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Buck's life fell apart on a Friday.
Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic. But at the time it's exactly how he felt. One minute he was eating dinner with his boyfriend, trying to make small talk about life & find some more common interests other than fire. Then, suddenly, he was in his kitchen with a death grip on the sink listening to his best friend sob through the phone.
“They want to take Chris back to Texas.” He remembers listening to Eddie tell him what had transpired in his last conversation with the Diaz parents less than an hour previously. “They said I can't– I'm not enough for him. I can't do this alone with everything so they're…” he trailed off, a hiccuping sob crackling through the speaker. “They'll be here next week & they're petitioning to take him back home…with them.”
Buck had stood in shock for a moment, still white knuckling the sink as he whispered. “They can't do that.”
“They're saying I'm mentally incapable of caring for a child. That I can't handle Chris’s needs & take care of myself.”
“But Chris is yours , they can't just say that & take him!” Buck's voice rose to a point where Tommy looked up from his own phone where he was obviously trying not to eavesdrop but failing.
It's a few tense moments of silence before Eddie apologizes for ruining Buck's night & they hang up. The tension in the loft is thick & Buck feels like he can't catch his breath, his fingers claw at the sink & he feels like he's trying & failing to get a grip on anything. He knows the beginnings of a panic attack & he's concerned he's about to go down. The only thing he can think is that he needs to get to Eddie, get to Christopher.
Tommy is the one who speaks first, breaking down the metaphorical wall between them as he steps up to Buck & drags him away from the sink where he is sure he must have left dents in the metal from where his fingers were digging into it. “What do you want to do?” Tommy's voice is soft, softer than Buck's ever heard it. He thanks something in the universe that his boyfriend is so understanding about things with Eddie & Chris. No one else has really accepted Buck's life & large family for what it is. It's nice to have the support in moments like this.
“I dont– I don't know.” He knows that he sounds a bit hysterical. He doesn't really know what he can even do. He wants to run to Eddie's house & cradle both of the Diaz boys in his arms & protect them from whatever hell is going to rain down on them in less than a week. “I just know I need to be there, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.”
Tommy nods & starts to move around the loft as Buck stands, back against the fridge, trying to get himself under control. He feels like he's standing there for hours, but the clock on the oven tells him it's only been about 10 minutes, when Tommy reappears in the kitchen, a Tupperware & duffle bag in his hands. He all but pushes Buck out the door, “Go take care of them.” Buck attempts a smile he knows is strained & runs to the Jeep, taking the steps down to the parking lot two at a time.
He's halfway to Eddies when he realizes he left Tommy alone on date night in his loft & he doesn't know when he's going back. He cringes internally at this being the third disaster date they've had. All 3 of them interrupted by Eddie somehow, & that makes Buck's stomach twist a bit. He knows it isn't exactly fair but he can't help it. Eddie & Chris are always going to come first, & he thinks Tommy knows that.
The drive is a blur, Buck using just muscle memory to get there. He doesn't think he could really focus if he tried. His mind is full of Christopher & what he could even do to begin to help with the situation. It's a good thing he's driven the route to Eddie's so much he could do it with his eyes closed. Otherwise, he wouldn't be in the headspace to drive safely & the last thing he needs is a 911 call for a pileup he caused because he can't stop shaking long enough to drive 20 minutes.
It's one thing, he thinks, for Eddie's parents to not agree with his choices. It's another for them to petition to take Chris home with them. Buck knows that going to El Paso is bad for Chris & it would absolutely break his best friend. There's nothing & no one that Eddie loves more than his son, he'd do anything for Christopher. Having his parents take that child away would only make Eddie spiral more. That's something Buck is sure of. He's not sure if Eddie could survive losing Christopher, if Eddie would ever be himself again after that.
He also knows that Chris loves LA. He's created a life here. He has a good school, a group of great friends, & the world's biggest extended family Buck thinks a kid could have. He's happy & loved in LA. Buck can't help but think that a move back to El Paso, a place he hasn't called home in years, would be detrimental to him especially with the knowledge his dad would be struggling back home in the city. As broken as Eddie would be without Chris, Buck thinks Chris would struggle just as much, & he knows that isn't fair to either of them.
