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A cawing sound brought Touko out of her musings. She'd been thinking about Takashi's ripped trousers and dirtied shirt again. It wasn't really about the clothes though, it was about what they stood for. For the far away gazes that tended to accompany them. With Takashi she was always thinking, worrying, hoping. The boy often had her worried half dead, when he came home late again with scrapes and bruises, but she would gladly take all the grey hair those instances cost as long as he was happy and unhurt. She loved her (foster) son the way he was, even if she sometimes wished he'd be more careful with himself and just a bit more selfish. But his presence was worth every heartache he might cause, especially when his smile, his true smile, always managed to chase grey clouds away.
Touko simply wished he would feel comfortable enough with them, trust them enough to open up to her and her husband more. She knew there was something Takashi wasn't telling them, a secret he was seemingly holding close to his heart and she had not the slightest idea what it could be about. They would never pressure the boy into telling them whatever it was that he was keeping from them, of course, but she just wished she could relieve that pain that came from biting one's tongue and lift just a bit of that weight off his shoulders that kept him curling into himself and shying away from loving hands.
It was thoughts like these that kept running through her head as she heard those familiar sounds. When she looked up her eyes almost immediately landed on the black silhouette. The crow was sitting on a low branch over the path she had been following home from her shopping trip. Touko lit up slightly from her gloomier thoughts as she saw it.
"Hello there, Crow-san!", she called out excitedly with a little wave. The crow cawed back as if returning her greeting. She couldn't contain a giggle as she stepped forward towards the black bird.
"Were you waiting for me? I'm afraid, but I don't have any treats for you with me. At home I have some nice rice crackers for you though, if you want." Touko was pretty sure this was the crow that always visited their house. They all looked so similar, but she had a bit of a knack for telling them apart. Not that it really mattered to her if it was "her" crow or just a random bird. She just loved animals and found talking to them soothing and freeing, even if it might make her look strange to others. Her family didn't mind or found it weird. On the contrary, they found it endearing, and if they didn't care, neither did she. She was pretty sure that Takashi was almost as fond of the crows as she was, especially his white crow, that Touko never got to see. It was a fond memory she shared with her son.
Touko was about to continue on her way, slightly curious if the crow would follow her home, when it all of a sudden took flight. But instead of ascending through the leaves into the blue sky, it flapped its wings and descended towards her. Surprised, she took a step back and lifted her arm to shield her face, eyes scrunching shut. Not because of fear, but more out of reflex.
For a second she could feel feathers and wind tickle her skin before a weight landed on her shoulder. She blinked her eyes open and looked at the crow sitting on her shoulder in amazement. It had never done this before. It clacked its beak a few times as if it wanted to say something to her that she couldn't understand, before it gently nuzzled Touko's face. She stood there frozen by the surprising turn of events, slightly dazed by the unusual behavior of the bird. But before she could react in any way to the acts of affection she was all of a sudden receiving from her feathered friend, the bird spread its wings again and proceeded to flap them a few times.
Then, as if it had been called by the crow, a strong gust of wind hit Touko in the face and through squinted eyes, she could have sworn there was something bright circling her. Suddenly the ghost of something soft touched her face, passing over her eyes, forcing her to close them again.
As soon as it had started, the wind subsided again. The first thing Touko noticed as she opened her eyes was that the crow on her left shoulder was gone. While that was more than confusing already, a second look revealed that the sun was already starting to near the horizon, which was downright unsettling. It had been early afternoon just seconds ago. She proceeded to slowly spin in a circle, taking in her surroundings carefully. Another stark contrast to the path she had been walking on before was that the trees next to the road were in full bloom. It was supposed to be summer, so where were all the fresh blossoms coming from?
There were also a lot of subtle changes too, hardly noticeable at first glance. A missing shrub here, a shorter tree there. Touko couldn't even begin to understand what was going on around her, this experience was just too confusing to even try to make sense of.
Strangely, she wasn't freaking out though, as there was something subconsciously soothing her. It might have something to do with the slight pressure on her right shoulder, more the aura of a presence than an actual physical feeling. For some reason, she didn't feel the need to question it, somehow knowing it was benevolent in nature. She had always had a reliable gut feeling.
Something in her mind told her to continue on her way, so she did. She felt that there was something waiting for her. As she cleared the little forest patch the path ran through, her gaze was automatically drawn to the river that was flowing alongside her way from here on out, glistening orange in the light of the setting sun. Takashi liked to sit next to the river bed, Touko knew. She didn't however know if Takashi was aware of that and had ever noticed her, when she caught him gazing blankly into the water or the sky. He was probably too absorbed in his thoughts to ever see her walk past.
