Archive of Our Own ^beta

Naruto glanced at the clock again, only to realize a mere 15 minutes had passed.

What had gotten into him today? While he was not a patient person by nature, he had the tendency to get absorbed in what he did, meaning he was not often so conscious of the passage of time. Finalizing the arrangements for the Chunin exams wasn’t the most exciting of jobs, but it was hardly the worst of what he had to do working in Kakashi’s office.

Of course, there could be another reason why he was feeling so antsy today.

He glanced at the clock again. Only 10 minutes had gone by this time. Naruto groaned.  

“Enough” Ino snapped, looking over from her side of the desk “What has gotten into you today? You’re fidgeting like you’re 12 again.”

Naruto felt an immediate surge of guilt. Ino could be hot tempered at times, but she’d evened out over the years, so her to have such a strong reaction, he must have caused more of a disturbance than he realized. “Sorry Ino, you’re echoing my own thoughts, I don’t know…”

Shikamaru snorted, and Naruto shot him a curious look. While the three of them had grown much closer since they started working together, it was still unusual for him to willingly join a conversation like this one.

Ino seemed to agree “What are you laughing at?”

“I just wonder if it might not be better for all of us if Naruto leaves early today.”

Ah, of course nothing slipped past Shikamaru. That damn genius. Not that Naruto had anything to be embarrassed about.

Ino looked between the two of them “What is it? Another date with Hinata today?”

With that comment, Naruto felt even more reluctant to answer her. Shikamaru could have laughed or made a joke about the comparison, and the fact that he didn’t make Naruto appreciate that it was him here and not someone like Kiba who would have never let this go.

“You’ve come so far from our childhood days, Ino” Shikamaru told the girl.

“What do you mean?”

“Back then, you would have been keeping track for sure” Shikamaru explained before turning to Naruto “But Sasuke’s coming back today. Isn’t he?”

Naruto could feel the grin spread across his face, which seemed to be answer enough.

“Ohhh” Ino said, shaking her head with a smile too “No wonder you’re acting like that. It’s been a few months now, hasn’t it?”

Naruto hummed in agreement. It had been seven months since Sasuke had left on his latest missions. Even when he wasn’t constrained by the nature of his missions, Sasuke wasn’t one for frequent correspondence, regardless of how often Naruto bugged him about it, so it was essentially seven months with next to no communication. Naruto knew that even the hawk he’d received earlier confirming with him that he was coming back today had been a significant thing for Sasuke to do. But damn him, was it so hard to send a letter from time to time?

When they were teenagers and he’d been chasing Sasuke all around the world, he had this image that him being back in Konoha would mean they would have a life like their team 7 days. Not that he’d really think about the details of how that would be possible. He’d just imagined that they would be seeing each other often, if not every day.

Things hadn’t really played out that way though, had they? With Sasuke being gone for months at a time now. Not that Naruto had any right to complain about anything. He was still adjusting to this order of things he supposed, even though it had already been a couple of years, and he’d kind of hoped he’d be adjusted by now.

“Earth to Naruto? Hello?” Ino had managed to walk all the way to his side of the table and was shaking her hands right in front of his face without him having noticed, ninja instincts be damned.

He gave her a weak smile, and Ino raised her eyebrows in response “Wow, you’re out of it. Shikamaru has a point, just take the rest of the day off. We can take care of whatever needs to get done today.” Shikamaru made a sound that could be an agreement or a complaint, depending on whether you were a glass half full or half empty guy.

“I can’t do that to you two.” Naruto protested half-heartedly.

Ino shook her head “Trust me, the way you are now you’re hardly going to speed things along. Just go. Tell Sasuke he can thank me later.”

Naruto snorted “Like he is going to thank you for sending me his way sooner.”

Ino raised her eyebrows again, but didn’t say anything, and Naruto felt that weird tinge of embarrassment again. What was that about? It was almost like he was feeling shy about seeing Sasuke. Yeah right. Wouldn’t that be hilarious.

He did feel bad about leaving the other two with the work, but he couldn’t deny that he would only keep getting more and more distracted if he stayed. So, with a final thanks and a quick hug for Ino, he jumped straight out of the window and headed for the Uchiha district.

If Sasuke wasn’t back yet, Naruto supposed he could open the windows for him and make sure the rooms weren’t too dusty, though he knew Sasuke had someone come and clean them when he was gone for long stretches of time. Ever the self-sufficient lone wolf.  Naruto also entertained the idea that he could go and wait for him by the gates, though the bastard might not let him live it down if he did something so sappy.

***

In the end none of the deliberation was necessary. As soon as he got to the street, Naruto could see that Sasuke’s bedroom window was already open. He picked up speed as he headed straight there instead of the door, feeling the grin come back on his face. Almost immediately, he wondered how long Sasuke would be staying this time, but he tried to put that thought away for now. He jumped quietly and crouched on the window frame, half expecting Sasuke to immediately throw a few Kunais at him for not going to the front door.

Instead, he was faced with the sight of Sasuke’s sleeping body on the bed; his face turned towards the window, looking unusually defenseless in rest. Naruto felt taken aback by the sight. He just sat there for a moment and stared at the other man. He ran his eyes over him and quickly confirmed that there were no obvious injuries. Still, the fact that Sauske had chosen to sleep in his mission clothes was worrying. For Naruto, passing out after a mission was normal, but for Sasuke not having a shower or changing his clothes immediately after his return was unusual.

Naruto looked at the other man’s sleeping face. He looked pale, but no more so than usual. In fact, he looked altogether the same as the last time Naruto had seen him. Perhaps that was not surprising. Seven months was not so much time, it had just felt significantly long for Naruto. Every time Sasuke left for a long mission, Naruto was hit with this fear that he would change in some significant way before they saw each other again. Maybe it was a leftover feeling from the first time they had been separated as children, and how differently Sasuke had looked and acted when Naruto saw him again after three years.  

Naruto stepped into the room silently and walked closer to the bed. He was ready to crouch over Sasuke, to shake him awake or check him over for injuries again, he was not sure. But just as he was about to move and find out, he froze, a blade at his throat. Had Naruto’s reaction been a breath slower, he would have had a nice bleeding cut there on his neck. Still unmoving, Naruto let his eyes follow the blade to the hilt of the sword, to the long pale fingers holding the hilt, the long black sleeves where they stuck out from under the blanket. Then finally to Sasuke’s face, who still had his eyes still closed, but was now wearing a pronounced smirk.

“Hey Asshole.” Naruto said in a half whisper as if Sasuke really had been sleeping. He was confident he’d made no sound, but it’s not as if it was likely that anyone could sneak up on Sasuke, asleep or not. So, this wasn’t surprising but still, as Naruto looked at Sasuke, he was aware of how much his heartbeat had sped up at the sudden movement. He should have just stepped back from the sword’s edge, but instead for whatever reason, he just stood there, at the very edge of getting cut.

 Sasuke’s eyes snapped open, gazing straight at him. His smirk turned into something resembling a smile. Naruto grinned back. Sasuke sheathed his sword under the blanket - Of course he would sleep with it still tied to his side, the paranoid bastard - Naruto took a seat on the edge of the bed as Sasuke sat up. They shared a silent moment, and Naruto for once, just felt content to sit there quietly, and enjoy the fact that Sasuke was really here.

“What’s with that face, idiot?” Sasuke asked him, easy humor filled both his voice and his eyes. Naruto knew he’d been grinning pretty widely. He could feel it in how his cheeks stretched to each side but couldn’t be bothered to care. When he continued to stay at he was without saying anything, Sasuke raised an eyebrow “Don’t tell me you missed me that much.”  

He was teasing, and Naruto felt his worries abate at his easy tone, further assured that he wasn’t injured. So, he also opened his mouth to give a normal response, telling the bastard to shut up, maybe. Instead, he paused. Sasuke looked at him, looking more curious now.

“I did.” Naruto found himself saying. “I did miss you.” It felt odd to say, though not as odd as it would have once upon a time. Their friendship had softened since the days of the war, but still Naruto knew they weren’t the most likely pair of friends to express affection so openly. Reflecting this, he saw Sasuke’s eyes widen just a fraction in surprise.

“Yeah?” Sasuke asked after a moment, his smirk now back in full force.

Naruto picked up the pillow Sasuke had been sleeping on a moment before and threw it at his face “No need to sound so arrogant.” He huffed, standing up immediately as the other man laughed from beneath the pillow, having made no move to defend himself. “Bastard.” Naruto said as he walked out of the bedroom, the sound of Sasuke’s laughter following him all the way to the kitchen.

***

Naruto made himself at home in Sasuke’s kitchen. Everything was clean, but it was clear to him that Sasuke had gone immediately to the bedroom and slept after coming home. There wasn’t anything around in terms of food besides non-perishables, and the fridge was completely empty. He should have stopped and bought some groceries on the way, but he had been in too much of a hurry to think of it. Besides, Sasuke had always taken care of it when he returned.  The thought didn’t make Naruto great. Here was this simple thing that he could have done to help Sasuke, not just today, but all the times before. But he’d only thought of it now because for once the other man had not been on top of it. That was very much like Sasuke though. He always seemed so self-sufficient and just effective at doing, well, everything, that he didn’t get offered any help. But didn’t everyone need someone else to take care of them once in a while?

The thought made Naruto feel oddly melancholy. He found some tea in the cabinet, which despite being old still seemed good enough to drink. He put on the kettle to boil and took out some long-life ninja biscuits that Sasuke had left somewhere at the back of a drawer. Sasuke still had not joined him in the kitchen by then. Naruto washed two cups, poured the tea, and waited. Naruto had assumed Sasuke was finally changing out of his clothes, but as more time passed, he found his thoughts turning towards worry again. Had he really been alright? He’d seemed normal, but Naruto knew better than most that Sasuke had both a high tolerance for pain and a penchant for hiding it.

Just as he was considering going up to the bedroom again, Sasuke appeared at the door to the kitchen. He’d showered and changed into a black t-shirt and comfortable pants and had a towel around his shoulder.

“I was thinking you passed out up there.” Naruto held out one of the mugs to him.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows as he stepped forward to take it “Why would you think that?” 

Naruto shrugged “Sleeping in your dusty cloak, no groceries in the house, me sneaking up on you…”

Sasuke snorted but didn’t bother pointing out the last statement was a blatant lie. He took a sip of the tea and grimaced a little at the taste. Naruto had had a little before and honestly could not tell the difference from any other tea. He found himself laughing at Sasuke’s familiar fussiness.

“I pushed maybe a bit too hard in the last stretch of the journey. I was exhausted when I got in.” Sasuke said eventually, taking another sip.

Naruto sent him a questioning look. What would be pushing too hard for Sasuke? Getting from Sand to Konoha in a day? “I suppose you did always have a stamina problem.”

Sasuke for whatever reason snorted at this comment way too hard.

Naruto frowned at him. “What?”

Sasuke just shook his head “You never change Naruto”

Naruto felt a mild pang of irritation and almost snapped at Sasuke in response when he caught the look on the other man’s face. He was giving Naruto a smile that was downright affectionate. If only Naruto had a photo of this moment, he could… well he could probably sell it for a lot of money to some magazine.

“If you wear that look a little bit more around the village, we could probably re-establish your old fan club.”

“How fortunate for me.” Sasuke said dryly.

Naruto felt a little awkward as he scratched the back of his head “So, did you want to rest a bit more. I could go get you some groceries while you sleep?”

Sasuke gave him a strange look and was silent for long enough that Naruto felt even more awkward. “What? bastard, it’s a perfectly normal offer”

“It’s fine Naruto. I can do my own shopping later.” Sasuke smirked then “Besides, I don’t want to end up with cabinets full of instant ramen.”

“Your loss”

Naruto felt disproportionately annoyed. What was with him today? Sasuke was teasing, he knew, but why couldn’t he just accept the help? Though it’s not like Naruto was that excited about the idea of leaving Sasuke to sleep when he didn’t know how long the other man would be staying in the village.

“Naruto?” Sasuke cocked his head questioningly. Naruto snapped out of his thoughts to find Sasuke starting at him. “You seem unusually introspective today.”

Naruto snorted. “You’re not wrong.”

He had been so excited about Sasuke coming back, and it was good to be here with him now, but Naruto found himself in his head more than he’d expected to be. Then again, things had generally felt a bit off for him for the past few months.

“I suppose” Sasuke said eventually when it became clear Naturo wasn’t going to elaborate “That was my way of asking if you’re okay?”

Huh. Naruto looked at him in surprise. He’d expected Sasuke to just drop the topic. Slowly, he found himself grinning again. “What is this? You’ve gone soft in your old age?” This was the side of Sasuke that still surprised him from time to time, that very few he thought really got to see.

Sasuke simply raised an eyebrow and waited.

Naruto sighed “How long will you be staying this time?”

Sasuke seemed surprised by the question. “I’m not fully sure yet. Not long though, a few days? No more than a week.”

It was pretty much what Naruto had expected, but that didn’t help lessen his feeling of disappointment.

“Why does Kakashi keep doing this?” Naruto muttered.

Sasuke’s other eyebrow joined the first in the ultimate expression of Uchiha confusion^TM. “You know why.”

“Yeah whatever.” Naruto wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable. He expected Sasuke to tell him to stop being a child, but the other stayed silent. Naruto wanted to ask him how long he planned on continuing like this. Always taking on the longest missions, barely spending any time in the village. Forever? Why?

But it wasn’t like they hadn’t had that conversation before, or that it had ever gotten them anywhere. Naruto, for once, felt hesitant of spending their time rehashing an old argument when they had so little of it.

“How’s Hinata?”

The change in topic was so unexpected that Naruto felt himself snap out of his downward spiral.

“What? Why are you asking about her all of a sudden?” He looked at Sasuke, how could he still find the workings of this man’s brain so incomprehensible sometimes? After all these years.

“Aren’t you dating?” Sasuke asked, curious.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair “Yeah? I guess.”

“You’re not sure?” Sasuke asked, one corner of one lip going up. Amused. The Uchiha micro expressions; Naruto considered himself something of a world expert on the topic.

“No, we are. I was just confused why you’re asking”

“Isn’t this a normal topic of conversation?”

“I suppose, but like” Naruto narrowed his eyes at him “Since when are you normal?”

Sasuke snorted, not seeming at all offended. “You have a point there”

Naruto was struck, not for the first time, by how much this version of Sasuke resembled the one he’d met when they were 12. After all the years of teenage angst, he’d mellowed out again so much. Now he was much more likely to be amused than defensive when Naruto pushed him. Today though Naruto felt like his teenage self again, all dramatic and jumpy.

“Still, I believe this is what is expected when “catching up” after a significant period of time.”

Naruto couldn’t help but laugh. “You say that like you’re fully unfamiliar with most of those concepts”

“Hmm” Sasuke took another sip of his tea, even though it must have been fully cold by now. Predictably, this time he gave a full grimace and set the mug down on the table. “I suppose I don’t “catch up” with many people” Sasuke said neutrally.

“Well you know Sakura would love to see you later on, and Ino and Shikamaru said hi, in fact, most of the old cohort…”

“Naruto” Sasuke stopped him. “It’s by choice. You don’t need to make me feel better about it.”

