Work Text:
It started as an accident.
A missing wallet from Akaashi Keiji’s bag after a quick trip to visit his professional volleyball friend, Bokuto Kotaro, is what started it.
A simple misplace, he thought to himself, already dialing the number to his (much once closer) friend. He would stop by the next day and pick it up, bringing it back to his apartment, and bidding Bokuto farewell once again— no big deal. He wouldn’t even have to think that much about it.
Two weeks later, Akaashi could barely count on two hands the items he’d “lost” at Bokuto’s apartment and had to go and retrieve them within the next few days.
In these specific circumstances, there are two major people involved: Akaashi, who harmlessly began to leave things in his friend's apartment, and Bokuto, who keeps finding all of his shit in random places every time he leaves.
These are their stories.
Ⅰ. The Wallet
‘Ah, crap,’ thought one Akaashi, hands digging through his backpack on the train ride back home. He had been searching for about ten minutes without a semblance of anything resembling a leather wallet, and he was finally accepting the truth: he had left it at Bokuto’s.
;; Bo-ku-to; noun
Def. Pro. volleyball player for the V.League team “MSBY Black Jackals.” Also Akaashi Keiji’s self-proclaimed “best friend.” A humanified owl with the personality of a ray of sunshine.
Syn. Happy-Go-Lucky, Optimistic, Joyful
‘It’s no big deal,’ his mind rang, ‘I can just pick it up tomorrow. I have the day off work. I have cash. It’ll be fine.’
He grabbed his phone from his pocket with a slight hum and opened the messages app, scrolling slightly to get to Bokuto’s contact. The dates since the last few messages were sent were a bit scattered, as little as Akaashi wanted to fully admit that. He knew that they had both been busy and there hadn’t been much time to talk, but he didn’t necessarily want it to be that way. Life had a strange, evil way of pulling him away from what he wanted. But he didn’t have time to think about it.
Akaashi: Good evening Bokuto-san, I must’ve left my wallet–
‘No. Too formal.’
Akaashi: Bokuto-san, I left my wallet in your apartment. I’m coming to get it tomorrow–
‘Too cold. You don’t want him to think that you only text him when you want something.’
Akaashi: Hey, Bokuto-san. I think I left my wallet on your coffee table. Do you mind if I stop by tomorrow afternoon to pick it up? Thank you.
He ran over the text with his eyes a few times before sending it. The slight increase in his heart rate as his finger hovered over the light blue “send” button made him wonder, but he ultimately concluded that it was his normal anxiety. He had always been somewhat of an overthinker (in his words). If you asked someone like Konoha, he’d probably laugh and tell you what a weirdo Akaashi was.
;; Ko-no-ha; noun
Def. An asshole, but a good friend*
Syn. Jerk
*Definition changes based on Akaashi’s last conversation with him**
**Their last conversation was Konoha laughing at Akaashi for him being nervous about visiting Bokuto
Moments later, Akaashi felt a slight buzz from his phone and promptly picked it up, adjusting his glasses slightly.
Bokuto: Hey hey!!!! Of ciurse u can!!!! I dont midn:)
He smiled a bit. Truthfully, he missed the warmth of Bokuto’s laugh, his infectious smile that could even be portrayed through text. He was always a beaming light, a ball of sunshine ready to affect anyone that he could. He made everyone (very much including Akaashi) better, it was one of his many talents. It was one of his favorite things about him. Not to mention how quickly he texted like he didn’t have to think about it. They were opposites in that manner. Akaashi had so many worries and stresses when it came to how he appeared to people socially, but Bokuto never thought about any of that. He was so confident. He knew that as long as he was who he wanted to be, the right people would find him.
It hit him. He was thinking way too much about a poorly written, nine-word text with a smiley emoticon and way too many exclamation points. He needed to– in Konoha’s words– get real.
Akaashi: Thank you. I will see you tomorrow then.
‘Missing something.’
Akaashi: :)
He pushed down the feeling of excitement bubbling up in his chest, but he couldn’t shake the joy of being able to see his high school best friend again. Their busy lives had drifted them apart, even with the earlier hangout, so every opportunity to spend time together was an opportunity that Akaashi took happily. TL;DR, he missed him, and he was happy to see him again.
The next day started at ten A.M. for Akaashi Keiji (as Bokuto could attest to, he was not a morning person). He showered, brushed his teeth, ate a small breakfast of a couple of granola bars, fiddled around his counter for his wallet, which– oh yeah, he left at Bokuto’s apartment– and then sleepily made his way out the door.
The train ride there wasn’t anything special. Most of the ride included Akaashi passing out, his head resting against the metal pole, and thinking happily about the reunion (re-reunion maybe because they had just seen each other yesterday). It was silly to take a whole forty-minute train ride down just because of a wallet with nothing too important in it, but what could he say? He was perhaps slightly head over heels for the owl that he didn’t see very often, and any chance to see him was a good one in his eyes.
‘If Konoha knew I was real with myself about my feelings about Bokuto he’d surely start crying,’ Akaashi chuckled to himself, a mental image accompanying his thoughts:
There Konoha sat on his legs, tears streaming down from his eyes and his hands hitting the ground. Komi and Saru were there, laughing with him. “You’re telling me Akaashi finally confessed to himself?! SEVEN YEARS AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?!” Mind-Konoha cried out. Komi and Sarukui gently patted his back.
He was quietly laughing to himself when he opened his eyes and realized, oh yeah, he was sitting alone on a train. He looked like a weirdo. Sinking into his seat, he pulled out his phone, and a surprise notification popped up on his screen.
Bokuto: Excited for you to get here!!!!!!!!!! We should get lucnh before you leave again:))))) my treat!!!!!! I’m hungry lol. LMK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
He smiled softly down at his phone, his grip tightening a little bit. He angled the phone upwards a bit as if the words he chose to say to Bokuto were some kind of secret, and the hint of red in his cheeks certainly wasn’t helping that.
Akaashi: Maybe if I have time. I will let you know.
Bokuto: Promise??
Akaashi: ?
Akaashi: Promise what? I just said maybe.
Bokuto: Promise you’ll let me know!!!
Akaashi: Ah.
Akaashi: Okay.
Akaashi: I promise I’ll let you know, Bokuto-san.
Bokuto: YAYYYY
Needless to say, he was quite giddy the rest of the train ride over.
Getting to Bokuto’s house was the highlight of his day. Or maybe it was when he stepped off the train, filled with the quiet, stoic excitement of seeing Bokuto. Or maybe it was when he knocked on the door and was instantly greeted with a loud, cheerful, “AKAASHI” and a big hug. Who knows, all he knew was that he was glad to be hugging back, albeit he knew how dramatic he was being. It had only been a day.
Had he missed Bokuto this much?
“So! Can you let me know about lunch yet?” Bokuto asked with a grin.
Akaashi checked his phone. Truthfully, the answer was always going to be a yes. He wasn’t sure why he indicated there would be any other answer. Maybe he was trying to save himself some sort of invisible embarrassment, follow some societal rules that he made up in his mind. His usual Akaashi-isms.
;; A-ka-a-shi-ism; noun
Def. The “over the top” mannerisms of one anxious Akaashi Keiji. An illegitimate word that Bokuto made up which quickly got passed around the Fukurodani Volleyball Club.
Syn. Normal behavior*, Politeness**
*Bokuto says this is not normal
**Bokuto also says there is a difference between being polite and driving yourself crazy with your own rules
“I should have enough time for a quick lunch,” he hummed, placing his phone down.
“HURRAY!”
