Chapter Text
Exer was sure he’d lost his mind.
That was the only explanation as to what he was about to do right now.
He sat idly in his room, with a pen, a notebook and guitar.
He’d written songs before. It was something he liked to do every so often, especially when he was younger and first learning how to play.
Rarely would he ever write songs he intended others to hear. He’d written joke songs for some family gatherings once, but that didn’t count.
This time he was intending on singing this song on a stage, in front of people, for someone in particular.
He had a vague idea of how to go about this. He’d sing the song, and when it was over, he would obviously get asked who it's about, and he would keep it a secret, unless that someone was the one to ask. Then he’d confess, and if he was lucky, it would all be okay.
“Should be simple enough, right Lucy?” He pet the cat softly.
She just meowed in response.
He sighed and got to writing.
“Years ago when i was younger, i kinda liked a boy girl i knew”
He was singing this on stage, he reminded himself.
He switched around lyrics to make sure that he didn’t accidentally reveal to the entire student body that, surprise! He had a very gay crush on his very much male best friend instead of a girl. that would just end horribly.
He knew David would ask him who the song was for.
He wanted him to ask.
He wanted to shout on that stage that he loved him. But he couldn’t.
He’d danced around the idea of telling him multiple times. He had a hunch that Brenda could tell, since she’d even asked him what he thought of gay people one random day at work, which looking back was kinda funny.
Speaking of Brenda, he had to ask her for help.
He knew she had some knowledge on how to play the piano. He also wanted to ask Pamela and Ron for help, since he was sure Pam played the violin, and Ron had mentioned going to classes to play the drums when he was younger.
Right now he had to focus on finishing the lyrics and a melody.
He rhythmically tapped the pen on the page, trying to come up with what to say. He felt kinda silly for writing a love song, but he wanted to do it regardless.
Lucy just sat next to him, looking at the boy with as much understanding as a cat could give.
The pen was yanked out of his hand with a green glow, and suddenly his attention was on Lucy, who had gotten up to walk to the other side of the room.
She let the pen fall on top of a dresser.
“Hey! What was that for?” He said, standing up to retrieve the pen. All she did was look back at him, nothing but mischief behind her eyes.
“I’ll be taking this,” he told her. Taking the pen again he looked down at the dresser. It was quite messy, there were a bunch of school notes on top of it, random pieces of paper, a cup of water he wasn’t sure how long it had been there, a lamp, and a picture frame.
The photo in it caught his attention.
It was an image of him and David. Both of them were 9 years old, smiling bright as they hugged each other. Exer remembered that day.
It had been during the summer. They were at the beach. David’s parents had agreed to let him tag along with the Campbells for a few days. The photo had been taken right before they headed back home, both of them covered in sand, and David clutching a few seashells in his hand. It was one of Exer's favorite pictures.
He stared at it for a few minutes, thinking back on every instance in his life he knew would’ve been different had David not been there, and the more he thought, the more he realized how gone he really was.
Lucy meowed, snapping him back to the present.
The song.
He walked back to where he had left the notebook and immediately began to write.
—
The next day he walked into school undeniably nervous, though David didn’t ask him about it.
The talent show wasn’t until next week, but he was afraid his friends wouldn’t agree to help him, or worse, heavily question him about who the song was for.
David went to find Brenda, leaving Exer to walk alone. Right as he got to his locker, he saw just who he was planning on talking to first: Pam.
“Hey Ex! Good morning,” she said with a smile.
“Pam! Hi, I need to talk to you real quick-“ he said, wasting no time since he didn't know how soon David would return.
“Oh?” She questioned.
“Don’t worry, nothing bad, I just wanted to ask you something,” he clarified.
She smiled and nodded, giving him the opportunity to elaborate. He tried playing it cool as best he could. “So you play the violin right?” He finally asked.
“Yeah. I'm not amazing at it or anything, but yes,” she answered, raising an eyebrow, making it clear she knew there was a second part to the question.
“Okay, uh- so you know how there’s a talent show next week?”
She nodded again.
“Well… I wrote a song for Dav- uh. Someone, and I need help with some instruments- would you be okay with playing the violin?”