Naruto took a breath. He knew Sasuke was telling the truth. How could the two of them be so different? He wondered, not for the first time. To this day, he still felt he needed the near constant reassurance that he was accepted, loved even, by others, while Sasuke seemed to barely desire any company. Was he never lonely?

 “If you need to know, I suppose I also asked about Hinata because…” Naruto looked up at the unusual hesitation in Sasuke’s voice. “…well, you seem lonely.”

Naruto was so struck by the words that he could do nothing but stare back at him. Sasuke added, as if in explanation “I wondered if it had something to do with your relationship.”

Naruto surprised both of them by laughing, and he found that once he started, he couldn’t stop until there were actual tears running from his eyes. When he finally calmed down enough to look at Sasuke again, the other man wore a look of such genuine confusion and concern that it set Naruto off again.

“Is it truly such an odd idea?” Sasuke asked once Naruto’s laughter finally quieted. He sounded so sincere, that Naruto had to focus hard not to laugh again.

Naruto shook his head “You’re traveling alone for months at a time, you don’t stay in touch with anyone that I know of, you barely respond to anything I send you, but you’re… worried that I seem lonely?” Naruto wasn’t sure why his tone sounded odd now, almost angry.

Sasuke gave him a look that he couldn’t quite interpret “We’re different people.”

“Yeah, you can say that again.” Naruto said, feeling oddly bitter.

“What is with you today?” Sasuke asked, a note of annoyance finally making its way into his voice. Well, it was good to know all that travel and time alone hadn’t turned him into a Zen monk just yet.

“Does it never affect you, all that time alone?” Naruto asked suddenly. “You don’t feel…?” lonely, isolated, displaced…

To his surprise, Sasuke seemed to consider his question “It does at times.” He said eventually, shocking Naruto even further.

“But it’s not as if I’m always by myself Naruto. I meet people. Other ninjas, civilians. Besides, I don’t see a better alternative. It is what it is.”

Naruto felt so sad all of a sudden, it took everything in him not to just lay his head on the table and close his eyes. He looked down at his lap for a long moment.

“I guess I just thought it would be different.” He murmured.  

Sasuke stepped forward, until Naruto could now see the other man’s bare feet in front of him on the ground, but he did not look up.

“You thought what would be different?” Sasuke asked quietly.

“Everything.”

***

They’d eventually moved to the living room, Naruto lay sprawled on the longest coach and Sasuke had chosen to sit on the ground by its head, so he was close but Naruto could only see him from the side. Not that that really mattered, he supposed.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Naruto asked him.

Sasuke shrugged “I don’t have any plans. I already gave the mission report to Kakashi when I arrived…”

“What? You were in the building?” Naruto asked incredulously “Why didn’t you come find me?”

Sasuke spared him a look “I figured I’d see you after you finished your work.”

Naruto huffed “How considerate of you.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow “I thought so. Didn’t you leave very early though? I thought you’d all be busy with the Chunin exams coming up.”

Naruto cleared his throat. He wasn’t particularly keen to explain how his early departure had come to pass. Why would Sasuke remember about the Chunin exams anyway? Just to make Naruto’s life harder, he assumed.

“It was just your lucky day” Naruto ended up saying, better not to overcomplicate the matter as Sasuke sometimes seemed to sense deception like a shark did blood.

That seemed to work as the other man made a vaguely amused sound but did not continue the line of inquiry. Small mercies.

“We could just do whatever you want.” Sasuke responded to his original question.

Naruto grinned at him. “Really? The whole day?”

Sasuke shot him a look “I will need to get food at some point, but yes, I suppose the whole day, if you plan to be here.”

Naruto huffed “Where else would I be?”

Sasuke gave him another one of his indecipherable looks but didn’t say anything. It brought to mind the look Ino had given him earlier look when he’d suggested Sasuke might not appreciate having the extra time with him. Which turned out, was completely correct given the bastard had been in the building and hadn’t even come to say hi. Then again, he seemed content enough to have Naruto here for the rest of the day, so Naruto supposed he could live. Naruto found himself humming, his earlier melancholy having evaporated without him really noticing.

“If you’re sure you don’t want to go anywhere, we could just take it easy, maybe watch a movie? Then we can go out for food.”

Sasuke nodded his acceptance, so Naruto, already knowing the TV was in Sasuke’s bedroom, jumped up. He held out a hand to Sasuke, which wasn’t really something they did, but after only a second, Sasuke took it without much of a reaction and allowed Naruto to pull him up to his feet.

***

Sasuke watched the credits running on the screen, and thought, not for the first time in his life, that the universe had a dark sense of irony. They’d put no thought into picking a movie, but of course, it had turned out to be…that. He felt the urge to snort but he didn’t want to answer any follow-up questions about the why of it, so he refrained.

Instead, he glanced at Naruto for the first time in a while. The blond was staring at the screen as if he had just seen a ghost. No, Sasuke thought, they had both seen dead people come back to life, and Naruto had not looked like this then. He looked paler than Sasuke did normally, and his eyes had widened enough that they took up half of his face, while his mouth had flattened to a line.

How long had been looking like this? The last quarter of the movie had captured Sasuke’s attention fully so he had no way of knowing.

“Naruto?” He called, his voice low and raspy after the two hours of silence.

The other man paid him no mind, continuing to look completely devastated. Sasuke felt his concern expand.

“Naruto.” He called again, and this time he reached over and grabbed the other man’s upper arm. Naruto turned to him, and then, as if the movement was all it took, tears started falling from the sides of his eyes in two streams.

Sasuke felt what in the privacy of his own mind he called panic. “Naruto!” He said for the third time, and despite his attempt to stay calm, he could hear the urgency in his own tone. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Naruto repeated. Did he sound angry? He was still crying. How had this happened? Sasuke gave the question real thought in the part of his brain that always felt like a neutral observer, while the rest of him continued to panic.

He forced his voice to stay calm. He could stay calm in the middle of any battle; he could certainly stay calm now. Shaking Naruto or panicking himself was unlikely to help the situation “Yes, Naruto, what’s wrong?” His voice came out much more evenly this time. Though it did not seem to have any observable calming effect on Naruto.

“Sasuke.” Naruto said. The anger in his voice had melted into what sounded like despair. Sasuke idly thought that it had been a long time since Naruto had had to say his name in that tone. Well, at least he hadn’t caused it this time. Not that he knew of.

“That was terrible.” Naruto said, glancing back at the TV where the credits were still running.

“Ah” Sasuke said, not sure what else he could add. So this was about the movie after all. Sasuke would have thought so from the beginning, but Naruto’s reaction had seemed too intense. Not that Sasuke wasn’t affected by the story, but the general concept was something he’d had plenty time to think about before, so perhaps it had not hit him as hard as Naruto.

There was a small part of Sasuke that felt a twinge of annoyance at the other man. Didn’t he have much less of a reason to be so upset by a story like this than Sasuke? Not that he would know that.

They’d chosen the civilian movie at random, neither of them being particularly plugged in to what passed for good entertainment these days. It was a simple story really, a woman married to a man she cared about, was reunited with a lost love for a day, only to have to let him go at the end. Sasuke had to admit even he had felt shaken at the final scene; the women sobbing in the arms of her husband after the other man had left. Presumably the two would never see each other again.

Sasuke snapped himself out of his reverie, remembering that he had wanted to take care of a still crying Naruto “Yes, it was quite tragic” Sasuke agreed. Though his tone sounded dry even to his own ear, which was unfortunate given he was actually sincere.

“I” Naruto started “Why is it…” He started again, and then stopped.

“What part is it that got to you so much?” Sasuke was genuinely curious, though if Naruto thought he was mocking him and got mad it would not be the worst outcome as long as it distracted the other man from his current state of misery.

“Don’t you think she should be with the person she loved? They loved each other since they were children too. He understood her so much more” Naruto asked him incredulously, though he had not expressed an opinion either way.

 “I got the sense that she was quite fond of the man she was married to as well. Loved him too even.”

Naruto looked like he would yell at him for a moment, and then, just as suddenly, he looked as if Sasuke had punched him in the gut and all the fight had gone out of him. Sasuke watching him in rising alarm, wondered if this was really all about the movie. Naruto had seemed off the whole day. A lot could have happened in the past seven months that Sasuke wouldn’t know about.

“I just think, if there is love like that between two people, shouldn’t they end up together, somehow?” Naruto said sadly.

Sasuke sighed, this was not a conversation he’d envisioned himself having with Naruto. “It doesn’t always work out that way.”

As if that wasn’t obvious. Sasuke certainly knew it in his blood and bones, though perhaps it was a good thing that Naruto didn’t. Though, hadn’t he been ‘in love’ with Sakura? and obviously he had not ended up with her. So, he should at least have thought of the concept. Then again, maybe that really had been too much of a childhood crush.

“I just don’t understand.”

“You wouldn’t” Sasuke’s thought slipped out before he could stop himself. Despite managing to keep his outward calm, the movie, combined with the earlier panic about Naruto’s emotional state had sapped his control more than he’d realized.

Naruto looked at him “What is that supposed to mean?”

Sasuke sighed “I didn’t mean it badly. I just meant, you’ve been dating Hinata for a while now. I presume you love her.”

Naruto’s eyes looked so comically shocked at the comment that Sasuke had to swallow an urge to laugh.

“I” Naruto, again, appeared lost for words. “I” He tried again, then he looked away from Sasuke.

“I didn’t mean to intrude” Sasuke said. The topic was certainly one that would come up in a conversation between friends, so he didn’t necessarily think he was intruding. But he agreed with Naruto’s earlier comments; They weren’t exactly normal friends, and Sasuke did not mind that they did not speak much about the intimate details of Naruto’s dating life.

“I only meant, perhaps as someone who is with the person they love, it is harder for you to comprehend that sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way.”

Sasuke looked at the wall in front of them as he spoke. The credits finally ended, and the room became dark and quiet.

“That’s an odd thing for you to say.” Naruto observed. Of course, he would choose this particular instance to be perceptive “Why are you saying that as if you understand the experience?” Naruto asked him. He had finally stopped crying. He sounded so serious that Sasuke found himself looking back at him and did not immediately think of anything to say. Naruto's eyes widened at Sasuke’s silence.

As they looked at one another, Sasuke was hit with a sudden pang of longing. One that had once been familiar to him, but that he thought he’d learned to bury. He imagined, not for the first time, but for the first time in a long while, what would happen were he to tell Naruto the truth.

It was of course not a real question, never had been. Just a fantasy. But Sasuke, despite his attempts in recent years, could never fully let go of his more masochistic tendencies. He still found the contemplation of painful, impossible fantasies addictive.

Naruto continued to hold his gaze. While he had looked surprised initially, the longer the silence dragged on without Sasuke offering a denial, the more astonished he looked. He looked as as if he had walked into his own house and found a completely unfamiliar space instead.

“But…how?” Naruto asked eventually, when it seemed to finally become clear to him that Sasuke did not have more to say on the matter “Who? Sakura?” Naruto asked, so incredulous that it was almost amusing.

Sasuke found himself smiling at his friend. The storm in his mind settling a little.

“It doesn’t matter Naruto. Like I said. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.”

***

Naruto felt so disoriented that when Sasuke left for the bathroom, he briefly attempted to dispel any Genjutsu that might have been placed on him, even though given Kurama’s protection, that should have already been impossible.

Why was everything turning out so strange today? First, why had watching that movie affected him so much? He’d felt as if his heart was getting ripped out of his chest. Naruto knew he had always been a fairy sentimental person, but not to this degree.

And then, Sasuke had said… He’d insinuated…What exactly? The idea was so strange that Naruto had trouble even forming the thoughts.

Sasuke had suggested that he understood what it was like to be in love and not have it work out.

Sasuke had been in love? Or he was still in love?

But how could that be possible?

 How could Naruto not know of something this massive in his life? He couldn’t even come up with a single person that he could realistically see awoking such strong feelings in Sasuke.

Perhaps he’d only been joking? Trying to distract Naruto from the way he’d been reacting to the movie. If so, it had certainly been a successful plan, and Naruto found himself grasping onto it as if he wanted it to be the truth.

Because otherwise… he felt so hurt.

Did he truly know Sasuke so little?

Love.

Naruto wasn’t sure he even fully comprehended the idea of being in love.

I presume you’re in love with her…

Was he in love with Hinata? He was certainly fond of her. Being with her…it was easy, he supposed. He felt loved by her in no uncertain terms, and that was something he needed. Not all of them could be like Uchiha Sasuke, fully independent of the need to know you were loved and accepted by others.

Except, apparently Sasuke had been in love, and Naruto Presumed he had wanted to be loved back.

The idea was preposterous, in more ways than one. It was not just Naruto’s complete inability to think of a possible person. Sakura? Karin? Or perhaps, Naruto thought suddenly, Suigetsu? Jugo? Sasuke had not given any signs to suggest he was interested in anyone of any gender. Naruto had just assumed…that he wasn’t interested.

Did Sasuke have sex?

Why was Naruto thinking about this?

No, he forced himself back on his original train of thoughts. Even if he couldn’t think about a potential person, Naruto had to consider the long stretches of time when Sasuke was away from the village. Hadn’t he just told Naruto earlier that he met people; Ninjas, civilians?

Naruto had to face, once again, how little he knew of Sasuke’s life. Sasuke could have met a person, fallen in love with person. A person Naruto knew nothing of. Had they been together? But then it hadn’t worked out.

Which brought Naruto back to the second reason why this all seemed ridiculous. Because who wouldn’t love Sasuke back? Why wouldn’t it work out for Sasuke, as he had put it?

Naruto supposed he could have seen that happening back when Sasuke was a teenager. All that single-minded drive to vengeance, all that rage, it could have scared some people away, not that it had ever had that effect on him.

But Sasuke, as he was now?

He had always been attractive, intelligent and… well cool. Naruto had seen how he affected others, since they were little more children. But he’d also been closed off, not showing others much more than those qualities. Now that he no longer seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder, Sasuke was so much more. He was funny, he could be surprisingly affectionate and thoughtful when he cared about someone, and he, clearly, even given just everything that had transpired today, had grown to be emotionally mature, reliable in the face of even the most emotionally turbulent people.

So, Naruto supposed, it was hard to imagine him not being with someone for any reason besides his own choice.

Then again, maybe ‘his love’ was reciprocated, but there were other issues in their way. His nomadic lifestyle? But that was Sasuke’s own decision…

Naruto supposed sometimes things could be complicated between Ninjas and civilians… But it seemed odd for Sasuke to let something like that stop him.

Why was Naruto getting so worked up about this? He felt such a maelstrom of emotions that it was hard to pick any out.

He felt, he supposed, heartbroken. For lack of a better word.

Why though?

Maybe it really was because it made him feel he knew so little about Sasuke’s life. But though it was a part of it, that alone did not seem enough to elicit this feeling.

Maybe he was heartbroken for Sasuke.

What would it mean for Sasuke to be in love? Naruto knew what he was like when he turly cared for people. He had after all watched Sasuke’s back as jumped in front of life-ending attacks for him more than once. For him to be in love with someone, Naruto could not imagine what he would be willing to do for someone like that.

And he couldn’t be with this person?

Yes, Naruto thought, as his friend, it made sense for him to feel this hurt for Sasuke.

That must be why he felt heartbroken.

***

It was only when Sasuke came back, that Naruto realized he’d been gone too long for a bathroom break. Had he gone to have a cry over his lost love?

