Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Brat, get down here!" 

Kurumi, dangling from the ceiling beams of her Tobirama ojisan's lab by her legs, crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue. 

"Nyeeh" She gave the white-haired shinobi her best impression of his own face when mad, scrunching up her nose and narrowing her eyes down at him. 

"Don't you make me up there and get you." 

Kurumi unlatched one of her legs from the ceiling beam, shifting her weight and swinging lightly as she crossed it over her knee like she was sitting down, ignoring the way her uncle crossed his arms and frowned at her.

She technically wasn't supposed to be in here. Well, sort of.

Her and ojisan had an ongoing game of how much she could sneak around him without him noticing. A game that was really hard, seeing as he was a crazy good sensor. The best sensor ever in history, Kurumi personally thought, but he'd only sighed, exasperated, and said something about her doing awful things to his ego when she mentioned it. 

But she was getting really good at it! So good in fact that Tobi-oji hadn't even noticed her slip into his lab while he worked on whatever complicated seal work he had going on on the floor. 

At least, not until she'd slipped up and snickered at the way he scowled down at the seal, as if wishing it to make more sense to him. 

"Kurumi, I'm serious," Tobirama said warningly, and Kurumi's mock scowl lessened. He did seem more upset than he'd usually get whenever he caught her sneaking. 

"I'm working with some very serious seals right now, it's all very delicate. I can't have you in here with this out, it isn't safe."

Aww, well now Kurumi felt bad. 

"Sorry ojisan." She said obediently, uncrossing her arms as she rubbed at the back of her neck meekly. 

"It's fine, Kurumi." Tobirama sighed, rubbing at his nose in exasperation— leaving a smear of dark ink as he did. "Just come down here. I'm not getting anywhere with this anyways, how about we both take a break."

Kurumi giggled at her uncle, unlatching from the ceiling beam and beginning her fall. She twisted in the air, aiming to fall neatly into his arms, willing him to catch him as she went. 

As she fell, she absentmindedly eased the pressure she'd been holding on her chakra. She had to keep it very, very tightly wrapped in order to slip past her uncle, even while he was so distracted by seal work. It was a relief to relax, the strain of keeping it clamped so long a real exercise for her chakra control.

Being released after so long spent under pressure, her chakra naturally flared. Just a bit. But enough. 

There was a faint glow from the mess of seals painted across the table as she passed over it. 

As if in slow motion, Kurumi saw ojisan's eyes grow wide, his lips parting to say something.

"Kuru—"

For a moment, it felt like she was suspended in the air. Arms raised as she fell towards her ojisan's waiting arms. Muscles relaxed and smile on her face, trusting him to catch her.

And— 

She—

Blinked—

—

—

—

Dark eyes opened to an even darker room.

Feeling dizzy, dizzier even than when Tobi-ojisan brought her along with his special flashy flashy teleport jutsu, Kurumi sat up. 

Huh.

...When had she laid down? 

The girl blinked, once, twice, three times and then a fourth for good measure. Like maybe if she only blinked hard enough, the room would magically start making sense. 

Because this room— it was still ojisan's lab, wasn't it? 

Kurumi squinted. Her eyes, mismatched shades of Hatake grey and more capable of seeing in the dark than a normal person's might, still straining to see in the incredibly dark room. 

As her eyes began to readjust to the sudden dark, her first thought was reaffirmed. This was definitely ojisan's lab! Just... emptier? 

She stood slowly, her legs feeling oddly unsteady. 

"Huh." 

The shelves, tables, even lots of the fancy schmancy tools she often saw ojisan working with, it was all still here. The photos and trinkets ojisan liked to squirrel away whenever anyone gifted him anything too! 

Kurumi spotted her own lumpy attempt at sculpting a strawberry out of clay on one of the shelves, the same place it had been in since she proudly gifted it to ojisan some months ago. Right next to it, that dumb bird sculpture Kagami had made and gifted ojisan literally a week after— the copycat. 

But still, things were missing.

There were none of the usual neat piles of carefully bound paperwork on the desk, no folders of colorful seals or bottles of specially made ink ojisan was always so strict about keeping in stock. 

There were a couple books on the otherwise barren bookcases, and after a second Kurumi realized that just about all of them were the 'baby books' ojisan was ok with her poking through.

Everything valuable, from a research perspective at least, was missing. 

Kurumi frowned. 

Had ojisan moved his lab? 

No, that couldn't be it. 

Maybe the seal was one of ojisan's super special flashy flashy transportation jutsus? A top-secret new version! And it had teleported her to ojisan's super secret lab hidden deep underground! Guarded by fierce lions and tigers and bears and probably at LEAST one wolf, because ojisan would be crazy to not have a wolf on guard because wolves were objectively the coolest most strong and brave animal out there.

Kurumi paled. 

Oh man, forget the lions, tigers and bears, (not the wolves though she refused to forget about those.) Ojisan was going to be so mad at her.

She'd gone and accidentally activated some special seal of his and possibly uncovered a super top-secret lab! Which was really cool but also really bad!

Not to mention, wherever she was, she didn't actually know how far she now was from Konoha!

Shinobi rule number 13 stated that when lost in unknown territory, it's best to stay put and cross your fingers and hope really, REALLY hard that someone finds you. And fast. 

Kurumi glanced around the dark lab. 

...She kind of didn't want to stay put here though. It was weird and dusty and felt wrong, with everything missing and everything dark.

She licked her lips, mouth dry, and could taste the stale air in the room. Old and dry, somehow feeling just as abandoned as the room itself.

Her nose twitched as she gave a gentle sniff, greeted by even more stale air.

No one had been here in a long, long time. 

Hmmmm... yeah ok she wasn't staying here.

She should check out the rest of ojisan's weird, abandoned mirror lab anyways. Get to know the territory and all that! Woo, scouting mission—! 

Kurumi nodded to herself, carefully making her way over to the door— identical to the one she'd just passed through just an hour ago. 

Man, this was so weird. 

Kurumi blinked, suddenly somehow feeling even weirder when the hallway connecting the lab also revealed itself to be identical to the one in ojisan's home. 

Wow, ojisan... Kurumi couldn't tell if this was like, weird, weird, or if this was just being reeeally committed to architecture. 

Kurumi crept down the hallway, keeping a careful watch on her chakra. Squishing it as far down as she did when she was sneaking directly behind ojisan and his dumb overpowered sensor powers. She didn't know where she was after all, and didn't want to risk having to explain herself to any guards ojisan possibly had lurking around here.

She stopped halfway down the hall though, attention suddenly caught by the pictures hung up on the wall.

Pictures of faces, both familiar and very, very not.

Kurumi stared, slack jawed, at what appeared to be multiple family photos of ojisan, and then ojisan's dumb tree brother and his family. His family who was apparently a lot bigger than she remembered. 

She blinked hard, tilting her head so far that body tilted with it, as if that could make the photos make sense. 

Did... Did the hokage have a secret family???

Did Kurumi just find ojisan's secret family house? 

Kurumi shook her head violently, trying to physically throw the thought out of her mind. 

No way, that wouldn't make sense! It'd be dumb to keep them a secret when Konoha was all about keeping your family safe, right? And besides...

Kurumi frowned, picturing the beaming face of ojisan's weirdo tree brother as he babbled on about how pretty and perfect and talented his wife was.

"...There's no way that guy would keep a family secret." 

Oh—! 

Kurumi perked up, a thought occurring to her.

Maybe this was a decoy house? Ojisan loved having plans on top of plans on top of plans. He'd totally make a weird fake copy house with weird fake family pictures for some super smart, way complicated master plan! 

Like, maybe he was going to use this place one day to trick a bunch of people into thinking they were in his house for real, but then boom! Fake house! You're dead! 

Kurumi nodded, slowly picking up the pace once again as she continued down the hall. 

That totally made sense.

Well, it made sense in that it didn't really make sense, which means it was probably a Tobi-ojisan plan. Obviously, it was just too high level for her to understand yet. 

She snickered, watching as the fake family photos got older and older.

Man, Tobi-ojisan didn't look like he aged at all as these things went on, even while everyone around him did. Save Mito-hime anyways. But that was different, she was an Uzumaki, and everyone knows they age well.

Did ojisan really expect to age this well? Or maybe he was so insecure about getting all old and crusty that even in his weird, abandoned decoy house, he skipped out on making himself look too old in the fake photos. 

Ha! Kurumi would have to double down on calling him 'old man' when she got back home. Couldn't let him get too comfortable! 

Kurumi continued to walk through the copy house, no longer as bothered by its stale air and abandoned feel now that she knew what was going on. 

Instead, she picked and poked at the plants slowly inching across the walls, giggled at the silly family photos filled with familiar faces turned old, thought up nicknames for the unfamiliar faces.

Her favorite had to be the little blonde girl with the spiky pigtails. Kurumi delightedly nicknamed her 'brat-chan' after snickering at a few different photos of her pulling on a very stressed looking Hashirama's hair. She hoped that when he did have kids they'd be as funny looking as Brat-chan.

Kurumi idly wondered if these were real photos they had posed for. Probably, right? Or were they somehow faked through and through? 

She kind of wanted to meet whoever the little actress who played Brat-chan, she looked so squishable! And also like she'd be down to set one of Kagami's robes on fire, which was really the important part of any blossoming friendship. 

Kurumi stepped past the overgrown greenery that covered the living room, hopping across patches of moss and twisting tree roots that had lifted the floorboards as she approached the front door. 

She hummed as she opened it up, eager to get out of the fake house, and then stopped. 

Because outside of ojisan's weirdo decoy house was apparently a matching decoy yard. 

She stepped out into the yard hesitantly, looking up at the familiar trees, now taller and older to match the house.

...And apparently outside of the decoy yard was a matching decoy Senju compound. 

"Wow," Kurumi mumbled, a faint chill crawling down her spine as nothing but the rustle of leaves and faint sound of the wind echoed back at her. "Ojisan, you sure are committed to this whole fake abandoned house thing, huh?"

It made sense though, right? Maybe... maybe, this was like, a last resort thing? Make the enemy believe that Konoha was actually abandoned? 

Or maybe she was an idiot, and this was all genjutsu! 

Kurumi slapped her forehead, suddenly feeling stupid as she eased up on the heavy hand she had on her chakra, lashing it out and making a hand sign.

"Kai!" 

Nothing changed.

She frowned, and then just to be sure, tried again. 

"Kai!"

Still nothing.

Ok, probably not genjutsu then. (Unless it was just to adanced for her to break at her level, but if that was the case, she probably had bigger problems.) Just... An abandoned set made to look like the senju compound had been left to rot for...

Kurumi looked around herself, appraising.

... A long time.

Whatever. Ojisan had done weirder. Probably. This definitely was at the top of the list though. For sure. 

Kurumi picked up the pace once again, leaping up into the trees as she aimed for where she knew the compound exit to be. 

She was done giggling over photos of brat-chan and ojisan projecting his unwillingness to age even in a mock photo. She wanted to get out of here, away from the empty houses and overgrown trees that loomed taller than she knew them to grow. 

More decoy houses flashed by as she jumped from tree to tree, all of them empty and overgrown. All eerily abandoned, adding to the creeping sense of dread that shivered up her spine.

She came to a halt at the compound gates, eyeing the strange, unfamiliar seal branded into wooden doors. Kurumi debated risking just hopping over the wall or approaching the seal.

Logic won out, a voice that sounded suspiciously like ojisan telling her not to be impulsive, and she dropped down from the trees to approach the seal. 

It looked kind of like ojisan's work? But also, not. Maybe it was Mito-hime? She really wouldn't know; Kurumi was kind of just guessing at this point, seals were 

Kurumi squinted, pulling back a bit to try and understand what she was looking at. She didn't know anything about seals, not really, but what little she did glean from peeking over ojisan's shoulders told her that this was something that basically (probably) amounted to "keep out." 

Well. She didn't really want in, so it'd probably be fine if she passed through, right? 

Hesitantly, she approached the gates, placing a careful hand on the big iron latch. The seal glowed for a moment, and in an instant, Kurumi was back up in the trees, watching carefully as the glow died down.

She glanced at her hand, and then the seal. It hadn't done anything to her besides glow, but that was harmless. 

She dropped down again and tried once more. There was no glow this time, the gate allowing her to pass through without contest.

She glanced back at the empty, overgrown fake compound one more time before slipping out. She trusted whatever weird back up plan ojisan had made this for, but man it felt weird to walk through. 

Once on the other side of the gate, she turned to look at it— only to find there was no gate at all. Instead, there was nothing but stone and wood, a cliff wall covered in blossoms. 

Huh! 

Well, it made sense they'd want to hide the decoy compound. Wouldn't do for anyone to just wander in. 

Kurumi absently rubbed the hand that had touched to the gate on her shorts, telling herself the tingling sensation was all in her head as she turned towards the forest she'd found herself in.

And stopped again. 

Because the forest? 

It was another imitation of home. 

The hand shed brushed against her shorts clenched around the fabric as little needles of cold fear prickled behind her ears. 

She stared at the familiar trees, older but familiar, just like the compound had been. 

Something was wrong.

Her nose twitched, the faint smells of civilization wafting towards her, and she started a a brisk jog that quickly turned into a run, then a full out sprint as familiar yet too tall trees only continued to unsettle her more and more.

Something was wrong, wrong, wrong.

There's no way, ojisan made a whole fake forest just for a decoy compound. The compound itself was already totally crazy impressive! And it had been hidden with seals! What's the point of hiding it if it's hidden inside of, what, another hidden decoy?? 

Ojisan was a 'plans inside of plans inside of plans' kind of guy, yeah, but Kurumi didn't think he'd go that far.

The fear trickling behind her ears increased as it became clear that following the smells and sounds of civilization was leading her down the same path she'd taken that morning from the city center to the compound. 

What next, a fake Konoha?

No way, wouldn't be possible, and she could already hear people anyways. People people, not empty homes and old winds.

Maybe— maybe the path she was on was actually a secret hidden path, connected to Konoha. And just this stretch of trees was also a decoy, and it was like the seals ok the gates where once she was put of here its be hidden again. It'd make sense, right? Of course, if ojisan made a whole decoy compound for his clan he'd want to keep it close to his real house. That way he could actually lead enemies there instead of the real one! 

Yeah. Yeah, that had to be it, for sure! 

Kurumi leapt from the trees in a blur as she saw buildings, zooming past training fields she didn't recognize (was she on the other side of town?) Filled with faces of unfamiliar kids around her age that turned her way curiously as she streaked past. 

Some kind of demonstration? She didn't care. 

She was in Konoha and this whole thing had totally freaked her out and ojisan was probably so mad at her for disappearing, and also really worried even though he'd never admit it. So she'd just find him first and then calm down.

Just. Find ojisan first. 

He hadn't immediately come after her through the seal (had going through it messed it up for him? Oops.) So he'd probably either be still at home or headed her way across town right now. 

She didn't really recognize which part of town she was in right now— new shops were setting up every day, new clans joining the steadily growing village, she wasn't too surprised to be a little lost. 

But she recognized the Hokage Tower up ahead, and knew that wherever she was in town, it was a good central point to try and meet ojisan.

She flared her chakra in the pattern he had taught her to use when asking for his attention as she zipped up the wall— attracting more than a few startled noises from bystanders she pushed past and leapt over. 

Not wanting to freak out or alert anyone when she knew she technically didn't have permission to just break into ojisan's office whenever she wanted, she clamped down hard on her chakra, once again suppressing it as low as she could.

But it was just for the walk up the wall till she reached the right window, which was very conveniently unlocked (Odd, ojisan always locked the windows. It was part of why she's gotten so good at picking them) 

It was a narrow window, high up on the wall and just the right size for her to squirm through. Ojisan always liked to say it was brat-sized, which she resented till she was able to re-use the insult that one time she found Kagami squirming through it. 

She slipped through it easily now, a smooth and practiced movement after having done it so many times since her clan had come to Konoha. 

And she stopped. 

The fear behind her ears wasn't a trickle anymore. It was a heavy, cold weight wrapped around her head, a dull roar that blocked out all other sound. Heat prickled under her skin, her fangs itched in her mouth, and her heart pounded under her skin.

This wasn't ojisan's office.

It wasn't an office at all. 

She spun around, mouth as stale and dry as the air had been in that awful decoy house as she took in the sight of filing cabinets.

Because she was in a filing room.

This couldn't be right. This couldn't be right—!

There was no way she'd gotten the wrong window, not in a million years. She'd been in a rush but not that much of a rush. 

Something was wrong wrong. Something was seriously wrong.

"Kai!" She shouted in desperation, willing the genjutsu to dispel.

Nothing happened and she growled in frustration, hands coming up to tug uselessly at her hair.

"Kai!" She tried again, and this time couldn't stop a distressed whine from escaping her when nothing changed. 

She— she had to—

She just needed to go straight to ojisan's house. That was it. Coming here was dumb anyways and, and ojisan probably just moved offices the other day and she'd missed it. 

She spun around, scrambling back up the wall and shimmying out the window only to stop halfway through. 

Because in front of her, she was greeted with the full view of Konoha.

Unfamiliar buildings among unfamiliar buildings, and looming above it all, four strange faces carved into rock that had not been there this morning. 

Chapter Text

Kurumi's eyes flitted over the stone faces frantically. Tree-jiji was still there, and then what had to be Ojisan, and then 2 faces she didn't recognize. 

She stayed there for more than she probably should, mind racing as she dangled half out of the window. 

Her breaths came in shorter and shorter gasps as she began to really panic, not understanding why or what or how this was happening. 

Where was she?

Because wherever this was, it wasn't her Konoha! 

She fell back into the room, back hitting the floor with a sting she ignored as she stared up at the ceiling, wild eyed and gasping out short, panicked breaths. 

Ok. Ok, she was in Hokage Tower. A weird one, one without Ojisan's office, but still the Hokage Tower. 

And— And the faces on the cliffside, even if they were strange and new she still recognized at least Hashirama's carved head.

So, wherever she was, at the very least Tree-jiji had to be here. He had to be. 

And even though the dumb old guy was totally lame, always crying over some pretty flowers or the way his wife's hair flipped in the wind, he'd be able to explain whatever was happening to her. He'd know what to do, he had to! And he'd know where Ojisan was for sure, and it'd be fine.

It'd be fine. It had to be fine.

Kurumi picked herself off the floor, her eyes unsteady, her hands trembling, her thoughts a disarray, and began to run. 

She darted out into the halls, swerving through more unfamiliar faces— and look, she wasn't really an expert on everyone in the village, but she knew some people, knew faces, in the Hokage Tower especially with how often she slipped in through Ojisan's office window and slunk around its halls. And right now, she recognized none of these people.

She ignored this fact though, determined to find Hashirama, determined to get answers. (Or even just a quick hug because this wasn't funny anymore, it had stopped being funny all the way back in the fake compound with Brat-chan's photos) 

She squished down her chakra and zipped through all the shortcuts she knew to get all the way up to the Hokage's office, circling around the places she knew Tobi-oji, Madara-sama and Hikaku-sama liked to tuck away guards. 

Even so, she found herself having to swerve around unfamiliar guards in unfamiliar masks, forced to run in multiple circles that left her even more frantic and distressed as she avoided getting caught.

Who were these people? Why were the usual guard patterns all shuffled? Why was it so hard to avoid them? 

Somehow, she was able to slip by unseen, the frantic energy she'd gathered while making her multiple detours around unfamiliar guards only making more distressed tears prickle behind her eyes. 

This wasn't fun, this felt like a whole, real mission. A real mission gone bad.

Sneaking around the tower was one of her favorite things to do and now it was all bad and weird and wrong and no one was where they were supposed to be and she wanted her Ojisan—!

She gasped, the tears she'd been suppressing finally welling up in her eyes as she spotted Hashirama's office door. 

She barreled through it, barley noting the startled exclamation from the masked guard who was most likely supposed to be guarding the door but apparently wasn't prepared for the crying 11-year-old to burst out of nowhere. 

"Tree-jiji—!" She wailed, vision blurring and tears fully pouring down her face now as she exploded out into the room. 

Through her tears she saw multiple people stand at sudden attention, a blurry figure behind the Hokage's desk raising a hand to stop the guards positioned around the room from reacting to her sudden entrance. 

Oh man, was he in a meeting? It was one thing for Kurumi to sneak in when he wasn't doing much besides paperwork, but Mama would smack her upside the head if she had interrupted something important. She might find it funny when Kurumi apparently tried to disrespect him and Tobirama on purpose, but she'd draw the lines if Kurumi started causing problem problems. 

Then again, she sort of didn't care right now. 

At all, actually. 

Fat, messy tears dripped down her face and she scrubbed furiously at her eyes as she continued to sniffle. 

"Tree-jiji I can't find Tobi-oji anywhere and Konoha is all wrong and the Senju compound is all old and empty and I— I—" 

She did her best to blink away her tears as she tried to figure out how best to say 'this is the worst day of my life, I want to go home! I want Ojisan, I want Mama!' without sounding like a total baby. 

But as her vision was cleared by rapid blinks, she halted. 

Big, mismatched eyes stared at the stranger behind Hashirama's desk. A man, old and wrinkled and very much not the silly old tree man she had been so sure she'd find. 

Her eyes flicked rapidly over the people present in the room, finding only more strangers. 

There was a bandaged, scarred man standing behind the shriveled old imposter Hokage, just as unfamiliar as the man he stood behind.

Someone who had to be a Nara stood next to a tired looking man who looked a bit like an Uchiha, and a good handful of masked guards poised around the room. 

And they all were looking at her with confused alarm.

"You're not Hashirama." Was all she could manage to squeeze out, and the old man's brows rocketed up as several people in the room twitched. 

"I'm not, no."

"W-where's Tree-jiji?" 

Again, a small tremor rippled through multiple people in the room, the stares towards her only growing in intensity and curiosity.

Kurumi grew tense as she realized she had done the very same thing she made fun of Kagami for doing— she'd gone and rushed in without a plan and landed in hot water.

Boiling hot water. 

Her fingers spasmed as she debated going for her kunai, eyes flitting around the room for an escape. Tears still dripped down her face, but they were silent now, her sniffles suppressed by the same tension that kept her predator still, ready to bolt. 

"I'm sorry," the old man gave her a smile, though it held a sort of tension she couldn't name. "Can I ask who you are first? Then maybe we can help you find your..." He coughed politely, quirking a brow. "Tree-jiji" 

"How did she even make it all the way up in here?" Kurumi heard the Nara grumble as the Uchiha man shifted uncertainly. 

Again, her eyes flickered across those present, unsure whether or not it was safe to give her name. This looked like Konoha, was the same tower she knew, the same office she knew, but also not. 

She didn't know these people. She didn't know if they were safe. 

But... Tobi-ojisan liked to tell her it was smart to just play along when she was unfamiliar territory anyways. Especially if it meant staying on the good side of potential hostiles. 

(Mama preferred to tell her to just go for the throat when people asked weird questions, but Kurumi  was kind of outnumbered here. So. Probably not the best strategy.) 

"Hatake Kurumi." She said hesitantly, and everyone stilled. 

The Nara's eyes grew sharper, assessing her as the Uchiha besides him blinked, lips parting as if to form a question before his brow furrowed and he studied her intently. 

(Though they hadn't moved an inch since the old man raised his hand to stop them, Kurumi felt as if a few of the masked guards had taken a breath.)  

"That's certainly a name." The old man said. And while his voice was steady, his hands, when Kurumi paid attention, had pressed flat against his desk so hard that his fingers went pale. 

"Now you're supposed to introduce yourself, that's how it goes." Kurumi said, not liking the heavy stillness that had descended upon the room. 

"Ah, you're right Hatake-chan." The old man smiled and nodded, his hands leaving the desk to clasp together. "I am Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Hokage." 

"No, you're not!" Kurumi jerked back as if stung, a touch of desperation leaking into her voice as she balled her fists. 

"You're not! Why are you lying—?!!"

"I can assure you, it's not a lie." Sarutobi said, once again raising his hand, signaling for the room to continue to exist on pause. This conversation kept between Kurumi and him alone, despite their audience. 

"It is! Hashirama is the Hokage! He— He's going to be back soon, and he'll be so mad when he finds out you're pretending to be him—!" 

She stomped her foot, aware that she was throwing a tantrum in front of a room of strangers but too far gone into panic to care about it. 

"I'm sorry Hatake-chan," Sarutobi said as gently as he could. "Hashirama has not been Hokage for some decades now." 

"That's a stupid, stupid lie, this isn't funny! Stop messing with me!" She cried. "I'm sorry I snuck into Tobi-ojisan's lab I won't do it again, I promise! I'm sorry, I'm sorry just please stop this stupid, awful joke—!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that Hatake-chan, this isn't a—"

"You're lying! Show me old Tree-jiji then, bring me to him!" 

The scarred man behind Sarutobi shifted a fraction, lip curling in distaste— whether it was at Kurumi's rude interruption of this so called Hokage or the messy fit, she was throwing, Kurumi didn't know. Didn't care, really. 

"I'm sorry," Sarutobi tried to placate her, visibly hesitant. "But Hashirama-sama has been dead for—"

Kurumi let out an awful, pained whine. The kind of noise she hadn't made since she was 7 and growing out of her puppy noises and into her adult fangs. She staggered back as if struck, tears once again blurring her vision alongside messy sniffles.

Several people flinched at the ugly, raw noise that was ripped from her. Including one of the masked guards in a dog mask, who was unable to suppress a full body shudder. 

"W-Why would you s-say that?" Kurumi gasped out desperately through her sobs. "Why are you lying?"

"Maybe we should start from the beginning, Hatake-chan." The smile the old man gave her was tense, even as it held a very carefully crafted softness. "I think we're both very confused as to what's happening here. Why don't you tell me what exactly happened? You said something about your Ojisan's lab, isn't that right?" 

Kurumi wavered— She knew she shouldn't talk about Ojisan's lab. He did a lot of top-secret stuff in there, and the fact that she was sometimes allowed in it was something she knew as a privilege. 

But it— it wouldn't hurt if she was vague, right? She wouldn't mention the little secret things, like how she knew how to get past the seals locking the room, or that Ojisan often forgot to look up when he was busy, so reliant on his sensing to know when someone was approaching that he forgot the world could still move around him. 

If explaining what happened helped this stranger explain to her why he thought Tree-jiji was— was— 

Kurumi sniffled, wiping roughly at the tears in her eyes even as they still dripped down her face. She forced herself to look up, knowing that at the very least she needed to watch the people in the rooms reactions to her words. She had to do her best to read their bodies, to see if she might say anything she shouldn't. 

