt on his lips. “Finally”, Jan sighed happily before he closed the distance between them.
Nace has never felt this free.
There was a soft knock on Jan's door. All of a sudden there was a real flashback to the night when Nace had entered his room to tell that he was going to propose to Audrey and that Audrey was pregnant. "Come in", Jan said slowly, the flashback still creeping into his head. "Hi", it was indeed, Nace. "Hey", Jan answered smiling lightly. "Are you okay? You look like you were expecting someone completely else to step into your room", Nace said chuckling slightly.
Jan drowned his hand in Igor's fur. Jan looked down and suddenly Nace got really worried. "Hey? Are you okay?" Nace questioned, sitting next to Jan and wrapping his arms around him. "I- I just got flashbacks from the night you told me Audrey is pregnant, I'm sorry for bringing this up... I know it's a sensitive topic to you and you might not be over the trauma yet but on that night I cried so much because I knew you were never going to like me and I felt so bad that I wasn't happy for you. I just needed to be the best friend for you and I couldn't do it and then I just worried about my own things, I feel bad Nace", Jan rambled through the story and during it, Nace's grip on him just tightened.
"Jan, you were the best friend ever, for me. You were and you still are my everything", Nace pressed a kiss on Jan's temple. "And yes, the trauma is still there, but don't worry you can tell and speak about everything to me and I will listen to you", he added and Jan's eyes started to water. "Honey, you are amazing and seeing your best friend in a toxic relationship must've been a bad experience for you as well, don't underestimate your own feelings Janči", he said. "But-", Jan tried but Nace cut him off by kissing him. "No buts", he smiled into the kiss.
"Do you remember when I said I love you when you did the surprise for me?" Nace suddenly said when they were just lying on the couch, the series's end credits rolled on the TV, next episode would be starting in 30 seconds. "Mhm, yeah?" Jan hummed and then turned his head to look at Nace. "I think I meant it already back then", he then said and Jan just batted his eyelashes at him. "You- what?" Jan was confused and Nace smiled, pressing a kiss on his forehead. "Yeah, you know I never really told my friends that I love them, I've only said it to my parents and if I've been in a deep enough relationship, but not to friends", Nace explained. "But to you, it's just always felt natural to say and now that I think about it, it must've been a sign which I just hadn't realized", he added and Jan's face curved into a happy smile.
"I love you Jan", Nace said, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you too", Jan said it back, of course he said it back. He would always say it back.