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If there's one thing Kunikuzushi's learned about the people of Natlan, it's that the expression "holding back" is not a part of their vocabulary.
He wasn't sure what to expect when he first heard of this "carnival". Sure, he was aware of what it entailed on paper – a religious ceremony that later evolved to become more of a festival, nine days spent dancing and feasting to your heart's content. Perhaps the problem is that when he heard the word "festival" all he could really think about were Inazuma's festivals, and while those definitely allow people to loosen up a little they're still relatively... tame.
This carnival, though? It's one of the most chaotic experiences of his life, and he's been in the Abyss.
There's just... so many people, all doing their own thing; even walking down the street without bumping into anyone is virtually impossible. Wherever he looks there's people running through the streets, singing, dancing, holding onto each other as they make loud conversation, basically screaming every word. Some are dressed fairly modestly, with colorful fabrics and wooden jewelry hanging from their necks and wrists; but then there's the performers and their extravagant outfits, the winding tattoos, the large feathers, the bony structures resting around their bodies like armor or on their heads like crowns, their dyed hair twisted into hairdos that seem to hold themselves together out of sheer force of will and a complete disregard for the laws of physics. Then there's the Saurians, some relatively composed and elegant, others barreling through the streets with explosive joy, uncaring of who or what they might run over.
And then there's the music, the sharp flutes, the guitars, the violins, the drums booming all around them, as loud and overwhelming as clapping thunder, and he swears that what he's listening to is the city's very own heartbeat, echoing in every street and every corner and every single person's body. It sings through him, nearly making him shiver in excitement. He feels so... alive.
But then there's a particularly loud boom, almost like fireworks going off, and the hand wrapped around his forearm tightens reflexively. Kunikuzushi shakes his head, then turns to focus his attention on the man clinging to him. "You alright?"
Kazuha offers him a small smile. "I'm fine, my love," he says quietly, and then immediately contradicts himself by wincing at the sound of his own voice. "I just... need a moment. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, just take it easy for a bit. We'll find a quieter spot."
Kazuha dips his head into a nod, his shoulders jumping up to his ears when someone nearby whoops loudly. Kunikuzushi glares at them (although he goes completely ignored), then picks up the pace, leading Kazuha through the steep cobblestone streets. They make their way up the hill, in the opposite direction of the river of people headed to the valley, dodging people and Saurians as they go.
Thankfully, it doesn't take too long for the crowd to thin out. Kunikuzushi manages to lead them to a small park, nearly deserted other than for a food stall with a couple of people hanging around it. They sit down on a bench and Kazuha lets out a relieved sigh, his tense shoulders finally relaxing as he leans against the backrest. "Thank goodness," he mutters in a quiet voice.
Kunikuzushi moves a little closer to him, smiling when Kazuha leans his weight into him. "Better?"
"Hmm, yes... I'm sorry for dragging you away, Kuni, I really thought I could handle it..."
"Stop apologizing." Kunikuzushi tilts his head to press a kiss on Kazuha's temple, affection warming his chest when Kazuha lets out a content hum. "It's not your fault."
"But you wanted to enjoy the festival..."
"Yeah, with you, Kazuha, not in spite of you. Dumbass."
Kazuha giggles, wrapping an arm around Kunikuzushi's waist. The touch is familiar, and yet it burns just as it did the first time. Kunikuzushi doubts he'll ever get used to this. "Still. Thank you for putting up with me, my love."
Kunikuzushi can't help but laugh at that. "Seriously? After everything that's happened, I'm the one putting up with you? Compared to me, you're downright saintly, Kazuha."
Kazuha shakes his head with an amused huff but doesn't answer, simply holds Kunikuzushi a little tighter. He reciprocates the touch, pressing their legs together and raising a hand to play with Kazuha's snowy hair. For being the beginning of summer it's surprisingly dry and chilly, perhaps due to the altitude, so the presence of Kazuha's warm body pressing against his is more than welcome.
They stay like that for several minutes, looking down at the chaotic splash of color that is the city sprawling out below them. Eventually Kazuha takes a deep breath, nodding to himself with a quiet "alright".
"Ready to return to civilization?"
Kazuha chuckles, gently bumping his head against Kunikuzushi's. "Yes, I should be able to go back without being overwhelmed now. I was just... caught off-guard, I suppose."
"It's a lot, yeah." Kunikuzushi gets up, tugging on Kazuha's hand as he does the same. "You know what? Next time we're in Sumeru City, I'm asking that scribe about those noise-canceling devices of his. Those should help, right?"
