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Ava hooked her fingers around the edge of the blankets, reaching up and pulling them over her shoulders, pressing her chest further against Lizzie's. She smiled, sinking into the hard, stained mattress and the warmth that her pirate radiated underneath the covers.
Her breath puffed against Lizzie's collar as she somehow managed to pull the other woman closer, peppering feather-soft kisses against her shoulders, warm, soft lips trailing lines all the way up and down her neck. She giggled into each kiss when she felt Lizzie shudder and gasp as if she had been shocked. She made a noise similar to a breathy whine and Ava giggled into her collar, hooking her arms around her waist and settling comfortably against her.
Lizzie held Ava tighter, coiling her arms, just beginning to gain some heavier muscle, around Ava's soft waist. Her fingers curled around the back of Ava's shirt, holding her tightly and pulling her closer every time Ava lingered her lips on the soft, tender spot of her shoulders where her neck met her collar. The little dip of the bone, and the gap where the skin sank a little when Lizzie stretched in just the right way, leaning her head back to give Ava all the access that she wanted.
Each breath stuttered from her lips like a broken bellow and Ava could feel the heat of a hidden blush traveling all the way down her neck. Ava kissed her neck and pulled back just enough so that Lizzie could feel her breath down her neck as they tangled impossibly close together.
They held each other as if they were one mass, one person, one woman, one pirate, and one navy soldier. They tangled together as if they were one. As if, should they try hard enough, they could sink so deep into each other's arms that they *would* become one singular being, bones and flesh molded together to fit perfectly in each other's arms. And with how tightly Lizzie held onto Ava, it seemed like they were really trying to achieve that.
Her nails dug into the soft part of Ava's waist and she giggled, enjoying every gasp and shaky breath that she was able to pull from the other woman. Trailing her lips down her dark skin until she could bite down gently on the soft part of her shoulder, the collar of her shirt pulled back just enough to allow Ava as much skin as she wanted.
Lizzie whined and gripped Ava's shirt harder, tugging down on the hemline of the fabric as if she were trying to pull it from her skin. Ava smiled into the small kisses, dragging her teeth along Lizzie's collar, delicate enough that Lizzie could only feel the soft tingling sensation that came with it. She shivered.
“Havin' fun?” Ava drawled teasingly, running her hands up and down Lizzie's sides, slipping her hand underneath the hem of her shirt that had gotten so ruthlessly untucked over the past few minutes. She pressed her fingers against the soft side of Lizzie's waist and felt her fingers barely sink into the soft cushion that Ava wished that she could take pride in being the cause of. One day she would. One day she would be able to see her lovely pirate without her ribs showing every time she pulled her shirt off to change.
“Mhm,“ Lizzie barely gasped out, tilting her head back and pressing it deeper into the pillow underneath her. She panted and stared up at the ceiling, shivering every time Ava coiled her hand over the side of her ribs, cradling them gently and running her finger along each and every rib that protruded from underneath her skin. She was so skinny.
A pirate's life did that to a person, Ava knew that. But it didn't make her feel any better from it.
A life of growing up on the streets as a child with no way to provide for oneself did that to a person. A life of running away from danger and doing what she could just to get by did that to a person. The life that Lizzie led did that to a person.
But that didn't mean Ava had to be happy about it. That didn't mean that Ava didn't have to wish every second that she got that things were a little bit different and that Ava could lavish Lizzie with as much good home-cooked food, warm sheets, and pretty clothing as she liked. She wanted to spoil her rotten. And she had the Ferin funds to do so.
If only things were different.
”You have to let me feed you,“ Ava muttered into Lizzie's neck, burying herself into the familiar scent of sweat and vanilla. She growled to herself, a protective fire igniting in the pit of her stomach. Like a dragon discovering another piece for its hoard. She wanted to wrap Lizzie up somewhere nice and safe so that Ava could protect her forever.
”One day...“ Lizzie spit out, her voice cracked and hoarse, ”I'll eat everything you make me.“
”And I'll get to kiss all over your stomach and know you're healthy, m'kay?“ Ava leaned back just enough so that she could look at Lizzie's expression, wanting to see the lovely look on her face.