"I— I snuck into Tobirama-ojisan's lab," 

Minutely, people jerked at her ojisan's name. The scarred man's face spasmed, the Uchiha's shoulders raised a fraction before falling back down. The old man did his best to remain patient and still, but she saw the way his finger twitched just a hair.

The Nara was the only one who stayed perfectly contained. Watching her with the same careful stillness she sometimes saw in her Mama. The same practiced blankness that Ojisan had rather famously perfected. 

"It, it was for our game, I'm allowed, as long as he doesn't notice." She hastily defended. "And he— he was really busy working on some seal, so he didn't. I mean, till he did. And then he told me to get down, so I jumped but the seal he was working on did something, and I woke up in the same room but wrong." 

She took a breath, panting slightly after the sentence had run away with her. 

"It was all old and empty, and I— I thought maybe it was a fake lab, because Ojisan is super paranoid, and he'd totally build some sort of decoy lab to throw his enemies into." 

Sarutobi's lip twitched upwards.

"But when I left the lab, I realized the whole house was wrong, and then the whole Senju compound. And so I ran all the way here to try and meet Ojisan halfway, but, but his office was wrong too—! And then I thought that if I couldn't find Ojisan I could at least find Tree-jiji because he always knows where to find Ojisan but now you're here instead and it's all wrong and I don't know what's happening—!"

Her final shout echoed through the room, leaving her audience in silence. 

"Time travel." The Nara breathed in disbelief, his still mask finally cracking as his disbelief rippled through the room. 

"You don't really think—?" The Uchiha asked, turning to look between him and Kurumi with wide eyes. 

"The hiraishin was a space time jutsu . . ." The scarred man said thoughtfully, his gaze suddenly all the more heavy on Kurumi's shoulders in a way that made her teeth itch. 

Kurumi sniffled. "The seal did feel kind of like Ojisan's flashy-flashy teleportation jutsu." 

"The Hiraishin." The scarred man corrected, visibly disapproving. 

"Ojisan's flashy-flashy fast travel jutsu." She corrected back, giving him her biggest, saddest eyes as she scrubbed at her nose. 

"Are we really considering this? Time travel? Really?" The Uchiha asked, looking between the others in the room. 

"Stranger things have happened." Sarutobi hummed thoughtfully, finally lowering his hand. 

Kurumi hesitated. "So, I just got kicked out of my year?" 

That... That was ok.

Actually, that was kind of cool? Really cool, really, really cool. She'd time traveled. Her Ojisan had made a seal, and it let her time travel.

That was crazy!

Tree-jiji wasn't alive anymore. Apparently.

But everyone died eventually, and Shinobi didn't exactly live a long time, and to Kurumi at least Hashirama already felt pretty old. And back at the not-so-fake-after-all Senju compound, there'd been all those fake photos— real photos, Kurumi realized. And he looked happy in them, happy and older. 

And that thought alone made the idea of the dumb, happy go lucky nuisance that was her Ojisan's brother dead and buried somewhere, a little bit easier to bear. 

The compound being abandoned made sense too. After so much time, of course the Senju might shift to a new compound. They'd probably grown in size over time with the village. Maybe they'd gotten so big they went and made a whole new compound! 

A whole new compound filled with all sorts of new sneaky places to hide and hidden passages for her to find...

"It looks like it, Hatake-chan." Sarutobi nodded slowly. 

"We'll have to verify her story." The scarred man pointed out. "A Yamanaka mind walk would be best." 

Kurumi jolted. "A what!" 

"Surely there are easier ways to verify it?" The Nara asked, tilting his head in consideration. 

"But none so thorough." The scarred man countered. "Especially not when considering a story so outlandish." 

"Hold on a what??" Kurumi tried again. 

Had they gotten the Yamanaka's to join the village—!?!?? That was really cool actually, but she didn't want one in her head!

Besides that, even if she believed that she had time traveled and these guys were presumably the new big important people of Konoha, she wasn't about to let them go poking around in her mind! That was a total security risk! She knew things! 

Not a lot of things, sure, and nothing huge, but she knew she knew more than your average Konohan! She had watched over Ojisan's shoulder as he carefully painted out seals she didn't understand! She'd eavesdropped on more than one hushed conversation between Hikaku-sama and Madara-sama she wasn't supposed to hear! She knew all sorts of little secret paths and doors to slip in and out of rooms across Konoha, including the Hokage tower!

"No way!!" She crossed her arms over her chest in objection, bristling. "I'm not letting some random Yamanaka poke around in my head!" 

"That isn't up to you." The scarred man scoffed, and Sarutobi remained silent. 

"Well, I, I mean," Kurumi's eyes darted around the room, and sensing this wasn't a battle she was going to win, decided to settle. 

"Then I want an Uchiha to do it!"

The Uchiha's eyebrows rose in surprise, and even the Nara looked a bit stunned.

"If someone has to go poking around in my brain then I don't want them to be from some clan I've never seen before! For all I know this is some super crazy complicated genjutsu! So— So I want an Uchiha!"

"I wasn't aware that was something an Uchiha could do?" The Nara asked, eyeing the Uchiha who suddenly looked a bit pressed.

"It's not. Usually." 

"But it can be done." The Nara prodded.

The Uchiha made a noncommittal noise. "Under very, very specific circumstances, with the right eyes,  it can technically be done."

"Kagami!" Kurumi blurted, drawing attention back to her. 

"I want an Uchiha to do it and I want it to be Kagami!"

If he had even formed a sharingan at this point. He probably had though, right? 

It'd probably been a long time, and yeah, Kurumi called him a loser and set his robes on fire then pretended like he'd done it himself, but Kagami was... well, he was Tobi-ojisans student. His first student, his real one. And maybe Kurumi liked to make fun of him and she definitely did think he was a little crazy in the brain, but he'd be a great shinobi one day.

Just after a lot of training.

Like, a lot. 

And also probably some etiquette classes, because say what you will about Kurumi, at least when she disrespects and pisses people off, she means to do it. Something that could not be said about Kagami and his big fat mouth. 

Both Sarutobi and the scarred man looked at her like she had slapped them. 

Sarutobi has gone pale as a sheet, seemingly rendered speechless as he opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"That's... not an option, unfortunately." The Uchiha said, visibly uncomfortable and eyeing Kurumi like he was scared she might burst into tears again. 

Kurumi frowned. Had Kagami not gotten his sharingan after all? Or maybe he was just out of the village? 

"Well then I want another Uchiha, or I can just wait till Kagami gets back or whatever. There's no way I'm letting someone I don't know anything about poke my brain!" 

"I... No, I remember you now." Sarutobi interrupted, his voice faint. He rubbed absently at his mouth, eyes on Kurumi, but distant in a way that told her he wasn't truly seeing her.

"You were that Hatake girl who kept trying to set Kagami on fire."

"You can't prove anything." She said on instinct. "It's not my fault if he's so bad at a katon that when he sets himself on fire, he tries to blame me." 

A smile, faint and flickering with some sort of distant ache, rose to Sarutobi's face. 

Kurumi did not like what that expression said about wherever Kagami may be now. 

She chose not to think about too hard, but a seed of nauseous suspicion had already been planted within her. 

"He kept trying to insist you were friends, I— We," he corrected, glancing over his shoulder at the scarred man, whose face was busy doing something very complicated.

"We kept having to tell him to stop following you when you asked because you kept leading him places he wasn't supposed to be, then leaving him there to get caught." 

Ok well if Kagami couldn't keep up with her while she was sneaking around that really wasn't her fault, so. 

"Do you . . .?" Sarutobi looked at the scarred man, and Kurumi had never seen that specific expression on anyone's face before. It was torn somewhere between disbelief, a very odd, old and raw sort of nostalgia, and something similar to when Ojisan realized something he definitely regretted realizing. 

"I might." He said stiffly, and Kurumi frowned.

"I don't remember either of you old guys." 

Sarutobi snorted, waving a hand. "I doubt you would. I don't think we ever spoke directly, you were always, ah, busy."

The Nara and the Uchiha watched the ongoing conversation like they were watching a game of ball, heads swerving back and forth with undisguised interest. 

"Does this mean I don't have to get someone to poke inside my head?" Kurumi asked hopefully, and Sarutobi considered her, eyes still warm from whatever nostalgic scene he'd been remembering so affectionately.

"I suppose you can't get a better recommendation than the Hokage himself." He nodded with an almost fond sigh, and Kurumi whooped, punching her fist up into the air. 

Which was very rude actually, but she was so not in the mind set to be polite right now.

Sarutobi didn't seem to mind, still watching her with distant eyes. She didn't know what her was thinking but hey, if it meant she didn't have to get mind walked then she would take it happily. 

"Ah, I suppose then," Sarutobi motioned towards one of the masked guards standing around the room. "Hound."

"Hokage-sama" the dog masked man said, and suddenly he went from a corner of the room to right besides Kurumi.

She leaned away, startled at the sudden movement, and peered up at him with curious eyes. 

"Go get me Hatake Kakashi." 

Got bit by the art bug, here's what our annoying MC looks like 

+ some bonus doodles 

Chapter Text

Kurumi perked up instantly.

Hatake Kakashi. A Hatake from the future!

Oh man, her whole clan was from the future now! That was so cool!

She couldn't help the toothy grin that rose to her face. 

But Mama . . . She probably wouldn't be around anymore, would she? 

It's the future, she reminded herself. It sucks a lot but it's not like shinobi usually live that long. Death comes for all of us, right?

But what about the younger members of the clan? Like the twins, or Tsuki, or— 

Or little baby 'Kumo—! 

Kurumi inhaled a sharp breath, ignoring the looks she got as she brought her hands up to her grinning face. 

Hatake Sakumo, the newest member of the Hatake clan, the baby that was yet to be born but who Haruka-bachan already insisted would be a boy. Their future clan heir, if Tetsuo, the current heir said anything about it.

She ignored the dog masked guard slipping out of the room, mind racing as she tried to picture what baby 'Kumo would look like. 

Tall, obviously. All the Hatake's grew to at times obnoxiously tall heights. 

Also obviously, super strong; Hatake's were the best clan after all! Sure, there were other cool ones— The Uchiha were pretty cool, the Inuzuka were alright (even if they were kind of soft, compared to their Hatake cousins) the Senju were uhh...

Ok, so Kurumi thought the Senju were kind of lame actually. Tobi-ojisan didn't count, obviously. He was a Hatake and also objectively the coolest, strongest, fastest shinobi ever.

And Touka was pretty cool too, even if she kept trying to pick up Kurumi by her feet and swing her around till she screamed. But hey, everyone has their flaws. 

Hashirama was uhh... Kind of lame, actually. Like, really, really lame. 

Everyone said he was super strong, and Kurumi could maybe see it if she squinted. But she'd also seen him making lame kissy faces at his wife and weeping messily as he draped himself over Ojisan's work bench, smearing his ink and getting kicked out of the lab for it by a fuming Ojisan.

So it was a little hard for her to really believe it. Just a bit. 

Maybe the Senju should just try harder to be cool, Kurumi supposed. It's not that hard. 

Kurumi blinked away her thoughts as Sarutobi motioned for her to come closer to the desk.

She stepped up to him, falling in line next to the Nara and the Uchiha who were both still studying her curiously. She studied them right back, taking their blatant stares as permission to do her own rather obvious eyeing up.

They both looked awfully important. And tired, but she was pretty sure that was standard for Nara's at least. And important people in general, actually. They tended to do a lot of work after all. 

(Though maybe her frame of reference for 'important people work hard!' was a little bit biased, considering in her time they didn't have much of a choice but to work day and night if they wanted to keep the newly budding village going.) 

Maybe they were clan heads? Or just some high up guys who happened to be around when she burst in? 

What had they been talking about in here anyways? Hashirama used his office for plenty of things, but Kurumi had noticed he tended to only call people up to his office to talk when there was something important to discuss. Otherwise, he preferred to go to them instead. Did that mean they'd been talking about something important? 

Then again, different Hokage, probably a different work style. Hashirama sure hadn't had all these mask guys the last time Kurumi checked, and she was pretty sure she'd notice that kind of thing.

Or they'd notice her anyways, with how often she was in and around the tower. Especially in places she shouldn't be.

"I trust I don't have to explain why I'd like to keep the details of how Hatake-chan came to be here to you all?" Sarutobi asked, once again regaining her attention. 

Actually, Kurumi would like for him to explain. 

Sure, she could guess— something as huge and crazy as time travel would probably make a ton of people try to snatch her up to try and figure out more about how it works. Or it could be about her Ojisan, who she knew was big and important and the kind of clever that made people willing to kill to get even a scrap of his research. 

Even more important now, probably. She thought, thinking back to his face, carved in the mountain besides his brother. 

But she'd still like to know specifically why Sarutobi might want it kept hush hush. Ojisan always did say it was important to get everyone's thought process before coming to a conclusion! 

But she knew she'd already pushed a lot, and while these guys were friendly so far, they were also still strangers; She needed to make sure she stayed on their good sides. 

Resolving to play extra nice, she gathered up her manners and shook her head. "No, Hokage-sama." 

That earned her a pleased smile, as the others in the room nodded along in agreement. 

"What will the public be told?" The Nara asked, raising his eyebrows. "More than a few people will notice when a new Hatake pops out of the woodwork. And if you put her next to Hatake-san, it'll be hard to ignore the similarities."

"Hatake-chan, you like games, don't you?" Sarutobi turned to her, and Kurumi perked up. 

"Yes, Hokage-sama." 

"Well I have a proposition for you. Whenever anyone asks where you come from, I'd like for you to give them a different, conflicting story. I truly doubt anyone will leap to time travel of all things, and the conflicting rumors should muddy the water enough to throw anyone off." He waved a dismissive hand, smiling. "People will draw their own conclusions either way, my only request is not to tell the truth." 

The Nara snorted. "It does seem to work well enough for Hatake's mask." 

Kurumi practically glowed, all too eager for the idea. "I can do that!" She chirped, delighted. 

"A solid cover story would be most effective, but the confused rumors would allow for plenty of flexibility if there are any slip ups or inconsistencies." The scarred man allowed, nodding slightly. 

"It isn't like she's the right age to pose as any sort of bastard." The Uchiha pointed out, and the Nara nodded towards him. 

Kurumi tuned them out, already spinning with ideas for fake stories— raised by wolves (technically true when you think about it) Stolen at birth by aliens who finally let her go home after years among the stars; Stolen at birth by wolves and finally allowed to go home; Drifted down a river and was found by a super secret clan who died in a tragic fire and left her a quest for vengeance and her clan name.

There were so many options! She was practically vibrating just thinking about it! 

The adults in the room continued to talk as she thought over potential stories, knowing she should pay attention in case she missed anything but having just a little too much fun to really snap back to the present.

"Hokage-sama, Hatake has arrived." One of the masked guards at the door said, and instantly, Kurumi's buzzing mind fell quiet. 

Her eyes flew to the door as Sarutobi called for him to be let in, and she held her breath as she waited for the mysterious Kakashi to appear. 

A man slipped into the room. 

Tall and lithe, most of his face hidden by a mask and one of his eyes hidden by a forehead protector. It was hard to guess his age, with so much of his face hidden, but he looked young. And what little of his face she could see, set her nerves alight.

He has the same eyes as ojisan. Kurumi realized, feeling an almost buzz beneath her skin as she looked at this stranger. Her family, separated from her by decades apart. 

They weren't quite ojisan's eyes, they didn't have the same sharpness to them. The eye she could see was much more tired than she could ever remember her ojisan's eyes being, and Hatake coal-grey instead of ojisan's distinct red.

But something about him...

'He has to be descended from Haruka.' Kurumi realized. 'She's the only one close enough to Ojisan in blood to look that similar. Also... literally the only one related to him in blood.'

As soon as the thought slid into place, she realized exactly who his droopy eyes reminded her of. She nearly face palmed— of course he had to be related to Haruka, he was probably even baby 'Kumo's kid! 

Oh man. Baby of a baby. Wild.

"You called for me, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked, very much not looking at Kurumi. 

Kurumi stared at him harder, silently willing him to look her way. 

"Yes, I trust Hound explained the situation to you?" 

Kakashi nodded, and Kurumi stared even harder. Cmon, just meet her eyes for a second! She wanted to get a better view of you! 

"Hatake-chan seems to have been a little displaced," Sarutobi smiled, gesturing towards her, and still Kakashi's eyes did not shift even a fraction her way. 

"I'd like to place her in your care for the time being. It's important she's able to stay with someone even a little familiar, in such a distressing situation." 

"I... of course, Hokage-sama." Kakashi hesitated, looking as if he wanted to say something but was unsure of how to phrase it. After a moment, he nodded. "I'll do my best." 

Finally, Kakashi glanced at her. 

Kurumi blinked up at him, eyes practically shining as she took in this stranger— her family, her future. 

Kakashi looked faintly queasy. 

Probably not a good sign, but it wasn't like you met your (super cool) time traveling uhh— cousin? Aunt? —ever day, so she'd give him a pass.

Oh man did she get to ask him to call her obasan? That'd be so funny actually, she had to do that. 

Hey, hey, Kakashi you think I'm cool, right? Look at my cute hair and big eyes and awesome outfit, it's cool, right? C'monn, you know you think I'm cute, I'm the baby of the family, you know! Fall for my charms just like everyone else in the clan!

Her stare grew in intensity, Kurumi practically sparkling as she did her best to beam her thoughts into his mind. 

Kakashi looked away.  

Man.

Oh well, he's probably just overwhelmed by her super cute personality and ultra charming face. It was understandable, really. 

"Hatake-chan, would you mind stepping out into the hallway for a moment as we discuss the details?" Sarutobi asked, and while he phrased it as a question, she knew it was an order.

She for sure minded, but in the interest of playing nice she aimed her best smile at him and bobbed her head. "Ok Hokage-sama." 

Sarutobi made some sort of hand motion, and one of the masked guards stepped out of line to follow her to the door. 

She glanced back over her shoulder as she left, finding everyone but Kakashi turned to silently watch her leave. 

The Hatake's back remained facing her, the man looking resolutely forward the entire time she left. 

Kurumi stared up at her guard. He wore a cat mask, but that was all she was able to really note about him.

No, that wasn't right. 

She frowned, tilting her head and squinting as she tried to make her eyes focus on him properly. Tried to register what his hair looked like, or whether she could definitively guess their gender by the shape of their body. But nothing came. 

"Woah, cool." She muttered, squinting up at them. "Does the mask stop me from remembering anything big about how you look?" 

She got no answer from them, but then again, she didn't really need one. She tried to picture any of the guards in the room, but other than the vague recollection of a few different animals, could recall nothing else. Not even the dog masked guard, Hound, who had stood right next to her. 

"Neat."

Still, Cat remained silent, but Kurumi didn't especially care. 

She kicked her feet lightly as she waited, sitting in a chair somewhere on the lower floor of the Hokage tower. Now that she wasn't blindly running through the place, she could see some differences in the rooms they passed.

Things had been repurposed, offices shuffled around, new rooms and doorways added on. She wondered if there had been any secret little pathways added in over the years too. She supposed there was really only one way to find out. 

She glanced at Cat, frowning slightly. 

Not that she could sneak around now, not when this guy was watching her. 

She sighed, bored as she continued to kick her feet, watching as people passed her by.

She sat in a hallway, not a particularly busy one but even at its slowest the Hokage tower wasn't exactly what you'd call quiet. People came and went, most not looking her way but a couple giving her or her guard curious looks. 

She wondered what they thought of her, if any could recognize her looks as a Hatake on sight like she'd been able to do so immediately with Kakashi. 

...Why had they called Kakashi specifically? Was he their clan head? He looked kind of young for it, but again she couldn't see a lot of his face so she could be totally wrong. And if he was Haruka's grandkid, he would totally be in the running for it automatically.

Maybe he was young but was also just so good at being heir that they made him head early? 

Or maybe something had happened to the last head, and he got made head faster than usual? 

He could also be some sort of second in command, with the real head busy doing something important. Another point for him being Haruka's grandkid. Maybe Sakumo was the clan head now, and Kakashi was his heir!

Kurumi sighed, closing her eyes and knocking her head back against the wall. Man, they sure were taking their time talking about her. You know, without her being there.

She wished she could at least try to eavesdrop but again, guard. Also: the fact that she'd been moved to a lower floor entirely. Even without Cat guarding her, it'd be risky to get all the way back up there then have to rush back down again, all unseen and well timed enough not to be noticed. 

"Hey kiddo." 

Kurumi's eyes opened, the girl lifting her head up from the wall and blinking at the man suddenly standing in front of her. 

He was on the shorter side, with shoulder length brown hair and a senbon sticking out from between his lips. 

He lifted something towards her, and she glanced down at where he offered a bag of... something. 

She glanced at Cat, who didn't react, and carefully sat up straight. 

"You looked hungry." The man said cheerfully, wiggling the bag in her direction. She accepted it from him gratefully, looking down at the colorful packaging. 

'Crunch Time!' It read in a bold font, a picture of what looked like some sort of chip painted onto it in what definatley wasn't ink. She squeezed the package lightly, letting our a tiny "Oooo" at the crinkling noise it made, and ran a finger over its smooth surface. 

Oh man, what was thing made of?

"Thanks stranger-san!" She chirped, and the man nodded with a smile as she opened the package and peering down at the contents curiously. 

The same chips as the illustration greeted her, and she eagerly stuck a hand inside and fished out a chip. 

She studied it, humming as she examined its ridged surface, before tentatively licking it curiously. Ooo, salty! 

The shinobi now watched her with raised eyebrows, looking amused but a little lost as she bit into the chip, cracking it in half and causing some of it to fall back into the bag.

"Oh wow" She breathed, immediately shoving her hand back into the bag and this time bringing out a fist full of chips. "Wow, wow—!"

She them into her mouth, kicking her feet with excitement as she lit up at the taste. "Have you tried these??" She asked Cat, lifting the bag up for him to see. 

He didn't answer, but he did tilt his head to the left maybe a centimeter which she chose to take as a 'no.' 

"You're totally missing out, this is amazing!" 

"Have you never tried that brand before?" Asked the shinobi, who was very quickly rising to the top of Kurumi's 'favorite people (after time travel, of course)' list.  

"Nope! I was raised by wolves!" Kurumi said, happily kicking her legs as she went back in for another hand full of chips. 

The shinobi blinked at her in stunned silence at her declaration, his mouth falling open enough for the senbon to begin to slide out of it before he caught himself and snapped it shut. 

"You were raised by—?" 

Kurumi nodded. "Yeah, it's super sad actually, they ate my parents and stole me away when I was a baby. Hokage-sama rescued me and is helping to reunite me with my family." She clasped her hands together, aiming her biggest, saddest eyes at the man. 

"This is actually the first real human food I've ever tried..." She trailed off, ducking her head shyly. "I never knew food could taste so good." 

It was only due to her sensitive ears that she caught the faint choking noise that came from Cat. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes and had to suppress a grin as she saw the faint tremble of his shoulders, his masked face turned away from them as he did an impressive job of hiding his reaction to her words.

Hah, she knew she'd be able to get him. 

"I, um," The shinobi appeared to be at a loss for words, the senbon hanging loosely from his mouth as he struggled to regain his footing.

"I'm glad you're able to reunite with your family. I— hope that you'll come to know Konoha to be a good home." 

"Thanks!" Kurumi beamed up at him, clapping her hands together. "Kakashi seems pretty cool so far!" 

The shinobi choked. Actually choked.

The senbon fell from his lips, and he made a jerking movement towards it as it fell, like he meant to catch it before he thought better of it and let it fall to the floor without contest.

"Kakashi—?" He wheezed, not even looking at his fallen weapon as he stared at her with big eyes. 

"Yeah! Oh, sorry, I should have introduced myself! I'm Hatake Kurumi, it's nice to meet you!" 

"Shit, really?" The man blurted, then instantly paled. "Don't repeat that. I mean, fuck— shit, wait no." 

Besides her, Cat was beginning to fail to effectively suppress his trembles. Shaking slightly with silent, suppressed laughter at her shoulder. 

"I— you're a Hatake?" He finally managed to squeeze out. 

"Mhm!" Kurumi agreed patiently, absolutely eating up his shock. 

She hadn't actually thought her name would get this much of a reaction? Like, sure, the Hatake's were a pretty notable clan. They were on the small side, but they were wild and famous for it. Not to mention they were one of the very first clans to come to Konoha, arriving only a week after the Hyuuga by special invitation by her ojisan.

The 5th clan of Konoha, and one of the clans to have traveled the farthest to get there— all the way from the land of Iron. 

Had her clan grown in reputation over the years? Her grin grew just thinking about it. To get a reaction like this out of the funny shinobi, just from hearing her name alone? Heh... the Hatake clan must totally be super famous badasses.

Which was of course true no matter the year —her clan was the best— but it was so cool to see it recognized by even random shinobi off the street.

"Huh!" Was all the shinobi could seem to manage, pulling back and looking at her, really looking at her.

"I don't know how I didn't see it before, you really do look— I mean," he ran a hand through his hair, visibly trying to blink away his shock. "I guess I just didn't expect to find a mini Hatake just... Out here. Sitting in the hall." 

"It's ok," Kurumi smiled, nodding. "I totally get it." You're just overwhelmed seeing someone new from such a famous, super cool clan is all. You poor, poor guy. 

"Yeah, I." The shinobi swallowed, dropping his hand from his hair. This time when he spoke it was with a heavier air to his words than before. In a tone of voice so genuine that it even cooled Kurumi's inner giggles a fraction. 

"I'm glad you found Konoha. Or that Konoha found you. Kakashi is... he's a good guy." 

He smiled at her, and though his earlier smiles had already seemed plenty genuine, this one felt almost too real. Too soft and honest, in a way that made her squirm a little, a blush rising to her cheeks. Like when ojisan gave her a heartfelt compliment that caught her off guard and off balance.

"I hope that you can find your home here, kid. And hey, welcome to Konha." 

No longer laughing, she just looked at him. Nodding slowly with wide eyes and pink cheeks. 

"Yo, Genma!" Someone called down the hall, and the man, Genma, jerked his head away from her. 

"Shit, breaks over." His eyes widened and he whipped his head back around towards her "Shit— I mean—" He pointed at her. "Look, don't repeat that." 

Still feeling a bit thrown off by his weirdly heartfelt words, Kurumi mimed zipping her lips shut and smiled at him.

He smiled back, nodding at her then at Cat. 

"See you around kid! Expect me to swing by Kakashi's place at some point, there's no way I'm letting that guy get away with this without sharing the details." 

She giggled, watching as he left down the hall. Then giggled again, this time a touch more sinister when she realized he'd left his senbon abandoned on the floor. 

