Chapter Text
Monday, February 1st, 2010 - Early Morning
When she wakes up, Kotone is crying.
And while waking up in tears is nothing new to her, she feels that she is forgetting something incredibly important.
Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she gets up from bed, about to get ready for school.
Before she could step into the bathroom, her door is thrown open, and Kotone's fully expecting it to be Yukari, probably to ask her for something, but is instead surprised to find her brother in the doorway, in his pajama pants and the shirt with ‘ twins ’ written in blue that matched the pink one she's wearing she had insisted on buying for them, but most importantly, a panicked look in his eyes.
“Mako-nii-”
She's interrupted by him flinging himself at her, hugging her fiercely.
And while she doesn't hesitate to return the hug, she takes notice of her twin’s weird behavior.
Makoto's never - or well, not ever since that day - been the type to initiate physical contact with anyone, not even her.
“Kotone.” She hears him breathe in relief, his face buried in her auburn hair.
“Makoto, you’re worrying me. Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
He stiffens in her arms, before slowly taking a step back.
“You…don’t…”
He trails off, staring at her bed behind her, and when she turns around Kotone could swear she sees a flash of a familiar yellow, but there's nothing on the bed.
“Makoto? What are you looking at…?”
He raises a hand to his face, covering his eye and taking another step back.
“If you don’t…then…I’m the only one?” he mutters to himself, and Kotone is really starting to worry.
He takes a deep breath, and Kotone frowns.
“Sorry for scaring you Kotone. I’m okay. Just…a bad dream” he whispers.
(He lies.)
It makes sense. Yet Kotone has the distinct feeling that he is lying to her.
(He never used to do that. Lie to her, that is. He lied to adults all the time, but never to her. But after the months they spent apart because of the damn foster care system, he started lying to her, too, and it breaks her heart.)
“Wanna talk about it?” she offers, despite already knowing his answer.
“Maybe another time. I’ll let you get ready.”
And with that he leaves, closing the door behind him.
Kotone wants to chalk it up to her brother being his normal emotionally constipated self. She really does. But she can't. Not with her gut screaming at her that something is wrong .
>>>---<<<
Friday, February 5th, 2010 - Evening
He knew it would suck.
Ryoji had warned him that living on borrowed time for an entire month would be hell.
Still, he had a promise to keep, and he'd be damned if he doesn’t do anything in his power to keep at least one of the many promises that will now go unfulfilled.
But what hurts the most is that they all forgot.
Even Kotone.
(He has no idea where Aigis is.)
It makes sense for him to be the only one to remember, but that doesn't make it any less painful.
But seeing Kotone so happy, with no thoughts of impending doom lurking…maybe it was for the best that she stays in the dark.
He could almost hear Ryoji laugh at him.
‘ Yet you yelled at me for asking you to forget. You’re so stubborn, Makoto ’
At least, he isn’t completely alone.
‘You never were, and never will be, my dearest.’
Still, he misses him.
Despite it all, despite all the universe had put them through, Makoto still loves Ryoji so much it hurts.
‘I love you too. Just hold on for a bit longer, okay? One month until graduation day, my Universe.'
>>>---<<<
Saturday, February 6th, 2010 - After School
Makoto, despite usually having amazing grades, was never one to pay attention in class -unless exams were approaching-, but watching her brother sleep off the entire afternoon was simply ridiculous.
She waits for Ms. Toriumi to step out, before shaking him in an attempt to wake him up.
Junpei seems to notice her struggle, if the bemused smile on his face as he approaches them is anything to go by.
Kotone would have called him out on it, if not for the fact that Makoto is not waking up dammit-
Usually, it doesn't take that much to wake him up.
(Unless he's tired or sick. She remembers how back in September, when he didn’t listen to her and ended up getting drenched and then sick, he had slept through the typhoon. And in April when she and Yukari had to bang on his door to wake him up when the…huh…what happened in April?)
She feels him stir, and breathes a sigh of relief.
"Kotone? Junpei?” he slurs, and the sleepiness in his voice normally would have made her tease him but…
“Hey man, you going for a record or something? You slept through all of the afternoon classes. You really gotta tell me how you don’t get caught by the teachers.”
“Wha…?”
Her brother’s confused mumbles make Junpei laugh, but Kotone finds herself frowning.
Makoto's hiding something from her, that much is obvious.
She just needs to find out what.
“I’m going to visit Shinji. Wanna come with?”