The way her eyelids were heavy and half-lidded, how her eyelashes fluttered and each breath spilled from her parted lips. The beads of sweat that slid down the side of her face, braids starting to come out from the ribbon that she had used to pull them out of her face. She looked at peace for once. Her bad eye drooped and Ava could see the pale iris behind all the scarring.
”Of course,“ Lizzie opened her eyes a bit further and blinked up at Lizzie, her lips pulling back into the faintest hint of a smile. She blinked a few times as her one eye drifted to the side before she was able to focus her attention on Ava.
”Good,“ Ava smiled and leaned down, pressing their lips together with a chaste kiss, staying there for a few seconds to linger with the feeling of Lizzie's chapped lips against hers. She sighed into the kiss and reached up with one hand to cup her hand at the side of Lizzie's neck, the tips of her fingers brushing against her jaw.
Lizzie let out a breath and relaxed into the kiss so much softer than normal and much more reserved. Her eyelids drifted shut and she made a noise similar to a hum or a whine.
When Ava pulled back, she couldn't help but giggle, love and adoration bubbling up in the back of her throat. She couldn't imagine how she managed to be here with the most gorgeous woman that she had ever seen in her entire life, and that somehow, despite being on opposite sides of an entire war, they managed to be in the same bed together at the same time. It was beautiful.
Cruel, but beautiful.
Ava kissed Lizzie's cheeks, peppering soft, chaste kisses all over her face. Her nose, her forehead, her chin, the corners of her eyes, her closed eyelid of her bad eye, her eyebrow, her hairline. Everywhere. Everywhere that her lips could reach, feeling the textures of her skin with her lips and breathing in her familiar scent, as familiar as if it were her own.
Lizzie soaked up the attention like a sponge, sighing softly with her eyes shut contentedly, allowing Ava to do as she pleased, trusting the other woman to not try anything that she knew Lizzie wouldn't like. It was new, different than what Lizzie was used to with the amount of affection.
It had been years since she had gotten affection from anyone other than Caspain. And even Caspian all it was was just his own platonic intimacies. They were nice and all. But he never held her like this. He never kissed her like this. He never made her feel so loved that she didn't even know what to think.
Caspian was hers and she was Caspian's. In a way. In the same way that someone might love their friend in the most deeply personal way that anyone can love.
But Lizzie was completely and wholly Ava's. And Ava was completely and wholly Lizzie's. And they were each other's, and they seemed to be made for each other too. Made to hold each other, made to kiss each other, made to love each other.
Lizzie had never felt so loved before. Lizzie had never felt what it was like to fall in love before, the sweet, tantalizing taste of puppy love as Ava's lips met hers again.
The feeling of her hands caressing her sides, silently feeling the texture of her ribs as they jutted out at her sides. The feeling of her fingers finding the scars that dotted across her skin, the burn marks on her stomach, the odd way her elbow bent from getting broken and never actually healing right.
The feeling of Ava's lips on her skin, her breath against her collar, her hair in Lizzie's palms. It was beautiful, and so addictive it could be enough to drive someone insane from the sweetness of it all.
Every kiss was like the taste of ambrosia blooming over her tongue when Lizzie pulled Ava closer, begging her to stay longer and longer into her kiss, her teeth working softly at her bottom lip, hands tangled in her curls the color of flames. Ava's breath on her cheek, the taste of cheap wine on her tongue, the feeling of warmth that spread all the way through her body like being drunk in a good way.
It was addicting. It was corrupting in the way that Lizzie knew that she would never be able to feel this way again except in the soft, loving arms of Ava. Because she knew that no one else would take the time to love her the way that Ava did. No one would take the time to pull back all the layers and break down all the walls that Lizzie had built up over the years to protect herself.
No one except Ava would care enough to look deeper and deeper until she found the small, scared animal that lived inside Lizzie's chest. And no one would still stick around once they saw that part of Lizzie. No one would stay like Ava would.
Ava hummed into the kiss, tilting her head to the side and pressing her nose against Lizzie's cheek. She breathed softly and sighed and Lizzie could feel the way that her lips quirked up into a small smile, everything about her radiating joy.