Lunch was nice, Akaashi thought. Lots of smiling and laughing, little loving glances at Bokuto whenever he seemed too caught up in whatever he was talking about. This was what hanging out with him was like. Bokuto could ramble forever, he loved talking, and he loved hanging out with people, so the reaction was quite warranted. Most people would find blabbering like this annoying, but certainly not Akaashi. In fact, he wanted to know everything on his former ace’s mind quite literally all the time. He found him absolutely fascinating. A lot of people respected Bokuto on the court as someone who could uplift both his teammates and the opposing team, but Akaashi seemed to be the only one (except for excitable children and Hinata Shoyo, basically the same thing) to actually appreciate Bokuto’s happy-go-lucky personality off the court. He wasn’t quite sure how that could be.
And then came the shitty part of the night: leaving. God, if Akaashi really didn’t want anything ever, he really did not want to leave. Unfortunately, he had a deadline approaching soon, and he couldn’t skip out on his life just to take part in Bokuto’s full-time. Plus, despite their closeness, he wasn’t actually quite sure how Bokuto really felt about him. Sure, he may have watched Akaashi board the train and waved with a small blush and a bright smile until the train whisked Akaashi out of sight, but really he would’ve done that for anyone. At least, Akaashi thought so as he was boarding the train.
He realized something, sitting on the uncomfortable plastic of the seat; he hated this! He wanted to go back to Bokuto, do his work sitting on the couch with a rather muscular arm wrapped around his shoulders, and be content. He did not like the train, he did not like the train seat, he did not like the cramped, lonely apartment he was in.
But what was he to do about it?
With a small huff, he dug through his bag, rummaging around and pulling out his phone–.
‘Where is my phone?’
He dug around some more, eyes darting around and hands clawing through every inch of his bag. He needed his phone, he had many business calls that week and it was going to be hell if he had to do them through his office phone. He hoped and prayed he didn’t leave it in that goddamn restaurant. Maybe he was stupid, after all.
Once the train pulled to a stop, Akaashi hopped out and ran to the closest payphone. He didn’t know the restaurant's phone number, but he did know Bokuto’s, and he was sure that if he left it there, Bokuto would’ve remembered. He had a great memory, Akaashi recalled as he dialed the only phone number he seemed to have in his mind.
“Hey hey!! You’ve reached Bokuto!! Who’s this?”
“Hello, Bokuto-san.”
“Akaashi?! Why are you calling from a random number?”
Akaashi took a slightly embarrassed breath in. “I seem to have misplaced my phone. Do you remember me putting it down at the restaurant at all?”
“Hmmm. I don’t think you had it at the restaurant!!”
What.
“Last place I remember you having it isssss… MHM! You put it down on the counter!” There was a bit of rustling around on the other end of the call. “Here it is!! Got it!”
Shit. Of course, the one time he forgets his phone somewhere, it just so happens to be a forty-minute train ride out of his way.
He sighed. “I’m going to have to pick it up tomorrow morning. I’ll have to be back by noon, I have a business call at one. I apologize for the inconvenience, Bokuto-san. I’m not sure why I have been so irresponsible with my personal belongings.”
“Don’t worry, ‘Kaashi! I’ll keep it safe for ya!”
“Please don’t take any pictures.”
“HAH, no promises! Hey, you can even come on my morning run!! It’ll be fun!”
And that’s when it hit him, the most devious, mischievous plan Akaashi Keiji had ever thought up in his life. Thank god for his beacons of light that was his complete irresponsibility and shitty memory. A small grin twitched its way onto his evil, ingenious face.
“Okay, Bokuto-san.”
With a quick “goodbye” and a “see you soon”, he hung up the phone with that same, stupid smile. This marked the start of operation LSBAA.
;; L-S-B-A-A; noun
Def. An abbreviation of “Leave Shit at Bokuto’s Apartment for Attention.”
Syn. There are none*.
*Konoha would say “insanity.”**
**Akaashi does not care to recognize this.
In the back of his mind, he could hear Konoha lightly scolding him.
“What’s wrong with you?! Just tell him you like him!!”
Not today, mind-Konoha. There were things to be done. And things to leave behind.
A Brief Intermission.
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!” Yelled the real-life-Konoha on the other line.
Akaashi Keiji held his apartment phone a bit away from his face, closing an eye to seemingly brace for the shooting pain in his ear. Konoha and his language. What a prick (see: Definition of Konoha).
“Akaashi. Keiji. Can I call you that?” Akaashi could hear Konoha take a breath. “YOU’RE CRAZY!”
“I thought you would say that…” Akaashi mumbled. He wondered how long it had taken for his (former) teammates to realize he was just as odd as Bokuto.
“JUST TELL THE MAN YOU LIKE HIM! God you two are INSUFFERABLE. What have I told you?! What have I told you MULTIPLE TIMES would happen if you happened to confess your love?!” And as if he were purposely torturing Akaashi, Konoha waited for an answer.
“You said he would like—,” but Akaashi was cut off.
“I SAID HE WOULD LIKE YOU BACK! AND YET YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME!”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s that—.”
“YOU HAVE NO BALLS! God, where are Komi and Saru when you really need them. This is fucking ridiculous. Knowing you, you won’t listen to me when I tell you this plan makes you look like a crazy person. If you went ‘la-dee-da’ and skipped your way over to Bokuto’s door and were all like ‘oooh, Bokuto-san, I’ve liked you since, like, forever,’ he would start wailing. Absolutely no balls, Akaashi.” What a pain Konoha was. No, really, he was such a prick (see: Synonyms of Konoha).
“Listen, Akaashi. You know I respect you, but you’re so insecure about everything. You’re gonna do your little plan anyway, because I know you, and I know you are, but just remember what I said. I’m calling Saru and Komi now, I’ve got bets to place. See ya.”
The line went dead, continuous beeps ringing out from the speaker on the phone.
Akaashi stared in disbelief.
Ⅱ. The Phone
The plan was hatched (although Akaashi was now a little bit more insecure about the whole ordeal).
Akaashi sat on the train, hands on his knees, tapping his fingers up and down in a little “pitter, patter” motion. He admittedly looked a little pathetic, but had it not been for his own patheticness, he wouldn’t have been on the train at all. So really, was being pathetic all that bad?
Konoha was just dramatic. He had always been. He would always overreact to Bokuto’s little meltdowns, and Akaashi always had to play the mediator. And although this was quite a different situation, Konoha was still showing the same impatience he had since high school. Akaashi was just as level-headed.
Well, maybe level-headed wasn’t a good word. More like resourceful. Yeah, Akaashi liked that word.
He smiled to himself. ‘Resourceful. Yes. I’m just taking the things I have and using them at my disposal. And in this instance, it’s leaving them behind.’ He clenched the train ticket in his fist a little tighter.
;; de-lu-sion-al; adjective
Def. Everybody already knows the definition. “Based on faulty judgments” (Google) yada yada yada.
Syn. Akaashi Keiji
Okay. So maybe Akaashi had been acting a bit irrationally. But really, who cares? It’s not as if he was hurting anyone. All in all, this was the healthy thing to do. Bokuto had mentioned wishing they had more time together, after all, so really Akaashi was just doing him a little favor. And also doing himself a little favor. A little favor to everyone except his bank account (train tickets are more expensive than Akaashi had previously realized).
As his train halted to a stop, he realized he had no more time left to ponder the moral justifications of his actions, and a small sigh of relief escaped his lips. Quietly, he picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder, a small smile on his face as he walked off the train and sat on a bench. All he had left to do now was wait for his dear friend Bokuto. And maybe spend the whole day with him. Who knows!
It was early morning, and Akaashi could see his breath whisking away with the winds as it escaped his mouth. He wasn’t sure what time Bokuto would be arriving, and he didn’t exactly have his phone to check up on him. The chill of the dawn sliced against his skin, and he hurriedly pulled his scarf up to his nose to keep warm.
He hoped Bokuto hadn’t bailed, but he wouldn’t blame him if he did.
