Chapter Text
Jason was not having a good day. Weird people kept asking him questions and he didn’t know what they were on about and he didn’t want to talk to them so he kept walking away and they kept trying to guide him back until Bruce finally said something about this not being meaningful. Then one of them tried to take his shirt and nope, Jason was not having that. He shoved them off of him and ran to Bruce. “Good job,” Bruce told him. Before saying louder, “You’re scaring him.”
Jason really didn’t want to be around the weird person anymore. “Bye.” He wanted them to go away.
Bruce made more noises and so did the creepy guy and then they were leaving.
Jason wanted to go home or at least back to shitty not home. Which was why he felt only dread when after they got in the car Bruce said, “One thing left to go.”
“Bye…” he whined. He thought they were done for the day.
“I know, it’s a lot,” Bruce said, “But things will calm down soon.”
“Yeah,” Jason hoped they did.
“You are doing exceptionally well,” Bruce said and Jason didn’t really know what that meant but he looked happy and Jason hoped he’d done good.
He smiled a little in response, chewing at his necklace. There were people starting to get near to them. He wanted the car to move so they could go, “Car.”
“Yeah, we’re in a car.”
Jason fucking knew that.
“Do you want to go back to the penthouse?” Bruce asked.
Jason shrugged. It was better than here. The car finally started then and Jason rested his hand against the window to feel the rumbling of it as the city went by around them.
There was a plate filled with lots of colourful food when they returned to the shitty not home. Jason ate from it, watching Bruce take the occasional piece too as he mostly stared at his glowy thing with the clacky bits. Alfred stared at a glowy thing too and Jason wanted his own glowy thing. He bit into the salty crunchy thing in his hand instead and looked around for something to do.
“Do you want to make a list of books you want for your new room?” Bruce asked.
Jason nodded and Bruce moved the glowy box over to where he could see it.
They looked at a lot of pictures of books and Bruce asked Jason what he thought about them, and books were really cool and some of them looked really pretty and Jason wanted pretty books. He grinned as Bruce kept clacking the clacky things and saying they’d get him the books.
“Clark’s here,” Bruce said suddenly.
Jason smiled, Clark was cool.
There was a woman with Clark and Jason… he recognised her and she… he thought she was nice but he wasn’t sure. He ducked under the table with his food. “Ma told me…” who was Ma? Were they coming here? Was the lady Ma? Jason realised he’d missed the rest of the words. Clark was holding out a big blanket and Jason wanted a blanket.
Bruce smiled at him and moved his mouth weirdly. He didn’t seem scared though. Jason emerged from under the table, taking a handful of sliced meat with him and walked over to grab the blanket.
“It’s good to see you again, Jason,” the woman said.
Jason moved into Bruce’s reach and let him hug him.
“Do you remember Lois?” Bruce asked. “She’s a reporter and she’s a good person. She’s here to talk to us about what happened with you.”
Jason hummed and glanced at her again. He… maybe he remembered her… yeah. “Cool?”
“I think she’s pretty swell,” Clark said.
“Alright Smallville,” Lois smirked slightly at Clark. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, Jason, all of this is up to you. And if you decide mid-conversation that you’re done, we’re done.”
Jason nodded. He could leave whenever. That was good.
“And I promise the questions won’t be too bad,” she added.
“Cool.”
“Cool.”
They wanted him and Bruce to stand together and they kept saying something about smiling and Jason didn’t know what that was about but then Clark stuck his fingers to the side of his head and grumbled “I am vengeance! I am the night! Fear me!” and Jason broke into laughter.
“It’s not that funny,” Bruce lied. It was hilarious. Jason kept giggling.
After that, they ended up on the sofa and Jason got to curl up under the blanket Clark had given him, he liked squeezing it around himself like a hug. “So, Jason, what’s it like being back home?” Lois asked.
Jason whined. They weren’t back home yet. They were at the shitty not home.
“We’re not back at the manor yet,” Bruce explained for him.
“Ah,” Lois said. “What’s it like being back with your family?”
