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Buck’s heart was hammering away in his chest when he followed Tommy into the (almost ridiculously large) shower cabin. With the water already turned on, he felt goosebumps rise all over his skin. Tommy closed the cabin when Buck was inside and turned to him.
Buck felt himself blush, but there was a soft smile on his lips. Here they were, both not wearing anything but the water drops on their skin, looking at each other. A shiver ran down his spine at the expression on Tommy’s handsome face - it made his pulse quicken some more, and it had been quite fast already ever since they had just had sex on Tommy’s couch a few minutes ago.
Tommy’s gaze wandered from Buck’s eyes to his lips. To his neck. To his chest. All the way down his body, slowly. It was like the other man was caressing him with his gaze and Buck felt goosebumps rise on his arms and shoulders.
“I know I’m repeating myself,” Tommy then said, looking back up at Buck’s eyes, and there was a gentle smile on his lips. “But you’re fucking gorgeous, Evan. Breathtakingly so.”
Again, Buck felt his cheeks and his ears heat up and he couldn’t hold back the happy smile that appeared on his lips. He didn’t want to hold it back. Why should he when Tommy looked at him like that and sounded so incredibly sincere? Never before had anyone looked at Buck like this, and it was exciting and touching at the same time.
“You’re not so bad yourself, you know,” Buck answered and now it was his turn to take in the naked man in front of him. The way the water pearled down Tommy’s ridiculously broad shoulders and chest, finding its way over his abs just to get lost in his dark pubic hair was really fascinating to watch.
Buck stepped closer and touched Tommy’s muscular stomach, smiling at his lover. Boyfriend? Buck wasn’t too sure. They had been on three dates and now, they were physically much closer as well, but Buck wasn’t sure what to call all of this. But maybe, he didn’t need to yet. All that mattered was that they enjoyed each other’s company, right?
Tommy’s slightly rough fingertips brushed over Buck’s sides and down to his hips. Buck felt goosebumps appear on his skin and he leaned into the other man’s touch a little more. Tommy was so strong and tall and yet, he touched Buck with such care and gentleness, it made Buck’s heart flutter in his chest every time.
They smiled at each other and a few seconds later, their lips touched again. It was like they just couldn’t stay away from each other for too long. Buck placed his hands on Tommy’s chest and closed his eyes, melting against the other man during their soft kiss. A smile appeared on his lips when he felt Tommy’s strong arms wrap around his middle, gently holding him.
They kissed for what felt like a long time and Buck completely forgot everything else. It was so nice to just let himself be swept away by the gentle brush of Tommy’s lips and the feeling of Tommy’s hands on his skin.
After quite a while, they had to stop kissing to breathe and Tommy brushed his hand over Buck’s stomach again. “Mind if I wash you?” he then asked. Despite standing under the spray of water - well, it was more raining down on them since Tommy had a really fancy rainfall shower - there still was some cum on Buck’s stomach and chest. “Not at all. Knock yourself out,” Buck answered, winking at Tommy playfully.
And Tommy didn’t waste any time - he grabbed a bottle of shower gel, poured some of it onto his hands and soon started to really gently wash the cum and sweat off Buck’s skin. This was obviously Tommy’s own, personal shower gel - well, whose else would it be? Buck sometimes was really confused by his own, weird thoughts - because he knew this scent. Tommy smelled of a mixture of this shower gel, his cologne and his very own, distinctive scent and Buck definitely liked it.
“What’s the scent of the shower gel?” Buck asked after a few moments of just enjoying being taken care of so gently. “It’s lemongrass,” Tommy told him and Buck made an understanding “Ah” sound. “I like it,” he then added and Tommy sent him a beautiful smile - his trademark smile that showed his gorgeous dimples and made his eyes all crinkly. Fuck, he was gorgeous. “I like that you’ll smell like me,” Tommy then said and winked at Buck who grinned. “Me too.”
Tommy even took care of washing Buck’s hair. It was adorable how much he seemed to enjoy washing Buck and of course, Buck returned the favor when the other man was done with taking care of him. If Buck took much longer than necessary to wash Tommy’s body, touch every inch he could reach, then nobody had to know. Tommy definitely didn’t seem to mind since that beautiful bright smile never faded from his lips.