No. He needed to stop that. He was being completely ridiculous with his thoughts. He had no reason to believe Bokuto would bail. He was the one to offer in the first place. It was just another one of his Akaashi-isms. Oh crap, he was using that stupid made-up word now. He needed to stop being silly. The thoughts were engraved into his head like words on stone, endlessly reading themselves over and over again. He couldn’t find a way to shut his brain off.
“Hey, Akaashi!!” Boasted the unmistakable loud yet soothing voice of Bokuto Kotaro as he ran closer. He wore shorts over tight leggings that hugged his legs nicely and a compression shirt that– well, I shan’t say, but Akaashi suddenly found that all insecure thoughts had escaped his mind.
He averted his gaze and pulled up his scarf to hide his red-tinted cheeks. “Bokuto-san, it’s freezing. Are you not cold?”
“HA!! Me? Cold? Nah, I’ve been running too much today! I’m almost sweatin’!” He cheesed. This was to be expected from someone as active as Bokuto. “So! Are you ready to run?”
“May I please have my phone back before that?” Akaashi asked, still not meeting Bokuto’s eyes.
Bokuto stifled a laugh, which told Akaashi he had done something stupid again. He braced himself for the worst. “Well, I may have left it at my apartment by accident… so I was hoping you wouldn’t ask until we started running… but we can just run back there! I’ve got some breakfast that I can make for ya!”
Akaashi blinked. This was quite the opposite of the worst.
“Bokuto-san, I’m on a time crunch, remember?”
“Don’t worry!!! I’ll make sure you’re back on the train by eleven sharp! That way you’re back in time for your business meeting!” Bokuto smiled and lit up the entire room, almost forcing Akaashi to shield his eyes from the star in front of him. He could feel the heat gleaming off of him and warming up Akaashi’s face. Or perhaps that was the rush of blood. Either was a viable option.
“...Okay.”
Bokuto beamed even more (if even humanly possible) and grabbed Akaashi’s hands, gently pulling him up onto his feet. Akaashi prayed that his palms weren’t as hot as his face from the unexpected gesture. He could hear his conscience yelling at him to get his act together, but he didn’t exactly feel in control of himself as he nearly stumbled on his way up. Bokuto had this weird way of making him feel lifeless like he didn’t have to focus on anything if he were around. It was calming. It was easy. And yet it stressed Akaashi out endlessly.
“Then let’s go!!” Yelled Bokuto, and he started to take off.
Despite being a long way from his high school athlete days, Akaashi trailed behind him. As he ran, he ever-so-slightly noticed Bokuto slowing down to match his pace. It was sweet. It was just like Bokuto.
;; love; noun
Def. What??? We cannot be on love so quickly. How did we get here?! This is crazy talk. No, this is not love yet. That would be ridiculous. This is a crush.
Syn. Not Involving Akaashi Keiji
The run wasn’t as much of a run as it was a walk, especially with Akaashi not being in the same shape he was in during high school. Work had practically taken over his life, and he didn’t have time to work out as meticulously as he used to. Bokuto didn’t seem to mind at all though, as he stayed by his side no matter the step, talking endlessly about any thought he was thinking of.
The great thing about Bokuto was the fact that no matter how fantastical, how out of reach he might’ve been for Akaashi, he never cared. He always viewed them as equals, and as much as he talked of his life, he wanted to know ten times more about Akaashi’s. Sure, he loved getting to brag about his team or the Olympics or anything of the sort, but there was a certain glint in his eyes whenever Akaashi would start talking about a project he was passionate about that didn’t seem to appear whenever he himself talked. Akaashi couldn’t help but observe.
“Welp, we’re here!” Bokuto announced, fiddling his hands in his pockets as he pulled out his keys and opened the door. “Make yourself at home!! I’m gonna whip us up breakfast!”
“Don’t take long, Bokuto-san. Remember, time crunch.” Akaashi paused. “I can help if you’d like.”
“Don’t be silly, ‘Kaashi! You’re the guest!!”
“Yes, but I did make you spend time with me because I left my phone here. My apologies for that, by the way.”
“Make me?” Bokuto asked, slightly tilting his head. “You didn’t make me do anything. I love spending time with you!”
And he smiled that warm, Bokuto smile that made Akaashi melt. He sat down on the couch quietly, a small grin on his face. How dare this guy be so perfect.
;; Bo-ku-to; adjective
Def. Used to describe something that is so welcoming it’s almost impossible.
Syn. Warm, Happy, Loving
“Just sit right there, ‘kay? We can talk from here and there!! I would say come hang out in the kitchen, but there’s not many places to sit… maybe I should invest in a good island stool!” Bokuto thought out loud as he cracked a couple of eggs and threw them in a pan.
“Maybe you should,” Akaashi hummed as he got up from the couch. “Can I grab my phone back now?”
“Oh! Right! Uh…,” Bokuto thought to himself. “Let me get it when I’m done cooking, ‘kay!!”
Akaashi tilted his head lightly but joined Bokuto in the kitchen with a small smile. “Alright. I’ll help you then.”
“Nooo!! Akaashi! You’re supposed to be the guest!”
“I am the guest, and I’m telling you I want to help. It would be rude if you didn’t give the guest what they want, would it not?”
Bokuto gulped. “I suppose.” After a few moments, a big goofy grin popped up on his face, and he whisper-yelled to Akaashi, “Did ya’ hear the way I used ‘suppose’?!”
“I did. Good job.” Akaashi smiled and put a couple of pieces of whole wheat toast in his (probably never used) toaster. Bokuto was something he was sure he could never encounter where he lived, a breath of fresh air that Akaashi was always yearning for more of. He missed this, he missed him. Although it was nine in the morning on a Monday in the sheer cold, all Akaashi could feel were the warmth of his cheeks and the loud, boisterous laugh of his best friend when he told a stupid joke. This was all he needed.
A couple of screw-ups later and something that resembled a healthy, tasty breakfast was displayed on the dining room table, accompanied by a proud Bokuto and a mostly-satisfied Akaashi. It was… alright, but the toast was very obviously burnt, some of the eggs had broken in the pan so the texture was off, and the shape of the pancakes Bokuto decided to make on a whim wasn’t exactly… circular. But it was fine, because Akaashi and Bokuto made this food together, and that was all Akaashi could ask for. He took off his scarf and put it at his side as he took his seat across from his friend. Eating a couple of burnt pieces was a fine punishment for his selfishness if he had a couple of more moments with Bokuto Kotaro.
Breakfast was filled with rambling, catching up, and quick laughs. It was encompassed by Akaashi reminding Bokuto not to talk with his mouth open multiple times, and Bokuto laughing it off every time. It was nice and sweet and genuine, something that Akaashi knew he couldn’t find anywhere else besides at his former teammate’s side. Genuinity was Bokuto’s strength, which he couldn’t say about anyone else. But his pleasantness also meant time felt faster, something that Akaashi had an extreme hatred for.
He took no pleasure in standing up and throwing his bag over his shoulder, bringing his dish to the kitchen sink and washing it off. He took no pleasure in checking the time on the oven clock. He took no pleasure in checking his bag to make sure all of his belongings were there. And he absolutely took no pleasure in saying: “Bokuto-san, I have to get going. Thank you for an enjoyable breakfast and a nice walk.”
Bokuto pouted. “Man, so soon?! It feels like you just got here!!”
Akaashi hummed. “I have work at one today. I can’t miss it. I would stay if I could.”
“Alright… I’ll walk ya back.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that, it’s not a bad walk, and I’m sure you have a very busy day–.”
“Nonsense!!! I’d be happy to walk with you!!! I don’t have anything goin’ on ‘til practice later!! So I totally have time!” Bokuto beamed. “Plus, I always have time for you Akaashi!!”
Akaashi was sure he had just collapsed, but somehow managed to maintain his composure. “Alright.” He fiddled with his thumbs. “Oh, I need my phone back.”
