Work Text:
Jonathan had been working so hard to balance everything.
Writing, the one thing that had always been his safe space- Something he didn't have to mask or grin and bear through- Had become a chore. A stressor. Something that had a deadline, and he was working himself constantly to little result. Writer's block had always been his worst enemy.
A creator that couldn't create.
What's worse was that he also had a failing relationship that he was just barely keeping from falling apart, professional meetings where he had to sell himself as a reliable guy who could deliver a great show- A show that he couldn't even finish cause of his writer's block.
It was a lot of hard work, stressful work, and, most notably, work he had to mask through.
He couldn't unmask with Susan, no. In his heart of hearts he knew that she would probably be fine with it, but that was far too scary. What if she found him to be too much? Oh god, what if she felt betrayed or lied to? Would she think he was a fraud? How would she react if she found out that her quirky writer boyfriend had actually been a retard the entire time?
How long can a relationship truly last when one party isn't being true to who they are?
If he dared to unmask, that would also potentially jeopardize his already-struggling career as a playwright, composer, and lyricist. He couldn't afford that.
The exhaustion and overworking and burnout eventually caught up to him, though. He knew in his heart of hearts it couldn't outrun him forever.
It all came to a head when he'd gotten into a fight with Susan and she walked out on him, possibly even out of his life forever. As soon as she shut that door and left, he shattered, having the worst meltdown he'd had since he was a kid.
It was embarrassing, pathetic, and only the beginning.
The days following, he had no energy, every little thing set him off and, worst of all, he couldn't mask no matter how much he tried to will himself to.
He supposed it was ultimately his own fault, though, just like everything else in his crumbling life.