In the car, alone in the dark without anyone else, Buck promises out loud to take care of Christopher. He did the same thing after the shooting. Talked himself off the ledge & promised that in that moment he'd do anything to keep Christopher afloat. And, he's promising the same thing in the current situation.
He pulls up to the Diaz house in record time & throws the Jeep in park. He launches himself out of the driver's seat & is halfway to the door before he remembers to double back & grab his duffle & his leftovers. When he gets back to the front door it's already been flung open & Eddie stands there surrounded by the glow of the porch light.
His hair is unruly like he's been pulling at it & his eyes are rimmed red, tear tracks still wet down his face. Buck gives a sad smile as he bounds up to the door & pulls the other man into a hug. Eddie's arms wind around him & hold tight as he shakes. And Buck… he absolutely falls apart right there on the porch.
Buck feels like his life is slipping away on a Friday. He feels as if all the perfect puzzle pieces are suddenly jagged & no longer fitting together.
It's a couple hours later after Buck has arrived & they've cried themselves hoarse that the two of them sit in Eddie's living room, cups of coffee keeping them awake as they debate how in the world they're going to fight Chris’s grandparents on their petition.
“I talked to Hen earlier,” Eddie is the first one to break the silence. “I haven't been committed, which is point to me I guess.” He shrugs & Buck leans over, placing a hand on his knee in what he hopes is a comforting gesture. “But she did say that because I'm a single dad & I guess they have proof now that I haven't been doing well mentally…the chances of the petition working is–” he breaks off a bit, wiping moisture away from his eyes. “It's apparently pretty likely without a second parent in the picture. Having a support system apparently doesn't matter if they aren't legally bound to you.”
Buck takes a deep breath, his mind working a mile a minute with several ideas. He knows about the will, about Eddie trusting him. And he wonders if that would be an option. He thinks, a little hysterically, that he's not ready to be a dad, but that he'd do anything for Chris & if that meant moving him into the loft for a few months then so be it. The alternative of him going back to Texas for an undetermined amount of time, Eddie being stripped of custody in a quiet courtroom, Christopher being pulled away with tears streaming down his face, no longer able to trust his grandparents…the thought of that nearly brings Buck to his knees. “What if?” He starts & stops, trying to figure out the words he's looking for. “The will already– I mean”
Eddie looks up from his coffee cup, wide eyes & Buck watches the puzzle pieces click into place one by one. “You want to take Chris?’
“No.” Buck shakes his head. “I don't want to take him away, but if we could figure out how to give me at least partial custody or guardianship then maybe we could stop him from going all the way back to Texas? I know it's stupid & a little reckless & I haven't even looked at the law–” he's cut off as Eddie slams into his chest. His arms work on their own, holding Eddie against him as he's mumbling tearful thanks into Buck's button down.
Buck starts to put his life back together on a Saturday. He's hot gluing the shattered glass of his life back into shape, desperately trying to keep his family together.
The laws, as it turns out, are much more complex than Buck thought they'd be. He figured it'd be a visit to Eddie's lawyer, a couple of signatures, & then Buck would be able to fight for Chris to stay in LA. But that's apparently not how it works at all.
Buck sits on Eddie's couch, laptop carefully balanced in his lap, a sandwich sitting on a plate next to him. “It says that to make this work I’d need to actually adopt him.” He rolls his eyes. “Apparently guardianship isn't enough.”
“Is that something you'd want to do?” Eddie settles in the chair across from him, shoving the last bites of his own sandwich into his mouth. “You'd wanna actually be his dad?”
“I'm never gonna replace you, if that's what you're worried about.”
“Never.”
It's the ultimate display of trust & love, Buck thinks. Eddie going over all the details, letting Buck think about becoming a full & legal second dad to Chris. It makes Buck's chest tighten in a weird way that he can't exactly figure out the reason for. “There's not another kid I'd rather be a dad to,” he says quietly, like a confession he isn't supposed to say out loud.
