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I Don't Know What I Am

Summary:

Naga tells Balance he doesn't want to be a boy anymore, but doesn't exactly know what he wants to be instead

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"Balance, can I talk to you?"

It wasn't that strange for Naga to ask to talk to Balance alone. Often he just had a question he didn't want anyone else to hear out of embarrassment. Balance really didn't think much of the request either and had happily agreed to talk. And then things took a turn.

"Balance. I don't think I want to be a boy anymore." Naga said.

Balance had to take a moment to process just what he was being told. That was the last thing he had been expecting to be told. What was he supposed to do with this information?

"Well... you don't have to be if you don't want to." Balance finally replied. "What do you want to be instead?"

"I don't know. I just don't want to be a boy." Naga replied.

That was really not helping. Balance didn't care what gender Naga wanted to be. He just wished Naga knew what gender he did want to be. What was he supposed to do with just the knowledge Naga didn't want to be seen a boy anymore? That wasn't very helpful.

"Do you want to be a girl?" Balance tried the most obvious gender.

Naga shook his head. Balance let out a small sigh. Alright, this was going to be a bit of a guessing game then.

"Do you have anything you can describe about what you want to be then?"

Naga thought over the request for a while. Eventually he responded. "I just want to be me."

"Okay..." Balance didn't know what to dos till, but they were getting somewhere. "And does this you have any specifics for how lifeforms refer to you?"

"I don't know. I don't think I care. Is that weird?" Naga asked.

"Not at all." Balance reassured him. "There are plenty of lifeforms out there that use multiple pronouns. It's not weird at all."

"Then... can I use whatever I want?" Naga asked.

Balance nodded. "If that's what you want to do, then of course. Are you planning to tell everyone else this?"

Naga seemed a bit startled at the suggestion. "I... I don't know. What do I even say?"

"Hmm..." Balance pondered the options.

Naga wasn't wrong that it was hard to figure out what to say. How did they make everyone understand this with little questions afterward. Balance doubted Naga wanted to be asked many questions. He just wanted to tell them and have that be the end of it.

"Perhaps we need to find a term that fits you so that they can understand what you want to be better." Balance suggested.

"How do we do that?" Naga questioned.

"Let's go look it up."

The two spent a whole pouring over the various genders Balance found that might fit. In the end, Naga decided on nonbinary as the term. It sounded the most similar to what he felt. He didn't really apply the term to himself though. He was just using it to explain it to everyone.

Which he did. With Balance there to help, he told everyone what he decided on. No one had any issue with it though there were quite a few questions about it. Everyone just seemed to want to know more to make sure they didn't do something Naga didn't like.

"What do you think?" Balance had asked him after it was all over.

"I'm glad that is done." Naga replied.

"Well, you let me know if anyone gives you trouble or if you need any help and I'll do my best." Balance patted him on the shoulder.

"Thank you."