Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Six minutes after midnight. Everyone was awake and texting each other in the group chat, just to check up on everyone. Tyler didn’t remember how it started. Maybe Ben decided to check up on everyone in case they were hurt, or Aiden couldn’t sleep and waited for someone to talk to him. but no matter how it started, it was a part of their routine now.

Carrot Top
is everyone okay?

My friend the smiley
all good (:

First Aid Boss
I’m alright. Aiden might need rest tho.

My friend the smiley
rest it for hte weak

The good twin
I’m OK!
@My Friend The Smiley U good?

Sharp Shooter
all good here.
Aiden what the actual fuck.

My friend the smiley
wow uyo coud cuss. 

you
get an autocorrect.

My friend the smiley
HOE?

you
fuck did you call me?

My friend the smiley

HOW**
I MAENT HOW

you
I don’t have the energy for this. I’m going to sleep.
Night.

there was a string of good nights from everyone, then silence. Tyler never silenced his phone, in case of emergency calls. but it was very tempting (especially when Aiden would spam him until he played Mario Kart with him).

“Tyler?” he heard Taylor’s voice from her bed, just about ten minutes after the messages stopped.

“hmm?” 

“I’m scared.”

“C’mere.” 

hesitantly, Taylor got up and took her pillow and blanket with her as she sat on Tyler’s bed. After their dad died, Taylor couldn’t sleep alone. She always woke up from nightmares. so Tyler suggested she sleep in his bed, and he hugged her until she fell asleep. They stopped doing this for a while when Taylor felt better. but now, with everything going on… she deserved to sleep well.

He made some space for her and hugged his sister until her breath was steady. after a while of listening to the faint sounds of breathing, the crickets, and the air conditioner, he fell asleep too.

The sound cut through his head, terrifying and familiar. at first, he thought of the phantoms. is that what Ashlyn is hearing every night? 

as his mind slips back into consciousness, he finds that he is still in his room. Taylor is still in his arms. everything is still dark. it’s okay. everything’s okay. he’s just paranoid because of the phantoms.

but, then again, what was that sound?

he listened for a few seconds, still fuzzy from sleep until he realized it was his ringtone. someone was calling him. he didn’t recognize it at first since Aiden and Taylor kept changing his ringtones.

he got up as fast as he could, his leg was tangled in the blanket which made him fall. but he got up again, checking the contact. 

  Sharp Shooter is calling… 

why would Logan call him now? he checked the time. it was 3 AM. Did anything happen to him?

he answered the phone. “Hello? Logan?”

something was so awfully wrong. 

“yeah, yeah,” he finally heard Logan’s voice from the other side of the line. he let out a sigh of relief, even though it seemed like he was talking to someone else. 

“Logan, where are you?”

“‘m not sure…” he answered, slurring his words. 

“Are you okay? why did you call?” Tyler was desperate for an answer. he needed to help his friend, but it felt like he was left in the dark.

“I’m… I… I don’t know…” 

Tyler tried not to panic. “Stay where you are and don’t hang up. I’m coming to get you.”

“There’s music… ‘s loud.” 

“music? Are you at a party?” Tyler asked. 

“people. yes. a lot.”

“I’m on my way.” 

Tyler didn’t even bother to change his clothes. he felt a little stupid, getting to his car at three AM wearing shorts and a Spiderman hoodie he got from Logan. 

Logan said there were a lot of people and loud music where he was, so probably a party. Tyler was invited to many parties, given that he was on the football team. He never really liked parties even before the phantoms, and after the Savannah, he didn’t go at all. 

so, he had no clue where Logan was.

But he knew who did.

you
send me Logan’s location now.

Carrot top

🔻Location: Logan Fields 

why though?

you
later.

Tyler made a mental note to thank Ashlyn later for the Find My Friends app she insisted on having. 

according to the location she sent, Logan was in a house a bit far from his own home, but closer to Tyler. he wasted no time in getting there.

while driving, his phone was on his leg, so he could check up on Logan. 

“I’m almost there Logan. are you doing okay? how much did you have to drink?” He knew Logan would probably not be able to answer those questions, but as long as he got a reaction it was fine. 

“ah…. I don’t… remember?”

“It’s okay, I’m here.” he said as he saw a house full of teenagers and loud music. “where are you? are you inside the house?”

“backyard.” Logan sounded like he was in pain, which made Tyler run inside the house, ignoring anyone welcoming him or calling his name. he had to find Logan. 

“get me to the backyard,” he told a girl his age who seemed sober enough to help him. She directed him, and he thanked her and made his way across the crowd.

outside were a few people smoking together, a few people on a phone call, and some drunk people sleeping there. in the corner he found a boy, wearing beige pants and a buttoned blue shirt. he didn’t have his glasses, but the wild brown hair of the boy who bent over in pain was definitely Logan’s. 

He got to him, helping him up. “come on, Logan. I’m here. you’re okay.”

“I might vomit,” he warned, which made Tyler chuckle. 

“let’s get you out of here. parties aren’t our thing anyway.”

