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Ieiri Shoko was no stranger to Gojo Satoru’s all-consuming crush on their best friend Geto Suguru. She had witnessed Satoru blatantly staring, with a lovesick expression on his face, at Suguru more than she cared to. She listened to him talk about Suguru’s eyes, his hair, his face, his body, his cursed technique, etc.
In fact, she was there when Satoru realized that he did not merely have a crush on Suguru, but was in actuality, desperately in love with Suguru.
“Oh no… Shoko…I don’t just like him,” Satoru had looked at her forlornly, before continuing, “He’s my one and only… and I’m in love with him. I love him so much, Shoko,” He was laying on her dorm room bed, and had shoved his face into her pillow in distress. Shoko sat on her windowsill across from him, rolling her eyes. She had carefully cracked it open to allow for easier access to smoke without getting caught. So far, Yaga-sensei suspected nothing.
Suguru was on a solo mission at the moment, and Satoru had been unbearable without Suguru’s calming presence. What was laughable to Shoko was that Suguru had only been away for a whopping 45 minutes. Satoru had burst into her room 10 minutes after Suguru left, talked about Suguru almost non-stop, and then made this very loud and very obvious declaration. He really was quite dramatic.
Shoko, who had already known this about Satoru, remained calm, "I know you do, Satoru.”
“What do you mean you know? I only just realized this, Shoko! Do you think he knows!?” Satoru sat up abruptly, looking panicked. His blue eyes were wide and worried.
“Satoru, it’s obvious to everyone, except for him... and apparently to you, too.”
“He can’t ever know, Shoko,” Satoru immediately flung himself in her direction, grabbing tightly onto the hand that was not holding her cigarette. Shoko’s eyebrows rose in surprise, unused such a lapse in confidence from Satoru.
“Why not?” Shoko was confused. For all that she acted nonchalant, she did care about Satoru and Suguru’s well-being.
“Because, he probably thinks we’re like very platonic best friends or worse brothers,” Satoru pouted, lips turning down in disgust at the mention of being Suguru’s brother. Shoko frowned.
“No one thinks you're brothers, Satoru,” Shoko said with as much conviction as she could muster. There was no way that brothers would ever look at each other the way Satoru and Suguru did.
“It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks though, Shoko. What if he thinks of me as a brother?” Satoru was gripping her hand very hard. She was honestly surprised he had let down infinity with her. She could feel the warmth of his hand against hers. She gently squeezed back. He seemed to notice that he was being too firm with her and his grip lessened, though he did not remove his hand from hers. It was nice. She liked that Satoru had become more comfortable with both her and Suguru.
Shoko was trying not to laugh at Satoru’s comment. If only Satoru knew that Shoko had already had a very similar conversation with Suguru, who had realized he was in love with Satoru; bemoaning the very same concerns months ago.
“There’s no way, Satoru.”
“You don’t know that, Shoko! He could be thinking to himself, right now, man Satoru is such a great bro.”
Shoko knew for a fact that this was very much a romantic love between them and very much not a platonic or brotherly love. Now, while Shoko cared very much for these daft boys, she was not above using this to her advantage. If asked, Shoko would blame prolonged exposure to Satoru and Suguru for her dubiously moral decision-making, which led her to the following, “Let’s make a bet.”
“A bet?” Satoru perked up, his wallowing ceasing instantly. He was now looking at her with equal parts suspicion and interest. Shoko knew Satoru would not be able to resist a challenge. He never backed down.
“Yeah, a bet. I bet that Suguru is interested in you, and that he absolutely does not want you to be his brother, but would actually like you to be his very non-platonic, very gay boyfriend. If I win, you buy me cigarettes until we graduate.”
Satoru laughed, “Yeah, that’s not happening, Shoko. I am sorry you won’t be getting your cigarettes.”
“So, no bet?”
“No, I’ll take you on, but there’s no way that you’re right. He definitely sees us as just friends. When I win, you'll have to buy me sweet crepes, whenever I want, until we graduate. You’re probably going to need to get a job to be able to pay for the sheer amount of crepes I’m going to need to eat after I get rejected, Shoko. I’m gonna need so much sugar to mask my sadness, and probably even more after that.”
