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Shen Qingqiu always thought that he'd be willing to do anything if it meant he was able to live. Now... he wasn't so sure. If he didn't push Luo Binghe into the abyss when the time came, he'd die. If he did push him into the abyss, the white lotus he knew would disappear forever and would hate him irrevocably.
He sighed. Luo Binghe was like his child. Shen Qingqiu watched him grow from a feeble adolescent all the way into a domineering demon that ruled over all of the three worlds. While the novel was shitty, he really wished Luo Binghe a good life. Now that he had raised him firsthand, it hurt him even more thinking that he had to hurt him.
"Shizun, what's wrong?" the small boy next to him asked, shaking him out of it and dispelling his thoughts. The elegant man rapped his fan on the youth's head lightly.
"Shouldn't you be at your lessons? What are you doing back here?" Shen Qingqiu questioned.
He tilted his head slightly and told him, "This one's lessons are over already. Did shizun not realize it's the end of the day?" As he said this he placed a tray of hot tea on the table before him.
"Your shizun was just lost in thought. Nothing that Binghe needs to worry about," he replied without missing a beat. After the boy poured the tea Shen Qingqiu carefully picked it up and took a sip. Of course he needn't worry right now. The Immortal Alliance Conference was years away. He had plenty of time.
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So maybe he forgot about the Immortal Alliance Conference.... The event was now only a week away and he still didn't know whether or not he'd choose his own life over his disciple's. He looked over to the young man. He had grown considerably. He was no longer a weak little boy and was now an upstanding young man.
"Binghe... Would you sacrifice your life if it meant saving someone dear to you?" he asked him.
Without hesitation Luo Binghe replied, "Of course, shizun! I'd do anything to keep shizun safe!" Once again, Shen Qingqiu rapped his fan on the boy's head.
"So am I to assume that you think this master is so weak that he needs his disciple to protect him?" Shen Qingqiu joked. Luo Binghe stuttered trying to correct himself. Even though his face was as placid as ever, he was laughing inside. Of course, he knew the answer now. He knew what he had to do.
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"Shizun, I'm sorry I never told you! This disciple never meant to deceive shizun!" Luo Binghe yelled over the roaring flames of the abyss. Shen Qingqiu was pointing his sword at his disciple. The system was currently counting down loudly. The beeps of the timer scratched against his ears like nails on a chalkboard.
"Shizun said that demons could also be good or bad! Was shizun lying when he told me this?" The man refused to answer as he walked closer to his disciple, forcing him to back closer to the large crack in the ground in order to avoid being speared by his sword.
"This shizun of yours has one last question for Binghe," he paused. "Would you still be willing to do anything to protect this shizun of yours? Even if I were to push you off of this edge?"
"Whatever it takes for shizun to not abandon and hate me!" he replied without a pause. For the first and last time, his shizun smiled at him. Shen Qingqiu stabbed his sword into the ground right as the timer hit zero. Right before his eyes, his shizun dropped to his knees and coughed up blood.
"Shizun!?" he screamed. Binghe rushed over to him and held his shizun in his arms to stop the man from collapsing on the ground. "What's wrong!?" he yelled. Tears and snot streamed down his face. Shen Qingqiu lifted his trembling hand and caressed the side of Binghe's face.
"You will grow up to be a strong and fine gentleman, Luo Binghe. This master is a little sad that he'll never be able to see that day," he said hoarsely. Binghe's tears fell on the older man's face as he sobbed uncontrollably. He didn't understand why his shizun was acting like this. He never would understand.
Shen Qingiu's hand fell back down to his side and his breathing slowed until it came to a complete stop.
"Shizun!!!!" Luo Binghe screamed over and over till his throat hurt and his voice was barely audible. He hugged his shizun's cold and limp body closer to his own. Without him realizing, a couple of other cultivators came over after hearing his screams. Two of those cultivators were Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge.
The two quickly ran over to see what happened.