“I’m tired,” Logan said as they walked together to Tyler’s car.

“I know, I know. let’s get you to the car, Adorable.” 

did Logan blush Or was he just drunk and in pain? Tyler couldn’t tell.

“you think I’m Adorable?”

Tyler was definitely blushing. “Of course I do. Now get in,” he ordered Logan, opening the door for the passenger’s seat. 

Tyler sat next to him. right after he closed the car’s door, Logan threw up outside of the car. 

“ugh,” he complained, ignoring the concerned Tyler next to him.

“Should I take you to the ER?” Tyler asked.

“No, No, I’m fine…” Logan shut the door on his side. “I don’t want my grandparents to know. is it hot in here or is it just me?”

“It’s definitely you. but I’ll turn on the AC anyway.”

Logan pulled up his sleeves in an attempt to ease the heat, revealing two poorly bandaged arms he was bleeding through. 

Tyler tried to focus on the road, even though it was empty at that time. but still checked up on Logan from time to time. 

that’s when he noticed he was bleeding. 

“Logan?” 

“yeah?”

“your arms. tell me I’m wrong when I assume it’s your own doing.” Tyler’s voice was shaking. “please, Logan.”

Silence. 

“why?”

“I tried to stop, I swear.” Logan’s voice was fragile. “I tried so many times.”

suddenly everything made sense. “that’s why you were at that party? you thought alcohol would make you feel better or something?”

Logan didn’t answer. 

Tyler made a U-turn.

“what are you doing?” Logan asked, confused. 

“taking you to the ER.”

“But my grandparents-”

“you’ll have to tell them eventually. I’ll call Ashlyn if you think you’d be more comfortable with her parents.” Tyler suggested. 

“Isn’t it too late? I don’t want to bother them…” 

“Actually, it’s more of an early morning now. and they care about you, I don’t think they’d mind. Ashlyn’s awake anyway. she sent me your location.” 

Logan thought for a minute. “yeah, alright.”

“call her for me, please.” Tyler gave him his phone. “and put her on speaker.”

Calling Carrot top…

“Hello?” Ashlyn answered. She was probably waiting for him to call and explain everything. 

“you’re on speaker. I’m taking Logan to the ER. Could you and your parents get there right now?” Tyler raised his voice a bit so she could hear him.

“Mom! Dad!” he heard her waking them up. they waited a bit before they heard Mike ask “What happened? Is Logan alright?”

“‘m fine,” Logan answered. 

“No, he’s not. Meet us there, we’ll try and explain everything.”

when Tyler parked, he noticed Ashlyn’s parent's car was already there. they were waiting for them on a bench near the emergency room.

Logan held onto Tyler as if he was shying away. 

Ashlyn was the first one to notice them. She nudged her mom so she could see them too. 

“Hey Logan,” Emily greeted him. “I’ll get in with you, okay? Tyler, could you stay here with Ashlyn and Mike?”

“yeah, sure.” 

Tyler watched Logan as he walked into the ER with Emily.

Mike and Ashlyn decided to wait for him in the waiting room. He sat down next to Ashlyn and did his best to answer her and Mike’s questions. 

He told them how Logan called him, how he found him, and how he found out about Logan’s self-harm. 

“you did great, kid.” Mike smiled at him softly. “Logan’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

“I didn’t know he was feeling this bad. How could I miss this?” Tyler didn’t look at any of them. his pants started to get wet, and for a second he thought it might be raining until he realized he was inside the building and it was probably wet from tears. 

“You couldn’t know,” Ashlyn said quietly. “He didn’t want anyone to know.”

“I just wish I could help him.”

“you did,” Mike said. “you woke up at three AM to look for him, then took care of him, drove him to the emergency room, and called us. you did everything you could, now it’s the adult’s job to care for him. and for you, too.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, wiping his tears. 

Emily and Logan were back about forty-five minutes later, which felt like forever. Logan looked better, if a bit embarrassed, and patched up. 

“Do you guys want to stay at our place today?” Emily suggested. “you must be tired, you shouldn't go to school like that.”

“That would be great, Mom,” Ashlyn said before any of them could say anything. staying somewhere peaceful where he could watch Logan seemed great right now. 

“Let me text Taylor, she’d be worried if she woke up and I’m not there,” Logan opened his mouth as if he was going to say something.

“I’m not gonna tell her everything. I’ll say there had been an emergency and she, Ben, and Aiden could meet us at Ashlyn’s place after school.”

“Thanks,” he muttered. 

Emily decided to drive Tyler’s car back to his home while her husband took the exhausted kids home. Tyler was too tired to worry about that.

He sat next to Logan, who rested his head on the window. their hands found their way to each other.

Logan’s hands were freezing cold, but somehow it made Tyler feel a warm feeling in him. weird

Chapter Text

Ashlyn put down two cups of hot chocolate in front of them. Tyler and Logan sat on the couch, cuddled together. Logan dozed off, woke up then dozed off again for a while. But unlike him, Tyler couldn’t sleep.

