Work Text:
"Senku?" You spoke out into the dimly lit room.
He was found toiling away at his desk, drawing what seemed to be what could only be the ten billionth iteration of a "new and improved" rocket blueprint he had been trying to create. Even though the only light source in the room had been a small table lamp, you could still clearly see the clusters of crumpled papers scattered across both his desk and floor.
You step into the room, carrying a pitcher of water and a glass to accompany it. Dark circles were found under your eyes as well, a remnant of previous nights. It wouldn't be surprising for someone to hear that you were no stranger to late nights like these, but tonight felt different.
"How long have you been here? It's four in the morning," you asked, pouring him a glass of water before setting the pitcher down on a more empty side of the table.
All he did in response was let out a small grumble. Was it since this morning? Yesterday morning? Or has it already three whole days since he's gotten some proper rest? Senku may be able to count a hundred billion seconds, but it's not like keeping the time was of any importance to him right now. All that mattered was perfecting this project.
You sigh, pulling up a seat next to him. You use your dominant hand to turn his head to face you, holding the glass in the other as an attempt to him to try and get him to drink.
"I know you don't want to hear it from me, but you need to take care some part of yourself if you're gonna be staying up this late.."
The boy rolled his eyes at you as he sipped from the cup he took from your hand. He hated it when you would make a good point about something. The fact that you always seemed to know what exactly he needed, though, was something that he hated even more.
"I don't need you to worry about me," Senku replied. A yawn quickly followed his sentence.
You narrowed your eyes at him.
"...If you say so."
You put the glass down next to the pitcher and walked away, leaving Senku to his own devices.
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University had been a weird time for the two of you. You've known each other for a long time before being roommates, and he didn't think that living together in a shared apartment would make the both of you so… dependent on each other. You always seemed to be the more outgoing one between them, and he assumed that he'd spend a lot of time alone at night. To his surprise, however, you always spent your nights at home.
There was a weird sense of comfort for Senku to know that you were the only person that saw every side of him. He would never say it out loud, of course.. But part of him wished that he could. There was nothing that actually stopped him from telling you, but the notion just seemed sickeningly sentimental for him. And that wasn't who he was. Or at least, that's what he'd tell himself.
He puts down his pen and leans back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose, before letting it go to run his fingers through his messy strands of hair.. Every line that he put down on his paper started to blur together, and the ink was starting to thin out. An all too familiar sigh. Usually he'd just get another pen, but it seems he's already used up all the pens he had left.
Ha, as if a lousy pen could stop him from making any more progress.
He begrudgingly takes a pencil and continues to write out equations to solve the irregularity with the volume of the fuel canisters in proportion to the energy consumed by the rocket's thruster. A simple thing to answer, but the lack of sleep had been getting to him.
Not that he would admit that to himself yet.
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You re-entered the study room Senku had made into his lab, holding 2 cups of instant noodles in your hands, as well as two pairs of chopsticks. You lightly tap his shoulder with the pork flavored cup noodles¹ and held it out to him, knowing it was his favorite.
Senku didn't know if he hallucinated it, but the way you looked at him felt more gentle than usual. He slowly took the cup from your hands.
"Aren't you tired?"
A bit of an illogical question for him to ask, as it was pretty obvious. But if you pointed it out to him, he would use his exhaustion as an excuse. Seeing you do such a gesture for him combined with this fatigue he's had for probably the past hour was slowly breaking down the walls he had been putting up. So much so, that, he wanted to add on the words "of me". Even a blunt guy like him knew that it wasn't the most appropriate to ask such a question though, so he decided against it.
"It's fine," you said, trying to brush off any worries Senku may have had about you. Despite having experience with all nighters, Senku took note of how your hands had a slight tremor in them. And when your expression relaxed, it seemed like your eyelids only sunk lower. He watched silently as you slowly opened your cup noodles.
"I'm more worried about you, Ishi."
Your voice was laced with concern as you looked at him, your brows furrowed. You move your gaze onto the table, his table cluttered with crumpled papers.
He kept quiet once more. It wasn't that he had nothing to say. He had a lot, actually. He knew it wasn't right that you would do all of this for him, especially when he hadn't even asked you to in the first place. So why was it so hard for him to say something about it?
Senku studied your disheveled appearance for a few moments, looking at the worry you had been struggling with showing through in every one of your features. His chest ached, and if someone were to ask him why, he would have no answer.
