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It was roughly 2 am in the Wasteland when Jay found herself teleported back into Sanctuary. In the Institute, there had been no concept of time, and she was lost on how long she had been gone. But based on how no one was waiting around for her arrival, she guessed it had been a couple of days.
So using that information, a few days prior to that moment, Jay had woken up bright and early in the morning wearing nothing but a damp t shirt and underwear. She had opened her eyes to the slowly brightening sky and known she might die that day. There had been some fear in her chest as she just listened to the soft sound of Hancock snoring in the other room and engines whirring outside, but when she put her feet on the ground, it had melted away.
Jay had wrapped her blanket around her small form as she had walked out of her long gone bedroom, goosebumps covering her skin from the coolness of the air. Hancock had been fast asleep in Shaun’s room, laid out on the old, wooden rocking chair. There’d been a smile on Jay’s face for a moment as she leaned against the doorframe, allowing herself one more small moment of untainted happinesses without fear of later regretting it. Her arms had crossed and she simply watched him before turning to walk away.
But with her luck, her silent and smooth exit had been interrupted by her foot catching on the rug that stretched up and down the entirety of the hallway. With a squeal, she’d tripped and caught herself on the doorway to her room, yet she’d made enough noise to stir Hancock. His snoring had stopped abruptly, and he was on his feet, shotgun ready to fire when he’d seen her turning around, brushing her hair out of her face with a sheepish smiled worn on her face. Hancock had lowered his shotgun with an affectionate smile directed her way.
“What are you doing up so early, sunshine?” he’d asked while flicking the safety back on his gun. He’d tossed it to the side before picking up his jacket and shrugging it on.
Jay had shrugged. “I dunno. I just did,” she’d told him, and while he knew some reason had woken her up, he hadn’t pressed it. He’d just nodded to himself, rubbing dirt off of his coat for a second before he’d finally looked up and stared at her. She’d been leaning against the doorframe again, arms crossed and hair carefully pushed back from her face.
Hancock had smiled to himself, and Jay had raised her eyebrows in confusion as he’d walked to her and ruffled her hair. The strands went everywhere, and the careful neatness Jay had worked on was quickly ruined. She frowned, and had opened her mouth to yell but he’d interrupted her. “You don’t gotta tidy yourself up to look pretty, blue,” he’d whispered, and she’d giggled quietly, looking down the ground and pushed some hair back behind her ear like she was a schoolgirl again. Hancock had watched her fondly, tilting his head to mirror her. “What’s so funny, blue?”
Jay had shrugged, looking back up at him with wide and innocent eyes. “N-nothing,” she’d told him, and he’d smirked a smirk so beautiful she knew God must have put him just on Earth and in Commonwealth to drive her insane with love.
“You know, sunshine, you’re cute when you’re embarrassed,” he’d told her, getting awfully close. He’d only been a few inches away from her, yet stood a good number of inches above her to the point where she had to lift up her to look him in the eyes. Her heart had been beating rapidly in her chest while the two had just held eye contact, neither of them saying anything. Hancock had licked his lips and smirked down at her, pointing up to the bright sky through the destroyed ceiling. Jay had followed his directions, eyes drifting up to the brilliant sky painted in pinks and soft purples as the sun slowly began to beat down upon them. “You see that, blue? What’s the sun doing?” he’d asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Jay had frowned to herself, not understanding why he was asking such a strange question. “Uh...shine?” she’d guessed, voice clearly displaying her confusion because Hancock had chuckled, catching her attention. He hadn’t been looking at the sky when the two looked at each other again, but instead was gazing at her as though she were the sky. Her cheeks had been bright red, and her eyes had been wide under his gaze. The only man who had ever looked at her as though she were his world had been Nate. Enough said.
“And what do you do, blue?” His voice was but a whisper, and she felt the butterflies flap around in her chest as he spoke. Every word dripped with raw and unconditional emotion and she’d been taken aback, but tried her best to answer.
“Uh...breathe? Eat? Sleep?” she guessed, a small smile coming to her face when Hancock laughed, shaking his head as he’d looked back up to the sky.
“No, blue, you shine. Like the brightest fucking star in the sky, like-”
“The sun,” she interrupted, voice breathless as a foreign, forgotten feeling had washed away all fear and doubt in her. Hancock had grinned a cheeky kind of grin down at her, fingers brushing against her own. She’d flinched, not used to the touch and display of affection, head shooting down to look at their hands. Hancock had pulled his hand away as she simply stared down at their hands, but when he moved to intertwine their fingers, she didn’t move away. Instead, she’d let their fingers intertwine, and to just let herself show him, for a few timeless moments, the love and suppressed emotions she felt for him.
But, like any other moment, Jay had to open up her big mouth and ruin every chance of happiness for whomever was involved.
