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Alex knocked his elbow against Greg's dressing room door. Ordinarily, he'd knock like a normal person, but the two bottles of beer he was clutching kept him from managing it. "Yeah?" Greg called.
"It's me."
"Come in, 'me'," Greg said, and Alex felt himself relax, just slightly, just as he always did when it was just him and Greg.
Relaxed enough that he could make the obvious joke. "Was that an invitation?" he asked as he fumbled with the doorknob to open it without spilling either beer.
Greg arched an eyebrow as he glanced up from his phone, pointedly making no effort to actually help Alex. "Was what an invitation?"
Alex gave him his most innocent smile. "Come in me," he said, his grin widening when Greg barked a laugh.
"Jesus Christ," he said, which Alex made a mental note was not a denial as he handed one of the beers to Greg. "You should really just start keeping the beer in here, you realise."
Alex just shrugged. "You know as well as I do that the day I do that is the day you decide you'd rather relocate these end of series debriefs to my dressing room instead of yours," he pointed out, plopping down on the sofa.
Greg chuckled as he stood to join Alex on the sofa. "After 17 series, I think our routine's pretty well set, mate," he said, tilting his beer bottle to clink it against Alex's. "Speaking of, cheers to another successful series."
"Cheers," Alex echoed, taking a pull from his beer.
"I've an issue with you calling this a debrief, though," Greg said, and Alex glanced up at him.
"Oh?" he said mildly.
Greg smirked down at him. "I don't exactly plan on doing a lot of debriefing," he murmured, and Alex grinned, tilting his head up to kiss him.
"Maybe not," he allowed when they broke apart a few minutes later, both men significantly redder in the face than before, and their beers significantly warmer. "But I can't exactly block out an hour on our calendars for 'Greg and Alex's post-series snog session', can I."
Greg snorted. "Not without someone asking some questions," he said. "Chief among them being who the fuck calls it a snog session."
"What would you rather I called it?" Alex asked.
Greg's smirk sharpened. "Personally," he said, his voice low in that way that made Alex melt, "I'd rather you didn't speak at all."
A request Alex was, for once only too happy to fulfill.
They hadn't quite been doing this for 17 series now – the snogging part, at least, though the debrief with beer had started after that first series, mostly as a way to celebrate it going miles better than either could possibly have anticipated. And then by the time the snogging did start, the show was well-established enough that they didn't really need to debrief anymore, which meant they could just spend that dedicated hour doing whatever they wanted.
Well, not quite whatever. Patrick from wardrobe had very delicately threatened them both with grievous bodily harm if they ruined yet another pair of Greg's trousers, which meant they mostly stuck to snogging and left the rest for the after-party.
Emphasis on mostly.
But for some reason, Greg pulled away earlier than expected, and Alex frowned up at him. "What?" he asked, using the break for another swig of beer.
"Nothing," Greg said, and when Alex just gave him a look, he laughed and shook his head. "It really is nothing. Just one little thing I did sort of want to have a debrief about."
Alex raised both eyebrows, surprised. Usually if Greg wanted to debrief, which almost certainly involved him looking for reassurance that he'd been funny enough or the right mix of mean and kind, he'd just launch into it without preamble. "Go on, then," he said, taking another sip of beer.
Greg turned to face him more fully, something unreadable in his expression. "I've been trying to decide," he started, but didn't seem in any hurry to continue, and Alex frowned.
"Decide what?" he prompted.
Greg rubbed his lip before saying, "If it was a series-long elaborate joke that no one noticed so you didn't say anything so that you can potentially reuse it, or if it was something else."
Alex blinked. "You realise I have no idea what you mean, right?"
"The health and safety stuff with John."
Alex opened his mouth, then closed it again before finally saying, "I still don't know what you mean."
It was no wonder Greg gave him a stern look. "Alex," he chided with a sigh, reaching out to ruffle Alex's hair, grinning when Alex ducked away, scowling.
"What?" Alex said defensively.
Again Greg gave him a look. "Mate, we did a bit one time where you, the creator and executive producer of a hit television programme, let me, the 22 stone host, stand on your back, and I'm fairly certain we had a thirty second long conversation with Health and Safety where they told us it was a bad idea and we did it anyway."
Alex jerked a shrug. "So?" he said.
Greg raised an eyebrow. "So I'm curious why John Robins balancing a lightweight gutter on top of his head merited that much safety kit," he said coolly, "where Nick Mohammed, in the same task, while balancing a snooker cue and umbrella on his chin, did not."