Bokuto scratched the back of his neck and went silent for a second. This was most unusual for him. Oh no. “Uh… about that…”
“Bokuto Kotaro, please tell me you didn’t lose my phone.”
“I lost your phone…”
;; Op-por-tu-ni-ty ; noun
Def. Something that will bring something better in the future. Something that Akaashi Keiji is looking at right now
Syn. Akaashi’s phone
His slightly annoyed expression washed off of him as quickly as it appeared, and he did his best to hold back a smile. “Bokuto-san, how did you lose my phone?”
“Well, I was just messing around with it and then I put it down somewhere. But you’re all out of time!! Tell you what, I’ll look around for it, and you can stop by after your business meeting and just stay the night here!! And I’ll pay for your train ticket! And then I’ll give you your phone!!” Bokuto rambled, hand still on the back of his neck, running up and down through the roots of his hair.
It had fallen right into Akaashi’s lap. He glanced over at his scarf on Bokuto’s table, and then back at Bokuto, who had averted his gaze from Akaashi’s eyes as soon as he started talking. He didn’t even have to say what he wanted. This was the great thing about Bokuto Kotaro, he didn’t know how to exactly shut up. He said everything Akaashi Keiji had wanted him to say, and he had absolutely no idea that he did. This was the ideal Akaashi situation, and he was basking in his glory.
“That works for me. But please be more careful with my things.”
“Okay!!! I will!!!” Bokuto’s mood sure had lifted. “Let’s walk to the train now!!! Don’t want you to be late!”
Shoulder-to-shoulder, they walked to the train, Akaashi’s scarf back wrapped around his neck and covering the bottom half of his face. It was supposed to be on Bokuto’s kitchen table, but fate had found itself presented in other places, and Akaashi no longer had to leave it there to retrieve it later. He thanked God for being on his side, and Bokuto for being just as irresponsible with his belongings as he was. Truly a blessing in disguise.
The train ride was special. The seat was perfect, the people weren’t loud. Everything just looked brighter.
The wondrous, sweet powers of opportunity at play. Akaashi felt his heart race as he thought about it.
And Now, An Excerpt From The Life Of Bokuto Kotaro.
“Yer kiddin’ me.” The blond-haired setter Miya Atsumu said, one arm resting against his gym locker as he looked slightly up at his teammate. “Bokkun, you can’t possibly think this is smart.”
“Well, I never said it was smart!!” He rationalized, hand scratching the back of his neck. “It just happened! I wasn’t even thinking! I just blurted it out like I was possessed!!”
“I think it’s sweet!!” Sunshine-personified Hinata Shoyo chimed in.
“‘Course you do! You think everything he does ‘s cool!” Atsumu retorted, a slight scowl on his face.
“Of course he does!! I’ve been his mentor since he was a tiny little crow!” Bokuto grinned.
“I think you’re cool too, Atsumu-san!”
“Shut it! No more flattery! How could you possibly think Bokkun’s little plan is sweet?!”
Hinata raised a finger to his chin, deep in thought. “Well, he’s just looking for a reason to spend time with Akaashi-san! There’s nothing bad about it!”
“Yer both nuts!” Atsumu whipped his head around to Sakusa Kiyoomi, who was trying his best to quietly sneak his way out of the locker room. “Omi, what d’ya think about all this?!”
“He didn’t even hear the plan!! He can’t judge it!” Bokuto replied.
“Alright, Omi-kun, sit down. Ya’ gotta hear what he’s about to say.”
“Do I have to…,” Sakusa complained, yet complied with Atsumu’s wishes.
“Alright, Bokkun. Say it from the start.”
Bokuto sighed. He didn’t necessarily think he did anything wrong, but he surely didn’t do anything right either. He knew his teammates, and he knew exactly how they would react. Which, to put it simply, was that he was being an idiot. Bokuto Kotaro was not stupid, he knew this, and that meant he knew he was acting like an idiot, but it was not a conscious decision. When placed in front of Akaashi Keiji, it was like a ghost took over his body and forced him into every impulsive decision regardless of how he felt about it. He acted like a lovesick fool before him. He couldn’t help it.
“Well… ‘Kaashi left his phone at my house and he came by to get it and we made breakfast together and he had to leave for his meeting but I really didn’t want him to go and I really wanted to see him again so I said I didn’t know where his phone was and that he should stop by and get it after his meeting.” Bokuto breathed. The words poured out of his mouth in a long, fast stream like air deflating from a balloon. “But that’s really it!! I swear!!”
Sakusa grimaced, eyebrows pinched together. “Bokuto-kun… what is wrong with you?”
“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYIN’!” Atsumu yelled, now sitting at the edge of his seat on the locker room bench. “BUT BOKKUN AND SHOYO-KUN DON’T AGREE!”
“I just think I would be touched if someone did that just to spend time with me!” Hinata argued.
“Yeah right so if Tobio-kun started stealin’ all yer stuff to get ya to come over you’d be okay with that?!”
“Why are we bringing stupid Kageyama into this?!”
Bokuto blinked as he watched his teammates argue over his own actions, Sakusa even chiming in every now and then just to give a snarky remark. For the first time, he couldn’t get a word in a conversation. He had never felt this quiet in his life. He listened as Hinata and Atsumu argued amongst themselves whether or not he and Kageyama were a good comparison to Bokuto and Akaashi, and (oddly enough) Sakusa sided with Atsumu. First time for everything, he supposed.
Suppose. Hey, he used that word with Akaashi earlier! The memory put a small grin on his face as he suddenly detached himself from the situation. Akaashi said it was a good word to use. Man, he missed him a lot. If nothing else, the practice was almost over, meaning it was almost time to pick up Akaashi from the train station! This time, he was sure he wouldn’t pull anything stupid like “forgetting” his phone somewhere, it would just be a normal hangout with no more stealing things to make him come back. He wondered how Akaashi’s meeting was going, it sounded real important–.
“Bokkun, are ya’ even listening?!”
Oh right. His teammates.
“He’s not even listening!!” Atsumu groaned. “Bokkun, ya’ gotta just get it over with. Rip the bandaid off.”
Bokuto tilted his head.
“Tell Akaashi-san you like him!!” Hinata cheered.
Bokuto could feel the color change in his cheeks from his usual tan to a strong beet-red. This was unlike him, and he knew it. He wasn’t the kind of guy to get all worked up about things like this. He was loud, confident, boisterous Bokuto. It was shocking to see him with his hand on his neck, tail tucked between his legs, but all he could feel were the looming consequences of his words if he did decide to confess, and they hung over his head like a dark cloud. He dare not look up for fear of the storm.
“I- I can’t just do that!!” He stammered out. He wasn’t well acquainted with the sudden rise in his heartbeat, with the clamminess of his palms. Akaashi Keiji sure was a different kind of monster for him, one that he wanted to face for the rest of his life, but still anxiety-inducing nonetheless.
“It’d be better than just taking all his stuff without telling him,” Sakusa added. He was unusually talkative, and Bokuto was half-convinced it was because of Atsumu’s piqued interest in the subject.
“And when are you all gonna follow your own advice?!” Red-cheeked Bokuto retorted, grabbing his stuff from his locker. “I’m going to pick up Akaashi!”
Storming out with a huff, Bokuto tried not to think too much about anything. Soon he would be hanging out with the boy he liked at his apartment, and he definitely wouldn’t do anything weird like he did last time. No, that was a one-and-done situation, and he was done with all of the silliness. It was time for serious Bokuto to step up to bat.
“What was that last part about…?” Atsumu grumbled, quietly crossing his arms, briefly whisking his arm against Sakusa’s, causing a small patch of pink to show up on his cheeks.
Hinata looked at the two for a few seconds before looking back at his locker. “No clue,” he lied to spare Atsumu’s embarrassment.