Her brother blinks at her, as if it required him a few seconds to process the words, then nods.
“I still don’t understand how the hell you and Aragaki-senpai became so close, Koto-nan.”
Kotone does not miss the way Makoto, who had gotten to his feet to put his books in his school bag, stills at that.
“I’m quite charming, or so I’m told.” she says, grinning at Junpei.
“Well, since you’re going to the hospital, guess I’ll come with you and visit Chidori now. I was planning on visiting her later, but might as well go now.”
Oh right, Yoshino-san. Junpei’s girlfriend.
Who also fell in a coma.
And just like with Shinjiro, Kotone can't stop thinking that ‘ back alley incident ’ isn’t the real cause for their state.
( Unlike Shinji, Chidori had already woken up, albeit without her memories. Shinji, who hasn’t opened his eyes since October 4th, when…why does she feel horrible thinking about that day? Why does she feel burning anger well up within her? )
She feels a familiar tug at her sleeve, and finds Makoto looking at her with a quizzed look.
(There is also hope in his eyes.)
“Kotone?”
“Sorry Mako-nii, just thinking. Well, let’s get going! To Port Island Station!”
>>>---<<<
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 - After School
Exhaustion is nothing new to him.
The extremely interesting combination of disorders that found its home in him is something he's been dealing with for as long as he can remember.
(Sure, the depression and PTSD only came after the accident. But his narcolepsy and insomnia, not to mention the occasional episode of cataplexy, are things he’s always had to deal with…well, he's just happy that Kotone is the healthy twin.)
Still, getting so winded by the walk from Iwatodai Station to the dorm is…worrying.
Not to mention it's clear Kotone's onto him.
Maybe he overestimated his ability to hide things from his twin sister.
‘I told you you’d never be able to hide this from Kotone-chan. But you never listen to me.’
Makoto rolls his eyes as he closes the dormitory's door behind him.
(He ignores how the fact that the lounge is empty makes his heart ache.)
He hides plenty of things from Kotone, thank you very much.
‘No you don’t.’ is Ryoji’s response, his voice full of laughter.
Makoto doesn’t deny the accusation again, instead focusing on the task at hand.
Stairs, something he had always hated -maybe because he once lost feeling in his legs while going down the stairs and ended up going to the hospital to fix a broken nose-, now represent a monumental task.
'Don't beat yourself up over it. You climbed a tower with two hundred sixty-four floors after all.'
"Ryoji, I swear to God."
The moment he closes his bedroom door behind him, he lets out a heavy sigh. He's not even seventeen yet damnit. He feels like an old man.
(He'll die once he's seventeen, he reminds himself.)
He drops his school bag on the desk, and grabs a red marker on his way to the calendar over his bed.
With a sigh, he crosses out the date.
‘It’s okay, Makoto. You just gotta hang tight a little longer, love.’
>>>---<<<
Sunday, Friday 14th, 2010 - Evening
“Kotone-chan?”
Yukari gently taps her on shoulder, and Kotone removes her headphones, reaching for her MP3 and pausing ‘ A Way of Life ’.
“Ah, Yukari-chan. Is something the matter?”
She's sitting in the lounge, with nothing to do and only music to keep her company.
(She ignores the weird feeling she gets every time she returns to the dorm in the evening and finds the lounge empty.)
“Well…I was wondering if you knew where Yuuki-kun is. I wanted to talk to him but he wasn’t in his room.” Yukari stops for a second, seemingly reconsidering her next words. “Actually…I know it’s not exactly my place to pry, but…are you guys okay? Yuuki-kun has been…down lately. So I…well…I was just worried.”
“I…I’m okay. But I don’t know about Mako-nii…”
Kotone trails off, because she's supposed to know.
She's his twin sister, his other half, the one person in the world who understands him better than he even understands himself.
She's the one who can read him like an open book, while other people only see a cold and apathetic exterior.
“It’s okay Kotone-chan…I’m sure he’ll tell you.”
Except it isn't.
The bad feeling that's been living in her ever since she woke up crying hasn’t left her, only intensifying with each passing day.
“Thank you, Yukari-chan.”
The moment the girl leaves, Kotone gets up, grabs the coat she had left on the couch and makes her way outside.
She has a feeling she knows where Makoto is, and she doesn't like it.
>>>---<<<
‘This is a bad idea. You’re tired, it’s late, it’s cold and you get sick easily, and you’ll worry Kotone-chan.’
“I don’t need you to mother me, Ryoji.”