"Shen-shidi!" Yue Qingyuan yelled as he rushed over. The site they were met with was horrible. Shen Qinqiu's flaccid body, which had blood and dirt on it, was currently being held by a trembling and distraught looking Luo Binghe. Yue Qingyuan tried to grab the man's body to inspect it but the disciple hugged him tighter and shifted away as if he were a wild animal protecting its mate.
"Let us see him," Liu Qingge commanded. Before he could step forward the other man placed his hand in front of him to stop him.
"Zhangmen-shixiong what are you-"
"Let him be, Liu-shidi. It's clear he is upset. We all know how close they were," he told him as he himself tried his best not to rush forward. It was someone he held dear to him that just died after all. Binghe continued to mumble incoherent things under his breath. His cracked lips were pressed against his shizun's head. Binghe's fingers were tangled in his teacher's hair.
Everyone watched on in silence. Even Ming Fan knew not to say anything as he silently comforted the crying Ning Yinying. No one knew exactly how long it was before they convinced the boy to get up, but even after he did he didn't let go of Shen Qingqiu.
The entire carriage ride back he didn't let anyone touch him, not even Mu Qingfang. He carefully carried his shizun up the mountain along with his sword. All of his fellow disciples, including the ones from other peaks, and the peak lords followed in procession behind him up the mountain. It seemed as if even the world itself was mourning him. The birds were silent and the sun hid behind the clouds.
Once he made it to the top, Binghe continued towards the bamboo house. Everyone else knew not to come in after him and silently dispersed. Aside from the peak lords, everyone else left out of respect. They spoke in hushed whispers.
"What are we to do now? The poor boy won't even let us examine him,"
"We need to find a replacement quick or else those pesky demons might come back if they know we're missing a peak lord..."
"Zhangmen-shixiong, what do you advise? Going by the rules, his head disciple should take his place," At this statement, everyone turned to look at him. Yue Qingyuan seemed to have not been paying attention to the discussion that was happening before him. They all quickly quieted down and decided to not speak on the matter anymore as of right now.
The next day there was still no sign of Luo Binghe leaving the bamboo house. Reluctantly, Mu Qingfang knocked on the door but he received no response.
"Might this one come in?" He called out. No response. "His body needs to be examined so we can find out what caused his death." Still, there was no response. He sighed and left. There was no helping it. Everyone knew how close they were. Of course he'd act like this.
Inside of the bamboo house Luo Binghe had laid his shizun down on his bed. The disciple took his teacher's shoes off and cleaned his sword before laying it down next to him.
"Shizun, please wake up..." he pleaded softly. "This disciple misses you... shizun..." He carded his fingers through his shizun's messy hair and wiped the dirt and dried blood off of him.
For the next week, Luo Binghe didn't leave the bamboo house and hardly ate or drank anything. Only after intense persuasion from Ning Yinying and Mu Qingfang did he finally let his shizun be examined. They never really found out what killed him but every single meridian in his body was closed off and fried. After 3 months, the disciple finally let them take Shen Qingiu's body to the resting place of all the past peak lords. Qing Jing Peak was never really the same after that until the next generation came and brought back the feeling of carefreeness.
Yue Qingyuan went into closed door seclusion inside of the Lingxi Caves after Binghe finally took his shizun's place 4 months after his death. He didn't come out until a year later. And when it was finally revealed that Luo Binghe was part heavenly-demon his peers were, of course, in an outrage, but he made sure to pledge his unwavering loyalty before them all. And of course, Luo Binghe made sure to mourn his shizun till the day he died.
Others may have seen him as purely a filial disciple but only he knew that his feelings ran deeper than that. Most days he wondered what life would've been like if his shizun were still alive. Perhaps he would have reciprocated his feelings, perhaps he wouldn't have. Who knows? Other days, he was tormented with guilt. Flashes of his shizun covered in blood would go through his mind. He would constantly tell him that it was his fault.
Maybe in another universe his shizun was still alive. It didn't matter whether he was a kind or mean shizun, as long as he was still alive Luo Binghe would chase him to the ends of the earth. But in this universe, his shizun went over the edge of the earth before he could catch him.