Kazuha's lips part in surprise. "Well yes, I suppose so, but... I can't imagine they would come cheap."
This idiot. Kunikuzushi grabs him by the chin, forcing him to look at him in the eyes. "Don't be fucking stupid," he grumbles. He digs his fingers into Kazuha's squishy cheeks, making them puff out like a squirrel's. "You really think I care about mora when it comes to you? I don't care if they're expensive, it's– mmph!"
Kunikuzushi flounders as Kazuha surges forward to press his lips against his, his hands moving up to cradle his face. "I love you so much, Kuni, my muse," he says with a quiet laugh, sweet and warm as the dawn. "You like to act tough, but you have such a tender heart... hmm, like a cactus."
"Alright, I changed my mind. I hate you and you deserve nothing but the worst." There's absolutely no heat behind his words, and it makes Kazuha laugh. For once, Kunikuzushi can't help but chuckle alongside him.
"Oh!" Kazuha suddenly jumps up, his eyes widening. "Wait, your meeting! When is it?"
"Relax, we still have a couple of hours." Right, yeah, that's the whole reason they're here. He has no idea why a Fatui mole decided that a carnival would be the best time to exchange information, but such is life. He supposes the general chaos will make it easier to blend into the crowd, at least. "We can go back to the festival for a bit, if you want?"
"Mhm, that sounds good... oh, actually, do you mind if we stop by that stall first? I'm a little hungry..."
The rest of the afternoon passes by in a flourish of song, people, and laughter. Kazuha seems to have gotten used to the crowd, thank goodness, because soon enough he's striking up conversations and cooing at little Saurians like it's nothing. They bounce from stall to stall, buying food and trinkets and even a wide, colorful hat that Kazuha promptly places on his own head. "Now we're matching," he explains with a satisfied smile, and Kunikuzushi almost keels over right then and there. How is this man so cute?! He still can't believe this is real life, and that Kazuha actually... loves him. It's a little overwhelming, at times.
Those uncertain thoughts are chased away when Kazuha insists on dancing for a bit, drawn in by the rhythm of drums and an almost chant-like singing. Even without a blade in hand they both automatically fall into a sword-dancing routine, inadvertently drawing in a small group of performers that end up cheering them on and even forcing the two to teach them a couple of moves. He should feel irritated, logically, he's never been good with crowds and especially not ones as big and rowdy as this, and yet... other than the mild annoyance whenever someone bumps into him or screams into his ear, he's actually... enjoying himself. Maybe it's just Kazuha's calming presence at his side. Or maybe... maybe he's starting to change.
The thought isn't as upsetting as he thought it would be.
Unfortunately, though, the afternoon starts to bleed into evening and the time of his meeting draws closer and closer. He points it out to Kazuha, not without a great deal of reluctance, but the man simply nods and squeezes his hand. "Don't worry, Kuni, go do what you have to. I'll see you later tonight."
"Hm, okay... what are you going to do now?"
Kazuha raises his other hand, where he's holding several bags and a few colorful trinkets. "I suppose I'll go back to our room and leave these things there... oh, actually, give me yours too– alright, thank you." He lets go of Kunikuzushi's hand to grab the rest of their things, and Kunikuzushi tries very hard to pretend he doesn't immediately miss his touch. "And after that... oh, remember that tavern? That small one with the bell-shaped flowers growing in front of it?"
Kunikuzushi squints at him. "Yeah, I remember... Will you be alright?"
"I'll be careful, don't worry," Kazuha says with a warm smile and a nod. "I can handle myself, my love."
"I know, I know, just..." Kunikuzushi huffs, heat rising to his cheeks at Kazuha's affectionate gaze. "Try not to go overboard, alright?"
"I will." Kazuha leans in to peck his lips. "Have a good meeting. Stay safe."
"Hm, you too. See you later, Kazuha."
Apparently, dragging on meetings for way too long is a universal Fatui thing, not just a Snezhnaya thing. Kunikuzushi pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation as he finally, finally leaves the dingy bar behind after four hours – four! – when they really could have been done in two. But the guy just kept babbling on and on, and as much as Kunikuzushi could feel his patience waning it was still useful information. Ugh, whatever. He'll write the report and send it to Nahida tomorrow, he just can't be bothered to right now. His memory's perfect anyway, there's no risk of forgetting anything.
For now, he just wants Kazuha.
The tavern isn't too far, thankfully, although the streets are still absurdly crowded. Sure, there's slightly less people, but now most of them are drunk and Kunikuzushi really doesn't want to have to deal with this. He pushes through them, ducking below flailing arms and stray bottles. One goes flying over his head at some point, and if he weren't so focused on getting to Kazuha he definitely would have made whoever threw that regret it. As it stands, though, he simply shoulders his way through the crowd and into the tavern, heaving a deep sigh as the door swings shut behind him.