When she smiled, when she laughed, when she spoke to Lizzie in that soft, teasing tone that she always used when she knew that her touches managed to completely unravel Lizzie like a loose ball of yarn.
Ava giggled now, she trailed kisses from Lizzie's lips back down to her chin, back to her neck, back to her shoulders. Lizzie swore that she saw stars when Ava kissed harder to the sensitive part of her shoulder, raking her teeth softly against the skin just to make Lizzie flinch and gasp and squirm, knowing that she could pull Lizzie apart right here and right now and Lizzie would do nothing to stop it.
Ava pressed her lips to the tender skin, pressing the sharp canines into her shoulder, as hot stings of electricity ran all the way down Lizzie's spine like she had just stepped on hot coals. She gasped and whined, tilting her head back to allow Ava as much room as she wanted to explore and nibble. She could do whatever she wanted and Lizzie wouldn't stop her.
Every laugh that pulled from Ava's throat made Lizzie's face burn hotter and hotter, warmth spreading in the center of her chest and spreading all the way through her limbs, making her fingers numb with pins and needles. It made her weak to hear every laugh that Ava made, every satisfied hum, every teasing remark that fell on deaf ears.
If Lizzie were standing, she figured her knees would have given out by now. So it was a good thing that the two of them had been lying down this entire time.
”You're so pretty,” Ava muttered in Lizzie's ear, kissing her temple and nibbling a bit on her earlobe. Lizzie shivered and felt the words go through her like electricity through a pond of water. She sucked in a sharp breath and pulled Ava further against her, their chests pressed right up against each other.
Lizzie said nothing, but she was sure that the small whine that she was unable to catch before it left her mouth was enough for Ava to take satisfaction in. Lizzie felt her stomach warm at the praise, her face heating up as well. She wasn't used to all the kind words, but Ava never seemed to run out of them.
”I love you,“ Ava pressed her lips against Lizzie's cheek and then settled down so that she could bury her face against the side of Lizzie's neck. Shifting to only softly kissing her neck, peppering gentle kisses up and down her shoulders with much more finality than before.
The words caught in Lizzie's throat as she tried to say them back. All that came out was a startled choke.
She hoped that the tightness of her embrace and the way that she pulled Ava closer conveyed the same meaning as the words themselves. She leaned down just a little bit so that she could press her lips to the crown of Ava's head, holding her tightly and protectively. Ava sighed contentedly.
“I love you so much,” Ava continued, never giving Lizzie a break from the barrage of affection. She toyed at the skin of Lizzie's sides with her fingers, caressing the sides of her ribs and kissing her neck. “You're the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen, strong and beautiful. I wish you weren't a pirate.”
“I wish you weren't navy,” Lizzie muttered, her voice barely any louder than a whisper, and especially no more than a mere squeak that she barely managed to get past her lips. She felt like her brain was going to melt at all the affection, her heart hammering so loudly against her chest that she was sure Ava could hear it at this point.
“That's just how fate is, I guess,“ Ava tilted her head to the side and sighed, laying a bit more casually on top of Lizzie, sliding her hands up her sides so that she could trace pictures against her waist. ”That's how it always was going to be anyway. I can't get out of the navy any more than you would ever get out of being a pirate.“
”I can leave,“ Lizzie tried to insist, knowing that her argument was weak, and untrue at best.
”Would you?“
”No,“ Lizzie sunk her head deeper into the pillow, slipping her hand underneath Ava's shirt as well, trailing her fingers up and down the bare, unblemished skin of her back. Ava's skin was perfect, soft, and unbroken. She had some scars, sure, but nothing like the battle wounds that Lizzie had sustained over the years. “But neither would you.”
“No,” Ava agreed, “I wouldn't.“
There was silence for a moment.
”That's okay,” Ava sighed and the warm breath on Lizzie's neck caused her to shiver, “That's okay, we're here now and that's what matters.”
“Right...” There was something far away in her tone, something soft, almost regretful.
“We're here together now and that's all that matters,” Ava tightened her embrace, ”Tomorrow we might not be, or the next day, or the next, but today we are, and we're okay.“
”We're okay,“ Lizzie agreed, but she didn't sound convinced.
