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Cloud sits in the corner of the cafeteria, trying his best to be as invisible as possible. He’s tired, cranky, and wants nothing more than a proper shower and then collapse to sleep.
He’s lucky the cafeteria is still open so late in the evening—his evening patrol ended at ten in the evening, and he’s starving.
Cloud yawns and focuses on his filled sandwich for a while. It’s not that bad, really. A bit dry maybe. Shinra takes pride in the quality of their food, so all of the sandwiches and other offered foods are made in the HQ’s own kitchen, from the best possible ingredients.
The company also pays his lunch, and considering how little he earns as a trooper, he’s grateful he doesn’t have to think about that on top of everything else.
Cloud lowers the sandwich back on the plate and checks his phone for messages. There’s a new one from his mother, asking if he’s coming to visit soon. Cloud pulls up his calendar and checks his schedule. He’s swamped with work for the next two weeks, but then he’ll have a vacation for a week—that would be a good opportunity to visit Nibelheim. He’s not excited about the traveling part, but he’s gotten better with his motion sickness, so it’s not so bad. It just takes time to first take a train to Junon, then board a ship, and then another train to Costa del Sol. He will spend two days of his vacation traveling alone.
But it is what it is. Cloud chose to move to Midgar to chase his dreams, and he’s not going to give up. Even if he’s deemed good enough to be a trooper and nothing else. It’s not too bad, but it’s not what Cloud really wanted, not by a long shot.
Cloud lifts his eyes when he hears loud yelling from the stairs, and he knows, even before seeing, who the loudest is. Sure enough, it takes only a moment for Zack to appear, his black hair tousled, his SOLDIER uniform dusty and torn, but he doesn’t seem to mind it. He’s chatting and laughing loudly with other SOLDIERS—Cloud recognizes Roche and Kunsel, but not the others.
He’s still watching when Zack sees him, and sure enough, grins widely. He says something to the others, quickly finishes his purchase at the counter, and then walks straight to Cloud’s table.
“You look exhausted,” Zack greets cheerfully before setting the Buster Sword aside and flopping down into a chair.
“You look like you rolled in the mud,” Cloud counters, squinting.
Zack looks at his uniform. “This? Oh, don’t worry about that. Just a few fiends gave me an attitude, I took care of it.”
“How? By wrestling with them?”
Zack laughs airily. “Maybe one of them managed to trip me. But it’s okay! I didn’t get a scratch, only my clothes suffered.”
“I can’t understand how you are first class,” Cloud mutters, but he’s smiling.
Zack sticks his tongue at him, but he’s laughing too.
They’ve been friends ever since Cloud came to Midgar at age fourteen, so ten years ago. Zack did everything he could to get Cloud into the SOLDIER unit, but no amount of tests and physical training had been enough—Cloud’s body and psyche just weren’t up to par for that. Not for now, anyway, and Cloud hated it. Zack had already been a SOLDIER when they’d met, and Cloud had worked his ass off to reach his friend.
And he’s still stuck in the infantry and most likely won’t ever rise higher than a captain, if even there.
“Was the patrol boring?” Zack asks as he starts to wolf down his huge bagel.
“Not exactly boring,” Cloud says and takes his sandwich again. “Just… exhausting.” Cloud isn’t very social, but as a trooper, he has to be around people constantly, converse with the citizens, answer questions or issue orders if he sees something happening that needs intervening. It all requires extra energy, so even a regular patrol is a lot to him.
“Just take care of yourself, okay?” Zack says and grins again.
Cloud returns the smile, albeit his is a bit more strained. He watches as Zack eats and gulps down water, lowering his gaze quickly so that Zack won’t see it.
It’s not easy, to be with his best friend like this sometimes. Cloud doesn’t have a lot of friends in Midgar—Tifa works below the plate, so they don’t see each other often, they simply don’t have the time.
So he spends a lot of his free time with Zack, because they both live in the Shinra-issued apartments near the HQ. Cloud’s building is, of course, less fancy than Zack’s, who gets to enjoy all the possible luxuries a First Class SOLDIER can.