Wrapping a fluffy white towel around Buck’s shoulders after their shower, Tommy kissed the tip of Buck’s nose. “Are you staying the night?” he then asked and Buck immediately nodded. “I’d love to,” he said happily and Tommy smiled even wider. They both quickly dried themselves off and when Buck had brushed a towel over his wet hair, he saw Tommy moving closer out of the corner of his eye. The other man had stepped closer and raised his right hand, gently touching Buck’s hair. “Wow, it’s so curly,” he commented and Buck snorted. “Yeah. Barely tamable after showering,” he said and his eyelids fluttered a little when Tommy brushed his fingers through his wet, wild locks. “Gorgeous,” Tommy said softly and Buck felt himself blush. He leaned in to press a quick kiss to Tommy’s shoulder.
A few minutes later, they were lying in Tommy’s bed, both on their sides so they could look at each other. Buck enjoyed the view - Tommy had switched off the ceiling light and turned on the night light on the nightstand. It was a small lamp and that lamp’s light cast gorgeous, hard shadows on Tommy’s handsome face and his naked upper body. Those made him look even sharper, manlier, and Buck was so incredibly attracted to him. It was almost unbelievable to him that he hadn’t even been aware of the fact that he liked men before he had met Tommy. Speaking of which…
“When did you realize you were attracted to men?” Buck asked Tommy, his right arm bent so he could rest his head on his hand. Tommy mirrored his position, eyes never leaving Buck’s.
“That was a few months after I left the 118 to join the 127,” Tommy started to tell. “I have felt attracted to men before, but I always ignored it. Denied it. I grew up in an environment where men like me weren’t possibly anything else but straight.” Buck wondered about that. “Your parents?” he asked and Tommy nodded. “Yeah. Very conservative. My dad played football with me, showed me how to use an axe to cut up firewood while my mother taught my younger sister how to cook and bake. It was ridiculously heteronormative,” the pilot then kept on speaking. “In High School and College, I was the stereotypical jock. Captain of the football team, sports scholarship, a new girl on my arm every two months, you get the gist.” Tommy shrugged a little. “I felt like the king of the world when in reality, I was a superficial asshole. I even chose to become a firefighter just because everybody told me it was such a manly job and that women loved firefighters.” He laughed at the memory.
Buck was a little baffled. “You? An asshole? That is hard to imagine,” he said and Tommy shook his head slightly. “No, I really was. Ask Howie, he met the old me back then when he started at the 118. When he walked in on his very first day, the first thing I did was to ask one of the others if he forgot to tip the delivery guy.”
That made Buck grimace and Tommy nodded. “Yeah. I was that kind of guy. Spending years under Captain Gerrard’s command wasn’t helping with the bigotry, to be honest.” It was really fascinating for Buck to learn more about Tommy, to get to know more about his life and who he had been. “What made you change?” Tommy smiled again. “The fact that Howie risked his own life to save mine even though I treated him like shit. That was a really humbling experience. Hen helped too. With changing my mind about things, I mean. Howie, Hen, Captain Nash and several other people helped me grow up and become the man I am today.” Hearing that, it made Buck smile proudly. “The 118 has that effect on people, especially Bobby,” he said. And again, Tommy nodded. “Yes. They definitely do. All of this also helped me realize that I had chosen the right job, just for the wrong reasons.” Buck nodded again. He definitely knew how that felt. And he was definitely happy for Tommy because obviously, he was an amazing man and had learned from past mistakes.
“So, and what made you realize you weren’t straight?” Buck asked again. “As I said, it was a few months after I joined the 127. I just had broken up with my girlfriend two weeks prior - one of the shortest relationships of my life, I don’t really know anymore why I even had been with that girl, she definitely deserved better - and, frankly, I was looking for someone to have sex with.” That was also something Buck could relate to. Buck 1.0 had been out looking for hookups so often too. “So I went to a club. I did that quite often, just went out, bought some cute girl a drink and took her home for the night. Rinse, repeat,” Tommy continued. “And then, there was this guy who just, out of the blue, started dancing with me. He was gorgeous. Tall, fit. Looked a lot like Idris Elba.” He chuckled, shaking his head with a fond expression on his face. “And well, I was quite tipsy already and just thought Fuck it . We danced, drank some more, and then went back to his place and had sex. And it was good, but it was only a one-time thing. Still, it showed me that yes, I liked men and yes, I liked sex with men and maybe, I liked men a lot more than women. Well, and soon I knew that I was, in fact, gay.”