Still, he can see the point Ryoji made.
It is almost midnight, and leaving the dorm without letting anyone know is the best way to have a worried Kotone on his trail, but…he just wanted out.
Staying in bed all day was boring. But he can’t hang out with Mitsuru, or Yukari, or Fuuka, or Akihiko, or Ken or Koromaru, because they all forgot that they are all friends in the first place.
And staying at the dorm is…a reminder of all that had happened and all that his friends -his new family- forgot.
Not to mention that looking at the date makes him wish Ryoji was more than a simple presence at the back of his mind keeping him company as he waits for the Promised Day.
‘I’m sorry, Makoto. And they’ll remember, don’t worry.’ comes Ryoji’s soothing voice.
“I know they will.” Makoto sighs as he reaches the Moonlight Bridge -still under construction after a ‘problem with the hydraulic system caused a collapse’.
‘That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard, by the way.’
Makoto smiles at that. “Well, it’s not like they knew that the literal embodiment of Death and an Anti-Shadow robot girl had a fight that blew up half of the bridge.”
‘In my defense, it was all Aigis. I did nothing but defend myself.’
“Of course Ryoji.”
He rubs his hands together, trying to get some feeling in them again.
He feels the smile disappear from his face the moment he feels the cold metal wrapped around his finger.
He touches the ring Ryoji gave him, back in December, after Makoto had kissed him to shut him up, because Ryoji was being ridiculous, how could he ever kill him?
'Makoto? Everything okay?' the worry in Ryoji’s voice is evident.
“I miss you, Ryoji. I miss you so much and it hurts.”
There's no answer, but Makoto doesn't need one.
He knows perfectly what Ryoji's thinking.
‘I miss you too, my dearest.’
>>>---<<<
The walk from the dorm to the destroyed Moonlight Bridge is a quick one, and despite the chilly February air, Kotone finds herself enjoying it as the notes of 'Soul Phrase' fill her ears
( The whole ‘hydraulic system failure’ thing still doesn’t seem right to her. )
She finds Makoto leaning against the railway, staring at the moon above with a far away look on his face.
It hurts, seeing her brother suffering like this and being unable to help.
It always had, and always will.
“Mako-nii?” she says as she approaches him, knowing better than to walk up to him without making her presence known.
“Oh…hey Kotone.”
He doesn't even look at her, his eyes still trained on the moon.
She stops next to him, and silently reaches to hold his hand.
She's about to ask him how she can help, when she feels the cold metal of a ring around his finger.
“Mako-nii? Who…”
She trails off, because she knows who gave him the ring.
She knows that she knows, so why can’t she remember?
“Kotone? Is everything okay?”
She hears Makoto talk to her, but all she can do is wonder why she can't remember who gave her twin the ring.
It's someone important, not only for Makoto but for her as well.
Who are they? And why isn’t this person with them anymore?
“Kotone? Hey, you’re worrying me, say something?”
Makoto's turned around to look at her now, and Kotone distantly realizes that the hand she's still gripping is slightly trembling.
But no matter how much she concentrates, all she can recall is a familiar yellow, the cold of the snow and the smell of hyacinth.
But also the heart wrenching sorrow and sadness she felt when this person had left.
“Kotone? Why are you crying?”
At Makoto’s words she snaps out of it, and slowly brings a hand to her wet cheek.
She looks at her brother, her teary red eyes meeting his own lifeless gray ones.
“I…I can’t remember, Mako-nii. I know I’m forgetting someone important, but I…I can’t remember…”
Makoto wordlessly pulls her in for a hug, and Kotone couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m the one supposed to comfort you, dumbass.”
Makoto huffs out a laugh. “You’re the one crying, stupid.”
Kotone buries her face in her brother’s coat. “You’re the one who’s sad.”
When Makoto doesn't answer immediately, Kotone thinks he's done talking.
“I guess I am.” he whispers, loud enough for only her to hear.
She only hugs him tighter, and doesn't comment when he tightens his grip on her in return.
>>>---<<<
Monday, February 15th, 2010 - Early Morning
The following day, she waits for him in the kitchen like usual, his cup of bitter black coffee waiting for him as she sips on her own cup with maybe too many spoonfuls of sugar.
She frowns when the time ticked to 7.45 and her brother still hasn’t shown up.
Yukari, Junpei and Ken-kun had already left, and Kirijo-senpai had left in the early morning as usual, while Akihiko-senpai had left to get some training in before classes, so it’s only them in the dorm.
