Work Text:
Leo banged dutifully on the bathroom door as he passed it, like they’d all been doing since Mikey surpassed his allotted time slot.
“Just remember we all need to shower tonight!” he grouched. They’d reminded him multiple times already, getting sing-songy retorts such as ‘you sure do’ and ‘oh, was that tonight?’ Leo didn’t have an answer ready for whatever Mikey might say, but he was getting more and more frustrated and felt ready to get into a shouting match about it. Even if he didn’t get the bathroom any sooner, at least he’d give Mikey a piece of his mind.
Mikey didn’t give him the opportunity; his new strategy was ignoring them completely.
He shook his head, moving back to the living room to nudge Donnie away from the arm of the couch—the edge was his seat.
“How long’s he been in there now?” Raph asked.
Donnie checked his timer. “An hour and fifty-two minutes. He’s officially taken the top spot as household john hog.”
Venus tilted her head at Donatello, her question practically asking itself. She had been trying to find out who John was since she herself had earned the title of household john hog. Raph and Donnie were seeing how long they could stretch it out, but Leo was starting to feel bad. He might just break down and explain soon. Of course, when he’d tried to explain to her what Raph meant about raining cats and dogs, he had just about made them both cry talking himself in circles, and may or may not have accidentally convinced her that a cat was a type of fish. So maybe it would be best if he didn’t say anything about the john.
“Hey,” Raph stopped Venus’s impending question and broke Leo’s train of thought. “Didn’t he ignore Donnie last time, too? How many knocks since he’s actually answered us?”
Donnie’s eyes rolled up as he counted in his head, then got comically wide instead of answering. Leo was more alarmed by Donnie’s reaction than he was by remembering how many times it had been, which he didn’t, but he exchanged an alarmed look with him anyway before they both bolted for the bathroom door.
“Mikey,” Donnie banged on it repeatedly with a flat palm. “If you can hear me you better answer!”
Nothing.
He twisted the knob back and forth furiously, then made a frustrated noise and knelt in front of it. By now Venus, Raph, and Splinter had gathered behind them.
“Michelangelo!” Venus cried. “We need to know you’re safe!”
“He has probably fallen asleep,” Splinter said urgently. “We must get the door open.”
“Quick,” Donnie held his hand out to no one in particular. “Give me a bobby pin.”
Leo was closest. He checked his belt, trying to do something with his hands, but it was stupid and useless because he didn’t even know what a bobby pin was. He turned to Raph expectantly; if anyone besides Don knew about tools, it’d be Raph.
Raph gave Leo a look, and then directed the same at Donnie. “Do I look like I have a bobby pin?”
“Who is Bobby?” Venus asked predictably.
Donnie waved his hand impatiently. “Or a credit card or a screwdriver or something!”
“Yeah, right,” Leo crossed his arms. “I am not making the mistake of giving you my credit card again.”
Okay, so the credit card in question had been one Leo found, it was already deactivated and he only kept it in case. He hadn’t decided in case of what. Donnie still could’ve warned him it would probably snap in half and not be any good anymore before he’d handed it over.
“Dah,” Donnie let his head fall against the bathroom door in frustration. “Will somebody get me some kind of long thin object?”
“Forget Bobby,” Venus took a couple deliberate steps back, eyeing the door with determination. “Leave it to me.”
The other three glanced at each other. Could she use her magic to open the bathroom door? And if she could, could she teach Leo how to do that? Not that there were a lot of situations where he would need to open a locked door, and usually when he did Donnie could take care of it… but it was bound to come up sometimes! Besides, it would just be cool to be able to do even if he never used it.
They nodded at each other and stepped aside, giving her plenty of space in case the spell went wrong.
But instead of standing with her arms down in her usual focused magic stance, Venus ran at the door, aiming a kick at it.
Her foot connected; her face screwed up in pain; she crumpled to the floor. The door splintered, but it was nothing like an opening. She’d just left an angry foot-shaped indent.
Donnie sighed and helped her to her feet. “Welcome to Meathead Club,” he said dryly. “You stand over there with your fellow meatheads,” he pointed to Raph and Leo, who tried to glare at him but probably only ended up looking like they were showcasing their best meathead expressions, “While Splinter and I try to get the door open.”
Right on cue, Splinter appeared at Donnie’s elbow. Leo hadn’t even noticed he’d left.
“I found your bobby pins.” He held up a small bin full of something thin and darkly colored. Donnie picked one up, and Leo could see that it was almost like a very oddly shaped paper clip, but instead of being bent totally around itself, it was just folded in half, one side straight and the other squiggly.