Genma was still within range to shout at to come back, but she wasn't about to pass up on a free point thing. Even when she already had her own kunai and ninja wire tucked away in her pockets.

She glanced up at Cat for a moment, and when he didn't react, leaned over in her seat to pick up the needle. 

Twirling it cheerfully around her fingers and in a much better mood than she'd been just a few minutes before, she settled in to wait. 

Chapter Text

It only took a few more minutes before Kakashi came back down to join them. 

The man nodded at Cat, his hand flicking in a way that Kurumi was sure was some kind of signal but went by too fast for her to catch. 

Cat nodded back quietly, and was gone in a blink. 

Leaving Kakashi and Kurumi alone together for the first time. 

Kurumi cocked her head, studying him curiously. Kakashi cocked his head back in the opposite direction, looking like he was doing his best to study her but unable to maintain eye contact. His eyes kept sliding away from her face, like he couldn't manage to look directly at her for too long. 

They stood like that for a few more beats, heads tilted and caught up in some sort of weird staring contest where their eyes refused to actually meet. 

That meant Kurumi was winning, right? 

"I'm Kurumi." She finally said, her head coming back up out of its tilt as she took a step back and swung her arms behind her back cheerfully. "Hatake Kurumi, obviously. Its nice to meet you!" 

"Ah. Hatake Kakashi."

Kurumi blinked at him. "Now you're supposed to say it's nice to meet be back, Kakashi!" 

"Maah," Kakashi rubbed at the back of his neck, squinting his eyes in a way that was probably supposed to convey a smile but was a little too stiff to really buy. "It's nice to meet you, Kurumi-chan." 

Kurumi grinned, and they fell into silence once again. Kakashi seemed to grow more and more awkward with each passing, silent second, but Kurumi didn't mind it at all. Finding the way Kakashi grew more and more stiff as she remained quiet more than a little funny, she just continued to smile at him. 

Finally, he spoke again. Voice cracking softly, so subtle she wouldn't have noticed if not for her extra sensitive ears. 

"I suppose we should go home then?" 

"Sure!" 

They continued to stare at eachother.

Finally, Kurumi giggled, and offered her hand to him. 

Kakashi turned from staring at her to staring at the offered hand with the expression of someone being handed a live bomb.

There was something vulnerable in his eyes, though he did a very good job at hiding it. Kurumi wondered if she'd even be able to notice if not for how similar she found his eyes to her ojisan's.

Kakashi's hand twitched before he ever so slowly extended it towards her, slipping a gentle hand into hers. She grinned up at him, fangs flashing as she squeezed his it. 

He looked away from her with a jerk of his head, and she tilted her head once again, looking at him consideringly. 

Was he shy? 

That was ok, it just meant Kurumi got to poke and prod at him till he finally got confident enough to poke back. Shy people were pretty fun to tease anyways. 

She hummed as they began the walk home, and as they stepped out of the Hokage tower she was instantly distracted by the view. 

Now that she wasn't blinded by panic and confusion, she could really appreciate this new Konoha. 

It was so lively that it took her breath away. Buildings big and small, painted with colors and signs of all shapes and sizes. Businesses and homes and people. So, so many people. Her Konoha was plenty big, plenty busy, but this was something else entirely.

This was the Konoha her ojisan had worked so hard for, that kept Tree-jiji so determined even as his hands developed an aching shake from writing all day. The Konoha that mama had told stories of wanting to see as they traveled across fire country to join. The Konoha that Madara-sama had bled his heart for, the one he told stories about in a soft voice as Kurumi sat at his side, listening patiently as he painted a picture of a place he dreamed could keep its children safe. The Konoha that so many people had traveled to seek refuge in. 

This was the peace her mama had told her they came to Konoha to find. This was the safety they were promised but many could never fully believe. 

They had done it, they had won.

Feeling oddly emotional all of a sudden, Kurumi ducked her head, trying to collect herself. She bit into her lip, blinking extra hard before she could look back up at the passing sights. 

It was so similar but so different than her Konoha. There were some buildings she could remember still being in the middle of construction in her time, now sitting proudly built. Other buildings she knew to have been around since the very first days of the village were gone entirely, or so remodeled that they were unrecognizable. Countless new, unfamiliar buildings fit between the few she did recognize. 

Odd looking silver machines filled with similar looking packages to the chips that Genma had given her were tucked into alleys. Some sort of food dispensary? She had to check that out later. 

There were a lot of civilians here too, that was pretty cool. 

Kurumi had known Konoha was already developing a pretty big civilian pool— Tobi-ojisan made sure to impress upon her that she was not allowed to poke at them the same way she might poke at anyone from a clan. They were valuable, he explained, they would become the flesh of the village as the clans became its bones. They'd have to depend on each other if they wanted the village to grow. 

But wow, she hadn't truly realized just how many civilians there would be in the future. Man, Konoha had gotten to be so big.

More than a few people took double takes as they saw her and Kakashi walking down the street, hand in hand. Almost all of the ones who did have to take a second look to process what they were seeing were in a similar uniform to Kakashi, and the few who weren't held themselves with the sort of grace that told Kurumi they were shinobi. 

Almost no civilian reactions, which she supposed was to be expected. Just how she was expected to leave civilians alone, she knew a lot of them did their best to stay out of shinobi business. 

She sent a couple of their watching big smiles whenever she caught them staring. Delighting in the way they blinked dumly at her, eyes darting between her and Kakashi. She wondered if anyone would mistake him for her dad, or maybe her brother? 

She looked up at him, squinting. 

If her guess was right about how old he was, he was around the right age to be her older brother. She'd have to remember to use that as one of her cover stories later. 

Hopefully she'd get another reaction as funny as Genma's.

Her head on a swivel as she studied everything they passed by with open fascination, it took Kurumi a while to realize they weren't heading in the direction of the Hatake compound. 

A small jolt of worry shot through her before she remembered the abandoned senju compound. 

Had . . . Had the Hatake clan grown to be so big that they built a new compound—?

Her eyes fell to the road, mind racing as a happy flush rose to her face just thinking about it. Her clan had always struggled with births. Fertility problems ran through both the men and women of the clan, making children rare and precious. 

Mama said they were cursed to be small because they were so strong and fierce that the world couldn't handle it if they grew to the same size as other clans. She had also spoken about how now that they were in Konoha, with the offered safety and medical prowess of the Senju, things would hopefully get better for them.

And baby 'Kumo's upcoming birth was sign of that. Only a little over 2 years in the village and already they were blessed with the baby theyd been praying for since Kurumi was born. There was no clearer sign to the clan than him, that they had made the right choice in coming to Konoha. 

But even with that in mind, she had never really considered that her clan could prosper so much. This was—

This really was everything.

Mama, I know you won't be here, so I will witness this prosperous future that you've always dreamed of for you. She thought resolutely, a smile playing on her lips. 

The smile paused though, as they did the same out in front of a tall building. She looked up at it, confused. 

It was like . . . someone had built houses on top of houses. What an odd building for a clan to live in. Compounds were supposed to be sprawling, with space inbetween homes. She supposed you could fit a lot of people in it, but that wasnt the point of a clan compound. It wasn't about cramming a bunch of people into one place, it was about making a home.

And it was so close to the center of the village too, packed between more shops and similar buildings of stacked houses. 

She frowned, glancing around. There were no fields or gardens to run around or farm in, no little forest to wrestle the wolf summons in. This was . . .

"This is the clan compound?" She looked at Kakashi, doing nothing to hide the judgmental look in her eyes. 

"Maah, not exactly?" Kakashi still didn't look at her, which was suddenly no longer as funny as it had been just a few minutes ago.

"This is where I live." He paused, and seemed to realize that Kurumi didnt really understand what she was looking at. "It's a uhh, an appartment building." He tacked on weakly.

Kurumi looked from the building to him and back again. 

"This place?" 

Had Kakashi moved out of the compound? That was . . . a choice, she guessed. A weird one— Kurumi couldn't even begin to imagine leaving the compound herself. If she wanted to leave her mom's house she'd just ask to build a home of her own, not leave the entire compound behind. 

Was he fighting with the family? Maybe he just wanted space? 

But why would Sarutobi ask her to stay with a Hatake who didn't even live in the compound? Kurumi would much rather preffer to stay with whoever was there, instead of in this weirdo building. 

". . . ok." She said carefully, now a little suspicious. 

Kakashi hesitated, before gently tugging her along with her inside of the building. She continued to study it, curious. The first room was some sort of common area, she assumed. Little mail boxes lined up on the wall. 

Was this how many families there were in the building? That was kind of neat. A quick glance at the many numbers and names written on the mailboxes gave her nothing. There were a few clan names she recognized, but they were few and far between. 

Maybe moving out of the clan compound was common now adays? 

Tree-jiji did like to talk about how he'd love it if everyone could start living together in a real mix. 

Still, Kurumi couldn't see the appeal. 

They took the stairs, Kakashi seeming to grow slower and slower with each step. His dread at whatever conversation they'd inevitably have to have when they got to his house rubbing off on Kurumi as they went along. 

Still though, she kept a tight hold of his hand. Unwilling to let go. 

Finally, the duo stood in front of a door. 

Kurumi glanced up at Kakashi, who finally seemed to gather the strength to meet her eyes— even if it was only for a second. 

He cleared his throat awkwardly, reaching his free hand into his pocket and fishing out a key. He stared at it for a little bit too long before he slowly unlocked the door and lead her in. 

Finally letting go of his hand, Kurumi surveyed his house. His 'apartment'?

It didn't feel very lived in. Had he only recently moved in? 

There was a simple table set up in the living room, an almost depressingly clean looking kitchen, and not very much else of note. 

Kurumi flicked out her tongue, inhaling the scent of a room left to sit alone for at least a few days. The air was stale and when she rubbed her fingers along one of the kitchen counters, they came back dusty. 

The most notable thing about the room that even implied someone was around was the faint smell of dog. 

This was . . . kind of depressing, actually. 

"I'll uhh . . ." Kakashi bustled off down a hall, and she followed him curiously. Poking her head into a bedroom as he made for a closet.

The room was much better than the rest of the house. Here felt lived in, some clothes scattered across the floor, a desk in the corner and a bookshelf at the wall filled with colorful spines. She eyed them with interest, she'd never seen a book with such a colorful cover before. 

When she glanced at the window, she noted the scuffs on the sill. Did Kakashi just not use the rest of his house? Huh. 

She considered that thought for a second. That would have to mean that no one really visited that often. Maybe he was a more territorial kind of Hatake, didn't like people coming into his house.

That could also maybe explain why he was being so weird about her. Alongside being shy, that is. 

Kakashi emerged from the closet with a bedroll. 

"You can take my bed, I'll sleep on the floor till we figure something else out." He explained, turning to her. "We'll need a toothbrush for you, and food. I don't really . . . I mean, my kitchen is kind of . . ." He sighed, fidgeting with the bed roll.

"Why can't we just stay at the clan compound?" Kurumi asked, finally voicing the thought that had plagued her the entire trip here. 

The air in the room seemed to still. 

"Maah, Kurumi-chan. Thats not really an option." Kakashi said with a sort of forced lightness, his eye doing that painful little squint smile.

"Why not?" 

Something in his smile seemed to grow brittle. 

"It's just not, Kurumi-chan."  

"But why."

Kurumi was starting to get nervous for real now, the dull sound of white noise beginning to fill her ears as the silence between them stretched on. Things she had ignored or reasoned away trickling back into her mind, her own earlier words of how short the life expectancy was for a shinobi coming back to haunt her. 

"Is— Was the clan compound damaged in some way?" She tried, a hint of something almost desperate leaking into her voice as she tried to pry an answer, any answer out of the man before her. "And so the Hatake's, they're all scattered around the village till we can make a new one?" 

Kakashi didn't reply, seeming frozen in place. 

"Then— Then it's because you're fighting with the clan right now, right? You left and you're too embaressed to go back so you're staying here?" 

"Kurumi,"

"Why can't we just go back to the clan compound?"

"Because there's nothing there to go back to." 

Kurumi stepped back, the dull roar in her ears growing louder as something cold and heavy settled into her stomach. 

"W-what?" 

"I'm— I'm sorry, Kurumi, the Hatake's are . . . I'm all that's—" 

Kurumi didn't stay to listen to the rest of his confession. The door slammed behind her as she rocketed out of Kakashi's apartment, the man shouting for her as she fled. 

That couldn't be right, the Hatake's couldn't just be— be—

Kurumi raced from rooftop to rooftop under the slowly setting sun, golden light painting her path as she headed in the direction she could best guess the compound to be in. 

The streets were largley unfamiliar but there was just enough there left from her Konoha to get a sense of direction. 

Soon she emerged from the village buildings, entering the stretch of empty land marked as belonging to the Hatake. Undisturbed save for the stone road that wrapped its way through the grass. 

She continued to run at full speed, braids whipping through the air and muscles pushed to their absoloute limit as she tore down the road. 

Finally she saw it, the entrance gates to the Hatake compound just up ahead. She let out a sob she hadn't known she was holding as she nearly slammed into the wooden gates. 

The Hatake mon, a 9 squared diamond, shone proudly where it was carved and inlaid in silver on the dark gates. 

Just as it should be. 

Not bother to open the gate itself, she pracically flew over the walls, leaping down only to fall to her knees at the sight that greeted her. 

An old, overgrown yard. Not nearly as bad as the Senju compound had been, but abandoned all the same. 

"No, no," She cried, flitting towards the buildings spaced between the homes. 

There were only 4 of them, the same 4 homes of her time. No new buildings had been added to accommodate new family, no extra space had been made to fit a growing clan. 

She'd been wrong, the Hatake's hadn't outgrown their home. They'd crumbled and died in it instead. 

Kurumi fell to her knees in front of her own house, surrounded by the remains of her mama's garden. Now wild and untamed, the plants prickling her hands and knees and scraping up her arms and legs as she fell down into them. 

She let out another awful, ragged whine. More animal than human, more dog than girl. 

It rang through the abandoned yard, her own mournful cries returning to her in echoes. 

Someone landed in the yard behind her, but she paid them no attention. Too busy calling herself ten times of idiot, naive, stupid.

What had happened to her clan? What had happened to kill them all, to whittle them down to just one lonley man with a brittle smile and tired eyes? 

She weeped into the nettles and wild strawberries beneath her, shaking with the force of her tears. 

There was a rustle as behind her, Kakashi took a single, hesitant step towards her, then retreated threefold. 

"What happened to them?" She squeezed out between tears, still crying into the greenery. 

There was a heavy silence, accented only by her continued wet gasps. 

"I don't really . . . Dad died when I was young. Really young." Kakashi's voice was raw and far away, pulled from his lips almost despite himself. This, Kurumi knew immediatley, was not a conversation he had ever had to have before. 

"A lot of our history was lost with him. All I know is most of the Hatake's died in the first shinobi war. It was just him and his mom, then it was just him and me." 

He made an odd sort of choking noise, almost but not quite in the same vein as her own pained whines. 

"And now it's just me." 

"Wrong."

Kurumi lurched up, jerking towards him with a fierceness that overtook her despair. 

"Now it's you and me." She swayed, still on her knees as she looked up at him. 

"I— I'm going to go back home, I know I am, but while I'm here it's you and me, got it? We're the last Hatake's, not you. You arent alone anymore, I wont let you be. A Hatake is never alone. We have eachother and the woods and the forests, even when theres nothing left."

'It isn't that family is clan,' whispered the voice of her mama in her ears, just moments before she met her ojisan for the first time. 'it's that clan is family. And family is everything to us, Kurumi. Never forget that.'

Kakashi seemed to have finally found what it took to meet her eyes, and now he couldn't manage to look away. Struck dumb and speechless in a way he hadn't been in years. 

"Also your house sucks, were staying here." Kurumi demanded, and Kakashi made a choked out noise of protest 

"It doesn't have to be in your house, we can stay in mine." She added quickly, finally stumbling up on to her feet. 

Still, Kakashi hesitated.

"I'm not asking!" She huffed, swaying forward and catching his hand as she tugged him towards her house. 

He went easily, at this point seeming physically incapable of disobeying her once she latched onto his hand. A secret weapon she'd make sure to file away for future use. 

"I— I want my stuff, y'know. I wasn't even wearing any of my things with the Hatake mon on it when I got here! If we're really all—" her voice cracked and cut off.

"—I can't let the village losers forget exactly what kind of clan we are! So I, I want something with the mon on it to wear." 

Kakashi nodded slowly, hesitantly, as they entered her house. 

It wasn't actually too bad in here? She looked around and spotted none of the damage she'd noticed in the Senju compound. 

It was overgrown with plants, old and a little crumbly, but overall . . . She could work with this. 

She sneezed suddenly as the breeze coming through the open window brought dust up to her nose, squeezing Kakashi's hand as she did by accident. He made no move to indicate it had bothered him but she gave him another softer squeeze as an apology anyways, tugging him along. 

"That's the kitchen! Mama says I'm not allowed in there to cook without permission because I keep setting things on fire. But ojisan says if I burning down the house is what it takes for me to learn then she should just let me do it. I can totally cook though! I'm a great cook! I just don't like doing it that much, y'know. So I set a fire or two and boom, now I don't have to. But also I'm not really allowed to, so."

"Oh! Oh! That's mama's study room! Ehhh let's not go in there, mama would probably feel me breaking in and her ghost would pop out of the pure lands to come shake me for it." 

"Here's the dinning room! We don't actually use it a lot, we like to eat out on the porch or in the yard with everyone else whenever possible." 

She dragged the quiet Kakashi up the stairs, turning to the very first room. 

"And here's my room, come on!" 

She ducked into it, delighted to see that very little had changed since she was last there. Although, huh, it did look like all of her pictures had been moved. 

Weird but whatever. 

She let go of Kakashi's hand as he glanced around, taking in the room. An odd look was beginning to rise to his face, but she ignored it. 

She said very little had changed, but there was still the obvious; It had gotten old. Her pale blue sheets were now more white than anything, her desk and bookshelf looked half eaten by wood bugs. And she suspected that if she actually tried to take any of the books off of her shelf, they'd be more likley to tear in her hands than flip open. 

Kurumi ignored the shelves and bed and desk, going for her closet. Opening it up eagerly she found different clothes than what she was used to— duh, obviously she'd grown. 

There were a few boxes of things she didn't remember keeping there, and suddenly eager to see what gifts her future self may have left her.

She opened one up and let out a happy little humm as she was greeted by little trinkets and clutter she must have packed away for space. And on top of it all, was her missing photos. 

The top photo is what grabbed her attention, and she picked the old, stiff photo up with careful hands. 

Her own smiling face stared back up at her, a happy flush on her cheeks as she grinned toothily into the camera, flashing double peace signs. She looked older, but not by that much. Maybe 16? She absently fingered her own braided hair as her eyes dragged across the low, thin ponytail elder her sported. It was definatley a chlice, she must have cut off a lot of volume to get it that thin, but it was cute. 

Her eyes turned from her to the man next to her in the photo. Inhaling a breath as she saw Madara-sama. 

He looked . . . happy. Still tired, ever present dark circles under his eyes. Worn down by grief and time, but just a little bit lighter than the Madara she was used to seeing. The quiet, violent man who ran off of spite and fury but would never ever raise a hand against her. The one so many people warned her away from, but who she enjoyed trying to approach like he was some wild cat. Not something to tame, but something to try and catch the interest and approval of. With lots and *lots* of time. And effort. And little smug smirks sent ojisan's way from Madara-sama whenever she was extra respectful to him and disrespectful to ojisan. 

Kurumi and Madara, Konoha, yr XXXX read her own handwriting, looping across the back of the photo. 

"Huh." She mumbled, flipping the photo over again to stare at their faces. Madara was giving the camera one of his rare smiles, the kind he usually only ever gave open air when especially nostalgic. Never one she'd seen aimed directly towards her. But here he was, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, flashing his own lazy peace sign to match her much more energetic ones. 

"Hah," She whispered to the photo, dragging a finger across its glossy surface. "Take that nonbelievers, I did get him to smile in the end."  

"Kurumi?" Kakashi asked hesitantly, and Kurumi jumped. 

"Haha sorry! Oh man, these are old huh?" 

She looked down at the other photos and debated going for them next, but . . . no, the one with Madara had already made her feel so off balance and she'd cried more times today than she'd ever cried in her life.

She didn't really want to start again. 

She carefully fit the photo into her pocket, still off balance enough that she didn't want to share it with Kakashi just yet. Not till she had a moment alone to recollect herself. 

She began to look through her closet, shoving aside clothes as she looked for something with their clan symbol on it. They were all old, but then again what had she expected? 

She made a face as she took a couple out of the closet, squinting at the moth eaten cloth, thinned our by time. 

Finally she found something half usable, a dark shirt similar to the one she was already wearing, but this one with the Hatake mon on the back. 

She hummed, pleased, and brought it up to her chest to compare if it'd fit. 

"Oh." 

She looked at the turtleneck shirt in her hands. It was sewn to be skin tight, fitting her form exactly. 

"Oh."

She looked up at Kakashi, who watched her with sad eyes. He'd already realized it, probably the second they had stepped into her room. 

"It fits." She said quietly, and then carefully set the shirt back into her closet. 

She hadn't grown to be very old at all, had she? 

The photo in her pocket suddenly felt all the more heavy, her own face smiling up at her. 15 years old. Had she died soon after the photo was taken? Had she survived another year after? Two years? 

"I changed my mind." 

Kurumi didn't turn to look at Kakashi, staring instead at the boxes of photos. Wondering if she'd find more pictures of her even older than the one in her pocket. If she'd find the answers to her questions there. 

She felt sick. 

"Staying at my house is a dumb idea, this place is probably haunted anyways. We should use another house. Maru-obasan's maybe." 

She jerked towards Kakashi, forcing a smile onto her face as she extended an expectant hand. 

This time, Kakashi didn't hesitate when he placed his own back into hers.

"You'll like her house, she always had the best garden. We'll have to fix it up a bit though! But that'll be fun, right? Do you like building things?" 

"I've never really tried before."

Kurumi nodded "Me neither! We'll just have to learn together, right? The Hatake dream team, house fixer extrordinaires!" 

Kakashi gave her an attempt at an eye smile, and this one looked a little bit more real than all the others he'd given her so far.

"We have to stay at my apartment at least until the house is safe enough to sleep in." He warned, and Kurumi rolled her eyes. 

"I guess that's ok."

She kind of didn't think she wanted to stay here tonight anyways. Just tonight though. Later . . .

As they stepped out onto the porch and into the setting sun, Kurumi paused. 

"Do you think . . ." She hesitated as Kakashi came to a stop besides her. "Can we stay to watch the sunset?" She asked softly, staring out at the overgrown gardens.   

"Sure." Kakashi replied, just as quiet. 

Kurumi sunk to the porch steps, watching as Kakashi hesitated over her, standing awkwardly for a moment before she tugged him down with her. 

Her tears all dried up after what felt like the single longest day of her life, Kurumi breathed in a heavy breath. She released it slowly, doing her best to focus on the distant sound of chirping birds and rustling leaves.

Beams of light the color of spun gold blanketed the wild yard in shades of red and yellow. Something creaked lightly in time with the wind in one of the other houses. 

Kakashi's hand was warm in hers as they both looked out over what was once their clan's home. 

"You know," Kurumi finally said after a moment. "It was kind of a dick move that Sarutobi made you have to be the one to tell me this." 

Kakashi flinched.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I just . . . I dunno, I'd just be really upset if my whole clan was dead and then some random long lost cousin showed up and I have to be the one to tell them. Like, make someone else do it, you know." 

A beat passed in silence, before Kakashi finally let out a painfully soft, aching, "Yeah." 

Kurumi sighed softly, leaning towards Kakashi. The man stiffened as she lightly thumped into his arm, her head settling against his shoulder. 

Neither of them spoke, and after a solid few minutes had passed, Kakashi finally relaxed. He didn't lean into her like mama would have, but he didn't push her away either. 

ah, Kurumi  thought, sleepy and smug Already falling for my charms I see. I told you I'd get you.

Chapter Text

"I'm telling you man, she's definatley interested." 

"Yeah, in cutting your dick off maybe." 

"Jealous words from a jealous man." Izumo sighed sadly, and Kotetsu kicked him from under the table. 

Around them, the clattering of plates and cups and chattering of happy people enjoying the quieter hour of the bar filled the air. With the sun slowly setting outside, the bar was filled with golden light that only helped further set the pleasant mood. 

The perfect atmosphere for the end of a day off well spent. Kotetsu thought with a lazy grin. 

"Isn't it a bit early for you boys to be drinking?" A voice called, and both of the men turned to see Kurenai, still dressed in her jounin blues, making her way towards their table. 

Kotetsu raised his drink in greeting, grinning at her as Izuno gave her a grin of his own. "It's never too early for a good drink." 

"—And we're celebrating!" Kotetsu nodded along with another cheerful raiss of his glass. 

"Celebrating what?" 

"A day without work!" 

They both cheered, downing their glasses in unison as Kurenai rolled her eyes and slid into the booth seat across from them. 

"Don't suppose you'll let me in on your celebration then, even if I did have to work today." 

"The more the merrier!"

"What, did they call you over to the tower?"

"Yeah," Kurenai rolled her eyes, getting comfortable in the seat as she reached for the basket of fried food between them. "Just some quick paperwork but still a paiinn."

Kotetsu slid the basket further towards her, and she hummed in appreciation. 

"Hah, glad to see that in the end, we all get saddled with paperwork." Izumo grumbled, and Kotetsu rolled his eyes. "No one is ever really immune, no rank can keep you safe." 

"They made him redo his mission paperwork 5 times last week and he's still mad about it." 

"That mission desk jerk has a grudge against me, I'm telling you—!" Izumo slammed his hand against the table, immediatley up in arms. 

"He's always plenty nice to me." Kotetsu shrugged, and Izumo made a face. "Well that's because, you know," he made a vague gesture towards all of Kotetsu, and Kotetsu looked down at himself, confused. 

"I don't know?" 

"Fucking," Izumo glared at his cup, suddenly red for some reason. "Nevermind." 

Kurenai snickered across from them, turning away from where she'd flagged down a server to order them a new round of drinks. 

"That reminds me," Kurenai leaned towards them conspiratorial. "Have you guys heard any rumors about Kakashi latley?"

"Hatake?" Izumo clarified. 

"Is there another Kakashi I don't know about?"

Izumo shrugged as Kotetsu tried to think about it. 

"I mean, not really? Actually I don't think I've heard many rumors involving him at all recently." 

The Konoha gossip mill was a fearsome beast, with separate circles for civilian and shinobi rumors, then even more circles within circles when it came to ranks. Kakashi Hatake had been a real hot commodity in just about every gossip circle of Konoha at one point — but it'd been some years since then. Years spent with the man seeming to do his best to avoid any public anything at all. 