Jason leaned into Bruce’s side. “Cool.” He’d missed having everyone around and he loved them and he was glad to have them back. He heard noises and Alfred wasn’t here. He didn’t want Alfred to be left out. He ran off to get him.
Alfred was splashing about with some pots and soapy water when Jason followed the noise to the kitchen and that looked fun and Jason could see why he’d missed out on a conversation to splash his hands about. But it didn’t change the fact there was a conversation happening and they were asking about family and that included Alfred. “Hello Master Jason,” Alfred said. “I believe you’re meant to be having an interview with the Kent-Lanes at the moment.”
Jason didn’t know what that meant but Bruce was talking with Lois and Clark. He took Alfred’s hand.
“I’m quite busy with the washing up right now.”
“Car,” Jason muttered. He wanted Alfred to come with him.
“What’s this about a car?”
Jason just continued pulling him and this time Alfred followed.
Jason led him back to the living room and pulled him over to sit on his other side before trying to pull both him and Bruce into a hug. This worked with Alfred, but Bruce was way too big for Jason to wrap an arm around his shoulders and Jason found himself being hugged instead. “Jason says a lot through tactile communication these days,” Bruce said.
Jason tilted his head in confusion.
“You can lead people to things you want, you like hugs,” Bruce told him. “And biting your brother.”
Jason laughed. Annoying Dick was fun.
“How did you feel when you found out Jason was alive?” Clark asked.
Did Bruce not know Jason had been alive. Jason… why wouldn’t Bruce have known? The blanket was stripy and soft and Jason reached for the blanket again. It was made by… Clark… maybe? It was soft. The blanket was soft and Jason liked it. And everything was okay. He chewed at the blanket nervously. Everything was fine.
“You okay, lad?” Bruce asked.
Jason was fine. Jason was great. He was with his family and everything was gonna be back to normal and nothing bad had happened. He’d just been alone for a little while and everything was fine. “You okay, lad? You okay, lad?” he echoed. He was fine.
“It’s been a long day,” Bruce said.
Jason still didn’t get what any of this was about. He was confused and scared and he was fine, fine, fine. Everyone was just acting weird and Dick had been lying about him being dead and everything was okay. Words were just hard right now but they’d come back and everything would be fine.
“Let’s go for a walk,” Bruce said.
Jason nodded. A walk sounded good.
Bruce wrapped Jason up in a thick, annoying bit of fabric and walked with him out onto the balcony. Jason wondered if they were going to go swimming but Bruce steered him away from the pool when he tried to move towards it. “We’re not swimming right now,” Bruce said.
Jason whined. He wanted to go swimming.
“Okay,” Bruce crouched down and put one hand in the water.
Jason copied him and it was stabbing cold, bad, bad, bad. He pulled his hand out of the water.
“It’s cold, right?” Bruce asked, bringing his hands towards his chest and shaking them.
Jason nodded. He wanted the water to be warm.
“Once we’re back at the manor, we’ll get a” something “pool,” Bruce said. “Means we’ll be able to go swimming in any weather.”
That sounded good. Jason splashed the water here again before remembering it was cold.
“What do you think about school where I’m your teacher?” Bruce asked.
Jason… he wanted to do good and he was good at school and he was… Bruce… he was only okay at Bruce stuff… always… not good enough. He wanted to be great at things again.
Bruce made more words that didn’t make sense and Jason wondered how he was going to cope at school without his words.
“Dad,” he said. Not sure what he wanted to or could say next.
“Can you show me what’s wrong?” Bruce asked.
Jason gestured to himself. Something was wrong with him and he couldn’t find his words and he was fine but he wasn’t but he was and… he was scared. He didn’t want anything bad to have happened.
“Do you hurt anywhere?” Bruce asked and Jason didn’t know.
He curled on himself.
“Can’t find your words right now?” Bruce asked.
That was it. They were all gone and he wanted them back and he didn’t know where they’d gone and he was scared. He was really scared. He nodded and then he was crying and Bruce was holding him.