“Mako-nii? Come on, we’re gonna be late!” She calls out as she starts making her way up to the second floor, but starts running once she hears a loud thud coming from her brother’s room, the unease that had been welling up in her increasing by the second.
“Mako-nii?! Is everything alright?” she says once she reaches his door, but when she hears no reply, she grabs the door knob.
“Sorry, I'm coming in.” It’s not like she hadn’t seen him naked before anyway. Privacy never existed between them, and it most likely never will.
The first thing she sees is her brother, on the floor, his uniform pants halfway up.
She‘s immediately at his side, helping him up.
“‘Morning Kotone” he yawns, and Kotone hits the back of his head.
“Morning my ass. The hell happened here? I’m the clumsy twin, not you.”
She’s worried.
Tripping while putting on her uniform is something she would do, not Makoto.
“Nothing I just…lost feeling in my legs?”
It came out more like a question than a statement, like he himself isn’t even sure if that was what had happened.
“Okay…you think you’ll be okay?” she asks, mostly because she doesn’t feel like leaving him.
“Mhm, I think so yeah. Everyone already left?”
“Yeah. I made you coffee, so hurry up okay?”
With that she leaves him to finish getting dressed, leaving the door open in case anything happens.
He joins her in the lounge a few minutes later, and Kotone doesn’t comment when he downs the coffee in one go.
She washes his cup, and they make their way towards Iwatodai Station.
Once they’ve gotten on the train -and thankfully they get seats, Kotone doesn’t think Makoto is in any condition to stay standing- he sighs, “Sorry, we’re most likely gonna be late.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mako-nii.” she smiles at him, hoping to reassure not only her brother but herself as well.
Her brother gives her what could be classified as a smile only by Makoto standards, and Kotone counts it as a win.
They get off at Port Island Station, and walk towards Gekkoukan.
Walk , because it seemed that Makoto couldn't go any faster, and Kotone never cared for Mr. Ekoda’s class anyway.
“You should have gone on ahead, Kotone. One of us being late is better than both…” he says after they put their shoes in their lockers.
“I’m not leaving you, Mako-nii. We’re twins. If one of us is late, then so is the other.”
It’s silly and childish, but Makoto simply rolls his eyes, so she grabs his arm, and tugs him towards the stairs.
The halls were empty, given the late hour, and Kotone found herself enjoying the quiet.
As much as she was a ‘people person’, she also knew how to appreciate the calm that silence could bring at times.
They’ve reached their classroom, and Kotone turns around to look at Makoto, about to ask him if he’d rather skip first period, only to find him falling towards her.
“Makoto!?”
She wasn’t prepared for his sudden weight, and the two fall to the ground, her bare knees hitting the cold floor.
“Makoto? Hey, answer me?” she turns him around, and honestly isn’t surprised to find his eyes closed.
“Makoto, come on. This isn’t the time to take a nap.” she lightly hits his cheek in a futile attempt to rouse him.
Maybe she’d been louder than she thought.
Or maybe someone had just taken notice of them as they walked down the hall.
Point is, she suddenly notices Ms. Toriumi next to her, taking Makoto from her arms.
(She has to stop herself from snatching him back. Because maybe Yukari was right in saying that they are codependent. Losing your family at six years of age did that to a person. At least that’s what Shinji had told her.)
“Kotone-chan, what happened?”
It took her a second to realize that Ms. Toriumi is talking to her, and another to make herself talk.
“I don’t know. He was fine, but when I turned around he was falling and I tried to catch him but we both fell and he- he won’t answer me, he’s not answering me I don’t-”
“Kotone-chan, I need you to calm down. Can you call an ambulance?”
She nods, pulls out her phone and dial 119
>>>---<<<
Thursday, February 18th, 2010 - After School
He recognizes where he is before he even opens his eyes. The IV drip in his arm is a dead giveaway, really.
‘Hey love, how are you feeling?’
Ryoji’s voice is a welcome distraction from the aches that make themselves known as his senses return to him.
‘Half dead’, he thinks as he slowly opens his eyes.
Ryoji doesn’t really appreciate the joke, which. Rude?
Makoto blinks at the sudden light, and it takes him a few seconds to get his bearings and look at the person sitting on the chair next to his bed.
The sight of Yukari - or is Takeba now? They’re nowhere near as close as they were. She does call him by his last name, after all - sitting next to his hospital bed reminds him of December and April.