The place Takashi normally sat in was not empty, but the person seated there was definitely not him. Without further thinking about it and just trusting her intuition, Touko moved towards the girl sitting on the slope. As she got closer, more and more details registered to her. It was only when she had climbed down the hill and was level with the girl that she finally turned her head towards Touko, acknowledging her presence.
The girl's resemblance to Takashi hit Touko like a punch in the face. She had of course noticed her silvery-white hair before, but now that she was facing her, they looked so similar, the girl in front of her could have been a female version of her son. It was kind of uncanny.
There was that light hair framing a pale face and the intense green cat-like eyes that further added to the otherworldly air surrounding them. But there were also smaller, behavioral details matching both of them, like the ever present smile that, despite looking friendly and inviting, never quite reached those marble eyes of theirs. Or the bruise tarnishing her cheek paired with a slightly messy school uniform, leading to a ruffled almost wild look to it that reminded her so much of her son. The signs of a typical troublemaker, which Touko knew, couldn't be further from the truth for Takashi, a boy who never wanted to inconvenience anyone ever.
But she wasn't sure how true that was for the girl. It's where the differences between the two became apparent. Her aura and the way she held herself, despite showing some similarities, were more confident, more carefree. Sadly, they were things Touko rarely got to see in her son.
The girl just stared up at her, eyeing her up and down, just as Touko had done with her, keeping her thoughts about the woman hidden behind that smiling facade.
"Excuse me, may I sit next to you?" Even though Touko had no idea what was going on here, she felt she couldn't pass up the chance to get to know this strange girl.
She shrugged. "I guess that's okay, if that's what you want." A silence developed between them again after Touko had carefully lowered herself to the ground, taking a seat next to her. Neither of them turned their gaze away from the other though. After a few more moments of silence, Touko decided to try and get a conversation started. It seemed like the only reasonable thing to do to her.
"You remind me of someone I know," she remarked tentatively. "What's your name?"
The girl cocked her head to the side, her gaze gaining a curious sparkle. "Must be a weird person if I remind you of them." Touko wasn't sure if she should take that as an insult towards Takashi or not, but "weird", while being a bit of a rude description, wasn't entirely untrue. Not that there was anything wrong with weird.
"My name's Reiko," she finally answered Touko's question. This name didn't ring any bells, but it also didn't sound completely foreign to her. It pushed at some place deep within her brain, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. Seemed like she had to wait until things added up naturally. It wasn't a pressing concern to her, so she let it slide.
"What a pretty and fitting name," noted Touko good-naturedly. "You can call me Touko." Since Reiko had only offered her her first name, Touko thought it was appropriate to do the same.
"Alright, Touko-san it is. You're not from here, are you?"
There was something about this girl that was pulling her in. Whether it was the mysterious yet charismatic aura or those intense green eyes that, just like Takashi's, seemed to be able to see right through her, but also way beyond her. The girl as well as her boy were both so ethereal, like drops of moonlight that fell to earth. Maybe that was what was drawing people towards them as if they were suns. Both in positive and negative ways.
Touko hummed thoughtfully. "I guess you could say that. How did you know?" She tried to answer as honestly as she could, while also being as vague as possible. Obviously she had lived in this town for many years, but she was also vaguely aware that she wasn't where she was supposed to be. It was her hometown, but it also wasn't… hers? She shook her head. This was an impossible situation, almost dreamlike, no use to search for rhyme and reason here. There was a reason why she was here and she had a feeling that she'd discover it soon.
"Well, for one, I haven't seen you in the area before and I get around quite a lot," answered Reiko, snapping Touko out of her thoughts. Reiko let her gaze drift towards the water, watching fallen petals flow leisurely on its surface, before continuing. "Also, if you were from around here, you probably wouldn't be too eager to talk to me or sit next to me."
Touko looked at her with big eyes. There hadn't been any shift in Reiko's demeanor, yet Touko could still make out the hints of that marble-like look to her eyes that the woman knew all too well from her own son, when he got lost in his head and his memories again.
"And why would you say that, Reiko-chan?" asked Touko carefully. She didn't want to pry, but her curiosity had been piqued. It also made her sad, seeing that look on another child's face.
Reiko turned back towards her, her gaze getting caught on her right shoulder for a second before moving to her eyes. She then smiled, amused.