The tavern is... not as crowded as he feared it would be, but still chaotic. He wrinkles his nose at the sudden reek of alcohol and sweat. He doesn't know how Kazuha can handle it... although now that he thinks about it, he probably built a resistance while on the Alcor. Maybe traveling with pirates does have its benefits, after all.
He stands up on the tip of his toes, cursing his height as he starts looking for a familiar cloud of white hair. Before long, though, his view of the room becomes obstructed by a large shadow.
"Hey, are you Kuni?"
Kunikuzushi squints up at the mountain of a man in front of him, barely holding back from snarling at him not to call him that. "Yeah?"
"Oh good. Listen, your boyfriend's kinda... yeah." The man laughs heartily, as if "kinda yeah" was supposed to explain literally anything.
"Kinda what?" Kunikuzushi snaps.
A woman even taller than the first guy seems to pop out of nowhere. "Kinda fucking wasted," she booms as she wraps an arm around the guy's shoulders, the amber-colored liquid in her raised glass swirling dangerously. "Lemme tell you, your man's a riot! But yeah, go get him, dude's about to collapse."
"He's what?"
"Can't believe he got that drunk off of chicha..." A third person mutters, shaking her head. "Come on, I'll take you to him."
Kunikuzushi follows her braided red hair through the crowd, fighting to keep a cold wave of anxiety from flooding his chest. He's sure Kazuha's fine, but still... "Is he... alright?"
The woman turns to shoot him a look from over her shoulder, her previously serious expression softening. "He's pretty out of it, but yeah, he's fine. Don't worry, we kept a close eye on him."
He allows himself a sigh of relief. "Right, okay... thanks."
"Sure thing."
As it turns out, "out of it" is a bit of an understatement. Kazuha is passed out on a table, forehead pressed against the worn wood. His bandaged hand is loosely wrapped around a half-empty glass, which the person sitting next to him takes out of his limp fingers and downs in one go. Kazuha barely even stirs.
"People, I got Kuni!" The woman accompanying him yells, making everyone in the vicinity promptly turn to look at him with a mix of amusement and relief, some of them even cheering. How do they all know him? Has Kazuha... been talking about him? The idea makes something warm stir within him.
Pushing the feeling away for now, Kunikuzushi nods at the group, then goes to stand next to Kazuha and lays a hand on his hunched back. "Hey, Kazuha, come on," he says, quiet but firm. "Pull yourself together, it's time to go home."
Kazuha groans, then slowly raises his head. His eyes, unfocused and watery, wander the room for a few seconds. Then they land on Kunikuzushi, and they widen. Kazuha flushes violently, his lips parting in surprise. And then he just... stares, speechless, for several moments.
"Uhh... Kazuha?"
"You're so pretty..." the man whispers. He says it like it's a divine revelation, like some deity descended from Celestia itself just to relay this crucial piece of information to him. The intensity of Kazuha's gaze makes Kunikuzushi's ears heat up.
"Y-Yeah? Tell me something I don't know."
"So, so pretty..." Kazuha braces himself against the table and slowly sits up, his eyes never leaving Kunikuzushi's. "You're like... your eyes are like, like the starry sky... so full of– of secrets, they make me want to... drown in them..."
Someone laughs. Gods above, this man... "Drown? I thought we were talking about the sky," Kunikuzushi says with a chuckle, desperately fighting back an embarrassed blush. "When did we get to the sea, huh, Kazuha?"
Kazuha blinks at him, a quiet "ooh" slipping from his lips. "'M sorry. I think..." His eyebrows knit together, his expression turning focused. "I think your beauty is making it hard for me to think."
"I mean, I personally think it's the alcohol, but whatever you say, Kaz."
"Kaz..." The samurai's eyes widen, a blissful smile gracing his lips. "That sounds so nice... Say it again?"
"Hmm... only if you get up first."
Kazuha basically throws himself off the chair. Kunikuzushi scrambles to catch him, barely managing to wrap his arms around his waist before he can crash to the ground. "Oi! Careful, dumbass!"
"'M up..." Kazuha slurs against Kunikuzushi's side.
"No you're not," Kunikuzushi grumbles, moving his hands under Kazuha's armpits instead and dragging him up. "Come on, Kaz, get your shit together."
"Hehe... Kaz..."
"Need a hand, dude?" Someone pipes up.
