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Why did I agree with Arthur that I am in love with Lancelot? Merlin thinks to himself after finally getting space from the impromptu confession, well fake confession. He has yet to decide which would have been far worse, just admitting to Arthur that it was he who Merlin was in love with or to make Arthur think he was pinning after one of his best friends. Either way it was not good.
“I believe I know how to fix it.” Gaius said which brought Merlin back to what was actually going on around him. “But it of course would require magic.” Which is illegal Merlin's mind helpfully supplied. And yeah, people are going to notice if he was suddenly better from the curse the Morgana casted.
“Well then, what are you waiting around here for?” Arthur's voice sounded off the walls of the room in the castle making Merlin seem to jump. Apparently he went out to call the whole cavalry to come here right now for some reason.
Merlin's heart was beating so fast in his chest at Arthur being there that he didn't have time to process the words until Gaius spoke again. “I was just explaining it to him.” Did I die? Merlin kinda wants to ask but since he already did and was given many stares of serious judgment he chose not to. Maybe he did not die and was just transported into this random place where everything is so different Merlin does not even know what to think.
“Enough of that then lets get on with it.” It was Gwaine who spoke up, for the first time in a while—or even if Merlin's theory that he was in some other universe turns out to be true. The first time it would be then—that Gwaine was genuinely excited and just not looking like he was dreading his entire life but still putting on an act to save face.
Then everything went black.
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When Merlin woke again he was in the same room but not in pain. It was a relief unlike any other he has ever had. It caught Merlin so off guard in fact that he was not sure how he was even having a cohort thought when he had woken up earlier. Then again his thoughts were going into a strange place that he does not want to think about. Merlin groaned because he again remembered that he told Arthur the thing/person that was the root of this curse—minus Morgana casting said curse—was the fact that he was alleggy in love with Lancelot.
Honestly, Merlin kinda wishes that the curse just killed him. Then he would not need to deal with the consequences of his pain rolled high on pain relief potion mind decided to do to him in this instance. Good job Merlin you just told the person who you are ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH that you are not in fact in love with them but with one of your best friends.
In the back of his mind Merlin acknowledges the fact that the lie is still in a way very conveniently good in this situation. As in, it makes sense why it would hurt Merlin so badly because Lancelot was obviously absolutely in love with Gwen who—thought she would rather die than admit it at the current moment—is also absolutely in love with Lancelot.
He was already in this very weird shape of Merlin loves Arthur, Arthur loves Gwen, and Gwen loves Lancealot, who loves her back. Now it has become something either where apparently Merlin loves—allegedly—Lancealot who is in love with Gwen who loves Aruthur and Lancelot, Arthur loves Gwen and Merlin truly loves Aruthr.
“Merlin, you are all right!” One of the weird mixes of angles was Lancealot. He came over helping Merlin sit up.“How are you feeling?”
“I hate you. And myself.”