It’s probably partly thanks to the admiration Cloud has held for his friend since arriving in Midgar, but Cloud’s feelings for his friend had evolved past friendship a long time ago. And like the coward he is, he hasn’t done a thing to move things forward.
How could he? Zack has been very vocal about Aerith, his friend, and Cloud is almost certain they’re dating. It would be way too embarrassing to confess and then get rejected. Not only that, but it would ruin their friendship, and Cloud isn’t willing to risk that.
“By the way,” Zack says, “I have a small gig I gotta do, and apparently I can’t go there alone—I need to take at least a trooper with me. I checked your schedule and if you want to, you could join me, I’ve already hashed things out with the higher-ups.”
Cloud’s eyes snap back up. “What? When? Where—why do you want me there?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow, it’s just a short trip to Kalm,” Zack says. “Taking care of fiends, checking the mako piping, stuff like that. But for some reason Lazard doesn’t want me to go alone.” He drinks more water and adds, “You’re my best friend so of course I thought to ask you. You haven’t been able to get out of Midgar for a while, right?”
That… is true, Cloud can’t deny that. He also can’t completely ignore the fact that he’d be completely alone with Zack for more than a day, and they’d probably share the inn room as well.
It’s unfortunate, because Cloud is painfully used to waking up with a boner after seeing not-that-innocent dreams, featuring the handsome SOLDIER sitting across from him right at that moment.
Cloud clears his throat. “If you really want me to tag along, sure.”
“Yay! You only need to pack for two days, we’re traveling in a company car,” Zack says. “So tomorrow morning at nine in front of the garage?”
“Sounds good,” Cloud nods. His stomach is already churning because of nerves.
***
The morning is cool and stinks like mako.
It’s not surprising—this close to the Shinra HQ, the smell of mako is very prominent, even more so closer to the reactors. Cloud sees them rising up in the distance, but there are smaller vents all around him, pushing energy into the huge building and everything around him.
He’s very aware that the way Shinra is using mako isn’t sustainable and will only lead to trouble later. He’s learned a lot about it from Barret, one of Tifa’s friends, who is very interested in planetology and how Gaia—and the lifestream—works.
Cloud hasn’t delved too deeply into it, because it’s a bit too big for him to think about. He knows that one’s soul returns to the lifestream after death, but thinking about what else it could involve makes his head spin. There are a lot of people who have dedicated their lives to understanding the workings of the lifestream and mako, but humans probably can’t ever fully grasp its meaning.
It’s not exactly nine yet, so Cloud shifts from one foot to another as he waits for Zack to arrive. His breath comes out in puffs and he’s glad he had enough sense to dress warmly. It would probably feel even colder in Kalm—there might even be snow, for all he knew. Midgar has too much machinery for the snow to stay, and the slums under the plate don’t get much either—most of the snow falls on the edges of the city, making it more difficult to move in and out of the slums.
As usual, Zack is ten minutes late. “Sorry, sorry,” he says as Cloud squints at him. “I keep trying, but time keeps getting faster.”
“Uh-huh,” Cloud says with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not giving a very good example as a First Class SOLDIER.”
Zack grabs his heart in mock grief. “Your words wound me, Strife.”
Cloud rolls his eyes. “Let’s just get going.”
They enter the garage and Zack searches for the car he got authorized to use for the duration of the trip. It’s a very basic Shinra truck—enough space for transporting something back to Midgar if they need to. They dump their backpack in the backseats before settling in.
Cloud starts to feel queasy the second Zack drives the car out of the garage and he leans back.
“Take this,” Zack says.
Cloud turns to look and notices a small bag of candy on Zack’s palm. “Ginger drops?” he says and takes it. “You got me ginger drops?”
“You still haven’t gotten over your motion sickness, have you?” Zack says pointedly. “So take them, they’ll help.”
Cloud doesn’t really like ginger, but he opens the bag and plops a drop into his mouth. Ginger is one of the only things that make his traveling more bearable, so he can endure the taste for a while.
