Work Text:
It is impossible to understand a relationship if you have not seen a couple discuss, love and sleep together (...) Discuss, love and sleep...
O o O
James Kirk leans back in his chair, propping his feet up on the coffee table in the apartment they share in San Francisco. He looks into the kitchen where Spock and Leonard McCoy are at opposite ends of the counter. The shiny copper pots, borrowed from a neighbor, are already beginning to bubble with the aroma of peaches. McCoy adjusts his apron, a gift from Kirk that reads "Chef Bones" in bright letters.
"I tell you, Jim, nothing beats my grandmother's recipe for peach jam." McCoy declares confidently. "Just a dash of cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg and you've got the perfect breakfast!"
Spock raises an eyebrow and examines the jar of nutmeg in front of him. "Leonard, your anecdotal evidence does not constitute empirical proof. This jam must be subjected to rigorous testing before you declare it superior to commercially available alternatives. In addition, I must add that it will contain an excessive amount of sugar.This is unhealthy."
"Oh, come on, darling!" McCoy rolls his eyes. "It's jam, not a science experiment! It is about trying to enjoy something pleasant that sweetens our lives!"
Kirk laughs from the living room, and prepares to enjoy the usual dialectical combat between the two men he loves the most. "Relax, Bones. Let's see how it turns out!"
McCoy snorts and continues stirring the boiling mixture. Spock remains standing beside him, watching the pot with his usual Vulcan detachment. "The consistency of this mixture seems suboptimal."
"What do you mean, suboptimal?" McCoy retorts, putting down the spoon with a clatter. "It's supposed to be a little runny at this stage. It thickens as it cools!"
Spock tilts his head slightly, considering the answer."Indeed..... However, your enthusiasm may not take into account the probability of miscalculation."
Kirk can see the vein in McCoy's forehead begin to throb.
"Well, Mr. Perfect, if you think you can do better, go ahead!" He pushes the spoon toward Spock, who takes it calmly.
"Indeed." Spock says, unperturbed. He dips the spoon into the pot and tastes the jam with a contemplative expression.
McCoy crosses his arms over his chest, watching Spock intently. "Well?"
Spock chews slowly, frowning slightly. "The taste is acceptable, although the acidity could be balanced with more sugar."
McCoy grunts. "Jim, he is impossible! He just told me that sugar is unhealthy!"
Kirk laughs, rising from his chair and walking toward the kitchen. "Hey! How about we just add a little more sugar and see how it looks?"
Groaning, McCoy opens the bag of sugar and pours some into the pot. "Okay, but don't blame me if it's too sweet now!"
The duo continues to stir and taste, adjusting the ingredients until finally, McCoy nods in satisfaction. "There it is. Now we just need to let it cool."
However, Spock reaches out, taking a small spoonful and examining the consistency. "Leonard, I believe the mixture requires further reduction to achieve the desired viscosity."
McCoy throws up his hands in frustration. "Viscosity! Jim, is this the guy you let me make jam with?"
Kirk tries to hold back a grin. "Yeah, and besides he's your other boyfriend. Come on, Spock! let's let him cool off! I'm sure he'll be fine."
Spock nods reluctantly and steps back as he places his hands together behind his back. "If you insist...."
Once the jam has cooled sufficiently, McCoy pulls out a fresh loaf of bread. He spreads a generous amount of jam on three slices and hands them out. "Now taste it!"
Kirk takes a bite and his hazel eyes widen. "Bones, this is amazing!"
Even Spock looks pleasantly surprised as he chews thoughtfully. "It's tasty, Leonard."
McCoy smiles triumphantly. "I told you my grandmother knew what she was doing!"
Spock remains diplomatic. "Although her culinary knowledge cannot be considered scientific, it is evidently effective."
"I'm glad you approve," McCoy mutters as he takes another spoonful. However, as he fumbles for the huge jar he has filled and cooked, he accidentally tips it over, colliding with a jar of honey that shatters into a thousand pieces. The sticky mixture spreads in all directions, splattering the countertop, the floor and even staining the ceiling.
"Bones!" Kirk exclaims, trying to contain his laughter. "Look at the mess you've made!"
"Great!" McCoy mutters, trying to pick up the goo. "Spock, help me with this, will you?"
Spock grabs a rag and begins to wipe up the spill. "Doctor, perhaps if you were less exuberant in your movements, you could avoid these incidents."
McCoy shoots him a wicked look. "Maybe if you didn't criticize every little thing I do, my moves wouldn't be so 'exuberant'!"
Kirk leans against the counter, smiling as the two argue. Eventually, he intervenes, taking the rag from Spock's hands. "All right, let's declare a truce. We've got a lot of jam still and the kitchen isn't going to clean itself."
The three of them spend the next hour scrubbing every nook and cranny of the kitchen. When they finally sit down again, the late afternoon sun is long gone.
Kirk looks over at McCoy, who has leaned back on the sofa. His apron is now covered with jam, honey and sugar stains "So, Bones, when's the next batch?"
McCoy grunts, tossing his apron aside. "Not until I've had a week of peace and quiet!"
Spock, still holding a stained rag, simply raises an eyebrow. "Leonard, I think peace and quiet is statistically improbable given your temperament."
"Why, my stubborn Vulcan-?" McCoy begins, but Kirk interrupts him with a big laugh.
"All right, all right. Let's go to sleep. Tomorrow, we'll figure out what to do with all this extra jam."
When McCoy prepares for bed, he doesn't realize that he's still wearing a large jam stain on his cheek, a remnant of that night's culinary battle.
James Kirk smiles as he sees the sweet trace on McCoy's face, indicating with a knowing gesture to Spock that he's noticed it too. Spock, with a very soft and rare smile, approaches McCoy, who is already lying on the bed, and with a tender but meticulous gesture, wipes the stain with the edge of the sheet.
"Always taking care of the details, huh, Spock?" McCoy murmurs in a playful tone, while Spock nods with a seriousness that fails to hide the love in his gaze.
Kirk, for his part, joins them on the bed, making sure everyone is comfortable. "Well, if we're going to share jam, I'm glad it's in such a sweet spot!" he jokes, pointing to McCoy's cheek, eliciting a shared chuckle from Jim and Bones.
When the night closes in around them, the boundaries between them fade further, replaced by a deep, affectionate sexual intimacy.
They know that no matter what challenges await them out there in space, as long as they have each other, they can face anything. Even create a new, sticky peach jam recipe sweetened with honey!