Before Naruto’s imagination could really get the best of him, Sasuke announced that he’d ordered some food, though he could also be persuaded to leave and eat somewhere outside if Naruto was so inclined.

He was, in other words, acting completely normal. Not at all as if he’d told Naruto what seemed like a life-altering truth only minutes before.

Why was Sasuke staring at him like he was waiting for something anyway? Naruto stared back. Sasuke’s face was so familiar that Naruto was not used to looking at the collection of his features, he just saw him. But this time he let himself see him as a stranger might.

The black hair. He’d let his hair grow longer recently, Naruto wondered if it ever reminded him of Itachi, or if he would ever let it grow as long as his brother’s. A stranger wouldn’t know to think that though, so Naruto tried again.

The sharp exact angles of his face made him look like had been sculpted intentionally, lovingly, like a statue.

The striking dark eyes that stood out on his pale skin.

The flawless skin, though Naruto knew it would carry plenty of scars across his body. People liked scars though, didn’t they? A stranger would probably think they made him look cool and mysterious. That’s not how Naruto viewed them, many of Sasuke’s scars would be shared memories, cut into both of their skins. Though he knew Sasuke must have some that he didn’t know about. From their years apart or perhaps even from his most recent missions. The thought was not particularly pleasant. So Naruto took his attention back to his appraisal.

Unlike his younger self, Naruto was not so insecure now that he couldn’t acknowledge how Sasuke was incredibly attractive. It seemed unlikely that that could have been the issue in…

Sasuke smacked him on the back of his head so hard that Naruto snapped out of his thoughts entirely.

“What the hell is your problem?” Naruto asked him, outraged.

“What’s your problem?” Sasuke asked back, his tone much more neutral “I asked you a question ten minutes ago and you’ve just been staring at me in silence.”

Oh right. Naruto rubbed his head where Sasuke had abused him. Maybe the violent tendencies were why it hadn’t worked out for him “You didn’t have to hit me so hard…” Naruto muttered “What was the question?”

“Do you want to go out for food, or should we just eat in?”

Naruto shook his head. Under other circumstances, he probably would have chosen for them to go out to eat so they walk around together, but not now. He wanted to remove any and all opportunies for Sasuke to distract him before he could get some answers “Let’s just eat here.”

Sasuke threw him a suspicious look but nodded without further comment. The bastard knew him well enough to find this choice unusual.

They both stayed quiet for a bit after that. Naruto leaned back against the headboard and after a moment, Sasuke sat on the other side of the bed, facing him. Before, they’d been sitting side by side as they watched the TV and this new choice annoyed Naruto, as if Sasuke was ready to bolt out at any moment. Not that he looked like it as he made himself more comfortable on the bed, but still. Why not just just come lean against the headboard?

“So” Naruto, not one to take silence well, started speaking without any particular plan of where he was going with the sentence.

“So” Sasuke replied dryly.

“How many scars do you have?”

Sasuke blinked at him, and then looked down at himself “I can’t say I’ve ever counted.”

Had anyone else?

“Can I see?” Naruto asked aloud.

Sasuke frowned at him “No idiot, what kind of question is that?”

Naruto shrugged. “What? I’d show you mine. I don’t have that many since Kurama gets rid of most anyway, they’re all…” Naruto trailed off.

Well, all the ones left were the ones that Sasuke had given him. He’d ask Kurama to keep them, initially as twisted souvenirs, and later as… he wasn’t quite sure what. Memories, he supposed.

Sasuke didn’t look particularly curious about the reason behind his sudden silence “Why would I want to see?”

Naruto would have been offended, but he supposed it made sense that Sasuke wouldn’t want to. It’s not like he’d ever gone to Kiba or Shikamaru and asked to see their scars.

“To get to know me better obviously. So, we can strengthen our bond.”

Sasuke gave him a look. “I know you well enough.”

Naruto gave that some thought. Did Sasuke know him better than he knew Sasuke? If that was the case, it was only because Naruto wasn’t sealed shut like some forbidden Jutsu scroll.

“Just let me see” Naruto whined.

“What a persuasive argument” Sasuke replied drily.

Naruto reached over as if he was going to pull up Sasuke’s shirt himself. Sasuke smacked his hand away so hard that it actually stung pretty bad “Naruto stop it. What’s gotten into you?”

Naruto sat back and waved his offended hand in the air as he glared at Sasuke “What’s the big deal. Let’s not act as if you didn’t just run around half naked for most of our teenage years.”

Sasuke looked at him for a moment and then unexpectedly he laughed. Naruto found himself smiling in response, the weird air between dissipating into a comfortable quiet. Sasuke was the one who broke it this time.

“Naruto, really though, what’s going on with you today? and I don’t mean the sudden obsession with scars.” He paused “I know I’m not here that often, but if something’s wrong, you can tell me.”

Naruto, to his own surprise, found that he was on the verge of tears again, and had to take a moment to let the emotion settle. Sasuke just waited with him in the quiet, like he’d done before in the kitchen. He was good at that, Naruto thought absently, just sitting with you when things got too hard.

He remembered the days after the war, when they had shared a room in the hospital. Back then, Naruto either couldn’t fall sleep, or he would wake up in the middle of the night thinking of Neji, his dad, Obito, Jiraya, an endless list, and Sasuke would just sit there with him. Once, when it got really bad, he’d found himself going to Sasuke’s bed in the middle of the night, and the other man had just sat up and put his arm around Naruto’s shoulder without saying anything about it. It hadn’t even felt that strange, despite the fact that it had been years since he and Sasuke had spent any time together that was not in the middle of battle.

“It’s not like you to space out so much” Sasuke said. This time Naruto could hear the concern in his voice.

“Sorry, just…thinking about stuff.”

“Stuff?”

Naruto looked at his questioning face “The past, the times right after the war.”

“Hmm” Sasuke seemed reflective “Have you been thinking about that more lately? Is that why you seem… not quite like yourself today?”

“Not really, I guess” Naruto took a breath. It’s not like he thought Sasuke would mock him for it “Sometimes I just wonder how much I really know you, Sasuke.”

Sasuke blinked at him, clearly taken aback. When he didn’t say anything, Naruto continued “I just mean, you’re traveling all the time now. It’s not like you can talk about what you’re doing on all the super-secret missions, and I don’t know if you’d say anything even if you could…” Naruto looked at him again “Bastard” he said with no bite to his voice.  

Sasuke moved a little in his seat, and Naruto realized that for once the other man looked a little uncomfortable. “You know me…better than most people.”

So, who knew him better? Naruto wondered idly. This mysterious lover of his? It didn’t escape Naruto either than ‘better than most’ did not mean ‘well’.

“This is where the newfound interest in scars came from?” Sasuke asked him, his tone teasing. Naruto had a feeling that he was trying to lighten the talk, which was something Naruto usually did but was not in the mood to allow the other man to do right now. Instead of leaning into his teasing, Naruto just shrugged “Yeah I suppose.”

Sasuke sighed “I don’t think that’s something most friends know about each other anyway Naruto, it has nothing to do with me being gone.”

Naruto knew he had a point, but he also knew they both realized it was about more that “Yeah well, I didn’t know you were…” Naruto found it surprisingly hard to say. Maybe some guys didn’t talk about emotions much, but he’d never viewed himself as that kind of person, so the difficulty surprised him “…you were in love. I didn’t know that. That’s big.”

Sasuke sighed, and after a moment rubbed his forehead. “So, it is about that.” He muttered to himself, then turned back to Naruto “I don’t suppose we can just…forget about that?”

“NO” Naruto snapped, and Sasuke flinched at the volume “I mean” Naruto quieted himself down by force “It’s not just about that, I was weird since before you said that too…”

Sasuke snorted “No arguments there.”

“But this is important Sasuke. You can’t expect to just brush past it.”

Sasuke sighed again “What do you want to know Naruto. There isn’t much to say.”

What did that mean? Naruto couldn’t see Sasuke as someone who spent a few days with someone and said he was in love. There had to be a lot to say. He wanted to know everything, including who it was, but he had a feeling he had to manage his expectations about what Sasuke would be willing to tell him.

“Why didn’t it work out?” Naruto asked eventually.

Sasuke looked… not sad exactly, but more tired maybe “I don’t know how to answer that.” He finally said. He looked at Naruto before he could protest “I’m not being vague on purpose Naruto. I guess… it couldn’t work out because it was never a real possibility.”

Naruto frowned “What does that even mean?”

When Sasuke stayed silent, Naruto ventured “Are you saying it’s one-sided?”

For some reason this question seemed to amuse Sasuke, he looked back at Naruto with a smile “You can say that.”

Naruto frowned. How could Sasuke smile about that? and anyway “I don’t understand how that’s possible.”

Sasuke continued smiling in that strange way, like this was all a private joke to him, not that he looked particularly happy “Oh? What do you mean by that?”

“Why wouldn’t someone love you back?” Naruto asked.

The sentence had sounded fine in his head, but he realized how…complimentary it sounded after he said it aloud, and felt somewhat awkward. But well, it’s not like he didn’t have a point.

“I mean, Sasuke, I have trouble thinking of many people in the village who wouldn’t at least be open to the possibility. Maybe back when you were… more of an asshole, sure, but now? I mean, maybe if it’s someone from back then and you told them now, things would change? Have you tried…”

Sasuke’s smile had faded. He looked away from Naruto “Let’s just let this go Naruto.”

Maybe he didn’t know Naruto as well as he’d said if he thought that was going to happen.

“Seriously Sasuke, how can you be so sure this person doesn’t love you? Is this something you’re just assuming on your own?” Naruto found himself getting angry at the thought “Damn it, Sasuke. That totally sounds like something you would do. You just decided by yourself and gave up, didn’t you?”

Sasuke looked at him, seeming a little taken aback, which made Naruto think he had been right on the money. He wanted to punch the other man.

“It’s not like that. I think…” Sasuke paused “I think he does love me, in his own way. It’s just not…” Sasuke trailed off, looking lost in his own thoughts.

Huh, well that answered one question at least. Naruto supposed it didn’t matter one way or the other. He briefly wondered if Sakura had ever realized, and if it would have made her feel better. But Sasuke being interested in one dude didn’t mean he couldn’t have been interested in women too. Naruto was still busy wrapping his head around the idea of Sasuke being interested in anyone at all.

“So, you’ve told him?” Naruto asked.

“I…” Sasuke sighed. “It’s just not going to happen Naruto.”

He hadn’t. Uh that bastard. He totally hadn’t, and here he was moping around, talking about how it couldn’t work out. Well, how could it possibly work out if he was too much of a coward to say anything?

“Sasuke you’re really…” Naruto started angrily, ready to knock some sense into him.

“He’s with someone else Naruto.” Sasuke cut him off.

Oh! Oh... Naruto felt that pain in his chest again. Maybe this really was like that damned movie.

“Is it…I mean is it serious? Maybe if you wait…”

Sasuke sighed “Just let it go Naruto, alright? I’m not…unhappy with how things are.”

Naruto quieted. There was a part of him that still wanted to insist to Sasuke that he should say how he felt. But he could also understand why Sasuke would be hesitant to do so. Was it really the right thing to do, to tell someone who was in a relationship he loved them?

But didn’t this person deserve to know? If it was Naruto in his situation, wouldn’t he want to know?

Naruto shook his head, not feeling like anything good laid down that train of thought.

Even if Sasuke said he wasn’t unhappy now… Well Naruto was unhappy, for him, about this. It just seemed so unfair. After all the loss Sasuke had experienced in his life, didn’t he, of all people, deserve to be with someone he loved? Not that Naruto thought life worked that way, but it should. It really should.

He looked up to see Sasuke watching him, and he had the nerve to be the one who looked concerned, for Naruto! What right did he have to be concerned about him, when it was Naruto who should be upset for him?

“…So, who is it?” Naruto asked him.

Sasuke smirked “As if I’d tell you.”

“Why not?” Naruto whined. “Maybe I can knock some sense into him.” Naruto found he was only partly joking. Did he actually know this person though? The thought made him feel oddly conflicted. Then again, was it really any better if it was someone he didn’t know?

What kind of person elicited this kind of devotion from Sasuke, who was so selective with the people he cared about? What kind of person deserved it?

Well, this man clearly didn’t, not if he’d chosen someone else. Not that it seemed as if he’d realized he was making a choice. Wasn’t that awful?

Yes, Naruto realized, if it had been him, he would have wanted to know.

“Suigetsu?” Naruto asked, partly to distract himself from his thoughts, partly because he thought it was a genuine option. Suigetsu didn’t seem quite right, but it’s not as if he had many candidates in mind.

Sasuke’s smirk widened. He almost looked like he wanted to laugh“I’m not talking about him, no.”

Something about the phrasing caught Naruto’s attention, and he found himself frowning. “Wait, but was there ever…?”

If Naruto wasn’t watching so carefully, he would have missed the millisecond where Sasuke looked to the side.

“There was!” Naruto shouted.

“Quiet down idiot, will you.”

Naruto was so astonished he barely heard him. There was another less pleasant emotion there too, but that wasn’t entirely unexpected. He had always felt some, for the lack of a better word, jealousy over Taka or Hebi or whatever. Particularly as he knew Sasuke met up with them still, since they were all often outside of village borders.

“You really are an asshole”

“Excuse me?” Sasuke raised his eyebrows at him, not looking particularly offended.

“What, did you just choose your ‘new team’ based on whoever was in love with you?” 

Sasuke snorted “None of them were in love with me”

“That’s two out of three in my estimation, and for all I know you’re going to say you had something going with Jugo too.”

Sasuke looked like he wasn’t sure if he felt amused or annoyed, an expression Naruto often seemed to evoke on his face.

“Well Naruto, what can I say. I had to make myself feel better about my unrequited love somehow, wasn’t I?” He said dryly.

Naruto felt oddly arrested at the sentence. Didn’t that mean that this had been going on for a long time? Was it actually someone from the village?

“You realize I was joking?” Sasuke asked him when he’d turned quiet.

“Whatever” Naruto said, snapping out of his thoughts “So what was between you two? Were you in a relationship?”

Sasuke ran a hand in his head “That’s hardly your business Naruto, but…no I wouldn’t put it quite like that.”

That just made Naruto want to know even more. What was Sasuke like in a relationship anyway? Naruto tried to imagine him and Suigetsu…what, holding hands while on a mission? That was ridiculous. Besides with Karin there…

So what, had they just hooked up?

He opened his mouth to ask exactly that question, even though he wasn’t fully sure he wanted to know the answer, but Sasuke cut him off “How about we talk about you for a while. How come you never dated Sakura?”

Naruto blinked. “Uhhh” He muttered. “I’m not…She wasn’t, it’s not like…”

Sasuke raised his eyebrows at him “Are you still in love with her?”

“What, of course not. I just realized it was never…really like that with us. She is like a sister to me now. Besides, I’m with Hinata…”

“Who you love?” Sasuke asked, though it seemed only half a question.

Naruto sighed “I…don’t really know.” He looked up to see Sasuke watching him neutrally “She’s…great. Kind, loving, smart too. I guess, it feels very easy, being with her.” Sasuke nodded as if it was the response he’d expected, but Naruto wasn’t done “But I guess, sometimes I wonder, if it should be…this easy? Doesn’t it seem like love would mean… I don’t know, more tension? I guess, not fighting or anything like that necessarily, just…”

Naruto trailed off. He’d never really said any of that out loud, but for some reason it felt harder to ignore his doubts today. Was it Ino’s earlier comment about him being excited for a date with Hinata? It made him realize, well he enjoyed spending time with Hinata, he cared about her, he respected her, but was he ever really excited about…being with her? Seeing her?