The last rumors Kotetsu could remember hearing about the guy was all that 'friend-killer' stuff a few years back. That one had lingered for a while. 

Nasty buisness, and he had no idea how true it was but he tended to take anything from the rumor mill with a healthy dose of skepticism. 

Anyways, it wasn't like he knew the guy personally. Though he knew Kurenai did, which brought up the point—

"Are you looking for something specific, or?" 

Kurenai just hummed thoughtfully, leaning back in her seat as she tapped her fingers to her lips. "Maybe."

"If you want rumors," Izumo said, twirling a straw absently. "You should ask Genma. That guy always knows something." 

"Ohoho, and why exactly do you think I'm here?" 

"What do you . . . ?" 

As if summoned by them mentioning him, the very man walked through the door of the bar. Immediatley, Kurenai was on her feet, waving cheerfully to get his attention. 

"Genmaa!! Over here, I saved you a seat!" 

Genma looked confused for a moment, then grinned and made his way over. 

"Hey, fancy seeing you here, huh?" He chuckled, and Kurenai clapped her hands together happily. 

"I know, what a coincidence! And we were just talking about you too!"

Kotetsu and Izumo looked at eachother with matching expressions and raised eyebrows. 

"Come on, come on!" Kurenai pat at the space besides her in the booth, scooting over as Genma slipped down next to her. 

"Bit early to start drinking, isn't it?" The man asked, glancing at Kotetsu and Izumo's now mostly empty cups. 

They both just raised their glasses, clinking them together with amused smiles before knocking back the last of their drinks. 

"So," Kurenai demanded, clicking her nails against the table and leaning in just a little too close into Genma's space. "Hear anything interesting about Kakashi latley?"

"Maybe. Maybe not." Genma said, leaning away carelessly with a wave of his hand. "Depends on what you classify as interesting."

"You know exactly what I classify as interesting, which is how I know that you know exactly what I want to know more about." 

"Ahah, but good information comes with a price, my good lady." 

Kurenai's smirk sharpened into a sharks grin as right on schedule, the server was by with the drinks she'd ordered. All 4 of them, including Genma's usual set right out in front of him. 

"Well then," Kurenai motioned towards the cup. "Drink up." 

Genma gave the drink a dry look, before cocking his head towards the still smugly smirking Kurenai. "Alright, that was pretty smooth." 

Kotetsu snorted into his own drink, which he happily gulped down. Free drinks and a show, this day was getting better and better. 

"Alright, so there might be a kid." 

Never mind the drink was a bad idea. 

Kotetsu choked on his beer, having to set it down as he wheezed through the burn of alcohol gone down the wrong pipe. Izumo was no help, hacking out bits and pieces of a half chewed fry he'd choked on himself. 

"Hatake's pregnant?" Was the first thing he managed to blurt out, before realizing that. Didn't really fit. Literally.

Everyone looked at him. 

"I . . . no. No, Kotetsu." Genma just kind of looked at him with vuagley disappointed eyes. 

Kotetsu put his face in his hands in shame.

"A kid?" Kurenai prodded, whipping her face back around to stare at Genma intensely. "Is it his."

Genma swirled his drink around lazily, clearly having fun with this.

"Dunno. Maybe, maybe not." 

"She looked like him." Kurenai mumbled, back to tapping thoughtfully at her lips with manacured nails. 

"So you saw her then?" 

"Yeah, Kakashi was walking her through town earlier. They were holding hands Genma, I thought I was hallucinating, almost walked into a wall." 

"That's— Shit, that's kind of cute." 

"I know!" She tossed her hands up in defeat. 

"Wait so someone . . . gave? Hatake a kid? Or am I misunderstanding?" Izumo asked, finally recovering from his near death experience of choking on a fry. 

"Does the kid actually look like him?" Kotetsu asked curiously. 

"Oh yeah, enough that even without coming close I could tell. Maybe I wouldn't have noticed if I'd seen her alone but standing next to him? Hatake all the way through." 

"Well she is a Hatake." Genma admitted, and immediatley Kurenai was back on him. 

"Fuck, Genma. Do you think she's a bastard?"

"But of Hatake or of the White Fang?" Izumo asked, and silence descended on the table. 

"She looked young from what I saw, but I mean—" Kurenai hesitated, suddenly looking a little unsettled. "She wasn't that young. If she's Kakashi's, I mean . . . He'd have to have been really young when he had her."

Genma looked similarly unsettled. "He was out in the field a lot younger than he should have been. There's a lot of room for things to go wrong there, especially at that age." 

"The Hatake's don't have a bloodline limit though, do they? So there's no real reason for line theft there." Kotetsu tried to offer. 

"It's not always about line theft though, is it?" Izumo said somberly, and a heavy silence blanketed the table. 

". . . I mean, she could be bastard kid of the White Fang, right?" 

Genma's conflicted face only grew more so as he slowly shook his head. "I don't know if the ages would match up. She looked 12, tops. There's a good chance he'd have been dead by the time she was born. Or— fuck, how long ago was his death now? I . . ." He shook his head.

"Nevermind." 

Again, silence. 

Genma shook his head again, this time with vigor, and grabbed his drink, taking a big, long gulp. When he slammed it back down into the table, he was slightly flushed. 

"Doesn't matter either way, I can tell you two things and one is that she's a Hatake and the other is that Kakashi is apparently her new guardian." 

He perked up. "Oh right, and that Yamato will know more." 

"Kakashi's shadow?" Kurenai asked, curious. "The one with the . . ." She made a quick gesture that both Kotetsu and Izumo politely ignored. 

"Yeah, that's the one. He was standing guard with her while she waited for something in the tower. Was probably on duty during whatever conversation they had to have about her too." 

"Man, I wonder where's she been all this time? Think the mom was hiding her?" 

"Oh fuck right sorry, I know three things." Genma pointed at them, narrowing his eyes. 

"Wolves."

"Wolves?"

"Yeah, she said she was raised by wolves."

"You're fucking with me."

"No ok, hear me out, hear me out guys," 

"I'm hearing, I'm hearing, please continue."

"She said the wolves ate her parents and stole her away to raise as their own." 

"You're fucking with me."

"Parents? Plural?" Kurenai asked carefully, and Genma paused. 

"Plural, yeah, shit. That slipped me by in the shock of it I think"

"What are the odds there are— or were," Izumo grimaced. "Some offshoot branch of the Hatake family out there?" 

"Not impossible, I think? They were a real clan once, right?" 

Kotetsu blinked. "Were they? I kind of thought they used to be civilians or something, before the White Fang." 

"No way, the Hatake's were huge once." 

"No shit?" 

"Yeah, they were— fuck," Genma squinted into his cup, now well and truly flushed from his drink. For a guy sent on so many honeypot and information gathering missions he was a bit of a lightweight, huh? 

"6th? Is that right? 6th-ish clan to come to Konoha, way back when. It's not really taught anymore since they died off so fast and lost relevancy, but they were decently important, wayyy back in the day. Had some sort of deal with the Senju." 

"Nerd." Kurenai snorted, but she looked thoughtful. 

"Hey, this sort of thing is important!" Genma pointed at her. "This kind of history gets buried so fast, it's crazy." 

"But why though?" Kotetsu asked. 

"I mean," Genma frowned. "It's kind of complicated. It's a whole politics thing, you know? Every few years they get together and talk about what gets taught in school. All the clans have say and all the big ones wanna make sure that everyone remembers who was there first so there's a lot of pushing on how to split the importance among them. So when a whole clan up and falls off a cliff . . ."

"There's no one left to advocate for them getting taught about." Izumo finished, looking unsettled.

"Damn." 

Genma shrugged. "That's just how it is, really. Happened to the Uzumaki's, happened to the Hatake's; Would have happened to the Senju too, if the Hokage was any less sentimental about it." 

"And it's not like they teach a lot about history in the first place, do they?" Pointed out Kurenai with a sigh. "Most kids learn that stuff at home, if they're clan brats." 

"Pour one out for all the civilian losers with the disadvantage once again." Izumo sighed, and he clinked glasses with a cheering Kotetsu and Kurenai as Genma, the only clan brat among them, snorted into his cup.

"Shit though, really. Kakashi as a what, a dad? Wild." Kurenai said as she pulled back.

"Do you think he'd be a bad one?" Kotetsu asked curiously. "I don't think I've ever had a single conversation with the guy personally, but the rumors do paint him pretty uhh . . ." 

'Friend killer Kakashi' was only one unflattering nickname among the many he'd heard over the years. And while Kotetsu tried not to pay attention to rumors, well, they did have to come from somewhere right?

"That guy?" A complicated look crossed Kurenai's face. "I think he might be allergic to kids, to be honest. He's probably more likley to get hurt than the kid is, in this." 

"Huh." 

Friend killer Kakashi, brought to his knees by a toddler. 

. . . There were people who'd pay to see that, actually.

"Hey," Genma said, setting down his cup. "Say what you will about him but I know what I think." 

"And? Want to share with the class?" Kurenai nudged him. 

"Kakashi's a good guy. And yeah this is probably going to be so fucking messy—"

"Oh that I think we can all agree on."

"—but Kakashi will do what he always does. His best." 

"That guys never met a mission he wouldn't rather kill himself on than see fail." Kurenai allowed with a dry, faintly dissaproving tone. 

Izumo made a face. "Does that imply the kid is gonna kill him or he's gonna kill himself for the kid?" 

"Isn't that the same thing?" Kotetsu blinked. 

"What? No, not at all."

"I feel like it is?"

"Ok well you're drunk."

"Fuck you, you're drunk too." 

"I'd believe it if someone told me Kakashi tried to off himself because he failed at cooking his kid eggs in the morning." Gemna mumbled absently into his drink, and Kurenai let out an ugly snort.

"Oh my god don't say that." 

"Oh sage does he even know how to cook? Does he know how to feed a child, Kurenai?" Genma jolted up from his slump, suddenly looking panicked. "That kids going to starve—"

"Slow down there mamma bear," Kurenai pressed a hand into his shoulder, easing him back down into his seat as she sipped at her drink, not even looking at him. "I'm sure it'll be fiiine. He takes care of those dogs of his well enough, doesn't he?"

"Ninken and children are a little different, Kurenai."

"Shit, are they?"

"I am begging you to never procreate." 

Kurenai sniffed. "I'll procreate all I want."

"Then I'll pray for whatever poor schmuck you manage to tie down long enough to bribe into making that baby." 

"Fuck you! I'll have you know I'm a hot commodity I've got lines of people wanting to pop a baby in me!" 

"Well I don't see any of them." 

Kurenai shook him as she staggered to her feet, using his shoulder as leverage as she went. Ignoring the "Hrrk—" that left Genma as she used him as her hand rail.

"Woah, headrush." She mumbled, regaining her footing as she looked around the bar just in time to see a few new people walk in. 

"YO ASUMA!" She shouted across the bar, and Asuma's head swerved their way. "COME MAKE A BABY WITH ME!" 

Asuma walked straight into a table. 

Plates and cups flew to the floor and several people shouted as Asuma staggered back. His arms wrapped around his middle where he'd slammed straight into the side of the table. 

Voices began to be raised as the angry patrons who's table he'd gone and knocked over stood.

Yeah, Kotetsu thought with another happy sip of his drink. He leaned into Izumo as they both snickered, watching Kurenai approach a mortified Asuma with near deadly intent.  

The perfect way to end a day off. 

Chapter Text

When Kurumi wakes up the next morning, she isn't alarmed by the strange bed or even stranger room. 

She doesn't immediatley recognize where she is, but she's always been the type to sneak into different people's homes and collapse onto their couches and beds. Almost no one was safe from her, she'd done it to every Hatake, ojisan included, a very memorable time in Touka's house that ended with her being dragged out of her peaceful slumber by her ankles and shaken around, and an even more memorable time when she scared Kagami into screaming when he woke up in the morning and found her passed out in his closet.

That was a funny one. 

So yes, while she didn't know where she was, that was nothing new. 

Till she remembered.

Kurumi slowly drew Kakashi's blankets up over her head, balling her hands into fists around the covers as she rolled over to press her face into the pillow. 

"ARGGGGGGGH!" 

That was a little bit better. 

Come on Kurumi , snap out of it! 

She sat up in bed and slapped her faces lightly, trying to motivate herself. 

Focus on how crazy this is! How cool! You're in the future now! There's a whole village out there to explore! Tons of people and clans you've only ever heard of! 

For her own sake she should probably just assume everyone she knows is dead at this point. She couldn't keep running head first into tragedy and loss just because she held out hope that people she knew would still be around. 

You're allowed to run into a glass door once, but after the second time you need to just needed to learn to keep an eye out for glass. 

So yeah. Everyone's dead, just go with it. Mama and and ojisan and Madara-sama and little baby 'Kumo and those annoying Hyuuga brats she kept getting into fist fights with and Kaga—

Ah. 

Kagami is totally dead, isn't he. Not even hypothetically, he was dead dead, for sure. 

Kurumi thought back to how everyone had gotten shifty when she'd brought up Kagami back in the Hokage's office and groaned. How could she have missed that.

Ok well she was pretty distressed actually, to be fair, but still.

Her head found it's way into her hands as she thought of the boy. Kurumi...

Look it's not that she liked Kagami but he was...

...

Kurumi hoped he got to go out in some big, massive battle. Kurumi hoped he got to be the hero in someone else's story he always talked about being one day. A real blaze of glory, just like every shinobi kid dreamed of going out in. 

Her hands shook faintly where they were still clenched in the sheets. Kurumi took a deep breath to steady herself, and opened her eyes back up. 

Alright. New day, new adventure. 

Everyone was dead, but this was the future. They'd all be alive when she got back. Alive and waiting for her. 

So come on Kurumi, let's enjoy this field trip while it lasts. 

Kurumi slipped out of the bed, patting it lightly in thanks for its honorable service. She stretched as she left the room, glancing around for Kakashi but not seeing him anywhere. She'd slept for longer than usual, had he maybe had to go do errands? 

"Kakashi?"

"Hello!" 

Kurumi jumped at the unfamiliar voice. She whirled around to find a tiny pug in a uniform matching Kakashi's sat in the middle of his living room, looking at her. 

"Oh! Hi!" She blinked at the dog, stepping forward and crouching to get on a better level with him. "Are you Kakashi's ninken?" 

But he was so small? And also a dog instead of a wolf, like the traditional Hatake summons were. 

Well, technically 'traditional Hatake summons'were just canine, but it'd been a long time since there was a dog summoner in the family. 

Not as cool as wolves, but . . . Kurumi examined the pug.

. . . Still pretty cool, actually. Sure wolves would be cooler, but dogs were pretty great. 

"Indeed! I'm Pakkun, care to touch my paws?" 

Such a cute dog with such a gruff voice! Kurumi giggled, and instantly up the charm. 

"I'd be honored to, Pakkun-san!" 

Pakkun nodded in approval, lifting a teeny tiny paw towards her. She cooed in delight, squishing his little paw pads as he continued to speak. 

"Kakashi went out for groceries, after I reminded him that puppies like you need to be fed real food and not whatever crap he eats." 

"Oh! Do you know when he'll be back?"

"Whenever he finds the courage I guess." Pakkun snorted.

"Oh, right. And he left you something." The pug looked at her consideringly for a moment before he hopped up onto the kitchen counter and pointed a paw towards something folded up neatly next to him. 

Kurumi perked up, following him over to the counter and prodding the bundle of cloth. 

She couldnt help the interested noise that escaped her when she unraveled it. It was a haori, one half blue and the other a plain white. It looked kind of big, but it was meant to go over her clothes anyways so that was fine.

"Turn it around." Pakkun said gruffly, and she did so, falling quiet as she saw what was embroidered there. 

The hatake mon, a 9 squared diamond, stitched in charcoal black. 

She ran a careful hand over the symbol as Pakkun watched over her shoulder. His body language was relaxed but his eyes were watching her carefully. 

"It used to belong to the kids dad. And let me just say, I was real surprised when he summoned me to help dig through Sakumo's old things."

"So Kakashi's dad . . . He was Sakumo, huh?" 

Pakkun nodded, and the confirmation sat strangley in her heart. 

She tried to think of something quick and snappy to say to break the mood that had descended, but . . . no, her mind remained blank.

She carefully pulled the haori on over her clothes, the same outfit she'd slept and arrived in. She thumbed the blue sleeve, thoughtful. It was too big for her, just like she'd expected. The sleeves coming down to her wrists instead of mid arm like it should.

She didn't mind. 

She took in a deep breath, smoothing the haori out. It was soft with age, smelling of dust and mildew. But she couldn't be surprised, it must have been a long time since it had seen any real use. 

Whatever Sakumo's scent had been, it had long faded from the haori. Even so, she closed her eyes and pretended that she could smell it. 

When she finally opened her eyes back up again, she smiled at the dog. 

"Thanks, Pakkun." 

He let our a gruff sigh, turning away from her. "Thank Kakashi, not me." 

"Hehe, don't worry, I will."

She twirled around, grinning as the Haori spun with her. "If he won't be back for a while, then it should be fine if I go exploring, right?" 

"Well," Pakkun allowed. "I guess he did only say to watch you. Nothing about not letting you leave." 

"Perfect. Hey Pakkun, how do you feel about people watching?"

Kurumi sat crouched on the side of a building, her feet stuck to the wall with chakra as she surveyed the crowds below.

The morning crowds of Konoha's market square were quite a sight. Especially considering the fact that the market square she was greeted with now had to be several times bigger than the one she was used to. Not to mention the multiple roads spilling over with even more shops and booths of all sorts. 

Pakkun sat comfortably against her side, perched on her hip bag where he dozed lightly. Apparently invested enough in her to stick around but not quite so invested to stay awake. 

Not that she minded, as it gave her more time to quirtly speculate about the crowds below. 

There were just so many people! More in this one place than she had ever seen in her life, for sure! 

Though she had never been to the daimyo's capital, this was what she quietly assumed it must be like. Bustling with activity, the streets filled with color and noise. How spectacular—!

There were clans here too, and she soon picked up a game of trying to guess at what clans may have joined the village in the decades she'd missed. 

Only she really knew just a few clans, and even those she often wasn't familiar enough with to guess off sight alone. So most of the game amounted to her picking people out of the crowd by their specific hair colors or odd style of clothing. 

Like the handful of people she'd seen dressed in all black and sporting sunglasses! Were they a clan or was this just some cool new future fashion trend? 

The Uchiha were of course the most noticeable, one of the few clans who still visibly wore their clan mon. 

She could only assume that with the passing of time, it'd become less popular to wear your specific clans symbol and instead switch it out with the village's. 

Interesting, but not something she could ever imagine doing. 

Oddly enough, after a while of people watching she came to the realization that she hadn't spotted any senju. 

To be fair, they were a clan without much of a real sterotype when it came to appearance, besides maybe brown hair and tanned skin — but that was common in of itself. 

But unlike the Uchiha, no one in the crowds below carried their clan symbol. 

Weird. 

Kurumi leapt from the building, falling silently into the crowds below. Few looked her way as she did, used to the coming and going of shinobi's and their habits of literally bouncing off of the walls. 

She perked up at the smell of grilled meat, making her way through the crowds towards a stall that smelled absolutely heavenly.

Mmm . . . meat.

She had no money though. 

She debated the pros and cons of just swiping a skewer or three, might have done it for real if this was her Konoha, but knew better than to try when she was still so new here. There was no ojisan to hide behind or exasperated mama to pay off an angry stall keeper if she got caught swiping something. 

Not that she thought she'd get caught! Kurumi huffed quietly at herself. She was a great thief! The best!! The greatest!!!

But . . . better safe than sorry, right? 

Also, somehow she didn't think Kakashi would approve of her getting busted for stealing the very first time he takes his eyes off of her.

Stealing now off the table but still very much wanting a taste of the skewers, Kurumi defaulted to good old plan b: Acting cute.

She passed by the stall once, slowing her walk as she went and looking at the meat skewers on display with hungry eyes before shaking her head and scurrying off. She waited a full minute before she swung back around, preforming the whole show again. Her third time around she wobbled closer and closer to the stall, as if she was unable to resist the allure of the delicious smelling spiced meat.

Which to be fair, she really wasn't. 

Her fourth time walking by the stall is what finally caught her prize. The stall owner, a gentle looking pink haired man smiled at her, calling out. 

"Hey little lady, can I get you anything?" 

"Oh..." Kurumi pitched her voice to go especially soft and shy as she stared longingly at the food. "I really can't, I don't have any money. I'm sorry mister, they look really good" 

She had to rip her eyes away from her prize, aiming her best, biggest eyes up at the man who looked at her fondly. 

"Well that's a shame, how about this— My stall is having a pretty good day today." He winked. "I'm sure my wife won't notice if just a couple skewers go missing, huh?" 

Kurumi lit up, gazing at the man the glittering eyes of someone who'd seen god. "R-really? Are you sure mister?" 

The man laughed, moving to hand her a stick of meat that she very eagerly accepted. "Just be sure to tell everyone where they can come to buy the best beef skewers in Konoha!" 

"I will, I promise! Thank you so much mister!" 

Heheh, worked like a charm.

Kurumi bounded off with her trophy, ripping into it the meat with vigor as Pakkun gave an amused chuff from under her haori.

"Man, food tastes so much better when it's free." Kurumi hummed, happy as can be as she continued worming her way through the busy market.

She'd had faith that plan B would work of course, but that was almost too easy.

. . . 

Well, if it works once . . . Why not twice? 

An almost predatory grin rose to her face, and Kurumi began to giggle.

She gobbled down the last of her food, slipping the last piece to Pakkun accepted it and seemed to recognize whatever expression had found its way onto her face. "Don't do anything too crazy there kid." 

"Ehehe, don't worry Pakkun. I'm an expert!" 

Her tactic, simple as it was, worked like a charm.

She was careful not to hit up more than one or two stalls a street, and always at the opposite ends if she did approach more than one. 

She mostly aimed for food, but still found herself approaching a couple different stalls with things shiny enough to catch her eye. By the end of the hour she was suddenly the proud owner of several kebabs, more than a few handfuls of sweets that had quickly found their way into her pockets, a very pretty bracelet that would supposedly give her good luck, two different folding fans and an incredibly soft scarf. 

Giggling around a mouthful of grilled pepper as she began to search for a new stall to hit up, she was stopped by someone placing a hand on her shoulder. 

She stopped in her tracks, looking up over her shoulder and blinking cluelessly at the boy that had stopped her. 

Taller and older than her by what had to be a few years — he was 16 maybe? — the boy had wild black hair that curled around his face and the kind of long eyelashes that made Kurumi a little jealous. 

His coat bore the uchiha mon, but before even that, what marked him as an Uchiha in Kurumi 's book was his unmistakable resemblance to her own tall, curly haired Uchiha annoyance. 

"Kaga—?" She couldn't help the the name that half fell from her lips, not having expected to see traces of his face of all people in this modern era.

"A little birdie told me you've been using a cute trick to— ACK!" 

Regaining her senses and realizing she's been made, Kurumi tossed her shock straight out the window. Fast as lightning she jammed her remaining skewer of grilled chicken and peppers straight into the boys mouth. Leaving him to start hacking up a lung as she booked it into the crowd.

"Oh boy, here we go." Pakkun grumbled into her side, and she laughed. 

The boy shouted something at her, but she couldn't make it out through his coughing fit. 

She wove through the crowds, scooting between tightly packed people and keeping an eye overhead for signs of him following her by the roofs, instead of through the crowds. 

Not seeing a sign of him anywhere, she tucked herself into a nearby alleyway. Breathing a sigh of relief as she slipped into the narrow, empty space. She glanced back at the crowds for a moment, then turned around again to begin the walk down the alley—

Only to run face first into the boys chest. 

She stumbled back, rubbing her nose. 

"Well that wasn't very nice of you!" The boy said, tutting his tongue mockingly as he shook his head. 

Kurumi searched for an excuse, and unable to think of any real good one on such short notice, defaulted once again to plan B. 

"Ehe . . . Sorry," she glanced at his konoha forhead protector. "shinobi-sama. You just scared me!" 

She brought a hand to her mouth, giving him her biggest puppy dog eyes only to find him unmoved.

Ah crap. 

"Shinobi-sama, huh?" The boy chuckled, looking down at him from his freakish and unnatural height of maybe half a foot more than her own height. 

"You know, I don't think I've seen you around before." He said thoughtfully. 

"What can I say, I'm good at staying under the radar." Kurumi shrugged, and the boy sent her a dry grin.

"Somehow I doubt that." 

"Not my fault if you wont believe me." She shrugged. "I am kind of new to Konoha though. Technically. Hatake Kurumi, nice to meet you!" 

"Oh wow, a Hatake! Haha how cool, I thought Kakashi was the only one of you guys left around!" 

This guy . . . had he already known who she was when he approached her? She hadn't really expected another reaction as strong as Genma's (even if she did wish for one)

But he'd mentioned Kakashi by his given name, which meant they had to be at least a little close. And this didn't really feel like the reaction of someone finding out about an acquaintance or friend's supposed secret and or lost family. 

Eh, whatever. 

"Heh, it is pretty cool huh?" Kurumi puffed up with pride, beginning to relax as the boy made no move to hint at possibly snitching on her for her earlier activities. It wasn't like she'd been doing anything illegal anyways! Everything she'd gotten she's gotten free of charge and in good faith! Totally legitimate! 

Kurumi planted her fists on her hips and gave a happy little sway back and forth. "Everyone knows the Hatake's are never really down for the count." 

That got a snort out of the boy. 

"Yeah I think there's a few different medics who'd disagree with you on that, when it comes to Kakashi. Not like that's ever stopped him." 

Kurumi frowned, not sure if her cousin (or maybe nephew? Cousin was probably a safer term to be honest) was being poked fun at here. Before she could decide on whether to poke back at the boy, he soldiered on.

"Uchiha Shisui by the way!" He thrust out a hand towards her, and she looked at first it, then his face. 

Man, he really did look like Kagami. 

Was there any polite, not suspicious or out of nowhere to ask a stranger to see his family tree? Probably not. She was sort of tempted to blurt it out anyways. 

Kurumi pushed those thoughts aside as she grabbed Shisui's hand with both of hers, shaking it with enthusiasm. 

"You know my cousin then?" 

"Yeah, we've worked on the same team together a few times!" 

Instantly, she lit up.

"Really? Is he cool? What am I saying, of course he is." — He's a Hatake after all — "Is he famous? Oh, oh, what's his specialty? What's it like working with him?" 

