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How Not to Squabble with a (Technical) Newborn: A Guide by Arbiter General Yingxing

Summary:

AKA: Dan Heng and Yingxing having a beef even in another universe.

Yingxing has to deal with a lot of things - one of them being the Stellaron host (that Silver Wolf calls an "emo") named Dan Heng.

Notes:

Happy April Fools, everyone! I hope y'all have a blast at pranking people. Just don't take it at a personal level to the point of any levels of harm.

But as a gift, I'll give this to y'all since I feel funny this fine afternoon.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The Palace of Astrum have always worked in “okay” conditions under Kafka with the help of her protégé Silver Wolf, making sure that the Luofu stays afloat and well-informed. She certainly did not expect when outlanders came in the form of the Nameless - a faction that follows the Path of Trailblaze. Another thing that surprised her is the presence of a boy with a Stellaron sealed inside him - a boy named Dan Heng, who looks like your average Xianzhou male.

He was created artificially to hold a Cancer of All Worlds, containing it without forsaking the body's functions. How it was possible was beyond either Kafka and Silver Wolf could ever think of. The boy also looks like a Xianzhou male, given that it is possible that Xianzhou natives created him.

The Astral Express came with a deal - to seal the Stellaron that is accelerating the growth of the Ambrosial Arbor, yet they rejected it. That was not her final decision alone. It was also General Yingxing's decision to lead the Nameless on a wild goose chase to catch the Stellaron Hunters that are currently running amok in the Fleet. An irresistible preposition for the ever-helpful and ever-reliable Nameless, but Kafka immediately knew Yingxing was up to something.

However, another thing she did not expect? It is the fact that the whole time Yingxing’s holographic image was appearing in front of them to quell the tension between her and the Nameless, their oh-so-mature general was glaring daggers at the Stellaron Youth - who by the way, is akin to a baby by any system standards. It was uncharacteristic to see Yingxing act like a petulant child (even if he is older than her by centuries). He would go as far as to deliver jabs against the Stellaron Youth, who returns the insults with more personal ones.

“It wasn't like you to act like a petulant toddler, General.” Kafka commented, looking over at the holographic image of the General (who is probably too tired to go here personally), “Seriously? That boy has done nothing to you.”.

“I don't know, but he is kind of pissing me off.” Yingxing replied with a shrug.

“What do you mean he is pissing you off? Everything pisses you off.” Silver Wolf retorted with a groan. Kafka giggled, knowing whatever her protégé said might be right on personal levels. Everything Yingxing does, it is either out of anger or out of his sheer desire to finish things as fast as he could.

Two emos - who are about to tear each other apart if they stayed a mile radius from each other. Not that it is obvious because Yingxing’s hair is white and Dan Heng's clothes are white, but they are quite rebellious in their own terms. No wonder why Kafka would count the days until those two would square up.

 


 

“You're pissing me off.” Yingxing said, his glaring gaze boring holes through the Stellaron Youth, whose eyebrows are raised in sheer bewilderment. Yingxing does not know. However, everything about this brat pissed him off. If this was not a diplomatic meeting, he could have ran his sword through the boy.

“From the looks of it, you always are.” The Stellaron host - Dan Heng, Yingxing remembers - retorted before crossing his arms, “You don't look like the type to perform diplomacy with your guests.”. Yingxing felt his vein almost burst out from the black-haired boy’s clapback.

“As if a baby like you could understand how diplomacy works.” Yingxing growled, almost summoning his sword if it weren't for the fact he is still a hologram, “Honestly, fuck you, kid.”. He could already hear Silver Wolf and Kafka stifle their laughter, covering their mouths to prevent him from hearing them.

Fuck me? Says the emo.” Dan Heng retorted, cracking his knuckles already, “Ever did anything other than being an emo?”.

“And what about the baby who is already going through his rebellious phase?” Yingxing sneered, looking at the much shorter boy. This was irresistible if not tiring to deal with. Wasn't this boy the newest crewmember of the Astral Express? Isn't he always like this? 

At that moment, a growl formed in the Stellaron boy’s throat, thrumming with rage and rebelliousness. “Why you-” He was suddenly cut off when one of his fellow Nameless cleared his throat.

"Dan Heng.” The brown-haired middle-aged man - Welt Yang, Yingxing remembers - said in a scolding tone. That managed to silence Dan Heng, who just looked down with his hands holding together in an attempt to control his emotions. The tension between them is undeniable for some reasons.

One thing is clear: they are not going to get along throughout this mission and whatever he proposes to the Express.

 



“That wasn't like you to pick fights, Dan Heng.” March 7th said, sitting on the floor of Dan Heng's rented room while hugging her Pom-Pom plushie, “Do you remember General Yingxing doing bad things to you before you lost your memories?”.

Dan Heng does not think so. Even if that is what happened, there could have been a reason for him to not get along with General Yingxing even if the latter gave them a VIP room in the Petrichor Inn, gave them privileges in the Luofu and access to any information that may be needed to catch the Stellaron Hunters. He just feels like the two of them can not get along. However, it is not at a level that may disrupt their professionalism (that is if Dan Heng was ever professional).

“I don't think he did so, March.” He answered the pink-haired girl’s question, shaking his head, “I just think that in every universe, we are bound to not get along at some point in our lives.”. 

One unspeakable reason was when the general was staring at him as if he sprouted a second head with an additional urge to cut it off as the cherry on top - not that Dan Heng ever wants a second head. He knows that whatever he said may not be much of an excuse. However, it just feels like the general would glare at anyone he sees - may it be locals or outworlders.

“That's a load of bull. I mean… The General has been nothing but generous to us even if it looks like he wants to kill us.” March 7th said, patting the dirt off her plushie, “It's not like he is going to kill you - not that you could die again.”. What does she mean by that? He got killed by Cocolia once!

“I don't know…” Dan Heng’s voice trailed off, “But if he wasn't a hologram that whole time, I swear he was gonna run me through with a sword or something.”. It was a nagging feeling, to say the least. It was not far from impossible either.

“Like stab your chest again?” March raised a brow, giggling at his words, “I don't think you can get stabbed in the chest twice in two consecutive worlds.”. Easy for her to say. She has not even gotten stabbed yet… Dan Heng never heard of stories from Caelus that she got stabbed by someone.

“It could happen to me.” Dan Heng rolled his eyes, “I mean… I can be an exception to the rule.”.

“You're ridiculous.” March giggled before throwing her plush toy at him. Luckily, Dan Heng caught the soft toy before throwing it back at its owner. The pink-haired girl laughed as she caught her plushie, hugging it once she held it in her embrace. 

He smirked, knowing what to say next…

“Ridiculous as crashing a snowmobile through the Taikiyan Stadium?” He said with a blank face, but a smug tone that betrayed his expression.

March blushed, now red as a tomato, “What the-?! I told you not to mention it again! Sometimes, I hate Caelus for mentioning it to you!”. Dan Heng knows she does not mean it. However, he heard it is sometimes customary between friends to tell each other about their embarassing stories.

Notes:

Yingxing: *exists*

Dan Heng: I'm about to beat this bitch up.