Work Text:
When Leonard walked into their quarters, he found Jim sitting pensively with his hand on his fist in the armchair. “Oh jeez,” he said, “careful, you might fry your brain from thinking so hard. I can see the steam coming out of your ears.”
“Gee, thanks, Bones,” Jim said, but as soon as he said that, he sighed.
Leonard rolled his eyes. Welp, this is what they’re doing now. “What’re you thinking about?”
“Nicknames,” said Jim simply.
Leonard waited a second for him to elaborate, and when he didn’t, said “Go on.”
“Well, you know I have a nickname for you,” said Jim.
“Uh-huh.”
“Bones. Short for Sawbones. Great name,” he went on.
“That’s your opinion.”
“But Spock doesn’t have a nickname!” Jim finished, looking up at Leonard.
He shrugged. “Sure he does. Hobgoblin.”
“That’s yours though,” Jim sighed. “You call him that. I don’t.”
“I don’t see why you can’t also call him Hobgoblin.”
“It’d be weird. Hobgoblin,” he called, pretending to talk to Spock, “I love you, Hobgoblin.”
Leonard wrinkled his nose. “You’re right, that sounds super weird in your voice.” He sat down on the couch that was next to the armchair.
“Told you,” he said. Leonard rolled his eyes.
“It can’t be that hard to think of a nickname for him. I mean, I do it all the time. Green-blooded hobgoblin. Pointy-eared hobgoblin.”
“Those are just variations of Hobgoblin!” Jim groaned dramatically, as if Spock’s lack of Jim-bestowed nickname was the greatest problem of the century.
“I dunno, just add a -y sound at the end,” Leonard shrugged. “Spockie.”
“Bonesy?”
Leonard made a face. “Do not call me that.”
“What, you don’t like this beautiful name I’ve so lovingly constructed for you, Bonesy?”
“‘Bones’ is already a stupid nickname, I don’t need it to get worse!!”
“C’mon Bonesy!” Jim cackled.
“It sounds like either a serial killer or an erection!!” Leonard yelled, trying not to laugh because Jim’s laugh was infectious and he was utterly roaring with laughter at the moment.
“You have no appreciation for my art,” Jim wheezed, doubled up.
Leonard gave in, and they both giggled together for a bit.
“Spock still doesn’t have a nickname, though,” Jim said.
“I thought we just made one. Spockie?”
“That’s not gonna cut it.”
“Spockie, Pock, Spockle, Pockle, ooh, Pickle! Um, Spockadoodle, Spork, Sport, Spoodle, Spack, Spahk, Sock, um, Stock, Spocko, Spook, Spockinstien…” Leonard listed.
“Spockghetti?” Jim offered.
“That’s a good one.”
The were both startled by the doors sliding open to reveal Spock standing at the door.
“Greetings, gentlemen,” he said.
“Hey Spockghetti,” said Jim, testing it out.
Spock raised an eyebrow.
Jim turned to Leonard. “I don’t think it’s working.”
Leonard nodded. “Yeah, might want to stick to Spock.”