There's several minutes of silence, the clicking of keyboards the only sound in the living room. They're lost in research until Eddie's head snaps up & he meets Buck's eyes. “I think we have to get married.”
“I uh–married. I mean. What?” Buck usually prides himself on his communication skills. He's been working on them a lot since he started going to therapy. But, at this moment, it feels like every skill he's learned has flown out of his head.
“I mean… It's a convenience marriage, I know. We could always get it annulled or file divorce papers at some point when we needed to. Not like that'll matter once the adoption goes through. It's just for Chris, right?”
Buck wants to say something & stop his friends rambling. But he's stuck on the marriage of it all & okay, maybe a little bit on the Eddie of it all too. Buck leans forward, pushing the laptop onto the table in front of him & takes a steadying breath. “I– God, Eddie.” He pushes a hand through his hair. “I'd do anything for Chris.” He's only just come to the idea that he could marry a man one day & be okay with that. It's pushing him a little bit to imagine that with Eddie. The issue with being pushed, he's finding, is that he usually ends up finding out something about himself when he wasn't looking. One crisis at a time is all he can handle right now. So he attempts to push all his confusion down & focus on the task at hand.
He looks back over to Eddie who's giving him this wonky little smile. “Well…Evan Buckley,” the name slips off his tongue far too easily for Buck’s liking at the moment. “Will you marry me & adopt my son?”
Buck can only laugh a little breathlessly as he answers. “Yea, Eds. Of course.”
Buck's life takes a hard left on a Monday. And no, he doesn't think it's actually dramatic to say this time.
On Friday he was on a date at his loft & getting a phone call from a desperate Eddie who needed help to make sure Chris wasn't taken from him. Over the following 48 hours he did nothing but research & plan. Now he's standing on the steps of the local courthouse, dressed in a T-shirt & jeans from his duffle; a manila envelope full of paperwork tucked under his arm.
He turns to his right, shielding his eyes from the sun as he addresses Eddie. “Who'd you call? They said we each needed two, so I called Maddie. She & Chim should be here any minute.”
Eddie hums. “I wasn't really sure who I wanted to know, but…I called Bobby. He & Athena said they'd be here. He didn't ask any questions.”
Buck's heart rate picks up a little at that revelation. Bobby is like a father to him. He already knows he's going to get the third degree from his sister about all of this & the idea of Bobby and Athena being there to see all of this. Well, it's more than a little intimidating. He pushes it down though. Eddie had the right to call whoever he wanted & the witnesses needed to be people who could vouch for them as a couple & for Buck as a parent. He figures the four they called are perfect for it. Even if Buck wanted to keep this as quiet as possible, there's no way the rest of the team wasn't going to find out at some point.
“They said we could do all of it on the same day, right? Eddie shuffles the papers in his matching envelope. Buck's pretty sure it's just a nervous habit. “We need the adoption part to be filed & done by the time my parents get here on Friday.”
Buck's nods. “Yea online said we could do it all. We get the license & then take it down to the second floor. A couple of signatures & boom.”
“Married & a kid all in one. Moving a little fast aren't we, Buckley?”
It's a sad attempt at a joke & they both give a hollow laugh at the way it doesn’t lighten the mood at all.
They're rescued from more awkward silence together as Maddie & Chim pull up into a handicap spot near them. Buck watches his sister dig through her bag & plop Chris’s placard in the rearview before getting out. She doesn't spare a glance towards him or Eddie as she unloads Jee & passes her to Chim. She goes around the side of the van, ushering Christopher out & shoves him toward his dad, who he envelopes easily into a hug.
"Thanks for letting him stay with you, Mads.” Buck knows that her steely glare is directed toward him but he still needs to thank her for all her help. She took Chris in for the weekend without any questions & when Buck had regaled her the night before with the plan for the day she hadn't questioned it, just said that she would bring the kids & Chim to the court house in the morning.