His memories of that day -April 9th- are hazy at best and completely missing at worst. What he knows is because of what Kotone and the security footage told him.
He does lament that he never got to witness his sister’s awakening.
Then again, what had triggered Kotone’s awakening had been him collapsing after Thanatos - Ryoji- had defeated the Magician Shadow.
…the Major Arcana Shadows only appeared after he moved into Iwatodai, and immediately attacked the dorm, huh?
“Ah! Yuuki-kun, you’re awake!”
His attention snaps back to Yu- Takeba.
She smiles softly at him, “We were really worried, you know? You and Kotone-chan were late, and then we heard Ms. Toriumi out in the hall calling out your name. She called an ambulance for you since you wouldn’t wake up…Kotone-chan was in shock. I never saw her shut down like that.”
Makoto did.
Ten years ago, when their parents died.
(Not that he’d been any better, mind you)
Yukari did, too.
Back in October after Takaya had shot Shinjiro and Kotone had chased after him, but he’d managed to get away and Junpei had to bring her back to them because Makoto was too busy shooting his Evoker over and over, calling forth Daisoujou and casting Diarahan again and again, the Hierophant Arcana was wavering, flickering, Kotone would be heartbroken, Makoto can’t let him die, it would ruin Ken and Sanada, and Mitsuru had just told him about their promise he-
‘Makoto, breathe-”
He takes in a breath, but it catches in his throat and he’s sent into a coughing fit.
Takeba,immediately hands him a glass of water, which Makoto gulps down.
He feels Cybele hum her approval, and his wildly beating heart calms down at the warmth she fills him with.
“Sorry. How long has it been?”
Yukari stares at her hands in her lap, avoiding his eyes.
“Three days. Yuuki-kun…” she trails off, before raising her gaze and meeting his eyes dead on, “The doctors weren’t able to determine what was wrong with you. But…they said it could have been exhaustion? Have you…are you okay? Have you not been sleeping well?”
He considers his options.
He could lie, say he’s fine and she’d only glare at him.
But…
‘She deserves better than that, and you know it.’
Makoto knows Ryoji’s right
Yukari might not remember their friendship, but Makoto does.
“You could say that. I mean, exhaustion comes with narcolepsy, but…lately it just got worse. It’s nothing to worry about though, really. I’m used to this.”
She seems surprised by his honesty, and she smiles softly at him.
“You should tell Kirijo-senpai. And…I’m here, if you want to talk. I don’t know why, but I feel like I want to help you.”
“Thank you, Yukari.”
He realizes too late that he called her by her given name, but she smiles at him brightly before he could apologize.
“Anytime, Makoto.”
>>>---<<<
Kotone is normally a calm person.
Still, she almost took the door off its hinges in her haste to open it and see her brother.
She feels an immense weight fall off her shoulders the moment her eyes fall on Makoto, propped up against the pillows and softly talking to Yukari.
“Makoto!” she almost flings herself at him, but catches herself at the last moment.
Yukari smiles at her, getting up from the chair next to her brother’s bed.
“Kotone-chan, I’m going to the cafeteria downstairs. Do you want anything?”
Kotone shakes her head, and Yukari leaves the two alone, gently closing the door behind her.
Her shaky legs carry her across the room, and she wordlessly let herself drop down on the chair.
He’s pale -paler than usual, that is- and it looks like even just sitting up is tiring him out. The bags under his eyes -something she had grown used to over the years- are even darker than usual.
“Hey Kotone.” her brother says eventually, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room.
“Hey my ass. Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
He’s her only family.
In the whole world, he’s the one person that she could count on to be there, with her, at all times.
He’s her other half, and where one went, the other followed.
(This isn’t the first time Makoto’s collapsed though. They’ve been dealing with this all their lives. This is nothing new. And yet there’s something screaming at her that this isn't normal.)
“Sorry,” he says, yet Kotone feels like he’s keeping something from her.
“You just passed out like that, at the top of the stairs! You scared the hell out of me. And Ms. Toriumi had me call an ambulance when you didn’t wake up, and do you have any idea how scared I was? You were lying there, on the floor, out cold in the hands of our homeroom teacher!”
“Sorry…” he repeats.
“Just…don’t do that to me ever again. I can’t handle losing you, you know that.” she says, deflating as all the fight leaves her body.
(Still, she feels incredibly uneasy, and she doesn’t like this.)
