Chapter Text
Your name is John Egbert and holy fuck band. You are a squad leader in your high school’s marching band. You play the clarinet, THE MANLIEST OF ALL THE INSTRUMENTS. You only joined because your dad said you need physical exercise; you’d much rather be at home playing the piano. Unfortunately, your football team is doing well again this year. Damn. If Dave Strider weren't in the football team, you wouldn't be in this predicament. If the team continues on this path, they will definitely be in playoffs! All of the saturdays! All of them! Gone! Wasted on douchebags called the football team. It’s like a big romantic date in which both sides hate each other. But Whatever. Band problems.
In any case, Dave Strider is the biggest douchebag of the all. The all ruling leader. His reflexes are known throughout the whole school and county. He is a mini legend...bastard. He moves with lightning fast speed; once he gets the ball, no one can ever catch him. It’s the worst.
He probably doesn’t know anything about you. The two of you share an AP Bio class, which you don’t know why he took really. You’re pretty sure he’s failing. You work hard to get your grades and he can get away with anything cause he is amazing at football. You refocus your attention to the game. Currently its almost second quarter and he is pretty much owning the other team. They are about to score again and the score is already 7-28. But for now though it’s almost half and you just wanna get through this.
Half time has officially started, and you walk out onto the field.This band isn't an easy one to be in. High step marching takes awhile to get used too, but you gotta admit it looks damn good on camera. Not too mention your legs; shit they’re toned. Your dad made you join the Marching Band in 9th grade for exercise so you guess you’ve never known what other people think about it and how it works? It’s actually pretty easy! Once you know all the different moves, it’s not that bad. The song you’re marching doesn't have anything tricky, just your standard FM8 and SL8 maybe some RP8 in this bitch. All in all, the show runs pretty smoothly. You get off the field and back to bleachers. Now its time to relax and find jade!
“Jade!”
“Hi John! how did halftime go for you?” She looks at you with those bright green eyes. People Might think you guys were related if it weren't for those. You have the same 2 front teeth and the same black hair. But you guys are just best buds.
“It went ok...my freshman missed a turn, but its no biggy. Not the end of the world or anything!”
“I’m glad it’s over anyway! Now I can finally have some fun!” Jade smiles, but it is difficult sometimes for her. She’s the senior squad leader. Basically she and one other person lead the band with the directors, and it might not be bad if it weren't for two problems. One, the band director is absolute shit; she makes life awful. Two, Karkat Vantas the other senior squad leader. He’s the biggest douche ever, he even hates Nic Cage for some reason! But you can never tell if Jade is happy or angry to see him (which is all the time basically because of band).
“Yeah! You wanna go get some concessions or something?”
“Yesss! I’m soo hungry! Let’s go get some stuff for our squads and sit together!”
“Sweet! I’ll meet you in the Alto section”
“I love wieners”
“Johhhn nooo!” Jade laughs. “Hot dogs are delicious don't do that! Haha!”
“Thats what I mean; they’re soooo goood...” Well they are good! You shove the hotdog in your mouth slowly. Eating them seductively always gets Jade.
“John you’re always saying how you’re not a homosexual but you’re not making a good case for yourself” Why does everyone think that?
“I’m not a homosexual”
“You are for Nic Cage!” damn she’s got you there! Nic Cage is the best though!
“Thats hardly comparable! Nic Cage is the best! Have you seen Con Air!?!”
“Yes! I’ve been over to your house before john!” You want to rebuttal but her phone is going off again. Probably Karkat again.
“What is he messaging you about damn”
“Here just look”
CG: WHAT THE LIVING FUCK ARE YOU DOING
GG: go away fuckass! i’m talking to john
CG: HA! NOW I AM LEADER
CG: THE LEADER
CG: IS FUCKING ME
CG: I AM GOING TO ROCK THE COCK OF THIS BAND TO GLORY
GG: eww
CG: BUT REALLY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU
CG: HARLEY
CG: ATTENTION HARLEY
CG: HOLY FUCK THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME
GG: karkat!
CG: YOU ANSWERED ME I DON’T BELIEVE IT
CG: IF YOU COME BACK OVER HERE YOU CAN STAY MY SECOND IN COMMAND
GG: oh great
CG: FUCK YOU OFFER RESCINDED
CG: ALL THE SHITTY WOODWINDS CAN SUCK IT
CG: TRUMPETS ARE MADE FOR LEADERSHIP
CG: WHAT NOW
CG: HA NOT EVEN RESPONDING BACK
CG: I SEE HOW IT IS
CG: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK
CG: WHERE ARE YOU ANYWAY FUCKING SAXES?
CG: OH THERE YOU ARE
CG: WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK IS EGBERT DOING WITH THAT HOT DOG
CG: HARLEY
You remove the hotdog awkwardly from your mouth and look down to see Karkat staring at the both of you. Oh man does he looked pissed. But then again, when doesn’t he? He then continues to flick you off. You turn and see Jade has returned the favour. What an odd couple.
“So does Liv know you two are...” You start to make a rude gesture with your hands.
“SHHH! Stop yelling! I don’t want people to find out! Especially the band director! And whatever you’re trying to gesture with your hands, stop doing that too! It’s totally not like that...” You will probably never understand those two. It took you completely by surprise when she told you they were fucking.
“John! We are not fucking!”
“Huh? I never said that!”
“You’re still doing the hand thing...” You look down. Your hands are still awkwardly having sex. “Oh...”
“Put your hands down John...” Maybe one month is too early for that...
As predicted, the team wins the game, courtesy of a certain insufferable prick. Now that the game is over, the band goes through its normal winning procedures. You have to play a few songs for them and head back to the school. At the school, you get undressed and holy jesus thank god too. The uniform is just awful to wear. You finally get changed and are heading out.
You wave in jades direction. “See ya Jade!”
“See ya later, John!”
On the way out of the building, however, you spot someone. Two people actually, it looks like Rose lalonde and?..Dave Strider? Oh, Rose is probably interviewing Dave for the newspaper. Since the football team is getting close to playoffs, it’s understandable. Rose is very dedicated to her work in the newspaper. As Editor in Chief, you suppose she should be. As you get closer, you can hear more of what they’re saying. It sounds like rose is asking about the game. Dave is saying that the team did great and how well they worked together. Cocky bastard. You know he thinks he won the game; that he is the best. What a douche.