Sasuke was still looking at him, though he seemed to be thinking about something else. Eventually he sighed and looked away “I don’t know Naruto. I think it sounds nice…for things to just be easy. I would have…” He paused “I would have wanted that, I guess, for things to be easy with someone I love.”

Naruto felt that sentence as if Sasuke had punched him in the throat. For the first time today Sasuke looked sad, lost in his own thoughts. Had he been putting up a face for Naruto the rest of the day, saying he wasn’t unhappy? No, that didn’t seem like Sasuke. As much as Naruto didn’t like it, he’d sounded like he had accepted his situation, maybe it was this conversation that had made him unhappy. 

Naruto was hit with a strong urge to just reach over and…hug him. But he found himself hesitating, feeling that the gesture would not be welcomed. Sasuke wasn’t a particularly physical person, and he might think Naruto was pitying him, even though that was the furthest thing from his thoughts. Regardless, Naruto thought the hug would be for himself, something he needed, and not for Sasuke. So he stopped himself. Instead, he simply watched his friend who seemed to have forgotten his existence.

Sasuke snapped out of it eventually. Looking back at Naruto, he smiled “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Naruto’s voice came out in an odd whisper, surprising himself as well as Sasuke, who seemed to further snap out of his thoughts.

Whatever he wanted to say was interrupted by the sound of knocking on the front door. Sasuke stood up immediately “Let’s go eat.”

For some reason, Naruto wanted Sasuke to reach out and pull him to his feet, like Naruto had done for him before, but the other man just walked out of the room, leaving Naruto feeling…weirdly rejected.

He shook his head at his own idiocy and followed the other man, wondering when he would go back to feeling normal.

***

They both seemed preoccupied as they ate. Not that it was unusual for Sasuke to be quiet, but Naruto found himself lost in thought as well. Sasuke had ordered him the Ramen he liked, but for some reason even seeing that had hit Naruto with a new surge of sadness. He wondered if men had hormonal cycles too, maybe he should ask Sakura the next time he saw her.

He knew she’d want to see Sasuke too. Maybe they could all catch up the next day. Things were so much easier between the three of them than they had been once. He knew Sakura had been teaching Sasuke some healing jutsus in the brief times when Sasuke was back in the village and their schedules aligned. In the early days, he’d wondered if something would come out of it, but the two seemed to soon settle into something not that different from his own relationship with Sakura, and Naruto had found himself oddly relieved at the development. Not that he’d ever really had a problem when Sakura dated anyone. He had been honest with Sasuke when he said he viewed her like family now. Anyway, she was so busy in the hospital, but he knew she would make the time to see Sasuke.

This made him think again about how Sasuke would be leaving in only a few days. Would he agree to stay just a bit longer if Naruto asked? He knew initially him going on longer missions outside of the village had been a way to ease his way back to being a Konoha ninja, both for himself and for the others who remained distrustful of him. But, after the first year or so, Kakashi continued giving him these missions because Sasuke asked for them. Sasuke and Naruto had had their fair share of fights over it at the time. He still couldn’t say he fully understood the choice, though it made him think, if Sasuke was seeing whoever he loved during these times, that could explain things more. From the way he talked before, Naruto had gotten the sense that the two of them did still have some sort of a connection with each other. Sasuke had certainly known enough about the man’s life to know he was still in a relationship.

What if Sasuke did end up with someone from another village and moved there? Naruto should be happy at the thought, he supposed. He wanted Sasuke to be happy, and it wouldn’t be like he’d never see him again. He might be able to see him more than now, so long as it was a one of the closer villages to them. Naruto could go visit whenever he could get away… So why did the thought still bother him?

“You’re being very quiet” Sasuke observed.

“Sasuke” Naruto said, his tone serious. The other man waited. “How did you know that you were in love?”

Sasuke sighed “I don’t want to talk about this anymore Naruto.”

“Please?” Naruto said, knowing it was selfish of him. But across the years, Naruto had found he and Sasuke could be oddly similar in their experience of emotions, even if they chose to express them in vastly different ways. Maybe knowing how it felt to Sasuke would help clarify some things for Naruto too “I think, it would really help me.”

“Will you let it go after?” Naruto nodded, knowing he was already pushing his friend.

Sasuke closed his eyes and seemed to think about it “I suppose,.. I feel the most content when I’m around this person. Not necessarily always happy or anything like that, but just…right, easy, I guess, like you said before. Like it’s fine to fight or disagree or whatever because underneath all that, it’s still where I would prefer to be.” Sasuke shrugged “I don’t think that fully explains it, but it’s the best I can do.”

Naruto just stared at him, feeling his throat tighten.

“Naruto?” Sasuke asked when he hadn’t responded in several moments.

Naruto could barely get the words out around the lump in his throat. “I…that’s not what I meant when I said easy.”

Sasuke didn’t seem like he knew what Naruto meant, but Naruto felt that he didn’t want to continue the conversation as he looked back on his food. He hadn’t really realized the impact his words had had on Naruto.

When Naruto had said easy…he realized now, he’d meant… unaffected.

What Sasuke described was familiar, but it was not how he felt about Hinata.

***

The sky had darkened outside by the time they finished eating. They’d sat together and true to his words, Naruto had stopped asking Sasuke about it. They’d had an easy conversation after that. Sasuke had told him a few stories about passing through different villages in his travels and the kind of people he had come across. Naruto found himself smiling and laughing along at some of the more colorful stories. Sasuke, when it came down to it, was one of the funniest people he knew. It’s just that he didn’t spend enough time for most people to see that about him.

Naruto told him about what the various people from the village were up to, and the different aspects of working in the Hokage’s office with Shikamaru and Ino. Sasuke listened intently and asked questions here and there, sometimes making Naruto think about things from a different angle than before. Naruto told him about the few classes he’d started teaching in the academy and the students who couldn’t grasp different techniques. As Sasuke suggested alternative methods of explaining things, Naruto found himself looking at him thoughtfully.

“You would be so good at this.” Naruto said “Teaching, if you were ever interested.”

Unlike what he expected, Sasuke didn’t scoff at the idea. He shrugged and told him about the time he’d stayed with a border village for a while to teach the younger populations some basic fighting skills as they were often attacked by bands of bandits around the area and none of the feudal lords found them valuable enough to spend any money on their defence.

Sasuke had clearly only meant to talk about this in passing, but Naruto was so interested in this story that they spent the next hour talking about it. Sasuke answered Naruto’s questions about the practical aspects of the situation patiently, but he started moving away from the topic when Naruto continued to insist on what a good deed he’d done. Sasuke had never been particularly receptive to compliments, a quality that Naruto found both endearing and irritating.

Sasuke’s story reminded him of Jiraya and his war orphans. He’d yet to do anything about the promise he’d made to Nagato about helping the rain village, though it was often on his mind. He wondered if Sasuke had ever been there. As he was about to ask, Sasuke stood up to get rid of their dishes, Naruto jumped up to help, but Sasuke seemed insistent on doing it himself.

Naruto sighed “You’re really bad at accepting help you know.”

Sasuke threw him a look from above his shoulder as he started washing the dishes “It feels unnecessary.”

This answer, of course, only served to annoy Naruto, and he sat there brooding in silence until Sasuke looked back to him again.

“Everyone needs help sometimes” Naruto told him.

Sasuke seemed surprised at his seriousness “I don’t deny that.”

“You just don’t like receiving help from me?” Naruto told him, and now Sasuke actually turned to face him fully.

“…it’s just a few dishes Naruto. Was it really so important?”

Naruto just shrugged, not feeling like he wanted to get into it. Not that he thought his reaction fully made sense either but that only made him more annoyed.

After Sasuke was done, he came back to join Naruto at the table. He’d cooled down a bit and the air felt easy between them again.

“It’s gotten quite late. You might want to start heading home.” Sasuke told him in his usual direct manner.

Naruto supposed they had spent more time talking than he’d realized. It was already past midnight, but he didn’t find himself in any hurry to head out.

“What will you be doing tomorrow?”

Sasuke shrugged. He looked tired, and Naruto remembered guiltily that he’d already been tired this afternoon when Naruto had woken him.

“Not much. I’ll take care of some chores while you’re at work, and I thought we might meet up with Sakura later in the evening.”

Hmm that had been pretty much what Naruto had thought of as well, but he found himself somewhat dissatisfied with the plan now.

Sasuke seemed to sense his mood “I understand if you have other plans Naruto. We don’t have to do anything tomorrow.”

Naruto shook his head. Turned out even a genius could be so stupid sometimes “What if I take a sick day tomorrow?” Naruto asked him.

Sasuke looked taken aback at the offer “You don’t have to do that, it’s only one day until the weekend anyway”

Naruto sighed “I know I don’t have to.”

“And like I said, I’ll just be running errands…”

“What if I want to? Or are you tired of me already?” Naruto meant it to sound playful, but the question came out serious.

Sasuke gave him a long look, and Naruto couldn’t quite tell why his heart rate picked up in the silence. Sasuke could still make him so nervous at times.

Eventually though, Sasuke just said “In that case, would you like to spend the night?”

And Naruto found himself grinning back his answer.

***

It was hardly the first night Naruto had spent in Sasuke’s house, though most of the time the situation had involved either Naruto drinking too much to feel like going home, or more often, having an early mission in the morning, and crashing at Sasuke’s house since it was closer to the village gates. Sasuke’s coach was comfortable to sleep in, and he even had an extra room with a serviceable bed, that as far as Naruto knew he’d been the only person who ever used with any regularity.

However, Naruto’s thought kept running in odd directions as they prepared for bed, and Sasuke threw him a pair of clothes and an extra toothbrush he’d found somewhere in his bathroom without much ceremony. When Sasuke started heading upstairs, where only his bedroom was, Naruto wasn’t entirely surprised to find himself following him. However, this was entirely news to Sasuke, who paused in the middle of the stairs and turned to look at him. Naruto tried to push him to get him moving again, but he just stood there like a statue, refusing to be nudged.

“Naruto, do I need to show you where to sleep? Have you suffered some form of memory loss?”

Naruto, realizing Sasuke was not going to just let him get away with it, whined “Come on Sasuke. It’s not a big deal.”

“What’s not a big deal exactly?” Sasuke asked, even though he must know what Naruto was getting at.

“Just let me sleep in your bad asshole, it’s not like it’s small.”

Sasuke just looked at him as if he had spoken in another language. Naruto attempted to just walk past him and go upstairs himself, but there wasn’t enough space to squeeze through and he just ended up pushing himself against Sasuke’s side with no success.

“Will you stop that, ah, just…”

Sasuke pushed him off, and a lesser ninja would have fallen off the stairs at the force of it “When will you stop being such a violent bastard?” Naruto complained.

“When will you stop acting like an idiot?” Sasuke replied.

“It’ll be fun, like a sleepover. What’s the point of me staying over if you’re just going to stick me downstairs?”

“A sleepover” Sasuke repeated dryly.

“Come on. Do you really care so much?” Naruto asked. What was the big deal? It’s not as if they hadn’t shared rooms, or even beds on missions before. Except, he supposed it was a big enough deal for him to be insisting on it, but Naruto wasn’t one to hesitate too much when he wanted something, even if he wasn’t particularly sure why he wanted this.

Sasuke sighed “Fine, you better not kick too much.”

Naruto let out a whoop and this time when he moved, Sasuke let himself be moved to the side as Naruto ran up the stars ahead of him.

When Sasuke walked in Naruto had already made himself comfortable sitting on the bed.

“Hey, I wanted to lie down, but I thought I’d be nice and ask what’s your side of the bed first.”

Sasuke gave him a look “Whichever side you want to take is fine idiot. I’ll adjust.”

“Seriously?” Naruto asked him “This is the one time you’re not fussy?”

Sasuke didn’t dignify that with a response.

“Fine” Naruto said, moving under the blanket to his favorite side as Sasuke turned off the lights and moved the window.

“I usually leave it half-open, but would you be bothered by a bit of noise coming in?”

Naruto felt oddly taken aback at the question. “Uh no.” He looked at the lines of Sasuke’s back as he opened the window halfway and closed the blinds. “You’re really thoughtful, you know that?”

Sasuke snorted “I don’t think I’ve ever been called that Naruto”

Naruto was about to argue, but he was silenced as Sasuke settled himself down on the bed and he felt the mattress dipping under his weight.

Sasuke’s bed really was big enough to comfortably sleep two people without any touching whatsoever. Not that Naruto would have minded, but he supposed if he tried to cuddle Sasuke, he might not keep all his limbs. Still, he found himself moving forward, just a little, as Sasuke settled down. The other man shot him a look, but for whatever reason chose not to comment.

“Why do you sleep with the window open?”

Sasuke was sleeping on his back, while Naruto lay on his side, facing him. Sasuke had closed his eyes already but didn’t seem bothered by the question “Hmm I sleep better if it’s colder, and I suppose…”

“Yeah?” Naruto asked curiously.

Sasuke opened his eyes “I like the sound of the cicadas, it’s calming.”

Naruto smiled at him “You really have gone soft in your old age.”

Sasuke smiled too, still looking at the ceiling “I suppose so.”

 “What’s so fascinating up there?”

Sasuke sighed and then moved so he was also lying on the side facing Naruto “Better?” He asked dryly.

Naruto grinned, and Sasuke shook his head “idiot.”

“You know,” Naruto said, more quietly “I’ve changed too.”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke asked, watching him curiously. Naruto wasn’t sure why he’d wanted to have Sasuke’s full attention, but now that he was facing him, he found it…a very intense experience, even though Sasuke seemed quite calm.

Naruto wanted to look somewhere else now, but that felt like backing down, so he continued to look at his friend as he continued “Before, you said I never change, and I guess, I know I’m not going out of the village on all these life changing adventures like you, but I’ve still changed from the days we were teenagers.”

Sasuke was quiet for a second, and then he said seriously “I know Naruto, I’m sorry if I suggested otherwise; It was not my intention.”

Naruto smiled at him, thinking to himself about how much more likely Sasuke was to apologize these days if he felt he’d done wrong “Oh yeah?” He said, feeling lighter than before. He hadn’t even realized that he’d been so bothered by the comment before he’d brought it up again “How have I changed?”

Sasuke smiled “It’s hard to say, given you’ve still maintained all your idiotic tendencies.”

“Hey” Naruto protested, shoving him in the shoulder “We were having a nice moment asshole.”

Sasuke took hold of his offending wrist. Not doing anything with it, he just held it on his shoulder without using any force, not that Naruto tried to free himself “Are you interested in keeping this hand Naruto?” Sasuke asked him with a smirk.

Naruto briefly thought of his earlier reflection about Sasuke cutting off his limb if he tried to cuddle, but mostly he found that his head had gone oddly empty.

When he didn’t say anything for several moments, Sasuke raised his eyebrows at him, and slowly let go of the wrist. Naruto knew he was acting a little strange, but it’s not like he could explain to Sasuke what was going on in his head. So, he finally just removed his hand and used it to scratch behind his head, attempting a half-hearted smile. He knew it looked awkward, but he couldn’t do anything about it.