Ⅲ. T̶h̶e̶ ̶S̶c̶a̶r̶f̶ The Phone, Part two
Akaashi Keiji was exhausted. Work meetings were quite possibly the worst things in the world, a constant reminder of all the deadlines he had and all of the headaches they were sure to give him. He leaned back against the uncomfortable plastic train chair and rested his head against the window, staring out at the dim, fading light of the sun as it shined its last rays of the day upon the dark grass. He smiled a bit to himself watching the sunset, the remainder of brightness reminding him of his own unapologetically bright star of which he followed his own orbit around.
Perhaps that's what led him to the train station, the gravitational pull of Bokuto Kotaro, always pulling him closer and closer as time went by. Collision was imminent, like a pending explosion without a timer, always ready to set off. Akaashi braced himself for the impact.
;; Or-bit; noun
Def. The way Akaashi can’t seem to take his eyes off Bokuto whenever he’s around, or the way he relates everything he can to Bokuto, or the way he stays etched in his mind like the stars in the night sky.
Syn. The L-Word*
*Akaashi Keiji does not approve of this synonym.
But at least he was on the train, just minutes away from Bokuto, and the impact wouldn’t hit him yet. He still had time.
He hopped off the train with a small yawn and immediately locked eyes with his star, all cuddled up in a big blue sweater, a black scarf wrapped around his neck. As soon as he realized it was truly him, his face lit up into a big toothy smile, eyebrows raised and shoulders perked.
“Akaashi! Welcome back!” He joked, to which Akaashi chuckled a bit.
“Ah yes, it has been a while,” he replied, a playful eye-roll accompanying his sarcasm. He quickly moved his bag up from his hands to his shoulder. “Are you positive about me staying the night? I wouldn’t want to bother you. I still have work to get done, so I may be up late.”
“‘Course I don’t mind!! I invited you, didn’t I?!”
“You did…”
“And I already know all about your busy schedule!! Don’t sweat it, ‘Kaashi! You’re always welcome at my apartment! I could just give you a key to the apartment, haha!!” His face started to turn a bright shade of red, which was swiftly blocked by him tugging up his scarf. “Anyways! Let’s go! You can tell me all about your ride over!”
“Ah, well it was really nothing special, I just watched the sunset.”
Bokuto gasped. “I LOVE the sunset!!” Excitability was easily another one of Bokuto’s best features, and Akaashi quite enjoyed the way his entire face would beam as soon as one of his interests was mentioned. He also enjoyed doing this as often as possible so he could get this reaction out of him, although it wasn’t hard to do. “I was watching it before you got here!! The orange and yellow colors in the sky reminded me of your eyes!”
They both looked away from each other, faces red.
“Th…Thank you, Bokuto-san.”
“Yepnoproblem!!”
Bokuto was acting different. The entire walk home was plagued with vaguely over-the-top compliments, which Bokuto would immediately slightly backtrack on. He had never been like this before, his hands were a bit sweaty even though harsh winter winds were smacking them square in the face, and he wouldn’t look him in the eyes, something he had done an insane amount of before today. He was acting weird as if someone had planted something in his brain and now he was fighting with himself to pry it out. And was it just Akaashi or did Bokuto almost seem nervous? No, it couldn’t be. He was the most self-assured man in the world.
But it just didn’t stop. His face only got redder and redder, his scarf only got pushed up higher on his face, and his hands were nearly dripping sweat. Akaashi had never paid as much attention to anyone as he had Bokuto. He caught himself multiple times staring, waiting for a movement, borderline desperate to learn more, anything he hadn’t previously noted down before. And he had never– never– seen Bokuto nervous.
Wordlessly, standing outside Bokuto’s apartment as he pulled his keys out from his pockets, Akaashi lifted his hand and rested the back of it against Bokuto’s cheek, much to the surprise of Bokuto.
“Akaashi–?”
“Bokuto-san, you’re heating up. Are you feeling well?” Akaashi questioned, bringing his hand back down to his side. “We should go in and get you some water. You’ve been acting strange today, I really wouldn’t be surprised if you were sick.”
“Huh–?!” But Bokuto was already being pulled into his apartment, Akaashi Keiji’s hand wrapped gently around his arm. Sure, Bokuto could’ve stopped it, he was strong enough, but he didn’t. Akaashi didn’t have time to question that. He was already sitting Bokuto down on his couch and hurrying to the kitchen to get a cold compress.
“You shouldn’t over-exert yourself if you’re not feeling well,” lightly scolded Akaashi. He barely allowed himself a second to think, and maybe that was a good thing. “Take it easy tonight. I can make dinner.”
“Akaashi, you can cook?!” Bokuto surprisedly exclaimed, hardly paying any attention to the water droplets from the cold, wet compress on his head dripping down his face.
“...Well. I will order something,” Akaashi mumbled. “Now, do you remember where my phone is?”
“Mhm! Right on the counter! I put it down there yesterd– after I found it after practice!!” Bokuto’s face got even redder.
“Bokuto-san, your face is red. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”
;; Dumb; adjective
Def. Akaashi Keiji
Syn. Akaashi Keiji
“Huh? Yeah I’m fine!!”
“Then why are you acting so weird?” Akaashi questioned. He watched as Bokuto stayed silent, taking in his words, and his face getting pale.
“Oh… Well… It’s nothing! It’s nothing, really!” Bokuto reasoned. “I just had a weird day at practice! That’s all!!”
“Hm?” Akaashi sat next to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope!” Yelled Bokuto enthusiastically, so joyful and boisterous that Akaashi could’ve sworn he had heard a “yes” instead. Every now and then, Bokuto found new and weird ways to confuse Akaashi. This was one of those times.
Akaashi walked over to where his phone sat on the counter and placed his bag down, gently picking up his phone, quickly and quietly noticing the full battery percentage and the clean screen. “Alright, well then I’m going to order food if that’s okay. Think of anything you want in particular?”
“You…”
“Excuse me?”
“I MEAN FOOD!”
Refusing himself the time to process, Akaashi looked back down at his phone, scrolling through the takeout places on his map with a tint of red to his cheeks. Truthfully, it wasn’t completely unnatural for Bokuto to slip up on his words every now and then. His thoughts were rockets, each flying at over a hundred miles an hour, he often made mistakes with which ones were the right ones to say aloud. So he didn’t bother with the thoughts that slipped out, because he knew Bokuto didn’t really mean it. It was just a slip of the tongue.
“I’m serious. What kind of food do you want? If you don’t answer I’m just going to pick what you’re getting myself.”
“Mmm, c’mere, let me see what you’re lookin’ at.”
“...Alright, just please cover your mouth if you have to cough.”
“Akaashi!!! I’m not sick!!! I haven’t coughed or sneezed once!!!”
The remainder of the night was almost neverending, full of Akaashi caring for Bokuto despite Bokuto’s persisting stance on not being unwell. Akaashi didn’t mind it. He knew Bokuto Kotaro, and something was up with him. His face was consistently flushed, something he had never truly seen it before save for when he caught him staring across the gym during high school. And truly, he had never seen Bokuto sick. But it had been a while since high school, and their meetings together had been unintentionally spaced out because of their busy lives, so of course, things could change. If nothing else, he didn’t mind taking care of Bokuto as long as it meant sitting beside him, eating shitty food and laughing.
And he didn’t pay any mind to the little glances Bokuto would give him when he would laugh, he didn’t give any attention to Bokuto looking over at him with anticipation after one of his dumb jokes. He brushed off any little shoulder touches as Bokuto scooted closer to show him something (despite maybe not needing to). He dismissed anything that could be taken the wrong way because Bokuto was acting weird all day, and his face was a bit pink, and he was sweating a little bit. It was all insignificant to their conversations, their interactions, even his small slip-ups with his words simply gave Akaashi a chuckle. There was nothing more to any of it.