“This is insane, Evan. Like actually insane.” She levels him with the older sister stare that she's perfected over the years. “I didn't want to say anything over the phone last night, but–” she glances over to her husband who's standing with Eddie & Chris, all 3 deep in their own conversation of some sort. “Are you absolutely sure about this?”
“We're only doing it so I can adopt Chris. We can get it annulled or file for divorce. It's not that big of a deal.”
“Not that big of a–? Evan!” Maddie looks at him, obviously trying to figure out what she had missed & why she was agreeing to witness her brother's wedding despite him not being engaged or even in a romantic relationship with his partner. But, what comes out of her mouth makes Buck stop dead in his tracks. “Have you talked to Tommy about this?”
“Shit”
“Evan?”
“I– I forgot?” Buck puts his head in his hands & groans. Of all the things he was meticulous about with this situation, he had forgotten to talk to his actual romantic partner.
Maddie sighs. “You're literally marrying Eddie & adopting his kid. Even if Tommy knows you aren't in a real marriage that's a lot to deal with. At the end of the day the marriage may be reversible, but the adoption isn't. You're going to be Chris’s second dad & that responsibility never goes away.”
“I don't want it to go away. I love that kid.” Buck suddenly feels like he needs to defend every decision he's ever made regarding the Diaz boys. “I'm happy being tethered to him for the rest of my life.”
Maddie smiles softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I know,” & Buck really does think she means it. “But that makes you a dad & possibly a divorced dad at some point. That's going to look some sort of way to any future partner. Even if you aren't going to change your mind, you should probably let Tommy know this is happening.”
Buck excuses himself from her & watches as she makes her way over to the rest of the group, grabbing Jee from Chim’s arms as they all wait for Bobby & Athena to show up. He takes the moment alone to pull out his phone, stabbing in Tommy's number with shaking fingers.
“Evan.” The answer comes after only one ring.
“Hey Tommy.” Buck tries to control his breathing. “I wanted to give you a quick call with something.”
There's a shuffling on the other end of the line. The seriousness in his voice must have been audible because Tommy is suddenly extremely deadpan. “What's going on?”
“I wanted you to hear it from me & i–im really sorry I didn't think to call you before but I uhh–” he paused, just listening to the other man's breathing through the speaker. “Eddie&iaregettingmarriedsoicanadoptchris.”
It all comes out in one long babbling mess. Buck's surprised he even gets it all out when his nerves are so bad he can feel his body shaking.
There's absolute silence on the other end of the line. “Tommy…?”
"I'm still here, yea. I–hold on.” There's some more shuffling & a deep sigh. “You're getting married?”
“Yes.”
“To Eddie?”
Buck sighs. “yes.”
“And you're going to adopt his kid?”
Buck doesn't even hesitate with his answer. “That's the only reason we're doing it actually. I assumed you'd understand that part of it."
“I always thought there was something going on there, but I trusted that you'd be honest. That you'd tell me if there had ever been something, if you wanted there to be something.”
Buck sighs as he plops down on the curb, his thighs feeling the heat of the concrete even through the denim. “I– there isn't anything going on between us. I just…I can't let Chris go to Texas. There isn't really another way to do this.”
“They really are always going to come first, huh?”
Buck sighs again, deep & exasperated. “I can't just let them take him! It'd be bad for Chris. It would break Eddie. I don't know how any of us would survive it.”
“Exactly, Evan.” Tommy's voice is quiet, a hint of sadness seeping into his words. “It's Eddie,” he says slowly. “The choice is always going to be Eddie.”
Buck feels like he'll choke if he tries to answer. So he doesn't. He just sits on the phone, listening to his own breathing reverberate back to him through the tinny speaker.
“Take care of yourself.” Tommy says to break the silence after a few tense moments. “Take care of them too.”
Then there's a beep & silence as Tommy hangs up. Buck slides the phone into his front pocket, puts his head in his hands, & lets out a sob. He shocks himself at the power of it. It wasn't as if he & Tommy were that serious of a relationship, but it still hurts. It hurts to know that maybe he wasn't as supportive as Buck had wanted him to be. He's starting to believe that no one is ever going to fully understand his relationship with Eddie & Christopher in the way he needs them to.