Sasuke didn’t say anything on it though, and the two gazed at one another for a long moment.

“If I asked you to stay a bit longer, would you?” Naruto whispered suddenly, not quite feeling in control of himself.

Sasuke sighed. “Naruto…”

Naruto finally looked away. Half turning his body towards the celling “Yeah, I figured.”

“Would it really make that big of a difference?” Sasuke asked quietly “What could we do with an extra week?”

Naruto didn’t want an extra week. He wanted a month, a year, longer. But he’d take whatever he could get. Wasn’t that what he’d always done when it came to Sasuke? A part of him protested that things weren’t quite like that anymore. But well, here he was again, asking Sasuke for something he knew the other wouldn’t grant him.

“It would have made a difference to me, yeah.” He said aloud, still so distracted by his own thoughts that he almost missed Sasuke’s response.

“Okay” Sasuke said simply.

Naruto turned his head towards him “Huh?”

“Okay, I’ll stay an extra week. I’ll tell Kakashi tomorrow, I don’t imagine he’d mind.”

Naruto found himself in a rare moment of speechlessness “Are you being serious?”

Sasuke looked back at him, looking completely calm “Is it really so surprising?”

“Uh Yes?” Naruto said.

“Hmm” Sasuke replied simply.

Naruto continued looking at him as if expecting him to take it back. But the longer the other stay silent, the more Naruto felt his excitement grew, until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“I can take the week off too maybe, then we could hang out all the time.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at that “Be careful Naruto, I can still change my mind.”

Naruto felt his smile diminish somewhat, not able to discern whether the other boy was serious.

Sasuke sighed “It was a joke, idiot.” He said, flicking him in the middle of his forehead.

“Ouch” Naruto said distractedly “Maybe we can even take a short trip somewhere.”

It would be good to leave the village for a bit, he could have done that at any point, of course, but he’d never felt sufficiently motivated until now.

“If you want.” Sasuke smiled a little at him “Would that really be okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? As if Kakashi would dare deny me leave. I’ve been working my ass off, and so have you by the way. If anyone deserves a break, it’s us.”

Sasuke looked like he was hesitating “Uh, I meant more socially?’

Naruto frowned, not quite getting his point.

Sasuke sighed “Would Hinata be okay with you leaving like that? I suppose it wouldn’t be for that long…”

Naruto’s good mood diminished at the reminder, and then he felt like an absolute jerk because of it. Hinata deserved better than this, He realized suddenly. He’d been thinking about how easy the relationship was for him, but was this really the best thing for her? Didn’t she deserve someone who wouldn’t forget all about dating her when he thought about taking a trip?

He didn’t quite feel like sharing his recent thoughts with Sasuke yet, though this day seemed to be making the decision much clearer for him. Instead, he just said “Yeah, that would be fine, anyways, she isn’t really like that.”

“Okay” Sasuke said simply again, and then turned on his back.

Naruto found himself watching his side profile. He wondered what the man was thinking with such a serious expression. As if hearing him, Sasuke said “That makes sense to me, I can’t really see you with someone who would want to limit you too much” then, unexpectedly the other man sent him a smirk “Though you would require some keeping in line from time to time, I imagine.”

Not for the first time that night, Naruto found a statement striking without fully understanding why.

Sasuke didn’t seem to expect a response anyway, as he’d already turned back to the celling and looked like he was about to close his eyes again.

“Sasuke” Naruto said impulsively.

“Hmm?” The other boy said, sounding significantly drowsier than just a moment before.

“I think,” Naruto hesitated, but whatever, fuck it, he wasn’t one to mince words “I think, if he knew how you felt, he’d choose you. Whoever it is. And if he wouldn’t, well, then he’d just be an idiot. Wouldn’t he?”

Sasuke had gone very still. Naruto wished he could see his face more clearly, but he supposed he already knew Sasuke did not receive compliments well, even though Naruto had not meant the sentence as such.

Then he heard a sound coming from Sasuke’s side.

Was he… laughing?

“What the hell asshole, I was being sincere. What’s wrong with you?” Naruto barely refrained from moving to strangle Sasuke with his pillow, and only because the other man really did seem about to fall sleep. Even his laugh sounded tired.

Sasuke kept laughing for a few moments more and eventually he just said “Thank you, for saying that.”

“Hmm” Naruto said, a little gruffly “Whatever, I meant it.” Not that he really understood Sasuke’s reaction.

He felt Sasuke’s hand brush against his own, the contact so brief that he could have imagined it “I know you did” Sasuke said simply, and the next time Naruto looked over at him, he was already asleep.

Naruto stayed awake for a while longer, thinking about everything that had happened that day. It was hard to believe it had only been about ten hours since he’d come to this room to find Sasuke sleeping. Despite the emotional turbulences of the day, he felt more like himself than he had in the past few months. If nothing else, he knew at least one thing he needed to do now.

As he found himself drifting off to sleep, he found Sasuke’s earlier words coming back to him. Content. Easy…

His description had sounded familiar, hadn’t it?

Naruto knew the answer, he thought, but then he lost it again, as sleep took him without a warning.

***

Naruto blinked himself awake, feeling like he’d had a very good night’s sleep. He’d managed to send a frog last night with the message that he wouldn’t be going in today. He felt bad about leaving Shikamaru and Ino with all the work, but most of it was done anyway, and both of them had called in sick from time to time, so it’s not like Naruto couldn’t do the same.

As he came more fully awake, he realized both him and Sasuke had moved towards the center of the bed during the night, so that he could feel his own arm pressing against Sasuke’s. Hmm, and yet here he was, still with all limbs attached. He didn’t bother moving away as he allowed his eyes to close again. The contact was nice.

The next time he came awake, the other half of the bed was empty. He couldn’t really hear any noise coming from downstairs either and he was hit with a sudden panic that Sasuke had been called to leave on some urgent mission.

He jumped out of the bed and ran down the stairs, only to be faced with the sight of Sasuke breaking a few eggs by the oven, though he seemed to have turned to face him at the commotion, looking somewhat surprised.

“What’s wrong?” Sasuke asked when Naruto just stood there staring.

“Oh” While the adrenaline had brought Naruto fully awake, he still felt too hazy to come up with any good explanation “I couldn’t hear any sound.” He said, as if that explained things.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow “You’d think I was a ninja” He said as he turned back towards the stove.

Naruto grumpily made his way to the bathroom. Brushing his teeth and throwing some water on his face made him feel much more awake.

Where had Sasuke gotten the eggs anyway?

He walked back to the kitchen and ignoring Sasuke, opened the fridge to find that just as he’d expected it was now filled with groceries.

“You went shopping” Naruto turned to Sasuke, poking him in the chest accusingly.

Sasuke didn’t even bother to turn towards him “Did I require your permission?”

Ah asshole, Naruto could have easily woken up to an empty house while he was gone and then he would have properly panicked. Not that Sasuke would have had any reason to think of that really, but still.

As he was thinking, Sasuke quietly handed him a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast, and set a mug of coffee on the counter by where he was standing.

“Oh, thank you” Naruto looked on with some surprise as Sasuke made his own plate and took a sit by the kitchen island. Naruto picked up his own cup and plate and joined him there. For a bit they ate in quiet. Though Naruto kept stealing glances at Sasuke, who probably caught them all. Naruto just couldn’t help doing it though. Sasuke seemed so peaceful, like all of this was perfectly normal for him.

“This is strange” Naruto said finally.

Sasuke looked at him questioningly. And Naruto gestured at both of them, the plates and the kitchen “This, it just feels so…”  Not quite sure how to finish the sentence, Naruto said instead “I guess, there was a time when I wasn’t sure we’d ever get here.”

“Oh?” Sasuke looked at him with an easy expression “and here I thought you never doubted.”

Naruto smiled, but then he looked at his plate thoughtfully “I guess at some point, I started thinking…bringing you back, it started feeling like it was more for me than for you. Like it was a selfish thing I was doing…and maybe you were better off being free and doing whatever you wanted to do.”

Naruto was so lost in thought that he barely realized Sasuke had set his cutlery down and was looking at him. Naruto met his gaze “Of course, it turns out even after you came back, you’re still being off and doing whatever most of the time. So maybe I shouldn’t have worried.”

Of course, Naruto realized that wasn’t strictly true. Sasuke’s missions, from what he was allowed to know, and some stuff he wasn’t technically allowed to know, were hardly a walk in the park. Sasuke knew he knew too, which was probably why he didn’t say anything in response. It wasn’t really tense between them per se, but they both seemed contemplative as they finished their breakfast.

“So, you really blew off work today? Still a delinquent, I see.”

Naruto snorted “Huh yeah, why? Do you like bad boys Sasuke?”

Maybe it wouldn’t have felt like such a weird sentence if their gazes didn’t happen to meet at exactly that moment.

Not that Sasuke seemed to be particularly affected. It was Naruto who looked away immediately and started drinking from his mug while Sasuke just smirked “Piercings, tattoos, scars, the whole persona is very attractive.”

Naruto almost spit out his coffee “Are you serious?” He sputtered only to see Sasuke clearly laughing at him.

“You’re such a jerk” Naruto shook his head. He thought he heard Sasuke mutter something along the lines of ‘might as well laugh about it’, which all in all, didn’t seem like a bad approach to unrequited love, though Naruto didn’t think if he was in Sasuke’s situation, he could have taken it similarly.

Maybe Sasuke wasn’t fully joking anyway. Naruto’s thoughts wondered again to what kind of person could capture Sasuke’s interests. He thought of what he knew of Suigestsu. They’d never spent much time together, but Naruto had an impression of him as being fairy loud and obnoxious, besides hadn’t he always had this habit of hanging all over Sasuke? Maybe Naruto should have realized something was up then, given shark-boy certainly seemed to have maintained all his limbs.

Naruto supposed Suigetsu was good-looking in that dangerous way, so maybe Sasuke really wasn’t kidding about the piercings and tattoos? Huh, it was a good thing he’d never met Yahiko then.

“What are you thinking about so deeply?” Sasuke said, having already moved to clear the table.

Naruto jumped up “Just let me do it this time. Alright?” He said, much too intensely for what the statement required.

“…alright.” Sasuke said, slipping back into his sit, though he didn’t exactly seem happy with the situation. Well too bad.

“So, if you really have errands to run, besides groceries I mean, I actually have something I want to do today too. If that’s okay?” Naruto said as he started washing the dishes.

“I’m a big boy Naruto, I’m going to be fine.”

“Then we can meet up with Sakura later like we said. I can let her know…and maybe we can talk about that trip. If you’re really staying?” Naruto send him a look back across his shoulder and Sasuke met his eyes.

“Your trust in my words warms my heart” Sasuke muttered. “Yes, I will let Kakashi know at some point today.”

Naruto smiled “Oh I guess I should also talk to him about the leave. Maybe we can go together?”

Sasuke looked amused “Didn’t you take a sick day? Is it really the best idea to barge in there today looking like the picture of health?”

Naruto waved a dismissive hand “I’m pretty sure everyone already knows why I didn’t go in today.” He turned off the tap and then grinned “Are you saying I look good?”

“That’s certainly not what I said.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him “What do you mean they all know anyway?”

“Oh” Naruto put a hand behind his head, laughing “I may have been a little too eager to leave yesterday, so they just put two and two together.” He was somewhat embarrassed, but when he looked up, Sasuke was giving him such a fond look that he found himself forgetting about it.

He grinned “Man, you’re so expressive these days. It’s really…it’s great.”

“I was always fairly expressive around you, I think.” Sasuke said simply.

Naruto felt his face warm again as he chuckled “Yeah I guess, it’s just that the emotions those days were mostly anger and disgust.”

Sasuke smirked “Yeah, mostly.”

Naruto picked up a towel from besides the sink and threw it at the man “At least deny it asshole.”

Sasuke caught the towel without glancing at it and shook his head.

“So, if they’d already connected your absence to my return, do you want me to give a heads up to Kakashi about you not going in next week? So you can go take care of…whatever it is you need to do today?”

Naruto thought about it. Kakashi would probably yell at him for being unprofessional, but the man had been telling Naruto to take a break anyway, so it’s not like he could complain that much. Naruto ended up nodding “Yeah, thanks Sasuke. I’ll let Sakura know then, and I’ll come find you once I’m done.”

Sasuke nodded. They hung around the kitchen for another hour or so, talking about nothing of importance, and Naruto found himself feeling pretty damn peaceful.

 Eventually, Sasuke got up to head upstairs and change. Naruto watched him leave and realized that now he had his own task in front of him. Hinata had Fridays off, and once Naruto made a decision, he wasn’t eager to drag it out. Still, he swallowed, his good mood diminishing. It wasn’t going to be easy.

***

But it also hadn’t been as hard as he’d expected. It turned out everything really was easy with Hinata, even breaking up. She had cried which had been awful, but all in all, she had not seemed as shocked as Naruto would have expected. They’d talked for a few hours, grabbed lunch together, and Naruto had explained and apologized. Well, it wasn’t as if he had much in the way of an explanation. There was no good reason to break up with someone like Hinata, and he’d told her as much. It just wasn’t right between them, and Naruto had realized that Hinata deserved better than what Naruto had been able to give her.

He knew he’d made the right decision, because despite how terrible it had been in the moment, when it was all said and done, Naruto had felt significantly lighter than he’d had for months.

Oddly, when they stepped outside of the restaurant, Hinata had asked “Is Sasuke-kun back in the village?”

Naruto had blinked at her, not sure why she would be asking. He couldn’t think of any other time Hinata had brought up Sasuke in conversation “Uh yeah, for a short time, I’m meeting up with him later today.”

Oh, was that bad? Did that seem like breaking up with Hinata was just one of the things he’d scheduled for the day? Naruto flinched. But Hinata didn’t seem upset. She just gave him a thoughtful look.

“You know Naruto, I really want you to be happy.”

“Oh” Naruto said, feeling sad and touched at once “You’re an amazing person, Hinata… I’m really... Can I maybe hug you?”

Hinata moved to hug him first, and just like that, Naruto’s longest, and really only significant relationship came to an end.

He found himself contemplative as he found Sakura in the hospital for a brief chat. By the time he could set off in search of Sasuke, it was close to evening already, and he still wanted to go home and change. So instead, he sent the man a summon with the name of the restaurant and the time they’d arranged with Sakura and rushed home, feeling oddly urgent to change and head there already.

Despite his rush, when Naruto reached the restaurant, it was to see Sasuke and Sakura waiting outside in quiet conversation with one another.

Naruto waited for a moment, watching the two. Sakura seemed to be passionately recounting something and Sasuke was listening and occasionally smiling at whatever Sakura said. They looked good together. Naruto wondered again what it would have been like if the two had ended up in a relationship. There was no denying that he felt uneasy at the thought. Perhaps it would be hard for anyone to have their two best friends date. Was he worried he’d be left behind?

Was there a chance Sasuke had been talking about Sakura after all? He could have just switched the pronouns to throw Naruto off. Sasuke was not often one to bother with that kind of deception, but Naruto supposed, if it was Sakura, he would have had a stronger motivation to not want Naruto to find out. It was true that Sakura had been seeing someone from the hospital for a while now, and hadn’t Sasuke said that he thought this person loved him too, in some capacity? That could certainly describe Sakura. Besides, the two had known each other for a long time. It made more sense than it being someone random Sasuke had met on a mission.

