Work Text:
SCENE 1
SETTING: A meadow in the town of Dormont. It's a bright, sunny day. Peaceful.
AT RISE: THE TRAVELER is lying down in the middle of the field, taking a nap.
(Enter THE HOUSEMAIDEN)
THE HOUSEMAIDEN
Siffrin!
Oh, this is fun! You’ve always loved watching plays. The way the acting, the costumes, the lights, and the set all come together to transport you away into the story is just so captivating. Somewhere in the midst of it all, you forget that you’re just watching actors on a stage. You forget that none of this is real.
And this play is one of your favourites, isn’t it? It must be! After all, you’ve seen it so many times!
But, now you get a different perspective on it. This time, you’re in the audience! You don’t have to remember your lines. You don’t have to act in a way that’s believable. You don’t have to follow the script.
You just have to sit back and watch.
How fun!
(There is a flyer posted on the wall. It reads, "House of Change open! Come and see what you can do for the community, and what the community can do for you!!!")
THE HOUSEMAIDEN
(giggles)
I drew those a few years ago to get people to come to the House... It's a little embarrassing now.
You like seeing so many familiar set pieces in this new production. It’s reassuring. This new director is doing a pretty good job so far, but it's always worrying to hand things off to someone new. What if they mess up your perfect play? You don't want things to be different. If you wanted things to be different, you wouldn't be here, watching this play.
But it's okay. Because the script is the same. The script is always the same. If the script calls for a flyer drawn by the Housemaiden, then there has to be a flyer drawn by the Housemaiden on the set, or else the line wouldn’t make any sense. No new director or actor can change that.
Though… you could have sworn that that particular prop used to be somewhere else.
Well, that’s okay too! Plays need to be workshopped. New things need to be tried until they get it just right. That’s why you’re out here, isn’t it? The play just didn’t work with you in the lead role. You weren’t good enough. Now, the new lead actor needs to play around with their role, see what works, see what doesn't. You hope they do well. You hope they do better.
It’s not about you, anyways. That’s the whole point of being in the audience.
THE FIGHTER
But we're family, right?
THE HOUSEMAIDEN
Oh!
THE KID
Yeah! We're family! Like me and Nille! We stay together! We eat together! We say good morning and good night!
THE RESEARCHER
Family... I have a difficult relationship with that word, but... Yes, "family" fits better, I think.
THE HOUSEMAIDEN
Family! What a lovely word to describe our relationship to each other!
Aww! How sweet!!
You love this scene. You love this scene. It’s just so wonderful! The main character gets to be with their family, and they all love each other, and it’s all just so tooth-achingly sweet! How nice!
You... remember being in a scene like this.
You remember how annoying it was to act out every time! Really, it’s hard to pull off that seemingly genuine, teary-eyed reaction when you’ve heard it all so many times. You were starting to get dehydrated, teehee!
But now you get to be in the audience. Now you get to watch from offstage as this heartwarming little scene plays out, and let the emotions wash over you instead of trying to scrounge them up from within yourself.
You watch as the tension in the lead’s shoulders starts to drop, just a little. You watch as they smile, and you don’t even think they’re acting, this time. They’ve come a long way to get this scene right.
It’s nice, isn’t it?
Audiences love this sort of scene.
The audience claps every time. The audience says “aww” out loud. The audience cheers as the main character gets everything they’ve ever wanted.
What a fun play!
THE HOUSEMAIDEN
Up ahead, that's...!
THE RESEARCHER
A Sadness, huh? The House must be crawling with them...
THE HOUSEMAIDEN
O-okay everyone, let's, um, uh--
(THE TRAVELER attacks the Sadness)
(THE TRAVELER attacks the Sadness)
(THE TRAVELER attacks the Sadness)
(THE TRAVELER attacks the Sadness)
Uh oh! Those fight scenes sure are dangerous.
You hope the director has a word with these actors about this! Don’t they know they have to rehearse all the fight scenes before the show? To make sure that everyone can perform them safely without getting hurt?
You’re glad you’re out here, in the audience. It must be tiring, practicing those fight scenes over and over and over. You can understand why some actors might get tired of doing it. Why they might want to skip the rehearsal this one time, and just go straight to the show. They’ve done it so many times, after all. Why would it go wrong this time?
Guess he has the answer to that question now, teehee!
It’s so much nicer being in the audience. You don’t have to rehearse anything. You don’t have to worry about what could happen to your fellow actors if you slip up during a fight. You just have to watch.
Watch as the lead stumbles over their lines, trying to recover.
Watch as the play carries on past that little mishap.
Watch as the play moves inevitably towards its end.
THE TRAVELER
One could say it's a pretty...
THE FIGHTER
Uh huh?
THE TRAVELER
TREE-mendous tree.
THE FIGHTER
HAHAHA! YEAH! YEAH! YES!
(THE FIGHTER brings his hand up towards THE TRAVELER's shoulder.)
(THE TRAVELER grabs his shirt.)
THE FIGHTER
Uh, Sif? Ah--
Stars, these actors!! Can’t they learn to keep their hands off of each other while they’re still on stage?? The audience is right here! How disgusting. How greedy! Sure, actors are supposed to experiment with their roles, but that new lead is taking things a little too far. This isn't in the script. Any actor who even thinks about pulling something like this in the middle of a scene is just disgusting.