"No, no, we're fine..." He shifts Kazuha around so that he's leaning his whole weight against him. "I know you can walk, don't make me carry you."
Kazuha whines, but does eventually manage to stand up straight. He loops his arms around Kunikuzushi's neck, staring into his eyes like they're the key to deciphering the secrets of the world. Clearly uncaring of their audience, Kazuha leans forward until their foreheads are almost touching. "Hey..."
"Yeah?"
"I think I really like you. Can you... can you please be my boyfriend?"
Kunikuzushi pauses as his brain tries to process the absurdity of what Kazuha just said. Once he does, he can't hold back a laugh; it's so stupid and yet so endearing that he swears he can feel his nonexistent heart flutter. That's why, even though they're surrounded by strangers, he gently takes Kazuha by the chin and presses their lips together. In the background, several people whoop and whistle.
When they part Kazuha's blush has somehow grown even more violent, his face nearly the same color as the streak in his hair. "Y-You... ah..." He swallows nervously, his wet eyes darting down to Kunikuzushi's lips. "Is... Is that a yes...?"
He acts so fucking stupid when he's drunk. Kunikuzushi loves him. "I'm already your lover, silly."
Kazuha gasps so loudly you'd think he just won the lottery. "Really?!"
"Really." Kunikuzushi can't suppress a fond smile at Kazuha's joy. With how proper and composed he always is, seeing his more... exuberant side never fails to amuse him.
Kazuha smiles giddily, nearly trembling in delight. "You're my lover!"
"I am."
Kazuha's lips clumsily crash against his own. Kunikuzushi chuckles into the kiss, then gasps when Kazuha sharply bites his bottom lip. Kazuha uses that opening to practically shove his tongue down his throat, letting out a satisfied hum as he presses their bodies together. Kunikuzushi freezes at the sudden onslaught, but forces himself to push Kazuha away before his instincts can win over common sense. Gods, his face feels like it's on fire... "Kazuha, we are in public," he hisses, raising a hand to cover Kazuha's giggling mouth. "Control yourself, you animal."
"Yeah, get a room!"
"Come on, leave 'em alone–"
Kazuha turns to the crowd, something hot and loud burning in his scarlet eyes. "He's my lover!" Kazuha proudly announces to the room. He's met with a slew of cheers and "damn right he is" and "good for you!"
Rarely has Kunikuzushi felt so embarrassed and so in love at the same time. "Alright, that's enough out of you," he mutters. Then, louder, he adds, "We're leaving, everyone. Sorry about him, have a good night."
Unfortunately Kazuha seems to have other plans, because as soon as they set foot outside the tavern his legs suddenly give out. Kunikuzushi groans, resigning himself to just carrying the man back to the inn. Just his luck...
"Need a hand?"
He turns, meeting the eyes of the red-haired woman who led him to Kazuha. "No, it's fine. I've got him."
"You sure? No offense, but you look pretty scrawny."
Kunikuzushi bites his tongue. No point in getting into a fight now. "I'm stronger than I look."
The woman snorts. "Yeah, okay. Whatever you say."
Kunikuzushi's tempted to lift the small Saurian sitting by the entrance just to prove a point, but ultimately decides manhandling Kazuha out of the way would be more trouble than it's worth. He instead grumbles a goodbye and lifts Kazuha over his shoulder.
"Say..."
"Ugh, what now? I'm a little busy, in case you hadn't noticed."
The woman raises her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, relax. It's just... well, this guy's been going on and on about you all evening, you know. When he was a little more coherent, obviously. It was all, Kuni's so smart, Kuni's so beautiful, and so on."
There it is again, that flutter where his heart should be. He's grown intimately acquainted with this feeling over the years he's spent with Kazuha, and yet it never ceases to surprise him. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." The woman smiles fondly and nods at Kazuha, who's now gently snoring into Kunikuzushi's neck. "He's... well, he's a good guy, and it's clear he's head over heels for you. It's good to see that the famous Kuni loves him just as much, you know?"
Is his affection for Kazuha really that obvious? It must be, because this woman is far from the first to point it out. It should make him feel exposed, but... it really doesn't. In fact, the emotion swelling in his chest really feels more like pride. "Yeah," he breathes out, and he's sure he must look like a lovesick fool, but for once he simply cannot bring himself to care. "Yeah, I do."
The woman nods approvingly. Then, her smile grows sharper as she leans in with a conspiratorial look. "All I'm saying is... if I were you, I'd give him a treat tonight."
"Alright, we're leaving!"