As if sensing his growing unease, Sasuke looked up and caught Naruto’s gaze. Sakura, following his gaze, immediately came forward to give him a hug. Though they’d seen each other earlier today, Sakura had been in a rush to go back to his shift, and they hadn’t done much besides agree on a time and place.

Despite Naruto’s odd feelings, he still felt a sense of joy as the three of them took their table inside. Sakura and Sasuke ended up on one side and Naruto faced them on the other, which if Naruto was honest with himself, would not have been how he’d arranged it.

“What were you telling Sasuke out there, Sakura-chan? I swear I almost saw the cold bastard crack a smile.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Sakura laughed “Well, it so happens that I was telling him about the time you used your clones to make copies of very official and important documents for Kakashi so you could go out, but they ended up including a few choice paragraphs from Kakashi’s favorite book…”

Naruto groaned. He supposed it was kind of nice that they’d been talking about him, but couldn’t it have been any other story?

“Ah Kakashi really had my ass for that you know.”

“I believe they call that workplace harassment these days.” Sasuke muttered dryly and Sakura almost choked on the water she was drinking.

Naruto looked at Sasuke in astonishment “Since when do you have such a dirty mind?”

Sasuke simply raised an eyebrow at him, refusing to comment further.

The three fell into easy conversation. At one point as Sasuke started asking Sakura about particular medical Justus, and Naruto found himself observing them again. There wasn’t any particular tension between them that he could sense, even watching them so carefully, but if Sasuke really had been talking about Sakura, he would have plenty of practice at keeping it hidden.

“Actually,” Sakura said suddenly turning towards Naruto “Hinata once mentioned something about being interested in learning some healing too, and with the Byakugan, I think that would be fantastic. Do you have a sense of how serious she might be about that?”

Naruto had had no idea Hinata was interested in healing, let alone how serious she might have been. Had he been a terrible boyfriend? Well, there would be time to reflect on that later. He cleared his throat “Uh not really, I wouldn’t know.”

Sakura gave him an odd look “Well alright, maybe you can ask her later and let me know. How is Hinata anyway?”

“Uh good, I hope.” Now both of them were looking at him oddly, so Naruto supposed it was as good of a time as any “Actually we broke up, so.”

There was silence for a moment, and then Sasuke slowly set down the glass of water he’d been holding “You what?”

Was Naruto being crazy or did Sasuke sound angry? No, that would be quite odd wouldn’t it?

Naruto nodded “Yup, so Sakura-chan I think it would be best if you ask her about the healing thing yourself, you know, given the circumstances.”

“Naruto…” Sakura said, seeming lost for words. For whatever odd reason, she glanced at Sasuke.

Naruto followed her glance and yes, Sasuke did indeed look angry, though he seemed like he was attempting to hide it “Naruto” He said, “Did you not think of mentioning this to me earlier?”

Ah, Hinata had come up a few times, so maybe it made sense for Sasuke to be annoyed if he thought Naruto had been hiding his breakup purposefully, though his reaction seemed a bit extreme, if Naruto could say so himself.

“Well, I couldn’t have, given it literally happened a few hours ago.” Naruto said, matching Sasuke’s annoyed tone by habit, though he couldn’t put any heart into it.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Naruto. Are you okay?” Sakura said, sounding concerned, which was in fact the appropriate way to respond to hearing about a friend’s break up.

“That’s ‘the thing’ you had to take care of today?” Sasuke asked incredulously.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head “Uh yeah, I don’t really want to talk about it right now, if you two don’t mind.”

Sasuke certainly looked like he minded but he grudgingly joined Sakura in nodding his assent. An awkward silence settled between the three of them for the first time. Clearly the other two were still curious but were trying to respect his request.

Naruto sighed “Look, I’d been having…doubts, I guess for a while, but I just put some things in perspective recently, and yeah, I think Hinata deserves better anyway.”

He expected one of his friends to tease him about that being true, so he was surprised when he saw nothing but concern on Sakura’s face, and…something he couldn’t quite read on Sasuke’s. He certainly didn’t look like he would jump to teasing him right now.

“Don’t say that Naruto, from what I saw, you were a great boyfriend.”

Naruto smiled at Sakura, thinking that it meant a lot to hear that now, even if he wasn’t sure he agreed. “Yeah, I suppose it was more that, I didn’t think I felt so differently towards her than I did about my friends, and she deserved someone who would be …looking forward to seeing her every time, you know.”

Sakura nodded simply “Yeah, I can see that. You did a good thing Naruto.”

Naruto smiled weakly at her, still a little melancholy, though he agreed. It had been a good thing.

“Don’t you think he did the right thing Sasuke-kun?” Sakura asked the boy sitting next to her pointedly, and Naruto found himself looking at Sasuke too. He was watching him rather intently. They held each other’s gazes for what felt unnecessarily long, before Sasuke eventually said, “It sounds that way” and looked away.

Sakura glanced between the two of them, and Naruto thought he saw her look thoughftul, but she didn’t say anything on it.

Naruto smiled anyway “Oh well, Sasuke is only saying that because he thinks now it’s all the easier for us to take that trip together that he is looking forward to so much.”

Sakura looked up curiously “Oh? What is this about?”

Naruto briefly told her about their plan for next week, not that they had done much planning. Though Sasuke confirmed that Kakashi had not put up much of a fight. As he talked though, he belatedly realized that perhaps Sakura would also like to join them on this trip. She had been putting so many hours in at the hospital, she was probably ready to get away.

Ah, Naruto should have thought this through more before mentioning it. He should have at least talked to Sasuke before. Would the other man even be okay with Naruto suddenly inviting Sakura to join them? It felt awkward not to, but there was a small part of Naruto that had been excited about the idea of spending some time just with Sasuke, given how little time he always had with him.

He threw Sasuke a pleading look, though he was not even sure what he wanted him to do. Sasuke met his glance for a moment before turning towards Sakura “Would you want to join us Sakura? We don’t have any concrete plans in mind at the moment.”

Ah well, there he went.

Naruto knew he might be a bit more paranoid that he would be normally, but he swore he saw the two of them exchange some sort of a look before Sakura smiled “No I think you two should go.” He turned towards Naruto, “I have too much on my plate anyway, and I have a boyfriend now you know, I can’t just leave town at the drop of a hat.”

Naruto hadn’t known they’d made it official and took a moment to feel happy for her. He glanced at Sasuke, but Sasuke looked as neutral as he ever did.

But if there was nothing going on, what had that look they’d shared been about?

Sakura started suggesting a few popular vacation destinations outside of Konoha as Naruto listened distractedly until one caught his attention “Sakura-chan, isn’t that some sort of popular couples gateway spot?”

He knew because he remembered Hinata once offhandedly mentioning it. Sakura shrugged noncommittally, and it’s not like Naruto cared, he’d just thought it was an odd suggestion for her to make.

If it really was Sakura that Sasuke loved, she would want to know, wouldn’t she? She seemed happy with the guy she was dating, but wouldn’t she choose Sasuke in a heartbeat?

Even though he’d thought the same thing earlier, thinking it about Sakura seemed like crossing a line, as if he thought Sakura was only dating someone else because she hadn’t had Sasuke. Things became more complicated when it was no longer about some faceless person but about someone he knew. Naruto should probably back off, even in his own mind. It wasn’t really any of his business, as he was sure Sasuke would be too happy to remind him.

At that thought, he glanced at Sasuke who seemed to be watching him as if he could read Naruto’s mind. Naruto shuddered at the idea and tried to focus back on what Sakura was saying.

But Sakura was wearing a smile that Naruto knew from previous experience smelled trouble “So Naruto, this is going to look interesting, won’t it?”

“Huh?” Naruto was lost “What are you talking about?”

“Well,” Sakura drawled. “Sasuke comes to town and within a day you break up with your girlfriend and now the two of you are leaving town together to go to a romantic couples retreat?”

Naruto felt his jaw literally hang open. He was so shocked, he genuinely didn’t think he’d be able to string a sentence together if he tried. He just watched the girl who looked back at him innocently.

Naruto didn’t even dare glance in Sasuke’s direction.

Worst of all, he felt his face heat up and he just knew he’d gone red from his forehand to his collarbones “Sakura-chan, that’s…I don’t even…there isn’t… That’s… You were the one who was suggesting the retreat anyway.” Naruto finally managed to get out, not that that seemed to be the biggest point to argue in the moment.

Naruto still refused to look towards Sasuke. But he could swear he heard the other man chuckle. Why wasn’t he as embarrassed as Naruto? The traitor.

“Hmm” Sakura hummed as if all of this was normal “And didn’t you say that something recently put things into perspective for you?”

Naruto opened his mouth to argue that that had nothing to do with Sasuke, and then promptly closed it.

He certainly liked to think that he would have made the same decision eventually anyway, but he knew that without yesterday’s conversations with Sasuke, it would have taken him much longer to realise he had to end his relationship, weeks, months even.

“Yeah, I thought so” Sakura grinned at him “Well, I’m happy for you Naruto. I really am.”

Naruto picked at his leftovers just to have something to do “I don’t even know what you’re talking about Sakura-chan” He grumbled.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty then, isn’t he Sasuke-kun?” Sakura said, sounding way too happy, and to make matters all that much worse, Sasuke replied almost immediately “I couldn’t argue with that.”

***

Naruto was quiet as they walked home, thinking about the events of the day. Waking up next to Sasuke, breaking up with Hinata, and the dinner that Naruto had enjoyed despite it occasionally taking a strange turn.

Sakura had hugged both of them goodbye as they headed one way and her another, and Naruto thought he saw her whisper something to Sasuke, in response to which, the other man had just shaken his head.

Sasuke suddenly stopped walking. “Naruto” Sasuke said “Your house is that way.” He pointed his chin towards the turn they’d just passed.

Oh, Naruto hadn’t really been thinking, but he realized he’d just assumed they’d be going to Sasuke’s house together again, though there was no reason to suggest so.

Well, Naruto had promised that they would spend all their time together, and they still had a trip to plan.

“Come on Sasuke, your best friend has just broken up with his girlfriend of many months, the least you can do is offer him shelter.” Naruto said as he started walking towards the Uchiha district again. Not that more than a single Uchiha inhibited it now.

Sasuke grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘who said anything about a best friend’ but caught up with Naruto anyway.

He also didn’t say anything in protest as they took turns in the shower, brushed their teeth and quietly made their way to Sasuke’s bedroom, as if it was something they had agreed upon. So Naruto found himself smiling as they walked in, and he went to open the window halfway. When he turned back, he saw Sasuke standing by the door and looking at him. For what seemed like the hundredth times, their gazes held for a moment too long. Though Naruto was grinning, and it all felt very easy between them at the moment.

Sasuke turned off the lights before joining Naruto on the bed, each taking the same side as the previous night. It all felt so… domestic. It was nice. Naruto had never lived with anyone before. Not that they were living together now, but it felt very easy to pretend that was so.

Though the fantasy would make it that much harder when Sasuke left. Extra week or not, it was still not that much time that they had together, was it?

Naruto knew if he dwelt on it too much, it would only dampen his mood so instead he turned towards Sasuke, who, this time, was already laying on his side facing him “So, where do you want to go?” Naruto asked quietly.

Sasuke seemed to think about it for a moment before he smirked “The retreat sounds intriguing”

Naruto sputtered, choking on air as he sent Sasuke’s laughing body a glare. Once he recovered, Naruto muttered “Well obviously not the retreat”

Sasuke shrugged neutrally “Alright, though you can’t blame me for thinking it was an option given you insist on sleeping in my bed.”

Naruto just stared at him flabbergasted. Had he really just said that sentence without batting an eye?

“Why are you messing with me?” Naruto managed to ask.

“I mean, you are a single man now, aren’t you Naruto? It’s fair game to mess with you” Sasuke held his smirk for only a second. Naruto wasn’t sure what his own expression was, but all it took was a glance at it to turn Sasuke’s smirk into a chuckle “It looked like Sakura was having fun doing it, so I thought I'd give it a try.” Sasuke said, once he was done laughing.

Naruto sighed “Asshole” This wasn’t a side of Sasuke he’d really seen before. It felt…interesting, even though he realized the other man was just trying to get a reaction out of him.

If Sasuke had found it fun for Sakura to joke about the two of them being a couple, then maybe it really wasn’t Sakura he was interested in. Then again, the bastard had always had a perchance for masochism. Hadn’t he?

“What are you thinking about so seriously?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto turned to look at him “whether or not you’re a masochist” he replied seriously, and then it was his turn to watch a series of interesting expressions go over Sasuke’s face. Naruto found himself smiling. Sasuke had a point, this was fun.

“I might require additional context” Sasuke said eventually.

And Naruto felt his smile turn into a frown as he thought a bit more before saying “I was wondering whether it might be Sakura you’re interested in.”

“Excuse me?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto looked at the celling as he thought aloud “It makes some sense, you’ve known her for years, you don’t seem to mind spending time with her, she is seeing someone else, and well you could have just switched the pronouns to turn me off the trail, so to speak”

He looked back at Sasuke only to see the other sending him such an incredulous look, he suddenly felt like laughing.

“I take it from your expression that I’m way off base?”

Sasuke shook his head, looking somewhat speechless.

“Hey” Naruto protested, laughing a little now “It’s not that crazy.”

Sasuke turned on his stomach and said something into his pillow.

“What?” Naruto asked, moving forward with the hope of making out the words. Sasuke suddenly turned back to his side, and Naruto had the sense they were both taken aback at how close Naruto was.

“I said,” Sasuke enunciated clearly “you are truly and unequivocally an idiot”

“Whatever” Naruto huffed. Still distracted by the proximity, but not moving away, so he wasn’t even fully sure what he was saying “Sakura’s great.”

“You date her then.” Sasuke said. Surprising Naruto, he also didn’t move back. Was the bastard taking this as some sort of challenge? Both of their faces were lying on one pillow now. Sasuke couldn’t be comfortable with this. 

“What? No. I don’t want to date Sakura.”

“But she is great” Sasuke said, managing to sound sincere and mocking at the same time.

“Oh, shut up” Naruto said, not moving back but turning his face to the celling again “It was just a guess. I wouldn’t have to guess if you would just tell me.”

“Why are you still thinking about this?” Sasuke asked, though Naruto wasn’t sure if he was complaining or if he was genuinely curious. Looking at the celling made it easier to hold the conversation, but it was harder to interpret Sasuke’s words without seeing his expression.

“I’m just curious.” Naruto replied simply.

“Curious?” Sasuke asked.

“Hmm, I want to know what kind of person could, I don’t know, capture your interest. You said you were in love with them, so it’s beyond that even. It must be someone…really great, I think.”

Sasuke was quiet for a few breaths and when Naruto finally snuck a glance at him, he seemed thoughtful. He caught the look though, and said “Didn’t you say whoever it was was an idiot last night?”

Naruto let out a breath of amusement “Yeah well, maybe that’s your type” he rolled his eyes “Though I suppose you could have just dated me then.”

 He realized what he’d said a second too late and felt his face heat up again.

What was that? Damn Sakura and her inappropriate jokes, and damn Sasuke for continuing them later. Now Sasuke would hold this over his head forever.

