Chapter Text
So Bucky sleep talks, like you can have a full conversation with him and he'll be asleep.
It was funny at first, but after awhile when your trying to sleep it becomes less funny and more like you wanna smother him.
So Buck made this binder full of blank pieces of paper, so people can add the ridiculous conversations they've had with Bucky.
In his sleep by the way.
So let's read through them shall we.
Case number one.
June 1943.
Bucky: "Hello?"
Curt: "What's up John?"
Bucky: "Who is that?"
Curt: "Who John?"
Bucky: "That guy over there, oh never mind it's a coffee mug."
Curt: "Okay buddy goodnight."
Bucky: "Merry Christmas."
Curt doesn't know either, he wishes he did. But he was trying so hard not to laugh because Bucky sounded so concerned.
Case number two.
June 1943.
Bucky: "I don't know."
Bubbles: "What now John?"
Bucky: "Be careful that's a German fighter plane, they bite."
Bubbles: "There is no German fighter plane, and since when do they bite?"
Bucky: "Benny stop it's going to eat you."
Bubbles: "Sleep you weirdo."
Bucky: "I am asleep David."
Bubbles: "I know, still not who you think I am."
Bucky: "Okay goodbye."
Bubbles asked to be moved a couple weeks later, because he kept falling asleep during missions.
Case number three.
July 1943.
Bucky: "Darling you alive?"
Buck: "Yes as far as I'm aware."
Bucky: "Just making sure."
Buck: "Alright, goodnight I love you."
Bucky: "I love you too."
Thirty minutes later...
Bucky: "You dead?"
Buck: "No I'm alive, go to sleep."
Bucky: "Alright I believe you....love you."
Buck: "No I love you."
Bucky: "He's in the corner."
Buck: "Who Bucky?"
Buck never did find out who Bucky was referring to, but honestly he didn't really want to find out.
Case number four.
November 1943.
Hambone: "Jesus Christ, what are you doing?"
Bucky: "I'm looking for the milk, it's wanted."
Hambone: "Excuse me?"
Bucky: "I just told you, the milk is a fugitive."
Hambone: "It's in the mess, officer."
Bucky: "No."
Hambone was terrified that night, mostly because Bucky had slowly sat up in his bunk and just stared at him, poor Hambone was just trying to catch up on some reading.
Case number five:
December 1943.
Brady: "Move, you're suffocating me."
Bucky: "No you're not."
Ten minutes later.
Bucky: "Get away from me Kraut."
Twenty minutes later.
Bucky: "Why can't we cuddle Johnny?"
Brady: "You called me a Kraut, and shoved me out of my own bed."
Bucky: "Nope, didn't happen."
Bucky sleep walks as well, so sometimes you will wake up to Bucky wrapped around you trying to suffocate you with his limbs. That's what happened to Brady on this late December night in Stalag. Poor Brady ended up sleeping on the floor that night.
Case number six:
February 1944.
Bucky: "Crank?"
Five minutes later.
Bucky: "Earth to Crank."
Crank: "What could you possibly want?"
Bucky: "Where's the lights?"
Crank: "John what the hell does that mean?"
Bucky: "He told you wouldn't understand."
Crank: "I'm so lost right now."
Bucky: "The wires are guilty."
Crank: "I have zero idea what you mean?"
Bucky: "Oh whatever."
Crank stayed awake that night, just wondering what the hell Bucky was on about. But he'd never figure it'd out.
Case number seven.
February 1944, Valentines day, at least Buck thinks.
Bucky: "I love you more than cheese."
Buck: "I love you too."
Bucky: "They love you as well."
Buck: "Who's they?"
Bucky: "You know them."
Buck: "Who is them, Bucky?"
Bucky: "Wait you can't seem them, over there in the corner."
Buck: "John your scaring me."
Bucky: "You never seem to get me."
Buck: "What?"
Nothing screams happy Valentines day then the person your fated to be with seeing things in his sleep, Buck still questions who the fuck they are?
Case number eight.
March 1944.
DeMarco: "Dude did you fall asleep on me?"
Bucky: "The walls are thinking."
DeMarco: "The what?"
Bucky: "The shelf as well."
DeMarco: "Which one?"
Bucky: "I'm not buying a new shelf."
DeMarco: "We can't exactly do that anyway, so don't worry."
Bucky: "I know that, that's why I'm building us a shelf duh."
Benny spent the night taking the shelfs down, turning them into firewood, because if the shelfs have somehow become sentient he's not gonna explain that mess. But he did have to explain why everyones stuff was on the table next morning.
Case number nine.
April 1944.
Bucky: "It's okay Buck, it's okay."
Five minutes later.
Bucky: "Shh it's okay, I'm here."
He was not in fact latched onto Buck, no he was latched onto poor Bubbles.
Case number ten.
April 1944.
Bucky: "I need to make Hambone a grill."
Hambone: "What do I need to grill?"
Bucky: "The snow in my boots."
Hambone: "You want me to grill the snow in your boots?"
Bucky: "Yea well they have to stay hot, or else..."
Hambone: "Snow needs to be hot?"
Bucky: "Yea so it doesn't go away."
Hambone: "Right, have fun with that John."
Hambone continues to pick on him for that one, because he's an idiot even in his sleep.
Case number eleven.
July 1944.
Bucky: "Bubbles."
Twenty minutes later.
Bucky: "Bubbles wake up, I have an important question."
Bubbles: "What?"
Bucky: "Who is the girl in the corner?"
Bubbles: "Uh?"
Bucky: "You know the girl."
Bubbles: "What girl, there's no girl in here."
Bucky: "The one that lives in the empty bunk, are you deaf, can't you see her?"
Bubbles: "Okay stop, your really scaring me."
He then proceeded to speak in what Bubbles can assume is gibberish, about how unicorns disappeared into the ocean, in response to that he went:
"Go the fuck to bed."
Bucky continued to babble in gibberish, ending the conversation with:
"And that's why platypuses are scary."
Bubbles doesn't know either, he didn't sleep that night that's for sure.
Case number twelve.
September 1944.
Bucky: "What you doing?"
Curt: "Nothing, just watching the rain with Dickie."
Bucky: "Where exactly?"
Curt: "Just a few feet away from you?"
Bucky: "That's really good."
Twenty minutes later.
Bucky: "Why is the hamster there?"
Dickie: "What hamster, and where?"
Bucky: "Never mind, you people never understand me."
Both Dickie and Curt were confused to say the least.