She smiled, and gave him a look of undeniable knowledge.
“I didn’t know you wrote music, that's so cool! And yeah I'm down with helping you,” she agreed.
As if on cue, David walked up to them, Brenda following closely behind.
“Hey guys!” Brenda beamed.
David opened his locker to retrieve some work for their first class, and Exer took the opportunity to quietly whisper to Brenda.
“Bren, I need to talk to you later, alone.”
“What's wrong? Is everything alright?” She whispered back.
“No no nothing bad don’t worry, I've already asked Pam, too,” he said. Brenda raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
“Okay, I got everything, let’s go,” David said, shutting his locker. Exer smiled at him and followed along on their way to their first class of the day.
—
During lunch, David left briefly to get a book from the library, letting everyone else be on their way, saying that he wouldn’t take long.
“Brenda, so I wanted to ask you something,” Exer began.
“Okay?” She said.
“You play the piano right?”
Her suspicious gaze softened, and she laughed.
“Yes, a little,” she chuckled. “Why did you want to ask me that privately?” She questioned. To be fair, Exer mentally slapped himself, he hadn’t intended on sounding so ominous over something so silly.
“Nothing, it's just that uh, I signed up for the talent show next week, and I wrote a song, but I wanted some help with other instruments,” he explained. He didn’t have stage fright, but the song in question made him all kinds of nervous, even when simply asking for help with it.
“Oh! Yeah Absolutely!” She answered enthusiastically. “What’s the song about?”
Ah there it was, the first person to ask him about it.
“Uh-“ he froze.
“It’s kinda embarrassing, but it’s for someone” he laughed anxiously.
“Wait, like a love song?” She said a little too loud. He nodded slowly.
“Who is it for?” She gave him the same look Pam had given him earlier.
He opened his mouth to say something, when he heard David call from behind them.
“I’m back, it took forever to find the book, I almost thought there were none left,” he said, holding up the book dramatically, like he’d just run across the sea to find it.
Exer laughed and looked at him fondly. His presence was enough to cheer Exer up, and it was no secret to anyone.
Brenda shifted glances between both of them, and smiled softly.
She didn’t say anything.
—
Finally there was Ron. He waited until after school, since he’d agreed to drop him off by the Smith’s store, given that he was helping out for the night.
David had left school with Brenda. Something about having dinner with their mom and aunt. Exer was undeniably bummed out at the fact that he didn’t get to drive David home today, but it gave him the chance to talk to Ron by himself.
As they approached the store owned by Jackson’s tíos, the car slowly came to a stop.
Ron had been talking about some sort of gossip he had overheard during science class when Exer interrupted him.
“Hey man, can I ask you something before you go?” He said, avoiding Rons all-knowing gaze. The taller boy just nodded and hummed.
“You said you knew how to play the drums, right? Do you mind helping me out with something?”
“Yes, I took few classes years ago,” he replied. “why?”
“So there is a talent show next week, and I need a few other instruments for this song I wrote. I already got Pam and Brenda to agree, so I was wondering if you would like to help me with the drums?” He smiled nervously.
If anything he was most afraid of telling Ron of all people, simply because the guy could read others well, it was kinda scary. Usually this didn’t worry Exer at all, Ron was an amazing guy, but he knew that if he told him what the song was about, let alone who it was for, he was cooked (mostly because he would never hear the end of it).
“Yes, I can help,” Ron agreed with a gentle smile.
As he opened the car door and hopped out, he looked back at Exer before giving him that look.
What was it with everyone looking at him like they could see right through him?
“Bye Exer, you tell me what the song is about later,” he said as he disappeared behind the doors of the store.
Exer sighed as he drove off. Was he seriously not subtle about it being for David? Or did his friends think the song was for someone else entirely?
He’d find out later. For now, he got his band, and all they needed to do now was rehearse.
—
They had agreed to meet up for their first practice that Saturday afternoon. The show was next Friday, which gave them about a week to prepare.
Exer and David usually hung out every Saturday, and this one was no exception. They’d agreed to meet up around five, which meant the group had about four hours to figure stuff out before David showed up at Exer’s home.