(She doesn’t miss the guilty look that crosses Makoto’s features)
>>>---<<<
Sunday, February 21st, 2010 - Daytime
Kotone insists that he has to make it up to her for ‘scaring her so much’, so she drags him out of bed and to Paulownia Mall to go shopping with her.
‘You don’t mind it, so stop complaining.’
Makoto rolls his eyes at Ryoji’s quip, but doesn’t deny it.
Of course he doesn’t mind.
It is the 21st.
He only has eleven days left.
‘I’m sorry.’
“Don’t apologize. "I chooseth this fate of mine own free will’, right?”
Ryoji lets out a chuckle, but it’s so sad, and Makoto yearns to take the pain away from his Death.
‘I suppose you’re right’
“Mako-nii! What do you think of this one?”
His sister steps out of the dressing room, wearing a red sweater dress.
He hums, “Looks good.”
Kotone rolls her eyes, tsking, “Of course it looks good, dummy. I’m asking you whether I should buy it or not.”
Despite already knowing the answers, he asks, “Who’s paying?”
Kotone smiles at him, one of her most charismatic smiles, “You of course!
Makoto lets the smile tugging at his lips to show.
It’s Kotone, after all.
“Then you should buy it.”
She smiles at him brightly, and Makoto knows that it would be worth every yen he’d spend for her.
“Then gimme a moment to change out of this, then we can go to the register.”
True to her word, she doesn’t stay there long, and the two make their way to pay for Kotone’s shopping.
‘Good thing Shadow hunting pays well, huh?’
Makoto hums, ‘Yeah, I have way too much money. I think I’ll split it between all of them, with most of it going to Kotone and Ken…’
He’s snapped out of his thoughts when he bumps into Kotone , who had been walking in front of him, but now has stopped, her eyes glued to something in front of her.
“Kotone?”
“Who…we…we know someone with a scarf like this, right?”
Makoto feels all blood in his veins freeze as he follows her gaze to a mannequin that wore a yellow scarf.
‘Huh…would you look at that…’
“Where…where is he, now?”
Makoto really wants to answer her.
He really does.
But he can’t bring himself to do anything other than choke out a lie.
“I don’t know.”
>>>---<<<
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 - Evening
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”
Kotone knows she shouldn’t scream at him like that.
“Get off my case, Kotone! Just drop it, I’m fine!”
Makoto is just making it really hard not to yell at him.
“The hell you are! You’re sleeping all the time, you’re randomly passing out, you’re weak and tire easily, and I’m supposed to think you’re fine?!”
Makoto glares at her, “YES! That’s what I’m telling you! Just leave me be damn it!”
Kotone has no idea why the hell he’s pushing her away.
She just knows she doesn’t like it.
At all.
“Makoto, look, I don’t know what your deal is but you’re clearly not okay, please-”
Whatever it is her brother was going to say -and udging by the look on his face it wasn’t going to be anything nice-, never leaves his mouth, because he immediately falls silent the moment the front door is pushed open.
Kirijo-senpai looks at them, and frowns.
“Ah…good evening…” she trails off, looking between the two of them, “I’m sorry, have I interrupted something…?”
Before Kotone could say yes -and a part of her was telling her to tell Kirijo-senpai about this whole thing, she would take care of it- Makoto beats her to it.
“No, nothing, Mi- Kirijo-senpai. Good night.”
He makes a break for the stairs, and the two girls are left standing in the lounge.
Kirijo shifts her weight from one foot to the other, “I’m sorry, I-”
Kotone immediately stops her, shaking her head, “No, it’s not your fault, Kirijo-senpai. We were just…we were having a fight, I guess.”
Her senpai hums, “If you want, we could…talk about it? I could make us a cup of tea.”
The offer doesn’t seem as odd as it should.
She feels like she can trust Kirijo-senpai, confide in her and tell her about her worries.
…like a mother…?
Why…why does something within her, like an echo from a forgotten memory, whisper ‘Empress’ in a voice she recognizes as Makoto’s?
“I would like that, senpai. Thank you.”
The redhead nods, making her way towards the kitchen.
(“My, my, Mako-nii, you made pancakes?”
“Just go get the others you fiend”
“Senpai! Look at this, insulting his darling little sister!”
A laugh, “He’s not wrong.”
“Unbelievable. You both are unbelievable.”)
Kirijo sets a steaming cup of tea in front of her, jolting her out of the…memory?
It feels like one, but…she doesn’t remember anything of the sort…
Kirijo-senpai sits next to her, “So, what happened?”
