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It wasn’t like Kenny wasn’t used to bad days. Days in which it would hurt to walk, in which simply standing made him want to cry, in which even getting out of bed was more of an effort than what he wanted to make. He had them often, even more lately.
That, however, didn’t make them any easier.
He rolled on his bed, praying the pain would pass after a couple minutes awake, and finding out it wouldn’t. Disappointing, yes, but not surprising. He instead tried to find a comfortable position that didn’t force him to acknowledge the ache all over his whole body, eventually happy enough with the results. He had school that day, but who cared, it wasn’t like he could’ve reached the front door anyways.
Karen, his little sister, popped her head into his room. She was wearing his old orange parka, its hood down so her long brown hair was visible, and her hazel eyes were bright as usual even though it was early morning.
“Morning Kenny!” She said with a smile.
He slightly sat up and waved at her, causing a new wave of pain to travel all through his arm and back, and a groan escaped his lips. Karen seemed to notice this, for she walked up to him and sat down on the floor next to his bed.
“Not a good day, mhm?” She asked.
“Not at all nope” Kenny answered with a chuckle he didn’t quite mean “Can you ask the Tuckers to pick you up? Or just, take the bus or something, I don’t know”
Fuck, he was starting to get a headache too. That day was only improving.
“Sure, uhm” Karen hesitated “Do you want me to bring you breakfast or anything?”
Kenny had to smile at this, his sister was 12 and old enough to help out, she wasn’t the little girl he had to protect as Mysterion anymore. He was upset he couldn’t have sheltered her from the stuff that went down in their family for longer, but he was glad she was growing up so well.
“Nah, I’m not hungry. You take my waffles, my princess”
He ruffled her hair (ignoring yet another wave of pain, this one accompanied by nausea - seriously his body needed to stop getting worse every moment he was awake), and she giggled as she tried to push his arm away.
“Excuse you, you’re the princess! I’m the queen” She complained between laughs.
“Sure you are, now go to school or you’ll be late”
Kenny smiled as Karen nodded and walked out of his room. He heard her talk on their phone, probably with the Tuckers so they’d take her to school, and not long after this he heard her “goodbye” as she opened and closed the front door.
Kenny was now home alone.
* * *
The rest of the morning passed in a blur. He tried to sleep, but he couldn’t really manage to do it for more than a couple minutes straight - and when he did, he woke up at the smallest noise. Nobody went into the house for the whole morning, his parents probably already getting drunk or cheating on each other (he knew for a fact it really didn’t matter it was daytime), and Kevin at work repairing broken cars, maybe even the one that’d killed Kenny last night - it looked pretty fucked up in the few seconds he’d managed to stay conscious since the accident. At some point of the morning, feeling restless, Kenny walked up to his chair to put on one of his favorite hoodies (when had he last washed it? actually, who cares), soon regretting it when the pain he was in increased even more because of the effort.
Fucking hell, he couldn’t even get dressed without wanting to scream in pain. The fuck was that about.
Curled up on his bed and holding back tears, he finally managed to sleep again. Until he got woken up by his window opening, and familiar footsteps made their way into the room.
* * *
It wasn’t… rare, per se, that Kenny skipped school. Between work and his oversleeping streak, the strange thing was that he had a perfect attendance record for a week straight. Yet, well, Butters was a bit worried. He’d tried calling Kenny a few times, getting no answer, and when he asked their friends (“hey, you guys know what Ken’s up to?”) they simply shrugged.
He’d probably just overslept.
Either way, Butters found himself walking to Kenny’s house the moment school was over with, not really finding it rude to invite himself since Kenny had already suggested he slept at his house that day. Butters had been staying the night at his friends’ for three years now, and he was glad none of them had kicked him out just yet, instead getting more offerings every day. It sure was nice to have friends like his.
His train of thought was broken as he approached the McCormick household, climbing the one tree in their backyard that led directly to Kenny’s room. He’d gone through that route countless times already, he knew where he should place his hands and feet to avoid falling, as he knew how to identify which branches were awful support - trial and error, if you were wondering. He saw Kenny lying on his bed, seemingly asleep, so he didn’t knock on the window as usual, instead directly opening it and walking inside. However, the sound of his footsteps seemed to awake Kenny, as Butters saw him drowsily open his eyes.
“Well good morning Ken! You sure’ve slept a lot today” Butters cheerfully exclaimed, smiling at Kenny.
The latter didn’t respond, but instead rubbed his eyes, groaning with pain all over his expression.
That was when Butters noticed how bad he looked.
Kenny’s eyes were red, and his cheeks had old trails of tears on them. He was wearing one of Butters’ old hoodies - a cyan one - which was the dirtiest Butters had ever seen it. He looked as if he hadn’t had a good sleep in ages, yet also as if he hadn't left his bed in longer than what was healthy. His lips were pale, to the point it seemed like he’d pass out any time now. Butters had the urge to check for injuries or, he didn’t know, something , so he could know what was wrong with his best friend. He hated seeing him like that.
“...you look awful”
“No bullshit” Kenny rolled his eyes, an amused smile (forced, Butters knew) on his lips.
“No, like, you look real bad Ken. What’s wrong?” Butters asked, worried. Kenny simply looked away.