Shisui laughed, leaning away from her as she edged eagerly into his space. Practically falling over herself as she raised up on her tippy toes in her attempts to cage him in as she piled on the questions. 

"Does he do any special missions? Secret missions? Important missions?" 

The last Hatake must be a pretty valuable guy, right? No matter how much the clan had faded, she refused to believe their strength could fade with it. Not so long as even a single one of them still lived!

"I guess you could say he's pretty infamous? He works pretty hard to stay out of public view though. Uhh missions? Well," Shisui winked "I don't think I'm really allowed to talk about that." 

Not being allowed to talk about it was so code for super important secret missions—! Just as expected, her future cousin-nephew was the coolest.

Kurumi pulled away from Shisui with pleased giggles, giving him some space back to breathe. 

— wait did that mean Shisui went on cool top secret missions himself? Hmm . . .

She looked at him with a suddenly evaluating eye, scanning him head to toe as he blinked at her sudden change in attitude. 

"And you work with him sometimes?" She prodded, and Shisui gave her a smug grin as he folded his arms across his chest. 

"I don't think I'm allowed to tell you much about that either." 

. . . Cool.

"Aww not even a little bit? Even a tiny hint of a teensy adventure or an embaressing story?" 

"Well, I suppose I could share a bit . . ." Shisui preened under her eye as she practically vibrated with interest. "But that wouldn't make me a very good shinobi, would it?" 

"Awww come on, pleasee?" 

"Hmmm, I dunno. We just met and you're already digging for information from me? Maybe you're the one who needs to work on being a shinobi instead. Hasn't anyone told you how to properly pry information out of your target?" 

"But I already gave you my whole kebab!" Kurumi said, and Shisui laughed.

"Yeah, I think the choking me with it kind of canceled out the bribery part." 

"But you scared me first so really it was just getting even!" 

"That still leaves you at a solid 0 leverage." 

"Hmm, checkmate."

"How about this, we can trade!" Shisui offered, and now it was his turn to lean into her space. 

"What kind of trade?" She asked, suddenly on guard. 

"So I have this cousin—"

Chapter Text

Kurumi was beyond excited to be proven right 

The Uchiha compound had moved, this one much bigger than she had remembered — outfitted with all sorts of Uchiha run shops and stalls to top it all off.

It was like a miniature city within a city, and it had to be one of the coolest things she'd seen in future Konoha so far. Everywhere she looked there were tons and tons of Uchiha! 

Hehe, now here was a real clan compound.

"This place is huge!"

Shisui grinned, clearly delighted with her own delight. "Were one of the biggest clans in Konoha for a reason you know." 

"I bet!" 

Man, the Uchiha were cool. Kurumi's head kept going back and forth on a swivel, trying to see as much as she possibly could of this new compound. The Uchiha mon was proudly bared on every other building, most of which were painted dark Uchiha blue and accented with whites and reds. 

You can always trust an Uchiha to commit to the aesthetic, huh. 

Shisui seemed happy to point out places and people as they went. Naming a few different shops and very proudly showing her where the forges were when they passed by. 

After a short walk, they approached the house where Shisui's cousin must live at. It was big, with the sort of structure that actually reminded her of Hikaku-sama's home. She wondered if it had been modeled off of it when built.

They walked through the garden, past a koi pond, and began to circle around the house to where Kurumi heard the sound of voices and the familiar thunk thunk thunk of blades hitting a wooden target.

That must be the cousin and his brother. 

Shisui's request had been simple, so simple actually that Kurumi was sure she'd missed something. He just wanted her to meet his cousin, who was probably training with his brother since it was his day off. 

Kurumi had been a bit suspicious, until Shisui had said something about his cousin— Itachi —also knowing Kakashi.

Then she got it. 

This guy totally just wanted to see if he could get a reaction out of his cousin by throwing Kurumi at him, didn't he? 

Well, Kurumi wasn't about to say no to that.

And now they were here, coming around the corner of the house and into view of two Uchiha boys. 

They were both pretty young, the older looking looked to be around Kurumi's age and the younger maybe 7. 

Which made Shisui the adult supervision here, and since he had literally asked for this, made Kurumi untouchable the eyes of the law. Because that's definitely how that works. 

(And ignoring Pakkun, who was snoozing away hidden beneath her haori) 

"Hey, Itachi!" Shisui called, and the boy looked up— looking first at Shisui before his eyes drifted over to Kurumi and studied her curiously.

Head tilting like a bird who'd seen something shiny, he turned away from his brother where he continued throwing shuriken at targets with what was honestly some pretty decent skill for his age. 

"Shisui." Itachi greeted, which was finally the little brother's queue to look away from his target practice and face the visitors as well. 

The little brother . . .

Something about him looked really familiar, actually. Did she know who he was related to maybe? Kurumi squinted at him, trying to piece together what about the kid reminder her of who, but no name came to her. 

When Kurumi glanced back at Itachi, he was watching her a little more cautiously now. Had she really stared that hard at his brother? She thought it'd been normal levels of staring, but hey, she'll avert her eyes or whatever.

"Cousin Shisui!" The boy yelled happily, abandoning his shuriken to dart over and practically throw himself at Shisui. Itachi came with, approaching slowly with his eyes still on Kurumi like he was trying to figure something out. 

"I haven't seen you in forever!" 

Shisui laughed, ruffling the boys hair. "Sorry Sasuke, I've been on assignment for a while now haven't I? But at least you have Itachi here, right?"

Sasuke pouted. "Itachi is gone even more than you are." 

Behind him, Itachi made a pained face. 

"I'm sorry Sasuke," he said softly. "you know I have a lot of important work to do." 

"Yeah, I know." Sasuke huffed, and then finally seemed to notice Kurumi. 

"Who are you?"

Kurumi laughed as Itachi gave a long suffering sigh. "Sasuke, that's rude."

"It's fine! I'm Hatake Kurumi, nice to meet you!" She grinned at Sasuke, who only continued to look at her with thinly veiled suspicion.

"Hatake?" Itachi blinked, eyes growing wide for a moment as he looked first at her and then at Shisui for confirmation. When Shisui just grinned at him, not giving anything away, he slowly looked back at Kurumi . 

"As in Hatake Kakashi?" 

"Who?" Sasuke asked, apparently not very happy with being left out of the conversation. 

"Our team captain." Shisui explained as Kurumi nodded at Itachi with a smirk. 

"Yep! Kakashi's my big brother, can't you see the resemblance?" She gave him a couple big, innocent blinks, but all he could seem to manage was a very thoughtful "Huh."

Man this guy was too dead faced to get any really funny reactions out of. Eh, the quiet ones were fun in their own ways. 

Sasuke meanwhile, perked up. "If he's your team captain he's gotta be a pretty strong guy, right?" and instantly, Kurumi perked up. 

Itachi nodded slowly, eyes still on Kurumi. "Hatake Kakashi is a very powerful shinobi. I . . . wasn't aware he had any remaining family." 

"Don't worry, we get that a lot." Kurumi sighed and shrugged, purposefully careless. "I've been on a top secret mission for some years now, so they had to scrub my identity out of all the paperwork, I'm sure you understand." 

Itachi blinked, and Kurumi could practically see him processing the information in real time. Turning it over in his head consideringly before seeming to just accept it at face value. 

No fucking way he actually believed that. Ojisan would skin anyone who tried to send her out on a mission that important that young. Not to mention mama, who would tie her to a tree and not let her down till she agreed to not running any missions till she was, like, 30.

This guy was a lot more gullible than she'd thought.

"I'm glad you were able to return to Konoha." He finally settled on, and Kurumi gave him a big, toothy grin. 

"I'm glad to be back!" 

Behind her, Kurumi thought Shisui might have been silently laughing. 

"Was your mission dangerous? Did you kill any enemy nin?" Sasuke asked intensely, suddenly all the more interested in her now that she was deemed some sort of big boy ninja. 

"Heh, it wasn't really that sort of mission. I mean, I can't really talk about it, but I guess I can say it was really more of a long term infiltration thing, y'know." 

"Oh." Sasuke looked a little disappointed, and Kurumi rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't mean it wasn't dangerous."

"That's still not as cool though." Sasuke pouted. 

"Uhh, sneaking around is plenty cool?" 

"Nii-san goes on cooler missions though." The boy huffed, and then relented. "But I guess that isnt really fair, since no one is as cool as him to start with." 

Ok that was really cute. Kurumi was a little insulted though? But still, really cute. 

"Are you a chunin then, or a jonin?" Itachi asked, momentarily saving Sasuke from her.

"Yeah totally." Kurumi replied automatically, having absoloutley no idea what either of those words meant.

"Ah, totally which . . . ?" Itachi asked, visibly confused. He glanced over at Shisui as if to double check something — probably if she was being serious or not, but found no answers there besides a very big smile. 

"Oh, chunin for sure." She tossed out, mostly because she had already forgotten how to pronounce the other word he'd said. 

"You know, I really can see the family resemblance." Shisui said, clapping her shoulder cheerfully. 

Kurumi preened, which only seemed to make Itachi look even more tired.

"I guess chunin is pretty ok." Sasuke said carefully, which Kurumi chose to take as him admiting she was totally for sure miles cooler than Itachi. 

"I bet this chunin has better aim than you." She teased, and instantly he was puffed up in offense. "No way! Nii-san taught me how to throw himself, and I'm already better than it than anyone else in my class!" 

"Well I'm not in your class, am I?" 

He huffed, already retreating back to where he had been practicing when they'd arrived. "Don't get too confident!" 

"I should be saying that to you, twerp!" 

She followed him as behind them, Itachi watched them carefully, stepping besides Shisui as they began to talk. 

"Is she really . . . ?" Itachi asked, and Shisui laughed. 

"Can you not see the resemblance? I think they have the same sense of humor, under all the uhh, everything."

If her ears could, they would have perked up. As it was, she just smiled smugly as she and Sasuke began to collect the mix of shuriken and kunai both stuck firmly to the target board and scattered around the yard. 

Despite the distance and even with their voices kept low, she could hear every word. Man, you'd think that with Kakashi as their mission leader they'd know not to underestimate a Hatake's ears. 

"No, I see it." Itachi said, and she imagined he was giving Shisui that same tired look again. 

"I found her wandering around the market and thought you'd wanna meet her!" Shisui continued cheerfully. "It's not like you exist near anyone else your age, so really it's good for you." 

"I was training with Sasuke." Itachi said, and if Kurumi didn't know better she might have said he was whining. But also she'd just met him like 3 minutes ago and didn't know better so she wasn't scared of calling it what it was; He was totally whining. 

"And I didn't stop you." Shisui rolled his eyes, bumping into Itachi's hip with his own. "Sasuke is still right there, and so are all the pointy things you can dream of. Just go join them." 

"They're doing their own thing now." Itachi gave the exact same tiny huff as his little brother had, and Shisui groaned. 

"I don't know why everyone thinks you're cool, you're such a whimp Itachi, come on." 

Itachi offered no protests as Shisui began pushing him along over to where Kurumi and Sasuke had finished collecting the throwing weapons. 

"Come to join us?" Kurumi asked smugly, and Shisui grinned. "Me and Itachi are joining your competition." 

Sasuke lit up, running over and grabbing Itachi's hands to tug him towards the targets.

"Then I want to be on nii-san's team!"

"Dibs on Shisui!" Kurumi shouted, practically throwing herself at him. Shisui laughed as she slammed into his side, sticking his tongue out at the brothers. "You guys are going down."

Kurumi joined him with her own grin, a finger coming up to tug at the skin under her eye as she made a face at Sasuke. 

"No way!" The boy yelled. "You guys are the ones who are going to loose! I have Itachi on my team and nii-san never looses!" 

Itachi looked a little too smug for Kurumi's tastes where he stood behind Sasuke, so she just rolled her eyes.

"Oh nooo, not the great and powerful Uchiha Itachi!" Kurumi mocked. "I'm soooo scared!"

"You should be!" Sasuke grouched.

Shisui continued to laugh at them as he collected their shuriken from the pile. Kurumi meanwhile began trading increasingly stupid faces with Sasuke, till they were both distracted by the blades being set out in front of them.

"Everyone gets 10 shuriken," Shisui explained. "Pick a target, the team who gets the most shuriken on their target wins." 

Kurumi grinned, picking out her target. 

Sasuke was the only one to choose a target directly in front of him. The other three, who knew this game was a bit more than just hitting your target, chose ones that overlapped with eachothers paths. 

Games of aiming were well and good, but when you're competing against other shinobi who are already confident in their throws, no one will win unless you add a little something extra into the mix.

"Do you wanna do the honors, Sasuke?" 

Sasuke grinned and took a breath, and they all picked up a shuriken. 

"Go!" 

Immediatley, blades filled the air. Kurumi scowled as one of Itachi's manages to hit both one of hers, before ricochetting off and knocking Shisui's off course as well. It was very impressive actually, which arguably made it even more annoying.

She made a face at him, and he only looked back in what she was starting to label his 'neutral face of vague smugness.'

She took advantage of his momentary distraction and flicked out another blade, this one avoiding getting knocked out of the air by a hair and hitting her target dead on.

Now it was her turn to look smug, her triumphant face a lot more obvious than Itachi's. Bit more fangs involved too.

The game continued, shurikens flying. Some hitting their targets and more knocking into eachother and setting them off course. 

Kurumi grinned as she managed to succeed at a trick shot she'd watch ojisan teach Kagami— her shuriken first knocking into Sasuke's before it's altered course had it slamming into her own target. 

It was over all too soon as Kurumi looked down and realized she only had one left. She looked at the others and found Itachi, holding his own last shuriken, watching her carefully. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, and while he didn't do her the favor of dramatically narrowing his eyes back at her (spoil sport) he did cock his head in that bird-like fashion at her again. 

"It's a tie." Shisui stage whispered to Sasuke, who's head whipped around to stare at their targets before he let out a dramatic gasp. 

"Nii-san'a gonna kick your guys' butt." Sasuke stage whispered back at him, and Shisui snickered. 

Kurumi watched Itachi carefully, leveling her shuriken and getting ready to throw. Itachi did the same back at her, looking perfectly relaxed. Kurumi faked a toss, but he didn't so much as twitch.

Hmmm . . . he was good.

They stared at eachother a few seconds more, locked in stalemate. 

Then, quick as a whip and eyes still locked on Itachi's, Kurumi flicked her wrist out and sent her final shuriken sailing through the air towards her target. 

But if Kurumi's throw had been lightning fast then Itachi's had to be as fast as just plain light because there was a clang of metal on metal as his shuriken met hers and bounced away, slamming neatly into the center of his own target. 

Sasuke let out a victory cry as Shisui groaned and Kurumi cursed. "No way, you copied my move!" She yelled, and yeah Itachi definatley looked smug now. The boy just have her a little half shrug as Sasuke threw himself at him with a hug. 

Man . . . that really was cool. How unfair.

"RIGGED!!" Kurumi shouted. "RIGGED GAME!" 

Shisui laughed as she staggered and fell dramatically into her partner's arms, feigning distress. "How are we expected to beat the great and powerful Uchiha Itachi!? This thing was rigged from the start!" 

Sasuke giggled at her, but his laughter cut off into a shriek as she dove for him. 

"I need to take you out before you become as powerful as your brother!" She yelled, grabbing at him as he scrambled away. 

She snagged him by the hips, lifting him up into the air above her head with a triumphant cry as he wriggled around in her grasp. 

He managed to make a clumsy flip in her hands, twisting around to slam his feet into her back, making her drop him and stumble forward. She turned it into a roll, spinning around as she went and sweeping her leg under his feet as he landed and tried to make a run for it. 

He fell with another shriek and she pounced. The two of them began to wrestle, rolling across the grass as she shouted more about him being too powerful to let live. 

Behind her, she heard the unmistakable crunch of grass and barley there shwwsh of air that marked someone rushing her, and she rolled just in time to avoid Itachi aiming what would have been a kick straight into her stomach. 

She popped back up, Sasuke tucked firmly under one arm as she grinned at Itachi, wiggling her eyebrows at him in challenge. Itachi raised his eyebrows back at her in return, a spark of something playful in his quiet eyes.

"Hah, foolish Uchiha!" She began, and Itachi paused to let her have her speech. 

"For you've just revealed your greatest weakness!" She lifted Sasuke up into the air once again, this time with a grip tight enough to prevent him from trying the same flip trick from earlier. 

"With Sasuke in my grasps you are at my mercy!"

"Noooo!!" Sasuke yelled, and she loosened her grasp to allow him to worm free. 

There was a faint noise as Itachi shunshined behind her, and she couldn't help but blurt out "Oh shit—" as he aimed yet another kick at her. But this one was stopped by Shisui as he leapt between them, grabbing Itachi's foot and twisting it around. 

Itachi leapt and spun with the twist of his foot to avoid his leg being jerked around, then flipped back as Shisui crowed, "You didn't think I'd just abandon my team mate like that, did you? Your fight is with me!" 

The two boys devolved into their own play fight, theirs much more intense than the one between Kurumi and Sasuke. Kurumi gave it an appreciative glance— they were both fast —before her distraction nearly caused her to get her a punch in the face from Sasuke.

"Thought you could take me off guard, huh?" She cackled, and went right back to it. 

She made sure to never keep him pinned for too long, aware that would just make it boring. Honestly she didn't even have to give him that many openings, he was pretty good at hand to hand for his age. Still though, she kept it light and easy. She was no slouch for her age either! 

The whole thing kind of reminded her of wrestling with her mama's wolves back home, which only made her grin grow wider.

"Kids, lunch time!" A voice called, and Kurumi paused where she was with Sasuke pinned under her, still squirming. He tried to kick her in the gut, but she only grinned and batted his foot away with her knee. 

A woman stood at the porch, looking out at them with a warm smile and soft eyes. "And of course, our guests are welcome to join us." 

Chapter Text

The woman, Mikoto— Itachi and Sasuke's mom as it turned out —was totally winning all the awards for best chef in konoha in Kurumi's book.

The girl found herself staring at the lunch arranged for them, the smell alone making her hungry even after her morning of collecting meaty snacks. Had their games and scuffle worked her appetite back up or was she just hungrier than she'd thought? She was a growing girl after all, and growing shinobi girl at that. A growing shinobi Hatake girl. 

Mama always said she had a wolf's appetite. 

"Thank you for the food!" Everyone chorused at different levels of volume and enthusiasm, Kurumi and Shisui being among the loudest. 

"Thank you Mikoto-sama!" Shisui grinned at the woman as he began adding food to his plate from the dishes set out for them. 

Kurumi glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, also picking things to add to her plate. 'Sama', huh? 

"Shisui, you know I'm always delighted to see you at our table." Mikoto replied with an easy smile, before turning her gaze on Kurumi. 

"And you must be the Hatake girl I've heard so much about." 

Hoh, were the rumors picking up already? She'd only been here a day! Who was she kidding, Kurumi knew that nothing moved faster than the speed of good gossip— especially among shinobi. Still, how impressive! 

Taking Shisui's lead with the honorific, Kurumi gave the woman a big smile as she rubbed at the back of her head. "Thank you for letting me into your home Uchiha-sama! I hope it's only good things you've been hearing!" 

"Oh, of course. And how couldn't I, after seeing you getting along so well with my boys? But please, call me Mikoto. It would get a little confusing to address me as only Uchiha, with so many of us around." 

"Thank you Mikoto-sama!" Kurumi echoed Shisui's earlier words obediently, and Mikoto smiled. "Please call me Kurumi then!"

Kurumi glanced at Itachi, who was busy rubbing a smear of dirt off of Sasuke's face that the boy must have missed when washing up to eat. 

She snorted, and Sasuke stuck his tongue out at her. 

Not one to be defeated, she stuck her tongue back out at him, even further than he had, as Itachi rolled his eyes. 

"Ah—" She looked back at Mikoto, but the woman only looked amused as she too watched her elder child fuss over Sasuke; The younger trying to stuff a piece of fish into his mouth while still having his cheek rubbed at vigorously by a napkin. 

He wasn't very successful, for obvious reasons.

"Nii-san it's fine!" Sasuke insisted, leaning out of his brothers hold on his face.

"Hold still Sasuke, there's still some dirt on you." 

"It's fine!"

"It's not sanitary, otouto."

"B't m' h'nds 're clean!" Sasuke argued through a mouthful of fish, and his brother let out a long suffering sigh. 

"Sasuke, listen to your brother." Mikoto said firmly. 

"Yeah Sasuke, listen to your brother. You don't want to get dirt worms, do you?" Shisui teased, and Sasuke growled. 

"Dirt worms aren't real, I asked Iruka-sensei and he said that you can't get worms in your stomach just because you ate with dirt on your face!"

"Iruka-sensei only told you that because he's too embaressed to admit he got dirt worms, the same way you will!" 

"Ugh! Fine!" 

Sasuke threw his hands up in defeat, pouting furiously as Itachi dove in once again with his napkin and began to rub away the dirt. 

"You should have done this earlier, now it's all dried." Itachi said dissaprovingly, and Sasuke scowled as across the table Shisui made a show of leaning towards Kurumi and stage-whispering conspiratorially.

"Once the dirt dries, that's when the dirt worms really start to infection you."

"Stop it!" 

Kurumi watched the conversation play out, grinning toothily into her food. Family dinners were always so fun to watch, definatley the best kind of people watching. 

"So, Kurumi-chan. I hear you were raised by wolves?" Mikoto looked at her, a playful look dancing across her face. 

"You were what?" Sasuke asked, suddenly very invested in the conversation. 

"Foxes, actually." Kurumi said with a careless toss of her hair, and Mikoto blinked at her before covering her laugh with her hand. 

"Is that so?"

"Yep! My parents gave me to them as a baby, so I could learn their ways and become the ultimate shinobi. They raised me as their own, deep in the forests, teaching me human speech but never allowing me to speak to a real human." 

Kurumi placed a hand on her heart, trying to look as sad as she possibly could.

"Oh my." Mikoto's hand has raised to cover her mouth yet again, and Kurumi couldn't really tell if she was smothering a laugh or an obligatory apology for her ""situation.""

Across from her, Itachi frowned. "But I thought you said . . . ?" 

Kurumi steamrolled over him, standing in order to dramatically continue her passionate speech with loud hand gestures and soulful eyes.

"But even without ever having met a real human person, I still heard the voices of my clan! And in their time of need, I was called back to Konoha by the voice of my clan head to help raise the clan back up again!"

Next to her, she was pretty sure Shisui was having to physically hold back his laughter. 

"The . . . Hatake clan head?" Mikoto asked, dropping her hand from her lips as she looked at Kurumi with a curious look tinged with confusion.

"Yeah, Kakashi." 

"Oh! I wasn't aware he'd picked up the title?" 

Why did she phrase that like a question? 

Kurumi stilled, now frowning as she slowly lowered back into her seat. "Has he not?"

"There's never been any announcement of it, public or otherwise."

Ok, what the fuck Kakashi. 

Kurumi was frowning for real now, crossing her arms as she tried to process the fact that Kakashi apparently wasn't clan head. Even as the last Hatake.

Or well, officially at least. Because unofficially he definatley was. He was the oldest, he was the last (till Kurumi got there anyways) he was apparently a pretty impressive shinobi, he had signed the clan summons contract (even if they were dogs.) He was clan head. That's just that. 

"Well there will be soon then, if I have anything to say about it." Kurumi huffed, uncrossing her arms.

"I never realized that the Hatake's were big enough of a clan that they had a real clan head." Shisui mused.

"Ugh, yeah, that's kind of the problem." Kurumi muttered, and shook her head. 

"Kakashi would make an interesting clan head, that's for sure." He said, nudging her foot with his. 

"Would he?" Itachi asked, with a look on his face like he was thinking about a very specific incident. Kurumi would know, she'd seen that look a lot on many, many faces. Usually in reference to something she'd done. 

"I mean, he's really strong, and he's definatley dependable." Shisui argued, and Kurumi nodded along enthusiastically, happy to hear more positive things about her cousin.

A thoughtful look had settled onto Mikoto's face as she watched them. "Kakashi as a clan head, hmm?" She tapped at the table as she hummed, visibly lost in thought. "With his relationship with our clan . . . Yes, that could be, hmm . . ." 

Kurumi perked up. Oh man, did Kakashi back the Uchiha's, politics wise? Heh, good taste in which clans were coolest really did run through the family.

"Kakashi will be a great clan head!" Kurumi  said confidently. "The clan council has been missing out on that Hatake touch it needs so bad." 

"But you need to have at least five members of clan to sit on the clan council, even as a small clan." Itachi pointed out, and Kurumi looked at him, confused. 

"Wha—? No, clan law says you need five members to establish a clan, or just three, if they share a kekkei genkai. Like the Orochi!" 

Kurumi would know, she'd sat in the backseat of more than a few arguments about it and walked past even more. Clan law was a hot topic in her konoha, even after they'd established the villages baseline laws. There were still so many unique little problems and situations to solve popping up every week. 

"The Orochi?" Shisui prodded, curious. 

"Yeah! They joined Konoha as a clan of three, but since they had a kekkei genkai they were allowed to have a seat at the clan council. It was argued about a ton, especially by the bigger guys like the Hyuuga, Uchiha and the Senju, but tree— uhm, the first Hokage and his advisors, insisted that they'd made Konoha for the clans, big and small. So they allowed it." 

Itachi frowned. "I've never heard of an Orochi clan before."

Oh what the fuck, were they gone too? Man.

"I think it might have been Orochimaru's clan?" Shisui joined in on Itachi's thoughtful frowning. "Y'know, before."

"Orochimaru?" Kurumi perked up. "Definatley his clan. Orochimaru is the name all the Orochi clan heads take when they get the position." 

The Orochimaru of Kurumi 's time was an tall, eerie, quiet thing who was a bit too snake-like for most people to stomach. Only Kurumi's mother was very much not most people, if the amount of times Kurumi had seen them slip in and out of empty offices together said anything. Ew. 

"You're very good at your clan history," Mikoto remarked, tilting a thoughtful head as she regarded Kurumi. "I didn't even know most of that." 

Was she? Kurumi didn't think she was. 

Then again, she supposed it was a lot easier to be good at history and clan facts, when you hadn't actually learned it but lived through it instead. 

It was probably so much less difficult to actually care about something as lame as what order the clans joined Konoha in when it wasn't something you learned from a dusty old scroll, but instead something soaked up naturally along side plenty of gossip and constant arguments about how "well MY clan came here first so I should get the last cake"

(Stupid annoying Hyuuga brats, they'd only beat her clan by a week)

"Ehe, thanks. I guess you could say it just comes naturally to me." Kurumi rubbed at the back of her head, finally returning to her food. 