”It'll be okay, we'll get through this,“ Ava leaned back just a little bit so that she could kiss Lizzie on the lips again, ”We can run away when tensions die down and we can have a nice little cottage in the middle of nowhere. And we can be safe there, and we can have a family, some cats, some kids. I'll make you so much food that you won't even know what to do with yourself and no one will ever bother us again for being a pirate or being navy.“
Lizzie smiled softly as she looked up at Ava.
”That sounds nice, I'd like that,“ Lizzie admitted, pulling her hand away so that she could reach up and cup her palm against Ava's chin. She ran her thumb over her cheekbone, and Ava smiled, green eyes alight with something dangerous.
”It'll happen, I promise,“ Ava insisted, placing her hand over Lizzie's, holding it there against her cheek. ”I have connections, I could probably get us someplace nice to live where no one would ever find us again.“
”I know,“ Lizzie nodded and sucked in a deep breath, ”But you know we can't do that yet.“
”My dad would come after us both,“ Ava nodded sadly and averted her eyes.
”And I can't just give up the pirate life like that, just as much as you couldn't give up the navy life either,” Lizzie started to sit up at that, still holding her hand on Ava's face, still holding her close, still staying together. But Ava had to shift to allow Lizzie to sit up, sliding down from her stomach so that she could rest just below her hips.
“I know,” Ava frowned, and Lizzie hated seeing that expression on her face.
“Hey,” Lizzie leaned closer and kissed her softly, “One day.”
Ava kissed her back, “One day,” She promised, and there was just the smallest hint of a smile spreading across her cheeks. Lizzie coiled her arms around Ava's shoulder and pulled her into a tight embrace, tucking Ava's head into her shoulder where she could keep her safe and sound.
Ava wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged her even tighter. They separated after a few moments of sitting there in silence, only the sounds of their heartbeats and gentle breathing filling the room of the dingy, cheap inn that they managed to snag.
Lizzie pulled away first and as Ava looked down at their laps, she heard the sound of Lizzie's pocket watch creaking open, and then snapping shut a few moments later.
“It's getting late,” Lizzie muttered, leaning her head against Ava's shoulder, “We should get going back home. I have a ship to get back to, and you have your dad.”
Ava made a noise from the back of her throat and only held on tighter to Lizzie. “Right...”
Ava made no move to let go, and Lizzie didn't have the heart to make the first move either.
“Someone is going to start to get suspicious if we stay out too long,” Lizzie tried to reason, unsure if she was trying to convince Ava or herself. She frowned and swallowed thickly, feeling Ava begin to play with the fabric of her shirt.
“Right...“
”We'll see each other in the morning tomorrow, I'll come find you before me and my crew set off, I promise, we can meet back here at sunrise,“ Lizzie ran her hand up and down Ava's back comfortingly.
Ava said nothing for a while. She was still, aside from her fingers lightly tugging at the back hem of Lizzie's shirt.
”Why don't we just stay here? Why don't we just sacrifice tomorrow and stay just a little longer,“ Ava begged, tightening her grip on the back of Lizzie's shirt. ”No one will notice.“
”I think someone will,“ Lizzie disagreed, but she continued to hold Ava.
”Just for tonight... And we can leave early in the morning. Let's just stay here for tonight, I don't want to leave.”
“You're playing with fire,” Lizzie muttered, leaning her chin on Ava's shoulder and squeezing her eyes shut, breathing in Ava's scent.
“So are you,” Ava's shoulders relaxed a little bit, “You know the risks.”
“I do.“
”So we'll stay here?“
”... Okay.”
Lizzie laid back down with her head against the pillow, pulling Ava with her so that the other woman could rest on top of her. Ava sighed and deflated on top of her, tucking her head comfortably in the crook of Lizzie's neck.
Lizzie relaxed as well, sinking into the mattress and relishing in the feeling of Ava's weight on top of her like a warm heavy blanket.
Tangled together, they lay in silence, not sleeping just yet, but relishing in the other's presence and knowing that it would be a long time until they got to see each other again after tomorrow. But knowing that they would always find each other, no matter how long they spent apart.
Tomorrow, they would have to say goodbye, but tonight, they got to lay together in peace.