He sees Bobby & Athena pull into the parking lot as he sits on the curb, feeling like his entire life has just shifted & is on the precipice of breaking apart.
He closes his eyes, pressing his palms against his eye sockets & just tries to breathe.
Buck never really imagined his wedding. Truth be told, he didn't really think he'd get there. He had come to the conclusion that he was just unlucky in love & the chances of actually having someone want to be with him so long term that they'd pick to be with him forever? He didn't think that was an option for him.
So, it was a little wild to his brain that he's standing in a courthouse with his best friend, pen in hand, & signing his name on a marriage license they don't even really want or need.
It isn't a long affair. Eddie signs his name, Buck signs his & the judge rubber stamps it after asking for two witnesses to fill in their portions.
It shouldn't surprise Buck that Maddie refuses, but he does feel a little hurt by it. He knows she isn't supporting the marriage part, but that's okay because Bobby steps up with Athena & they handle it. Bobby claps him on the shoulder with a sad smile as he handles the bottom of the paper with Athena. It's about 3 minutes later & they're in the elevator going down 2 levels to fill out adoption paperwork with Christopher.
It all feels a little clinical & Buck feels sick about it. Eddie barely looks at him as he passes him a little gold band in the elevator & asks if he filled in the adoption paperwork or if they'll have to wait extra for Buck.
Chris takes his hand as they walk into the office, & much like the marriage portion, the adoption doesn't actually take that long. Chris has to make a statement. He talks about how much he loves Buck & how much he already sees him as a dad. The little kid who sat on top of the fire truck with him in a tsunami is long gone, replaced by a teenager who understands way more than Buck or Eddie really give him credit for.
Maddie actually does support this part of it all. She & Chim make statements about how amazing Buck is with Christopher while Jee smiles & laughs as she points out “Unca Buck & Unca Ebbie.” It adds to the illusion that they're a happy, loving couple who just wants to make sure Chris grows up in a two parent household where the second parent can actually legally have rights.
They all sign the paperwork, they take some copies of the forms from the marital office (no, the ink isn't even completely dry yet so there's a little smudge by Buck's middle name on their final forms), & there's more stamping.
When they get into the elevator again there's a ring on his finger & a glossy adoption certificate they have to take to Chris’s school bright & early on Monday morning.
When Buck pulls the Jeep back into his parking space at the loft, he feels like a completely different person. He left there on Friday not knowing what was going on & has returned married & with a kid.
He trudged up the steps, flopping onto his bed & waiting for the uncomplicated darkness of sleep to take over.
Buck believes he's settling into his life on a Tuesday. He doesn't know how it happens, but their little family is truly starting to feel like it belongs together
Buck is sitting at the table with Christopher, trying to help him with his math homework. He may not be acting like a human calculator anymore, but he isn't terrible at it either. At least not as bad as Eddie is.
Speaking of Eddie… Bucks turns around in his chair trying to catch any sliver of conversation between his husband & in-laws (the words still sit funny in his mouth). They had broken the marriage & adoption news to them on Wednesday. In turn, they canceled their trip after they discovered that even a petition couldn't give them Chris with Buck in the picture & a stable place for the kid to fall back on. However, that didn't mean they weren't upset at the lengths Eddie was willing to go to ensure his parents didn't take Chris back to Texas with them.
“Hey, mijo.” Eddie ruffles Chris’s hair as he walks back into the kitchen, picking up the empty lemonade glass & rinsing it in the sink. He opens the fridge, grabs a beer from the shelf & Buck freezes on spot when he hears the quiet “ ¿Quieres una cerveza, mi amor?”
Buck knows that Eddie defaults to Spanish for only a few reasons:
- He's talking to Chris
- He's upset
- He's been speaking with his parents
Buck isn't exactly fluent in the language, but he's spent enough time around Eddie & back in South America that he knows some words & phrases. He definitely knows enough to expect the blush that creeps up his cheeks as he coughs & confirms that a beer would be great.
