Work Text:
Hanamura Yosuke falls in love the way seasons change. There is a gradual shift, unseen and unnoticed, and then suddenly everything is different.
One day he’s going about his life, and the next day the transfer student is pulling him out of a trash can. It’s probably the most embarrassed he’s been in his life, topping every over humiliating moment bar none. But the guy hadn’t laughed at him; He had looked at him with concern, and maybe some horror, but nothing more. He watched Yosuke brush the garbage remnants off of his pants, and his expression was remarkably blank.
They quickly grow close. After all, it’s not every day something like that happens, especially to him. But Inaba is full of strange and unsettling happenings nowadays. Not long after the transfer student, Narukami Yu, came to Yasogami High, two people are now dead.
The famous reporter, Yamano Mayumi, was found strung up on a television antenna. Yamano had already been in the media’s crossfire because of her entanglement with Namatame Taro, both because of his political ties and his marriage to Hiiragi Misuzu, the enka singer.
Not even a week passed, and Saki…
Konishi Saki was found in a similar bizarre manner, atop a telephone pole.
Saki was dead. She wasn’t coming back.
Maybe all those rumors of a Midnight Channel were true…
He finds himself mirrored. Before him is his Shadow, his true self . Whatever that means. But all his words are poison and cruel and…
True.
They’re true. Yosuke’s playing hero. He hates his job, he hates his life, he wants to do something. Something good? Or something to pass the time? To give him an ego boost.
Yosuke sees himself and feels sick, the sneer melting off his veneer. “You’re not me!” He shouts anyway, to look better. If Narukami casts him off, something will slip through his fingers.
Closure? Friendship?
No time to think when he’s already passing out.
Yukiko is on TV, and gets drawn into the web. Chie begs to come along, to help out her friend in any way she can. She faces herself, and Yukiko does, too. Yosuke feels… a connection because of that. Narukami, although part of their group, was given his powers somehow. Without conquering some part of himself, some internal struggle. No, he was blessed . He’s blessed with good looks and charisma and is everything Yosuke isn’t .
Yosuke is raw. He’s lost something, but gained something he never wanted, shouldn’t want in the process. His resentment grows the closer they get.
He bares himself, and Narukami does, too, but he’s a monolith of ice still. He’s a brick wall that Yosuke can only chip away at with toothpicks. Slowly, he breaks off chunks. But he can’t break through, cannot reveal the truths of his heart, the truths Narukami got to see.
Yosuke wants to have his hands on the worst parts of Yu, swallow them whole so he can have a piece of that presence. So he can be well-liked, so he can be the hero, so that some girl can…
He feels ill at ease. The thought is wrong. Not morally (but, yes , morally, he admits), but… something about it isn’t… right. Misplaced?
He’s got Narukami spitting up cherry-red blood. His lip is split, and Yosuke isn’t faring any better. From his place atop Narukami’s chest, he stares down at him. They’re both bloody and bruised. They’re panting hard. He aches and hurts and yet, he feels good. He’s on top of Narukami, on top of the food chain. He laughs. It’s a stupid laugh, a bitter laugh.
It takes root in his chest, spreads through his extremities, washing over him like a wave. Adrenaline tastes like blood and sweat, and it feels like a warm, shaking body beneath his own weight.
Something is happening to him. He likes it. It scares him. But it’s not the remnants of their tussle that sets him off, no. It’s him, straddling Narukami, catching his breath. Narukami is looking at him with those eyes like marbles, unreadable. “Hold up,” he mutters, muddled by his busted lip. With thumb alone, he flicks something off of the grain of Yosuke’s cheek.
Narukami Yu…
Yu…
But he can’t. Boys don’t love like that. They can’t. Yosuke can’t love a boy. He’s not gay.
He’s not.
With Kanji joining the Investigation Team, things get more complicated for Yosuke. The thoughts he’s kept at bay… Kanji is like a physical manifestation of them. He’s a constant reminder that those things exist in Inaba. They’re a reminder that he’s not as above it as he’d like to be.
But maybe it’s not gay. Yosuke has never had a friend like Yu, so integral to his life. An aibou . It had slipped out once, mid-battle. Yu had just kept grinning, said nothing. Each time he forms the word, Yu smiles.
Totally not gay. No homosexuals here.
He doesn’t feel like this with girls. He doesn’t feel like this with boys. So what is this?
Not safe.
He takes it out on Kanji, his insecurities. Kanji doesn’t make him uncomfortable, no. But what he represents… Yosuke has to suppress it. His life has been planned since birth. It’s every man’s ideal life, right? He’ll be in charge of Junes, have a lovely wife, a few kids…
The thought, which used to comfort him in idle daydreams, makes his stomach ache.
Rise and Naoto join. The team has grown ever larger. Yosuke, for the first time in a long time, has a circle of friends. People who actually like him, who like to be around him. Sure, they get annoyed with him now and then, and he gets annoyed with them, but that’s what friendship’s about in his humble opinion.