He lowered his head, staring at the cup noodles in his hand.
You slurped your noodles quietly. Or rather, as quiet as you could. It was also pork flavored, just like his. It was a bit funny that you two shared similarities in unexpected ways, even if you two were nothing alike. The food warmed your worn body as the conversation between you two went cold. Senku never liked small talk, and you were used to it. But this time, it felt like there was another reason.
Maybe it was because it was too heavy for either of their hearts to say anything. Maybe because they both didn't know what to say at all. Or maybe they both already knew deep down what the other wanted to say, and so just sat there in each other's company. Whatever it was, you felt tense.
Senku, on the other hand, found the silence strangely soothing. It wasn't often that he ate a meal with you when both of you had conflicting schedules, and it brought a sort of peace to him to know that you were here with him. He thought about your tired eyes, and it reminded him of his own lack of sleep. He knew what you both were thinking about. The only reason why you two were still up.
You place the empty cup down on the table, a small thud hitting the table. The disposable chopsticks you used laid inside, haphazardly split apart.
Senku slowly looked up from his cup, locking his eyes with you. He finally broke the silence and asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Why are you here?"
"Who would take care of you if I didn't?" You chuckled dryly, averting your eyes away from him. It didn't take long for you to reply, did it? You didn't like admitting it, but you felt best when you had a purpose. And right now, that seemed to be looking out for Senku—making sure he would take care of himself when he got too immersed in his work.
Of course, you had your own studies to worry about, but it was never a bother to you to balance both. You even took up a job working as a barista part time to get yourselves extra money, never telling Senku about it. He only found out when someone in his class had asked if he "knew the pretty person who worked at the local coffee shop."
When Senku reflected on the fact you had a job in secret, though, it only hurt him more to see you in your sorry state—your eye bags were heavy, and the subtle tremors you had still continued, which wasn't left unnoticed. The idea that you never mentioned it, all because you didn't want to worry him.
He remembered how just yesterday, or perhaps it was even the other day, where he woke up to find himself still on his desk. A blanket was placed over him, as well as a note placed on his desk telling him that there was leftovers for him to eat in the fridge.
Ha.. You really did care for him. And what did he do in return?
Your eagerness to answer and how you looked away instantly gave away to Senku how much you wanted to avoid the question. He already knew you were only still up because you wanted to look after him, and he despised it. Not only did you have no obligation, but why care for him when he had barely done anything back? Hell, he had barely even showered the past few weeks as he worked on this project. He compared himself to you, on the other hand, who had been balancing babysitting him with your own part time job and your own studies. To say he felt guilty would be a gross understatement.
He always had suspicions about your part time job, even before his classmate unintentionally informed him about it. In the nights that he would go to bed, he could hear your footsteps, shuffling around in the dark. The hushed sound of your morning alarms, and how you always came back home a bit later than when your classes ended, always at the same time. It was hard to sleep in without you around. He often wondered if you were doing okay in your morning shifts, and he wondered as well how you somehow were able to balance everything. He craved your presence without even realizing it.
All that, and yet you never spoke about it.
He ran his hand through his hair, pulling it back, averting his eyes from you. There was nothing of value that could come out of his mouth for him to say. He finished off the last few strips of noodles in his cup and placed it next to yours.
While you watched Senku mess with his hair for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, you decided to do something about it and picked up a comb from the nearby desk. You leaned in closer to him, starting to brush his hair. It was a way that you two bonded together when you were kids, which only started because you enjoyed how he had longer and softer hair.
It was a quite a while now since you last felt the tufts of his hair on your fingers. Only the longer part stayed true now, his hair now a bit rougher than before. It couldn't be helped. He spent more and more of his time doing science, after all. Why would he care about his hair when there was new things for him to discover?
Your expression stayed soft. You hadn't said a thing, but it was clear to see how much you cared through each of your actions. Doing such a gentle gesture like this, despite your own exhaustion.
Senku had to stop himself from wincing as he leaned into your touch. Your touch reminded him of simpler times. He didn't really like looking back on things, but the more you brushed his hair, the more he thought about how long you two have known each other. He felt.. conflicted. It was like he was using you. Even if you did everything you did out of your own free will, he never exactly stopped you. The guilt was starting to eat him up alive.
He decided to hold out his hand, as if asking for you to put yours.