At least one of them still has some common sense.
At least one of them knows how to follow the script.
But oops, it looks like the director didn’t like how that scene went after all! They’re doing it again, from the top. Carrying on like nothing ever happened. Some mistakes are easier to just ignore than to improvise your way out of, haha!
But the audience always sees them.
SCENE 1
SETTING: A meadow in the town of Dormont. It's a bright, sunny day. Peaceful.
AT RISE: THE TRAVELER is lying down in the middle of the field, taking a nap.
(THE TRAVELER sits up suddenly. They make a strange handsign, bring it to the side of their head, and wish--)
THE TRAVELER
What's her name?!
One of the actors forgot their lines.
How stupid~! What a bad actor they must be. After rehearsing the same lines over and over and over, they still forget them? Guess they just don’t care that much! They just don’t care about this perfect play or their fellow actors!
But.. you know that’s not true.
And you’ve seen this play so many times. You know all the lines.
So when the actor calls out for their line, you answer.
Because you’re not stupid. You know he cares. You can see it in their eye, in the way they talk, in the way they hold themself. You can feel just how much they care in every word they say to you during the endless intermissions.
And you know exactly how it feels to care, and care, and still forget.
You give him his lines. And watch as the play moves on.
THE TRAVELER
Yeah, something's wrong.
THE FIGHTER
I knew it! What is it, can I help? If you tell me, we can go and talk to everyone, and--
THE TRAVELER
What's wrong is that you're getting on my nerves.
The lead actor has gone too far off script.
You’re not sure how he’s going to salvage this one, honestly. The other actors are doing their best, but it’s hard to “yes, and” with someone who doesn’t “yes, and” back, haha!
…
You want to tell them off for acting like this, but you know you don’t have any room to talk. There’s a reason you’re not the lead anymore.
It’s almost funny. This is how the play ends up, when it started the way it did? This is what you wanted? This is the show you wished for, the show you wished to watch, over and over and over and over?
It hurts to watch.
No audience would want to watch a play like this.
THE RESEARCHER
After what just happened to all of us today... Could you do it, everyone? Could you entrust your life and future to someone like Siffrin right now?
(THE TRAVELER)
(Exits stage left.)
You have to get the play back on track.
But how? You can call yourself a “sponsor” however much you like, but in the end, you’re just the audience. All you can really do is sit back and watch. Watch as the play unfolds again and again and again and—oh.
The other actors are here.
Here, in the theatre seats, with you. The play has gone so off the rails that they’ve left the stage.
They’re looking for help.
You want to help.
But you’re the audience, you can’t—you can’t let them see you—that would spoil the play, it would ruin it—you can’t just insert yourself into a story that isn’t yours anymore—
But.
But.
But, maybe, a stagehand…?
Every good play needs a crew, right? The actors would be nothing without all those people working tirelessly behind the scenes to keep everything running smoothly.
And this play isn’t running very smoothly at all.
So, a stagehand, then! You can be a stagehand! You can step in, and help get things back on track. You can remind your actors of their lines, and help them find their cues, and make sure they hit their marks. And then, once things are back on track, you can step back into the shadows and watch the play unfold.
That’s what you’re here for, right?
THE KING
Hello, bright one.
I am surprised to see you alone, facing me... I was expecting at least that that Housemaiden would come. The Saviour of Vaugarde. And yet you, bright one, are the only one before me...
And... Your clothes... Aren't they...
Bright one. Are you sure you want to do this...?
You can’t watch anymore.
You wish you still had a stomach to feel sick to.
THE FIGHTER
Tell us!
THE RESEARCHER
Tell us!
THE KID
TELL US!
THE HOUSEMAIDEN
Just tell us, Siffrin!
THE FIGHTER, THE RESEARCHER, THE KID, & THE HOUSEMAIDEN
JUST TELL US WHAT YOU WISHED FOR!
The lights dim. The curtain falls. The audience claps.
After all those rehearsals, the show is finally over.
Your perfect play finally had its perfect ending. Shouldn’t you be happy? Shouldn’t you be cheering? After all, you helped! You made this happen! You’re the reason the play made it to the end!
And now that the show is over, the audience needs to leave the theatre.
But you can’t move.
You never really thought it would end. How could it? An ending wasn’t what you wished for. An ending wasn’t something the Universe would ever give you, and that was okay, because that was what you wanted, so it must be okay.
But now, somehow, the show is over.
What use is there for a stagehand without a show to put on?
What good is an audience in front of an empty stage?
What is the point of you still being here???
You’re a retired actor, hahaha!! No one wants a retiree! You’re too old~! You’re not convincing enough anymore! You gave up your starring role to a younger, fresher actor, and now you can’t have it back!! You can sit in the audience and pretend like you know what you’re talking about, and you can pretend to be a stagehand as if you could ever be any help to anyone, but now the show is over and no one can even pretend to need you anymore!!!
The lights dim! The curtain falls! The audience claps!
Because the show is finally over!
And the audience…!
(THE AUDIENCE exits the theatre.)
BLACKOUT.