Work Text:
I’m turning 18 today
but I just want to die
I lock myself in the bathroom
and I cry and cry and cry
I thought I was doing better
Finally 4 days clean
but now I'm not anymore
all because I turned 18
I just took paracetamol
hoping to wake up in heaven
I stole some out of the cabinet
and secretly took seven
Already wrote my goodbye notes
saying my farewell
trying to go to a better place
but it’ll probably just be hell
I always had a vision
never thought I'd make it here
always wanted to end at 16
hoping to disappear
But now I’m an adult
and I don’t have any plans
because this wasn’t supposed to happen
I don’t want this extra chance
I want to be done
this has been more than enough
I don’t even want one more day
life is just too tough
A birthday is a beautiful day to end it
At least that’s what I believe
not giving two days of sadness
but only one day to grieve
not a birthday and an anniversary
just one awful day
I know it’s still selfish
but this is the best way
I just took the lethal dose
shaking and looking pale
it’ll probably take some time
before my liver starts to fail
I’m still holding back
wanting to take even more
so I know I won't wake up
and I don’t have to live anymore
the pills are in my hands
nothing is stopping me
I want to be sure I'll succeed
so maybe I'll just take three
but I can’t hurt my loved ones
I can't cause them pain
they deserve so much better
I can’t even begin to explain
so I'll just stick to those seven
waiting to see if I'll survive
going to sleep at noon
and praying I won't be alive
Thanks everyone for helping
I know you really tried
and know it’s not your fault
when you get the message that I died
~ 14.04.2024