Despite Bokuto’s insistence on Akaashi taking the bed for the night, Akaashi refused, stating that if Bokuto were feeling bad he must take the bed (much to Bokuto’s disagreement). He was fine with the couch. Bokuto was a professional volleyball player, it wasn’t like his couch was a lump of shit. He tried to explain this to Bokuto about three times before he realized he just truly felt bad about Akaashi staying on the couch in general. But Akaashi didn’t mind. He made one more tea for Bokuto, telling him to drink up and feel better, and then sending him off to bed.
;; love?; noun
Def. No. Not yet. This is still just a crush. Right?
Syn. Probably Not Involving Akaashi Keiji
The soft taps of rain hitting the living room window accompanied Akaashi and his late-night thoughts, providing atmosphere as he lay awake. A feeling of dread had washed over him, keeping his eyes open and mind running (although he wished they would turn off). He searched the depths of his brain trying to find the cause for his emotions, but ultimately turned up empty, confused, and full of nerves. As he tossed and turned, he heard the familiar sound of footsteps approaching, and promptly sat up, looking towards the hallway just to see the owner of the apartment, a blanket wrapped around him. He looked cozy. It made Akaashi smile a little bit.
“Can’t sleep?” Whispered Bokuto, the quietest Akaashi had ever heard him, quite frankly. Akaashi didn’t have to reply, as Bokuto was already plopped down sitting next to him on the couch. “Me neither.”
“I suppose it’s just the rain keeping me up,” sighed Akaashi, looking over his shoulder at the window. “What about you? What has you awake at this time of night?”
Bokuto put his hands on his knees, looking up at the ceiling and leaning back. “Nothin’ I guess,” he whispered, “Just thinkin’ about things.”
“Things?”
“Just life and stuff. Y’know, volleyball is so much more of a business now than in high school. Sure you could transfer and stuff, but teams couldn’t just trade you away. I’m not nervous about it or anything, heck I’m too good for that. But it’s crazy to think some of my friends could just be gone the next day. It’s like the day I went to college. Konoha, Saru, Komi, Washio, they all went to different schools. You were back home. It’s a little lonely sometimes,” he spoke softly as if it were a secret with himself that he kept to himself, desperate to hide with a lock and key. But no secret was safe from the soft tranquility of the night and the relentless pitter-patter of the rain against the window. “I dunno. I was just thinkin’ about it all.”
Akaashi sat up a little more. “That sounds stressful. I’m sorry that’s keeping you up.”
“It’s alright, don’t worry–.”
“But I assure you, I am right here. I always have been,” Akaashi interrupted. “You will never be as alone as you think you could be. So don’t worry too much about that.”
Bokuto looked over at Akaashi wordlessly and his eyes lingered for just a second before he pulled his knees up to his chest and crossed his arms over them. “You promise?”
“I promise, Bokuto-san.”
“Hm,” Bokuto hummed in response, looking away from Akaashi and back up to the ceiling. “Maybe I should hire someone to paint the walls,” he muttered to himself.
“Why are you whispering? No one’s asleep if you’ve forgotten,” Akaashi teased, a small smile on his face as he gently elbowed Bokuto’s arm. It made Bokuto chuckle, and boy did Akaashi love hearing his excited laugh and seeing his stupid grin.
“I dunno! It just feels right for nighttime to be quieter! Maybe all the little bugs and stuff are asleep!” Bokuto shrugged his shoulders, earning a small chuckle in return from the former setter.
“All the little bugs?” Akaashi whispered through small giggles and wheezes.
“Yeah!! You know what I mean!! It’s like when your parents would say ‘Don’t wake the baby,’ even though there was no baby and really they just wanted you to be quiet!” Bokuto couldn’t help but crack himself up, and seeing Akaashi folded over laughing with his hand on his chest was certainly a boost to his ego.
“No, Bokuto-san, I don’t know,” Akaashi very faintly muttered, desperately trying to catch his breath. He wasn’t sure the last time he had laughed his hard, but he knew for sure one thing: it was not with anyone other than Bokuto Kotaro.
“What?! You mean your parents never told you not to wake the baby?!” Bokuto gasped. “I thought that was an everyone thing!”
“That was definitely not an ‘everyone’ thing!”
“Man!! I can’t believe this!” Bokuto huffed. “To think my parents were the only ones to lie to me about this! Then again you were probably the quietest kid ever, ‘Kaashi!”
Akaashi wiped his humor-induced tear-ridden eyes, both face and lungs sore from the sharp breaths of laughing, and turned to face Bokuto, a genuine smile covering his face. He took a deep breath and leaned his head against the back of the couch cushion, hair pushed up against his face. “I really missed you.”
And Bokuto smiled back, mimicking Akaashi’s little lean on the couch. He fiddled with his hands, slowly inching them closer to Akaashi’s but never touching them, toeing the line of friends and lovers like a tightrope walker without a safety net. “Yeah, I missed you too.”
;; love; noun
Def. The gentle laughs in the cold dead of night, desperately trying to stay quiet as if there would be trouble if found out, gentle, soft looks from across the couch, small “I miss you”s, the bright light and heat that the stars placed on Earth give out. Something Akaashi Keiji feels, something he has felt before, and something he will feel for the rest of his life.
Syn. Bokuto Kotaro*
*Love Is Bokuto Kotaro
Akaashi Keiji And The “L-Word” Ordeal
It had been a week and a half since Akaashi Keiji started leaving his belongings at Bokuto Kotaro’s apartment. It started with his wallet, then his phone (twice), then his bag, then his work badge (twice again)! He had been there six times in the past nine days doing arbitrary things just to spend time with him, and he was driving himself crazy. He hated not being able to talk about his feelings, not being able to reach out and hold Bokuto’s hand because he was tiptoeing around the problem at hand. He was filled with frustration, pacing around his lonely, cold, tiny apartment, hands over his eyes.
What does a crazy person do when they are stuck in a situation where they’re obviously being irrational? They call Konoha, of course. Why wouldn’t they pile all of their problems up on him?
“Konoha-san. I just don’t know about saying I’m in ‘love’ with him. How do you even know when you’re in love?”
“When you do stupid shit like this.” Konoha hoped his monotone voice tipped Akaashi off, but he just kept going. God, he hated when people expected stuff like this out of him. Sure he would do it, Akaashi was a good guy and a close friend, but Jesus he was so dumb. They both were.
;; A-ka-a-shi; noun
Def. Dumb idiot. Needs help*
Syn. Loser
*Akaashi Keiji does not approve of this definition.
“Listen, Akaashi. You keep making up reasons to go and visit this guy when you don’t have to. You’re being so unbelievably Akaashi, I think this is the most Akaashi you’ve ever been! Congratulations, you are so anxious about everything you’ve managed to outdo even yourself. Crazy how you manage to do that.”
“Ha-ha.” Konoha, despite not being able to physically see Akaashi, could sense his eye roll through the phone screen.
“I’m just breaking your balls. Listen, he’s going along with this so he obviously wants you to keep coming back. I’m just saying you’re both stupid. You know how you feel about him, I know how you feel about him, the only guy who doesn’t know how you feel about him is him. I know you don’t wanna say the L-word because you internalize everything, but trust me if you just tell him it’ll work out fine. Which is the same shit I’ve been telling you since high school,” Konoha added with a little hiss at the end, propping his feed up on the chair across from him at his dining table. “God, I sound like such a broken record. Look what you’ve done to me.”
Akaashi mumbled something just barely legible, but enough for Konoha to hear. A wide smirk appeared on his face.
“What was that? Can you repeat that again?”
“No.”
“Nah, don’t worry, I already heard you. I know I’m right, I’m always right, especially about things I’ve had over seven years to think about.”
Akaashi went silent, a sign Konoha took as being deep in thought. Could it finally be happening? Could Akaashi Keiji finally be listening to him? He thought he’d never see the day, that he’d be on his deathbed still listening to Akaashi blabber on about whether or not Bokuto could ever like him back. He breathed a breath of relief, lungs filling with fresh air for the first time in forever. Did it suddenly get lighter in here? The work of miracles showed themselves everywhere, he supposed.