Alex felt himself flush, more from the realisation that Greg had paid that much attention than his own involvement. "Oh."
"Yeah, oh."
Alex scratched his cheek. "Are you secretly just trying to figure out if I was trying to off Nick on the off-chance you developed a crush on him?" he asked lightly, teasingly. "Which, I might add, you did."
Greg just scowled and prodded him in the stomach. "We're not talking about my crushes," he said. "Though to be fair you and I both know there'd've been hell to pay if Nick had hurt himself, but likely not from me."
"Mm," Alex hummed in mild dissent.
"At least not all from me," Greg corrected with a chuckle, leaning over to kiss Alex's forehead.
But Alex wrinkled his nose as he frowned up at him. "If you're implying that I made John sit through extra health and safety conversations because I have a crush on him—"
"The thought had crossed my mind," Greg admitted, poking Alex in the side again and giggling when he squirmed. "But you're usually a bit more of a shit if you've got a crush."
Alex laughed breathlessly. "Is that what I was to you?" he asked, faux-innocent, and almost certainly deserving the mock glower Greg sent his way.
"Do you really want me to answer that?" he asked dryly.
"No," Alex said with another laugh. His smile faded somewhat as he rested his head against Greg's shoulder. "So if you aren't implying that it was a crush, what are you saying?"
Greg scratched his fingernails lightly against the back of Alex's head. "I’m saying nothing," he said evenly. "Just that I think there's more to the story here, and I'm curious what that is."
Alex closed his eyes. "Mm. Meaning you're being nosy."
Greg just laughed. "Of course I am," he said, not even bothering to feign insult. Alex shook his head, his eyes still closed and Greg kissed the top of his head once more before telling him, "You don't have to tell me."
But Alex shook his head again, and after a long moment, he opened his eyes. "It started as a joke," he said, craning his neck so he could look up at Greg.
"Ok."
Alex snuggled closer against him, and Greg put his arm around his shoulders. "It was like an extra task, like what I did to Watto," Alex told Greg, who nodded. "Only I know John, and I know he'd been expecting that. So it became an extra roadblock, to make him sit through a health and safety lecture or wear extra safety kit."
And it had been great fun for Alex, John shooting him increasingly desperate, pleading looks as he was forced to sit through a two hour conversation with Health and Safety for a five minute task. "But then there was a task," Alex said quietly, "and he was sitting with Health and Safety again going over what he was and wasn't allowed to do, and listening to him argue with them…"
He shook his head. "I was afraid he really might do anything to win. At the expense of his own safety if necessary."
He'd had no doubt about it back then, and had none now either. John was a great friend who'd done a lot of work on himself in recent years, but he was still the most competitive person Alex had ever met, and would've risked life and limb without a second thought if that was what it took to get five points.
Greg nodded slowly, stroking Alex's hair gently. "So if he wasn't going to protect himself…"
Alex shrugged. "Two birds, one stone, I suppose."
Greg gathered him close, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "You wanted to take care of him," he told Alex, his voice little more than a low rumble. "In the way you do best."
Alex pulled a face and looked away. "Something like that, anyway."
But Greg didn't let him squirm away, whether literally or figuratively, just tightening his grip on Alex. "C'mere," he murmured, pulling Alex in and tilting his head down to kiss him once more.
Alex kissed him back, but when they broke apart, he asked, "What was that for?"
Greg shook his head. "Nothing," he said quietly, though his voice was strangely thick, and he had to clear his throat before adding, in what he clearly hoped was an offhand sort of way. "I just– I love the way you love. That's all."
"Oh," Alex said, flushing again at the unexpected compliment, his chest strangely tight. "Thank you?"
He didn't mean to pitch it as a question, but he didn't really know how to respond to how Greg saw him sometimes. Luckily, Greg just chuckled again. "You're welcome," he said, kissing the top of Alex's head once more. "I love you."
Alex closed his eyes again, resting his head against Greg's chest. "I love you, too."
For a few long minutes, they stayed just like that, Greg's hand keeping up a gentle rhythm as he stoked Alex's hair. When his hand finally stilled, Alex let out a light groan and tried to nudge it with his head. Greg laughed lightly. "Shall we head to the wrap party?" he asked.
Alex cracked one eye open to glance at the clock and closed it again, nestling his head back against Greg's chest. "Mm. I think we've got a little time yet."
Greg glanced at the clock as well, the time clearly indicating that they were already running late, and a small, soft smile lifted the corner of his mouth before he bent down to press one last kiss to the top of Alex's head.
Like he said, he loved the way Alex loved.