“Nothing much, I’m just kinda tired. Had a rough night” Kenny smiled to himself in the last part, as if he’d just said something really funny.
“You, uhm, you sure? You’re never… I don’t know, lookin’ as sick as now” Sure, Kenny always looked like he had one foot in the grave, but never like this .
“Ye-” Kenny tried to sit up, but inhaled sharply, and instead went and got as comfortable as he could in the position he’d ended when he abruptly stopped. Butters noticed, and Kenny noticed Butters noticed, but he still acted as if nothing had happened “Yeah, feeling fucking sweet”
“Well ok then, imma go get something to eat, be right back” Butters started walking out and towards the McCormick kitchen (he’d give them back the food he took, he knew they were fine with him eating their food as long as he returned it soon after), but stopped when Kenny’s stomach growled.
“Did you even eat anythin’ today?” He asked, hints of both amusement and concern could be heard in his voice.
“Nah, wasn’t hungry” Kenny shrugged it off, his stomach growling yet again. “...but I am now. Mind bringing me something?” He added with a chuckle.
“Well sure Ken!”
With this, Butters headed for the kitchen humming a little tune, leaving Kenny alone in his room.
* * *
Just as Butters was returning to Kenny’s bedroom, a box of poptarts in his hands as he nibbled on one himself, he heard some quiet sobbing coming from it. He quickly left the box on the floor, forgetting his hunger, and entered the room, only to find Kenny curled up trembling on his mattress. Butters ran to him, mostly by instinct, and sat next to him, afraid of touching him without permission.
“Hey, Ken, what happened bud?” He asked in a calm yet concerned tone.
“It hurts…” Kenny answered brokenly, Butters had to make an effort to hear this as his face was hidden which muffled it, but years of practice with Kenny only speaking in his hood made it easier.
“What hurts?” Butters continued questioning him, but this only caused Kenny to sob even harder. “Hey- hey, you don’t gotta cry, it’ll be fine Ken”
“No, no it won’t!” Kenny cried out. “It’s never fine, it never gets better, this is just gonna keep happening to me forever!” As he said this, his position became slightly more open, his tears-soaked face now visible to the other boy.
“Well I- uh- I’m sure you won’t be in pain forever! ‘Cause that’d be a quite miserable existence, don'tcha think?” Butters tried, not understanding what Kenny meant. Sure, he was struggling, but it wouldn’t be eternal…right?
“It is fucking miserable, it fucking sucks, and it’s gonna be this way forever” Kenny said matter-of-factly and gave Butters a sardonic smile, tears still falling. “My whole body hurts all the time, I can’t even get out of bed some days, but I have to face it with a smile because that’s just what I do! Why would I complain if nobody’s gonna get it? Nobody would fucking care!” He chuckled, his laugh so fake and sad it broke Butters’ heart, until his laugh yet again dissolved into sobs, all his strength seemingly leaving his body at once. “I’m so tired man”
“...I don’t get it, but I can try” Butters said after a pause. “I don’t- I don’t know what you’re goin’ through, but I still wanna help. ‘Cause you’re my best friend, and you don’t deserve to feel this way” He brushed his hand against Kenny’s, silently offering contact but letting Kenny choose whether to accept it or not.
Kenny just shivered, soft sobs coming out of his lips, his hand weakly grabbing Butters’. They stayed this way for a few minutes, a comfortable silence between them.
“It’s really not fair” Kenny whispered, breaking the silence. “Fuck, I’m not even meant to cry”
Kenny let go of Butters' hand then, instead using it to vigorously dry his tears, ignoring the pain this caused.
“Yes you are!” Butters told him with an offended tone in his voice, grabbing his wrists as he did in order for him to stop getting hurt. Kenny simply stared at him with doe eyes, not fighting his grip even though it was rather soft. “You’ve seen me cry like a million times, and I ain’t ashamed of that! You’re havin’ a bad time, and you shouldn’t bottle it all up, ‘cause that’ll just make you feel worse”
Kenny nodded after this, a new wave of tears leaving his eyes. He leaned towards Butters, resting his head against his shoulder, the other boy’s arms wrapping around his body. He gently caressed his trembling frame, not caring about his clothes getting soaked by tears. After a short wait, Kenny seemed to finally calm down, a small “thanks” leaving his lips, already quiet by itself but even more since he whispered it against Butters' T-shirt.
“Is there any way I can help?” Butters offered, wanting to do anything he could for his best friend.
“Can we sleep?” Kenny requested, nuzzling against his neck.
“Don'tcha wanna eat anythin’ first?” Butters laughed.
“No way, too tired for that shit” Kenny stated, lying on his bed and dragging Butters down with him. “We’ll just eat later or whatever” He curled up between Butters’ arms, his head against his chest and his arms grabbing his shirt, not in a sexual way but rather like a kid would do.
“Alright then” Butters pulled the covers over them, hugging Kenny tight.
He really hoped Kenny felt as safe with him as he did. Soon after, he could hear rhythmic breathing coming from the other boy, assuming he’d fallen asleep.
Butters didn’t know this just yet, but that was the first time he’d had a good sleep in quite a while.