"Kakashi as a clan head, hmm?" When Mikoto smiled, there was an edge to it. Sharp and lethal, pretty as a knife and no less deadly for it. "I suppose I'll be looking forward to the next clan council then." 

Kurumi choked on the fish she'd just swallowed. 

She hacked and coughed, hunched over as Mikoto let out a little, "Oh dear!" her sharp smile being replaced by soft, motherly worry. 

"Mikoto-sama are you clan head—!??" Kurumi asked urgently as soon as her choking had died down.

She mentally ran over her actions so far. Had she been rude at all? Even for a second? Aw man, was Itachi the clan heir? Ugh, she should have known— he was way too smug during their game to be anyone less than important. 

Wait, Shisui—! 

Kurumi turned to give him an accusing glare, but the boy only gave her an innocent, 'don't look at me!' smile.

Was this . . . what karma felt like?

Curse you Shisui, not telling her she was walking into a clan heads home! The Uchiha clan head at that! 

Kurumi may be years out of her own home, and yeah, she made a point of being respectful to all the potentially important people who she could worm into the good graces of. But clan heads— the Uchiha clan head at that—! 

She could have been more charming! More respectful! More cute! Instead she'd shoved Mikoto-sama' sons face in the dirt! 

Then again, Mikoto hadn't seemed to mind.

. . . And it really had been fun.

      . . . And getting your face shoved into the dirt was good for character development. 

(Kurumi kind of wanted to shove Itachi's face into the dirt now, not just because of the whole losing to him thing or the 'his quietly smug face is kind of punchable' thing. But also because clan heir kids were objectively 50 times more likley to need and deserve some good character development.) 

(. . . Kurumi wasn't supposed to go near the Hyuuga heir anymore. For reasons.) 

"Close, but not quite." Mikoto looked amused now as she pat Kurumi's back. 

Mikoto-samaaa, you're so nice, so generous, please kindly move your hand from Kurumi's back and to her head with those pats. 

"My husband is, and I'm his second." 

Ahah! So she was the Hikaku of this time! Just if Hikaku was married to Madara and also a lot prettier. And a lady. And a mother. 

Though actually, to be fair, Hikaku did kind of behave like a mom sometimes? So maybe they were more similar than Kurumi  thought—?

She was getting off track. 

"That's so cool Mikoto-sama! I'm sorry I didnt realize earlier, I would have tried to be a little more respectful!" 

Mikoto raised an amused eyebrow at her, and Kurumi grinned sheepishly, feeling a bit seen through. 

"You're fine, dear. Please, just continue as you were." She looked at her kids— specifically at the now disinterested looking Itachi. "It's good for the boys to have someone who doesn't treat them extra carefully just because of who they are." 

Oh! Kurumi could do that! Kurumi could so do that. 

"Is this you giving me permission to shove Sasuke's face in the dirt again?" Kurumi asked, only half joking, and Mikoto laughed. 

"If it helps with his training and he agrees, I don't see why not." 

Sasuke scowled. "Why would I agree to having dirt in my face?" 

"Hah! Those sounds like the words of someone who knows he lost at sparring against me!" Kurumi said smugly, well aware that she was very much out of his league no matter how talented he was for his age. And also that he was like half her size. And age. Wait, how old was he?

Whatever, didn't matter. 

"Wow Sasuke, I didn't think you were a quitter." Shisui teased, and Sasuke huffed. 

"I'm not! I totally would have won if mom hadn't called us in to eat!" 

"Hah! Sure you would have." Kurumi grinned.

"Nii-san, you know I'd totally be able to have beat her, right?" Sasuke turned to his brother, tugging at his sleeve and looking up at him with big eyes.

"Ah. Well—" Itachi started, then stopped. Seeming to be unable to tell the truth when faced with his brothers sad eyes. 

Hah, sucker. 

"I'm sure you could beat her. Eventually." Itachi allowed after way too long of a pause. 

"Ugh, nii-san you're an awful liar." Sasuke pouted, crossing his arms. 

Shisui laughed. 

"Thank you for hosting me Mikoto-sama." Kurumi said, bowing at the woman before popping back up with a grin. 

"Of course, Kurumi-chan. Come by again soon, ok? And tell Kakashi I look forward to seeing him at the clan council." She winked, and Kurumi's smile grew even wider.

"I will!" 

"Next time I'll beat you for sure." Sasuke scowled at her from where he stood leaning into his big brothers side, tiny hand wrapped up in his sleeve that he'd been using as a lead to tug his brother along with him to say goodbye. 

"Hah! Suuuure you will." 

"I totally will! Tell her nii-san!" 

Kurumi looked at Itachi expectantly, who said in perfect monotone, "Next time he'll beat you for sure." 

"See! Nii-san said so which means now it'll happen!" Sasuke puffed up with pride. 

Their mother laughed, reaching over to ruffle first his hair and then Itachi.

Sasuke attempted to dodge the hand, pulling away but getting caught anyways. He made a face as she mussed his hair, grumbling something about not being a baby.

Itachi meanwhile made no move to avoid it, instead leaning into his mother's hand, closing his eyes and allowing her to mess up his neat ponytail.

It was so domestic it made Kurumi a little jealous. Which was stupid. So she stopped being jealous, obviously. 

"Well?" she asked Shisui as they began the walk back through the Uchiha compound. "Does this make us even then?" 

Shisui grinned a little sheepishly. "I guess I should have warned you, huh?"

Kurumi crossed her arms with a loud huff. "I can admit when I've been got, and I guess it was kind of funny." 

Shisui was pretty funny. Yet another point for why there was no way he could be Kagami's kid or grandkid or whatever.

Of course, that was on top of the fact that Kurumi refused to believe Kagami could ever get a girl to kiss him. Not unless there was something seriously wrong with her. 

She was kind of really tempted to try and find out exactly which girl had ended up making a whole baby with him. (Not that she believed it! That loser? Kissing a girl? He'd probably go so red in the face he'd set himself on fire without Kurumi's help.) 

If nothing else, she wanted to know who the girl was so she cohld try to kiss her before him.

It was a spite thing.

"You know Kakashi is never going to agree to being clan head, right?" Pakkun asked, poking his head out from her haori. Kurumi and Shisui both jumped, and Kurumi lifted the side of the garment away to look down at the dog.

"Wh— Pakkun? Have you been there this whole time?" Asked Shisui, appropriately bewildered. 

Man, she'd totally forgotten he was there! 

. . . How had he not been woken up or jumped out during their spar?

"Ehh, I can convince him!" She said cheerfully, then paused and tilted her head. "Probably."

"Uhuh." 

"No, for real! Besides he already is clan head by default! We just need to make it official." 

Shisui shook his head, shrugging off his surprise at Pakkun's sudden appearence and falling back into step with Kurumi.

"I don't actually think I know what Kakashi thinks of Konoha politics all that much. And if you really want him to rejoin the clan council, well, theres a lot of that." He mused outloud. "Then again, he was the student of the last hokage, so he probably at least knows how to navigate that kind of—"

"He was what?" Kurumi stopped in her tracks, mouth falling open as she stared at Shisui.

"Did you not— no of course you wouldn't, would you?"

"He was WHAT?" Kurumi repeated, now reaching out to grab Shisui by his arms— she'd aim for his shoulders but he really was annoyingly tall— and shake him. 

"Kakashi was the student of the Yondaime Hokage." Pakkun confirmed, and Kurumi let Shisui go, staggering back and staring down at her hands. The girl began to shake slightly, visible tremors running up and down her body.

"Uhh, Kurumi? Are you ok . . . ?"

Shisui raised a tentative hand to her shoulder, then seemed to realize that she wasn't bad shaking. Instead, her tremors were racked with excitment. 

Kakashi . . . The student of the previous Hokage, huh?

Obviously this yondaime was probably nowhere as cool as her ojisan or as powerful as her Hokage. But they had to be near them, to have that position. To have that power— Political and otherwise.

And Kakashi had been taught by them.

That just settled it. Kakashi was cool, he was powerful, he had some sort of vuagley impressive reputation in the village. He'd been taught by a Hokage.

Last Hatake or not, this guy was definatley the perfect choice for the job! 

Kurumi clenched her fists, raising her eyes to stare determinedly at the hokage tower, off in the distance. 

'No matter what, I definatley get Kakashi to agree to be the Hatake clan head—!'

"Uhhh, Kurumi? You . . . ok over there?"

Chapter Text

It was high noon by the time the overexcited Kurumi made it back to Kakashi's apartment.

Kurumi wasted no time in racing up the building's walls, slamming into the windowsill, and scrabbling at the locks in a rush to unlock them.

She could have used the door, but doors were for losers, so she didn't.

The locks here were different from the ones she was used to, but not different enough for it to matter. Still, that slight difference stalled her. Stalled her enough that Kakashi had time to shuffle into view in the living room across from her.

She waved enthusiastically, her wide grin all teeth, and he gave her a vaguely pained face.

He took his sweet time in coming over and unlocking the window, Kurumi's patience wearing thinner and thinner with each second that passed.

"Come onnnnn!!" She rattled the window frame, sending a little shower of dirt and dust floating to the ground down below.

"Hurry!!"

This only seemed to slow Kakashi down more, as the man seemed to turn from genuinely fumbling to drawing it out a bit too long to be believable.

"I'm dying out here y'know!"

Finally, the window clicked open.

Kurumi fell into the apartment in a controlled roll, popping up and pointing a finger towards Kakashi's face.

"Kakashi! Be clan head!"

Neither of them moved. Kurumi pointed at him with sparkling eyes in dead silence, and Kakashi just kind of... stared back at her.

Finally, wordlessly, he slowly leaned away from her, turned around, and headed into the kitchen.

What!!!

"Hey!! Kakashi, you have to be the clan head, you hear me? You're perfect for it! Don't you wanna be on the clan council? I bet it'll be fun!"

She did not think it would be fun. Kurumi would actually personally rather die than subject herself to that sort of thing. Anyone who willingly joined was crazy in her book.

"You'll love it! And Mikoto-sama totally supports it, so you can totally be political partners 'n stuff!! Hatake! Uchiha! Alliance!" Kurumi beamed, punching the air with each word. "It'll be way cooler than the Senju-Hatake one!"

"You met Mikoto?" Kakashi grabbed onto the topic change like a lifeline, looking at Kurumi with surprise.

"Yeah, Shisui introduced her to me!"

"You met Shisui? Ah — no, of course he would... "

"And Itachi and Sasuke, but Shisui was definitely the most fun. And Mikoto-sama was definitely the coolest."

Kakashi gave an eye crinkle that might have been a dry smile under that mask of his. "Ah, Mikoto really is 'very cool,' isn't she?"

"Right!!" Kurumi beamed, then scowled. She tossed herself onto the kitchen counter, where Kakashi had placed a few bags of groceries, blocking him from sorting through the food.

"Don't think you can change the subject! Kakashi, why aren't you official clan head yet?"

Kakashi leaned away from her, rubbing absently at the back of his neck. "Mahh, Kurumi, clan politics are kind of... I mean, I'm not the clan head anyways , so there's nothing to make official—?"

"Wha—? No, of course you are! By default, if anything!"

"Kurumi," Kakashi tried, looking pained. "You need to have an actual clan to be clan head of."

Kurumi growled.

"But you have a clan! The Hatake's are an established clan! We have a right to be on that council!"

"Hey, do you like fruit?" Kakashi tried desperately, hand darting around her to snatch up a box of strawberries from the bags of food. "It's your namesake, isn't that fun!"

"You can't distract me so easily, I'm not some toddler—!"

Kakashi wiggled the strawberry box in front of his face, as if it could shield him from her wrath. It was in... some kind of weird, flimsy looking clear container. Hrrg. New future stuff...

"... What kind of container is that in." Kurumi asked tersely.

"Oh? This?" Kakashi nearly fell over himself, shoving the clear box into her hands. She fumbled it for a second, the man's movements too quick for her to follow.

"Plastic! Wow, what a wonder of the modern world! Isn't that so interesting? Say Kurumi, we really should introduce you to more things, how about a walk? I think a walk sounds great, I'll just be outside—"

In a puff of smoke, Kakashi was gone.

Kurumi stared at the box of strawberries in her hands with an open mouth.

"Did he just run away from me?"

Laying on the couch, Pakkun snorted. "Told you it wouldn't be that easy."

----

Not even the fascinating sights of modern day Konoha could keep Kurumi's eyes from straying from where she continued to glare at Kakashi.

Kakashi refused to meet her eyes, leading her through a crowd, his hand in Kurumi's tight grip to prevent him from escaping her again. Even so, every time she tried to approach the subject he found something else to talk about or throw her at.

"I just think you'd make a great clan—"

"Oh look, a park! Kurumi , have you ever been on a swing set before?"

"Konoha clan laws says that—"

"What a beautiful garden! Did you see Mikoto's garden while visiting? I hear it's very impressive!"

"The Hatake's—"

"Ice cream! Kids like ice cream, right? You'll like this— Careful now, don't talk with food in your mouth!"

"It really wouldn't be that hard of a job if you really think—"

"Toys! You like toys, right? You're uhh— 6? 6 year olds love toys! Probably!"

"Shisui said you were the Yondaime's—"

"WOW LOOK AT THAT!! LOOK OVER THERE KURUMI!! LOOK AT THAT— THING! RIGHT OVER THERE! ISN'T THAT SO INTERESTING!"

By the end of it, Kurumi  stood panting in the middle of the street. A big dog plush under arm, half eaten ice cream cone in her hand, flower tucked into her hair and very, very out of breath.

She looked up to glare at an equally out of breath Kakashi, who looked about 3 seconds (or questions) away from a mental breakdown. Or maybe a murder. Possibly his own.

Kurumi took in one, big breath. "Being clan head—"

"RIVAL!"

"Oh thank god."

Kurumi couldn't help but gape as the brightest spot of color she had ever seen in her life came zooming towards them. A man in a skin tight, eye-searing green jumpsuit and possibly the worst haircut she'd ever seen.

And that was counting the impromptu haircut she'd oh so graciously given the Hyuuga clan hair with her kunai mid fist fight.

What a statement look.

"My most beloved rival! Is what I've heard true?!"

The man came to a stop before them, reaching out to physically grab and shake Kakashi enthusiastically. "Are you truly with child?"

"Am I what?"

"Pregnant, Kakashi!"

Kurumi dropped her ice cream.

"Am I WHAT?"

"Don't be coy, rival! You can trust me to keep a secret! However, I must inform you that by now, most of Konoha must have heard the... rumors..."

The man trailed off, finally seeming to have noticed Kurumi.

They stared at each other for a solid beat, before he staggered back theatrically, clutching at his chest.

"YOU'VE ALREADY GIVEN BIRTH—?!!"

Kakashi hit him.

---

"I see! What an odd misunderstanding!" Gai nodded enthusiastically. "Still, I'm happy for you Kakashi. To think you've found another piece of your family after so long, it truly brings a tear to my eye!"

"Maah, Guy..." Kakashi trailed off, seeming unsure how to really reply, but slightly pink underneath the mask. "It was definitely a surprise, that's for sure."

"And you seem to be taking care of her so well!" Guy beamed down at Kurumi, who was watching him with wide eyes, absolutely enraptured.

"It is an honor to meet you, most beloved child of my wonderful rival!"

"Ah, she's not really my—"

"Kakashi-nii takes really good care of me!" Kurumi chirped, looking up at Guy bashfully with big eyes, her head propped on her stuffed animal as she attempted to look as cute and childish as possible.

It seemed to hit, Gai positively glowing down at her as a hand came to clutch at his heart. "Such an adorable little shinobi! I'm so happy to hear my rival is taking care of you so well, but of course not surprised at all! Kakashi exells at anything he sets his mind to, I have no doubt that he'll make a wonderful big brother!"

Something odd played across what little of Kakashi's face that Kurumi would see. The man seemed to almost cringe for a moment before regaining control and settling back into a bashful, distantly pleased but still vaguely overwhelmed discomfort.

Kurumi didn't pay him much mind, she was coming to learn that Kakashi was full of odd expressions— Especially when it came to acknowledging Kurumi directly.

"So, Rival! What brings you out today? Buying supplies for your new charge?"

"Ah— yes! That exactly. Buying... supplies."

Kakashi squinted down at Kurumi, visibly struggling to think of what supplies for a little girl might actually mean. Kurumi didn't really know herself. Uhh... clothes? Probably? 

"Oh but first! Kakashi's friend, don't you think Kakashi would make a great clan head?"

Gai startled, visibly taken back by her question. "Kakashi, are you really considering...?"

Kakashi leaned away from the two of them, avoiding eye contact. "Maah, Kurumi seems to have some strange ideas about me leading the clan."

Kurumi scowled. "Because you should!"

"Kurumi, you already know what I said about the clan, not really... Mm, you know."

If it had been hard to pry an answer out of Kakashi before, when it was just the two of them in his kitchen, it was clearly going to be even harder to do so with his friend now here. Was he embarrassed? Of their clan—!? The thought alone left a bitter taste in Kurumi's mouth. 

"My rival, you already know that I truly believe there is nothing you won't excel at, once you put your mind to it. If you truly pick up the mantle of head of your family, I'm sure you will do better than any before you!"

Now, Kakashi looked well and truly embarrassed. Flushed beneath his mask and eyes glued to the floor so he wouldn't have to look at either of them.

"Not just the family," Kurumi corrected with a huff. "The whole clan! He's gonna be on the clan council and everything!"

"Truly?" Gai gaped, then grinned. "I'd expect nothing less from my rival! You certainly are the best of the best, Kakashi! To think you wouldn't just be satisfied with being the greatest among shinobi, but now you'll get to let the power of your youth shine bright even among the heads of Konoha!"

That seemed to be all Kakashi could take, the man suddenly disappearing into a puff of smoke, a log clunking to the floor where he'd stood just a moment before.

Both Kurumi and Gai started, before Gai let loose a big, bellowing laugh.

"Looks like my rival is as bad at taking compliments as ever!"

Kurumi pouted, kicking at the log Kakashi had been replaced with. "Coward."

"Ah, I believe your brother would call it a tactical retreat ." Gai smiled at her, and Kurumi couldn't help her own little smile that rose up in reply to Gai's infectious grin.

"Did you really mean it though? Do you really think Kakashi is the best of the best, that he'll be better than even all the other Hatake clan heads?" Kurumi prodded, eyeing the man.

She doubted anyone could be as cool of a clan head as the clan head of her time. But Haruka-obasan was really hard to top even outside of being clan head. Kakashi was pretty cool so far. Everyone she'd met had only nice things to say, from Shisui to Mikoto. But talking to him one on one... well, he was a little bit lame, huh? He had puppies instead of wolves, didn't even live in the compound, and he kept running away from her!

"Trust me, Hatake-chan." Gai's voice drew her from her thoughts as he settled a big, reassuring hand on her shoulder. His grin did not grow or lessen in brightness, but it still suddenly felt a little bit more soft and genuine all the same.

"My rival is the best man for just about any job. There are few who can match his skill and passion, and if he chooses to lead your clan I have no doubt that he will be the best you could ask for."

Kurumi looked from the hand on her shoulder to the smile aimed at her, then gave a slow nod.

"Now then! Would you like me to help walk you back to your home?" Gai laughed. "I believe my rival will need a bit of time to recover and think over your request."

"No thank you!" Gai was certainly fascinating but... Kurumi kind of thought she needed her own bit of time to think things over herself.

Besides, she couldn't do her usual snooping around town if some big loud guy was hovering over her shoulder!

"I should be fine, thank you for the offer."

"Well, get home safely then! And give my apologies to Kakashi if I came on too strong, will you?"

"Will do!"

Kurumi waved as Guy wandered off, the girl slipping back into the motion of walking down Konoha's streets. They were growing emptier now, the sun beginning to set on her first full day in future Konoha. And what a day it had been! Ugh, Kurumi felt like she'd done so much already.

But there was only more to do, starting, of course, with getting Kakashi on that council!

Kurumi tightened her grip on the big plush toy she'd been given as a failed distraction, plucking at its white fur absently.

She just didn't understand why Kakashi was so against it! Wasn't being clan head just the coolest thing ever? You get to be all cool and powerful, know all the clan secrets from the wolf vault, everyone has to listen to you, and you get the clan head stripes!!

Stripes...

Hmm... did Kakashi... not have his stripes yet?

Kurumi paused.

People continued to walk past her, mostly ignoring the little girl standing still in the middle of the path.

Kakashi said his father had died when little. How little was little? It had to be pretty young, since Kakashi didn't know much of anything about the clan— but was it young enough that he'd never gotten his stripes?

A Hatake usually got them at around 14 or 15, after leading their first hunt as an adult. Kakashi wore that mask of his, so there was no real way to tell if he did have any stripes under there.

Did Kakashi not have any stripes?

The thought of it left Kurumi a little unsettled. Yeah, some Hatake chose not to have any— there were a couple members of the clan who'd never gotten theirs, be it for personal reasons or just plain not wanting to.

But everyone had the chance to earn their stripes.

Even Ojisan had gotten the chance to earn his stripes, recognizing him as an adult and a Hatake in the eyes of their clan. They were important, they meant something.

Like Ojisan's silent tiger stripes, painted in sharp strokes across his face to mark him as both predator and protector in equal measure. One of the few stripes named for an animal other than the wolves the clan was known for; the perfect match for Ojisan, with his big cat summoning contract.

Like the twins clever hunter stripes, looping around their fingers and accenting their eyes in sharp and delicate strokes; Offering them luck in their own delicate workings.

Like Haruka-obaasan's mountain stripes, drawn sharp and solid across her back and arms, declaring her an unmovable force of nature— as tall and proud as a mountain.

Kurumi herself burned with excitement for the day that she received her own stripes. A night where she'd lead her first ever hunt, the clan at her back, then have the clan's priest adorn her with stripes that spoke to who she was at her core under a bright, full moon.

If Kakashi had never had that— well.

Kurumi couldn't fathom it.

She'd just have to ask to see his stripes is all! He wore so many layers, it was probably just buried under all those clothes!

Hopefully.

Kurumi grimaced, and continued walking. But the girl only took a few steps before a loud clang distracted her.

She turned, glancing down an alleyway, towards where the noise had come from.

There was a faint grunt, then a happy exclamation that sounded like it came from someone younger than her.

Kurumi looked back down the road, towards Kakashi's apartment, then again down the alleyway where she could now hear a faint, happy humming.

Straying from the road, Kurumi peeked into the alleyway. She was just in time to see a little blonde boy leap up triumphantly from a big, iron box that smelled of trash.

He crowed happily, holding something up from the piles of trash in clear victory.

Kurumi tilted her head, curious despite herself.

Well, Kurumi wasn't exactly in a rush , now was she? Might as well take a peek closer at whatever this blonde kid was doing before heading back to Kakashi's house.

Really, what was the harm in that?

Chapter Text

Today was kind of a sucky day to be Uzumaki Naruto.

To be fair, a lot of days were sucky days to be Naruto. Being born with a face that seems to make people angry just for looking a certain way tends to do that.

But today was especially sucky because Naruto had gone and lost his super special good luck charm—!

He'd spent so long struggling to climb up the building, only for his charm to fall out almost as soon as he managed it! Right into the trash too...

Naruto looked down from his perch on the rooftops, eyes straining to find even a glimmer of his charm where it had fallen into the dumpster in the alley below.

He gasped as a flash of green caught his eye, leaning over the edge to get a better look— only to lose his balance. He let out a yelp, tumbling over right into the dumpster with an oof and a clang.

Owww...

He groaned, rubbing at his head as he sat up, making a face down at the trash he'd landed in. He'd gotten pretty lucky, everything was still in bags, so he didn't have to deal with any yucky slime like the last time he'd ended up in a dumpster!

Scratch that, he'd gotten super lucky, because laying right at his foot was his super special lucky charm—!! Naruto let out a happy cry, scooping up his charm with a big grin.

His prize glinted back at him, an extra shiny rock he'd partially colored green using "borrowed" paints from the teachers closet. If you squinted, it kind of looked like a frog! Hehe...

It was totally the coolest thing he owned, and protected him from all sorts of bad stuff! Like bad luck! And other bad stuff probably, but mostly bad luck!

Naruto held it up with a happy hum, watching it glint in the light.

"Cool rock!" A voice right behind him said, and Naruto jumped— fumbling his rock and almost dropping it back into the trash before he caught it with his super quick ninja reflexes.

He whirled around, defensive, only to be greeted with the face of some grey haired girl with slightly mismatched eyes.

The girl tilted her head, watching him as she kicked her feet playfully, dangled from the side of the dumpster.

"Whatcha doing in all this trash though?"

Naruto made a face. Kids her age were almost always extra nasty, stealing his things and hiding his homework. He doubted this weirdo stranger was much better. He'd never seen her in school before though, so maybe she was a boring old civilian! So Naruto could totally take her with his super awesome shinobi skills!

"None of your buisness!" He shuffled away from her, hiding his rock away between carefully cupped hands.

"Aww, don't be like that! I just wanna see your neat rock!"

"Hmph." Naruto couldn't help the happy flush that rose to his cheeks as she confirmed what he already knew— "It is pretty cool."

"Yeah, so c'mon I wanna see!"

"I guess." Naruto eyed her, still suspicious but also eager to show off his lucky rock to someone who might actually appreciate it.

"Oh!" The girl tilted her head and squinted, then grinned. "Hey, if you squint it kinda looks like—"

Naruto lit up, practically vibrating "Yeah!! It looks like—"

"A dog!"

"A frog!"

Naruto gaped, offended. "A dog? No way, stupid! It's a frog!"

"No, look— See, it totally looks like a dog! It even has the cute little hind legs!"

"Those are frog legs!"

"What? No, you're totally seeing it wrong!"

"It's my rock, you're the one seeing it wrong!"

The girl pouted, and kicked a foot against the dumpster with a stubborn clang.

"Fine, it's a frog then! That still doesn't answer whatcha doing in a trash box. Are you treasure hunting?"

Naruto frowned. If he said yes, would she make fun of him for it? He wasn't now but he did sometimes. People threw away really good stuff is all!

"Not right now, this place never has anything good."

The girl lit up. "Oh! Do you know all the good places to treasure hunt through trash?"

Naruto eyed her, suspicious. "...Maybe. Why?"

"Uhh because I wanna know, duh."

Ok, well she didn't have to look at him like he was stupid.

Still, having someone so visibly interested in the things he liked... Naruto couldn't help but puff up with pride. "I guess, maybe I could tell you. Cus' I'm so cool and awesome, I mean."

The girl snorted, but it didnt seem like a mean, 'I'm making fun of you' snort, so Naruto ignored it.

"I'm Kurumi!"

"Chu-roo-me?"

Kurumi frowned. "No, Kurumi. Like a walnut!"