The gap between him and Yu is closing more and more. He’s within arm’s reach of Yu now, he can taste it. If Yu is the planet, Yosuke is the moon. It’s not such a bad gig. Yu relies on him, the whole team does. Each member does their share. Everyone lends to their success. They’re almost to the truth. Just a few more pieces, he thinks, and you can rest easy. Both of you.
Saki… She frequents his thoughts, but not in the same manner. The grief still weighs heavy. It sits awkwardly in his chest, something that shouldn’t belong but has made a home there, anyway.
You deserved to live. You deserved to get out of here alive.
On one of his days off, he visits the Konishi family haka in secret. I hope this is okay… I didn’t think your parents would wanna see me, what with Junes and all.
Yosuke prays before Saki’s final resting place. We’re gonna get him, I promise. If we don’t, or if I show up way too early, you have permission to beat my ass. Seriously.
He stares at the stone quietly, worrying his lip. I didn’t have the best intentions starting out. But… It’s what you and Yamano deserve, yeah? Peace knowing that whoever got you gets his.
The setting sun casts long shadows across the ground. He leaves before dark.
Yosuke nearly makes the worst mistake of his life. Yu brings him back to earth, tethering him back onto its surface.
I almost… I was almost as bad as…!
He lets go of Namatame, hiccuping. He falls into Yu, who is very still. His hands do not rise to embrace Yosuke. They hang limply at his sides.
Yu is numb.
Even this act will not save the cousin he loves dearly.
Adachi, a cruel jester. His crimes are finally over. He’s put away. He’s going to trial, and surely to prison, too. Yosuke sags. Everyone’s energy is low.
“It’s really over,” Yu whispers.
“Saki,” he mumbles under his breath. “I was good for something, wasn’t I?” Yosuke collapses onto Yu as the reality starts to sink in.
It takes a long time for everyone to process.
“Aibou.” Yosuke touches his shoulder with a trembling hand. “We did it.”
“We did.” Yu’s voice is rapsy. His mouth must be dry at this point.
Yosuke’s too tired to care about anyone else’s opinion. He molds himself to Yu, hugging him tightly. “Thank you. For this. Without you, none… none of this would have happened. I really owe you.”
“Aibou,” Yu starts, then coughs. Exertion is taking its toll. “You owe me nothing.”
Yu’s all packed up to leave. Of course everything goes sideways on his last day. A last laugh at the Investigation Team’s expense. Fighting and killing a god wasn’t on his bingo card, that’s for sure.
If not for Yu’s second wind, they would have all been wiped out… The world would’ve… No, he shouldn’t think about that.
They rest in the place where it all started, the central stage to their conflict. By the stack of boxy TVs, they heal up. Once they’re back to full health, they climb back out. Yu and Yosuke are the last ones inside.
“You coming, aibou?” Yosuke looks back at him, poised to exit.
“Mm. Yeah. Just…”
“Is there some other thing about the case we missed…?” Yosuke’s breath is shuddering. He’s still barely on his feet, even with all the magic pumped into him. All the damage they took… he’s sure it’ll leave scars on them all for years to come.
“No.” Yu comes up to him, stands mere inches away. They’re so close. They’ve lined up perfectly in each other’s orbit. If he reached out…
Yu holds his hand tight. His grip is like a vice, and his hand goes white from the squeeze. Yosuke makes no noise, no sound. He doesn’t complain. He accepts the touch, harsh as it is, even if it’s not what he wants. Today is about Yu. It’s his last day.
“Yosuke, you’re… You’re my best friend.”
Yosuke’s chest is on fire, surely. Even just as friends, to have Yu in his life, by his side, is blessing enough. “You’re my best friend, too. I’m glad you came, even if it wasn’t forever…”
Yu looks… the emotion on his face, it’s the clearest he’s ever seen it. He’s not sure why. Is it how tired he is? Is it the strength of what he’s feeling? Is it adrenaline, what’s coursing through his blood adorned, sweat anointed body? “God… This is so stupid, why did I wait until the last moment…”
Yosuke doesn’t catch up, so Yu’s mouth brings him up to speed. Chilly spring melts into molten summer, and Yosuke is tinder up in flames.
They kiss and kiss. It’s part of Yosuke’s routine now, but it still never feels old. Each time he’s as giddy as that clueless closeted high schooler in love.
This is a moment that version of him would have never seen coming. Two men getting married. Sure, he would be shocked. But him being one of the grooms? He would have had a heart attack.
His heart is giving him trouble now too, but for completely different reasons.
There’s only one answer he can give his dearest, his aibou, his husband.
“I do.”
knowing you, being with you… it’s changed so much about me. i’ve grown into a better person because you’re in my life. we’ve had our ups and downs. every couple has their share of hardships, of course. but i wouldn’t trade what we have for anything, and i’m honored… to be your husband.
i love you.