“While you’re mulling it over, remember that everyone you’ve ever asked agrees with me. And also remember that I have money on you and I lose it if you don’t do anything by the end of this month. Thanks! Bye!”
The sweet sound of silence filled the air.
Ⅳ. The Train Keycard
Akaashi was restless. He was tired. At this point, all Akaashi wanted was to be in a real relationship with Bokuto, and he was so sick and tired of having to jump through hoops just to see him. Admittedly, it was his own fault. He made up this stupid plan and now he has to see it through.
But really, what was the end goal of it all? He walked and pondered for a minute, feed dragging against the carpet in the halls of the apartment. Had he never set up an end goal? Could Akaashi have been so lovesick, so stupid with yearning, that he didn’t even have anything waiting at the other side?
Short answer: Yes.
‘Well,’ he rebutted in his head, ‘The original plan was supposed to be for Bokuto’s attention, which was pretty successful.’ He didn’t mean to pat himself on the back, however the ego boost was necessary.
But simple attention wasn’t enough anymore. Akaashi yearned for something more than he already had, and it was so incredibly selfish (something he knew all too well) but he couldn’t help himself anymore. Any time he even so muched as glanced in Bokuto’s direction his face flushed and he had to look away. He feared his star shone too bright, and the light was blinding him. He wondered how he possibly could’ve put up with this in high school.
He sighed. How had he ended up here, standing outside Bokuto Kotaro’s door one late afternoon with his hand on his head, debating the idea of knocking over and over again in his head. He had never shown up unannounced. In fact, he was usually overprepared and overplanned for everything he possibly could. Knowing any possibly outcome to any possible situation and following the standard procedures was something that practically defined Akaashi, so he wasn’t sure to react when his feet led him to the train station and his heart led him to the foot of Bokuto’s door. All he could think to call them were traitors.
To knock or not to knock; that was the question. Truly, he didn’t even know if Bokuto was home in the first place. Maybe the possibility that he wasn’t was what allowed him to get this far in the first place. He danced around the inevitability of being in that apartment (although he brought himself there) and allowed himself to get cold feet, and now there he was, pacing around the halls of an apartment that didn’t belong to him.
‘Maybe I should just go home and spare myself the embarrassment. I could get away with only paying a few bucks for the train and not losing my dignity in the process,’ He thought to himself, digging in his pocket for the train key he had bough a couple days ago after he noticed the absurd amount of money he had been spending just to get back and forth. ‘It would be better just to leave, I can come back another time.’
He turned his shoes towards the exit and began to leave, when the familiar (and suddenly grating) sound of a door swinging open caught his attention, along with the energetic, clamorous sound of a certain owl-haired volleyball player.
“‘Kaashi?! Is that you?!”
Busted. He sighed and creaked out a small and embarrassing, “Hello, Bokuto-san.”
“How long have you been waiting?? I must’ve not heard ya knock!! Come on in!”
And much slower than when he turned to leave, he swiveled back around to face the wretched door once again, a small look of defeat and slight horror plaguing his face as he walked inside. Not that Bokuto seemed the mind, he seemed to be filled with joy that Akaashi was there in the first place. They were best friends, after all.
“Let me make you some tea! I was just about to go on my afternoon walk, it’s crazy that you were there right when I was about to leave! Good thing I caught ya!” Bokuto enthused, motioning Akaashi to sit on the couch then promptly walking over to the kitchen, placing a kettle on the burner. The high-pitched squeal from the kettle invaded Akaashi’s personal space, piercing his eardrums. He tried his best to maintain his composure despite the grating irritation.
“Yes. Crazy.” He felt like he was going to drive himself crazy if he stayed here long enough. He was itching for anything, any kind of opportunity to reach out, but the looming consequences were too dire, and he was sure he was going to mess it up somehow. He was at the final stroke of a painting, the most important one, and it had to go perfectly. He couldn’t rush a single moment, but he also wanted to delay it, to give himself more time to figure out what exactly to do. Oh god, he kept hearing that stupid kettle, another thing driving him crazy. He was thinking the word crazy too much.
“Okay, I’m gettin’ the teas ready. I know you like yours with a little extra sugar even if you won’t admit it!” Bokuto teased, but all Akaashi could hear was that Bokuto cared enough to pay attention, and also that goddamn tea kettle. The whistle of it only seemed to get louder with every passing moment, and Bokuto’s eyes on him seemed to burn through his skin. He felt himself burning up as he lost his patience, words bubbling up in his chest. Somehow, in a play from the heavens he could only describe as a miracle, he managed to push them down.
Konoha’s words echoed through the crevices of his brain, whispering to him, “It’ll work out fine, just tell him.” Or something like that, he wasn’t exactly listening. It was just another thing on the top of the pile, another annoyance that was driving Akaashi insane, another thing he couldn’t turn off. He glared into the side of the tea kettle, praying it would tip over and spill. He didn’t give a single shit about this tea. All he wanted was a moment to think with no tea kettles, no Bokuto compliments, no mind-Konoha’s. Just Akaashi and his overthinking brain. Perhaps that also went into the pile, though.
He felt the hole burning through his brain as he closed his eyes, focusing on nothing save for the calm, serenity of silence. He was a bomb without a ticker, no indication when he was going to implode, but he knew the storm was coming. He could calm it, sure, but that involved peace and quiet, something he couldn’t seem to find for himself. Even in the depths of his mind, his own voice called out to him, telling him all of the imperfections of the moment. The only voice he couldn’t escape was his own. How shocking.
“Man, this tea is taking a long time to heat up!! I hate this stupid kettle, I got it cheap at the store down the corner.” As Bokuto spoke, he felt the weight distribution of the couch shift to his left and heard the faint sound of fabric moving. Great. “You alright, ‘Kaashi? You seem stressed.”
“I’m fine.” His response was short, almost snappy, and he was sure he would apologize for it as soon as he calmed down. But right now, his tensions were high, and he couldn’t necessarily control all of his emotions (something that was usually his strong suit). Not only that, that stupid kettle’s shrill kept increasing in volume, almost mimicking the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Akaashi couldn’t drown it out.
And it wasn’t like he was mad at Bokuto for being annoying or anything. He was one of the only people who could truly tolerate Bokuto at the level he stayed at normally. It’s not that he didn’t think Bokuto’s upbeat energy and loud volumes weren’t annoying, he just didn’t find anything wrong with the annoyance. In fact, he quite enjoyed it. No, he was mad that in spite of Bokuto’s annoyance, all he wanted to do was turn around, grab his face, and kiss him until his face went numb. Akaashi was the problem, Bokuto was amplifying it by being Bokuto, by being love.
He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it.
“You sure? Your face is all red!” Bokuto lifted his hand and placed the back of his palm on Akaashi’s cheek.
Akaashi was going to flip out. As gently as he possibly could at the moment, he took hold of Bokuto’s hand and lowered it down from his cheek. “I’m fine, Bokuto-san.” He could feel his temperature rise as he struggled to keep his cool. If it hadn't already, he was positive the stress was going to give him a fever. It had only been a couple of minutes– probably two to three, judging by the oven clock– meaning soon Bokuto would go check on the tea and the sharp shriek of the kettle would be off. All Akaashi had to do was wait.
“Oh, I forgot!! I’m glad you’re here because I got ya something!!” Bokuto fished around his pockets for a few seconds before placing something thin and light on Akaashi’s lap, and as he opened his eyes, he saw the unmistakable teal of a train key. “I figured since you’ve been visiting so much I should probably not make you spend all your hard-earned money, ‘specially since you keep having to come back to get your things and I keep making you stay! But I don’t mind, I know how forgetful you can be!! Plus I just like spending time with you!!”