Kotone wraps her hands around the ceramic, feeling the tea’s warmth.
“I…it’s just, Makoto’s condition’s been worsening. He’s always sleepy, always tired, and I’m still worried about how he just andomly collapsed the other day…he just won’t tell me what’s going on. I told him we should get him an appointment, but he just brushed me off, and I- I’m just so worried…”
The other girl hums in thought, “He suffers from narcolepsy, correct?”
Kotone nods, “Yeah, but…it’s never been this bad. And I know he’s taking his meds, so it’s not that either…it…it feels like it’s something else completely…”
“I…I know it might not be much, but…if anything of the sort happens again, come get me. I’ll make sure he receives the help necessary.”
(“It represents femininity, beauty, nurturing, motherly instincts.”
“Yeah, that does sound like Mitsuru-senpai alright!”
“Kotone! I-...well, I’m glad you two feel that way, then.”)
“Thank you, senpai.”
>>>---<<<
Friday, February 26th, 2010 - After School
Makoto is tired.
But he’s already skipped Kendo a lot lately, and it’s one of the few things he actually enjoys, and he can’t even play the violin anymore, his fingers are too numb for that, so he ignores Kotone’s pointed look and drags himself down to the gym.
And at first, he manages.
He ignores both the building migraine and Ryoji nagging him to rest, and falls into the routine of practicing with his team.
It’s halfway through that shit hits the fan, as they say.
“Yuuki, are you sure you’re okay man? You’re really pale…”
He’s about to say that yes, he’s fine, but the shinai slips from his trembling grasp and clatters loudly on the floor.
He moves to pick it up again, but the movement makes him dizzy, and he thinks he hears Yuko shout for someone to get the coach, but he doesn’t hear her.
He’s already out before he hits the floor.
>>>---<<<
“We’ve run all kinds of tests. He does have a somewhat low blood pressure, and he doesn’t seem to be eating properly, but…other than that, there’s nothing wrong, per se, so he can leave as soon as he wakes up. Still, it’s quite worrying that he’s collapsed twice in such a short time.”
“Thank you very much doctor. We’ll take care of him from here.”
“I’m here to do my job, Kirijo-san. Don’t hesitate to bring him here if anything happens.”
The sound of footsteps walking away, and a door sliding open and the closed again.
“I know you’re awake, Yuuki.”
Well, he never could hide from her.
He opens his eyes and turns to look at his senpai.
She studies his expression for a few seconds, before sighing and sitting down on the chair.
It reminds him of December, when he’d landed himself in the hospital and all of S.E.E.S. had taken turns to always keep him company, the chair by his bedside never empty for long.
“I’m sure you heard what the doctor said.”
Knowing that lying to Mitsuru is impossible, he simply nods.
“Do you have any idea as to what the cause of…this is?”
Makoto takes back his previous sentiment.
He shakes his head, and feels Alilat’s disapproval at the lie.
Mitsuru also doesn’t seem to buy it.
“I’m worried, Yuuki. I know we haven't talked much, and I don’t know how the past ten years have been for you and your sister, but…”
She trails off, looking conflicted, and Makoto forces himself not to hope.
It’s in vain, he knows.
They don’t remember.
They will.
Makoto wonders.
“My apologies, that was out of place. Still, my sentiment remains. I’m worried, your sister is worried, and even Takeba and Iori are…If you need anything, simply say so.”
With that she leaves, and Makoto feels the Empress’ bond mock him.
>>>---<<<
Monday, March 1st, 2010 - Evening
It’s while he’s lying in bed -it’s hard to do anything else- that Makoto is hit by the realization that he should leave them all something.
He has to write a will, too.
So, with a groan, he gets up from bed and drags himself to his desk.
It takes way more effort than it should.
Still, he's determined, so he starts, deciding to first write a letter for each one of them, and then move on to the will.
*
To Iori Junpei, my Magician,
I'm sorry. You tried so hard to reach out, to understand me, and I know I'm not easy to talk to. But I'm so glad I met you. And I'm glad you still decided to stick by me. Even if you were jealous. But really, I was just as lost as you are. I did what I did, not because I'm some special guy. Simply, I would do anything to protect those I care about with little regard to my life. You, on the other hand, cherish life beyond measure. You looked at two people who had given up on life and said "eff that". I am so happy Chidori is still alive. She might not remember, and maybe that's for the best, but I am so, so, glad she’s alive. She deserves that. You deserve this. Just, please, look out for Kotone? I trust you'll protect her in my stead now.