"I'm a witch. I'm a demon. I'm some kinda fox monster. Take your pick, I don't really care. In short, I'm something weird that the people here can't understand and are therefore afraid or unsettled by me. People don't like what they can't understand. Nothing good ever comes from being near something weird… like me." She muttered the last bit, spoken more towards herself than to Touko as her hand went up to trace over the bruise on her cheek.
Sadly, Touko knew exactly what she meant and as Reiko's cheerful facade came back as fast as it had disappeared, she only saw one more similarity between this girl and her boy. She sighed. Why did people have to be like this, she wondered. Being kind wasn't that hard and if it was, it was still more rewarding than being hateful ever could be. Touko knew she couldn't change the world, but she sure could do something now, right here.
She rummaged through her bag for a moment before pulling out a small jar. Reiko watched her with interest as she unscrewed the lid, a slight herbal smell immediately reaching her nose.
"I don't think you're any of those things and I certainly don't think you're a bad omen or something like that. I am sorry that people have been so hostile and cruel towards you. No one deserves to be treated that way for something out of their control, especially not a child. You're neither a curse nor a burden."
Touko had no idea what Reiko's situation was actually like, but the words just came to her and kept gushing out of her so naturally. She would have had no means to stop them coming, even if she tried to. Which she didn't.
Those words reflected all these things that she kept locked up in her chest. Things she wanted to tell Takashi. They were just a fragment of what she wanted to show her son, what she wanted him to understand. If she could, she would take all the love and warmth that she held in her heart for Takashi and lay them on him softly and strong like a safety blanket or a piece of armor, to keep him safe and protected from all the evils in the world. Just a drop from the sea of pure love she felt for him, for him to see that he was cared about, that he was adored no matter what.
But Takashi wasn't ready for all that yet. Her love had to be restrained to a slow, but steady trickle for now, so as to not overwhelm him and risk him being swept away by a too strong current to somewhere she couldn't reach him.
It also wasn't her son, who was sitting across from her. Instead it was an equally hurt soul, hiding behind a smile. So Touko did what she could do best: she extended a hand. Both with words and actions.
"May I?", she asked and pointed to the bruise on Reiko's face. Her eyes widened a bit in surprise, eyeing her hand and the jar of salve cautiously. Touko waited patiently for Reiko to weigh all the pros and cons in her head. After a few moments of silence she gave a tentative nod. Touko smiled at her.
"Thank you. I'll be very gentle," she promised. Reiko nodded again, this time with a bit more confidence. With that, Touko closed the distance and delicately traced a finger over the scraped cheek. She was met with a slight flinch backwards. Not letting that discourage her, Touko just paused for a moment until Reiko relaxed again. The scrape wasn't that fresh, already having scabbed over, but definitely not too old either as it was still fairly prominent. It was most likely two or three days old.
Touko retracted her hand again to scoop up some of the salve. "This will probably feel a bit cold and burn a little," she warned Reiko before spreading the healing balm over the wound with soft motions.
"All done," she announced finally. After cleaning her hands, Touko closed the jar and held it out for Reiko to take.
"Are you sure?", she asked.
"Of course!", encourage Touko the girl, who still looked unconvinced. "I have more of it at home, since I like to use it on the scratches I get from garden work." With that reassurance, Reiko finally grabbed the small jar.
"Thank you, that is very kind of you, Touko-san." She smiled at the woman and to her it seemed a lot more sincere than all the other ones she saw until now.
"You're welcome. I just hope you won't have to use it that often." Reiko hummed noncommittally in response to that. Touko couldn't blame her. It was not like she had much of a voice in that matter. It made Touko sick to her stomach how the world could be so cruel.
They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Reiko's gaze kept coming back to Touko, lingering on her shoulder. Or more specifically, a place above her shoulder, next to her head. After a bit, Reiko seemingly made up her mind.
"That's a nice crow you've got there. I've never seen a white one before," she noted conversationally, letting her eyes wander to Touko's face again, studying her expression carefully. That caught her off guard. A white crow? Takashi's white crow?, was her immediate thought. She was unsure on how to react because once again, she wasn't able to see the same white bird they could see. But this time she could at least feel its presence, even if it was vague. It reassured her.
"It's a dear friend," is what she decided to say in the end. It felt like the truth to her, without getting into all the complicated details. The eyes scrutinizing her looked even more cat-like now than before.
"So you can see it too?" And then quieter, "You can see them?" Touko's smile turned sad. This was obviously a very important moment for Reiko, yet she wouldn't be able to tell her what she wanted to hear, maybe even desperately needed to hear. But Touko wouldn't lie to her. Not like this.