Naruto frowned right on back, squinting his eyes and jutting out his lip as he made a face at her. "Whatever, Churumi."

"It's Ku-roo-me, get it right brat!"

"Nyeh, whatever. I'm Uzumaki Naruto, make sure to remember it!"

Kurumi paused in her pouting, instantly perking up at his name. "Woah, an Uzumaki? For real? You totally don't look like one, I never would have guessed!"

Naruto faltered. "I wha—?"

"Hey, are you related to Mito-hime? Gotta be, right?"

"I don't— You know my family?"

"Uh duh, you're an Uzumaki!"

"Yeah, I am! But— you know them?"

Now Kurumi really was staring at Naruto like he was stupid.

"You're an Uzumaki." She repeated, like that was all she needed to say, then frowned when Naruto didn't seem to magically understand what she meant.

"They're only one of the biggest clans ever? Super famous? Even an idiot who couldn't tell the difference between a byakugan and a sharingan would still know who the Uzumaki are."

Naruto... didn't know what either of those things were, actually. But he was too busy staring open mouthed and being so overwhelmed that he was a bit dizzy with it to bristle at the implication that he was stupid.

A thousand different questions bubbled up inside him, a million different things he wanted to say. But what made it's way out was a small, vunerable, "I've never heard of them before."

"Seriously?" Kurumi gaped, looking almost unsettled at the concept.

"No ones ever told me anything about my family before! I didn't even know I had a clan!

Kurumi continued to stare at him, jaw dropped and visibly put off.

"Ok, well we're changing that now." She said, leaving no room for argument— not that Naruto ever would.

"Never even heard of them before, that's disgraceful!" She scowled, and Naruto shrank back a bit. Kurumi's scowl only grew when she saw the way he wilted, and she shook her head.

"Not you! Just— The whole thing! Never even heard of them! The Uzumaki!"

The girl dropped from the side of the dumpster, motioning for Naruto to follow.

"Come on kid, I've got a lot to tell you."

Ok so maybe Kurumi didn't have a lot to tell the tiny Uzumaki about his clan. To be fair, she didn't really know much more than your average person; but apparently Naruto really did know nothing, so even her practically-nothing knowledge was enough to impress him.

As they walked through the streets of Konoha, slowly meandering towards Kakashi's apartment, she did her best to tell him what she did know.

That the Uzumaki were famous seal masters, the best of the best.

That they lived on an island called Uzushio, in the land of whirlpools. Where no one could come or go without special permission due to their super impressive shields and the whirlpools that surrounded the island, which only experts could navigate safely.

That their clan leaders held titles of royalty, bestowed on them by the Daimyo forever ago for reasons Kurumi didn't actually think she'd ever been told.

That the best way to spot an Uzumaki was by the clans bright red hair and famously large chakra pools.

(That last one had Naruto reaching up to touch his own blonde locks with a disappointed face. But it quickly vanished as Kurumi continued to scrabble together everything she could remember of the clan to share with the boy.)

Naruto ate it all up with wide eyes and a hungry expression, which made Kurumi scrape her mind for anything else she could feed the kid.

"It also means you're related to Mito-hime! Though I really dunno how close."

"Mito-hime?" Naruto asked, his words tinged with half awe and half hope.

"Yeah! She's the first Hokage's wife! Princess Uzumaki Mito, she married into the Senju right before Konoha was made!"

"A real princess?" Naruto looked a bit struck dumb at the thought, then let out a yelp as the rest of what Kurumi  had said hit him. "The first Hokage—?!? F-For real?"

"Hehe, yep! Hey, maybe she's your grandma or something! The Uzumaki are always so stingy about leaving their island for too long, I seriously doubt they all came to live in Konoha, so there's probably only so many who could have been your parents!"

Naruto didn't seem to notice the odd phrasing of her words as she speculated about whether the Uzumaki had come to the village or not. Possibly because he was a bit too young to really focus on the discrepancy, but equally as likely because he was busy being incredibly and very thoroughly distracted by just about everything she'd said so far.

Oh hey, and if he was directly related to Mito-hime, then they might be technically close enough to count as cousins if she really wanted it to count?

By marriage and through a technicality, yeah, but that's why she'd used the word technically!

Then again, technically if you started counting marriages and ignored how far apart the branches got, you could really draw lines through pretty much every major shinobi clan out there. So, maybe she shouldn't reach with this one.

But again, it wasn't like it was likely that Naruto was directly related to Mito-hime— Kurumi seriously doubted that the Senju would let him go if he was.

Although— she frowned.

"So you said you don't know your parents, right? And no one's ever mentioned the Uzumaki to you before?"

"Yeah, believe it!" Naruto kicked at the floor, scowling. "I didn't even know I had any sort of clan at all! D-Do you really mean it... that everyone knows who the Uzumaki are?"

"I mean, I figured." Kurumi frowned, trying to think of a reason Naruto wouldn't have been told, but drawing up a blank. "They're kind of important."

Kurumi squinted at Naruto, trying to guess his age. He was kind of like, baby aged. Maybe he just... wasn't old enough for anyone to bring it up to him?

Adults could be weird about that sometimes.

"But maybe they're smaller than they used to be now?" Kurumi continued, thinking out loud, then paused. "Ah—! I mean, I study old history, is all! So, my clan lessons are a little out of date!"

That seemed to distract Naruto, the boy perking up curiously. "Clan lessons?"

"Yeah! It's a super important part of any clan kids education! You gotta make sure you know all sorts of things about all sorts of clans, so you know who you're supposed to be friends with and who you aren't!"

"Huh, why can't you be friends with some clans?"

Kurumi tried not to roll her eyes at Naruto's naivety, he was still just a little kid. Still, it was a bit hard not to giggle.

"Cuz of history, silly! What do you think would happen if you got two guys from clans who totally hate eachother in one room?"

"Uhh, they'd... fight?"

"Yeah! So you gotta know who might want to fight you because of your clan! And you also gotta know who'd want to help you just because of your clan."

"That seems kind of stupid..." Naruto grumbled, wrinkling his nose, and Kurumi really did roll her eyes this time.

"Just think of it like this then, you totally have some people out there who will want to be your friends just because you're an Uzumaki!"

That seemed to grab the boys attention. "R-Really?"

"Yep! Umm, lemme think." Kurumi frowned, trying to think of any clan other than the Senju who the Uzumaki had ties with. It was surprisingly hard, but to be fair they were a clan from Wave, not Fire or Iron country, which were really the only countries she'd been taught any real details of. 

"The Senju, obviously, are allies with them. The Uzumaki married their princess to the first Hokage, after all."

"Mito-hime." Naruto mumbled, audible awe lacing his words, and Kurumi nodded.

"I guess you can count any traditional Senju ally then? But like, lightly. I dunno if they ever officially joined the big alliance or anything. Oh hey! You can totally count my clan if you want! I mean, it's only me and Kakashi right now, and Kakashi totally won't say no!"

"You're from a clan? A-And they're friends with mine?"

"Hehe, yep! The first and second Hokage were both part of my clan, you know!" 

Well— Hashirama had never actually been accepted by the Hatake. But Kurumi wasn't going to start sticking to straight facts when she was bragging!

"I'm a Hatake! Only one of the coolest and strongest clans in Konoha!" Kurumi puffed up with pride, hand slapping her chest as a wide, smug smile overtook her face."

"Seriously—?!" Naruto gaped, and Kurumi's smile only grew wider.

"Yep! And since Hashirama married Mito-hime, that means our clans are allied too! Probably! I mean, even if they weren't officially, Konoha itself is kinda just one big alliance, so." She shrugged, blatantly ignoring how if she went by that logic, she was kind of contradicting like half of what she'd said so far.

Look, no one ever said she was good at clan relationship stuff! Man though, it sure was fun being around someone who just kind of took all her clan know how as fact, instead of immediately starting to argue, or poke holes in her words. She guessed that was just the side effect of talking to someone who didn't know anything about clans, versus the kids back home who obviously knew all the same stuff as her— and so were always willing to start fighting over the slightest itty bitty fib or stretch of words. Or three.

"A-And so, we're friends then? Since our clans are?" Naruto looked so hopeful it was almost painful, eyes wide and vulnerable as he stared up at Kurumi. 

"Yeah, sure! I mean, you're like a baby, and I'm not usually friends with babies,"

Naruto made an extremely offended noise, which Kurumi ignored.

"But I guess I can make an exception for you!" 

"Wha—! Hey, I'm not a baby!"

"Fine, so you're a toddler then!"

"I'm not a toddler either!"

"I dunno, only a toddler would get so mad when I call them a toddler." Kurumi stuck her tongue out at Naruto, who scowled.

"Are you sure you're really my friend, or is that just an excuse to bully me?"

"Bully you! Hey, don't insult me like that, I wouldn't bully a baby!" Usually. "Friends totally make fun of each other all the time! Just make fun of me back!" Probably. Kurumi didn't have many friends herself, so she honestly wouldn't be any sort of expert on the subject.

"T-Then, you're a baby!"

Kurumi stared blankly at Naruto, who stared back resolutely, red faced and huffy. Finally, realizing that was apparently the best the kid had, she gasped dramatically.

"Woah, good one Naruto, you really got me there! I'll never recover from that one!"

Naruto eased up on the intensity, apparently not registering a single bit of the sarcasm laced in her voice as he puffed up a bit and giggled to himself. 

"Hehe, no one gets away with dis-des-umm-"

"Disrespecting—?" Kurumi offered helpfully, and Naruto nodded with a grin. 

"Yeah, des-respectin' me!"

Kurumi couldn't help it, she snorted. "Oh yeah, don't let me tarnish your clan name. Can't let the Uzumaki go undefended."

Naruto perked right back up again at the reminder of his clan. "Yeah, believe it! I'll protect my clan name! No one will be mean to my clan!"

"That's the spirit!" Kurumi cheered, approving of his clan spirit. He'd known about his clan for all of 10 minutes and was already so loyal, what a good boy. Just as every shinobi should be, in her book!

"Oh!" Kurumi snapped her fingers, looking at the boy. "You said you don't know your parents, right?"

Naruto hesitated, his cheer being put on pause as he suddenly grew a bit cautious. "Yeah, I don't."

"Well, you can probably find out who your parents were pretty easy now, right?" She pointed out, and Naruto stopped in his tracks to stare at her.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"You're an Uzumaki, kid! Those guys are super flashy, and almost never leave their island. So there's probably only so many Uzumaki even in Konoha! All you need to do is find out what Uzumaki were around when you were born, and..."

"And then I can figure out which ones my mom or dad—!" Naruto finished, looking awed.

"Exactly!" Kurumi grinned, pumping her fist cheerfully.

"Easy peasy! And like I said, Uzumaki are super flashy. I bet there's a chance that whoever your parent was, they made some kinda name for themselves! Just start looking into Konoha seal masters or something, I'm sure something will pop up."

"Seal masters." Naruto echoed, starry eyed.

(He may not know what seals were, but master was a title that sounded real impressive)

"The best of the best!" Kurumi confirmed. 

"I'll totally find them!" Naruto swore, fists clenching. "I bet they were super strong, and— and— and I'll be a whatsit-master too, and make sure no one doesn't know I'm an Uzumaki again, believe it!"

"I bet!"

Kurumi grinned, then paused when she realized they'd arrived at her destination. 

Standing outside of the big, grey (ugly) building that Kakashi called home (for now) Kurumi turned to Naruto. 

"Hey, maybe we can ask my clan head about the Uzumaki!" After all, Kurumi wanted to know exactly how they'd managed to apparently disappear from the radar too. She really hoped it wasn't anything like what had happened to her clan, that'd be a huge bummer. For her and for Naruto. Which would suck for the kid, but also totally suck for her too!! Mito-hime was cool!

"Your clan head?" Naruto echoed, sounding hopeful. 

"Yeah! Kakashi totally knows all sorts of stuff! He was the last Hokage's student, you know!" She bragged, and Naruto's jaw dropped. 

"Seriously? How come there are so many Hokage's related to your clan, that's totally unfair!"

"Hehe, sorry, I guess we're just built different is all." They were, after all, the coolest clan— a matter in which Kurumi was obviously completely unbiased in.

"And your clan head knows about my clan?"

"I mean, he should. Everyone is taught about clans when they're— Umm."

Kurumi paused, suddenly remembering Kakashi's earlier confession about his dad dying young. About how his knowledge of even his own clan was... spotty at best.

"Maybe." She amended her answer, then shook her head, and turned, expecting Naruto to follow. "Come on! You can eat dinner with us!"

When Naruto didn't move, glanced over her shoulder to find him hovering, a strange expression on his face.

"Are... I mean, are you sure he won't mind?" 

"Huh? Why would he?"

Ok, so maybe Kurumi bringing some random toddler into the house last minute for dinner was umm... probably really rude, actually. But also Kakashi totally owed her for being so annoying about becoming clan head! Plus he'd just gotten groceries, so they totally had enough food, and it was honestly kind of his own fault for leaving her all alone. So.

"I mean—" Naruto opened his mouth, visibly searching for the way to say something. When Kurumi frowned, he shrunk in on himself a little.

"A lot of people... don't really like me very much."

"Is that all?" Kurumi asked, confused. "That's fine, lots of people don't like me either."

Mama said she had a very 'strong personality.' Maybe Naruto was just the same! Though he'd seemed pretty sweet so far, so...?

"R-Really?" Naruto looked up, almost hopeful.

"Yeah, but you can't account for bad taste! Kakashi will totally like you, I'm sure!"

"Um, if you say so, then I'll believe it!"

"Trust me," Kurumi chirped, all too sure of herself as she lead a still hesitant Naruto into the building.

"Kakashi will have no problem at all with you coming over!"

Upstairs, Kakashi felt a headache coming on.

Chapter Text

Kakashi felt like he was dying.

Two little faces stared up at him— one of them his most recent 'problem in my life I have no choice but to find myself thinking about day and night,' and the other face a long time holder of the title.

Possibly its winner overall, even.

Kurumi beamed up at him, either not registering the way he'd frozen solid at the sight of the companion she'd dragged home, or simply not caring.

From the little he'd learned about the girl in the short time they'd had together so far, he felt that he could rather safely bet it was the latter.

"Nii-saaannn" The girl sang sweetly, tugging Naruto in after her, and Kakashi flinched— both at the false title and at the movement of the boy.

The boy.

Naruto.

Who was in his house.

Naruto stared up at him with wide, nervous eyes. Seeming unable to hold his gaze for too long before it shifted away nervously, skittering around the room for a moment before darting back up again, as if to check to see if he was still staring.

Because he was staring. Very hard. He may also be screaming, but he was pretty sure it was just in his head.

"Kakashi!!" Kurumi pouted when her calls of big brother were ignored, rolling her eyes as Kakashi also seemed to ignore the call of his proper name.

The girl dragged Naruto forward, who went with her reluctantly— seeming to have grown suddenly shy under Kakashi's still frozen stare.

"I brought a guest for dinner! I found him in the trash outside."

Naruto flushed at that, turning to her with a pout that sent a bolt straight into Kakashi's heart, for all that it resembled Kushina's.

"Can I keep him? Pleeeaseeee?"

"I..." Kakashi tried to regain his bearings, somehow feeling even more intensely thrown off than when he'd first learned of Kurumi's own existence.

A beat passed. Then another.

He'd spent too long in silence, it was awkward now.

Still, both children stared at him. Naruto growing more and more tense with each silent second while Kurumi continued to blatantly ignore all the blaring warning signs.

Kakashi cleared his throat, trying to gather the few remaining scraps of his sanity (and dignity.)

"I don't think we have room in the house for an entire boy, Kurumi."

Naruto visibly shrunk back, ducking his head as his shoulders rocketed up to his ears.

"For keeping. I mean. He's..." Again, Kakashi cleared his throat, mouth suddenly painfully dry. "He's welcome to stay for dinner."

Immediately, Naruto's head popped back up, eyes wide and shiny with surprise. "S-seriously? I mean— Hey, there's no take backs, y’know!"

Kakashi let out a high pitched "Hm." that was probably supposed to be a confirmation but ended up coming much more strained than he meant to.

Nothing else to do, he turned and fled to the kitchen, metaphorical tail between his legs. Two pairs of eyes watching him go.

"See?" He heard Kurumi chirp as he made a hasty retreat. "I told you he'd let you stay!"

"He hates me!" Naruto insisted, the defeated words sending a kunai straight through Kakashi's heart. "Maybe I should just go."

"Whaa? Don't be stupid, at least stay for food. Everyone loves free food!"

"I do like free food." Naruto admitted with a mumble, and Kurumi laughed.

Kakashi was quickly beginning to associate her laugh with an oncoming headache. He almost wished she'd just stuck with harassing him over the clan head thing— he'd take literally anything over this .

Oh god, Naruto was in his house.

His sensei's kid, Kushina's son, was inside Kakashi's home.

He... technically wasn't breaking any rules having him here though, right? Since Kurumi had been the one to drag him there...? It wasn't like Kakashi lured him home, so no laws had been broken on his end!

...He kind of doubted that would go over well with the Sandaime. Forget with elder Danzo, who had been overly invested in keeping Naruto isolated for years.

Kakashi thumped his head against the kitchen wall, trying to drive away the stress that gripped him.

At least if he thought about the impending doom that was the Hokage inevitably finding out he'd let Naruto into his home, he wouldn't have to actually think about the fact that Naruto was currently inside his house.

He gave his head another thump against the wall.

"...What's wrong with you?" A voice piped up behind him, sounding more curious than worried.

The fact that Kurumi's sudden appearance behind him made him twitch a little in surprise only proved how deep Kakashi was inside his own head.

"Nothing, Kurumi. Go entertain your guest." Kakashi didn't even bother to hide the strain in his voice, which only seemed to make Kurumi  more curious.

"Our guest, you mean. Who's in the bathroom now by the way, I told him to go wash his hands." She prodded him. "Our guest who you know for some reason, even though he didn't know you."

Oh god, please do not let Kurumi decide this was what she was going to be curious about for the next 5 hours before she got distracted again.

Please , Kakashi would accept her hounding him to be clan head again, he would accept her not so subtly judging him for how 'good' a Hatake he was, he would take literally anything over the current turn of events.

Great sage if you are real, Kakashi would devote the rest of his lifetime to your worship if you just let him have this one thing, just this once.

Oblivious to his prayers, Kurumi narrowed her eyes at him in clear suspicion. Continuing to voice her thoughts as Kakashi felt his soul wither away in real time.

"He's only a kid, there's no way he could have done something to upset you so bad on his own, especially since he doesn't even know you. But it's not that you don't like him, is it? You're acting weird, but not 'I secretly hate this guy' weird. So it's something else..."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Kakashi power walked towards the cabinets, trying to drown out Kurumi with the clattering noises of pots and pans.

Kurumi pointed at him accusingly. "Don't think I dont realize that somethings going on here."

"Well, I better get started cooking!" Kakashi steamrolled over her, flicking on the stove dial with so much intensity that he heard the plastic crack.

He stared at the now chipped dial for a second before deciding that this might as well happen, and continued.

"What kind of food do you like to eat?"

"Hmmmm." Kurumi narrowed her eyes further, but still replied. "I like red meat."

"Great," Kakashi replied, a little forceful. "We're having noodles with vegetables."

"Wha...? Hey, why did you even ask, if you weren't going to—"

"Go entertain our guest, Kurumi!"

"He's in the bathroom still! What, do you want me to break down the door?"

"If it will get you out of the kitchen!"

"You're so bad at hiding things." Kurumi huffed, sounding offended.

In Kakashi's defence, he may be a bit better at hiding things if Kurumi would stop throwing his triggers directly into his face with no warning, blasting air horns and ignoring all social niceties like there was no tomorrow. Not just throwing but really going the extra mile to rub his face in them too.

God Kakashi hated kids. Was this karma for his own miserable attitude as a child?

Probably.

Naruto sat on the bathroom counter, staring at the paw print patterned towel wrapped up in his hands. 

His hands were already dry— had been dry for a good minute now, but he kept rubbing them into the towel anyways. Buying time.

He couldn't hide in the bathroom forever! But also... maybe he could?

Coming here had been a stupid idea. He didn't know why he'd said yes. That Kakashi guy obviously didn't like him, even if it was a lot more mild than most people.

Naruto jolted out of his thoughts as Kurumi knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hey, are you done yet? I'm getting bored out here, y'know!"

"Um—! Yeah, one sec!"

Naruto made a face into the mirror.

"C'mon, you got this." He whispered to his reflection, and dropped the towel. He gave his cheeks a light slap, trying to hype himself up, before jumping back down to the floor and opening the door.

Kurumi stood outside the bathroom, looking amused.

"Come on, Uzumaki! Kakashi's making us some food, so let's play a game while we wait."

Naruto perked up at that. "A game?"

"Yeah, sure! Kakashi has to have something around here to play."

Kakashi did not, as it turned out, have any games for them to play.

Kurumi stared at him with such blatant disappointment in her eyes that it almost made Naruto feel bad for the guy. But Kakashi was still refusing in Naruto's general direction, so actually he didn't feel too bad about it after all.

"How can you have no games?"

"Why would I have any to begin with?"

"What, so you have no friends to play with?" Kurumi sniffed. "I guess that makes a few things make more sense."

Kakashi didn't seem to know how to reply to that, so he just didn't. Now ignoring both of them as he turned to the pan he was in the middle of heating. Using a wooden spoon to shift around something green set to simmer in oil.

(Yuck, Naruto hoped they wouldn't be eating vegetables. Was it too much to wish for ramen? )

Kurumi went quiet for a moment. A thoughtful pause that instantly made Kakashi suspicious.

"Oh, well that's fine. We can always play a word game— like a question game! I'll go first."

"Hey, what if I wanna go first!" Naruto interrupted, but Kurumi ignored him, which made Naruto huff.

"Kakashi," Kurumi tilted her head innocently. "What happened to the Uzumaki?"

Kakashi dropped the pan.

"Oh, that's my question too now!" Naruto announced, thrusting a fist in the air, but Kakashi was too busy fumbling with the hot pan to hear it.

He scrambled to catch the vegetables he'd been in the middle of sautéeing before they could hit the floor, splashing hot oil on himself in the process and grabbing the rim of the still hot pan in a genius move that left his hand a painful red.

The pain was easy enough to ignore, being who he was. But fuck if it didn't burn like a bitch.

"Um." Kakashi fought for something to say, literally anything to get him out of this situation.

Silently, he debated the pros and cons throwing himself out the window to escape.

"You know what? I probably have something you kids can play around here. Somewhere. Just— Give me a second."

"Hmm." Was Kurumi's only reply. Slow and suspicious.

"What? Wait, but I wanna know about the Uzumaki!" Naruto scowled, waving his arms around.

"Don't worry Naruto, I bet Kakashi will tell us alllll about it when we're eating!" Kurumi said cheerfully.

Throwing himself out the window was looking more and more attractive by the second.

It took him only a few minutes of panicked searching before he found the card game Shisui had forced upon him during their last mission together. It was hiding in his bookshelf, tucked behind several thick volumes of older romance novels he’d originally bought because he’d run out of new Icha Icha to read.

He threw it haphazardly towards Kurumi , who jumped to catch the cards before they could scatter everywhere. Kakashi almost wished he’d thought to open the pack fully, to make sure they scattered. Maybe picking up cards could get the girl to shut up for a little bit.

“Ooh, cards! Hey Naruto, wanna play wolf and sheep?”

The name made Kakashi pause, itching at something in his brain he couldn’t quite remember.

“I don’t know what that is.” Naruto pouted, scooting forward to peer at the cards as Kurumi plopped down on the floor and began to sort through the cards.

“It’s pretty easy! It’s sort of like normal jacks, but Hatake style. Which makes it wa~ay cooler.” 

“Well I dunno what that is either.”

“Man, you really don’t know anything, huh?” Kurumi stuck out her tongue, but seemed pleased that she’d get to be able to teach him something new.

Naruto, meanwhile, got offended. “Hey, I know plenty of stuff!”

“Yeah well you’re about to get to know a whole lot more, so hush up and listen!” 

Kakashi found himself lingering as Kurumi began to explain the rules of the game, separating out the ace as their ‘wolf card.’

“Lots of clans will have different rules for similar games, especially cards. It’s pretty neat, actually. I think the Nara have a similar set to us, but named after deer? Figures.” 

At Naruto’s not too well hidden expression of confusion, Kurumi rolled her eyes.

“That’s the smart guy clan, basically. Where we have wolves, they have deer. Kinda, anyways. Some of them are pretty ok, but they have some weird rules ‘n stuff, and a lot are pretty formal. Not as bad as the Hyuuga though, ugh.” 

Kurumi paused her sorting of the cards just to make as dramatic a face as possible, scrunching up her nose as she stuck out her tongue.

“You never wanna be on a Nara’s bad side, because they’ll totally find a way to ruin you— if they have the motivation for it.”

“Huh!” Naruto leaned in closer, to get a better look at their ‘wolf’ card. “Do lots of clans have different animals?”

Kurumi had to think about that one, actually. “Umm… kinda? Every clan has their own ‘thing,’ but not all of us have animals. Plenty do, though. Now that I think about it. Snakes, dogs, bugs, deer… Yeah, plenty do.”

“What about the Uzumaki?” Naruto perked up, bleeding curiosity. “Did they have an animal?”

Kakashi nearly bashed his head in on the doorway.

Had Kurumi told Naruto—?!

No, but, of course she had! Of course she would! No one had told her not to , and she was nothing if not free with information. 

Kakashi didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just throw his hands up and say “I give up!” and throw himself out that ever tempting window. 

Maybe all three. 

Or, maybe a secret fourth option: Falling to his knees and begging for forgiveness.

Forgiveness from Naruto, forgiveness from Kushina’s ghost— he didn’t know which.

Fuck. Fuck! Well, there it was! Naruto knew— something. 

The knowledge sat oddly in his chest.

Naruto knew something.  

Sarutobi’s plan was going up in flames, and Kakashi… couldn’t bring himself to be truly upset? 

Distressed, maybe. But when was he not? He hadn’t been the one to fuck this up, though… he probably should have tried to shut down the current (still ongoing) conversation.

‘Maah, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi tried to picture himself saying in front of a fuming Sarutobi. ‘You just don’t know Kurumi , I couldn’t stop her once she started. She’s very pushy like that.’ 

A perfect defence, really. 

(Kakashi wasn’t sure if he should thank Kurumi for taking the matter out of his hands or cry because he knew his own Kurumi-induced Uzumaki question-filled reckoning was still on its way.)

And what did Naruto know exactly? Kakashi wasn’t too sure, and in the time he’d spent freaking the everloving fuck out, Kurumi had continued to talk. 