“Ah, good,” Don resumed his spot kneeling in front of the door, sticking the bobby pin into the knob.
They all watched anxiously. Leo caught himself still listening for Michelangelo, hopeful they’d hear him snickering to himself at them for making a fuss, like this had all been a prank.
“Hey,” Raph said in Leo’s ear, “I think I hear him snoring.”
“Well, I can’t hear anything with you right in my ear,” Leo pushed at his face. With stress levels high the retort came automatically, but afterwards he listened more closely, and was grateful to hear gentle snores coming from the bathroom.
Soon, with a click and a sigh of relief, Donnie had the bathroom door open, and they were all crowding inside.
“Mikey!”
In the chaos, Leo first caught sight of the orange bandana handing right over top of Mikey’s blue and white striped towel. Then, he saw his little brother’s face, bare and eerily still, head resting on the back of the shower.
In the next moment, Mikey startled awake and started screaming.
“Are you okay?”
“Aaaah!”
“Don’t fall asleep in the bathtub, idiot!”
“You could’ve drowned!”
Mikey was on his feet now, clutching the curtain to block his body and glaring at them reproachfully.
“Don’t sneak up on a turtle in the bathtub, dudes! How did you even get in here?”
“Bobby let us in,” Venus explained.
“After Venus tried to kick the door in,” Donnie added.
Mikey stared open-mouthed for a moment, head bobbing as he tried to decide which piece of information to react to. “Who is Bobby?” he demanded.
“That’s what I want to know,” Venus crossed her arms. “Let Raph have a turn in the shower and come explain to me why Donnie is always looking for strange men.”
Donnie and Leo exchanged uncomfortable looks at the unintentional implication. Someone was definitely going to need to explain to Venus about the john soon, before she said something like that in front of someone who would try to embarrass her.
Raph had other things on his mind. “Hey, why’d she single me out? Leo stinks at least as much as I do.”
“Better question,” Mikey said testily, “Why are you all still in here?”
“No,” Leo pointed at him accusingly, “Why are you still in here? It was almost two hours!”
“I got another better question,” Raph cut in, “Why does a bald green mutant have a bin full of bobby pins?”
Leo had no idea why that was a better question. Donnie had all kinds of random odds and ends that Leo didn’t understand. He was a lot more concerned about Mikey falling asleep in the bathtub. Clearly he was fine, but he could’ve easily not been!
“Well, people lose them all over the place,” Donnie shrugged. “They’re even easier to find than paper clips or aluminum cans. They fall down sewer grates, get stuck in drains, get dropped all over the street and the junkyard—”
“So the bobby pins come down the john?” Venus asked.
“Yeah, or they can—” Donnie froze as he realized who the question had come from. “Wait a minute.”
Venus laughed innocently and turned on her heel, speed-walking towards the living room. Donnie followed.
“How long have you known what the john is, Venus? Venus. Come back here.”
Leo felt it would be immature to laugh, so he bit his lip hard. He glanced at Raph, who had a fist pressed against his mouth. They were both definitely not laughing about this.
“If the rest of you will leave,” Mikey snapped, “I can get dressed and one of you stinkheads can take a shower.”
“No more naps in the tub,” Leo said firmly, but nonetheless obediently retreated.
In front of him, in the living room, Donnie was grilling Venus about what other phrases she knew. She was valiantly feigning ignorance with a little smirk that said otherwise. Behind him, Master Splinter had stopped Raphael to share something that seemed important from the tone, but listening in, Leo found it dull and just plain odd.
“Never underestimate the importance of a bobby pin. They keep the fur out of my face, and you never know how they can turn out useful.”
“I guess,” Raph mumbled. “But why don’t you just use hair gel or something?”
“You are not listening, Raphael,” Splinter said severely. “Can hair gel be used to pick a lock?”
Meanwhile, Venus was still insisting she did not know who Bobby was or why Donatello thought he would be in the toilet with them, and possibly conceding that their home might not be called the toilet, but perhaps the john.
And somehow between the two conversations, it finally clicked for Leo who Bobby in fact was.
“Bobby pins are for your hair?” he blurted.
Donnie and Venus immediately turned their attention to giving him tired stares.
Raph clapped him on the back.
“Yeah, Leo, they’re for his hair. You know he’s gotta keep it pulled back when he’s working with all that electrical stuff.”
Leo blushed, not certain exactly why he felt so embarrassed. Probably leftover stress from the scare Michelangelo had given them all.
“Right,” he nodded sagely. “Safety first.”