Zack turns on the radio and they listen to the tacky old dance music as he drives the car out to the highway and towards the entrance to the city. There are four different routes out of Midgar’s upper plate, all of them manned by Shinra troops.
Today, Zack uses the South Exit, easily getting them through by flashing his ID and proving him as a First Class SOLDIER.
Then they’re out of Midgar and in the plains beyond.
Cloud glances out of the window. He knew that before, but seeing how barren the area around the city is makes him feel uneasy.
“They’re sucking the planet dry,” he finds himself muttering, then snaps his mouth shut in horror. Zack might be his best friend, but he’s also Shinra’s elite soldier, and he’s required to protect it. Cloud speaking ill of Shinra like that technically demands Zack to take action.
To Cloud’s amazement, though, Zack agrees with him.
“I know,” Zack says quietly. “But we can’t just say anything about it. Something has to change, but Shinra is a big company. They’re quick to silence those that speak against them.”
Cloud knows that. He also knows that they’re both just allowing it to happen by working for the company in the first place. But if they can do something from the inside, that would be good too, wouldn’t it? At least, that’s how Cloud feels like.
Not that he can do much as a mere trooper, but at least he can be a source of information to Barret if nothing else.
The rest of the drive to Kalm is rather quiet. Despite the ginger, Cloud is still nauseous, but it isn’t entirely related to his motion sickness.
Just being alone with Zack is starting to be more than he can handle. Cloud has never been good with emotions, much less with crushes, and this stupid crush on Zack has been going on for too long already.
Still, Cloud decides not to do anything. It’s not like he has any other choice.
***
As they arrive in Kalm, they take their backpacks to the inn and then get to work.
And they actually do work. Cloud had been thinking if this was just Zack’s elaborate attempt to get them out of Midgar, but they actually worked up a sweat, fighting against fiends and then checking the mako piping around Kalm.
Cloud isn’t a bad fighter, thankfully. He’s one of the very few troopers who uses a sword as a weapon instead of a rifle—getting trained by Zack for years hasn’t gone to waste.
Fighting alongside Zack, though, is something Cloud loves. They almost read each other’s thoughts as they move, support each other’s attacks and constantly save each other. Zack is one of the best SOLDIERs there is, but he tends to be reckless, so Cloud often jumps in to save him.
After hours of fighting and trekking around Kalm, they return to the town and instantly make their way to the showers.
Cloud dries his blond hair, wonders briefly if he should get it trimmed when they get back to Midgar, and changes into more casual clothes. They’ll be off duty for the rest of the day, and continue tomorrow—there’s a part of the piping they didn’t make it today.
He is sitting on his bed and writing a text message to Tifa when Zack comes back, also dressed differently—now he’s wearing a dark blue sweater and jeans, nothing to indicate his high status in Shinra. His hair falls on his shoulders and looks still a bit damp.
“We should probably go eat something,” Cloud says, finishes the message and then sends it. “I’m hungry.”
“In a moment,” Zack says. Only then does Cloud realize there is something weird going on with Zack—his friend is looking at him differently from before.
“What?” Cloud says and grimaces right after when his voice shakes.
“It’s nothing, I’m just wondering how to approach it,” Zack says. Then he grins. “Maybe it’s better to just ask it. Who’s the lucky gal?”
Cloud is instantly red up to his hairline. “What?” he repeats weakly.
“I know you have a crush on someone, it’s obvious on your face,” Zack says. “You haven’t told me any details, and as your best friend, I just thought you’d tell me—”
“No—it’s not—” Cloud swallows and moves his eyes away. “It’s not that simple. And it’s not a gal.” Part of why this entire thing is so impossible is the fact that he went and fell in love with another guy. He knows most people don’t care about it, but smaller towns—exactly like Nibelheim—would have looked at him with scorn.
Not that he chose to fall in love with Zack. It just happened. And despite everything, Cloud wouldn’t change a thing.
“Oh, it’s another guy?” Zack says.