"I'm sorry, Reiko-chan. I'm not able to see it," she confessed somberly. The disappointment was more than evident on Reiko's face.
"Then why…?"
"I can not see the white crow," she explained, "but my son told me about it. It's seemingly the partner of a black crow that I am friends with. My son said it was a beautiful bird though."
Reiko's expression went through many emotions at once. Sadness and hurt being reflected at the same time as contentment and yearning.
"Your son is right about that. It's gorgeous." Her face somewhat settled, a wistful smile appearing on her lips. "Your son is really lucky to have you by his side."
"Thank you, Reiko-chan. I hope you're right about that," admitted the woman. Being a helping hand, his bridge over troubled water, was what she really wanted to be for Takashi. Unfortunately, only time would be able to tell her how successful she was in her endeavors.
"I know that I am," she answered, some of her former confidence coming back. "Perceiving a whole different world from everyone else can be really alienating, so I'm glad your son got someone like you by his side. Someone with patient and kind hands. That is something precious for people like us because we so rarely receive such things."
Touko could feel her eyes get slightly damp so she blinked a few times to get a hold of her emotions. "I'm sorry that you don't get all the kindness you deserve. It's wrong of people to ostracize you just because the world you see is bigger than theirs. You deserve to have someone in your corner," she declared passionately. Reiko's eyes were full of admiration and longing. Just then a quiet admission of mutual respect passed between the two of them. One for being open-minded and open-hearted, the other for staying strong when everyone tried their hardest to put her down just for existing.
A cool wind ruffled through their hair, making Touko realize how far the sun had already dipped. She was now considerably lower than when she arrived in this strange place. Reiko seemed to have noticed the same thing.
"I should head back before anyone complains about me being late," she said ruefully. Touko nodded in agreement. She wouldn't want Reiko walking home in the dark. So she fought her way back to her feet, her joints cracking in protest. Then she held out her hand for Reiko to take, which she did with a smile. After having pulled her to her feet too, Touko and Reiko climbed the little slope back up to the road in silence.
Now they would have to say goodbye. That only made Touko's chest ache more because she knew she would probably never see Reiko again and it made her heart heavy to have to leave the girl behind.
"Can I hug you?" This sudden request seemed to shock Reiko and she contemplated it for a bit, before ultimately deciding "Fuck it." She awkwardly opened her arms and Touko didn't hesitate a second to embrace the girl, deciding to let her cursing slip. Touko tried to convey as many emotions as possible through the hug to make Reiko understand all the things she had and hadn't said today and to give her hope. There was kindness and love out there for Reiko, Touko was sure of it. She only needed to find it and not shy away from it, once it was in reach.
After a bit, Reiko finally ended the hug. Then she extended her hand, scratching the invisible crow on Touko's shoulder.
"Don't stop being there for your son, please. No matter what happens or what he says," Reiko requested, turning back to Touko. Touko answered just as seriously to the girl's plea.
"Of course. I'll be by his side for as long as I can. I can promise you that." Reiko nodded, satisfied.
"But you have to promise me something too, Reiko-chan. Don't let the world drag you down. Don't let them steal your spark. You're a magnificent and unique young girl, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." Reiko smiled at her with a complicated expression adorning her face, but she nodded again, nonetheless.
"I will try my best," she promised.
"That's all I can ask for."
Reiko lurched forward and gave Touko another quick hug, before turning around and starting to march towards the town.
"Take care, Touko-san. Maybe we'll see each other again," she said over her shoulder, confident smile back in place and lifted her arm to wave goodbye.
Touko waved back, a bittersweet smile on her own lips.
"Take care, Reiko-chan."
She waited until Reiko was out of sight, before she turned around as well and walked back towards the trees where she had emerged from earlier.
"I think I should head home too," she said to herself as much as to the crow on her shoulder. "Don't you think so too? I still have groceries I need to put away and then dinner…" But before she could go on with her to-do-list the presence lifted off of her shoulder and a strong wind accompanied by a soft sensation engulfed her again.
When she opened her eyes this time the blooming trees had vanished and instead were replaced again by nature in its summer clothes. The sun was still fairly high in the sky. Just as she had left it. As if she was never gone.
The black crow sat back on its branch, inspecting her with its smart eyes.
"I'm back," she declared as if that wasn't more than obvious. Then she clapped her hands together. "I think you deserve a treat," she decided and finally started her track home. The crow, loudly cawing, overtaking her, making its way towards her home faster than her. Not that she was going to race the black crow, even if she wanted to get home as fast as possible. All of the sudden she had the strong urge to give her son a long, warm hug.