Damn, Satoru was an ass. Shoko felt less guilty. What Satoru did not know was that this bet was rigged, but she figured, it was harmless, as they would both get what they wanted in the end.
“You’re on.”
Satoru looked surprised, “Seriously? Shoko…I know you can’t afford that.”
“I won’t have to, rich boy. I promise you’re the one who’s going to be funding my addiction. Now, let’s talk about how you plan to confess to Suguru.”
----------------------------------------------
Satoru found himself pacing in front of Suguru’s room. It felt like hours had past, but in reality, it had only been thirty minutes since he left Shoko’s dorm and headed straight here. Suguru was due back any time now, and Satoru had rehearsed the plan he and Shoko had made in his head at least 10 times already. He was going to ask Suguru to talk privately, and then tell him his true feelings.
Satoru had given himself a pep talk, which had ranged from “You’re the strongest you can do this. You can handle rejection” to making plans to move out of Tokyo to a remote town on the outskirts of society where he would change his name and hide from Suguru for the rest of their lives. He knew this was unrealistic, and truth be told, he knew he would take whatever he could have with Suguru, even if that meant trying to stop loving Suguru romantically.
Satoru was so deep in thought that he did not register Suguru’s return, until he felt a palm land gently on his shoulder. Satoru jumped in surprise, his infinity instantly activating and dislodging Suguru’s grasp.
“Satoru, what’s wrong?” Suguru looked concerned and hurt. Satoru knew he was not used to infinity being used toward him. Satoru took a breath, adjusting, and relaxed as the weight and warmth of Suguru’s palm settled back against his shoulder. Satoru relished in the familiarity of their physical connection.
“Sorry, I got distracted,” Satoru replied, smiling bashfully. It felt off. He knew he was behaving awkwardly, when Suguru looked even more worried.
“You’re always aware of your surroundings, is something going on with your technique? Did something happen? Are you hurt?” Suguru scanned him, eyebrows furrowed. Ever since the Star Plasma incident, Suguru had been more protective of Satoru. He seemed to need reassurance that Satoru was alive, which Satoru could empathize with. He felt the same.
“I’m ok, Suguru. I really was just distracted,” Satoru said in earnest, placing his own hand on Suguru’s shoulder. He noticed Suguru visibly calming at his touch. He loved how much Suguru cared for him. It made him feel warm.
“Ok, if you’re sure,” Suguru still seemed hesitant, though did not push the issue, instead, he focused his energy on opening a bag. Satoru hadn't noticed he'd been carrying one, “I got you something.” Satoru’s heart nearly burst. Suguru was so considerate. Satoru loved him so much. He could barely contain it.
“I got you zunda and cream. It’s not from your favorite bakery though. They were closed by the time I finished my mission. I’m sorry,” And Suguru genuinely looked and sounded so apologetic and upset by this, as though the very act of purchasing Satoru mochi was not enough.
“Thank you, Suguru! I can't wait to eat it,” Satoru pulled Suguru into a hug. Suguru returned his embrace just as fiercely.
Satoru wondered if he could be content, and if this could be enough for him. Satoru knew his answer immediately. For Satoru, even if it was painful, it would be enough if it meant that he would have Suguru at his side forever.
And yet, Satoru knew that he needed to at least be honest with Suguru, even if it did result in some awkwardness between them. He had to have faith in Suguru and their bond. He knew, realistically, that even if Suguru did not love him back the way he wanted him to, that Suguru would never abandon him.
Satoru stepped back slightly, keeping his hand on Suguru’s shoulder to ground himself. He was not sure if he would be allowed to touch Suguru again if this did not go well.
Suguru quirked an eyebrow at him, an unspoken question in the air between them.
“Suguru… I need to tell you something,” Satoru said, uncharacteristically nervous.
“Okay,” Suguru nodded for him to continue.
“I…” Satoru was at a loss for words. Everything that he and Shoko had rehearsed left his mind instantaneously, and now, he was floundering for words.
“What is it, Satoru?” Suguru leaned forward, concern etching his features once more. Satoru nearly died from heart palpitations, as Suguru raised a palm to cup Satoru’s face, gently forcing Satoru to look at him directly. Satoru leaned into the touch.
Satoru had thought he had made peace with this being enough, yet as Suguru cradled his face, Satoru knew he was never going to survive if Suguru really did love him like a brother.