He leaned forward a bit, trying to take one of the cups without waking up Logan. Ashlyn brought a cup of her own and sat down next to him without saying a word.

Tyler didn’t mind not sleeping, and he wouldn’t leave Logan alone until he got better anyway. 

“you must be worried,” Ashlyn tried to spark a conversation, which wasn’t her best skill. 

“‘course I am,” Tyler said without even looking at her. His eyes were fixed on the pained expression of the boy sleeping on his lap. he was usually so peaceful when he was asleep.  “I’d be worried just the same if any of you freaks were hurt.”

“No, this is different,” Ashlyn said. “How long?”

“Sorry?” Tyler finally looked at her. he put down his cup so he could brush his hand in Logna’s hair.

“How long have you two been dating?” She asked. “you know, like, together?”

“we’re not-” 

“Then you're stupid,” she said bluntly. 

Logan moved in his lap. he grunted in pain, and it broke Tyler’s heart a little. Despite the cold weather, Logan was sweating. He was still fuzzy when he decided he couldn’t keep sleeping and fixed himself into a sitting position, still very close to Tyler.

“How are you doing?” Tyler asked, stabilizing his friend with one hand. 

“horribly. Thanks,” Logan answered. 

“Do you need some painkillers? I can get you some.” Ashlyn suggested.

“yes please,” Logan nodded. 

When Ashlyn got up and walked away to get him the painkillers, Logan turned his face to Tyler. “How long did I sleep?” he asked.

“not nearly enough, after last night,” Tyler answered. “It’s almost three PM and the only sleep you got is dozing off a few times. The others will be here soon.”

Ashlyn got back with two painkillers in her palm and one hand handing Logan a glass of water. 

“Thanks,” Logan said and took the pills. 

“you’re welcome. Now never scare us like that ever again,” she answered. 

“I’ll try,” He smiled a small smile at her.

“Do you want to talk now?” Tyler asked. “I mean, you don’t have to but since Aiden’s gonna pry I thought you’d want to talk to us before he gets the chance.”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself.” Logan dismissed him. “I never really talked about it but since you already know…” 

“you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Tyler announced.

“‘s okay.” Logan took a deep breath, fidgeting with his fingers. He didn’t look at them while talking.

“After a year with Barron, I was… struggling. I got depressed and looked for a relief. That was cutting for me. I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. I tried to stop a few times but it never really worked.” 

He stopped talking as if he was regaining his strength. Ashlyn nodded at him to tell she was listening. 

“I know Barron won’t bother me anymore, but it really stuck out to me, y’know? I got so used to it, it fucked me up. Cutting didn’t help anymore so I tried something else. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be sorry,” Tyler said, ignoring the urge to bring Logan closer to him. “We’ll help you get better.”

“I don’t know if I can get better,” Logan admitted.

“That’s what we’re here for. I would much rather you’d wake me up to talk to me than to save you from yourself.” 

Ashlyn nodded. “you could also talk to me and Aiden. He has trouble sleeping and I usually stay up to help him with that. I know he seems like the last person you’d want to talk to, but he can be sweet when he wants to.”

as if on cue, someone knocked on the door. Ashlyn walked over to open it, revealing Ben, Taylor, and - behind a pile of pizza boxes - Aiden. 

Taylor put aside her and Aiden’s school bags, while Ben silently put down his, too, and took a bunch of boxes from Aiden before they fell off.

“What happened?” Taylor asked when she joined them in the living room. 

Logan looked at Tyler, asking for help. 

“Do you want to tell them?” Tyler whispered. 

“I don’t know… what if it’d be weird?” Logan whispered back.

“It won’t, I promise. We could help you together. but I’ll lie if you don’t want to tell them.” Tyler promised. 

“How about we give the love birds some space?” Aiden asked jokingly, and that’s when Tyle remembered Logan was still cuddled next to him, leaning on his shoulder. both their faces turned red.

Logan took a deep breath. “I… actually, Tyler had to pick me up from a party last night. I had too much to drink.” 

Taylor sat from the other side of Logan and held his hand. “I’m glad you’re okay now. I never took you for the partying kind.”

“I’m not. I was looking for an escape, I guess. I-” Logan looked at Tyler and Ashlyn, who nodded supportively at him. “I have a self-harm issue. Tyler took me to the ER yesterday.”

“I’m sorry, we didn’t know. we could’ve helped you,” Taylor said. “thanks for telling us!”

Ben nodded. he showed Logan his phone, gesturing for him to read it out loud. 

“I’m glad you told us, It takes a lot of courage to admit this out loud. I promise we will do anything we can to help,” Logan's voice was shaking when he read it. it was so heartwarming, that he didn’t even notice the significant look Ben gave Aiden. 

“Well, since I knew we would need something to cheer us up, I brought pizza!” Aiden lifted one of the boxes above his head as if that pizza was the most sacred thing known to humankind.

Logan was glad to have friends like that. they all ate the pizza and collectively decided to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine together.