Love, Yuuki Makoto
02/01/2010
*
To Yamagishi Fuuka, my Priestess,
Please, please, believe in yourself. You have a place where you belong, Fuuka, and people who love you and want you around. And most importantly, screw what your parents want. It's your life, you should live it however you want. Never forget that.
Love, Yuuki Makoto
03/01/2010
*
To Kirijo Mitsuru, my Empress,
I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. While the reasons might not have been the best, it is still thanks to you that me and Kotone have come back here. And it’s here that we found our family. I'm glad I'm not leaving Kotone alone, rather with people that love and care about her as she deserves. Thank you for taking care of us for this year, Senpai, and I hope you will keep taking care of my sister for me. I hope you manage to find your place, and I know you'll manage on your own to feet, but never forget that you can lean on others. You reminded me of that quite often, so don't forget that.
Love, Yuuki Makoto
02/01/2010
*
To Sanada Akihiko, my Emperor,
Thank you. For looking out for me, for Kotone, for Ken and for all of SEES. Kotone was right, you and Mitsuru-senpai really were like our mom and dad. So thanks. And I'm sorry that I won’t be able to see you grow to be as strong and kind as I know you can be. You'll just have to tell me about all the trouble you got yourself into when we meet again.
Love, Yuuki Makoto,
03/01/2010
*
To Aragaki Shinjiro, my Hierophant,
If you're reading this, then you're awake. In that case, took you long enough. But I'm glad. I'm sure Kotone's happy. And thank you. For making my sister happy. For pulling me out of myself. For living. I might be the one who cast healing spell over healing spell, but if you had given up then it would have been for nothing. So thank you.
Having said that, you better keep your promise to me to never hurt Kotone and to always stand by her.
Otherwise I will come back and haunt you.
Love, Yuuki Makoto
03/01/2010
*
To Takeba Yukari, my Lovers,
Please, please keep going.
You once told me that you think that losing someone you love and having to go on alone is hard, and I told you that you're probably right. Well, you're not. Alone, that is. You have Junpei, Mitsuru-senpai, Kotone, Fuuka, Aigis, Ken, Koromaru, Akihiko-senpai. You have all of our friends, so don't let the fact that I'm not there anymore drag you down. I'm really sorry I won’t be able to take you to Destinyland. I'm really sorry about all the promises I made that I won’t be able to keep. But I'm not sorry about dying. I would choose you guys in a heartbeat, again and again. So please, enjoy life for the both of us. And I still think you should give modeling a shot.
Just a thought.
Love, Yuuki Makoto,
03/01/2010
*
To Amada Ken, my Justice,
I’m so glad I was able to see you grow.
You have all of these wonderful people around, and you actually realized their value far earlier than I did. So I’m sure you’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about growing up. It’ll come in its own time, so please enjoy what you have left of your childhood. And I trust that you’ll take care of Koromaru in my stead now, so I’ll leave him to you.
Love, Yuuki Makoto,
03/01/2010
*
To Koromaru, my Strength,
I trust that someone will read this to you. You’re a smart boy, you’ll understand, and you’re part of the family as much as the others, so it’s only fair I leave you something as well. I’m so sorry boy. I know you wanted to stay with me. But you understand wanting to protect your home. And S.E.E.S. is my home. It took me a really long time, but I figured it out. They’re my family, my home, my beginning and my completion. That’s why I’m sure you understand.
Love, Yuuki Makoto,
03/01/2010
*
To Aigis, my Aeon,
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
You said you would always stay by my side, and I told you I would love to stand by yours.
Yet here I am, another broken promise.
I know you'll find your answer to life. I know you will. I believe in you Aigis, because you are far more human than you gave yourself credit for. So please, don’t worry. I know you'll be just fine.
Love, Makoto Yuuki
03/01/2010
*
(Makoto looks at the blank paper, with it only written ‘To Kotone’, and breaks down in tears.
Tears of grief, because he doesn’t want to die.
And isn’t it ironic, that after so long of being apathetic to life and death, he’s finally found it in himself to want to live again, only to have to sacrifice it all.
But he would do it, again and again, if it meant that his family would live even just a day more.
But still, he can’t help but cry.
He’ll never get to see them all grow to their full potential.
He’ll never get to see his sister pursue her dream, become a music teacher, and just be happy.
He knows she will.
He just wishes he could have been by her side.)