Work Text:
So Kidd swears he's directing toddlers, that know how to fly a B-17, he just can't seem to escape them.
He never thought in a million years he'd be saying this shit, to adult men.
But he has.
So he writes it all down for the sake of his sanity.
He wishes he was making these up, but he wasn't.
Number one:
June 1943.
"Where did you get a hotdog?" (Kidd)
"I found it." (DeMarco)
Number two:
Still June of 1943.
"Okay is this pudding, chocolate, or something else entirely?" (Kidd)
"Is other also an answer?" (Douglass)
"I made it." (Hambone)
Number three:
Still June of 1943.
"How did you guys get naked so fast? I've been gone five seconds." (Kidd)
Buck and Bucky just blink at him innocently.
Number four:
July 1943.
"Please don't ride Meatball like a horse." (Kidd)
Brady and DeMarco just look at him like deer in the headlights, Meatball just wags his tail so happy to be there.
Number five:
Still July of 1943.
"Yes I was around when the dinosaurs existed, thank you for asking me, what I think a triceratops ate." (Kidd)
"I was just curious, Dickie wouldn't answer." (Curt)
"I wonder why?" (Kidd)
Number six:
Still July of 1943
"Don't put that in your mouth." (Kidd)
"But I already did." (Hambone)
"Of course you did, why wouldn't you have?" (Kidd)
Number seven:
August 1943
"Benny you won't die if you eat dog food, but stop eating dog food. I don't care that Meatball eats human food, that doesn't mean you eat dog food." (Kidd)
"What if I ate it with milk? Like cereal?" (DeMarco)
Number eight:
October 1943
"Where did you find a full baked potato?" (Kidd)
"I saved it, and left it in my desk." (Bubbles)
"Okay." (Kidd)
Number ten:
Still October 1943.
"No I'm not pregnant. I'm just grumpy." (Kidd)
"Why?" (Bucky)
Kidd looks at him with the seriously look.
Number eleven:
Still October 1943.
"I hundred percent agree, Halloween should be all year long. But I don't think at our age we should be trick or treating." (Kidd)
"Why I want candy?" (Hambone)
"We can have a Halloween party?" (Kidd)
Number twelve:
November 1943.
"Please don't lick the oven door, yes the pie does smell good. But I don't think you taste it like that." (Kidd)
"I was just testing a theory." (Brady)
"Right, of course." (Kidd)
Number thirteen:
Still November 1943.
"What do you mean there's crabs on the loose, like the STD or actual crabs?" (Kidd)
"Hermit crabs." (Blakely.)
"It was my idea." (Bucky)
"Yea that makes perfect sense John, of course it was your idea." (Kidd)
Number fourteen:
December 1943.
"How did pudding end up on the ceiling?" (Kidd)
"Well um, that's a funny story." (Douglass)
"I'm afraid to ask what on earth you and Ham were doing in here." (Kidd)
Number fifteen:
January 1944.
"Have you been wearing two pairs of pants all day?" (Kidd)
"I can explain." (Buck)
"Oh please do this should be interesting." (Kidd)
Number sixteen:
Still January 1944.
"Ham, your twenty years old. The tooth fairy is not gonna come for some random tooth you found." (Kidd)
"Really? So I yanked this out of a replacements head for nothing." (Hambone)
"Please say your joking." (Kidd)
Number seventeen:
February 1944.
"Those aren't the boots you were wearing on the mission." (Kidd)
"Aren't they cool?" (Quinn)
"Yes sure, but one they aren't up to uniform and two I'm pretty sure they don't belong to you." (Kidd)
Number eighteen:
March 1944.
"Where did you find popcorn shrimp, we are miles from the ocean and the nearest seafood place?" (Kidd)
"Under my seat. It's like a treat for doing a good job." (Bucky.)
"Right okay." (Kidd)
Number nineteen:
"Crosby, I'm like ninety percent sure you have to wear pants." (Kidd)
"But I can't find them." (Crosby)
"Look harder." (Kidd)
Number twenty:
"What is that smell?" (Kidd)
"Pizza, I left it under the bed for later." (DeMarco)
"You're worse then Bubbles." (Kidd)