“Thanks.” He swallows thickly as the bottle is pressed into his hand. He can't even look up at Eddie because he's afraid that the heat in his face will give away the fact he understood the gist of what the other man had said.
“Dad!” Chris huffs before Buck can say anything embarrassing. “Ingles?” He says it with all the attitude a teenager can muster & Buck has to stifle a laugh as he watches Eddie flush red & mumble a half hearted apology.
Later that night they're lounging in the living room, Buck spread out on the couch & Eddie crouched on the floor with an Xbox controller in his hands. He pauses the game suddenly & clears his throat until Buck looks up from his book. “I uh– I think we should look at getting you out of your lease.”
“Yea?”
“Yea. You're spending all your time here anyway & Chris…well he…he doesn't like it when you leave.”
Buck smiles at that. “Just Chris, huh?”
Eddie smiles back as he resets his headset & turns the game back on.
The next week, Buck is moving all his belongings into the Diaz house in his Jeep, not looking back toward the loft that always felt a little too empty.
It's all wolf whistles & cat calls when they pull into the station together after Buck moves in.
It's their first shift together after the marriage & the move. They had each decided to take some serious time off with everything going on. Buck had expected that the full team would know about everything by the time they got back, he just didn't expect them to be so…. vocal about it.
It started with a fist bump from a b-shifter who passed by Buck on his way to clock out for the day. Then, Ravi had walked up behind them & koala bear hugged Eddie from behind with tears in his eyes talking about how proud he was of them both. That was followed by some side eye from Hen & kissy faces from Chim over breakfast.
By the time the bell rang for their first call, Buck didn't even care that he had only eaten half of his omelet. He just wanted the distraction.
It's into their fourth call of the day when he's securing his harness for a rescue on a collapsed cliff side that Buck really feels eyes on him. He feels watched & embarrassed. He whips around with every intention of telling off the other member of his team, only to find himself face to face with Eddie.
He watches as the other man ducks his head, acting like he's been caught stealing from the cookie jar.
It's only when Buck follows Eddie's eyes that he sees what he was staring at… the little gold band wrapped securely around Buck's finger; the ring he hadn't taken off since that day in the court house.
Buck’s life explodes on a Sunday. Or at least that’s what it felt like to him at the time.
Buck gently tucked the papers underneath the permission slip for Christopher’s school trip & the take out menu for the new Mexican place down the road they’ve all been dying to try. It had been almost a year & he thought that maybe it was time. Yes, they were living together & things had been going well. But Buck knew it was likely time for the difficult conversation they’d been avoiding. He would have been happy stalling forever because really, he knows now that he’s always been in love with Eddie. It’s always been Eddie & he knows it’ll always BE Eddie.
Eddie, he thinks, is the one who doesn’t want their marriage to stay. In the last nearly year, he’d shown a handful of times that maybe he was starting to look at Buck a little less than platonically. But, nothing had happened in that time, so Buck could only assume that meant Eddie was still on board with the original plan.
It hurt him to do it, but honestly, the sooner the better. Maybe then Buck would be able to get back out there & start dating again. He’d always have Christopher, the adoption wouldn't be taken back… just the marriage. They’d had plenty of time to see if this would work. Although Buck thinks they’re a perfect match, it was obvious to him that Eddie didn’t.
Eddie finds the papers after dinner while he’s going through the pile of mail cluttering the countertop. He must be standing there for a while just staring at the heading, because that’s where Buck finds him after work. He's exhausted, the type of bone tired you only feel after 48 on with a couple hours of sleep & back to back calls. He’s ready to order some take out & fall asleep reading the new book Chris got him for father’s day but he stops when he sees Eddie, misty eyed in the kitchen just staring at the counter top. He starts to maneuver around the kitchen as he goes to reheat the leftovers he knows have to be in the fridge.
“You okay, Eds?”
