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Again the 100th are big and scary men, obviously.
That's true in some other universe, but these men can't even kill a spider.
They are just loveable idiots, who somehow manage to fly a B-17.
But when they are grounded because of mother nature, they go stir crazy.
So Douglass made a list of what to do and what not to do in a severe thunderstorm.
He pulls it out when necessary, he has Bubbles get him a microphone.
Which doesn't work without power, but you know nobodys told him that yet.
So lets listen.
Number one: Buddy system, pick a partner to brave out the storm.
Number two: You can't have Hambone or Blakely for completely different reasons.
Number three: You can't have Hambone because he's my security person, and he lets me cuddle him.
Number four: You can't have Blakely either, because where else am I going to get my gossip or my entertainment. I'm not going read a book Rosie, I'm not ninety.
Number five: Don't question why Rosie reads a book in the dark, he's a little old man.
Number six: Don't panic when the power goes out, Smokey is getting tired of treating power out related injuries.
Number seven: Do grab flashlights, then you can run through the base yelling "We are all going to die." The replacements reactions are priceless.
Number eight: Don't run outside and stick your ass in the air hoping to get hit by lightning.
Number nine: Bucky does shadow puppet shows in the dance hall, if enough people ask.
Number ten: Don't ride your bikes in the storm, that's how we lost Babyface.
Number eleven: Don't worry about Babyface he's fine, at least we are ninety percent sure on that fact.
Number twelve: Do panic eat everything in the mess, because we don't know how long the power will be out.
Number thirteen: Buck will do an Elvis impression if you bother him long enough.
Number fourteen: No fucking in the rain, this is mostly directed towards a Richard Snyder and a Curtis Biddick, I don't care that your married. It's not legal anyway. I love you guys!
Number fifteen: Someone please locate Ken and Winks, before they blow away.
Number sixteen: Do make sure you put the parking break on in your Jeep, Kidd was almost murdered the last storm by a flying Jeep.
Number seventeen: Forts, we make forts to hide in.
Number eighteen: Cuddling is highly encouraged, I'm pretty sure we have a guidebook for puppy piling located somewhere it's in a purple binder, with a glitter font thats says "Puppy Pile" on the front.
Number nineteen: People scared of dark including Blakely, get the more powerful flashlights
Number twenty: Don't eat the shredded cheese, that's Hambones job.
Number twenty one: Do eat the ice cream, but don't let the mess cooks see you stealing it.
Number twenty two: Don't go raiding the mess if you can't cry at the drop of a hat, that's why we send Quinn and Babyface, Quinn is an amazing cryer.
Number twenty three: Ice cream party is a necessary thing.
Number twenty four: Don't worry about Red, he's a party pooper, he's no fun whatsoever. I mean the man wrote rules on how to party, you can't make rules on a fucking party, don't worry Bubbles will go play bingo with him eventually.
Number twenty five: DeMarco you can't have both Brady and Meatball as your comfort partner, I'm allowed to have two you can not.
Number twenty six: Slow dancing in the rain is allowed when the conditions outside won't kill you.
Number twenty seven: No drinking during a thunderstorm, unless we decide it's that kinda of party.
Number twenty eight: If we decide it's that type of party, we take shots everytime we hear thunder.
Number twenty nine: If you see a spider, no you didn't.
Number thirty: Tea parties are heavily encouraged, they are so much fun especially when there's drama.
Number thirty one: Tea parties are done in the forts, I don't make the rules, I just write them down.
Number thirty two: Bug Helen for hot donuts and hot chocolate, if it doesn't work the first time, send someone who can do the cute face, you know where you pout and bat your eyes.
Number thirty three: Do arts and crafts, Buck makes the best sock puppets.
Number thirty four: No sissors during arts and crafts time especially in the dark, Bucky accidently stab himself, that was fun to explain.
Number thirty five: Do let DeMarco and Brady into the band room or where the room where the instruments are hidden. You haven't lived until DeMarco runs down the hall playing the trumpet all well Brady is chasing after him playing the squeeze keys, what's that instrument called?
Number thirty six: Do let Bubbles sing, he can sing beautiful and hauntingly.
Number thirty seven: Don't let Bucky sing, whatever you do, don't let him sing. He only knows one song.
Number thirty eight: Don't let Crosby sing, just don't. He sounds like a donkey giving birth.
Number thirty nine: Do let Bubbles sing in the dark, I love watching replacements running down the hall screaming "it's gonna eat me."
Number forty: Do let Meatball howl, he's more in tune then Bucky and Crosby combined.
Number forty one: Truth or dare is banned, after what Bucky did with Buck in front of us, I still see it when I close my eyes.
Number forty two: Showering together as a group during a storm is prohibited, something about lighting could hit the pipes.
Number forty three: Don't ask Stormy when this is going to end, are you trying to put on a limit on fun?
Number forty four: If you are a party pooper like Red, then your getting banished to go play bingo with him, grandma.
Number forty five: S'mores are a must, we use the burners in the mess to roast marshmallows.
Number forty six: Ghost stories are a must, especially with a flashlight.
Number forty seven: Puppet shows will be put by on Buck, he'll do that more than the Elvis.
Number forty eight: Hide and Seek is a necessity, it's so much fun in the dark. Smokey lost almost lost his eye, and Harding ran into a wall the last time.
Number forty nine: Tag is a necessity, that's also so much fun in the dark, especially when musical instruments are involved.
Number fifty: A bike race must happen, we'll make a track using candles, DeMarco will soundtrack since he doesn't know how to ride a bike.