Akaashi was going to puke. He picked up the small train keycard in his hands, running over the edge with his fingers. He already had one, and he didn’t exactly tell Bokuto that he had one, because it would’ve been embarrassing to admit that he planned on stopping by even more. But Bokuto had gone out of his way to do something special for him, to show him that he liked him stopping by, and there he was, staring at him like a puppy awaiting a treat, desperate for Akaashi’s approval. He could practically hear his thoughts within his own, ‘Do you like it?’ ‘Please say you like it!’ ‘Man, I hope I did good!’ It was sickening how much he loved him. Not only that, the background noise of the kettle still hit his eardrums, Konoha was still lingering in his thoughts, and, by God, as if his conscience could keep quiet, but no, of course, it wouldn’t do him that favor. The room was spinning, everything was a million times louder than it needed to be, word vomit surged up through his lungs and out of his mouth, and it said:
“I already have one of these because I haven’t been losing my stuff here, I’ve been leaving everything deliberately so that I could spend more time with you…–!”
“Akaashi, if you wanna hang out with me you can just call me–!”
“–Because I’m in love with you, Bokuto-san!”
;; Ex-plo-sion; noun
Def. An eruption of compacted things caused by mass amounts of pressure.
Syn. Akaashi Keiji
The apartment fell silent. All of Akaashi's thoughts went quiet, with the small chuckle of mind-Konoha announcing his exit and the pure shock of Akaashi’s confession shutting up his conscience quickly. He had never, ever, done anything like that before in his life. He sat there, eyes closed, head facing the ground, the unmistakable rose-red color of blush tinting his face. He was sure he couldn’t even hear the kettle now, although he knew logically it was still there. Time stood still for that moment alone, and Akaashi Keiji had no freakin’ clue what to do besides brace himself for the impact.
“You’re in love with me…?” Whispered Bokuto like it was a secret, hidden from anything else but the two of them, like not even the walls of the apartment were enough to keep it safe.
“Yes…!” Akaashi said through gritted teeth. “And I apologize for not telling you sooner, and I apologize for making up excuses, and I apologize for wasting your time. I will leave if it makes you more comfortable. I am so sorry, Bokuto-san.”
There was momentary quiet, the kind that made Akaashi Keiji want to dig himself in a hole and never return, and then, “Pfft…”
Akaashi froze. “Hm?”
But his anxieties were interrupted by the boisterous, loud laughter of the owl-haired ace sitting beside him. And as Akaashi picked his head up and opened his eyes, he gazed upon Bokuto, head back, face a rosy pink, hands on his knees. His mouth was open wide, and all Akaashi could think to describe it was pure joy. He was bright, beaming even, a star inside and out, shining his bright light throughout the room with every bellow of every laugh. Akaashi straightened his posture in the presence, not enough to be uncomfortable, but no longer slouched over.
Bokuto wiped his eyes. “Man!! You really had me worried there for a second!! I thought you were gonna say you didn’t want it because you didn’t wanna visit me anymore!” He took a deep sigh. “Hey, wanna hear somethin’ funny?”
Akaashi tilted his head.
“I did the same thing!!”
What.
“Well, kinda! A little different! I just told you I didn’t know where your stuff was because I really wanted you to come back! All the guys at MSBY thought I was crazy!! Wait ‘til I tell ‘em you were even crazier!” He grinned. “But man, I’m just so happy you love me too!! It was driving me crazy not telling you!”
“That I… You… You what?” Akaashi choked on his own words, unable to find the best way to react. He was so overprepared for everything, and yet Bokuto Kotaro was the one thing he could truly never prepare for. He was an enigma, a foreign object that Akaashi yearned to know more about, now more than ever.
“I’m extremely enamored by you, Akaashi Keiji!” Bokuto beamed, eyes closed, and Akaashi could hear his thoughts in the back of his mind echoing, ‘Did you hear the way I said enamored?! So much bigger than the word love! That’s how much I love you!’
He melted into a soft smile. “You’re enamored by me?”
“Extremely!! Like almost impossibly!!” Bokuto repeated. Akaashi wanted him to say it over and over again, to play it in his mind like a record and never turn it off. The words were so sweet, so deliberate, so thoughtfully picked out that Akaashi thought Bokuto had known long ago how he felt, that this was a normal thing for Bokuto. That he’s had enough time to find the perfect words. ‘Perfect,’ Akaashi thought, ‘is the perfect word to describe Bokuto. Sweet, welcoming, warm, and perfect.’
“Say it again.” Akaashi leaned closer to him, placing a hand on his cheek, which Bokuto was quick to place his hand on top of.
He took a small breath in. “I’m enamored by you.”
“You mean it?”
“More than anything I’ve ever said before!” And it’s the way he says it, he almost makes it sound like it’s a promise, something that he’s going to keep so near to his heart and never let it go. Akaashi allows himself to get lost in the words.
“Anything else you have to say?” Akaashi slightly teases, brushing his thumb against Bokuto’s cheek gently. He could feel the temperature of Bokuto’s cheek rise with every movement.
“Yeah, actually!!”
“Oh? I’m listening.”
“I really wanna kiss you right now, ‘Kaashi. Can I kiss you?”
“Hm,” Akaashi fake-thought for a second, before coming to a (fake) sweet conclusion. “You may.”
Bokuto moved his free hand onto Akaashi’s cheek and pulled him in, their lips locking together as Bokuto scooted closer to Akaashi. Akaashi could feel Bokuto smiling gently into the kiss, something he was sure he couldn’t hold back, and it made Akaashi do the same. The two idiots sat there, both grinning and giggling as they kissed, like they were in high school again, being able to sneak around and enjoy each other’s company. It was romantic, a beautiful sensation that Akaashi had previously only dreamed of. He never wanted to break free.
And then the sharp whistle of the tea kettle re-entered itself into his eardrums, and he (begrudgingly) broke free from the kiss. “Bokuto-san…” He gestured to the kitchen.
“OH SHIT, THE TEA!!” Bokuto gasped and jumped off the couch. “AGH! I’m sorry ‘Kaashi!! I don’t think we’ll be able to have the tea…”
“That’s fine, I should be going soon anyway.” Akaashi really didn’t want to say it, no matter how true it was. He hopped on the train to Bokuto’s apartment running on nothing but impulse and desire, and now he was forced to go back to his work, back to his other life.
“Aww, but it just got good!!” Bokuto pouted, to which Akaashi chuckled. “When am I gonna see you again…?”
Akaashi looked down at the train key card in his hand and let it drop to the floor, watching it as it quietly hit the ground. “Oh, I can’t find my train keycard. Looks like I’ll have to come back to get it tomorrow. How does dinner sound?”
Bokuto’s eyes shifted from Akaashi, to the keycard, then back to Akaashi, a big, stupid grin covering his face. “I guess you’ll have too now…!!! I say dinner and then you can stay the night!!”
“Hmm. I think we can make that work.”
“YAY!!”
The train ride home was bittersweet in Akaashi’s eyes. He briefly glanced out the window, watching as the rain froze into a soft snow and pile up on top of the branches of trees. Even the heavy, near impenetrable confines of the train weren’t enough to keep out the chilly winter winds, but Akaashi let his scarf fall down, not paying it enough attention to pull it up over his nose. Instead, he stared down at the calendar on his phone, adding a new event entitled “Dinner with Boyfriend”. Then, with a small grin, he opened the message app, and sent the following:
Akaashi: Hello Konoha-san. Tell Komi-san and Sarukui-san they owe you money. Best regards, Akaashi and Bokuto.
;; A-ka-a-shi; noun
Def. A great friend to Konoha, and newly Bokuto Kotaro’s boyfriend!
Syn. Bokuto’s Boyfriend, That Guy Dating That One Pro Volleyball Player, Manga Editor With The Best Boyfriend In The World