“Yes, I suppose I could have.” Sasuke said in an exceptionally dry tone, even for him. It gave Naruto the courage to sneak a look at him. He needn’t have feared because it was Sasuke who was looking up this time. Though once he realized Naruto was looking at him, he returned the gaze “You are the biggest idiot I know after all. But you were unavailable, weren’t you?”

“Oh please.” Naruto huffed “Hinata and I didn’t start dating for quite a few months after the war. Not that you stuck around that long.”

What even was this conversation? Naruto wasn’t sure what he was saying, and why was Sasuke entertaining him?

“And I’m available now, aren’t I?” He said, nailing his own coffin.

Sasuke just looked at him for a good, long while, before he said simply “I suppose you are.” Then quite unexpectedly “They do say rebound sex is a great cure for heartbreak.”

Ah. Naruto should perhaps be getting used to this. Sasuke’s dry humor clearly extended to areas Naruto had never had reason to consider before.

Weirdly though he found himself more distracted by his desire to clarify “It doesn’t feel like rebound to be honest, or heartbreak. I feel like that relationship was over weeks ago, maybe months, I just hadn’t realized it.”

“Naruto” Sasuke said, he sounded quite neutral “Just to be clear, are you trying to convince me to ask you out?”

Naruto laughed, though it sounded odd even to his own ears. Regardless, he finally rolled back to his own side of the bed, and ended up running a hand in his hair “It really does sound that way, doesn’t it?”

Sasuke was quiet for several moments, and Naruto couldn’t have said anything had he wanted to. Eventually Sasuke sighed “Go to sleep Naruto. We can talk about the trip tomorrow.”

Naruto nodded. “Good night, Sasuke” He managed to get out, despite the odd mix of feelings swirling inside of him.

“Good night, Naruto”

                                                         ***

Naruto woke up to find the other side of the bed empty again, but despite a brief pang of disappointment at the sight -why?- it probably wasn’t the worst thing. He needed some time to think, so he just lay there, staring at the celling.

What was that last night? Because even replaying the conversation to himself in daylight, it certainly had sounded like he was trying to get Sasuke to date him.

Had he gotten caught up in his excitement over seeing Sasuke again, and the two of them playing house together?

But it had been him who insisted on staying over, and then insisted on sleeping in the same bed. It’s not like those things just happened and he got caught up in them. It made sense to him that he’d want to. He’d missed Sasuke. He always wanted more time with him, even if it was just sleeping close to one another. But would it make sense to anyone else?

Then again, people had always been confused by their relationship, hadn’t they? Naruto had spent most of his teenage years just…pining after Sasuke. Wasn’t that the word Kakashi and Jiraya had both been so fond of using?

Naruto had certainly heard others question, kindly or less so, the nature of his relationship with Sasuke for most of his life, but he’d never been one to pay much mind to that. Sasuke was his best friend.

But, would he insist on sleeping in the same bed with Kiba or Shikamaru, even if they were gone for months at the time? It’s not like he would have minded it, if they had to, but he certainly wouldn’t go out of his way to make it happen.

But that didn’t mean he wanted to… what, date Sasuke? Kiss Sasuke? Hook up with Sasuke?

Now that was a thought.

Sasuke was a dude. Not that Naruto really cared about that on principal, but it wasn’t something he’d thought about before. More importantly than that, Sasuke was Sasuke. This was a crazy thing to consider.

Though if Naruto was choosing to be completely honest with himself right now, he could recall a few instances during those teenage years where he’d had some very… interesting dreams. Dreams that he’d promptly shoved into his subconscious and done whatever he could to forget.

That wasn’t that weird, was it? His teenage hormones were just confused by the intensity of his relationship with Sasuke, it didn’t have to mean anything.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair. The more he thought about it, the more it sounded like… Well, if someone else told him all of that, he would tell them it sounded like they were a goner.

Which reminded Naruto of the fact that Sasuke was in love.

Not only was he entertaining the idea that he had feelings for his guy best friend, who happened to be Sasuke, but he was also thinking of being in love with someone who seemed very much hung up on someone else himself.

What would even be the point of figuring out his own feelings then, when it could risk ruining the most important relationship in his life, and when Sasuke was in love with someone else already.

Just in the safety of his own brain, he entertained the idea of how Sasuke would react if he were to tell him… that he loved him.

Huh.

Naruto could feel that he instinctively wanted to move away from that train of thought. It was a familiar impulse, he realized suddenly. At some point, he’d trained himself to always stay away from thinking too deeply about his relationship with Sasuke.

He fought that instinct now. Maybe he should start small. Did he want to… hold Sasuke’s hand?

Ah what had he become, a little girl? This was embarrassing.

But yes, he knew the answer was yes. He often wanted to touch Sasuke in different ways, he’d always thought it was because of how close he’d come to losing him. He constantly wanted to reassure himself that he was there.

The idea of kissing Sasuke was certainly odd, but not altogether unpleasant. If he was honest, he felt a sense of curiously flare inside him at the thought.

Alright.

So, what if he really were to tell Sasuke? He could feel his palms get sweaty at the mere suggestion, his heart rate picking up.

What a truly terrifying idea.

Would Sasuke… react badly? Naruto didn’t really think so. If Naruto had to guess, Sasuke would probably be well,… kind, in his own way. Potentially by pretending it had never happened and going back to normal. But would it be a burden to him? Would he overthink how he acted around Naruto afterwards? Would he feel uncomfortable?

He thought of last night, Sasuke asking him so neutrally Are you trying to convince me to ask you out Naruto?

At least he hadn’t seemed freaked out, but had he just taken it all as a joke, a continuation of what they’d talked about before? It hadn’t sounded that way, but he could barely blame the man for not knowing, since Naruto himself hadn’t even known what he was doing last night.

Naruto sighed.

“You’re awake.”

Naruto flinched so hard, it actually hurt a little. He leaned up on his elbows and was greeted with the sight of Sasuke watching him from the doorframe.

“Were you expecting breakfast in bad?” Sasuke asked him with an eyebrow up.

Naruto just let himself fall back onto the bed and groaned. Then, for no particular reason he picked up one of the pillows and threw it as Sasuke without looking. He put some real strength behind it too.

When he hadn’t heard anything, he gave in to curiosity and sat up again. Sasuke, holding the pillow in one hand, was just looking at Naruto. He seemed at least a little amused, but also… thoughtful? He looked good, Naruto thought, and then groaned again.

“You suck” He told Sasuke, glaring.

Sasuke’s smirk widened, he opened his mouth and Naruto knew, he just knew, the other man had been about to say something perverted, but then he closed his mouth again, seeming to change his mind for whatever reason. Afraid of giving Naruto the wrong idea?

Naruto wanted to throw another pillow at him.

“Maybe we should go the training grounds today.” Naruto muttered “I have the strongest urge to beat the crap out of you.”

“How charming” Sasuke said dryly. “Though we could actually do that.” Sasuke said, stretching, and Naruto found himself following the movement with way too much attention.

That was it. He jumped off the bed. “Yes, we should definitely definitely do that.” He walked by Sasuke to leave for the bathroom, and for good measure, made sure to give him a hard push with his shoulders, not that the other man moved an inch.

***

It was clear that Naruto had woken up in an interesting mood.

Sasuke observed.

Naruto grumbled while brushing his teeth - We have to do it multiple times every single day and then you can still get cavities? -

Naruto grumbled as he had breakfast -There is no breakfast food that’s anywhere as good as lunch and dinner foods, you can fight me on that -

Naurot almost broke Sasuke’s arms when he attempted to clear the table - I swear to god, Sasuke -

And finally, Naruto started washing the dishes with so much force that Sasuke was genuinely surprised when he didn’t end up breaking the whole bunch.

Once Naruto turned off the tap and just stood there facing the empty sink with his back to Sasuke, Sasuke thought it safest to just wait and see what the blond planned to do next. Not that he was opposed to getting a rise out of Naruto normally, but pondering the reason behind his current mood made him hesitate to do so just now.

Sasuke thought back to last night. He didn’t think much of Naruto’s half-hearted attempts to talk Sasuke into dating him. He’d just gone through a break-up, which from what Sasuke could gather seemed to have been a pretty impulsive decision. Sasuke could also tell that Naruto had been feeling generally confused after Sasuke had made the mistake of mentioning to him about his own, well for the lack of a better word, love life. So, all in all, Sasuke took Naruto’s comments last night as Naruto being Naruto and just doing things without thinking them through.

In the older days, it would have angered him, but after so many years, he’d gotten used to Naruto’s general obviousness. He knew Naruto had no idea how Sasuke felt about him, so to him, a little bit of post break-up flirting wouldn’t have seemed that big of a deal. Sasuke sighed to himself.

Naruto’s current mood was likely a consequence of him feeling vulnerable and regretful about making his not-thought-out comments last night, which he probably thought Sasuke would make fun of him for. Sasuke had planned on letting it go without comment, hoping that Naruto would eventually come to realize he wasn’t going to hold it over his head. But the more time that passed with Naruto’s mood not changing, the more Sasuke wondered if that may not be enough. Subtlety didn’t often seem to be the best approach with Naruto anyway, and Sasuke thought it might be best to just discuss it more directly.

“Naruto” He called finally when Naruto had just stood by the sink for ten minutes.

“What?” Naruto snapped half-heartedly, still not turning around.

Sasuke felt a tinge of annoyance “Turn around.” He expected Naruto to tell him that he didn’t take orders from him. But to his surprise, Naruto almost immediately turned to face him.

He didn’t look angry exactly. He gave Sasuke a long thoughtful look, which almost made Sasuke a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t often that he saw Naruto look so unreadable.

“Look Naruto” Sasuke made sure his voice was steady, but not too intense. “I wasn’t planning on bringing this up” He checked to see if Naruto was getting defensive, but he just continued to look at Sasuke with the same expression as before.

“I realize you had a hard day yesterday, and I just want to reassure you that I wasn’t going to hold anything we talked about over your head.”

Naruto didn’t immediately respond. He just kept looking at Sasuke, not looking particularly happy nor offended by what Sasuke had said.

After a moment's pause, Naruto asked “Why not?”

Sasuke frowned. Had that not been enough to reassure him? Sasuke supposed he could see why the other man would still be waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was probably expecting at least a few humiliating teasing remarks from Sasuke. 

Alright, there was a time when Sasuke could not have imagined saying something like what he was about to say aloud, but he liked to think he’d grown since those days.

“All I’m saying is that, well, we are friends Naruto. So, I’m just not taking it seriously. Alright?”

Naruto huffed. He actually had the nerve to huff. Did he still not believe Sasuke? No trust, after all these years? That didn’t seem like Naruto, not that Sasuke could really blame him. He’d done quite a lot to destroy the other man’s trust in him across the years. 

“Being friends means you won’t take my words seriously?” Naruto looked at him, unsmiling.

What? Did Naruto even realize what he was saying.

“I meant…” Sasuke started to explain, had he not been clear?

Naruto sighed, suddenly looking despondent “I know what you meant. I… thanks, I guess.”

Naruto walked towards him, pushing the dusting rag he’d holding into Sasuke’s chest as he walked out of the kitchen. Sasuke took it automatically.

“To the training grounds we go” Naruto said, from the living room, as Sasuke just stood there, trying to understand what had just happened.

***

It had not taken Naruto that long to accept a few things as he went about wanting to break things that morning.

Naruto was in love with Sasuke.

Sasuke was in love with someone.

Naruto wanted Sasuke to know he loved him,

but the prospect was proving to be more terrifying than facing Kaguya again.

On one level, it wasn’t that big of a deal. After all, Naruto had come to accept it just fine after only a few hours, had he not? So Sasuke should just be a big boy and take it too. So what if his best friend was in love with him? It’s not like the world was going to end.

But on another level, well Naruto thought about the small chance of Sasuke taking it badly, and not to be dramatic or anything, but it did kind of feel like his entire life would be changed, and obviously not for the better.

But since when was Naruto someone who let fear stop him? He had a reputation to maintain, even if it was just in front of himself.

He just needed to spend some more time alone with Sasuke to figure out how to tell him. It’s not like there would be a good moment for it, but he was hoping for a less bad moment. Telling your best friend you were in love with them, was, all in all, not that dissimilar to ripping off a band aid.

That’s why Naruto was disappointed when they got to the training grounds only to find the area pretty crowded. Naruto should have foreseen it, given it was peak training hour on a weekend, but well, he’d been preoccupied with other matters, namely his gay feelings for his friend.

Worse than the crowds was the fact that as soon as the two of them headed towards one of the sparring areas, they started drawing an audience. Given their reputations, it wasn’t entirely unexpected, but what did people think was going to happen? It’s not like the two of them were going to throw around demigod level jutsus in training ground number 5. It was just going to be a friendly match.

Still, as more and more people gathered, Naruto had to stop himself from growling in frustration. Not that he had been planning to tackle Sasuke in the middle of fighting and confess his undying love. But well, he hadn’t thought doing that would be quite so out of the question either.

He half expected Sasuke to be bothered by the audience too, but the other man barely spared them a glance. He’d always been much better at ignoring people, for better and for worse.

As they both took off their outer robes, Sasuke confirmed “Taijutsu only?”

Naruto nodded. Genjutsu was meaningless between them, and things tended to get out of hand when they fought with Ninjutsu. After the last time when they’d well, created a small crater, Kakashi had expressly forbidden anything beyond Taijutsu spars between the two of them unless they went beyond the village borders.

As they began, Naruto just let go. He barely had to think during the first few rounds as they warmed up, letting instincts take over. It was nice, really. Peaceful. Even if that might be an odd way to think of fighting.

Friendly matches were alway a good way to burn up some energy anyway, but his body was so used to the way Sasuke’s moved that fighting with him took on a meditative quality. Not that, if they got more serious about it, Sasuke couldn’t always pull out some move to take him off guard. Naruto, of course, liked to think he could do the same to the other. Though he did wonder, if Sasuke’s travels, compared to Naruto’s much more sedentary lifestyle these days, might not give him an advantage over time.

He didn’t like the idea but not for the same reasons that he might have once. There was a bit of pride of course, but it was mostly because he didn’t like to consider that one day, he might not be able to spar with Sasuke in this easy way, when Sasuke might have to think about pulling back. Though if it ever got to that, he didn’t think Sasuke would be opposed to showing him some new techniques he picked up in his missions. For now, they still remained pretty evenly matched. In Taijutsu, Lee and Sakura were great sparring partners, but Naruto only ever felt okay to completely let go when it was Sasuke.

As they got more into it, they got faster and faster, and he could tell they were both now putting more force behind the blows, though still nothing that would be close to either of their full capacities. He managed to tune out the sounds of the crowd. They seemed to mostly be cheering for him, though it was nowhere as unequal or as unfriendly towards Sasuke as it had been in the early days after the war. There was now not an insignificant number who also seemed to root for him. That bastard. Naruto thought with a measure of fondness. He wasn’t even in the village that often, but his cool mysterious air always captured the imagination of other Ninjas. Particularly the younger generation who were not as hung up on his past and had not seen him in action, but had heard he was capable of keeping up with Naruto.  

Sasuke never cared about any of that though. He never seemed to care what most people thought of him, not when it was praise and admiration nor when it was distrust and hatred. Naruto knew Sasuke cared about his opinion though, and the thought never failed to give him a warm feeling.

