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"Yinyue, are you joining?”, the man with wrinkles and a deep voice was ever so handsome with his white hair neatly tied up and held together by an exquisite hairpin. The deep eyes always held a gentle yet teasy smile capturing Dan Feng’s attention and heart since the first time he met that gaze. “..yinyue?”, the man leaned down and whispered in Dan Feng’s ear, “Are you listening or not?”
Now finally, Dan Feng was pulled back to reality, “What did you say?” he looked at the man closing in on him. They were at their house’s courtyard taking a leisurely stroll after breakfast. — Yingxing sighed dramatically, “Now that I’ve grown old you don’t even listen to this old man..”
Under Dan Feng’s glare Yingxing nonchalantly continued speaking nonsense, “Truly what those who write about the high elder’s tastes are correct—” Dan Feng hooked his arms around Yingxing’s neck, making the taller man bend even closer, “Stop messing around, what were you asking me just now? I was distracted"
“Messing around?", Yingxing broke into a grin and pulled Dan Feng closer by the waist, his hands ready to slip into the High Elder's robe any moment, “Should I show you how to actually mess around?”
Dan Feng could never get used to this man’s height. The first time he met Yingxing, Dan Feng was clearly taller than him, but a few decades passed by and he was more than a head shorter than Yingxing. But before the sense of nostalgia could even settle in, Yingxing's mischievous hands lifted him up by his waist, “What are you doing!", he yelped.
“Messing around", Yingxing chuckled.
Dan Feng manifested his tail and wrapped it around Yingxing’s waist tightening his hold on the other man, their bodies pressed together to the point one could hear the other’s heartbeat and finally Yingxing replied, “Okay, I'll tell you.", he used one hand to caress the tail wrapped around his waist and the other to perfectly hold the man in his embrace, “Jingliu said some outworlders mentioned about a boat racing festival and she is bringing Baiheng and Jingyuan along with her. She wanted to see if you are going”
Dan Feng furrowed his brows, he also heard talks of this custom that was followed in a faraway place— on the fifth day of the fifth month, they celebrate a festival called dragon boat festival. And the Luofu suddenly got excited about the idea and wanted to conduct a boat racing festival too. But, Dan Feng looked at the man holding him up, Yingxing's face held a mischievous smile as if he had some other thoughts he wanted Dan Feng to guess, and Dan Feng obliged, “What did you say?"
Yingxing’s lips curved in a smile as he cornered Dan Feng against a wall and his lips fell on Dan Feng’s pointed ear, “Me..? I just wish to spend my days with you in quietude.” Like hell did he wish! Dan Feng knew more than anyone how much Yingxing loved to enjoy the festive occasions, especially in recent years.
But it looked like Yingxing was determined to mess around with him today. Dan Feng asked, “So, how about the old take rest at home today, I'll meet up with Jingliu to see what fun things they are upto”, if Yingxing wants to let him run in circles, then he also was determined to not give up soon.
He pushed Yingxing away, but Yingxing immediately grabbed his hand and laughed out loud, “how heartless, yinyue..",
With that, the teasy smile at the corner of his eye disappeared and a gentle smile surfaced on Yingxing’s face making Dan Feng’s heart skip a beat. It wasn't the first time he had seen that expression on this arrogant man’s face before but each time it made Dan Feng lose himself in that gaze.
If others looked at him with reverence out of fear, then Yingxing gazed at him with a devotion born out of love.
Next moment, Dan Feng noticed the silk thread made of five colors wrapped around his wrist. Yingxing tied it quickly and bent down to place a kiss on his wrist, quietly caressing Dan Feng's wrist with his thumb, “Truly, everything looks good on you"
Dan Feng’s pointed ears twitched and painted a red blush on its tips as he looked at Yingxing questioningly. Yingxing gave him a mysterious smile, “Everyone talks about the boat racing festival but, let me tell you a secret that nobody else knows", Yingxing leaned down to whisper in Dan Feng's ear, “The dragon boat festival is not just limited to boat racing. One of the outworlder told me that making a thread out of black, white, red, yellow, and green colors and wearing it would ward us from evil spirit”
Dan Feng continued to gaze into Yingxing's eyes, his expression inscrutable. He has lived with Yingxing for more than 20 years but this man still managed to take him by surprise. A thread to ward off evil spirits.. something that was probably made only for little kids yet.. this man insisted on making it for the High Elder of the Luofu.. If others heard, they would probably think of it as a joke but Dan Feng knew it was Yingxing's way of making up for the regrets of Dan Feng’s childhood — having a family.
A family that was full of warmth – a bright smile that melted the cold edges of the high elder formed through the centuries of lonely reincarnations.