Cloud doesn’t say anything, but the bed dips as Zack sits down.
“Have you made a move on him yet?” Zack asks, his hand now on Cloud’s knee. It feels warm and Cloud has to fight against a shiver.
“No,” Cloud says simply. “And I probably won’t. I don’t—know how. I don’t even know how to—” He blushes even worse now, and decides to stop talking again.
“You don’t how to kiss?” Zack says teasingly. “You haven’t dated yet, have you?”
“Been too busy,” Cloud mutters. He’s very aware that Zack has gotten closer, looking at him with his glowing eyes—a mixture of blue and mako, evidence of his status as a SOLDIER.
“You need to practice,” Zack continues, and Cloud makes a funny squeak.
“Zack—” he says, but he knows his damn face, his entire body, betrays his feelings, especially with Zack being so close.
But Zack doesn’t seem to mind it. If anything, his gaze is even more intense now.
“I could teach you,” he murmurs. “Give you proper kissing practice.”
“Oh,” Cloud says breathily. They’re really close now. How is Zack so confident? It’s as if he’s fully aware of what Cloud feels for him, but if he is, then why is he offering—
“You’re pretty oblivious in some things, pal,” Zack says, a smile tugging his lips. Somehow he has managed to get between Cloud’s legs and work his way up, and they’re now looking at each other with only centimeters to spare.
“I have—no idea what you’re talking about,” Cloud says, but he does see that Zack isn’t fully unaffected by this either. There’s a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and his eyes are burning.
“Do you want to learn to kiss, Cloud?” Zack asks. “Because I can teach you, if you want.”
It’s a loaded question. Cloud knows it. Zack is trying to figure him out, but how much does he know? How much has he guessed already?
Then Cloud decides he’s too tired to care.
“Yeah,” he croaked. “Please teach me, Zack.”
Zack’s grin is blinding and he closes the distance between their lips.
Cloud doesn’t have any experience with kissing or dating in general, even though he has seen movies. So he really doesn’t know what to do with his mouth, but as Zack’s lips start to move, Cloud finds himself just mirroring the movement.
He can’t even properly describe how it feels like. It’s very different from his fantasies. Now he’s actually there, Zack’s body hot against his own, and they’re actively kissing.
Zack’s tongue touches Cloud’s lips and the second he parts them even a bit, Zack is tasting him from the inside and he makes a choked noise. His entire body is on fire and at some point he has grabbed the front of Zack’s shirt.
Cloud doesn’t want to stop. Zack initiated it, and he doesn’t seem like he’s stopping either, so the kiss only gets deeper, more hungry, until they’re making out on the bed, kisses turning more sloppy and breathy.
“Zack—” Cloud says hoarsely. “What—”
“I don’t want to just teach you,” Zack whispers and pulls back a bit. His face is flushed and eyes glazed, but he looks at Cloud with such obvious affection even he can’t miss it. But then—
“You knew?” Cloud says shrilly. “You knew and didn’t—”
“I suspected,” Zack corrects him. “There’s a difference. But I know you well, Cloud. My gut told me I was right. How long?”
Cloud is still holding on to Zack’s shirt, and he doesn’t feel like letting go. “Since the… start,” he mumbles. “At first it was… just… admiration… but then got deeper…”
Zack looks happy. He looks stupidly happy, his entire being is radiating because of it. “Pretty much the same as me, then,” he says.
Cloud’s eyes go wide, but then he’s being kissed again and he forgets everything else.
They’re kissing like long-lost lovers, there’s desperation in their movements, as if they’re trying to make up for the lost time.
But—they haven’t really lost any time, have they? They’ve been friends all this time. They’ve done so much together already. It won’t change much how they are now. It will just include more kissing and cuddling. So Cloud hopes, anyway.
They kiss themselves to exhaustion and then fall asleep in each other’s arms.
***
They spend the next day working and fighting against fiends, just like always.
Once they’re done with everything, they pack their backpacks and return to Midgar together.
But this time, things will be different.