“I’m going to the Institute in a few hours, Hancock,” she’d whispered, head down so she looked at his feet and dangling red coat. At first, he hadn’t said anything, and his silence had caused her to look up into his eyes. He’d clearly understood the implications of her being teleported, because his expression was terrified, almost as though a puppy was being taken from his care. She’d immediately felt guilt, sadness and fear swell up in her chest, and she’d opened her mouth to speak but he’d beat her to it.
“Will you be okay?” he’d asked, and Jay’d licked her lips slowly, looking away. Her movement had answered his question, and the grip on her right hand began tighter as he held her hand with more force. It was not painful, but more comforting as he held her closer and harder, and she’d let herself remain for a few moments.
“I don’t know.”
“Are you bringing me?”
She’d dropped his hand at the, shaking her head as she’d looked up to his eyes. Never before had she seen Hancock so scared and concerned, and under the brilliant colors painting the Wasteland from the sunshine, he’d looked beautifully scarred by the cruel, fucked up world. “I-I can’t. They’re only able to teleport one person.”
Immediately, he’d frowned. “ One person? In the Institute? You’re gonna get killed!” he’d exclaimed, and Jay nodded. Immediately, he’d understood in a heartbeat, and pulled away from her like she’d just insulted his entire existence. “That’s why you’ve been so fuckin weird lately, blue. Because…” he’d trailed off, not daring to say it.
So Jay’d spoken for him. “Because I’ll probably die.”
But she had lived. She had met her son, spent a few nights in one of their rooms, and, most importantly, gotten out alive. Jay had also gotten a bonus of attaining no injuries.
She knew that Hancock would most definitely be awake, sitting in her living room waiting for her to return. He’d have a beer in his hands and Jet in his veins, counting how long she had been away in tune with how many hits he he took. Jay wasn’t sure how Hancock would react, but she was looking forward to seeing that old red jacket and tender, soft hands that kept her from flying away in the middle of the night.
No one was out in the streets as she slowly approached her old house, yet voices carried out from houses as settlers spoke to one another. There were no settlers to welcome her back and to end rumors of her death, but she was more focused on returning to home, to Hancock.
When she reached her house, Jay stood there for a few moments, simply listening to whatever voices may be within. It was completely silent, and so Jay entered.
Hancock was nowhere to be seen in the living room or kitchen, and confusion spread hot and quick through her. She furrowed her eyebrows, slinging her pack off of her shoulder and onto the couch. There were obvious signs of his presence, however. Beer bottles had been thrown around, empty chems littering the floor as well. Guilt and worry immediately replaced the confusion as she realized he was destroying himself so her ‘death’ would hurt less.
“Hancock?” she called out, beginning to walk down the hallway. There was no reply, and so Jay continued, a tad bit quicker. Worry was sprouting within her chest and panic was beginning to consume her as the worst possible situations popped into her mind. What if he had been shot by a stray raider the turrets hadn’t caught? What if he had accidentally shot up on too much Psycho to try and take off the edge, effectively taking the edge off forever ? What if-
She quickly rounded into her bedroom, heart stuck in her throat as she desperately prayed to any God that Hancock was simply sleeping. Her eyes were wide, mouth open and ready to yell when she skidded into her ruined bedroom. The yell died in her throat as she looked into familiar eyes, confused and scared as her mouth fell shut.
For a few breathless moments, the two simply stared at each other with wide, confused and terrified eyes before Jay laughed, running her hands through her hair in relief. “Holy shit, thank God. I thought...I thought you were dead or hurt yourself and-”
“Jay,” Hancock said, voice flat and powerful. Said woman stopped running her hands through her hair, and turned back to look at him. His eyes were so incredibly sad as he just stared at her. “Is that you?” he asked, voice so incredibly small that Jay could’ve sworn her heart had broken in those few moments.
“Yeah, it’s me,” she told him, confused but not willing to voice her questions.
“Am I high?” he asked, and she laughed, shaking her head.
“I dunno. But I’m here.”
“You’re not dead?”
“No. I’m here.”
Hancock stared at her silently for a few moments again, clearly not believing her. His mouth turned up into a bitter grin as he chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “No, you’re just another hallucination. Knew I shouldn’t have done all that Jet and Psycho. Gives you one hell of a trip,” he laughed, turning away from her.
Jay furrowed her eyebrows, shaking her head. She was unsure of what to do to convince him, but she saw the loaded syringes placed on the dresser beside the bed and knew she couldn’t leave him alone. With a deep breath, she shoved down the fear she felt and sat down next to the ghoul. He looked back over at her, eyes slowly becoming red and Jay realized, with a sinking feeling in her chest, that he was about to cry. Her eyebrows twisted up and she slowly reached for his hand, taking it into her own.
Like he’d just been stabbed, Hancock’s eyes flitted down to where their hands met, surprise vivid on his face before he looked back up to her. Jay gave him a small, bittersweet smile, and he reached up, pushing her bangs behind her ear. She leaned into his hand, and he held her cheek. “You’re alive,” he whispered.
Jay nodded, intertwining their fingers. “I’m alive.”
And she knew in that moment, she could never leave him. Even if it meant she would have to leave everything else behind just for him.