At that exact moment, Sasuke managed to land a particularly brutal punch in the center of his chest, exactly where Naruto had been feeling all warm and fuzzy, that bastard. It was almost as if he had a sense for these things.

Naruto had to concentrate. Things were heating up between them, both of them now sweating form the effort.

That morning, Naruto had thought about whether touching Sasuke would be strange. The idea of living with him, sharing his life with him, or sleeping next to him, had not seemed as strange as the idea of having a physical relationship with him. Now, as they twisted around one another, Naruto had the urge to laugh as he suddenly became conscious of exactly how physical their relationship was already. That wasn’t something you wanted to think about when you were sparring with someone though, because things could get awkward very quickly…

Naruto wasn’t sure what happened, but he was lying on the ground, staring at the sky, a buzzing sound reverberating in his ear.

“Naruto!” Sasuke’s face suddenly came into view above him. Naruto gave him a dizzy him as Sasuke crouched by his head. “What the hell Naruto? You just took a punch straight to the head, even a genin could have dodged that. If I hadn’t pulled back at the last second…”

Sasuke sounded angry. Why did he sound angry?

“Hey, Are you with me? Do we need to take you to the hospital?” Sasuke asked more quietly, slowly moving Naruto’s head this way and that.

Then Naruto felt a cool feeling settle over his head as the buzzing slowly reduced. He looked at Sasuke’s blurry face, as slowly it came more and more into focus, until he could see the expression of intense concentration on the other’s face.  

As Naruto’s mental facilities slowly came back, he had to laugh at himself because otherwise he’d be hitting himself over the head and undoing all of Sasuke’s hard work.

Speaking off, “Those lessons from Sakura really paid off, huh?” Naruto asked as Sasuke finally took his hand off his head, and Naruto realized that outside of his embarrassment, he was feeling no worse off than before.

Sasuke sighed “It’s a basic jutsu, I realized I was going to make impact in time, so it wasn’t a serious injury. It would have healed on its own.”

Naruto smiled “No need to be so modest Sasuke.”

“And we’re done.” Sasuke said and stood up in one fluid motion, but before Naruto could protest, he held out a hand and pulled him up to his feet as well.

The crowd was dispersing. They would certainly have a story to tell. Naruto sighed, but for once he couldn’t be bothered to care so much.

“It’s their lucky day, seeing their next Hokage brought down by a move they learn in the academy” Sasuke said with a smirk, and Naruto wondered what it would be like to lean forwards and kiss that smirk off right then and there.

***

Naruto once again found himself sitting behind Sasuke’s kitchen island, watching as the other man made what he considered to be ‘a simple lunch’.

Naruto, while not completely living off of ramen anymore, regardless of what everyone assumed, could never be bothered to make a meal that took longer than fifteen minutes to cook and eat. Sasuke through, did it all with efficient ease, and Naruto found himself captivated with the smallest of his motions. The way he wielded the knife as easily as he did Kunais to cut up a neat row of carrot pieces, the casual way he swung the pot with the noodles in it, the way he smelled the garlic and winced just slightly. As Sasuke tasted what he was making, Naruto wondered how he’d react if Naruto pushed his head forward and requested to be a fed a bit of it for tasting too.

Yeah, right, that would be a good way to get smacked in the head.

He’d offered to buy them lunch, but Sasuke had explained in no uncertain terms that he had a perfectly fine kitchen that he liked to use when he was back. Then Naruto had offered to help him cook, but Sasuke hadn’t even dignified that with a response. This time, Naruto didn’t insist. He was too distracted anyway, and after the sparring incident, he thought it might be better if he stayed away from sharp or hot things for a while.

Though some might consider Sasuke both of those things, and Naruto didn’t plan to stay away from him.

At that thought, Naruto put his head down on the kitchen island, hard, and considered actually hitting it against the counter a few times. Maybe it would put his brain back where it was meant to be, and he could go back to being normal. 

He stayed like that until he felt Sasuke place a plate by his head. Then to his astonishment, he also received three distinct pats on the top of his head. It wasn’t romantic, it was more like he was some sort of domesticated animal.

Naruto sat up, unsure if he should glare at Sasuke for the act, but the other man had already started eating.

Naruto took a bite. It was, of course, delicious.

Naruto sighed. It was good that Sasuke had gone on that homicidal rampage, otherwise he would just be perfect, wouldn’t he?

Naruto frowned.

“Does your head hurt?” Sauske asked, and Naruto looked up to see him sending a concerned glance his way, though he was clearly trying to seem neutral.

Naruto smiled “No, you did good.”

Sasuke looked confused by the comment but chose to just go back to his food.

Naruto grinned “Good boy, Sasuke”

“Excuse me?” Sasuke’s head snapped up. He sounded dangerous.

“What, you don’t like it? Weren’t you just petting me like a dog?”

“I suppose that’s not inaccurate; you could be a stray who followed me home one day.” Sasuke smirked.

Naruto wasn’t particularly fond of that image, and huffed.

Sasuke wasn’t that dog-like anyway. He’d be one of those black cats who pretended they didn’t give a shit about you but somehow ended up in the same room as you 90% of the time.

“What are you smiling at idiot?”

Naruto just shook his head.

“So” Sasuke said “We should actually decide where we want to go.”

“Yeah?” Naruto perked up “Do you have anywhere in mind?”

Sasuke thought about it for a moment before he shrugged. Naruto found himself staring at the line of his shoulders, and the parts of his collarbone that weren’t covered by his shirt. He’d punched that collarbone quite a few times.

“I’m happy to go where you want Naruto”

Naruto looked up at him “What if I choose somewhere ridiculous?”

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow “What would constitute a ridiculous place?”

Naruto blinked, completely blanking out. “Uh, like somewhere where there is nothing to do?”

Sasuke snorted “I’m sure we could still entertain ourselves.”

“What if I want to go to the couples retreat?” Naruto asked, not quite sure what he was challenging Sasuke about.

Sasuke took a bite of his food and shook his head, clearly thinking he was being ridiculous. “Well, then I suppose we can use the hot baths and go on the hikes, I don’t see why it needs to be exclusive to couples.”

Naruto thought about it “What if I want to go to the sand village?”

“We might be a bit pressed for time, but I don’t have any issues with Gaara, if you want to visit him.”

“Alright, what if I say I want to see the sound village?”

Sasuke snorted again “I’ll show you around my old haunts and we could clear out some thugs together.”

Naruto was running out of ideas “The valley of the end?”

Sasuke looked at him “As long as you’re not planning a reenactment, we can take some sake and reminisce on our youth.”

They shared the look for a moment more and then Sasuke went back to eating.

Naruto continued to stare at him.

“I love you.”

Sasuke looked up at him briefly. He raised an eyebrow, looking amused “It’s not that big of a deal Naruto.”

Naruto growled. Ah, what a stupid stupid man, and everyone was always going on about his intelligence.

Naruto could let it go here, he realized. Sasuke knew he loved him, everyone knew he loved Sasuke, he had kind of make a big deal out of it when they were younger, even if he hadn’t used those exact words.

Naruto set his chopsticks down on the table. Then he leaned forward and took hold of both of Sasuke’s wrists. Sasuke dropped his chopsticks in his plate and looked up again.

“Naruto.” He said, exasperated.

“Sasuke.” Naruto returned, equally exasperated. “I’m in love with you.”

Sasuke stared at him. Because Naruto was watching so carefully, he saw the other man’s lips part just slightly, letting out a breath.

Naruto waited. Sasuke waited.

“Okay then.” Naruto said, letting go of Sasuke’s wrists. Not quite knowing what else to do, he started eating again. His heart rate had picked up significantly, but overall, that was quite anticlimactic.

“Okay then?” Sasuke repeated.

“Yeah, could you not act weird about it?”

“Naruto!” Sasuke snapped. “What do you mean you’re in love with me?” 

Couldn’t the bastard just make it easy for him for once? Naruto sighed and looked up at Sasuke. He wasn’t going to be coward about it. “Didn’t you just explain it yourself yesterday? I feel the most content when you’re around, I look forward to seeing you every time. It feels easy, because even when we argue, it’s where I want to be.” Naruto sighed again. Really, when he put it that way it was so easy to see. Funny it had taken him so many years to realize “But it’s not like we don’t have these things as we are. It’s not that different. And obviously you’re away all the time, and you love someone else, so nothing’s really going to change. I just wanted you to know.” Naruto paused, trying to put his thought to words “Maybe you think it’s selfish of me to tell you given everything, but well, just deal with it this time. I don’t think it’s ever a bad thing to hear someone loves you.”

There it was. Naruto did feel lighter now. This was what he’d wanted.

Sasuke meanwhile, looked, angry?

Naruto felt the first flicker of real concern. He hadn’t really thought Sasuke would take it badly, uncomfortably maybe, but not angrily. Could he have been so off?

“Nothing’s going to change?” Sasuke repeated, in a flat tone.

Naruto frowned. He’d just said that. “I said so, didn't I? It won’t be weird. Unless you make it weird” Naruto would make it not weird, through sheer force of will if he had to. He hoped that now that it was all out in the open, he could avoid other incidents like getting knocked out because he was too distracted by the idea of touching Sasuke.

“Because I’m away all the time, and also in love with someone else.” Sasuke repeated, again.

Well, that seemed a bit cruel of him, and here Naruto was thinking he’d grown so much more thoughtful. Naruto just gave a tight nod in response, but if Sasuke continued to be a jerk about it for much longer, he would have to beat some sense into him.

“Well Naruto,” Sasuke said, his tone moving from emotionless to annoyed “I seem to recall, you pursued Sakura for years, even though she was interested in someone else.”

Naruto, not quite sure where the other was going with this, pursed his lips “I told you I’ve changed, didn’t I? I’ve learned you can’t make people love you like that.”

“Hmm” Sasuke didn’t sound convinced. “I also remember that the last time I wasn’t here for long periods of time, you kept chasing me all over the place.”

“What’s your point Sasuke?” Naruto snapped, though he was also genuinely curious. Did Sasuke not belive him when he said he accepted things how they were? He didn’t really think Sasuke was being a jerk for its own sake.

“Tell me Naruto, when did you realize you were ‘in love with me’ as you put it?”

Naruto bristled at the phrasing, but whatever “This morning, maybe yesterday. Why does it matter?”

“So, you’ve given up after what? a total of one day?” Sasuke scoffed “How impressive”

Naruto blinked at him, genuinely astonished “What do you want me to do about it? Besides like I said, it’s not like I’m unhappy with us being friends.”

I’m not unhappy with how things are…

Naruto blinked. Huh, hadn’t Sasuke said almost exactly the same thing before?

Sasuke watched him expectantly, though expecting what, Naruto wasn’t sure.

“You know, you’re being kind of an asshole about this.” Naruto muttered, not able to hide that he was feeling a little dejected anymore. He supposed this was at least better than if Sasuke had gotten awkward and quiet, but that wasn’t much of a consolation.

Then again, maybe there wasn’t a good way to take it, Naruto didn’t know.

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. He heard movement, and when he opened his eyes, Sasuke had walked around the island and was standing in front of him.

Then, to his surprise, Sasuke put each of his hands on each of Naruto’s shoulders. He sighed “I’m sorry.”

Huh, well Naruto hadn’t expected that. He managed a weak smile “Uh it’s fine, it must have been a shock, right? it’s not every day your best friend confesses his gay feelings for you…” Sasuke winced at the phrasing, and then sighed.

“It wasn’t that Naruto, it’s just that.” He looked him in the eye “Well I suppose, I’d like to think you’d wait more than a day before giving up, given I’ve felt the same way for years.”

Naruto thought he knew what Sasuke had just said, but he also didn’t think this was a place where he wanted to risk misunderstanding, so he decided the best approach was silence, just this once.

Sasuke seemed to understand. He sighed again and said, with perfect enunciation “About you. I’ve felt the same way about you. I’ve been ‘in love’ with you, as you said it, for years”

Naruto had to laugh “Why do you say it like that?”

Sasuke looked resigned “Like what Naruto?”

“Like, I don’t know, like it should have quotations marks around it.”

Sasuke hung his head, muttering to himself, and if it was literally anyone else, Naruto would have thought they were praying for patience.

Whatever Sasuke was doing to cope, it gave Naruto a moment to actually think.

Uchiha Sasuke had been in love, with him, for years?

I believe he does love me, in his own way…

He is with someone else, Naruto…You were unavailable…

I’m the most content around this person… I’m happy to go where you want Naruto…

Didn’t you say whoever it was, was an idiot? …

It didn’t work out because it was never a real possibility…

I’ve been in love with you…

I’ve been in love with you.

“Naruto?” Sasuke sounded hesitant. Then, slow and careful, he put one hand on Naruto’s cheek, where, Naruto realized, his tears were running.

Well, wasn’t that embarrassing.

“Sasuke” Naruto said, his voice hoarse. “You’re really terrible, you know that?”

Sasuke, seeming to warm into the contact, ran his thumb over Naruto’s cheek, catching the tears. It was a little strange, since it was Sasuke… but nice, really nice

“Why am I so terrible?” Sasuke asked quietly.

“You could have told me. You could have told me years ago. All this time.”

Sasuke sighed.

“It took me less than a day to tell you. Less than a day.”

“I know” Sasuke said “Thank you.”

They stood like that for a moment, and then Naruto leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Sasuke’s chest.

“Thank you for telling me” Sasuke said, putting his arms around Naruto’s shoulder. “Thank you…for loving me.”

Naruto smiled, though he still felt a little shaky. He could feel the happiness slowly spreading inside of him as he started to think that this was real.

“Can we really…” Naruto whispered, fearing suddenly that this moment, all of it, was so fragile that it could go away with a blink “Can we really have this?”

Sasuke seemed to understand what he meant. He slowly pushed Naruto just a little away, and then surprising him for what seemed to be the thousandth time today, he leaned forward and kissed Naruto in the center of his forehead.

“Well Naruto,” He said “I don’t imagine there is anyone powerful enough to take it from us.”

“No?” Naruto smiled. What an odd thing it might have sounded to someone else, and yet how perfectly right it was for them, who had had to fight every step of the way to get here, to this moment. “What about Kakashi?”

Sasuke snorted “Please.”

“All the Kages together?”

“Barely a challenge.”

“What if they reinstate the allied shinobi forces and…”

Sasuke reached over and took his hand. Then, for good measure, squeezed it “We could take them without breaking a sweat.”

Naruto laughed.

“You’re an arrogant bastard, but you’re not wrong.”

Sasuke smiled down at him.

“Well.” Naruto said, “Maybe we could just be happy then”

“Yeah” Sasuke said simply “Yeah”

This time it was Naruto who reached out and pulled Sasuke in, his arms going around his back. In that moment, it occurred to Naruto with a strange certainty, a pre-knowing, that things would be easy between them, even if not always for them. Between them, it would be easy.

And Naruto wanted it all.

The breakfasts, the late nights talking, and tired evenings after work, the arguments, the spars, travelling together, reaching over casually to kiss a collarbone, washing the dishes, tucking black hair behind an ear, a careless kiss, falling sleep with the windows half-open.

Naruto wanted it all, and he thought, they might just have it.

Sasuke was right after all, no-one had ever been able to stand against the two of them together.