Eddie whips around completely caught off guard, as if he had lost track of time. His eyes narrow as he blinks away tears, & he throws up the walls around himself almost immediately. “When were you going to tell me?” He holds up the paper & Buck stops puttering around. He locks eyes with Eddie & tries his best to stay aloof as he shrugs.
“It’s been almost a year. Figured it was time. I mean, if either of us are ever going to get out there again, then this is something we need to do. We talked about it at the beginning. I assumed you were waiting for it.”
Eddie shifts he weight & drops the paper back onto the countertop, directly into a puddle of water that’s been left by the condensation dripping off of an untouched beer bottle. Buck watches as the word “divorce” sucks up the water, & sticks to the granite.
“If I wanted this I would have asked.”
“You never ask for anything.”
Eddies runs a hand down his face & takes a step closer to Buck. They’re face to face only inches from each other. Buck can feel every breath the other takes, & he thinks God, I’m not strong enough for this.
“If there was something I wanted but I knew I couldn't have it… why would I ask?” He reaches out, hand cradling Buck’s face. He gently pushes so they’re forced to actually look each other in the eyes. “I didn’t know it I could ask for it.” Eddie’s voice is low & gentle, a softness to it that Buck doesn’t know if he’s ever heard before. It’s a little raspy, syllables breaking as he chokes back what Buck thinks has to be a river of tears.
Buck’s body feels like it moves of its own accord. His feet unstick from the floor & in one fluid motion he's walking them both backwards, further into the kitchen until Eddie is backed into the fridge, trapped between the handle at his hip & the solid force that is Buck himself. “Ask.” The word feels like sandpaper on Buck’s tongue. But, he has to hear Eddie ask for it; has to hear that they’re on the same page here. Because Buck can’t stomach it if he’s wrong; can’t stand the idea that if he fucks this up he’s going to lose Chris, adoption paperwork be damned.
He can feel every ragged breath that Eddie takes. He doesn’t let his eyes move from where they are boring into Eddie in a way that makes the other lean back as if to gain just an iota of personal space. “ Buck.”
“I said ask, Eddie.”
Another minute of silence passes. A car drives by outside, ice cubes drop in the ice maker, the washing machine beeps… Buck & Eddie stand there… staring at each other, waiting for the other to decide to speak again.
“I–” Eddie pauses for a moment. “I don’t know how to ask.”
Buck almost feels like it’s a little rude to steal his ex boyfriend’s move to shut someone up, but if it works it work. Buck uses his free hand not gripping Eddie’s bicep to slide his fingers under Eddie’s chin & tilt his face up. He leans down, just a fraction, stalling for a minute to give Eddie the chance to say no, to back out before they cross that last line.
“Are you going to ki–” Eddie is cut off by Buck’s lips pressing to his, his words being swallowed. It start soft & sweet, Buck’s fingers falling away once Eddie begins to kiss back, sending shockwaves through Buck’s body. Eddie snakes his arm around Buck & up to his neck, keeping them together when Buck tries to pull away for the first time. It develops into something messy, all tongue & teeth; Buck using his weight to keep Eddie against the fridge while his legs slip between thighs, the rub of denim on denim making one of them hiss. Buck's so trapped in the moment he isn't even sure which one of them is making the small absolutely obscene noises that are making him shiver. All he knows is he's sure he never wants this to end. At least here, in the dim light of their shared kitchen, there's no questions to answer & nothing to talk about. Buck can just melt into the feeling & thoughts of Eddie, Eddie, Eddie...
Eventually Eddie pulls away, turning his head as he whispers. “Christopher is only down the hallway.”
“Maybe we should continue this conversation in your bedroom?”
Eddie raises an eyebrow. “You're not as smooth as you think you are. Think you’re losing your game.”
Buck backs up as he starts to pull Eddie down the hallway with a roll of his eyes. “C'mon, we have a marriage we never consummated.”
Eddie gives a full body laugh as he lets himself be guided down toward his bedroom.
Yes, Buck’s life fell apart on a Friday.
But he found a way to put it back together again.