You slowly stopped combing his hair, placing said comb back onto the table before putting your hand in his. Your eyes fixated on his hands while you held him, slowly rubbing your thumb on his calloused fingers. Since when did they start to get so rough..? You had a feeling that he couldn't give you the answer even if he wanted to.
Senku watched how focused you were on his hands. He felt.. what's the word? Vulnerable. He hadn't felt like that in a while. And when he did, you always seemed to be the cause. He slowly shook his head, trying to rid himself of such thoughts. It wasn't logical. Though.. when were the two of you ever a logical thing together?
You held his hands tightly, lingering for a second too long before letting go.
You had always been awkward when it came to physical touch, especially with him. But it was your favorite thing to do. To hold someone. To feel them, to know they're real.
Senku knew that.
"You should head to bed," you finally mumble out. The digital clock on Senku's shelf now struck five, an hour since you first tried to come in here to convince him to sleep.
The boy stared now at his empty hands.
"...Not yet."
"You always say that."
The silence between you two felt tense once more. You slowly stood up and approached Senku from the back, starting to give him a light massage on the shoulders.
"The deadline is still a few weeks away, I promise you, you can spend the day sleeping and you'll feel better.."
Senku let out a small hiss as you started to relieve some of his shoulder pain. Why'd you always have to know just exactly what he needed? Or what was good for him? …Could he do the same for you? Would he even be able to? Such thoughts ran through his mind before he remembered to reply to you.
"I have a lot to do," he protested.
"Senku..." You sighed.
You slowly worked up your hands from his shoulders to the back of his neck, feeling how stiff it had become. Senku had spent the last two weeks just sitting in place at his desk, only moving to eat or go to the bathroom, so it wasn't surprising how much knots there were for you to loosen up.
Senku couldn't understand why you were able to withstand his stubbornness. How you had been so patient with him, so gentle. Why haven't you snapped at him yet? You were an enigma to him, despite being your closest friend. He stayed quiet.
You lowered yourself, resting your head on his shoulder, placing your arms around him and holding him in a light embrace. You didn't say anything, no, but both of them knew what you had in mind. It was seriously time for the both of them to go to sleep. But Senku refused to go to bed, and you were too stubborn to go to bed without Senku sleeping first. You couldn't guarantee that he went to sleep unless you saw it yourself, after all.
Senku knew it was against his better judgement to indulge you like this. He wanted to say something, anything.. anything for you to leave him alone. But he lays his head on yours.
"Head to bed with me," you whispered in his ear, your voice growing hoarse, a desperate plea for him to take a break. You tighten your embrace around him, your head laid there against his cheek.
You two looked like a couple. You knew that. Senku knew that. But neither of you brought it up. The words seemed to be stuck in both of your throats.
Maybe it was for the best that you two were roommates.
You both convinced yourselves that they only did such intimate things with each other out of "necessity", whatever that meant, and that it was okay as they've known each other since they were in grade school.
Both of them denied themselves the bitter truth; that they needed the other.
But you two needed each other differently.
Senku listens to your gentle breathing in his ear.
You continued to stand there, your body pressed against his back, your face buried in his messy hair, and his iconic locks now falling down his shoulders as he grew more exhausted. He knew you were waiting for him to reply, but he wanted to savour these last few moments.
"I cant," he finally says, pulling away from you.
He picks up his pencil again, trying to act as if nothing was bothering him. He couldn't sleep now. Not when he was so close. Just one more hour…
You feel a few tears start to well up in your eyes, but you quickly wipe them off. Forced to leave Senku alone, you pick up the empty cups to take along with you before you left his room. But as you step out the door, you can't help but look at him one more time. Each stroke he wrote down on that paper fueled the frustration you held at him. Maybe another time he'd realize that it wouldn't kill him to rest.
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Senku curses himself for the way that he is as he wrote down another equation. He feels utterly alone, and it was a hell of his own making. He secretly hoped that you would've stayed anyway, despite how much he tried to push you away. But it seems that even you had your limits with him, huh?
He desperately tries to rid himself of the guilt, sketching more and more components for the rocket, but it followed his every thought. Maybe his push to be efficient and logical was hurting him more than he thought.
Before he knew it, the lead of his pencil breaks.
He throws it across the desk and leaned back into his chair, taking a glance at his bed, and it was like he could hear you whispering to him to sleep.
Maybe he should.