They’d asked for a rehearsal room at their school. Since it was the week before the talent show, they had allowed students to use equipment and the music rooms for practices outside of school hours.
This was great because Brenda’s piano was too large to move, and none of them owned drums for Ron to use.
As they all settled into their places with their respective instruments, Exer took the time to take out all his notes and music sheets.
“Here,” he said, handing them out to Pam and Brenda. “I tried my best to write the sheet music for your parts, but we can change stuff as we go.” he said, now looking for his lyric notebook in his bag.
“Sorry Ron, I have no idea how to write sheet music for drums, so you can take creative liberties with it” he chuckled, and Ron nodded.
Brenda’s eyes suddenly lit up and looked toward Exer.
“Wait! you should play it once, you know, by yourself, so we know what it sounds like with the lyrics,”
“yeah!” Pam agreed instantly.
Exer was sure he turned beet red at the idea, there was no hiding it. Where had his confidence gone? He was so sure of himself during the auditions for the musical, and then during the show itself. but playing a song to three people he trusted in a room made him want to hide in the center of the earth all of the sudden.
“Alright then,” he nodded slowly, handing his notebook to the girls, making sure he had the page with the lyrics open already. they didn’t need to see all of the earlier drafts that were even more incriminating to his situation. (note to self: dont use direct references to your friend’s nickname in a love song, you’re asking to get outed he thought).
He avoided looking at them as he picked up his guitar and adjusted his position to begin playing.
He took a deep breath to try and shake off the nerves, and played the opening notes.
Ron got up from the drums and walked over to where the others were sitting, leaning over to read the lyrics as well.
“Years ago, when I was younger
I kinda liked a girl I knew
She was mine, and we were sweethearts
That was then, but then it's true” he sang.
It still felt wrong to sing it with the changes he’d made specifically to avoid problems. it took every fiber in his being not to sing it as intended, to the boy he knew.
He made the mistake of looking up. Brenda and Ron were looking at each other with pure mischief in their eyes. And then there was Pamela.
She was looking at him head on. Her expression was soft, but knowing.
and she nodded at him. Exer couldn’t help but feel like his heart had dropped right out of his chest.
“I'm in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts
'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind
I'm already cursed”
This line in particular was personal to him. To any unassuming classmate it might sound cheesy, or maybe even a bit silly. But to him, it was his reality.
not many things phased him anymore. Having magic does that to you.
he’d kept too many secrets throughout his life. and he didn’t want to keep adding to that list.
“Every day, we started fighting
Every night, we fell in love
No one else could make me sadder
But no one else could lift me high above”
He took a few liberties with the second verse. ‘Every night we fell in love’. That was true for Exer, and he could only hope it was the truth for David too.
“I don't know what I was doing
When suddenly we fell apart
Nowadays, I cannot find her
But when I do, we'll get a brand-new start”
Exer decided to close his eyes for the remainder of the song. He didn’t need to look at them to know the look they were giving him.
As he sang the final chorus slightly louder, having gained back some of his confidence, he allowed himself to concentrate on the melody and the sound of the guitar, momentarily forgetting he wasn’t home, singing this to his Day.
playing the last chord, he opened his eyes again, raising his gaze towards his friends, who were in fact, giving him that look.
he swears he’s gonna see that look in his nightmares.
“That was amazing Ex!” Brenda spoke up first, full sincerity in her eyes.
Ron nodded enthusiastically, and Pam had gotten up to grab her Violin with a bright smile on her face.
“Thank you,” he looked towards the floor again.
It was strange. The look they gave him was both comforting and nerve wracking at the same exact time.
Part of him felt understood, and the other felt like he’d been caught, despite having been the one who willingly showed them the song.
He almost didn’t notice Pam walk up to him, violin in hand.
“i think he’ll love it”
Abort mission. Sound the alarms. He was so cooked.
“Who?!” is all he managed to say, though it sounded more like a panicked squeak than a word.
She chuckled, before opening her mouth to reply, and ultimately deciding against it. She walked over to Brenda to look over the sheet music, while Ron was figuring out how to go about the beat.