Buck watched Tommy, not sure what to say. And it seemed that Tommy noticed something in his eyes. “You okay? It’s like I can see the gears in your head turning, Evan.” It was amazing how perceptive Tommy was, Buck thought. Quietly, he cleared his throat. “Well, uhm - yeah, yeah I’m good, I just…” He shrugged a little. “So you like men like Idris Elba?”
For a second, Tommy blinked at Buck and then, he chuckled. “That’s what you took away from this story?” he asked, fondly amused. Buck felt super insecure all of a sudden and again, he shrugged, averting his eyes. “I mean… I’m not an Idris Elba. He’s super hot and talented and confident and, well…” he mumbled, feeling embarrassed by his outburst. He didn’t even know where he had been going with all of this. Fuck, stammering about like a jealous teenager wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t sexy at all. He should have just kept his mouth shut! Surely, Tommy wouldn’t like him like that - all insecure. Jealous. Needy. Buck had a really bad flashback to something Taylor had told him once. He was too fucking needy, too fucking clingy and that was annoying .
A sudden touch pulled him out of his own mind and Buck blinked at Tommy. The other man was much closer all of a sudden, his right hand on Buck’s cheek, and he looked really worried. “Hey, please don’t get lost in that pretty head of yours,” Tommy said softly, his blue eyes searching for something in Buck’s eyes, the small crease of worry between his eyebrows. Thickly, Buck swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he said, sounding breathless, and the embarrassment was flooding his chest, his stomach, his whole body. Quickly, he tried to find something else but Tommy’s eyes to stare at, but he was shifting nervously, not sure what to do.
When Tommy shuffled even closer and leaned their foreheads together, Buck dared to look back at him. “It’s okay,” he said and he spoke so quietly that it was almost a whisper. “Just breathe, okay? You’re okay, everything is fine.” The lump in his throat feeling a bit lighter, Buck nodded ever so slightly and then, took a deep breath. “Yes, just like that,” Tommy reassured him. “Keep breathing.”
It took a few more moments until Buck had calmed down again. Still, he felt really bad about what had just happened. “I’m so sorry. We had such a nice evening and I ruined it,” he then said. Tommy gently caressed Buck’s cheek and moved his hand down to his neck. “You didn’t ruin anything,” was the other man’s answer. “You just jumped to conclusions too quickly.” He smiled and wrapped his arm around Buck’s waist. “Evan, you’re gorgeous. And talented. And maybe you need to work on your confidence, but that’s not a bad thing. We all do. But the best thing about you is that you’re real . You’re not just a pretty face in a movie or a hookup in a club. You’re the guy who runs into burning buildings to save people. The one who co-parents his best friend’s son as if he was his own. The guy that says Let them fire us, who cares , risking his livelihood to save the people he loves without even batting an eyelash.”
Tommy’s expression was impossibly soft. “That’s the kind of man I like, Evan.”
Buck only noticed that there were tears shimmering in his eyes when he chuckled and that chuckle came out quite wetly. “Fuck, Tommy. What did I do to deserve a guy like you?” he asked, still embarrassed but also incredibly touched. Tommy grinned. “I think I just told you,” he answered, and again, Buck laughed, shaking his head a little in disbelief.
What a man.
Tommy really gently brushed a tear off Buck’s eyelashes and then leaned in for the softest of kisses. “I like you, Evan. And I already told you, I’m not going anywhere.”
For a few seconds, Buck just stared at him. His heart was in his throat and his hands felt clammy while his mouth was too dry. And he needed to say it or his heart would just spontaneously combust, right then and there. Because, after Tommy had shown him again that he was safe with him and that he cared about him a lot, Buck suddenly was sure about what he wanted. “I want you to be my boyfriend, Tommy.”
And right then and there, his sentence brought the most beautiful smile Buck had ever seen on Tommy’s face. His eyes were shining with happiness and he hugged Buck closer, his large hand a warm, solid anchor on Buck’s back. “Yes,” he just said and Buck laughed, relieved, happy, content. “Yes?” he asked and now they were both laughing happily. Tommy nodded again. “Yes, Evan!”
Buck wrapped both of his arms around Tommy’s chest and pressed his cheek against it. Inside of this chest, there was a heart that was beating really fast, just like his own. Buck felt Tommy’s arms wrap tighter around him as well, holding him, grounding him even more, and he sighed quietly. He couldn’t stop smiling.
Tommy was his boyfriend.