They were moving away from the pool and back inside and Jason shook his head. He didn’t want new people to see him sobbing. This was bad. He was bad and he hated everything.
There was a presence in Jason’s head. “I can make it easier for you and Bruce to communicate. He’ll be able to hear your thoughts and vice versa.”
Jason desperately wanted that.
There was a tug at the back of his head and a question and Jason… he wanted to go home. He wanted to go home and he didn’t know why they weren’t going home or what happened and why Bruce didn’t find him earlier and he was scared and confused and mad because he couldn’t find his words and he didn’t know where they’d gone or why they’d gone and there’d been green and fire and laughter and darkness and no… he was okay. Everything was okay. He was fine. He was Robin. Robin gave him magic. Everything was okay. They were gonna go home and they were going to find his words and everything was gonna be okay. It was okay. It was great. He had his family and he had food and shelter and warmth and everything was great.
Bruce appeared in his thoughts then and they were going back to the manor soon but it was broken right now. The ground had shook and everything had fallen down and people had been stopped from coming into the city until, not long before him and Dick went to Titans Tower. There was so much going on in the city now because people were allowed back in. Bruce was sorry he didn’t find him. He didn’t know he was alive.
Jason was alive. Jason had always been alive. He was fine. He was okay. He was alive.
Bruce felt really bad and then there was someone in someone’s arms and Jason he didn’t really get it, the person was him apparently and maybe… yeah, it was him and he was alive. But, there was a body and the body was him and blood and grave soil and Jason- none of that ever happened. Jason didn’t die. He was here. He was alive. Robin gave him magic. Robin didn’t die.
Bruce was hurting and there was a thought about him waking up and they didn’t know how but he came back and maybe Robin did that but Bruce didn’t believe it.
Jason didn’t- being dead was bad and he was scared and he didn’t like this and he didn’t know why Bruce was lying to him like this.
Bruce was convinced he wasn’t lying but he moved topics. Jason’s words weren’t missing. His brain had been hurt and it was patchy and weird shaped and that was why all his words were gone. There was a chance they weren’t all going to come back.
What would he do if his words didn’t come back?
Something about pointing at pictures and then Bruce could already work out a lot from Jason’s faces and choices and noises. Jason was alive and Bruce was so relieved about that and everything else was good.
But what about school? There was… school was the place with the questions and the answers and Jason, he liked being good at that and he was good at school. Bruce stuff… he was never good at that.
School would be different right now. Bruce was worried about this because he had to help Jason with pretty much everything and he was worried because someone might leave him in dirty clothes or without food or that someone might hit him. That Jason would have a hard time telling him that and even if Jason did tell him that, it would have already happened. He also worried that Jason would get angry if a stranger had to change him, even though only Bruce, Alfred and Dick were allowed to help with that, or help him with eating or holding a pen or talking to someone. Jason was also going to have to go back to the annoying place with the tests soon and then his hands and leg and torso would all be bandaged up and Bruce didn’t think that was okay right now.
What Bruce had described didn’t sound like school. School was… school was good. School was good and Jason was good at it and he didn’t understand.
School was dangerous. Someone like the Riddler or Bruce’s annoying ex-girlfriend could target him. They’d hurt other people there to get to him too. In school with Bruce he’d still get to answer questions and he’d still be good at it. It would just be kind of different. And safer.
And Jason still wasn’t sure what he thought about it but maybe, maybe it would be okay?
If Jason didn’t like anything, they could make big changes whenever he wanted to. School could look how ever Jason wanted school to look.
Would he be able to go back to actual school once he found his words? He wanted to go back and he wanted to… school was lonely sometimes but he had some friends maybe and he couldn’t remember their names but they were good and he wanted to hang out with them and would he be able to do that?
Jason would be finishing school before too long and Bruce thought they wouldn’t find his words before he graduated. But they could use a glowy box to talk to his friends and then Jason could hang out with them not at school.
That sounded okay, Jason still wanted to go to school but if Bruce school could be fun then he’d be okay with that.