“—really big, you know? One of the main clans, honestly. I mean, they lived all the way in Wave , and they’d try to keep to themselves, but we would still hear about them all the way in Iron country.” 

Naruto stared at Kurumi, just barely able to hide the fact he had no idea where Wave or Iron were. Any confusion about the specifics were overshadowed by the sparkles in his eyes as he listened to her talk about his clan.

“They have a whole island, all to themselves. I’ve heard some people say it’s sorta like how Konoha is! But the only clan that lives there are the Uzumaki, plus I think a few other really small ones that swore themselves to the Uzumaki, and were kinda integrated because of that. So, ya know, they had a lot going for them.”

“But no animals?”

“If they had any specific ones, I dunno them. I’m… really not an expert on the Uzumaki though.” Kurumi made a face, like she was annoyed to admit it. 

“But, I know Mito-hime has— um, had, a crane contract! And most summoning contracts are passed down through families, especially when it comes to important clan big shots like hime-sama. Oh, and I think they had something going on with foxes? Sometimes I’ll hear people talking about Uzu foxes and their bells, but I dunno what that’s really about.” 

“Cranes and foxes.” Naruto breathed, near reverent, and Kakashi kind of felt like he was going to throw up. 

“Anyways!” Kurumi passed Naruto a stack of cards. “Here are your cards!” 

Naruto blinked down at them a little dumbly, still looking dazed and dreamy eyed with everything he’d been told. He fumbled with his cards as Kurumi happily continued to explain the rules of the game, but seemed to only absorb half of everything she said.

Kakashi could relate.

“Ok so, this is our wild wolf card. And all of our other cards, those are our sheep. And the wolf card goes in the stack to draw, and if you draw it then it’ll eat the first three cards you’re holding, see? Which you don’t want, because you’ll have to play those cards for points.”

“Are we sheep people?” Naruto tilted his head down at his cards, curious.

“Shepherds, and yeah! Our cards are our flock, and when we play them, it’s like we’re selling them at the market. You wanna line them up right for more points, like this…” 

Kakashi found himself lingering awkwardly in the doorway of the kitchen, listening to the girl explain the rules to a game that— as she explained, seemed to become more and more familiar to Kakashi. 

Had he… played this before? He couldn’t remember ever playing it before, but if he had, he would have been very, very young. 

(And admittedly, Kakashi did not have the best memory of most things from before his father died. Both because of how young he’d been, and because he remained unwilling to think of pretty much any of that time of his life. Ever.)

“...But we can also trade our cards, to try and get the line ups we want to play at the market. But , and this is the fun part, both of us get to choose one wolf in sheep’s clothing . Basically, pick out one of your cards that you have a double of.”

Kurumi held up two identical cards for Naruto to see. 

“I have two of these cards, so I’ll go and set one on the floor, to prove it’s the card I chose. And then the card that I kept, that’s my wolf in sheep's clothing. And if I manage to get it into your flock, then I get to either kill or steal three of your sheep!” 

She demonstrated, setting one of the cards onto the ground, face down, and shuffling the other back into her own hand.

“But how am I supposed to know which one is your wolf?” Naruto scowled, squinting down at the quick moving cards.

“You don’t! You can avoid my wolf in sheep's clothing card by just not trading with me, but , since we are shinobi…”

Kurumi grinned, and pointed at Naruto’s hand. Naruto followed her eyes, confused. That was until Kurumi flipped over the wolf card she’d left on the ground, and he gaped— suddenly realizing she’d managed to somehow slip the matching wolf card into his own hand. 

“There’s more than one way to get my wolf into your hand.” 

“What?! When did you—? How is that fair!” 

“Bleh.” Kurumi stuck her tongue out, grinning. “It’s not, dummy. You’re a shinobi kid, aren’t you?”

“I-I mean,” Naruto wavered, then scowled. Pumping his fist as he declared, “Yeah I am, believe it!” 

“Then play the shinobi way! As long as you can get your wolf into my hand without me noticing, it counts! I’ll even take it easy on you.” 

“Nuh uh, I’ll beat you no matter how hard you try!”

That seemed to amuse Kurumi. “Hehe, sure you will.”

“I will, believe it!” 

Kakashi continued to watch the kids as Kurumi began to reshuffle the cards. Lost in his own thoughts, trying to remember if his father had ever taught him the rules of this game. 

Hatake style cards.  

He knew several other clan styles of different games. There was also, of course, the more common Konoha style, a mish mash of rules from several clan card rules, smooshed together into something everyone could collectively agree on. But different clan rules and games persisted, and it was hard not to learn more than a few, with their prevalence. 

Uchiha style had always been his personal favorite, their cards named after different gods, with Amaterasu as their trump. 

They also had some other, more secretive card game Kakashi had been… lucky enough to learn, with Obito’s gift. 

Taught to him by a tired looking Fugaku after Rin’s death, after his sharingan had somehow evolved, even in its stolen form. A game introduced to him as a rule-set they taught their children, to teach them to the many forms and stages of the sharingan and the different abilities they might one day possess. 

“The sharingan.” Fugaku had pressed the card to the table, looking Kakashi straight in Obito’s eye. The first Uchiha to have done so thus far.

“It can be exchanged for many other cards, its potential near limitless. But each stage it achieves requires you to sacrifice your other pieces.” 

Kakashi had stared at the card dully, before slowly reaching out to pull it towards him.

“Most will never evolve past a certain point. They simply do not have the potential.” 

‘We believed you would never reach the point.’ Kakashi had heard the unspoken words. ‘A stolen sharingan should never work so well, should never be able to evolve.’  

“But a few can reach stages of power… unimaginable.” 

Kakashi felt his nose wrinkling at the bitter memory. The game itself had been— fine. Educational. But the circumstances… 

He hated to think of it. 

He shook his head, righting himself from where he’d begun to lean on the wall, lost in thought. As he did, his nose twitched. Wrinkling further as an odd smell hit him.

Kurumi and Naruto were quick to notice it as well, Naruto leaning back to peer over the couch towards Kakashi. 

“Is something burning?”

Fuck.

Kakashi nearly tripped over his own feet as he re-entered the kitchen, yanking the pot he’d left simmering on the stove off of the open flame he’d forgotten to lower. The vegetables were charred now, though still salvageable. Ish. 

Fuck.  

Kakashi didn’t care about eating something like this, but… was he allowed to feed it to kids? Specifically to Naruto?  

The very first meal he’d ever make for his sensei’s son, and he’d managed to fuck it up. Of course he had. Why would he have ever expected to not manage to fuck up such a simple task, when that was all he ever seemed to do?

“I thought you were supposed to be good at cooking.” Kurumi commented, suddenly right behind him, cards still in hand.

“I’m fine at cooking.” Kakashi defended, scraping away black char from the bottom of the pan.

“Uhh, yeah. Sure.” Kurumi said, words heavy with doubt.

You know what? Suddenly, Kakashi didn’t have as much of an issue with feeding the half burnt meal to Kurumi. 

Though… maybe he should just toss this and try to make something new? For Naruto’s sake, if any. How could he dare to feed his sensei’s son a burnt meal?

“Hey, maybe this is your sign to just give up and cook something more tasty instead!” Kurumi brightened.

Kakashi was going to finish cooking the goddamn pasta.

“And maybe this is your sign to go play with your friend!” Kakashi retorted, turning to place his hands on Kurumi's shoulders to bodily push her from the kitchen.

“Hey, c’mon!” Kurumi argued, but made no real effort to stop Kakashi from pushing her away. Sliding across the floor as she tilted her head back to pout Kakashi’s way. 

The girl sat back down with Naruto in a huff, tossing her cards down and rolling her eyes.

“Whatever, c’mon Uzumaki, let’s play already.”

Chapter Text

Awkwardly enough, when it came time to set the table, Kakashi found that he didn't have enough plates for all three of them.

He opened the cabinets, searching for maybe a bowl to substitute his own plate with, only to also find none.

Did he... not have any bowls?

Thinking about it, Kakashi suddenly couldn't remember the last time he'd actually cooked a proper meal.

And the few times he bothered to, he'd usually just eat it straight out of the pan.

Kakashi was not dealing with the judgment Kurumi would probably aim his way if he ate out of the pan while serving them on actual plates.

He tried to find something else to use, and finally settling on a big, glass mug. He wasn't too sure where he'd gotten it from, but was pretty sure it was "borrowed" from... someone's house. He didn't really remember who. Probably Genma's, to be honest.

As he scraped the meal out onto their plates, making sure to section the more charred bits of food into his own cup, Kurumi called out from the room over.

"Kakashi, come play with us!"

"I'm cooking, Kurumi!" He called back.

"You're a shinobi," Kurumi scowled, bowing backwards in her seat to aim an upside frown towards the kitchen. "You can multitask!"

When Kakashi didn't dignify that with a reply, Kurumi straightened, sticking her tongue out at Naruto.

"This guy is so lame, I'm sorry if I tricked you into thinking he was cool or something. I take back everything I said."

Did she think he couldn't hear her or did she just not care if he did? Kakashi feared he already knew the answer.

Finished plating everything, Kakashi took a moment to stare at the kitchen wall blankly. Half trying to hype himself up, half willing away the oncoming nervous breakdown he could feel creeping into his bones.

...It was never too late to run away.

Kakashi jolted back to himself, shaking his head vigorously.

He was not about to run away from a couple of kids.

Not yet, at least.

(Besides, this was the closest he'd ever been allowed to stand to Naruto without an ANBU mask firmly affixed to his face. He couldn't... quite bring himself to give that up, not just yet.)

"Food is done." He called out, taking up a plate in each hand.

There was a scramble as both Kurumi and Naruto all but threw their cards down, eager to eat.

Kakashi hesitated for a moment as he realized he wasnt actually too sure where they would be eating. He didn't exactly own a dining table, after all.

Should he direct them to the little counter space between the kitchen and livingroom...? But he only owned one barstool, so one of them would be stuck without a place to sit.

Hhg. 

After a momentary delay, he went ahead and just shoved both plates into the childrens hands, trusting them to figure out themselves.

If they got noodles on the floor, he'd just ask Pakkun to lick it up. Fool proof plan.

Neither child seemed to notice anything wrong with the arrangement. Naruto quick to find a place on the couch, clutching his plate to his chest with wide eyes. Kurumi meanwhile stayed on the floor, grinning down at her own plate like a girl who hadn't been fed in weeks.

Part of Naruto wanted to complain about how much green there was on his plate. But most of the other parts of him were way too hungry and way too excited to see fresh, hot, free food in front of him.

Still, he couldn't help but narrow his eyes at the food. Poking at it with his fork suspiciously.

Kakashi tried very hard not to be offended by the skepticism being aimed at his lovingly cooked meal.

He left Naruto to poke through his food, returning to the kitchen to emerge with his own cup. Something that immediatley made Kurumi cock her head.

"Are your dishes dirty?" Kurumi squinted at Kakashi's own mug of noodles, looking confused.

"No."

"Are they all broken?" Naruto chimed in, looking more curious than anything. "My stuff breaks a lot too, y'know."

"It's— yeah, sure." Good enough an excuse, please stop looking at him now.

"Ok but how did you break all of your dishes?" Kurumi pried.

"Don't worry about it."

"But now I'm worrying."

"You'd worry less if you ate the food I made you."

Kurumi ignored him, continuing to prod like he'd never even said anything. "Why didn't you just keep it in the pan? That'd probably be easier to eat out of than a cup."

Kakashi resisted the urge to scream.

"Eating out of the pan is pretty fun!" Naruto mumbled, finally shoving a forkful of food into his mouth, before freezing. He nearly dropped his fork, then readily scooped up more of the noodles to shovel into his mouth, talking with his mouth open.

"Woah, this is pretty good!"

"Is it?" Kurumi asked, successfully distracted as she squinted down at her own plate.

Well she didn't need to sound so doubtful.

"Chew with your mouth closed, Naruto." Kakashi said weakly.

"Oops, sorry." Naruto replied, mouth still full of food.

Kakashi wavered, standing awkwardly before both children as he was suddenly forced to choose where he would sit.

Not on the couch, where he'd be sitting closer to Naruto than he'd ever been without his ANBU mask.

Not on the floor, where he'd be even more in reach of Kurumi's skeptic looks.

...Kakashi remained standing.

Kurumi finally took a bite of her own food, pausing for a moment before letting out a quiet "huh."

"Not as bad as you thought?" Kakashi asked, only a little smug.

"Thank you for the food, nii-san!" Was the sickly sweet response he got, which Kakashi chose to see as her admitting defeat.

His eye still twitched a little at the title anyways.

"Yeah, thanks for the food, mister!" Naruto chimed in, still with food in his mouth.

"Gross , close your mouth already, come on." Kurumi stuck her tongue out at him, wrinkling her nose.

Naruto turned a little red, wiping his sleeve across his face clumsily. "S'rry, its just really good!"

Kakashi tried very hard not to explode with the overwhelmingly embarrassed smug pride hearing those words filled him with. Kushina and Minato-sensei's kid liked his cooking.

"Sooo anyways," Kurumi's sing song broke through the slow growing glow around his heart. The girl pointing her fork towards him in a way that Kakashi couldn't help but feel threatened by. Anxiety slowly creeping back up his spine as Kurumi finally asked the dreaded question.

"Hey Kakashi, you should tell us about the Uzumaki already!"

Naruto and Kakashi both froze. Both for two very different reasons.

"Ah."

"Yeah!" Naruto looked at Kakashi, glowing with a painfully sort of shy hope. "Chrumi—"

"Kurumi." Kurumi corrected, but was ignored.

"—said you um, you knew about my clan?"

"I..." Kakashi's mouth went completely dry. Both children stared at him, waiting. The words that left him felt out of his control, heavy on his tongue and extracted with a pain similar to pulling teeth. "I know... of them."

"You do?" Naruto jerked upright, round eyes turning all the more hopeful.

Kakashi felt like there was a noose tightening around his neck.

"They— They were a very prevalent clan, once."

"Were a prevalent clan?" Kurumi echoed, a look of sudden dread overtaking her.

"They, well, they aren't really— Really around, anymore." 

"T-They aren't?" Naruto looked crush, eyes locked onto Kakashi, pinning him into place. 

The rope around Kakashi's neck grew tighter and tighter with every second that the little boy looked at him. 

"They— I don't, I don't really know much, I'm sorry." 

"But you know something!" Naruto cried, looking just as distressed as Kakashi felt. "Please, Kakashi!" 

Please, Kakashi. 

How many times had he heard Minato cry that out? Kushina?

Please, Kakashi, trust your sensei. 

Please, Kakashi, call me Kushina-nii. 

(Please Kakashi, watch over Naruto.)

"I can't— I'm sorry, you should really ask someone else, or, or maybe look for a book on clans? Or— Maybe the Hokage—?"

"The Hokage?" Kurumi muttered, audibly confused. 

Neither Kakashi nor Naruto paid her any attention, focused only on eachother. 

"Then— Did you know my parents? Did you know an Uzumaki? Any Uzumaki?" Naruto was tearing up now. Big blue eyes watery and unsure, tears threatening to fall any second. "T-They're super rare, and cool, and they probably liked cranes, or foxes. And they were probably a seal master, and had red hair, and maybe even blue eyes like me—"

Kakashi was one of Konoha's best shinobi.

He'd graduated at 6, made ANBU at only 13, and then captain at 16. A rising star of his generation— the rising star of his generation.

He'd gone through every interrogation training Konoha had to offer, had been put through rigorous testing to make sure he could resist just about any form of torture— mental, physical, spiritual, chakra.

He was one of the highest ranked, well trusted, tight lipped nin in all of Konoha. Had stood at the shoulder of not one but two Hokage's, been the trusted confidant of one and a trusted hand of the another.

Kakashi, faced with tear filled eyes the same shape as Kushina's and the color of his Sensei's, felt something crack inside him that no torture or interrogation could ever managed to break.

"I'm not supposed to say."

It just slipped out. An admission he immediately regretted.

"Why can't you?" Naruto cried, tears finally spilling down his cheeks.

Across the room meanwhile, wearing a shrewd expression that did not quite match her years, Kurumi had stilled. "Not... supposed to?"

"I—" Kakashi's voice cracked, and he felt like crying too. "I'm sorry, I—"

The room was growing tighter around him, the noose around his neck so tight he felt as if he couldn't breathe. Naruto's raspy sobs lanced through his chest with each ugly hiccup. 

"I'm sorry, Im sorry, I just—" 

"Why can't you?" Naruto half demanded, half pleaded. "Please, I just want to know about my family!" 

"I can't, I can't." Kakashi whispered it like he wasn't sure if he was reciting a prayer or a curse. He backed up, hip knocking into the counter and sending a jolt of pain through him that finally seemed to help him regain some sense. The cup he'd been holding fell to the floor, food splattering out from it as the glass somehow resisted shattering.

"I'm sorry, Naruto." 

Kakashi dissapeared in a puff of smoke. Running away yet again, tail tucked between his legs. A coward and a failure, just like he'd always known he was. 

Naruto's quiet, raspy sobs were the last thing he heard as he finally made that escape out through the window. 

What the actual fuck had just happened. 

Kurumi stared despondently at a still weeping Naruto. Holding her half-eaten plate of food in her hands awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say. 

The silence on her end itched at her skin, Naruto's continued tears making her squirm. She tried to think of something to say, but all that she could manage to dreg up was a painfully awkward,

"Um. So. That was a lot." 

Naruto turned to her, tears blasting and snot running down his nose. 

Agh.

"I ruined everything!" Naruto sobbed, and Kurumi's entire brain froze.

He huh and a what now?  

"I ruined everything, and I made him run away and I'm sorry, I just wanted to know—"

"Woah, woah, woah! Slow down, Uzumaki!" Kurumi abandoned her plate onto the couch, hands waving in a frantic attempt to get the boy to stop. "You didn't ruin anything, I promise! That was like, super weird and super painful yeah but you didn't do anything wrong!" 

At least, she didn't think so?

"But— But—" 

"Kakashi is just shy, and um— I mean, there's obviously something he's not telling us. Or not allowed to tell us." Honestly, the guy couldn't have screamed ' I'm being suspicious!' any louder, in Kurumi's opinion.

"A-Allowed...?" Naruto's tears were slowing down a bit, the boy looking at her, visibly confused. 

"Yeah, didn't you catch it? He said he's not supposed to say. Which means someone told him not to talk about the Uzumaki." 

"B-But how come?" 

"I dunno, but whatever the reason, it's super suspicious, right? And you know what else it means?" Kurumi's hand came up to her face, fist resting against her chin as she proposed her theory. "That guy totally knows something about your parents." 

Which was— a lot. Said a lot. Either Kakashi knew knew something, was close to it even, or Naruto's parents were some kind of big shots who he'd known of. That 'powerful seal master' theory was starting to sound more and more plausible...

Either way, something smelled real suspicious, and real big. Kakashi looked like he was about to start crying, had run away like he was running from some invisible executioner's block. Even thinking about it... It kind of made Kurumi feel bad? Ugh, she didn't wanna think about the fact she may have maybe possibly pushed a teeny bit too hard on buttons she didn't really understand.

"Are you sure?" Naruto whispered, barely able to hope. 

"I'm positive."  

Man she really hoped she was right though, it'd really suck if she was wrong about this and giving false hope to some poor little orphan boy. That'd be like, super fucked up actually. 

Naruto swallowed hard, and Kurumi crossed her arms. 

"Either way, it's just like we talked about! All you gotta do is ask around to people about if they know, or maybe knew about any Uzumaki! Kakashi obviously knows something, so I bet there's for sure some other people who gotta know what’s up, and eventually you’re bound to run into someone who’ll spill!” 

“Y-Yeah, I guess— I guess you’re right, Churumi.” 

Kurumi huffed. “Kuuu-rooo-meee, come on Uzumaki, I’m helping you find your clan, aren’t I?”

“Th-That’s what I said!”

“Ugh, whatever.”

Naruto sniffled, wiping at his eyes. "I—I should go home anyways. I have school tomorrow, believe it." 

Kurumi stared at him blankly. "You have what." 

Naruto stared back at her, just as confused. "School...?"

"School." Kurumi echoed, uncomprehending.

For some reason she'd been under the impression that Naruto was like, some normal, probably poor-ish kid. It was probably the 'met him while he was digging through trash' + orphan combo. Shows to know what she knew, she guessed. 

School. Ok, mr big shot. 

"You know," Naruto frowned, finally distracted from his upset by confusion. "The academy?" 

 “The academy.” She parroted.

Both children continued to stare at each other blankly.

“...The one everyone goes to?” Naruto was starting to give her that ‘are you crazy?’ look, but Kurumi only returned it tenfold, jaw dropping.

“Everyone? Wait, wait, hold on, everyone goes to school? You have an academy that everyone goes to????”

“Yeah?? Do you not?!”

“Uh, duh? I’m way too cool for that? Wait, are you serious, everyone goes to it?”

That was insane. That had to be a lie. No way there was some sort of school where they made all the kids go to learn— that sort of thing was for prissy rich kids and nobles! Well off families! Clans who had too much free time and money! Did Konoha seriously grow to have its own school?

…Kurumi didn’t know whether to be impressed or horrified.

“I mean— I skip, sometimes, I guess, but jiji always makes me go back.” Naruto pouted, very clearly upset with her implication that him going was uncool.

“What do you even learn there? Why don’t you just get yourself a real sensei or something?” 

“We do have a real sensei!” Naruto argued. “And then we’ll get a for real shinobi sensei once we graduate, believe it!” 

“You have to graduate??” Kurumi exclaimed, horrified. “But what if you fail, do you just not get to be a shinobi?” 

“I mean— I guess?”  

Horrible. Awful. Terrible. What cruel and unusual punishment was that? Who had thought of such a horrific institute!? How had they convinced the clans to actually send their children there??!

Kurumi tried to imagine someone convincing her mother to send her to school— or worse, her mother trying to send her to school —and turned a little green. 

“You’re way tougher than I thought, to go to something as awful as that.” She finally said, and Naruto puffed up in pride.

“I’m real tough, believe it!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I believe it.” Kurumi rolled her eyes, and the both of them settled into an awkward silence. 

“So I should—”

“If you want, you could—”

They both stopped, and Naruto hesitated, shuffling his feet. “Um, thanks for your help ‘n all. I’ll… see you later?” He peeked up at her a bit hopefully, and Kurumi grinned. At her smile, Naruto’s hopeful look grew even stronger

“Hey, y’know, I’m pretty invested in this now too! So I’ll for sure be seeing you later, Uzumaki. I’ll quiz Kakashi and see what I can find out for you, so make sure to do your own investigations— I’m invested now.” 

“I will! For sure!” Naruto clenched his fists, glowing with determination. “I’m gonna ask everyone about everything, believe it! I’ll find out about my clan before you can, for sure!” 

Kurumi laughed. “Then we’ll just have to see who can find out the most quickest, won’t we?” 

The sun was starting to peek its shy head over the horizon when Kakashi finally returned home. 

Kurumi, sprawled out on the couch instead of the bed she’d been given, jerked upright the second he came through the window.

He stared at her. She stared right back.

Kakashi slowly began to ease his way back out the window, and suddenly Kurumi was on her feet— waving her hands in the air frantically. 

“Wait! Wait! Wait!”

Kakashi paused, and Kurumi took a breath. Steeling herself and pushing away the pride that squirmed unpleasantly in her chest. 

"I'm sorry."

The words were meek. Kurumi avoiding making eye contact, looking instead at her shoes when she said it.

Kakashi didn’t say anything, but began to slowly ease himself back through the window, into the apartment. It… wasn’t an acceptance for her apology, but it was probably the best she’d get from him. 

“I just wanted to help out Uzumaki, and, I mean, I was curious about what happened too. Did they really…?”

Kakashi nodded his head, and she wilted.

So the Uzumaki also… 

Man. What a future, huh?

“I’m sorry if I was pushy. Or um— Made you think about things you didn’t wanna think about.”

“You… didn’t know.” Kakashi allowed, voice low and subdued. 

Apparently taking the allowance as permission to press, because clearly she had learned nothing, Kurumi bit her lip nervously. "Were you close? With an Uzumaki?"

Kakashi stared at the wall, unable to look his cousin's way. He'd never explained it to someone before. Never told the story.

He didn't want to— Didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to think about it. But even so, everyone who mattered already knew the story. How could they not?

Student of the Nidaime, sole survivor of team 7, friend killer Kakashi.

It wasn't rare, for an entire team to be wiped out. Depressingly common, really. Especially in the war.

But team 7's untimely demise had been one of the most high profile. Each death and explosion of gossip and drama all on its own.

Rin and Obito, who both died in missions that ended up being monumental to ending the war. Obito leaving behind an eye shaped bloodline-theft fueled mess of politics, and Rin leaving in what ended up being an S+ ranked mission, with the 3 tails involvement.

Minato— didn't even need to be explained, really. A Hokage and his wife who died to protect his people from the demon fox. There was no higher profile than that.

And Kakashi, left behind clutching a tattered box of memories to his chest. The last one standing, having witnessed each death with his own eyes. (Having felt their blood staining his hand, again and again and again.)

Unable to find his words, Kakashi only shrugged. Kurumi forced herself to accept the non answer, even though she itched to know more.

"Um, well, Uzumaki left. He's going to school, can you believe that?" 

"Is it that crazy to believe?" 

"Uh, duh? Seriously, who's idea was that? The academy, I mean? Probably someone evil."

Kakashi's lip almost twitched. "The Nidaime's, I think."

"Ugh, seriously—?!"  Woah, was this what betrayal felt like? This was so messed up. Ojisan, how could you?!

"Did you not attend then?" 

"It's not even a thing in my time!" Thank the sage for that. "I probably wouldn't even need to anyways, I'm already a shinobi!" Kurumi huffed, tossing herself back onto the couch.  "School. Ugh, can you imagine?" 

"Maah Kurumi, you know, if you stay any longer we might have to send you there yourself." 

Instantly Kurumi shot up, pointing a threatening finger Kakashi's way. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare. I will burn that place down to get out of it, I will, I really, really will, don't you even think about it." 

School. School. Her, go to school. 

Kurumi tried to picture what it might look like, in her time specifically. Her in some stupid little classroom with a bunch of stupid little kids... What if the Hyuuga heir was there? They'd probably have no choice but to kill each other, and it'd be the school's fault for daring to put them in the same room together to begin with. 

Ugh, poor Uzumaki, doomed to such a terrible curse... Not only was the kid an orphan, not only was his clan some sort of crazy mystery to him, but he also had to go to school.

Personally, Kurumi couldn't think of a worse fate.