“Do you see me as a brother?” Satoru blurted out. He had not meant to ask that, but his anxious thoughts had disrupted his plan. He immediately considered teleporting to anywhere but here. He breathed deeply and forced himself to stay and await Suguru’s response, which was instantaneous.
Satoru watched as Suguru’s warm and gentle expression closed off at Satoru’s words. He felt Suguru’s hand drop, though Satoru’s own hand immediately reached out to catch it before it could fall to Suguru’s side. His face already felt bare without Suguru holding him. Satoru's stomach clenched. Something was wrong.
Suguru plastered on a fake smile, which Satoru had never once had aimed at him. It had never bothered Satoru before, because Satoru had always witnessed Suguru use it to feign politeness toward higher ups or toward particularly rude non-sorcerers, but never Satoru. Now, it unsettled him. It felt wrong. "Is that what you want us to be, Satoru?”
“No.” Satoru said honestly, hoping to diffuse the unexpected and uncomfortable tension between them. Satoru had not anticipated this reaction from Suguru. He was uncertain if this was a good sign or not.
Did it bother Suguru to be seen as brothers? And if it did, was it because he loved Satoru romantically too? Or was he simply disgusted by the idea of anything deeper between them, regardless of what it was?
“No?” Suguru tilted his head, his features looking more genuine, as confusion and curiosity took over.
“I don’t think of you as a brother, and I don’t want you to think of me as one either.”
“I don't see you as a brother, and I don't want to, Satoru,” Suguru confirmed. Suguru’s face remained neutral. He seemed to be fighting to keep his face from reacting, which intrigued Satoru.
“Good. Cause… this would be very awkward if you did,” Satoru said, in lieu of confessing directly.
“Why would it be awkward?” Suguru questioned. Satoru could see that Suguru was actively considering the context of their conversation to try to answer his own question.
“Because…” Satoru tried, feeling his face reddening, as he choked on his words.
Suguru was looking at Satoru closely, scanning his face looking for something, and when Suguru found it, Satoru was amazed to see a brilliant smile overtake Suguru’s face. He had rarely seen Suguru smile so joyously, “Oh,” Suguru said breathlessly as he continued to stare at Satoru in awe. "Go on, Satoru,” Suguru said encouragingly, squeezing their joined hands.
Satoru felt himself blush even deeper in response, which seemed to delight Suguru even more, “Cute,” Suguru remarked.
And Satoru had to cover his eyes with his other hand. He could not believe Suguru had called him cute. He wanted to hear more, and yet he knew, he had to follow through and finish what he had started. Suguru had as good as told him he liked him back.
Satoru took a breath, removed his hand, and forced himself to look Suguru in the eye, and was met with amethyst eyes radiating happiness. Suguru’s encouraging expression helped Satoru feel brave.
“I love you, Suguru. And just to be clear, I mean that in a very gay and romantic way. I want to kiss you, and go on dates with you, and be your boyfriend, and have sex with you, and if I’m lucky, maybe even be your husband one day,” Satoru was blushing profusely now. He knew it had spread down his neck and chest. He was not sure he had ever blushed this much in life. His heart was beating so fast he could hardly hear himself think.
Suguru was blushing now, too. His mouth slightly parted in surprise at Satoru’s outburst, before smiling again at Satoru, and gently saying, “I love you, too, Satoru, also in a very gay and romantic way,” Suguru laughed as he pulled Satoru into his arms, lightly kissing the side of Satoru’s head, before continuing, “and I want to kiss you, take you on dates, be your boyfriend, have sex with you, and marry you, too.”
“For real?”
“Yes, for real.”
“Wow, I did not expect this outcome,” Satoru was gobsmacked.
“You thought that the more likely outcome was that I see you as a brother? Really, Satoru?” Suguru's expression was slightly judgmental, though fond.
“I don’t know, Suguru! I was scared, ok?”
“You were scared?”
“Yeah, I didn’t want you to stop spending time with me if you found out and didn’t feel the same.”
“I’d never.”
“I know, but still… you’re the most important person in my life. I’d rather have you than not, even if it isn’t how I want.”