By the time Kunikuzushi locks the door to their room behind him, his ears are still burning. The gall of that woman... as if they could do anything with Kazuha in this state. He huffs to himself, then gently lowers Kazuha to the bed and removes his outerwear. Kazuha only stirs when he takes off his shirt, then promptly buries his head in the pillow with a groan.
Kunikuzushi barely bites back a chuckle. "You alright there, Kaz?"
"Hrmmgh," Kazuha mutters eloquently.
Kunikuzushi pats his head. "Hang in there."
"Head hurts..."
"I know, I know, I'll get you some water."
"Thanks... hmm, I have the sweetest boyfriend..."
Oh so now you remember, Kunikuzushi thinks with a smile as he fills a glass and then rests it on the bedside table. He helps Kazuha sit up, then gently nudges the glass into his hand. "Here. Slowly, alright?"
"Mhm..." Kazuha gulps down the water, then shoots him a grateful smile as he melts against the headboard. "You're so nice to me, Kuni... you're so cute..."
Okay, yeah, he's still drunk. Not that it's unusual for him to compliment Kunikuzushi, but he's normally more... articulate. "You're pretty cute yourself, Kazuha," he teases as he takes the empty glass from him.
The man giggles, leaning into Kunikuzushi's touch as he eases him down onto the pillow. "My boyfriend's so nice to me. I'm so lucky."
I'm the lucky one here, Kunikuzushi thinks with a fond smile as he brushes the hair from Kazuha's damp forehead. "You keep saying that," he mutters instead.
"Wha'?"
"Boyfriend. Don't you think it sounds a little... juvenile?"
Kazuha hums, contemplative, as his eyes briefly slip shut. "Husband."
"H-Huh?!"
Kazuha's eyes open again, innocent and honest. "Why not husband?"
Why not husband.
Why not–
"Kuni?"
Husband? Husband. Why not–
"Kuni..."
Kazuha's voice sounds dangerously wobbly. Kunikuzushi blinks, and that's when he notices the tears building up in Kazuha's eyes. Ah, shit.
"Do you... do you not feel the–"
"No," Kunikuzushi rushes to interrupt him, cupping Kazuha's face with his hands. "No, I mean yes, I... Kazuha, that's not it. I just... we never really talked about it, right?"
"But I want to," Kazuha whimpers as the first tears start to roll down his cheeks. "I want to call you my husband, Kuni."
Kunikuzushi wipes away Kazuha's tears with his thumbs, something in his empty chest twisting painfully. "Kazuha, we... we shouldn't be talking about these things while you're like this. You may not even remember our discussion next morning..."
"But–"
"Hey." Kunikuzushi leans in close, pressing his forehead against Kazuha's. "Kazuha, I'd love that. Okay? Honestly, I... you'd make me the happiest man in all of Teyvat."
Kazuha smiles then, slow and hopeful and warm. "I was afraid you wouldn't want to..."
"Huh? Why wouldn't I?"
"When we first got together, you were... scared." Kazuha leans into his hands with a soft sigh. "You were scared you'd get hurt if you got too close to me... since I'm mortal, and you're not. So I thought..."
Oh. Oh, Kazuha... "My heart, no. It's true, I was scared, but I haven't been for a long time now." He kisses him on the nose, making Kazuha laugh quietly. "To be honest, I can't imagine a life without you anymore. I'll always be by your side, regardless of what name or form our relationship takes. But if you want to call me your husband... well, I'd be more than happy to do the same."
Kazuha lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "Really?"
"Really." Kunikuzushi gently kisses him on the forehead, then again on the lips as he tucks him into bed. "But we can talk more about it another time, okay? Just rest for now. I'll be here."
"Okay..." Kazuha nuzzles his cheek into the pillow with a content sigh, his heavy eyes slowly closing. "I love you, Kuni..."
"I love you too, Kazuha."
Later, Kunikuzushi lies in bed, wide awake despite the late hour. His chest is resting against Kazuha's back, an arm wrapping around his lover's torso to rest his hand on his calmly beating heart. The conversation from earlier won't let him rest, tormenting his body with both an affectionate warmth and an excited chill. He squeezes Kazuha just a little tighter, pressing their bodies together until he's not sure where one ends and the other begins, drunk off of Kazuha's earthy scent and his scarred skin and his soft breaths and the comforting heartbeats under his palm.
"Yeah," Kunikuzushi whispers into Kazuha's snowy hair, and if he had a heart he's certain it would be pounding. "Why not husband?"
Unsurprisingly, and perhaps disappointingly, Kazuha will later have no memories of that night; but if Kunikuzushi quietly starts working on the blueprints for a pair of twin ceremonial swords, well... no one has to know just yet.