Yingxing pressed a kiss to his forehead, “Have a long and safe life, unplagued by disasters", a long life.. that was probably a given considering he is the high elder of vidyadhara. But he would try to be a little more safe for Yingxing's sake then.
Dan Feng looked up into Yingxing's eyes, “Where is one for you?"
Yingxing couldn't help but smile, “As long as you're safe, aren't you going to protect me?" Dan Feng was unconvinced but Yingxing didn't give him a chance to retaliate as he captured Dan Feng's lips within his, the intense kiss lasted until Dan Feng's eyes grew hazy and Ren left him breathless to retort. All he could feel is being held up by this man as Yingxing whispered, “Before we go watch boat racing, let me show you the second secret I learnt! A dish called zongzi. Authentic and home made. You won't get it anywhere else"
Dan Feng nodded still in a daze. Yingxing couldn't help but chuckle, “Remember, it's our secret too!"
How Dan Feng wished, this would be his last reincarnation, so that he could guard these secrets all to himself instead of being a helpless third person watching these memories without the heart that was nourished by this person's warmth throbbing to steal this man from the hands of the God of death.
— A piercing pain shot through Dan Heng’s chest as the bamboo leaves in his hands almost slipped. He rubbed his wrist frowning at the absence of the thread that Yingxing made for him. It was childish really, afterall, how many years have passed since then? How many little secrets that belonged to Dan Feng and Yingxing does he actually know..? Or how much little guarded secret does he deserve to know?
“Are you okay, Dan Heng?", Luocha called out worried, looking at Dan Heng stumbling.
“I'm sorry”, Dan Heng shook his head still in a daze. Today morning when he was taking a stroll on Luofu he met Luocha who invited him to make a special dish called zongzi, something that was outworlder’s custom. But Dan Heng did not expect that a casual encounter would trigger one of the memories from the past— much less a memory that was associated with Yingxing.
His heart felt restless. He could feel a gaze from afar, a gaze that barely ever leave him alone to the point he would start feeling uneasy without it following him.
He knew Ren was watching from afar. But.. does he remember? If he remember, what would be thinking right now? Would he hate Dan Heng for prying into what was Dan Feng and his precious’ memory? Or would he hate Dan Heng for not remembering it earlier.. or would he hate him for losing the precious bracelet..? Even Dan Heng felt ridiculous at his own thoughts.
But before he could realise he was standing before a shop, with a five colored thread in his one hand, a zongzi on the other.
Dan Heng took a deep breath— he used to never act on impulse but each time he has lost his composure or acted on impulse seemed to have something to do with Ren.
He wanted to return the zongzi to Luocha and act like this didn't happen.. that was the most logical way of doing things. With that, he turned around but he immediately crashed into a familiar yet strange embrace, his wrist was immediately held and he could hear Ren’s mocking tone from above, “Where are you running, Yinyue Jun."
Dan Heng had no other choice but to look up at the man who seemed completely devoid of the gaze that held nothing but affection once, in the depths of the eyes all he could see was burning resentment that left the words he wanted to say die in his throat.
“For me?", Ren asked.
“No", Dan Heng instinctively refused.
He was scared. Scared to be rejected, to be mocked, to taint what was the most precious memory with their crude copied version of mockery.
But Ren didn't let go, his lips curving in a smirk, “Yinyue, your eyes have already given me the answer"
Dan Heng was flustered as Ren leaned down and brought Dan Heng’s hand to his lips to take a bite from the zongzi. Ren did not remember how it tasted back when Yingxing made it for Dan Feng but looking at Dan Heng’s expectant but hesitant look calmed down even his flaring mara a little.
Dan Heng lowered his eyes, thoughts unreadable. It was fine, he bought it for Ren afterall. But the five colored thread.. Dan Heng just decided to go for broke as he grabbed Ren’s wrist and tied the thread around his wrist, earning him a questioning look. Dan Heng’s cool fingers wrapped around Ren’s wrist still unwilling to let go, he could feel the scarred skin beneath but all he could pray is this thread could ward him off potential dangers even if it's only a little.
Ren couldn't help but chuckle. Isn't this a bit ridiculous? He has died under this man’s spear multiple times. He has been cursed to live long, this body itself was the greatest evil, what could a little thread do?
But when he looked at Dan Heng's eyes filled with unspoken yearning for the past, those mocking and cruel remarks didn't leave his throat. A surge of familiar warmth filled his heart, as he turned around to walk away.
Suddenly Dan Heng spoke up, “Ren”
Ren stopped in tracks to look back.
“Its our secret"
I've kept it a secret.
Let's keep this our secret, as long as we could.