“You’re my most important person, too, and I want you so much, Satoru. I’ve wanted you for so long,” Suguru leaned against him, lips lightly brushing Satoru’s neck as he spoke. Satoru felt like he was on fire. He never wanted Suguru to stop touching him or talking to him like this.
“Have you?” Satoru gulped, trying and failing to reign himself in, as Suguru kissed up his neck and along his jaw.
“Yes, don’t you know how beautiful you are?” And Suguru nuzzled him. Satoru was never going to recover from this. In fact, he never wanted to. He could live with ongoing heart palpitations and a permanent blush if it meant he would be praised and cuddled by Suguru.
“Of course, I’m gorgeous, Suguru,” Satoru said cockily, then with more vulnerability than he meant to expose, he quietly asked, “Is that why you like me?”
“While it’s one of the reasons, I love you, it’s definitely not the only one nor the most important. I love you, because you’re Satoru. I love how you love Digimon and use it to understand cursed techniques. I love the devotion you have to the betterment of jujutsu society. I love how much you love sweets. I love that you’re stubborn. I love that you make me stronger and better.”
And Satoru could not stop the lone tear that shed. He felt exposed as Suguru tenderly whipped his tear away, then softly kissed the spot where it had landed on Satoru’s cheek, which instantly led to a second and third tear falling in response. Satoru felt too exposed. He tried to respond, but felt his throat tighten.
“It’s okay, Satoru,” Suguru said reassuringly, running his fingers through Satoru’s hair. Satoru closed his eyes. They stood quietly together, embracing. Satoru started to feel at ease once more, and he decided to shift his focus to something less emotionally charged.
“I can’t believe Shoko was right. She guessed that you liked me back, and she got me to agree to confess to you,” Satoru shook his head, smiling at Suguru.
Suguru tilted his head in confusion, “What do you mean, Satoru? Shoko already knew about my feelings for you. I told her I was in love with you at the end of school last year,” Suguru said slowly, “And I’ve been hitting on you for ages.”
Satoru stared at Suguru in shock, and then started to laugh. Suguru looked at him with concern, which only made Satoru laugh harder. He attempted to speak, but burst into laughter again.
He had been had. Satoru should have known to never bet against Shoko, especially not with cigarettes on the line. He could not bring himself to be upset, he was too damn happy. Plus, he knew this was her, albeit odd, way of showing support. It would not be a hardship to provide her with cigarettes. In fact, Satoru felt she deserved it for being patient with both of them and for pushing Satoru to end their combined suffering.
“Are you okay, Satoru?”
“Yeah, I just owe Shoko big time,” Satoru said fondly, leaning against Suguru, who pulled Satoru tighter against him. Satoru felt a thrill shoot through his spin at the increased proximity.
Satoru leaned his head against Suguru’s, then turned and placed a kiss on his cheek. Satoru delighted in seeing blush spread across Suguru’s face in response to Satoru. He wanted to make that happen as much as possible. The light pink contrasting with the amethyst notes in his eyes was both stunning and delectable. Satoru leaned in again, kissing directly under Suguru’s eye, then moved to his kiss his nose, then his forehead.
“Satoru,” Suguru sounded embarrassed, yet looked immensely pleased.
Suguru leaned forward, and boldly pressed their lips together. Satoru wanted to scream in delight, yet refrained. He channeled that energy into kissing Suguru back. Suguru’s lips were soft and delicate against his own. Suguru tasted like cherry. Satoru had never tasted anything as sweet. He never wanted to taste anything except Suguru’s lips against his own.
Screw buying cigarettes until graduation, Satoru was going to have to buy Shoko a lifetime supply as thanks.
----------------------------------------------
That evening, when Shoko entered her dorm, she found a beautifully wrapped gift. There was a note on top, with the words “thank you- expect more soon” written out in what she knew was Satoru’s best penmanship.
Shoko opened the box, eyebrows rising in surprise. Satoru had purchased 8 packs of her favorite cigarettes, which were so expensive that Shoko could only purchase them on special occasions, like her birthday. She had expected the generic brand she typically used. She was touched that Satoru clearly paid more attention than she gave him credit for.
Shoko cracked open her window and pulled out her lighter, feeling instantly at peace as she took her first inhale, the smell instantly flooding her nose and calming her senses. She smiled.