They were going to try out homeschooling then, unless Jason hated it. But they were going to have to stop talking in each other’s heads soon, was there anything else Jason wanted to say?
When could he do hero stuff again?
He wouldn’t be patrolling for a long time, maybe not ever. But they’d find other ways for him to help people. He could feed the bats and play with Ace. Help Alfred put things away. He could also hang out with old people or puppies and kittens or babies or homeless people or he could go into work with Bruce.
That all sounded okay but he wanted to be Robin.
Bruce knew that but if he was Robin, he was going to get hurt again and Bruce didn’t want that.
Jason didn’t want that either but he still… he loved being Robin.
Jason had been a brilliant Robin and Bruce was proud of him and he’d never be Robin again.
This was because he’d messed up and made Bruce mad. He hadn’t… he couldn’t remember what had happened but he was sorry. He was really sorry. It wouldn’t happen again. He’d be a better Robin.
Bruce promised it had nothing to do with what he’d done. Jason wasn’t in any trouble. He’d just been hurt and he wasn’t allowed to patrol when he was hurt.
Someone else was going to have to stop Jason and Bruce talking in each other’s heads soon.
Bruce loved him so much it made Jason’s chest tighten and he wanted him to be happy.
Jason loved him and wanted him to be happy too.
Suddenly, Jason was being held by Bruce and he had a body and there was more than just thoughts and of course there was more than just thoughts but it all felt like a lot. He buried his head in Bruce’s shoulder, everything was too much.
Bruce held him for a long moment, a voice in Jason’s head saying goodbye, and then they were going inside again.
Once inside, Alfred scolded Bruce about something to do with the cold and then made a big fuss about taking off Jason’s coat and wrapping him in a blanket and leading him over to the sofa where he was handed what seemed to be a cup with a spirally cloud and brown flecks and lots of pillow things and a stripey stick thing poking out of it. “It’s hot chocolate.” Bruce said.
Lois said something about house fires and Jason couldn’t see anything burning. She seemed calm too and so did Bruce. He hoped everything was okay. He was tired and felt wrung out. He flopped into Bruce’s side, the cloud toppling over onto Bruce’s leg.
“Are you okay with Lois and I talking for a bit?” Bruce asked, holding the cup with him.
Jason nodded, looking curiously when Alfred put a red thing in his cloud thing. It looked chewable but it didn’t taste of much until he sucked on it and then it tasted chocolatey and milky and good.
“So, can either of you tell me what you like to get up to, Jason?”
“Car,” Jason answered. He liked going around in cars.
Bruce then made more noises and Jason was tired even though he wasn’t sleepy. He wanted to be here but he didn’t want to listen to all the noises. That took way too much effort. He reached for the book on the coffee table then shifted around until he was comfortable, head resting on Bruce’s legs. He then started to tear the paper, feeling the way it bent and resisted then gave, and looking at the bits of fluff it left between the pieces and the way the light slipped through then and the noise it made, especially if he tore them fast and there was so much paper dust that he could flick about. Then if he flicked through the book there was a rainbow of different colours flashing past his eyes and each one made a little thwup noise as it hit the one beneath it and they all brushed against his thumb and it tickled just slightly.
At some point Bruce was looking kind of intensely at him as he tore off lots of chunks of pretty blue paper. Did Bruce want the blue paper? Jason handed some over before going back to his shredding and leafing.
Lois stood up and Jason was ready to be left alone or at least left alone aside from family. “Bye,” he said.
She made more noises about something coming out tomorrow and that they could read it and Jason was tired, he flopped into Bruce’s side.
Lois left and they slept for a while after that. Today was going weird and stressful. Every day was pretty weird and stressful at the moment and Jason wanted to go home but Bruce had said… in his head, they were going home soon. They were going home soon and everything… he wanted things to be okay. He really wanted things to be okay. Bruce said they were going to do everything they could to make things okay and that was, Jason thought that was good. He was still scared and he didn’t want to be scared anymore. He wondered where his Robin mask was. The mask stopped him from feeling scared. Robin was magic, Robin didn’t get scared.